Many psychologists think conflict is the cause of many types of emotional disorder. From childhood onward, each of us has goals and desires, but it is not easy to reach them, because they often run into the goals and desires of others. When a person cannot see any way out of a problem, this conflict leads to anxiety—psychological stress. When we cannot resolve a conflict, we all feel anxious. However, the World of a mentally ill person is full of such anxiety—endless frustration because the World seems too much to cope with. The person (and any of us) can react to this frustration in either two ways: fight or withdraw. Individuals are subject to fields of force and energy in their living, much like the forces in physics. Some people, objects, experiences have an attraction for us. We desire, want, need them. They are positive, like the + pole of a magnet. Sine they attract us, we say we tend to approach them. Other objects, people, or situations repel, disgust, or frighten us. We view them not as attractive (+) but as negative (-), and we tend to avoid them. It has been suggested that the stigmatized individual defines oneself as no different from any other human being, while at the same time one and those around one define one as someone set apart. #RandolphHarris 1 of 20

Given this basic self-contradiction of the stigmatized individual, if only to find a doctrine which makes consistent sense out of one’s situation, it is understandable that one will make some effort to find a way out of one’s dilemma. In contemporary society, this means that the individual will not only attempt on one’s own to hammer out such a code, but that, as already suggested, professionals will help out—sometimes in the guise of telling their life story or of telling how they handled a difficult situation. The codes that are presented to the stigmatized individual, whether explicitly or implicitly, tend to cover certain standard matters. A desirable pattern of revealing and concealing is suggested. (For example, in the case of the former mental patient it is sometimes recommended that one properly conceal one’s stigma from mere acquaintances but feel secure enough in one’s sanity, and believe enough in the medical, nor moral, nature of one’s past failings, to reveal oneself to one’s spouse, one’s close friends, and one’s employer.) Other standard matters are: formulae for dealing with ticklish situations; the support one should give to one’s own; the type of fraternization with normals that should be maintained; the kinds of prejudice against one’s own kind that one should blink at and the kinds one should openly attack. #RandolphHarris 2 of 20

More standard matters include: the extent to which one should present oneself as a person as normal receiving slightly different treatment; the facts about one’s own kind one should take pride in; the facing up to one’s own differentness that one should engage in. Although the codes or lines presented to those with a particular stigma will differ among themselves, there are certain arguments, however contradictory, that are very generally agreed on.  The stigmatized person is almost always warned against attempting to pass completely. (After all, expect for the anonymous confessor, it might be difficult for anyone to advocate this tack in open print.) Too, one is generally warned against fully accepting as one’s own the negative attitudes of others towards one. One is likely to be warned against “minstrelization,” whereby the stigmatized person ingratiatingly acts out before normals the full dance of bad qualities imputed to one’s kind, thereby consolidating a life situation into a clownish role: I also learned that the physically disabled must be careful not to act differently from what people expect one to do. Above all they expect the disabled to be disabled; to be disabled and helpless: to be inferior to themselves, and they will become suspicious and insecure if the disabled falls short of these expectations. #RandolphHarris 3 of 20

It is rather strange, but the disabled has to play the part of the disabled, just as many women have to be what the men expect them to be, just women; and some subordinates often have to act like clowns in from of their superiors, so that the superior shall not be frightened by competition. I once knew a person, well below average height. who was a very endearing example of this, indeed. She was very small, about four feet tall, and she was extremely well educated. In front of people, however, she was very careful not to be anything other than a tiny woman, and she played the part of the unaware well with the same mocking laughter and the same quick, funny movements that have been the characteristics of atypical people since the royal courts of the Middles Ages. Only when she was among friends, she could throw away her cap and bells and dare to be the woman she really was: intelligent, sad, and very lonely. And, contrariwise, one is usually warned against “normification” or “deminstrelization;” one is encouraged to have distaste for those of one’s fellows who, without actually making a secret of their stigma, engage in careful covering, being very careful to show that in spite of appearances they are very sane, very generous, very sober, very masculine, very capable of hard physical labour and taxing sports, in short, that they are gentlemen or gentlewomen deviants, nice persons like ourselves in spite of the reputation of their kind. #RandolphHarris 4 of 20

It should be plain that these advocated codes of conduct provide the stigmatized individual not merely with a platform and a politics, and not merely with instruction as to how to treat others, but with recipes for an appropriate attitude regarding the self. To fail to adhere to the code is to be a self-deluded, misguided person; to succeed is to be both real and worthy, two spiritual qualities that combine to produce what is called “authenticity.” It should be noted that although literature on authenticity is concerned with how the individual ought to behave, and is therefore moralistic, nonetheless it is presented in the guise of dispassionate neutral analysis, since authenticity is supposed to imply a realistic reality-orientation; and in fact at this time this literature is the best source of neutral analysis concerning these identity issues.  Two implications of his advocacy might be mentioned here. First, this advice about personal conduct sometimes stimulates the stigmatized individual into becoming a critic of the social scene, an observer of human relations. One may be led into placing brackets around a spate of casual social interaction so as to examine what is contained therein for general themes. One can become “situation conscious” while normals present are spontaneously involved within the situation, the situation itself constituting for these normals a background of unattended matters. #RandolphHarris 5 of 20

This extension of consciousness on the part of the stigmatized persons is reinforced, as earlier suggested, by one’s special aliveness to the contingencies of acceptance and disclosure, contingencies to which normals will be less alive. This is merely one aspect of the general tendency for stigmatized individuals to face a wide review and capsulation their life where a normal might not have to. Thus, a stigmatized person who obtains a family and job is sometimes said to have “made something out of one’s life.” Similarly, someone who marries a stigmatized person is said to have “thrown one’s life away.” All this is reinforced in some cases by the individual becoming a “case” for social workers or other welfare officers and retaining this case status for the remainder of one’s life. Secondly, advice to the stigmatized often deals quite candidly with the part of one’s life that one feels is most private and shameful; one’s most deeply hidden sores are touched on and examined in the clinical manner that is current literary fashion. Intense debates regarding personal positions can be presented in fictionalized form, along with thorough-going crises of conscience. Fantasies of humiliation and of triumph over normals can be packaged and made available. #RandolphHarris 6 of 20

Here the most private and embarrassing is the most collective, for the stigmatized individual’s deepest feelings are made of just the stuff that verbal and vocal members of one’s category present in a well-rounded version. And since what is available to the stigmatized is necessarily available to us, these presentations can hardly avoid raising the issue of exposure and betrayal, even though their ultimate effect is probably helpful to the situation of the stigmatized. Another subject to be broached gingerly is the idealized image. It would lead us too far afield to discuss here the conditions under which certain aspects of it can be tackled at a fairly early stage. Caution is advisable, however, since the idealized image is often the only part of the patient that is real to one. It may be, what is more, the only element that provides one with a kind of self-esteem and that keeps one from drowning in self-contempt. The individual must have gained a measure of realistic strength before one can tolerate any undermining of one’s image. To work at sadistic trends at an early period in the analysis is sure to be unprofitable. The reason lies, in part, in the extreme contrast these trends present to the idealized image. Even at a later period awareness of them often fills that individual with terror and disgust. However, there is a more precise reason for postponing this piece of analysis until the patient has become less hopeless and more resourceful. #RandolphHarris 7 of 20

One cannot possibly be interested in overcoming one’s sadistic trends while one is still unconsciously convinced that vicarious living is the only thing left to one. The same guide to the timing of interpretations can be employed when its individual application depends upon the particular character structure. For example, with a patient in whom aggressive trends predominate—one who despises feelings as a weakness and acclaims everything that gives the appearance of strength—this attitude with all its implications must be worked through first. It would be a mistake to give precedence to any aspect of one’s need for human intimacy, no matter how obvious this need was to the analyst. The individual would resent any move of this kind as a threat to one’s security. One would feel that one must be on one’s guard against the analyst’s wish to make one a “goody-goody.” Only when one is much stronger will one be able to tolerate one’s tendencies toward compliance and self-effacement. With this individual one would also have to steer clear for some time of the problem of hopelessness, since one would be likely to resist admitting any such feeling. Hopelessness for one would have the connotation of loathsome self-pity and mean a disgraceful confession of defeat. #RandolphHarris 8 of 20

Conversely, if compliant trends predominate, all the factors involved in “moving toward” people must be thoroughly worked through before any dominating or vindictive tendencies can be tackled. Again, if an individual sees oneself as a great genius or a great lover, it would be a complete waste of time to approach one’s fear of being despised and rejected, and even more futile to tackle one’s self-contempt. Sometimes the scope of what can be tackled at the beginning is very limited. This is so in particular when a high degree of externalization is combined with a rigid self-idealization—a position that will countenance no flows. If certain signs reveal this condition to the analyst, one will save much time by avoiding all interpretations that even remotely imply that the source of the individual’s trouble lies within oneself. However, it may be feasible at this period to touch on particular aspects of the idealized image, such as the inordinate demands that individual makes upon oneself. Familiarity with the dynamics of the neurotic character structure also helps the analyst to grasp more quickly and more concisely just what the individual wants to express by one’s associations and hence what ought to be dealt with at the moment. One will be able to visualize and predict from seemingly insignificant indications one whole aspect of the individual’s personality, and so can direct one’s attention to the elements to watch for. #RandolphHarris 9 of 20

One’s position would be like that of the internist who, when one learns that an individual is coughing, perspiring at night, and fatigued in the late afternoon, considers the possibility of pulmonary tuberculosis and is guided accordingly in one’s examination. If, for instance, an individual is apologetic in one’s behaviour, is ready to admire the analyst, and reveals self-effacing tendencies in one’s associations, the analyst will visualize all the factors involved in “moving toward” people. One will examine the possibility of this being the individual’s predominant attitude; and if one finds further evidence one will try to work at this from every possible angle. Similarly, is an individual repeatedly talks of experiences in which one felt humiliated, and indicates that one looks upon the analysis in this light, the analyst will know that one has to tackle the individual’s fear of humiliation. And one will select for interpretation that source of the fear which at the time is most accessible. One may be able, for example, to connect it with the individual’s need for affirmation of one’s idealized image, provided parts of the image have already come to awareness. Again, if the individual shows inertia in the analytical situation and talks of feeling doomed, the analyst will have to tackle one’s hopelessness in so far as that is possible at the moment. #RandolphHarris 10 of 20

If this should occur at the very beginning one may be able only to point out its meaning—namely, that the individual has given oneself up. One will then try to convey to one that one’s hopelessness does not spring from a factually hopeless situation but constitutes a problem to be understood and eventually solved. If the hopelessness appears at a later period that analyst maybe able to relate it more specifically to one’s despair of finding a way out of one’s conflicts or of ever measuring up to one’s idealized image. The suggested measures still leave ample room for the analyst’s intuition and for one’s sensitivity to what is going on in the individual. These remain valuable, even indispensable tools which the analyst should strive to develop to one’s utmost. However, the fact that intuition is employed does not mean that the procedure lies merely in the realm of “art” or that it is one where the application of common sense suffices. A knowledge of the neurotic character structure makes the deductions based upon it strictly scientific and enables the analyst to conduct the analysis in an exact and responsible fashion. Nevertheless, because of the infinite individual variations in the structure, the analyst can sometimes proceed only by trial and error. #RandolphHarris 11 of 20

When I speak of error I do not refer to such gross mistakes as imputing motivations that are alien to the individual or a failure to grasp one’s essential neurotic drives. What I have in mind is the very common error of making interpretations that the individual is not yet ready to assimilate. While gross mistakes are avoidable, the error of making premature interpretations is and always will be unavoidable. We can, however, reach a more speedy recognition of such errors if we are extremely alter to the way in which an individual reacts to an interpretation and are guided accordingly. It seems to me that too much emphasis has been placed on the fact of the individual’s “resistance”—on one’s acceptance or rejection of an interpretation—and too little on exactly what one’s reaction signifies. This is unfortunate, because it is the kind of reaction in all its detail that indicates what has to be worked through before the individual will be ready to handle the problem the analyst has pointed out. However, in contrast, the response of others to the adept’s presence is curiously opposite in kind: with a few, the finer evolved, it is beautifully comforting, exalting, pacifying, and draws their interests to one. However, with many others it acts in reverse. One’s quiet ease puts them at ill-ease; one’s self-possession disturbs them. #RandolphHarris 12 of 20

Either an unpleasant sense of guilt insidiously enters their feelings or one of resentment arises against someone who seems quite unlike other people, and whom they cannot therefore meet on even ground, who arouses their suspicious as being probably a fanatical religious heretic. Jesus tells us in John 4.24 that we must “worship in spirit and in truth.” Worshipping “in truth” means that we come informed by the objective revelation of God’s Word about the great God we serve and the precepts He has spoken. In this sense our worship is governed by what we know and believe of God. The better informed we are, the better we can worship. If we know and have taken to the heart passages like Genesis 1, Psalm 139, Psalm 23, the Book of Job, John 7, John 17, Roman 1-3, Revelation 19—to name a few, the better equipped we will be to worship “in truth.” This knowledge of God through his Word ought to heighten our expectations and instill healthy fear and reverence. As Annie Dillard wrote: “One the whole, I do not find Christians, outside the Catacombs, sufficiently sensible of conditions. Does anyone have the foggiest idea what sort of power we so blithely invoke? Or as I suspect, does no one believe a word of it? It is madness to wear ladies’ straw hats and velvet hats to church; we should all be wearing helmets. #RandolphHarris 13 of 20

“Ushers should issue life preservers and signal flares; they should lash us to our pews. For the sleeping god may wake someday and take offense, or the waking god may draw us out to where we can never return.” People, we need to fill ourselves with God’s truth so our worship will be electrified with proper reality! Paul needed grace, but he also needed the thorn of his flesh. Like us, he was susceptible to the temptation of pride, and the thorn was given to check that temptation. In fact, the Greek text, the phrase translated in the New International Version “to keep me from becoming conceited” was repeated by Paul. The King James Version picks up this repetition with the following translation of verse 7: “And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.” As if to emphasize the need of the thorn, Paul twice stated the Lord’s purpose in giving it to him. It was to keep pride at bay. Paul was a humble man. He considered himself “less than the least of all God’s people” and the worst of sinners (Ephesians 3.8, 1 Timothy 1.15); yet he knew he was susceptible to pride, given the right circumstances. #RandolphHarris 14 of 20

And, if God has left Paul to himself, the surpassing greatness of the revelations given to him could have been the right circumstances. All of us are susceptible to pride. And pride stands in direct opposition to grace, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble,” reports James 4.6. Pride is often reflective of a self-righteous attitude. We begin to grow in the Christian life, and we see other believers who are not growing as we are. We are tempted to become proud of our spiritual growth. Or we see some Christians fall before temptation, and instead of being concerned, we become critical because of our own self-righteousness. When I heard a friend—who I considered to be very committed to Christ—was resigned from his Christian organization because he was divorcing his wife for another woman, I remember my reaction. I said to myself, How could he do such a thing? I would never do that. It seemed as if God spoke to me right then: “Oh, would you not? Do not be so confident in yourself.” I was sobered. I realized my “righteous indignation” and disappointment in my friend was accompanied by a sinful attitude of self-righteousness. Pride can manifest itself in very subtle ways. “And it came to pass that the Lord of the vineyard wept, and said unto the servant: What could I have done more for my vineyard? #RandolphHarris 15 of 20

“Behold, I knew that all the fruit of the vineyard, save it were these, had become corrupted. And now these which have once brought forth good fruit have also become corrupted; and now all the trees of my vineyard are good for nothing save it be to be hewn down and cast into the fire. And behold this last, whose branch hath withered away, I did plant in a good spot of ground; yea, even that which was choice unto me above all other parts of the land of my vineyard. And thou beheldest that I also cut down that which cumbered this spot of ground, that I might plant this tree in the stead thereof. And thou beheldest that part thereof brought forth wild fruit; and because I plucked not the branches thereof and cast them into the fire, behold, they have overcome the good branch that it hath withered away. And now, behold, notwithstanding all the care which we have taken of my vineyard, the trees thereof have become corrupted, that they bring forth no good fruit; and these I had hoped to preserve, to have laid up fruit thereof against the season, unto mine own self. However, behold, they have become like unto the wild olive tree, and they are of no worth but to be hewen down and cast into the fire; and it grieveth me that I should lose them. However, what could I have done more in my vineyard? Have I slackened mine hand, that I have not nourished it? #RandolphHarris 16 of 20

“Nay, I have nourished it, and I have digged about it, and I have pruned it, and ii have dunged it; and I have stretched forth mine hand almost all the day long, and the end draweth nigh. And it grieveth me that I should hew down all the trees of my vineyard, and cast them into the fire that they should be burned. Who is it that has corrupted my vineyard? And it came to pass that the servant said unto his master: Is it not the loftiness of thy vineyard—have not the branches thereof overcome the roots thereof, behold they grew faster than the strength of the roots, taking strength unto themselves. Behold, I say, is not this the cause that the trees of thy vineyard have become corrupted? And it came to pass that the Lord of the vineyard said unto the servant: Let us go to and hew down the trees of the vineyard and cast them into the fire, that they shall not cumber the ground of my vineyard, for I have done all. What could I have done more for my vineyard? However, behold, the servant said unto the Lord of the vineyard: Spare it a little longer. And the Lord said: Yea, I will spare it a little longer, for it grieveth me that I should lose the trees of my vineyard. Wherefore, let us take of the branches of these which I have planted in the nethermost parts of my vineyard, and let us graft them into the tree from whence they came. #RandolphHarris 17 of 20

“And let us pluck from the tree those branches whose fruit is most bitter, and graft in the natural branches of the tree in the stead thereof. And this will I do that the tree may not perish, that, perhaps, I may preserve unto myself the roots thereof for mine own purpose. And, behold, the roots of the natural branches of the tree which I planted whithersoever I would are yet alive; wherefore, that I may preserve them also for mine own purpose, I will take of the branches of this tree, and I will graft them in unto them. Yea, I will graft them in unto them. Yea, I will graft in unto them the branches of their mother tree, that I may preserve the roots also unto mine own self, that when they shall be sufficiently strong perhaps they may bring forth good fruit unto me, and I may yet have glory in fruit of my vineyard. And it came to pass that they took from the natural tree which had become wild, and grafted in unto the natural trees, which also had become wild. And they also took of the natural trees which had become wild, and grafted into their mother tree. And the Lord of the vineyard said unto the servant: Plucky not the wild branches from the trees, save it be those which are most bitter; and in them ye shall graft according to that which I have said. And we will nourish again the trees of the vineyard, and we will trim up the branches thereof; and we will pluck from the trees those branches which are ripened, that must perish, and cast them into the fire. #RandolphHarris 18 of 20

“And this I do that, perhaps, the roots thereof may take strength because of their goodness; and because of the change of their goodness; and because of the change of their branches, that the good may overcome the evil. And because that I have preserved the natural branches and the roots thereof, and that I have grafted in the natural branches again into their mother tree, and have preserved the roots of their mother tree, that, perhaps, the trees of my vineyard my bring forth again good fruit; and that I may have joy again in the fruit; and that I may have joy again in the fruit of my vineyard, and, perhaps, that I may rejoice exceedingly that I have preserved the roots and the branches of the first fruit—wherefore, go to, and call servants, that we may labour diligently with our might in the vineyard, that we may prepare the way, that I may bring forth again the natural fruit which natural fruit is good and the most precious above all other fruit,” reports Jacob 5.41-61. May Thy spotless Body be the means of my life, and Thy holy Blood of cleansing and remission of my sins. Heavenly Father, Thou hast revealed to me myself as a mass of sin, and Thyself as the fullness of goodness, with strength enough to succour me, wisdom enough to guide me, mercy enough to quicken me, love enough to satisfy me. #RandolphHarris 19 of 20

Thou hast shown me that because Thou art mine I can live by Thy life, be strong in Thy strength, be guided by Thy wisdom; and so I can pitch my thoughts and heart in Thee. This is the exchange of wonderful love—for me to have Thee for myself, and for Thee to have me, and to give me Thyself. There is in Thee all fullness of the good I need, and the fullness of all grace to draw me to Thyself, who, else, could never have come. However, having come, I must cleave to thee, be knit to thee, always seek thee. There is none all good as Thou art; with Thee I can live without other things, for Thou art God all-sufficient, and the glory, peace, rest, joy of the World is creaturely, perishing things in comparison with Thee. Help me to know that one who hopes for nothing but Thee, and for all things only for Thee, hopes truly, and that I must place all my happiness in holiness, if I hope to be filled with all grace. Convince me that I can have no peace at death, nor hope that I should go to Christ, unless I intend to do His will and have His fulness while I live. Thou hast given us, O Lord, sanctification by the Communion of the most holy Body and precious Blood of Thine Only-begotten Son; grant us the grace and gift of Thy Holy Spirit, and keep us unreproved in life, and lead us on to the perfect adoption and redemption, and the eternal joys to come. #RandolphHarris 20 of 20

MILLS STATION AT CRESLEIGH RANCH

Rancho Cordova, CA |

Now Selling!

Mills Station at Cresleigh Ranch is Rancho Cordova’s newest home community! This charming neighborhood offers an array of home types with eye catching architecture styles such as Mission, Mid-Century Modern, California Modern, and Contemporary Farmhouse.

Located off Douglas Road and Rancho Cordova Parkway, the residents of Cresleigh Ranch will enjoy, being just minutes from shopping, dining, and entertainment, and quick access to Highway 50 and Grant Line Road providing a direct route into Folsom. Residents here also benefit from no HOA fees, two community parks and the benefits of being a part of the highly-rated Elk Grove Unified School District. https://cresleigh.com/mills-station/residence-3/

Stumped on how to keep your kids entertained now that school is out? Check out today’s blog post for some fun, easy ideas for fun all summer long! 🌞 Link in bio. https://cresleigh.com/blog/

We thank Thee, loving Master, Benefactor of our souls, for having this say admitted us to Thy Heavenly and immortal Mysteries. Please Guide our path aright; establish us in Thy fear; please watch over our life; please make safe our goings.
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