He is in charge; he decides who gets to have him. He has not at all worked through what his mother did to him—he simply has a place where she is excluded, even though his unresolved issues with her provided the fuel needed to keep this place afloat. Listen, O Heavens, and I will speak: hear, O Earth, the words of my mouth. Let my teachings fall like rain and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender plants. I will proclaim the name of the LORD. Oh, praise the greatness of our God! He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he. They have acted corruptly toward him; to their shame they are no longer his children, but a warped and crooked generation. Is this the way you repay the LORD, O foolish people and unwise individuals? Is he not your Father, your Creator, who made you and formed you?   They scarified to demons, which are not God—goes they had not known, gods that recently appeared, gods your fathers did not fear. You deserted the Rock, who fathered you; you forgot the God who gave you birth. The LORD saw this and rejected them because he was angered by his sons and daughters. He said: I will hide my face from them and see what their end will be; for they are a perverse generation, children who are unfaithful. They made me jealous by what is no god and angered me with their worthless idols. I will make them envious by those who are not a people; I will make them angry by a nation that has no understanding.   

It is always some ridiculous manmade day in American, used to evoke feelings and make you feel unworthy and spend money or make you feel loving and spend money or make you feel like it is a good idea and get drunk at Purgatory and spend all your rent and light bill money on a cute little piece of white ass, or some big black booty. Someone tells you it is doughnut day and you run out and buy a doughnut and post it on social media.  Love is more than flowers, smiles, kisses, and spring breezes, and it is also the pine trees in Winter and the sparkles at night and the mutual hand-in-hand support in a trudge. As long as your scent is in my eyes, and a sincere poem is in my heart, our life is fraught with nectar and honey and coffee.  Someone has said change is just the meeting of two clouds, it will continue as long as we grasp chance well; our love will have a result as along as we value it. May the LORD bless this land and let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD rests between his shoulders. May precious dew from Heaven above and with the deep waters that lie below make the Earth green and healthy, with the best the Sun brings forth and the finest the moon can yield; with the choicest gifts of the ancient mountains. I hate the man in whom kindness produces no responsive affection, and injustice no swell, no glow of resentment.   Strong minds perceive that justice is the highest of the moral attributes; mercy is only the favorite of weak ones. Dear friends, do not ne surprised at the painful trail you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. However, rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the sinner?

It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.  Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the LORD is good.   All knowledge is dangerous. It matters not that the law prohibits teaching [slaved] to read, oral instruction is as dangerous as written; and the catechism is nothing but a Bible in disguise. The more knowledge a man has, the better he will do’s work; and feeling’s a sort o’ knowledge. Alves, submit yourselves to your master’s with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pan of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. However, how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? However, if you suffer from doing good and endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.   He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth. When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate.  By over focusing on the must in lust, eroticists cheapen sexual desire, stripping it much of its natural spontaneity and expansiveness, injecting it with compensatory fantasy. As such, eroticists are no more than a misuse of imagination. If we need to fantasize to have “good” sex, then we are not so much interested in sex as we are in mind games that primarily aim to maximize pleasurable sensation and release.

Sex does not require thought- and image-generating activities of mind in order to function well, and in fact will not flow fully and freely and lovingly if thoughts and fantasies are allowed to intrude into and dominate its domain. And what happens to eroticists when sex is no longer allowed to go to mind (or be conceptually engineered)? What becomes of it when we put the effort into facing and healing the very wounding that first drove us into it? What becomes of it when love is already present, and both lovers are already open, relaxed, and in deep communication? Eroticists then loses its mind and operational imperatives, becoming the playful expression of sexual desire and passion, its face that of longing—not a tense or ambitious or desperate longing, but a heartfelt open-eyed longing—a yearning to share our depths with our partner through sexplay that s as loving as it is alive, as joyously embodied as it is intimate, as subtle as it is powerful.  A good place in possession is better than one in expectation. The point is not to shame ourselves for being caught up in eroticitis, but to put as much energy as possible into facing and working through whatever underlies it. The more we keep what is unhealed in us in the dark, the more likely it will show up in our sex lives. Our unresolved wounds—and insufficiently met or badly handled needs—inevitably show up in our sexuality, however indirectly, often masquerading as a part of a healthy sexual life, the characteristic of which may be taken as nothing more than natural aspects of our sexuality. What is being acted out sexually then goes unseen, getting no more from us than an undiscerning greenlight. As such, sex does a double duty, on the one hand dramatizing what is unhealed in us, and on the other briefly taking the edge off it.  

As a boy, Ben Crawford (Ryan Phillippe) was heavily rejected by his mother, which led to him to assume he was worthless and have a charge (a compelling excitation, whether negative or positive) both with not feeling wanted and with wanting to be wanted. He grew up expecting and attracting rejection—and found plenty of it—as well as craving full acceptance. As a teen, he eroticized this charge, absorbing himself in masturbatory fantasies in which he was unquestionably wanted sexually, without any trace of rejection. This has continued into his adult years. His sexual fantasies are more elaborate, but are still basically all about him being surrounded by individuals who aches for him sexually, and would never reject him.   I have been setting down the structure and procedures for responding. In this has been the assumption of unquestioned responsiveness. Before turning to more specific expressions of pain, we need to step back and take a hard look at the personal demands confronting the person who would respond. Instead of looking outward, we are to look inward. While we ourselves are still the key, the inward look now serves a different purpose, namely, asking “Am I able to respond?” There are many people who reach their conclusions about life like school [children]: they cheat their master by copying the answer out of the book without having worked the sum out for themselves.