Randolph Harris II International Institute

Perceptions and assumptions can be very dangerous and unfair. There are some people who may fail to reach out with friendly smiles, warm handshakes, and kind words. Communication can alone create a great community. However, few in the Western World today would describe their surroundings as a community, let alone a great community. We are connected—yes. Joined together by the glow of the television screen, the blare of the car-radio stereo, the brush of arms as strangers sit next to each other in crowded movie theater. We are also connected by the self-esteem movement’s message, dispensed on daytime television, taught in schools, embedded in every popular entertainment. Ironically, what we seem to most want is to replicate our celebrities because there are universal experiences, feelings, emotions, and so you sense the commonality. At the same time each person’s stories have a little twist that makes their story individual. Yet, managers usually delve into the psyches of their performers, seeking to define personality and micro-manage behavior. And at the same time, people who admire celebrities want to be real, but they have no sense of what real experience might feel like because they have grown up or are now growing up cradled by popular culture and prefab fun, they are part of a World where real is relative, where everything is performance. #RandolphHarris 1 of 5

We may all be independent, but are we really free in a society where we can only commit to ourselves? One of the hardest thing for many to recognize is how truly strong they already are and how others silently respect them. People have great confidence in you. You do not need to compromise your standards to be accepted by good friends. The more obedient you are, the more you stand for true principles, the more the Lord can help you overcome temptation. You can also help others because they will feel your strength. Let them know about your standards by consistently living them. No one intends to make serious mistakes. They come when one compromises his or her standards to be more accepted by others. You be the strong one. You be the leader. Choose good friends and resist peer pressure together. Work at keeping your thoughts clean by thinking of something good. And above all, do not feed thoughts by reading or watching things that are wrong because sometimes people are tempted until they act them out. Sometimes people will not succeed—they will not right themselves—until they acknowledge the importance of their cultural legacy. We believe in being true. How very important it is to be true to ourselves. Each of us has a thing we call conscience. We know the difference between right and wrong. We know when we have done the right thing, ad experience a sense of happiness. #RandolphHarris 2 of 5

To be true to ourselves means being an example of righteous living in all situations and circumstances. Mitigated speech is any attempt to downplay or sugarcoat the meaning of what is being said. We mitigate when we are being polite, or when we are ashamed or embarrassed, or wen we are being deferential to authority. If you want your boss to do you a favor, you do not say, “I will need this by Monday.” You mitigate. You say, “Do not bother, if it is too much trouble, but if you have a chance to look at this over the weekend, that would be wonderful.” In a situation like that, mitigation is entirely appropriate. In urgent and dangerous situations, it can be a problem because people may not see the severity of what you are trying to communicate. In combatting mitigation, it is important to communicate clearly and assertively. It is okay to challenge people if you think something has or will go terribly awry. Still, we can strive for that spirited, light-hearted perspective that allows us to be thankful for the roller-coaster ride of existence. Adults who are willing to come out of themselves can find greater satisfaction in their relationships—with less conflict, better communication, and a stronger feeling of connection—than they did before. Many also report greater happiness overall. Be honest in your lives. Honesty is the best policy. “Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not covet” reports Exodus 20.15, 17. We must be true to ourselves in matters of personal virtue. #RandolphHarris 3 of 5

Every human interaction has the potential to being great joy or great pain, sometimes both at the same time. When we look back at our lives from the vantage point of a mature adult, we realize that our most vivid and meaningful memories are of other people and the way we felt when we were with them. The soul needs an intense, full-bodied spiritual life as much in the same way the body needs food. Most of us enter our later decades firm in the belief that relating to other people—emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually—is the most powerful solace we have in a beautiful but uncertain World. The soul needs spirit, but our spirituality also needs soul—deep intelligence, a sensitivity to the symbolic and metaphoric life, genuine community, and attachment to the World. Our strengths and weaknesses seem to manifest themselves most strongly when we are thrown into the emotional cauldron with someone else. The natural turning inward as we mature gives life deep self-awareness that necessitates renegotiation of some important relationships; the new perspective garnered may even portend the end of certain emotional attachments. No matter how convinced we are that the struggle to relate to others is worthwhile, it can be daunting to consider that we still have lessens to learn. We cannot afford to be tainted by moral sin. Take care to be as patient with yourself; the direct evidence of failure you get with other people may be more hurtful than the missteps you make while working on yourself. #RandolphHarris 4 of 5

The most exciting aspect of interpersonal work is how much just one little change can affect your relationship. Relish the feelings you get from being with others, from comforting them and being comforted by them. Be true to yourself and the best you have within you, and your respect for yourself will increase. Know that yours is a divine birthright. Cultivate a good opinion of yourself. Others may make cutting remarks concerning you. This is only a sign of their ignorance and not of your qualities. Increase your capacity to learn from others with the neglected art of listening. And be sure to share your joy with others who will appreciate it. How you feel about a situation is every bit as important as your understanding of that situation. What you say about what happens is only half a description unless you articulate your emotions as well. When are not operating as whole human beings unless we are willing to reveal our true feelings. It provides wonderful opportunities for socializing with those of your own kind. Our desire should be to be happy, and that your lives be challenging and satisfying, that we be saved from pitfalls falls of evil that could destroy us, and that we be kind to people. Only 7 percent of our impact on other people comes through the actual words we use to communicate; a vast 93 percent of the way others perceive us is based on our tone of voice, facial expression, and body language. Be sure to treat others gently, too; they are probably confused and feel like they are in a new terrain. #RandolphHarris 5 of 5

May 18, 2018 12:00 am

There are some among us who are unhappy with their lives because they have wanted to achieve a measure of greatness in this life, but now feel they have failed in some fundamental way. We have concern for those who have worked hard and who have lived righteously but think—because they have not achieved in the World or in the Church what others have achieved—that they have failed. Sixteen-year-old Rachel write: I want the thrill the happiness and the fun like I see in movies. I want to give people the joy of seeing me in movies like y movie heroes did with me!!! I figured out that I am tired of just dreaming about doing something, I am sick of looking for a regular job, I know that nothing but acting interests me, I feel life slipping by, and that something is missing feeling begins to dominate me all day and night. In that statement, Rachel reminds us that we are not talking in abstract here, but a lot of people have dreams, goals, and aspirations they feel are their birthright. We live in a World that seems to worship its own kind of greatness. And to become a celebrity, for example, and sell the most of one thing to as many people as possible, the system, much like other industries, must be exclusionary. Big money is made when a billion people are all interested in the same product. This is far more likely to occur wen those billion people have only five hundred highly successful stars, or other good and services to choose from. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6

 The tight control over access to creative product stifle dissent—aesthetic and political—along with the bulk of our generally mainstream aspirations. Visualization on physical vigor works by taking on the mental trappings of our goal, and we come closer to our goal. What is so exciting about emotions is when you come to know yourself well, you can use your thoughts to shape your emotions just as your emotions have shaped your thoughts. We also can experience a whole symphony of dominant and nondominant feelings at once. Being able to feel happy and sad, hopeful and despairing at the same time is the hallmark of mature emotional response. People who seem capable of this emotional dichotomy in their younger years are those who have undergone and overcome huge hurdles—war survivors, World-class athletes, people who as children suffered severe emotional hardship. This expansion in emotional capacity, coupled with our ability to trigger emotions through our behavior, gives us a chance to feel the way we choose to feel instead of being locked into some kind of emotional trap by the dictates of our brain chemistry. Realizing that we are one with all people, we affirm that there is a silent power flowing through us, which blesses and heals and prospers, makes happy and glad our pathway. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6

When we realize that the World is made up of people like ourselves, we bless the World and affirm that it shall come under the divine government of Good, under the divine providence of love, and under the divine leadership of the supreme intelligence. For this is God’s kingdom, and the power, and the glory are forever. Because we are being constantly exposed to the World’s definition of success and greatness, it is understandable that we might frequently find ourselves making comparisons between what we are and what others are, or seem to be, and also between what we have and what others have. Although it is true that making comparisons can be beneficial and may motivate us to accomplish much good and improve our lives, yet we often allow unfair and improper comparisons to destroy our happiness when they cause us to feel unfulfilled or inadequate or unsuccessful. There are people who believe that all organized competition is lame.  Whatever one’s belief is, we have to learn the value of continuing in righteousness. Increasing our ability to regulate our emotions and choose which ones will dominate our experience is a prize of maturity well worth earning. A little practice in manipulating our own biochemistry will help us immeasurably in balancing the pleasure and pain that are part of life. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6

Imagine being ale to distance yourself enough from your feelings of fury and betrayal to come up with a solution that is practical and emotionally satisfying. Sometimes we give in to the overwhelming evidence that the World is confusing, and that things do not always (or often) go our way, that we are just one little piece of the human pie. Most of us find we can give our concerns a kind of hierarchy: having a healthy family is more important than having a healthy bank account. We may also find ourselves more capable of taking disappointments in stride, and more willing to try new approaches to the way we run our lives. Some of us, however—especially those of us who have had to work very hard to make things go our way—have a difficult time letting go of the adolescent and young-adult tendency to hone in on areas of emotional turmoil. In other words, we take life too seriously, especially when it comes to issues involving strong emotional content—like a spouse’s infidelity. Life’s journey is not traveled on a highway devoid of obstacles, pitfalls, and snares. Rather, it is a pathway marked by challenges and perseverance. Decisions are constantly before us. To make them wisely, courage is needed: the courage to say no, the courage to say yes. Decisions do determine destiny. The call for courage comes constantly to each of us. It has ever been so, and so shall it ever be. The battlefields of war witness acts of courage. Some are printed on pages of books or contained on rolls of film, while others are indelibly impressed on the human heart. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6

There are powerful forces in our lives much like the unseen currents of the ocean. These forces are real. We should never ignore them. Humor, like anything else, can be taken too far. Laughing off what bothers you can also be a way of denying your most troubling feelings. They key is to use humor as a tool for gaining perspective, not as a crutch. The other limitation of humor is that for people just learning to use humor as a perspective enhancer, certain situations do not seem to lend themselves to laughs, or even irony. Dr. Freud believed that the ability to create humor from our lives was one of the best ways people could triumph over tragedy. This has lead to people in modern times using sordid events—such as massacres, natural disasters, plane crashes, and like life—as fodder for the Monday-morning joke at the office (“Have you heard the one about…”) is a good example of how humor can help us cope with situations too terrible for us to fully comprehend. However, it is much wiser and better for people to accept the simple truths of the gospel and to accept by faith those things which one cannot understand. There are many currents in this Earthly life—some safe and others not. Mature adults, whose sense of self is typically much stronger than in earlier years, tend to be more secure, less likely to use humor to attack or manipulate than they may have in the past. Their senses of humor are fun-loving, principled, and self-deprecating rather than biting and hostile toward others. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6

If anyone has a lack of wisdom, ask of God, who gives to all people literally, and it shall be given to you. By asking sincere questions and by seeking divine answers, we learn as we increase in knowledge and wisdom, there is a divine source—one who knows all things, the end from the beginning. All things are present before God. The scriptures testify that God does not walk in crooked paths, neither does he vary from that which he has said. On this mortal journey we must never think that our choices affect only us. All-Ruler, Word of the Father, God, thou who art perfect, never in your great mercy leave us, but abide in us. Deliver us not to the revolt of the serpent and leave us not to the will of the adversary, do not let the seed of corruption rest in us. Lord, adorable God, Holy King, guard us asleep by the unwaning light, your holy spirit, by whom you did sanctify your disciples. Lord, grant us, your salvation on our beds. Enlighten our minds with the light of the understanding of your holy gospel. Enlighten our souls with your love. Enlighten our hearts with the purity of your word. Enlighten our bodies with your passionless passion. Keep our thoughts in your humility. And rouse us in good time to glorify you, for you art supremely glorified, with your eternal life, and your most holy spirit forever. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6

May 16, 2018 10:33 pm

We want to believe that we are not prisoners of our ethnic histories. Resistance creates both the opposition and the forward movement in life. Friction, or resistance, is an interesting phenomenon. Without this force, a person or vehicle could not move about, or if already in motion, could not be stopped except by collision. The law of friction or resistance that we think of as only applying to science seems to find application in our personal lives. The afflictions and sorrows that have or will come to us because of the competitive World we live in will ultimately result in good. “Thou knowest the greatness of God; and he shall consecrate thine affliction for thy gain,” reports 2 Nephi 2.2. Many people endure hardship pursuing their dreams. In the United States, some 37,500 cinema screens feature about 500 movies a year: 500 movies a year for a population of 325 million people. The average cost of making and marketing each movie is around $89 million. China has adopted a Western-style idealization of fame. China’s best-known movie directors now have 20-something young girls who have become famous overnight. The power of those role models is boundless. When Zhang Yimou held a star search contest for the leading role in his next film, a staggering one hundred thousand hopefuls turned up for the audition. However, in China, just as in Hollywood, the star machine mostly churns out broken dreams. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6

There was one hopeful, a nineteen-year-old girl who had been eating just one meal a day to save money to get to Beijing for the audition. Upon arrival she discovered that her application had been rejected, and she never even got to try out for the part. Still, society’s ever-more-powerful need to be seen and heard through mass culture means that we can accept any degradation of our culture, so long as it continues to promise us access. We will accept any lowering of standards, any perversions of information into entertainment, any invasion of our private mental space, so long as it seems that pop culture is on the verge of giving us what we have been promised: recognition. Pop star popularity is traded like virtual stock, with an artist’s shares going up or down in value as his or her popularity index crests and wanes. We came to mortal life to encounter resistance. It was part of the plan for our eternal progress. Without temptation, sickness, pain, and sorrow, there could be no goodness, virtue, appreciation for the well-being, or joy. The law of opposition makes freedom of choice possible; therefore, our Heavenly Father has commanded his children to choose God this day, and serve the Lord God who made you. As we look back in retrospect, we see that it was because of the opposition encountered in our early history that our progress has been made possible. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6

Many years ago, the southern newspaperman Hodding Carter reported on how as a young man he served on a jury. The case before the jury involved an irascible gentleman who lived next door to a filling station. For several months he has been the subject of various jokes played by the attendants and the miscellaneous loafers who hung around the station, despite his warnings and his notorious short temper. One morning, he emptied both barrels of his shotgun at his tormentors, killing one, maiming another permanently, and wounding a third. When the jury was polled by the incredulous judge, Hodding Carter was the only juror who recorded his vote as guilt. As one of the others put it, “He wouldn’t of been much of a man if he hadn’t shot them fellows.” Only in a culture of honor would it have occurred to the irascible gentleman that shooting someone was an appropriate response to a personal insult. And only in a culture of honor would it have occurred to a jury that murder—under those circumstances—was not a crime. The reason is that allowing someone to disrespect you and suffering in pain would ordinarily produce behaviors that would hurt your chances for survival, not help them. Out of that caldron of persecution and heartache, the Lord answered many soul-cries. And if you endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6

There is some truth to the idea that when we love and hate we do so in a rush of neurochemicals that flow through our entire systems. If you want to understand what happened in those small towns in Kentucky in the nineteenth century, you have to go back into the past—and not just one or two generations. You have to go back two or three or four hundred years, to a country on the other side of the ocean, and look closely at what exactly the people in a very specific geographic area of that country did for a living. Cultural legacies are powerful forces. They have deep roots and long lives. They persist, generation after generation, virtually intact, even as the economic and social demographic condition that spawned them have vanished, and they play such a role in directing our attitudes and behavior that we cannot make sense of our World without them. Groups of people living in circumstances pretty similar to their ancestors’ act a lot like their ancestors. Once a chemical is released by one cell and received by another, the process sparks an electrical impulse in the receptor neuron, and the whole sequence is repeated until it culminates in a feeling. Scientists have not only linked certain brain chemicals to certain feelings, they have also determined that brain cells are specialized to such an extent that they send and receive only certain of these mood-producing chemicals. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6

People from the northern part of the United States, when they have been insulted, usually treat the incident with amusement. They laugh it off. Their handshakes are unchanged. And their levels of cortisol usually go down, as if they are unconsciously trying to defuse their only anger. However, when you insult a southerner, they get angry because it is a culture of honor and words and actions and reputations are extremely important. Their cortisol and testosterone levels elevate. Their handshakes get more firm. And they tend to become more offensive. What we are seeing is the culture of honor in action: the southerners react like Wix Howard did when Little Bob Turner accused him of cheating at poker. Even though, many generations later, these southerners might me in the middle-class or wealthy, they still have a strong urge to demand the respect they are due. Northerners tend to give off displays of anger, up to a certain point, at which they level off. However, southerners are much less likely to be angry early on. Yet, at some point they catch up to the northerners and shoot past them. They are more likely to explode, much more volatile, much more explosive. How are these kinds of attitudes passed down from generation to generation? Through social heritance. The same way as accents persist over time.  #RandolphHarris 5 of 6

Whatever mechanism passes on speech patterns probably passes on behavioral and emotional patterns are well. Our brains do not receive only one chemical bath. Each emotion is instead accompanied by a kind of biochemical cocktail. When, for example, your body gets a dose of the stress hormone ACTH (which triggers anger and fear in response to a perceived threat), it also gets a rush of what are called beta endorphins. Endorphins, the mood-elevating and pain-buffering opiates of the brain, are one thousand times more potent than their synthetic cousin morphine. So when your body is folded with the chemicals of fear and rage, it has also flooded itself with the biochemical ingredients of pain relief and euphoria. It is clear that endorphins can serve as a window into our evolutionary past. In the past is a World most of us are lucky enough never to have encountered, and environment in which we must fear a host of natural predators that could kills us at any moment. What would you do to protect yourself and survive? People from the south adopted a culture of honor. People in the north typically did not endure conditions as harsh. “If you are called to pass through tribulation, know that all these things shall give you experience, and will be good for you,” report Doctrines and Covenants 122:5,7. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6

May 15, 2018 11:39 pm

Their World—their culture and generation and family history—gave them the greatest of opportunities. How we feel affects almost every single decision we make during the day. We all experience hardship during which we need the reassurance of the spirit. Some people’s lives are negatively impacted by low self-esteem. There was a young man who wanted to go to college and become an artist, even though he was failing high school. He was afraid of trying, because he was afraid he would not succeed. With that revelation in hand, the young man goes on to pursue his dream. The conditions on which we can receive that supernal blessing are made clear in the words that are spoken every day, but perhaps do not always sink into our hearts and minds. To have the spirit sent to us, we must always remember the Savior and keep his commandments. There are three essentials for good self-esteem: Stop blaming others for your problems; start setting realistic goals; and start seeking beneficial influences. It is not easy, but it is possible. “I can do all things through God who strengthens me,” reports Philippians 4.13. Many therapists are trying to converge us to the ideals of self-reliance, reinvention, and individuality. And this inevitably puts the burden on our shoulders: your problems, yourself, your needs. What can you do to make your life better? #RandolphHarris 1 of 9

The focus is turned away from the system and how it works, and aimed back at the individual: Oh, you are not the movie star you wanted to be? Well, honey, you just did not try hard enough. You are not the young rebel who bucks the system and earns a pay raise and a big corner office? Well—your self-esteem quotient is lobe, others can sense the limitations of your aura, your image needs an update. Jennifer, a lawyer, stood in her office, dumfounded. Her boss, a pretty sensitive man, had just told her she was not going to get the raise she expected. Tears burning behind her eyes, Jennifer found the words to ask why. “I do not like your attitude. We will she how things look in another three months,” her boss replied. As Jenifer made her way home, she was really stressed out. “I was really counting on that raise. Is he just being cheap? Do I have an attitude problem? Gosh, if I get fired, it is going to look awful.” After months of stress and low self-esteem, Jennifer decided to give her boss what he wanted—attention—even though it cut into the time she needed to do her job well. She smiled at him all the time, showed empathy when he told her his troubles, and when he was not around, she did her work. After three months he told her that her attitude had improved tremendously, and have her a raise. #RandolphHarris 2 of 9

The self-esteem industry places the emphasis on you, your desires, needs, expectations, sacrifices, willingness to work hard. This not only encourages us to consider ourselves capable of changing and taking control of our lives, but discourages any examination of the overall system in which we live our lives. By failing to present anything even remotely like a realistic picture of the chances of success, self-esteem mythology teaches us to internalize failures and limitations, and conditions us to accept lives of disappointment and regret. When we believe in self-esteem mantra, we believe that we are always the source of our failures. Though our lives are steeped in a promise of success that is not always based on self-esteem, hard work, and talent as we are told, and when we take this promise literally, we feel our inability to become whatever we have set our sights on as our fault, our failure. God has repeatedly said he would structure mortality to be a proving and testing experience. Hence, enduring is vital, and those who so last will be first spiritually! There are so many things to be endured: infirmary, injustice, insensitivity, poverty, aloneness, unresponsiveness, being misrepresented and misunderstood, and, sometimes, even enemies. #RandolphHarris 3 of 9

We tend to think only in terms of our endurance, but it is God’s patient long-suffering which provides us with our chances to improve, affording us urgently needed developmental space or time. However, because so many people preach, once you overcome your self-esteem deficit, you can do anything you want. And once you have self-esteem, you too will have your own book, TV show, and speaking gigs. You will be super-special, an entertainment vector complete wit name, niche, style, and corporate sponsor. An alien visitor surveying our culture and seeing how there is a lack of affordable housing, how hard it is to obtain a higher education depending on your demographics and lifestyle, the overpopulation causing too much traffic, and the high crime rates might well conclude that it is a lack of self-esteem that plagues North American more than any other problem—more than cancer and heart disease, more than severe inequities in the distribution of wealthy and resources, more than injustice and discrimination. Yet, if certain mortal experiences were cut short, it would be like pulling up a flower to see how the roots are doing. Put it another way, too many anxious openings of the oven door, and the cake falls instead of rising. Moreover, enforced change usually does not last, while productive enduring can ingrain permanent change. #RandolphHarris 4 of 9

The American Dream kind of started in the 19^th century, when America was a population building and developing nation. For instance, a Russian tailor artisan came to America, takes to the needle trade, works in a sweat shop for a small salary. Later takes garments to finish at home with the help of his wife and other children. In order to increase his salary, he works through the night. Later he makes a garment and sells it on New York street. He accumulates some capitol and goes into business venture with his sons. They open a shop to create men’s garments. The Russian tailor and his sons become men’s suit manufacture supplying several men’s stores. The sons and the father become prosperous. The sons’ children become educated professionals. Therefore, the success stories started when the population was low and they were able to build generations of wealth by keeping money in the family. A similar situation also happened in more modern times whereas gangster made money, then squared up, moved to the suburbs and sent their children to school so they could get an education and make money without doing back breaking labor. That way they would not have to worry about how they would be able to pay their bills, nor would they be working in sweat shops to support themselves. It is a literate and intellectual culture. With their education, they could work for a corporation and have a pension, paid time off, and a climate-controlled office to work in. #RandolphHarris 5 of 9

Success is not a random act. It arises out of a predictable and powerful set of circumstances ad opportunities. And while self-esteem matter, it is not the sole basis for success. For example, no one rises to the top of the New York legal profession unless he or she is smart and ambitious and hard working. To get hired at Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen and Katz in the prestigious office building known as Black Rock, it takes a small miracle. Unlike New York’s other major law firms, all which have hundred of attorneys scattered around the major capitols of the World, it operates only out of that single Manhattan building. They specialize in general practice, have 260 attorneys, revenue of $580 million, and turns down much more business than it accepts. And unlike every one of its competitors, Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen and Katz does not bill by the hour. It simply names a fee. Once, while defending Kmart against takeover, the firm billed $20 million for two weeks work. Kmart paid—happily. If its attorneys do not outsmart you, they will outwork you, and if they cannot outwork you, they will win through sheer intimidation. There is no firm in the World that has made more money, lawyer for lawyer over the past two decades. They have a track record of original and groundbreaking solutions and innovations that have had a dramatic impact on business and law. They are leaders in legal matters. #RandolphHarris 6 of 9

Patient endurance is to be distinguished from merely being acted upon. Endurance is more than pacing up and down within the cell of our circumstance; it is not only acceptance of the things allotted to us, it is to act for ourselves by magnifying what is allotted to us. If, for instance, we are always taking our temperature to see if we are happy, we will not be. If we are constantly comparing to see if things are fair, we are not only being unrealistic, we are being unfair to ourselves. Well-adjusted in our society means atomized, solitary, on your own, and able to handle the burdens of being on your own. People should be about to project security and confidence through the appropriate articulations of the soul. However, so many people are buying into the power of self-esteem, and few seem to be happier for it. Rates of depression, stress anxiety, and suicide continue to climb. Suicide is the 10^th leading cause of death for Americans. It is estimated the 90 percent of suicides suffer from depression. It was found that 35 million Americans suffer from depression severe enough to require medical treatment. The Western Word is plagued by depression. It is estimated that by 2020 depression will be the leading cause of disability in developed nations and the second leading cause Worldwide. #RandolphHarris 7 of 9

We put to much on a person when we tell them by changing who you are, the World will change, too, instead of actually taking an interest in them and sincerely trying to help them work through there problems. Tell a person they have to change in order to be accepted makes people feel like freaks inside, as if they are not loveable. It is also important to set reasonable goals and keep faith in God. Have you ever noticed when you really listen to a person and try to comfort them their response to it is automatic—eyes light up, ears perk, heart beats harder; and here comes the excitement; here comes something that makes life worth living. Therefore, true enduring represents not merely the passage of time, but the passage of the soul—and not merely from A to B, but sometimes all the way from A to Z. To endure in faith and does God’s will. Therefore, involves much more than putting up with a circumstance. Sometimes spiritual obedience requires us to hold on lovingly. Emotionally mature people take autonomic stress responses as a sign that their feelings must be dealt with. They allow themselves to experience the feelings fully, even if they are painful. Only at this point can they follow the natural propulsion toward rational thought that leads to appropriate action (or inaction). Neglecting to feel the hurt fully leads to the kind of inappropriate action—pretending nothing has happened will only make one more unhappy. #RandolphHarris 8 of 9

We often need the process of time in order to come to our spiritual senses.  Feelings always manage to find a way out. You know that already: tension headaches, insomnia, mild depression, and upset stomach have plagued all of us at one time or another. Denied emotions even prompt our bodies to respond as though threatened. In the absence of some kind of physical release or stress management technique, your body remains all dressed up with nowhere to go, stuck in a state of internal alarm. Recent medical studies show that seventy percent of people who feel unwell enough to call their physicians are suffering from some type of unresolved emotional distress. We also pay a price for squelching our natural responses to pleasurable emotions. Few of us are rewarded in societal terms for fully expressing joy. Life can be so empty without joy. The empty-life syndrome may lead to severe depression, or addiction to alcohol or cocaine or other drugs. Cognitive psychologist have recently hypothesized that the capacity to take pleasure in people, activities, and things is primary factor in overcoming addiction. We are daily guided by the divine spirit, and if there is anything in it that does not belong, it is cast out because there is one perfect life in one now. Be guided by divine intelligence in love, in joy, and in complete self-expression. #RandolphHarris 9 of 9

May 14, 2018 12:07 am

Emotionally healthy adults are capable of experiencing true joy despite the bad thins that might happen to them. After half a lifetime, most of us catch on to the idea that some days things work and some days they do not, regardless of how hard we try. We lose the grandiosity of youth that says we can and must be the force at the center of life. At some time in your life, you have probably experienced the pangs of homesickness. It might have been those first times you stayed overnight with a friend or went on a sleepover As much as you wanted to be with your friends, you might have been lonely for your parents and for the secure feeling of being home, where is was safe and comfortable. Sustained homesickness might not have come until later—when you left for college or moved to a new state to buy a house. And you might have found yourself struggling to adapt to new surroundings and maybe even new relatives. During these periods of adjustment and absence, you perhaps felt unsettled, lonely, and perhaps a deep yearning for home. If we do our emotional homework, our feelings can continue to be a source of great excitement, as they were in our teens, and young adulthood, but they can also cease to burden us the way they did when we were young. They may even bring us happiness. #RandolphHarris 1 of 9

It is the very nature of emotions to get tangled up. A feeling as basic as love can be tied to trust, respect, support, understanding and more. Sometimes our intense yearnings can cause poor performance, a waste of time, lack of concentration, and a dislike for our present disposition. The World changes that have taken place in the last century have increased the need for emotional support systems, yet we have not as a culture developed any new ways for keeping up with the pace and intensity of our emotions. Increasing numbers of psychologist and psychiatrists agree that the complexities of modern life, and our culture’s devaluation of feelings, may necessitate an emotional revolution. Only rare individuals ascend to adulthood in full harmony with their innermost feelings. Most of us reach the prime of our lives burdened by unresolved feelings from childhood and unaware of the bounty unadulterated feelings can provide. Our expectations are raised, but the World we live in—the World we made!—is unable to fulfill what our own popular culture promises us. Bloated on promise, starving for opportunity, a good chunk of us search for a way into the popular World. Our culture has become separate from us. In the struggle to renew our claim to our own fantasies, we seem to be moving further and further from ourselves. #RandolphHarris 2 of 9

People do not always get discovered because of their talent. There are lots of talented people in the World; some make it, some do not. You have to work hard, and you have to work smart. And most important is to have originality and genuine talent. In 1889, Louis and Regina Borgenicht boarded an ocean liner in Hamburg, Germany for America. They knew one person in American and had enough money to last a few weeks. Like so many other immigrants to America in those years, theirs was a leap of faith. Louis and Regina found a tiny apartment on Eldridge Street, on Manhattan’s Lower East Side, for $8 a month. Louis then took to the streets to look for work. The answer came to him after give long days of walking up and down the street of the Lower East Side, just as he was about to give up hope. It was clothes. Everywhere around him stores were opening—suits, dresses, overalls, shirts, skirts, blouses, trousers, all made and ready to be worn. Coming from a World where clothing was sewn at home by hand or made to order by tailors, this was a revelation. Louis and Regina looked for a novel, something that people would wear that was not being sold in stores. #RandolphHarris 3 of 9

For four more days Louis walked the streets. On the evening of the final day as he walked toward home, he saw a half dozen girls playing hopscotch. One of the girls was wearing a tiny embroidered apron over her dress, cut low in the front with a tie in the back, and it struck him, suddenly, that in his previous days of relentlessly inventorying the clothing shops of the Lower East Side, he had never seen one of those aprons for sale. Regina has an ancient sewing machine they have bought on their arrival in America. The next morning Louis went to a dry-goods store on Hester Street and bought a hundred yards of gingham and fifty yards of white crossbar. He came back to their apartment and laid the goods out on the dining room table. Regina began to cut the gingham—small sizes for toddlers, larger for small children—until she had forty aprons. The next morning, Louis gathered them up over his arm and ventured out onto Hester Street. By one o’clock they were all gone. Eventually Louis and Regina went on to be a prosperous manufacturer of women’s and children’s clothing. The rewards of emotional vitality are so many and so far-reaching. Take advantage of the rewards along this path; you need the confidence and outlook that come after spending a few years on the planet to make the most of the discoveries found here. #RandolphHarris 4 of 9

You can free yourself from the tyranny of depression, rage, and free-floating anxiety—those unwanted visitors that have drained your energy and zest for life. Autonomy, complexity, and a connection between effort and reward are three qualities that work has to have if it is to be satisfying. It is not always about how much money we make that ultimately makes us happy between nine and fives. It is whether our work fulfills us. If you were offered a choice between being an architect for $75,000 a year and working in a tollbooth every day for the rest of your life for $100,0000 a year, which would you take? Most people would choose the job as an architect because there is complexity, autonomy, and a relationship between effort and reward in doing creative work, and that is worth more to most of us than money. Work that fulfills us is meaningful. Being a teacher is meaningful. Being a physician is meaningful. So is being an entrepreneur. Even when people are penniless and desperate, and they know their career is going to require years of backbreaking labor, they are ecstatic, because the prospect of those endless years of hard labor does not seem like a burden to them. Bill Gates had the same feeling when he first sat down at the keyboard at Lakeside. And the Beatles did not recoil in horror when they were told they have to play eight hours a night, seven days a week. They jumped at the chance. #RandolphHarris 5 of 9

Hard work is a prison sentence only if it does not have meaning. Once it does, it becomes the kind of thing brings you joy. If you work hard enough and assert yourself, and use your mind and imagination, you can shape the World to your desires and imagine the example you are setting for your kids. In those homes were meaningful work is practiced, imagine what it is like for the children to watch the meteoric rise of their parents. People who are willing to do the work of getting in touch with what matters to the heart report huge gains in mental clarity, physical energy, interpersonal communication, and spiritual readiness. Best of all, they report they have a better sense than ever of who they are and how to present that self to the World. Learning to command new, more constructive emotional responses to disturbing situations does not happen overnight. You cannot hope to erase years of habit in one sitting. If you become comfortable with the hurt, angry, fearful innocence within yourself, you will be able to accept yourself as you really are, not just how others see you or how you want to see yourself. #RandolphHarris 6 of 9

Not just children, but all of us will want to think of home under joyous or trying circumstances. We let ourselves become homesick for love, acceptance, security, understanding, and guidance that generally are taught and shared there. Home should be the place in which a person can unburden one’s soul and find renewed strength to face the World, where there is comfort, joy, and understanding, where best friends can live, and where we can learn to be our best selves. There is a certain kind of yearning for home we should never want to lose. Home should be an anchor, a port in a storm, a refuge, a happy place in which to dwell, a place where we are loved and where we can love. Home should be where life’s greatest lessons are taught and learned. Home and family can be the center of one’s Earthly faith, where love and mutual responsibility are appropriately blended. Thinking of home with its pleasant and happy memories can make us stronger during our present and future days here upon the Earth. To go back to the land that nourished us and built character in us and provided us the sacred beginning of a life devoted to God, family, career, and country is truly love. Our responsibilities are to share the warmth of our homes by being god neighbors and friends. #RandolphHarris 7 of 9

To know who we are is important, but to know where we are in relationship to our Earthly home and Heavenly home is essential if we are to receive all the blessings our Father in Heaven has for those who love him and keep his commandments. Our eternal home is our ultimate destination. A proper yearning for home can prevents our getting lost in detours or paths that lead us away. We have all felt the heartache and longing for opportunities that, at least for a time, were beyond our reach. However, we are literally the children of our Heavenly father. Almighty Lord, God of the powers and the flesh, who lives in the highest and cares for the humble, who searches our hearts and affections, and clearly foreknows the secrets of people; eternal and everliving light, in whom is no change nr shadow of variation; immortal king, receive our prayers which at the present time we offer from our understanding, trusting the multitude of your mercies. Forgive all sins committed by us in thought, word or deed, consciously or unconsciously, and cleanse us from all defilement of flesh and spirit. Grant us to pass the night of the whole present life with wakeful heart and sober thought, ever expecting the radiant day of the appearing of the Savior, when the judge of all will come with glory to render to each according to their deeds. #RandolphHarris 8 of 9

 May we not be found fallen and idle, but awake and alert and ready for action, ready to accompany him into the joy and divine palace of his glory, where there is the ceaseless sound of those keeping festival and the unspeakable delight of those who behold the ineffable beauty of your face. For you are true light that enlightens and sanctifies all, and all creation sin to you throughout the ages. When we have a yearning and do not know what it is for, perhaps it is our soul longing for its heartland, longing to be no longer alienated from the Lord and the pursuit of something much higher, and more fulfilling than anything this Earth has to offer. May our yearning for home be the motivation we need to so live that we can return to our Heavenly home with God our Father on a forever basis. May our hearts be filled with gratitude for the Lord for his divine intervention to relieve the suffering, heal the sick, and resurrection. The soul shall be restored to the body, and the body to the soul and then shall the righteous shine forth in the kingdom of God. #RandolphHarris 9 of 9

May 13, 2018 12:44 am

The state of our health affects every facet of our life—our feeling of personal well-being, our approach to work, our social interactions—even our service to the Lord. Some people do not feel like themselves unless they have huge reserves of energy, strength, and physical resilience at their disposal. For these individuals, physical vigor is a hard-won way of life, one that they treasure. Although physical ills are a reality of life, in spite of them we should still have joy. The Lord has affirmed this statement by providing us with revealed instructions concerning our health, which, if followed, will increase both the length of our life and the joy in it. Much of what upsets you can be fixed or improved upon; current research on biological aging is very encouraging. Also, the physical component of our journey is intricately connected to all the other components. Our mind, emotions, and relationships cannot be at their peak if our body is not functioning at its best. The Lord specifics both substances that are for our use and those which are detrimental to us. Scientific research has verified the harmful effects of alcohol and drugs—even upon the development of an unborn child. We have been warned both by our prophets and by science of the dangers in the improper and indiscriminate use of drugs, including over-the-counter drugs. Helpful as these remedies are in times if illness, some contain ingredients that if used to excess or in combination with other substances can have dangerous side effects—even dependency or addiction. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6

Each and every manifestation of popular culture purports to be telling a story of how the individual transcends obstacles and the masses to earn recognition, success, and happiness. Though the plot may be about a sultry maid from the wrong side of the tracks working for a repressed rich guy, the story is really concerned with how all of us ordinary people can transcend our limitations; the story is really how you feel, work, live, and love. Teenagers now often attach more importance to the World of commercial popular culture and peer relationships than they do to their family and health. The rewards along the pathway of physical vigor are available to novices as well as experts in the physical arena. Tailor your travels to suit your pace and needs. The measure of your success is how happy you are with the way you feel, look, and perform physically. Most important, is your body willing and able to take you where you want to go? If you are already in terrific shape, do not make the mistake of assuming you have nothing to gain by going down the path of physical vigor. There is more to the physical side of you than simply being in great shape. Life offers all of us the opportunity to enrich our physical experience by becoming more attuned to the unique ways our bodies express their needs. Furthermore, by giving yourself more peak physical experiences, you put yourself on the road to greater mental, emotional, and spiritual rewards. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6

Some people are waiting for their status to be elevated when the rich and powerful recognize how really special they truly are. However, money does not matter; what is inside you is what counts; we are all important in our own special way. The Lord might be making us aware of another law of health—the need of proper exercise. Exercise such as walking and running and other forms of rhythmic action is important in maintaining cardiovascular fitness. In our busy lives sometimes we are prone to excuse ourselves for not getting proper exercise by saying that we have neither the time nor the opportunity. However, it may help to think about the amazing things your body has already done for you. Remind yourself that even the smallest change in how you treat your body can make a difference in the way you look and feel.  We are also counseled to retire early, that we may not be weary and arise early that our bodies and minds may be invigorated. We should also keep our hands clean, the surfaces in our house clean and thing orderly. People who take good care of their bodies and homes and follow a healthy life style, research indicated that it could increase the life of a forty-five-year-old man by 33 years! The results of this research have been replicated many times over, so you can be confident that living a balanced, healthy lifestyle can add decades of well-being and vigor to your adult life. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6

We should be grateful that scientific research and medical practice have resulted in longer life spans, greater health and vitality, and reduction in deaths among babies and small children. One of the touching parts of our past history is the great longing mothers and fathers felt for something to help their sick children get well. Today, immunization against disease is a great blessing. Some of the most hazardous diseases are now almost totally under control because of immunization. With the demise of breakfast comes a decline in energy and a slight weight gain. It is important to find breakfast food you enjoy because it will help you revive your stamina, and increase metabolism, and burn calories. These lofty goals remain a motivating force of all who are involved in this great work. There are some important things to know about aging and the body so we can perhaps counteract some of the issues. The average American loses 6.6 pound of muscle each decade after young adulthood. Without regular exercise to increase muscle-to-fat ratio, the rate of loss accelerates after age forty-five. Without regular exercise, the body’s ability to use oxygen efficiently after age sixty-five will decline an average of 30 to 40 percent. Blood pressure increases steadily with age for most Americans, primarily because of the consumption of fat, salt, and alcohol; smoking; and insufficient exercise. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6

The skeletal system loses calcium with age, making bones less dense, weaker, and more brittle. A brisk daily walk can prevent development of osteoporosis. Improving muscle-to-fat ratio and muscle strength also spurs the body to improve blood sugar tolerance, regulate and stabilize its internal temperature, maintain healthier blood pressure levels, and increase its aerobic capacity, because you have more working muscles consuming oxygen. Even more amazing is the finding that adults who exercise their muscles on a regular basis report psychological benefits, such as an increased sense of well-being, youthful vigor, and self-esteem. Some parents even teach their children to come up with questions to ask the doctor when they are going for a check-up. This helps the child gain the doctor’s full attention. It also teaches children that they have a right to speak up, even when they are in a room with an older person and authority figure, it is seen as being perfectly all right for child to assert oneself. In doing so, the child learns to shift the balance of power away from the adults and towards themselves. That way children get used to being treated with respect. They learn that they are special people worthy of adult attention and interest. Socializing is an important part aspect of the church program. People are encouraged the cultivation of friends with happy conversations among our people. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6

Everyone of us has times when we need to know things will get better. We have hope for a better World. For our emotional health and spiritual stamina, everyone needs to be able to look forward to some respite, to something pleasant and renewing and hopeful, whether that blessing be near at hand or still some distance ahead. It is enough just to know we can get there, that however measured or far away, there is the promise of good things to come. There is help. There is happiness. There really is light at the end of the tunnel. It is the light of the World, the Bright and Morning Star, the light that is endless, that can never be darkened. It is the return of hope. To any who may be struggling to see that light and find that hope, hold on. God loves you. Things will improve. There is a future of better promises. Even if you cannot always see that silver lining on your clouds, God can, for he is the very source of light you seek. God does love you, and he knows your fears. God hears your prayers. He is your Heavenly Father, and surely he matches with his own the tears his children shed. God’s love and power can calm the storm. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. Because know that for the faithful, things will be made right soon enough. God is a king; he speaks for the crown; he knows what can be promised. The Lord redeems that soul of his children and none of them that trust him shall be desolate. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6

May 10, 2018 12:36 am