When a young lady is to be a heroine, the perverseness of forty surrounding families cannot prevent her. Warner Brothers is producing a new Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie and Sarah Michelle Gellar is slated to take the role of Buffy Summers again. Many are looking forward to a box office hit, with the beautiful Queen, Sarah Michelle Gellar. This film will be a little more serious and darker than the the TV show.

With bullying being so prevalent, and hooligans becoming increasingly  insidious, even among professional journalists, it is time to make a film to show woman, girls, and even boys to men that it is okay to stand up for yourself and that suicide is not an option. Honest folk get to Heaven by different means, no heretic can learn the language of Heaven. Fight your demons.  To believe in the heroic makes heroes. We are very excited.

The World must be made safe, its peace must be planted upon the tested foundations of political liberty, and we have no selfish ends to serve. Most of us have been rewarded, first as children and later as adults, for compliant, obedient, or honorable behavior. Perhaps this is why so many people find it difficult to assert themselves.

Or perhaps non-assertion is related to anxiety about making a scene or feeling disliked by others. Whatever the causes, some people suffer tremendous anguish in any situation requiring poise, assurance, or assertion. We are liable to be imposed on, and to confer our choicest favors often on the undeserving. Lay yourself but the least open to imposition, and you will find so many ready to make their advantage of it that you would imagine justice was never in the land. Have you ever done any of the following?

Hesitated to question an error on your rent statement because you were afraid of making a scene? Backed out of asking your manager to fix a leaky toilet or to relocate you to another building? Said someone could enter your apartment, when you are not home, because you did not want to say no? Been afraid to make a tenant complaint because you did not want to seem unfair?

Decisive action is seen by appreciative minds to be frequently objectless, and sometimes fatal; but decision, however risky it may be, has more charm for one than the most unequivocal virtue. If you have ever had difficulty asserting yourself in similar situations, there is something called assertiveness training (instruction in how to be assertive). What is done in assertiveness training?

A charm must be accompanied by a strong wish on the part of the charmer that it may succeed. Assertiveness training is a very direct procedure. By using group exercises, videotapes, mirrors, and staged conflicts, the instructor teaches assertive behavior. People learn to practice the honesty, disagreeing, questioning authority, and assertive postures and gestures. As their confidence improves, bashfully clients are taken on field trips to shops and restaurants where they practice what they have learned.

Non-assertion requiring therapy is unusual. Nevertheless, many people become tense or upset in at least some situations in which they must stand up for their rights. For this reason, many people have found the techniques and exercises of assertive training helpful. If you have ever eaten a carbonized steak when you ordered it rare, or stood in silent rage as a clerk ignored you, the following discussion will be of interest.

Assertion-the first step in assertiveness training is to convince yourself of three basic rights: You have the right to refuse, to request, and to right a wrong. Assertion involves standing up for the rights by speaking out in your own behalf. How easy a choice poverty and honesty, rather than plenty and wickedness, is assertion just getting things your own way?

Not at all. A basic distinction can be made between assertion and aggressive behavior. Assertion is a direct, honest expression of feelings and desires. It is not exclusive self-assertive are usually patient to a fault. Sometimes their pent-up anger explodes with unexpected fury, which can be destructive to relationships.

In contrast to assertive behavior, aggression involves hurting another person or achieving one’s goals at the expense of another. A good heart will, at times, betray the best head in the World. Aggression does not take into account the feelings or the rights of others. It is an attempt to get one’s own way no matter what. Assertion techniques emphasize firmness, not attack.  A good conscience is the best of all narcotics.

Assertiveness training is the basic idea that each assertive action is practiced until it can be repeated even under stress. For example, let us say it really angers you when a manager gives several people, who arrived on the list after you did, parking spaces before you got one and threatens to tow your car after you finally get a parking space, claiming it is resident only parking, when you are a resident.

To improve your assertiveness in this situation, you would begin by rehearsing the dialogue, posture, and gestures you would use to confront the clerk or the other tenants. Working in front of a mirror can be very helpful. If possible, you should role-play the scene with a friend.

Be sure to have your friend take the part of a really narcissistic, belligerent, power-crazy, irresponsible manager, as well as a cooperative one. Rehearsal and role-playing should also be used to help defuse a situation when you expect possible confrontation with someone—for instance, if you are going to ask for a raise, challenge a grade, or confront a landlord.

Is that all there is to it? No. Another important principle is overlearning (practice that continues after initial mastery of a skill). When you rehearse or role-play assertive behavior, it is essential to continue to practice until your responses become almost automatic. This helps prevent you from getting flustered in the actual situation.

One more technique you may find useful is the broken record. This is an assertion technique involving repeating a request until it is acknowledged. A good way to prevent assertion from becoming aggression is to simply restate your request as many times and in as many ways necessary. As an illustration, let us say you are returning a pair of shoes to a store. After two wearings, the shoes fell apart, but you bought them two months ago, and no longer have a receipt. The broken record could sound something like this.

Kristina: I would like to have these shoes replaced.

Clerk: Do you have a receipt?

Kristina: No, but I bought these expensive stilettos here, and since they are defective, I would like to have you replace them.

Clerk: I cannot do that without a receipt.

Kristina: I understand that, but I want them replaced.

Clerk: Well, if you will come back this afternoon ET, and talk to the manager.

Kristina: I have brought these shoes in because they are defective.

Clerk: Well, I am not authorized to replace them.

Kristina: Yes, well, if you will replace these, I will be on my way.

Notice that the customer (Kristina) did not attack the clerk or create an angry confrontation. Simple persistence is often all that is necessary for successful assertion.

How would I respond to assertively to a put-down?

Responding assertively to a verbal aggression (a put-down) is a real challenge. The tendency is to respond aggressively, which usually makes things worse. A good way to respond to a derogatory comment uses the following steps: If you are wrong, admit it; acknowledge the person’s feelings; assert yourself about the other person’s aggression; briskly end the interchange.

Let us say you accidentally bump into someone. The person responds angrily, “Damn it! Why don’t you watch where you are going! You demon, you could have really hurt me!” A good response would be to say, “I am sorry I bumped you. I did not do it intentionally. It is obvious you are upset, but I do not like your calling me names, or hollering and screaming at me like you lost your mind. I can get your point without all of that drama.”

Now, what if someone insults you indirectly (“I love your taste in clothes, it is so basic”)? It is suggested that you ask for clarification (“What are you trying to say?”). This will force the person to take responsibility for the aggression. It can also provide an opportunity to change the way the person interacts with you: “I thought you were broke? If you really do not like what I am wearing, I would like to know it. I always like the things I buy, and I value your opinion.”

Being assertive does not supply instant poise, confidence, or assurance. However, it is a way of combating anxieties associated with life in an impersonal and sometimes intimidating society. If you are interested in more information, you can speak with a doctor.

Comparison of Assertive, Aggressive, and Non-assertive Behavior

Non-assertive Behavior:

Actor: Self-denying, inhibited, hurt, and anxious; lets others make choices; goals not achieved.

Receiver of Behavior: Feels sympathy, guilt, or contempt for actor; achieves goals at actor’s expense.

Aggressive Behavior:

Actor: Achieves goals at the expense of others’; expresses feelings, but hurts others; chooses for others or puts then down.

Receiver of Behavior: Feels hurt, defensive, humiliated, or taken advantage of; does not meet own needs.

 

Assertive Behavior:

Actor: Self-enhancing; acts in own best interest; expresses feelings; respects rights of others; goals usually achieved, self-respect maintained.

Receiver of Behavior: Needs respected and feelings expressed; may achieve goal; self-worth maintained.

It is not from nature, but from education and habit, that our wants are chiefly derived. Architecture is a design process, in many ways the ultimate design process, the process that determines what America looks like. The State Capitol Castle of California is essentially theatrical space in the heart of the state.

The Sun’s light and its shining rays fill the temple, one would say that the space is not lit by the Sun without, but the source of light is to be found within, such is the abundance of light…The scintillations of the light forbid the spectator’s gaze to linger on the details; each one attracts the eye and leads it on to the next. The circular motion of one’s gaze reproduces itself to infinity…The spirit rises toward God and floats in the air.

The idea was to create an essentially theatrical space in the heart of the city, a downtown area of spectacle and glamour that would attract not only suburbanites (and their dollars) back into the city on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis, but tourists as well.

The Capitol Castle and Downtown of the state Capitol of California, is thus reconceived not as business center, but as an entertainment complex, it is an arena of wholesome family entertainment, notably free of crime and drugs, thronging with happy people having a good time, praising the Lord, and spending money. This state represents a Kingdom, but functions in the contemporary imagination like a continuous World’s Fair, a Tomorrowland projection of how we would like the real World to appear.

Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. Make room for us in your hearts. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have exploited no one. I do not say this to condemn you; I have said before that you have such a place in our hearts that we would live or die with you. I have great confidence in you: I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds.

For when we came into Sacramento, this body of ours had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn, conflicts on the outside, fears within. However God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the Titus, and not only by his coming, but also by the comfort you had given him. (Titus was a native of Greece, and a Gentile by birth; but was converted to the Christian faith by the apostle Paul, who, in consequence of his strict adherence to the doctrine of Christ, calls him son.) He told us about your longing for me, so that my joy was greater than ever.

Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it, I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while, yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings death.

See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. So even though I wrote to you, it was not on account of the one who did the wrong or of the injured party, but rather that before God you could see for yourselves how devoted to us you are. By all this, we are encouraged.

In addition to our own encouragement, we were especially delighted to see how happy Titus was, because his spirit has been refreshed by all of you. I had boasted to him about you, and you have not embarrassed me. However, just as everything we said to you was true, so our boasting about you to Titus has proved to be true as well. And his affection for you is all the greater when he remembers that you were all obedient, receiving him with fear and trembling. I am glad I can have complete confidence in you.

And now, people, we want you to know about the grace that God has given the Macedonian churches. Out of the most severe Macedonian churches, and out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the saints.

And they did not do as we expected, but they gave themselves first to the Lord and then to us in keeping with God’s will. So we urged Titus, since he had earlier made a beginning, to bring also to completion this act of grace on your part. However, just as you excel in everything, in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness, and in your love for us, see that you also excel in this grace of giving.

I am not commanding you, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others. For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.

And here is my advice about what is best for you in this matter: Last year you were the first not only to give but also to have the desire to do so. Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means. For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have.

Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality. At the present time your plenty will supply what they need. Then there will be equality, as it is written: He who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little. I thank God, who put into the heart of Titus the same concern I have for you. For Titus not only welcomed our appeal, but he is coming to you with much enthusiasm and on his own initiative.

I do not see why, when it comes to falling in love, a man should not fall in love with a rich girl as easily as a poor one. There is nothing in love more requisite or more delectable than pleasant and wise conference; neither can there arise any storm in love which by wit is not turned into a calm.

It is okay for the Japanese to sever ramen noodles and a beer and charge $24 a bowl, and you call it gourmet. The  Mexicans can roll up some meat, mostly ice berg lettuce, in a flower rap and charge $8 and that is cool, but you steal people from Africa, make them build a nation, and no one on the main strip can I find a place to get some gourmet fried chicken and red Kool aid severed in a wine glass because it is ghetto, it is hood. Well, these people built this nation. Hello, hello, anybody home?

A black man made the stop light, so let him eat what he wants to eat, he saved billions of lives with his creation, in 1923!  Around the turn of the century, cars, bicycles, horse-drawn vehicles, and pedestrians all had to share the road. It was often quite dangerous. Garret Morgan’s traffic signal was the first to feature three commands instead of two, which controlled traffic more effectively. He sold the patent rights to General Electric for $555,555.56 (adjusted for inflation).

We denounce the ever-growing oppression of Kool aid and fried chicken, as this greatest menace threatens the country. The systematic persecution of law abiding citizens and their disfranchisement on account of race alone is a crime that will ultimately drag down to an infamous end any nation that allowed it to be practiced, and it bears most heavily on those poor white farmers and laborers whose economic position is most similar to that of the persecute kool aid, fried chicken and race.