Be genuine and conceal nothing. I write every word I want to say. I wish you happy. My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses for the king; my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer. All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. You shall seek them, and shall not find them, even them that contended with you: they that war against you shall be as nothing, and as a thing of nothing. If moralists would improve human nature, they should endeavor to expand, not to contract the heart. They should build their system on the passions and affections, the only foundations of the nobler virtues. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 9

You are the most excellent of men and your lips have been anointed with grace, since God has blessed you forever. Gird your sword upon your side, O mighty one; clothe yourself with splendor and majesty. In your majesty ride forth victoriously in behalf of truth, humility and righteousness; let your right hand display awesome deeds. Let your sharp arrows pierce the hearts of the king’s enemies; let the nations fall beneath your feet. Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever. Your love is from the imagination, not the heart. The expression of “violently in love” is as often applied to feelings which arise from an half-hour’s acquaintance, as to real, strong attachment. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 9

Sending you my sincere care and blessing, I hope every day you pass through is happy and bright and you are happier year by year. My heart grows closer to yours. Youth is a rising Sun; love is a pure and round moon, as those two wheels drive us forward. We can go through no matter how rough and devious the road is and step into a new day. I give you a rose, which is the only one in my heart. It will wither away if you do not water it with love and affection. The LORD will protect you and preserve your life; he will bless you in the land and not surrender you to the desires of your foes. The LORD will protect you and preserve you on your sickbed and restore you from your bed of illness. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 9

The magnificence of men has become so intolerable now that one is driven to be humble in one’s self-defense. A good funeral needs a joke. If mine is not more amusing than my friends’, I would rather not go to it. There are many varieties of sharp practitioners in this World, but the hardest of all to deal with are the men who overreach you under the disguise of inveterate good-humor. People are desperate to stay unconscious. We observe how often people turn on the television set the minute they enter a room and then walk around in a daze, constantly being programmed by data poured into them. People are terrified of facing themselves. They dread even a moment of aloneness. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 9

If we dump our negative feelings on others, they experience it as an attack, in turn, are forced to suppress, express, or escape the feelings; therefore, the expression of negativity results in the deterioration and destruction of relationships. A far better alternative is to take responsibility for our own feelings and neutralize them. Then, only beneficial feelings remain to be expressed. The more fear we have on the inside, the more our perception of the World is changed to a fearful, guarded expectancy. To the fearful person, this World is a terrifying place. To the angry person, this World is a chaos of frustration and vexation. Stress results from the accumulated pressure of our repressed ad suppressed feelings.  #RyanPhillippe 5 of 9

A negative feeling instantly causes a loss of 50 percent of the body’s muscle strength and also narrows our vision both physically and mentally. For myself, there are circumstances when I do not want to help. There are some people with whom I do not care to work. My own personal history intensifies that kind of conflict for me unnecessarily. I am not prepared in myself to deal with the depths of the stress between partners in that way. There are periods when I do not care to respond. Sometimes I find myself so exhausted I am unable to mobilize more than a grouchy resentment and a rumbling irritation.  #RyanPhillippe 6 of 9

 

A man who laughs will never be dangerous. I hate them men in whom kindness produces no responsive affection, and injustice no swell, no glow of resentment. Retributive justice pursues and overtakes the guilty to the ends of the Earth. Providence is sometimes pleased to manifest his justice, even in this World of imperfection where are not always to expect it. Those are times when I become selectively inattentive to others’ pain. My own needs take priority. I must take time to get myself together. I have gotten out of touch with myself by giving myself away too much. I respond only so long and then I have to not respond.  #RyanPhillippe 7 of 9

So be prepared, whenever others come, to ask yourself whether you really want to help. Have some sense of whether you are ready to risk opening yourself to the depths of others’ disturbance. Human scrutiny is neither to be solicited nor shunned. The great impediments to knowledge are, first, the want of a common language; and next, the short duration of existence. Nature has created inequalities in men and things, and, as human institutions are intended to prevent the strong from oppressing the weak, ergo, the laws should encourage natural inequalities as a legitimate consequence.  #RyanPhillippe 8 of 9

How would it feel to find out for a fact that your mean behavior and responsible for someone’s suicide? Not only is there a moral cost, but you could be charged with a crime, depending on the circumstances. I like to send people away from me feeling good. Not everyone is as evolved or knowledgeable as you, and that is why God allows suffering, he knows some of us can endure it and wants to give others a chance to get their lives together before it is too late. God does not want anyone to die nor suffer, so we all pay a price until the Universal consciences is brought up to code. I look upon many of our courts as one he machinery for legalizing injustice. Think of life as a gift, God gives life, and values your life. If you gave someone a gift your cherished, and someone stole it and cannot replace it, how would you feel? That is the same way God feels when people kill or abuse his people. #RyanPhillippe 9 of 9

 

 

The love course of life shines in the corner of life obscurely like leisurely clouds, which drift slowly, illuminating our hearts and warming our life. All of these remind us of the happiness, disconsolation in the past years. One together with you, we walked through that beautiful song. That momentary magnificence is well worthy of my life-long memory. You are going to rest with your fathers, and these people will soon prostitute themselves to the foreign gods of the land they are entering. They will forsake me and break the covenant I made with them. Many disasters and difficulties will come on them. And I will certainly hide my face on that day because of all their wickedness in turning to other gods.  Yesterday, quite unintentionally, I tore a hundred-dollar note in two pieces and gave half to a woman who was visiting me. Is that, too, a symptomatic action?  #RyanPhillippe 1 of 18

I wished to note the names of a number of person to whom I could apply for charitable assistance. There was no paper, so my patient grasped the envelope from my desk, and without thinking of its contents, tore it in two pieces, one of which I kept and gave the other to my visitor. Note the harmlessness of this aimless occurrence. It is known that a hundred-dollar note suffers no loss in value when it is torn, provided all the pieces are produced. That I would not throw away the pieces of paper was assumed by the importance of the names on it, and there was just as little doubt that I would return the valuable content as soon as I noticed it. I am not mistaken; I consider myself indebted for this advice. Should this have halved hundred-dollar note gone to pay a fee? #RyanPhillippe 2 of 18

 

 

It began prosaically enough with afternoon tea. Randolph and I had tea with me by my pool of my Beverly Hills home. It was 4 July 2014. Glancing up from the tea table, I saw a man come from the dining area of the house and walk toward us. Wondering idly why they had not been introduced, Randolph watched as a man strode briskly around in the pool. He was a middle aged gentleman dressed formally in a black suit, white shirt and tie. His hair was thinning at the top, and he had a charming potato nose. The unidentified man appears to bleed at the throat. Studying the latter portrait carefully, one sees what appears to be tiny beads of blood forming just above the starched white collar spreading to a dark red line along the throat. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 18

Recently, a team of Psychic Science Investigators visited the house. Several felt, while climbing the stairs to the second floor, that their progress was impeded. Later, learning the background of the house, they discussed the former owner, speculated as to whether they were not reliving a fragment of the pain and frustration which I must have felt as the years passed when I was no longer able to climb the stairs because the second floor was closed off entirely. Many visitors to the home have been puzzled by an unexpected noise, the sound of a baby crying in the upstairs nursery. Members of the PSI team heard it too. While resting their hands on the crib, some received impressions of an infant’s death. It was later learned that Jennifer Null, the baby daughter of the former caretaker, had died in the room.  #RyanPhillippe 4 of 18

Both wished on account of their pecuniary circumstances to be spared from being additionally blessed with children. Not only is the Heritage Park haunted, but possibly former caretaker, Ben Crawford (Ryan Phillippe) is as well. One night, Ben says, he was lying in bed, wide awake, when an apparition of a man appeared before him. It said: You know who I am? Don’t take any bull shit! I considered myself wicked, criminal, and immoral, but at the time, I was almost crazy with nervousness. I had often reproached myself with the words, ‘You really had your child killed,’ and I feared that such a crime could not remain unpunished. Now that you have assured me that there is nothing seriously wrong with my eyes, I am quite assured I have already been sufficiently punished.  #RyanPhillippe 5 of 18

This accident, therefore, was on the one hand a retribution for my sin, but on the other hand it may have served as an escape from a more dire punishment which I had feared for many months. In the moment that I ran to the shop to buy the picture, the memory of this whole history, with its fears (already quite active in her unconscious at the time I warned my husband), became overwhelming and could perhaps find expression in words like these: ‘But why do you want an ornament for the nursey?—you who had your child killed! You are a murderer! The punishment is surely approaching!’  Sheet-clad guests had a pleasant–if uneventful time–until eleven-thirty when every light in the place when out. Suddenly a terrific crash was heard in the dining room. A wrong iron candelabra had crashed to the floor. #RyanPhillippe 6 of 18

This thought did not become conscious, but instead of it I made use of the situation—I might say of the psychological moment—to utilize in a commonplace manner the heap of stones to inflict upon myself this punishment. It was for this read that I did not even attempt to put out my arms while falling and was not much frightened. The second, and probably lesser, determinant of my accident was obviously the self-punishment for my unconscious wish to be rid of my husband, who was an accessory to the crime in this affair. This was betrayed by my absolutely superfluous warning to be very careful in the street on account of the stones. For, just because my husband had a weak leg, he was very careful in walking. #RyanPhillippe 7 of 18

Another strange incident occurred one evening when I was rehearsing a play with the Scheherazade Players in an antiquated barn at the rear of the park which had been converted into a theater. The seating capacity of the place is limited, the ambiance intimate. The audience is very close to the stage and we can see each individual quite clearly, I explained. While going over my lines, I noticed an older man sitting in the front row. I assumed that he must be the father of a cast member, but wondered why he was dressed in such old fashioned looking clothes. As soon as the scene was over, I started toward him to introduce myself—only to see him disappear before my eyes.  #RyanPhillippe 8 of 18

The Scheherazade Players—or possibly their barn—may have been responsible for still a different type of phenomena. While the group was performing The Valkyrie, a friend took a series of pictures. When the roll was developed, they found what looked like bolts of white lightning superimposed over the original subjects. Many parapsychologist believe this type of phenomenon indicates the presence of spirits or spirit energy. The Heritage Park is the Stanley House which was built in 1891 and have been retained in all its gingerbread elegance. (12174 Euclid Avenue in Garden Grove.)  #RyanPhillippe 9 of 18

When we went back to the Beverly Hills house, I began to hear the sounds of chairs being pushed back in the dining room, as though guests were rising from some ghostly dinner party. After a few nights of this, I cut away all the branches which had been rubbing against the dining room window. The sound did not stop. In August, my husband went to Yugoslavia to make a movie, leaving me alone in the house—or so we thought. The noises in the dining room continued. One three occasions a locked window seemingly unlocked itself in the night and was wide open in the morning. Twice we heard the front door open and shut even though it was found to be bolted in the morning.  #RyanPhillippe 10 of 18

Before joining Randolph in Yugoslavia, I arranged to have a detective check the house periodically in our absence. The man reported finding doors and windows wide open, although nothing was missing. Once, while driving by the house at two-thirty in the morning, I discovered all the lights on. Just as I pulled in the drive, they went off. An electrician checked the fuse box and lines, but could find nothing wrong. The dogs began to react as though to a presence that no one else saw. They would suddenly start to bark while starting toward the entrance of the dining room. When my son was a baby, he would often run to a certain spot in the dining room and then trotted out exactly as if following someone, like he was being punished or went somewhere he was not supposed to.  #RyanPhillippe 11 of 18

In August of 2015, I closed the house again and went on a month’s vacation. During this time Marvin Chandler, the pool maintenance man, was surprised to catch a glimpse through the terrace windows of a man walking through the dining room. Marvin Chandler noted that the man’s hands were clasped behind his back. He was tall, heavy-set, elderly man wearing dark trousers, a tie and white shirt. He was sporting with the older child, by far his favorite. He tossed it high in the air and repeated this tossing till finally he throust it so high that its head almost struck the massive gas chandelier. Almost, but not quite, or say “just about!” Nothing happened to the child except that it became dizzy from fright. The father stood transfixed with the child in his arms, while the mother merged into an hysterical attack. #RyanPhillippe 12 of 18

I was not satisfied with this as the determination of my accident, and asked whether he had something else to tell me. ‘Yes, just before the accident, I noted a nice picture in a shop on the other side of the street, which I suddenly desired as an ornament for my nursery, and wished to buy it at once. I sent Randolph thereupon he walked across to the shop without looking at the street, stumbling over a heap of stones, and fell with his face against the wall without making the slightest effort to shield himself with his hands. The intention to buy the picture for you was immediately forgotten, and he walked home in haste.’ The particular facility of this careless movement, with the violent reactions in the patents, suggested to me to look upon this accident as a symbolic action which gave the expression to an evil intention toward the beloved child. #RyanPhillippe 13 of 18

I often reported feeling generally depressed, anxious, and tired. I often felt like I was underwater and numb. There is a lot of emotion in me that I cannot relieve. I often felt sad, angry, and fearful for unknown reasons. I was also burdened by many self-critical thoughts, including the beliefs that something was wrong with me, that I was not good enough to have a black son, and that I did not know how to relate to others. I am mused whether I was trying to preserve imaginary ties to my family with my depression—a prescient insight. I had few friends and it was hard to connect with others.  #RyanPhillippe 14 of 18

I am also bright, creative, and philosophically inquisitive with a wry sense of humor. My family origin is deeply troubled: my mother had been very anxious, distracted, and unable to strongly bond. My father had been highly critical and verbally aggressive. My parents divorced when I was five years old, after which my father became hostile and devaluing toward my mother. In time, influenced by my father’s relentlessly harsh criticism, I lost respect for my mother. While I loved her, I saw her as pathetic and incompetent. When she twenty-one, she was murdered by her boyfriend. I was alienated by my father, in a tumultuous relationship with my fiancée, and struggling to get my get my career off the ground. We met for a total of eighty-two sessions over a little more than two years.  #RyanPhillippe 15 of 18

I told you about my family history and clarified the issues that I wanted to work on, and more precisely explored my felt sense of self. I shared an image of myself as a little boy reaching out and wanting to be picked up. I am wanting, learning, reaching out to be part of something, but I feel separate. Other are not attending to or connecting to me enough, so I want to pull back. I am walking around half alive. I sense a light in me that was not safe to share with my family. I have a strong longing and deep fear to open up and connect with others and with something greater than my limited sense of self. The chasm of separation and aloneness seemed impassable to me.  #RyanPhillippe 16 of 18

Yesterday, while cutting my nails, I had cut into the flesh while engaged in trimming the cuticle. This is of so little interest that some asked in astonishment why it is at all remembered and mentioned, and therefore come to the conclusion that we deal with a symptomatic action. It was really the finger upon which the wedding ring is worn which was injured through this slight awkwardness. It happened, moreover, on my wedding-day, which thus gives to the injury of the delicate skin a very definite and easily guessed meaning. My secret affection as a boy belonged to a physician who was jokingly called Doktor der Line (literally Doctor of Left). Incidentally, a left-handed marriage has a definite meaning.  #RyanPhillippe 17 of 18

However, other material must be considered. Several days before, a woman mediator of a different sort had inquired of a relative whether the gracious young man wished to make the acquaintance of a certain gentleman, at a nightclub called Purgatory. And that morning, some hours before the man’s visits, the wooing letter of the suitor arrived, giving occasion for the mirth. Both mediators became fused into one in this repressed thought, and I handed the visitor the fee which her phantasy was ready to give the other. This resolution became perfectly convincing when I add that I had told her of such chance or symptomatic actions only the previous evening, while I saw a shooting star. She then took advantage of the next occasion to produce an analogous action. I have never had such a feeling of menace, I could not get out fast enough.  #RyanPhillippe 18 of 18

 

 

 

 

Nothing can be polite that is not just. Kings are accountable for injustice permitted as well as done. By looking, a person acts in his World constructively. One sets the tone for what can be. Wish you pleasure at every minute of your day and satisfaction with all before your eyes, and consolation at each reflection. The light seen in front on a long way is hope, and the light seen in the cold winter is warmth. You are that light on the way of life which gives me warmth and hope. It was you, but not God that created the Universe, my dear father. In this yearning season, I fall back more on your kindness, smiles, warm chest and unselfish love…What you gave me a luxurious house like a palace, countless fortune, an encyclopedia of life, broad like the sea. It guides me forward fine in life.  #RyanPhillippe 1 of 11

Life requires both parts of our brain. Each is necessary. The strength of one compensates for and complements the limitation of the other. While in extreme circumstances, it is possible to function with only one hemisphere, most of the time each counterbalances the one-sidedness of the other. On the day, I spare time to think how much our brain does for us. It is our future and eternality and makes me miss you every second and every minute. Please let my blessing into your heart, brain, and body, feeling your harvest and aroma. Glorious histories do not limit your today. Ages do not become your constraint for your aims for the far future. It shows the wisdom and tolerance of the elder.  #RyanPhillippe 2 of 11

We create by actively putting out into the World that which is successive, discrete, individual. I have the most valuable gift to present to you, which is my pure heart. My heart will be with you forever, as long as you are honest to me, I never change my mind at the crossroad of love. We center by receptively taking in from the World that which is simultaneous, diffuse, collective. May happy years and happy time stay forever. Wish you, a youngster, are happy as possible as you can be and fly freely. I am standing at the window quietly recalling past years at the beginning of New Year in the distance. I find time is solidifying, but you are the spotlight in the scenery. I write my blessing on the picture with my hearts. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 11

May great fortune smile upon you and favor you with lots of blessings in the coming years. The LORD your God is with you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. The sorrows for the appointed feasts I will remove from you; they are a burden and a reproach to you. At that time, I will deal with all who oppose you; I will rescue the lame and gather those who have been scattered. I will give them praise and honor in every land where they were put to shame. At that time, I will gather you; at that time, I will bring you home. I will give you honor and praise among all the peoples of the Earth when I restore your fortunes before your eyes, reports the LORD.  #RyanPhillippe 4 of 11

In responding to human requirements, investigation has identified common features in the various therapeutic approaches. We found in examination that the features could be reduced to two. One is caring or the connecting relationship, which I relate to the right hemisphere and its functioning. Here is identification with that which is, the supporting setting, the humanness of another, the everlasting arms. I call this the logic of the marginal and the peripheral. It is the variable of being. It is no shame to use God’s gifts for our credits. Excellent always are the gifts which are made acceptable by the virtue of the giver. Youthful genius may produce nothing visible to the World’s eye, and yet may complete its development within to a very perfect degree.  There is many a trifle I would deny you. There is many a great gift I would give you willingly.  #RyanPhillippe 5 of 11

Genius must be somewhat like us Golden State Warriors—calm, content, in consciousness of power. The other part of the brain is cognitive structure or some logical way of organizing the environment to make sense of one’s experience, which I relate to the left hemisphere and its functioning. Love is not enough; caring is not sufficient. Naming, language, creating, identifying, making distinctions (as in Genesis 2 and 3) are also necessary. When the LORD God made the Earth and the Heavens—and no shrub of the field had yet appeared on the Earth and no plant of the field had yet sprung up, for the LORD God had not sent rain on the Earth and there was no man to work the ground, but streams came up from the ground—the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.  #RyanPhillippe 6 of 11

Without creations of God, these persons lack skills and competence in engaging in the World efficiently and effectively. I call this logic of the focused and the central. Coming at human nature, it is important to explore what the duality of the human existence. The essential duality is between the modality of the agency for the existence of the individual and the modality of communion of the participation of the individual in a larger whole. Agency includes: self-projection, self-assertion, and self-expansion; the formation of separations; isolation, alienation, and aloneness; the urge to master; and repression of thought, feeling, and impulse. Obviously, this constellation goes with left hemisphere activity.  #RyanPhillippe 7 of 11

The communion of the duality that exists in the brain includes these contrasts: the sense of being at one with other organisms, the lack of separations, contact, openness, and union; noncontractual cooperation; the lack and removal of repression. Again, this constellation relates to hemisphere activity, in this case the right hemisphere. As a rule, these constellations have the right stuff to become Great Comets. It seems, however, that a particular group of periodic comets, the so-called Centaurs, may be undergoing a very interesting evolution. The primary representative of this category is Chiron, 180 kilometers in diameter, discovered in 1977 orbiting between Saturn and Uranus.  At first, Chiron was considered to be an asteroid, but as it got closer to the Sun, a tenuous coma and a two million-kilometer tail were observed.  #RyanPhillippe 8 of 11

The Sun’s magnetic field is divided into four sectors. Its rotation with the Sun gives the field a spiral form. Adjacent sectors of the field have opposite polarities. All of this is to suggest that both parts of the brain and both sides of ourselves are necessary if we are to be whole persons, but when these two people in particular combined, they release an energy that is supernatural. With the passage of a few million years, they could assume even tighter orbits and thus become highly active comets. Future generations may then witness the appearance of comets so bright and spectacular as to exceed the limits of the imagination. However, neither active side nor the receptive side is sufficient to create the whole. To get oneself together, each side is necessary. We are made for active engagement and receptive involvement.  #RyanPhillippe 9 of 11

None of us ends in ourself; none of us begins with ourself. The fulfillment of meaning is always more than the fulfillment of me. For though everything belongs to you…the World, life, and death, the present and the future, all of them belong to you—yet you belong to Christ, and Christ to God (I Corinthians 3:21-23, NEB). The structure is not of our making; it is the Logos, the orderly structuring of the uni-verse, of everything that is. Discoveries in the 19^th century were made exclusively by visual means, employing both reflecting telescopes and refractors, comets have a fascination because it is the only kind of astronomical discovery where the celestial body detected is christened. In bursting forth, I discover that God and I are one. Now I am what I was [meant to be]. #RyanPhillippe 10 of 11

I carry a responsibility in society to catch up with the visionaries from the past, as we can burst forth, not in the terms of the destructive, but emphasizing discovery. We are recovering the wholeness of our World—of others, of ourselves, of humanity. Far-reaching road to the distance, rose to love! I want to give all of my love to you, my darling. As we get ourselves together, we can give ourselves to where we are. We criticize what-is-not and we celebrate what-is. We criticize what-is and we celebrate what-is-not. We uproot and we reroot. We work and we love. As long as you are loyal and faithful to me, I will be yours for eternity. As we turn the key to the front door of our home, the key lies within ourselves as the whole persons, my heart will be with your forever as long as you are honest to me, I never change my mind at the crossroad of love. I will. #RyanPhillippe 11 of 11

 

 

In a way, it is best to simply be aware of it as it spontaneously arises. Although some are far from agreeing with our views, despite their occasional impulsive intolerance, the meetings were very fruitful and successful in disseminating the sacred mirror of thoughts. Meanwhile, I had been in correspondence with Randolph, and when we met in the beginning of 2007, we both felt that we knew each other quite well. To make a long story short, stretching over a decade, short, I am happy to say that this friendship has continued ever since and has been the greatest experience in my life. It was during our first meeting that we agreed on the sequence in which I was to translate his works into English.  #RyanPhillippe  1 of 34

Proper names are more apt to be forgotten than any other content memory. In the forgetting process, our mind is packed with so much information, and sometimes overloaded that it becomes easy to forget the names of people. After one examines exhaustively the phenomenon of temporary forgetfulness through the observation of certain peculiarities, which, although not general, can, nevertheless, be seen clearly in some cases. In these, there is not only forgetfulness, but also false recollection; he who strives for the escaped name brings to consciousness others—substitutive names—which, although immediately recognized as false, nevertheless obtrude themselves with great tenacity. The process which should lead to the reproduction of the lost name is, as it were, displaced, and thus brings one to an incorrect substitute.  #RyanPhillippe 2 of 34

Now it is my assumption that the displacement is not left to psychic arbitrariness, but that it follows lawful and rational paths. In other words assume that the substitutive name (or names) stands in direct relation to the lost name, and I hope, if I succeed in demonstrating this connection, to throw light on the origin of the forgetting of names. They called them Painted Ladies—those delicate antiquated Victorians gussied up in bright colors, held together by witch craft, and supernatural forces. Conflicts inspire restless spirits and that is not surprising. Who knows how man specters haunt the grand mansion. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 34

 

The twists and turns into a dark labyrinth of possibilities. The impressive structure built by San Mateo Country Assemblyman James Coleman in 1880 cost $100,000.00 ($2,477,616.74)—a fantastic sum in those days. Legend has it the mansion was to be a gift for his lovely wife, the former Carmelita Nuttall, a woman described by contemporary newspapers as “peerless in beauty and accomplishments.”  #RyanPhillippe 4 of 34

The mansion was nearing completion when a tragic event occurred that cast an evil shadow over the place for more than a hundred years. James Coleman returned from a business trip to the San Francisco hotel suite he shared with Carmelita. Though it was 5am, the dutiful young wife rose from bed and proceeded to unpack his bags. Somehow, as she was removing a gun from his valise, Carmelita accidentally shot herself. It is said that the distraught bridegroom never set foot in the Peninsula palace that had only just been completed. The house changed hands several times over the years, no one lingering long. In 1906, a young woman ended her life in the mansion by hurling herself headlong down a steep stairway.  #RyanPhillippe 5 of 34

Yesterday’s Victorian elegance has been to acquire a resident ghost as well. The Legend of Carmelita is still very real. Carmelita Coleman was a loved (and feared) member of the community. The romantic tradition of her tenancy has grown with the years, sparked by some very vivid experiences. Over the last century, there has been stories of shimmering lights, unexplained footsteps and pets that refused to enter the building. Generations of children have told of a glimpsing the wraithlike figure of a woman dressed in green. Some say the woman herself is green. One entire class saw the apparition. Ken Coale: I was awakened at 3am one Summer morning by the sound of footsteps. The footsteps seemed to come from the room just above me on the second floor. I lay there absolutely petrified.  #RyanPhillippe 6 of 34

Finally, I forced myself to track the sounds, as they grew louder and louder, while I climbed the stairs. Just then, I reached the landing, a door opened before me. I entered the door and it slammed shut behind me. The room from which the footsteps had seemingly been coming from was empty, and the only window was closed. It was a forty-foot drop to the ground below, no fire escape, and no indication of anyone having taken that exit. The house was quiet now. Whoever or whatever had been there was gone.  #RyanPhillippe 7 of 34

The next night, I encountered the apparition. This time the green lady confronted me in the long black hallway, the scent of sandalwood and jasmine and vanilla was present, but I was all alone. I pressed the button to turn the light switch, but nothing happened. Me and the ghost stared at one another for a few very long moments. Then the vision simply disappeared. No one has ever been hurt by the ghost, it must be a benevolent one. If people do not believe the mansion is haunted, I just tell them to wait a year and then report back to me.  #RyanPhillippe 8 of 34

I was fortunate enough to arrive there at the beginning of a new era in psychiatry and urged my assistants to learn and test them in the mansion. There is mystical significance in the very greenness of the ghost. In ancient times, emerald symbolized eternal life, youth, and prosperity. I was the first orthodox psychiatrist to open the staff meeting at the mansion. When we held a séance at the mansion, in the presence of fifty people, it was impossible to describe how I felt when I entered the ranks of this enthusiastic group. #RyanPhillippe 9 of 34

I was covered in Versace, looking like a fresh prince, flexin’ through the projects. Them people thought I was illuminati. I repeat what I have often stated in the past—namely, that no such group of psychiatric workers ever existed before or since. Under the benevolent, but penetrating eye of Herr Direktor all of us worked zealously and assiduously. All gold everything. Got a ring on every finger, diamonds flooded in this mansion like it is raining. Say, the flow out here is solid, smoking hydrofonics. In the presence of some fifty people, a voice speaking through the San Francisco medium Macelle Brown introduced herself as the original owner; and related a heretofore untold tale of an unhappy marriage, a lover, a very jealous husband and a murder—her own. #RyanPhillippe 10 of 34

Then, to everyone’s surprise, another ghost slid through claiming to be Carmelita’s father Reuben Randolph Nuttall, but was dismissing her story as hogwash. “Why should I not be here?” he demanded to know. “It was my money that built the place, not James Coleman’s!” R.R Nuttall then explained that he visits the mansion from time to time to note the modern improvements and watch the kids. He enjoys children, likes progress, has no messages and wishes no one ill. What really happened? How will we ever know when even the ghost themselves cannot get their stories straight. These particular hallucinations could be perceived only by this particular patient. They told the struggles of his wrecked individual mental life at 920 Peninsula Way, Menlo Park, California 94025. Dr. George H. Kirby, former director of the New York Psychiatric Institute, later designated as “Interpretative Psychiatry.”  #RyanPhillippe 11 of 34

These people value sexual pleasure above all else, and at sexual disturbances merge into utter despair which strangely contrasts with their resignation at the peril of losing their lives. One of my colleague’s patients once told him: “For you know Sir (Herr), if that ceases, life no longer has any charm.” I refrained from imparting this characteristic feature because I did not wish to touch upon such a delicate theme in conversation with a stranger. However, I went still further; I also deflected my attention from the continuation of the thought which might have associated itself in me with the theme “Death and Sexuality.”  #RyanPhillippe 12 of 34

I was at that time under the after-effects of a message which I had received a few weeks before, during a brief sojourn in Trafoi. A patient, whom I had spent much effort, had ended his life on account of an incurable sexual disturbance.  I must recognize in this process the influence of a motive. There were motives which actuated the interruption in the communication of my thoughts (concerning the customs of these people, etc.), which later influenced me to exclude from my consciousness the thoughts connected with them, and which might have led to the message concerning the incident in Trafoi—that is, I wanted to forget something, I repressed something.  #RyanPhillippe 13 of 34

They remind me (after the form of a compromise) as much of what I wished to forget as of what I wished to remember, and show me that my object to forget something was neither a perfect success nor a failure. The nature of the association formed between the lost name and the repressed theme (death and sexuality, etc.), is also very strange. It includes an essential dimension of the human experience that often is completely overlooked or only dimly intuited during meetings.  Although all of life’s expressions are officially sacred, clients often use words like sacred or essential to describe the extraordinary wholeness and intimacy that arises while being together.  #RyanPhillppe 14 of 34

During gazing they sometimes report contacting an unknown sense of wholeness beneath or behind their sense of lacking something. Some report that what they fear as groundlessness or emptiness shows itself to be an authentic ground or core as they participate in the quiet looking. Over time, many clients’ feelings of isolation, alienation, and disconnection gradually transform into an intimate connection with life. When clients let go into the imagined terrors of abandonment, engulfment, or fragmentation while sustaining this intimate contact with their doctor, they often eventually discover a greater sense of freedom and authenticity.  #RyanPhillippe 15 of 34

I have not seen ghosts, but I have surely felt their presence. One even accosted me at the nude beach in Santa Cruz. It was the scariest night of my life. It began on another, far pleasanter evening. At a crowded Tahoe restaurant, a friend and I shared a table with another couple, Bill and Vivian Marraccino. The usual get-acquainted question, What do you do? led to surprises for everyone. There is this haunted hose down in Santa Cruz—all kinds of stuff happens there. Things fly around the room, lights go on and off. The corsscurrents of the self-image or ego will distort the clear mirroring of being. #RyanPhillippe 16 of 34

It is important to be aware of any feelings of inflation or needs to be idealized, and to honestly investigate what many feel unloved, unaccepted, devalued, or lacking within our self. The ego will tend to appropriate the sacred mirroring function as a special skill. It is humbling to discover that this capacity is inherent in all individuals. Not surprisingly, the less attached to and identified with sacred mirroring we are, the more freely it functions. He looks so picturesque in his old rain slicker and cap that a new guy—Jim Hilburn, an engineer—tried to photograph him. Jim got quite close to what he thought was a flesh and blood, if a bit eccentric man. Then as he focused his camera, the old sailor faded away. #RyanPhillippe 17 of 34

Sacred mirroring also enhances ordinary mirroring. Once I and my clients are connected in an expansive space, they may approach the contents of awareness with much more clarity and intimacy. The conditioned body and mind is more easily seen to be what it is. Core beliefs are seen as thoughts instead of gospel truths. Shameful and frightening feelings are more readily accepted and allowed.  Then there is a window. The window that does not exist. Other guest have often observed a lighted window on the hill above the water. It really surprised me the first time. I could not remember any buildings in that area. I thought it was just a barren hillside with nothing on it. #RyanPhillippe 18 of 34

Sensations are explored with less resistance. The contents of awareness—thoughts, feelings, and sensations—come into clearer focus as I and my clients consciously share the ground of being. There is a greater sense of welcoming whatever arises in one’s awareness. Even on a sunny day, the place looks like a setting for a Gothic horror story. The Coast Highway winds its way through deserted stretches of hills and sea. The narrow road wound downward from the highway, twisting and turning around and rolling, mound-like hills.  #RyanPhillippe 19 of 34

As I approached the isolated farmhouse, I felt that I had stepped back in time a hundred years. Given the profound value of sacred mirroring, it is natural to want to know how to attain or achieve it. If any house looked haunted, this one did. Trying to be present, open, and available is like trying to make the Sun rise (or the Earth turn)—it happens on its own. The effort to become a sacred mirror takes one farther from it. Trying to be a sacred mirror is like standing in our house and asking how to get home. We already are there. The tall two-story structure was like some lonely sentinel, a mute survivor. Of what, I wondered: penetrating fog and sea eagles certainly. But what else?  #RyanPhillippe 20 of 34

Attuning with being or presence is a matter of nonmental understanding, which in turn allows a deep letting go. Efforts may be made to understand, to quiet the mind, to fix or purify something that we imagine is wrong or missing. In the end, however, effort is discarded. There is literally nothing to do to be present. It is enough to notice when we are not present. Eventually, we come to realize that what we are looking for is the one who is looking. The search comes to a natural stop and we simply recognize what we already are. We discover that we have always been the sacred mirror that we have been trying to become.  #RyanPhillippe 21 of 34

What is the inner felt-sense of functioning as a sacred mirror? Subjectively, there is an enhanced capacity to be with whatever arises within oneself or within another, including the resistance to what is arising. I do not believe that anything is wrong or missing from you. Things are relatively quiet now—those footsteps, they are not much. They happen so often; I would not get any rest at night if I ran downstairs to check every time we heard them. And the doors slamming by themselves, that is nothing. They do it most every day, some even open by themselves.  My bottles of wine dance around a lot and we hear the sound of crystal shattering, but never find anything broken. #RyanPhillippe 22 of 34

This experience of being together or sacred mirroring often evokes the sensation of a vast space. Some have reported commonly feeling sensations of dropping, opening, or deepening into a more expansive awareness. The atmosphere of the house had grown heavy and oppressive. I had a sense of danger, an emotion that I would rarely experience in the other houses. A baby was whining softly, cowering a chair. There has been something evil in this house—murder and incest. I see an angry man who dominated his children. They were virtual prisoners here. I think we have entered into a core of the Victorians’ wounds or contractions, even as we retain a sense of feeling or space around us.  #RyanPhillippe 23 of 34

Such moments are very intense and poignant experiences for me, I may cry or even subtly shake. It feels as though love is entering hell. It is clearly a shared experience because most of the guest can directly sense that I have joined them in their inner World. A girl named Gwendolyn did disappear mysteriously while visiting her uncle, who owned the place. That was in the very early 1900s. No one ever heard from her again. A skeleton was dug up when someone decided to put in a barbecue pit. Thinking that we might have tapped into an old Indian burial ground, we called in an expert from UC Santa Cruz, he reported that the bones were those of a woman buried eighty to ninety years ago.  #RyanPhillippe 24 of 34

Over time, this intimate yet spacious joining in the wound melts my feelings of separation that is the core of their suffering. It is as if compassionate awareness penetrates the contraction of the Victorian’s private World. These moments of shared suffering often prepare the ground for opening into a lighter and more transparent shared space. It was nearly midnight as the séance broke up. John and I walked out into the black night. A thick fog was creeping in from the sea. John said he felt something behind him and was scared. I felt certain that the evil presence meaning the house had attached itself to me.  #RyanPhillippe 25 of 34

Sick with terror, I stood shivering in the damp sea air—uncertain whether to continue on in the dark or go back into the afflicted house. Such undefended contact may be unbearable for many, evoking intense feelings such as fear, shame, or rage, and the belief that they are a failure. Or they may simply experience xenophobia. It requires a deep trust in oneself to be so open. Being together can also evoke some very unusual visual phenomena. Some often report shits in their visual field. They may see their host’s face begin to dissolve so that only the eyes remain. #RyanPhillippe 26 of 34

Light may appear around the head or in the one. One of my guest from time to time experiences everything turning into white light. Light and dark fields may reverse so that it appears that one is looking at a photographic negative. More rarely, guests have reported other faces being superimposed upon the therapist and wonder if they are viewing past life images or their own projected shadow selves. These shifts so that clients also report feeling like their own bodies are expanding or dissolving. More than one, clients have described these phenomena as psychedelic. #RyanPhillippe 27 of 34

Interestingly, doctors will often have a parallel experience with their clients. While these experiences are unusual and at times unsettling, they are significant and unique. They may be viewed as by-products of the awareness that unfolds from the natural intimacy of being together. A heavy wind seemed to come up out of nowhere as we crossed the Santa Cruz mountains, making it difficult to keep the car on the road. I began to see flashed of light like bolts of lightning and blobs of white energy. There seemed no doubt that some evil presence was pursuing us.  #RyanPhillippe 28 of 34

Some of that apprehension dissipated in the familiar atmosphere of my apartment. The streaks were gone, the blobs were gone, yet I could not rid myself of the feeling that I was not alone. Many times in the days that I followed, I glanced up from my typewriter, certain that someone was looking over my shoulder. Had I picked up a spectral hitchhiker? I recalled the story of Lu, a woman who had visited the farmhouse with her boyfriend, a longtime friend of the Edwardes’s. Lu has felt so uncomfortable in the hose that she had left almost immediately. #RyanPhillippe 29 of 34

At home, Lu experienced a sense of possession. Again and again she heard the words, unfinished and unburied. She saw a vision of a man and large searing white spots. Slowly as the days passed, the sense of being watched diminished. I was alone again—really alone—and very glad of it. It was all imagination I decided and was beginning to believe it. And then one evening Nick called talking about her heard howling sounds coming from the house. The upstairs window of a darkened bedroom was illuminated and above the living room—where the séance had taken place—were round blobs of light and sometimes lightning-like bolts.  #RyanPhillippe 30 of 34

Some nights I wonder what they were doing down at the nude beach—but so far, I have not had the nerve to go to purgatory and find out. The experience of sacred mirroring or being together is soft yet potentially provocative. It is important to rely on intuition as well as common sense as to when and with whom one introduces it. It should not be used with highly disturbed clients. Be particularly cautious with clients who have experienced narcissistic invasion or boundary violations of any kind by primary caretakers. Since this approach induces a remarkable level of intimacy, certain clients can easily misperceive it as a fearsome invasion.  #RyanPhillippe 31 of 34

Since my private practice does not include clients diagnosed with low or midlevel functioning personality disorders, I cannot draw any conclusions about working with these populations. Common sense would dictate being extremely cautious about introducing this process to them. However, there may be special potential in gradually and safely introducing this kind of contact with clients diagnosed with a schizoid personality disorder, since their issues center around their sense of isolation and difficulty making contact with others.  #RyanPhillippe 32 of 34

Above all, it is important for professional to be at ease within themselves and sensitive to their client’s responses and reaction. It is generally best to begin with very short intervals of quiet contact and then leave plenty of time to talk about what happened afterwards. As trust builds, longer intervals of contact can be sustained. I had not had any damaging experiences with this process; however, a few clients have found it to be either too intense, temporarily unsettling, or unproductive. Many and diverse relations to the name contained in the repressed theme, but was lost through it in the reproduction.  #RyanPhillippe 33 of 34

Its substitution was formed in a way to suggest that a displacement took place along the same associations regardless of the sense and acoustic demarcation. The names where therefore treated in this process like the written pictures of a sentence which is to be transformed into a picture-puzzle (rebus). No information was given to consciousness concerning the whole, instead of the proper name, was thus changed to the substitutive names. At first sight, no relation is apparent between the theme that contained the proper name and the repressed one which immediately preceded it. What a Bohemian Rhapsody in this Queen (Anne Victorian). #RyanPhillippe 34 of 34

 

 

Recall the bright joyful eyes with which your child beams upon you when you bring him a new toy, and then let the physicist tell you that in reality nothing emerges from these eyes; in reality their only objectively detectable function is continually to be hit by and to receive light quanta. In reality! A strange reality! Something seems to be missing.  It is biologically possible to teach people how to be happy and serene. The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. The sorrows for the appointed feasts I will remove from you’ they are a burden and a reproach to you. At that time I will deal with all who oppress you; I will rescue the lame and father those who have been scattered. I will give them praise and honor in every land where they were put to shame.  #RyanPhillippe 1 of 8

 

Be thankful for everything that God gives you and do not quench the Spirit. Kids, think about it this way, if your parents buy you are car with their hard earned money, and it may not be the exact car that you want, but if you are thankful and grateful and show joy, the next time your parents have some money and they see you are in need of something, they will reflect on how good you made the feel about the gifts and rewards they have given you in the past and bless you with even more. However, if your parents slaved to buy you that car and you throw a fit and tear it up, that will hurt their feelings and next time you need something, they will remember how you acted towards them and will refuse to help you. However, a polite greeting on a complimentary card will turn their heartfelt blessing into sunny warmth to be branded on their minds.  #RyanPhillippe 2 of 8

So in the same matter that if we show our parents that we are grateful for every gift they give us, when we pray, we need to thank God for our lives, jobs, school, education, and other goods and services. This will allow God to see that we are connecting with us and he will be happy to give us more in the future. And if you are thankful for your life, you may be spared in the event of an accident or if you really want to live on Earth again, because you did not finish your work, God could even make that possible. The pleasure you have brought about, the assistance you have offered, the love you have showed and the life you have lived—all these make you more amiable and respectable with every passing year in our hearts.  At that time, I will gather you; at that time, I will bring you home. I will give you honor and praise among all the peoples of the Earth when I restore your fortunes before your eyes.  #RyanPhillippe 3 of 8

The growing disparity between the beliefs of the scientific-love-seekers and the attitudes of our most eminent scientists has created a paradoxical situation: a majority of people are rushing in one direction to embrace the beliefs of early twentieth-century science—while many scientists of the late twentieth century are rushing in the opposite direction. Medicine—as an applied branch of science—is caught in the swirl. Medicine is in many ways still searching for absolute causes of physical illness. Only slowly is the idea of relativity creeping in; medicine is only just beginning to accept the idea that disease may have statistical rather than absolute causes. When you are ill, you should try to recover, when you are well, you should often take exercise.  #RyanPhillippe 4 of 8

Ironically, nineteenth-century physicians who relied on bedside manner to cure patients knew this principle implicitly, even though they may never have heard about electrons or atomic theory. They knew that their patients were changed–physically changed—by their bedside manner. This point has been demonstrated anew with twenty-first-century technology in the heart rate responses of patients to even the simplest types of interactions. The doctor—the healer—changes his patients merely by being there. I am pleased to receive the news of your success. Your diligence plus your genius has created a wide space for you. It is great that your life dream has come true. Congratulations on your success! Wish you happiness and success in the future!  #RyanPhillippe 5 of 8

The knack of success rests in doing and doing well all of your assignments. I hope that I am the first to congratulate you on your excellent research work. Relationships that evolve over the years cannot suddenly be disrupted nor destroyed without leaving the person physically changed. There is a gap—documented not only by the physicist, but more poignantly in the responses of terminal patients to  simple human comfort—and the implications of this gap ought to be recognized. The point is that the restoration of a medicine that bridges the gap, a medicine which moves beyond science, is not an issue that finds support only among foggy-eyed romanticists but is also a proposal supported by modern physics. We do not live in a solitary or purely objective World, nor can we live in isolation…we must either learn to live together or increase our changes of drying prematurely.  #RyanPhillippe 6 of 8

A man wholly solitary would be either a God or a brute. There is a brutality in many modern human relationships that directly stems from their very objectivity and the pervasiveness of such relationships in our culture is an omnipresent testimony to our interpersonal brutality. A purely objective relationship between two human beings can be brutal precisely because it is detached from human feelings—it is a relationship that by definition creates distance, loneliness, and estrangement, and which can, at its worst, permit completely inhumane actions. Happiness is found not in possession of wealth, but in the pleasure in success and the joy at the gush of creativity. A heartfelt blessing represents a tendering wish. May your wishes and pleasure be satisfied when you clip open the envelop and start to read this letter! #RyanPhillippe 7 of 8

Medicine, as an adviser to our society, can help restore respect for the healing power of human companionship and can help people see that they too can prevent and cure loneliness-induced disease by simply caring for one another. However, in order for medicine to accomplish this mission—to once again become an effective institution that uses both science and art to heal—the essential nonobjective nature of human relationships will have to be more openly recognized. And the LORD said: It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helpmate for him. #RyanPhillippe 8 of 8

 

There are jilts in friendship as well as in love; and, by the behavior of some men in both, one would almost imagine that they industriously sought to gain the affections of others with a view only of making the parties miserable. The young eagles of that day knew nothing of the blue sky and their hearts were filled with unsolved riddles. Now they can soar in the sky with the help of their strong wings to look for the answers to the riddles. However, no matter how high and how far they can fly, they will never forget their sweet home nor their parents’ bounties in bringing them up. If you think of someone meditating quietly, letting go of all focused thought, freeing oneself from pursuing any particular thought, emptying one’s awareness of specific content, you have some sense of the way the right hemisphere of the brain works. #RyaPhillippe 1 of 18

That new sense which is the gift of sorrow,–that susceptibility to bare offices of humanity which raises them into a bond of loving fellowship, as to haggard men among the icebergs the mere presence of an ordinary comrade stirs the deep fountains of affection. It is the left hand touch, the awkward, subtle, gentler response, the sensitive ability to resonate with what is. One is more vulnerable, more accessible, more open to blurring boundaries and distinctions, more connected and closer. The left hemisphere may be regarded as the active, intellectual expression of “I want.” The right hemisphere may be regarded as receptive, intuitive experience of “I am.” In the assertive response, life tends to be simpler and more concrete. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 18

In life it is difficult to say who do you the most mischief, enemies with the worst intentions, or friends with the best. Each hemisphere of the brain operates independently of the other. Each is unique, separate, distinguishable. Yet they are held together and coordinated by connecting fibers known as the corpus callosum. The corpus callosum may be thought of as the lines of communication between one side of the brain and the other, conveying messages back and forth. There is feedback between the two sides, thereby integrating information. In recent years a number of people have been found who, whether as the result of an accident or of special surgery, have had those connecting fibers severed. Thus, they are labeled as “split-brain” people and normal people have begun to produce data about the way our brains work and implications for the way we act. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 18

When amicable relations between two men happen to be in jeopardy, there is least danger of ensuing quarrel if the friendly intercourse has been of artificial growth on either side. In one experiment, split-brain patients saw the letters HEART flashed on a screen. They were asked to say what they saw, in other words, to respond from the left hemisphere. All of them reported: “I saw the word ART.” Then they were instructed to point with their left hand to what they saw; in other words, to respond from the right hemisphere. All of them pointed to HE. Different answers were given to the same question. Verbally, they gave one response to what they saw. Nonverbally, they gave another. In other experiments, split-brain people could spell words with their left hands when they were unable to say what they spelled. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 18

The stranger who looks into ten thousand faces for some answering look and never finds it, is in cheering society as compared with him who passes ten averted faces daily, that were once the countenances of friends. The right hemisphere is limited in its overall command of language. Although it can respond to a concrete none such as car, it has more difficulty with verbs, for example, not responding to simple printed instructions such as smile, or laugh. It is poorly developed grammatical sense is suggested by its inability to form the plural of a given word. At the same time the right hemisphere excels in such tasks as arranging blocks to match a pictured design or drawing a cube in three dimensions as seen in Figure above. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 18

Good fortune opens the hand as well as the heart wonderfully; and to give somewhat when we have largely received, is but to afford a vent to the usual ebullition of the sensations. The two hemisphere of the brain function separately but not simultaneously. When one side is active, the other is quiet. That has been ascertained by brain wave reaction patterns. In activation there is a decrease in the alpha waves; in rest there is an increase in the alpha waves. People who dream often, and with great enjoyment, of swimming, cleaving the waves, etc., have usually been bed-wetters, and they now repeat in the dream a pleasure which they have long since learned to forgo. #RyanPhillippe 6 of 18

Nothing more aggravates bad luck than the near approach to good luck. The gamester who loses by a single point laments his bad luck ten times as much as he who never came within a prospect of the game. The left hemisphere of the brain and the right are linked with control of the voluntary nervous system. The assertive, aggressive initiative comes out in active volition for the sake of biological and individual survival. Think of this metaphorically as the presence of the bright light of the sun. In 1707, in Worcestershire, England, one appeared which was so bright it made the stars and Moon disappear and left traces, in the form of a small white cloud, that lasted for half an hour. It the light of the Sun, I was dazed, I was burned. #RyanPhillippe 7 of 18

An honorable card hand should go with an honorable heart. The right hemisphere and the left side of the brain are linked with control of the autonomic nervous system. The receptive, unresistive taking-in comes out in passive volition for the sake of sociological and spiritual survival. Think of this metaphorically as the presence of the subtle light of the stars. In 1243, Matthew Paris’s Historia Anglorum: On 26 July of this year, one a perfectly clear night, brilliant stars were seen falling, scattering here and there in a manner so copious that if they had been real stars, none would be left in the sky. It was brilliant, it fragmented in air, and it was immortalized in a pair of paintings. There was no area bigger than three times the Moon that was not constantly brimming with meteors. #RyanPhillippe 8 of 18

Gambling is a sordid vice; an immorality; the child of avarice; and a direct breach of that commandment which forbids us to covet what is our neighbor’s. In active volition we tense the body, brace ourselves, tighten up to meet a challenge. In passive volition we relax the body, detach ourselves, let go of effort to be part of what is. People are desperate to stay unconscious. I often observe how often people touch that dial and turn on the television set the minute they enter a room and then walk around in a dream-like state, constantly being programmed by the data poured into them. People are terrified of facing themselves. They dread even a moment of aloneness. Thus the contestant frantic activities: the endless socializing, talking, texting, sexting, reading, Netflix and Chill, music playing, working, travelling, sightseeing, shopping, overeating, gambling, movie-going, pill-popping, drug-using, and cocktail partying with the FANTA. #RyanPhillippe 9 of 18

There is a progressive loss of awareness and an arrest of growth. Your ghost are very rude unsociable folk. Goblins and spirits have no more to do with darkness than with light. Gentlemaning as a profession has got to play out in a generation or two. It is a principle of his that no man who was not a true gentleman at heart, ever was, since the World began, a true gentleman in manner. There is a loss of creativity, energy, and real interest in others. There is a halting of spiritual growth and eventually the development of physical and emotional illness, disease, aging and premature death. The projection of these repressed feelings results in the social problems, disorders, and the increase of selfishness and callousness characteristic of our present society. #RyanPhillippe 10 of 18

Most of all, the effect is the inability to truly love and trust another person, which results in emotional isolation and self-hatred. You do not understand what friendship is—or what enmity is. You like everyone; that is to say, you are indifferent to everyone. Looking and seeing both start with sense perception, but there the similarity ends. When I look at the World and label its phenomena, I make immediate choices, instant appraisals—I like or dis like, I accept or reject, what I look at, according to its usefulness to the “Me”….THIS ME THAT I IMAGINE MYSELF TO BE, and that I try to impose on others. The two dreams were dreamed by the same person—a young man of pronounced homosexuality which, however, has been inhibited in life. #RyanPhillippe 11 of 18

How much more glorious a character is that of the friend of mankind than that of the conqueror of nations! The purpose of looking is to survive, to cope, to manipulate, to discern what is useful, agreeable, or threatening to ME, what enhances or what diminishes the Me. This we are trained to do from our first day. However, finally an overwhelming mass of evidence convinced me that in the case of men nothing other than the masturbatory desires of puberty furnish the motive power of these dreams. For it conceals also the painful reflection that in his striving after friendship he has often had misfortune to be thrown out, and the fear lest this fate may be repeated in the case of the young man by whose side he has enjoyed the performance of Fidelio. #RyanPhillippe 12 of 18

If the ghost of a man’s own father cannot be allowed to claim his attention, what can? When, om the other hand, I SEE—suddenly I am all eyes, I forget this Me, am liberated from it and dive into the reality of what confronts me, become part of it, participate in it. I no longer label, no longer choose…This is now followed by a confession, shameful to a man of his refinement, to the effect that once, after such a rejection on the part of a friend, his profound sexual longing caused him to masturbate twice in succession. He is witnessing a performance of Fidelio from the stalls of the operahouse; he is sitting next to L., whose personality is congenial to him, and whose friendship he would love to have. Suddenly he flies diagonally right across the stalls; he then puts his hand in his mouth and draws out two of his teeth. The mirthful laughter is a reliable symbol of spiritual health. Wish you pleasure and laughter every day in the coming year. #RyanPhillippe 13 of 18

 

The other dream is as follows: Two University professors of his acquaintance are treating him in my place. Once of them does something to his penis; he is afraid of an operation. The other thrusts an iron bar against his mouth, so that he losses one of two teeth. He is bound with four silk handkerchiefs. The extraction of a tooth by another is usually to be interpreted as castration. The sexual significance of this dream can hardly be doubted. The silk handkerchiefs all to an identification with a homosexual of his acquaintance. The dreamer, who has never achieved coition (nor has he ever actually sought sexual intercourse) with men, conceives the sexual act on the lines of masturbation with which he was familiar during puberty. #RyanPhillippe 14 of 18

I believe that the frequent modification of the typical dream due to dental stimulus—that, for example, in which another person draws the tooth from the dreamer’s mouth—will be made intelligible by the same explanation. It may, however, be difficult to understand how dental stimulus can have some to this significance. However, here I may draw attention to the frequent displacement from below to above which is at the service of sexual repression, any by means of which all kinds of sensations and intentions occurring in hysteria, which ought to be localized in the genitals, may at all events be realized in other, unobjectionable parts of the body. #RyanPhillippe 15 of 18

We have a case of such displacement when the genitals are replaced by the face in the symbolism of unconscious thought. This is corroborated by the fact that verbal usage relates the buttocks to the cheeks, and the atresia ani to the lips which enclose the orifice of the mouth. Those nose is compared to the penis in numerous allusions, and in each case the presence of hair completes the resemblance. Only one feature—the teeth—perhaps the representation of sperm being stole from a man. In Austria there is in use an indelicate designation for the act of masturbation, namely: To pull one out or to pull one off. I am unable to say whence these colloquialisms originate, or on what symbolisms they are based; but the teeth would very well fit in with the first two. #RyanPhillippe 16 of 18

Dreams of pulling teeth, and of teeth falling out, are interpreted in popular belief to mean the death of a connection. Dreams of flying or hovering for the most part pleasurably toned, were very frequent. I was hovering a little way above the street without touching the ground. I was very short of stature, and I shunned every sort of contamination involved by intercourse with human beings. My dream of suspension—which raised my feet above the ground and allowed my head to tower into their air—fulfilled both of my wishes. In the case of other dreamers of the same sex, the dream of flying had the significance of the longing: If only I were an eagle! Similarly, others become angels at night, because no one has ever called them angels by day. #RyanPhillippe 17 of 18

The intimate connection between flying and the idea of an eagle makes it comprehensible that the dream of flying, in the case of male dreamers, should usually have a coarsely sensual significance; and we should not be surprised to hear that this or that dreamer is always very proud of his ability to fly. A great many flying dreams, since the remarkable phenomenon of erection, which constantly occupies the human phantasy, cannot fail to be impressive as an apparent suspension of the laws of gravity (cf. the winged phalli of the ancients). The erotic element as the most important motive factor of the hovering dream refers to the strong sense of bodily vibration which accompanies this type of dream, and the frequent connection of such dreams with erections and emissions. #RyanPhillippe 18 of 18

Man does not speak by words alone. A mute glance of reproach has pierced the heart a tirade would have left untouched; and even an inarticulate cry may utter volumes. While admiring the scholarly purpose behind these woks, some of Harris’s friends regret that he appears to have turned away, if only for the time being perhaps, from the kind of writing which would give full play to his powers of imagination. He published a section of a novel, provisionally entitled Biography of a N-Hoper, anthology, Southern Festival, and its quality roused hopes that he was about to produce a novel of importance. They all insisted on telling me their life stories, and left me satisfied that all they want is recognition and affection. Stronger evidence that the youth Randolph Harris is dead, buried, and past all hope—or danger—of resurrection would be hard to find. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 26

Discussing the theme, Harris says: ‘I was a kid in Mt. Gambier in the economic depression, and this is a story of the unemployed largely in that area. A character who was a kind of king among them is the central figure. The novel is dry, unsentimental, and humorous. It is a gesture, among other things, against status-seeking and conformism.’ Harris says he loves writing ghosting books of memories for the great actor Ryan Phillippe, he admits that Ryan is a sociological phenomenon, and that was how we wrote this story. The Bourke Street boys did not understand it, while the highbrows said, ‘We handle Randolph and Matthew Ryan’s Memoirs should have been an Australian best-seller.” #RyanPhillippe 2 of 26

Enjoy journalism worthy of 139 Pulitzers. More than any other news organization. Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. Things like silent leaf blowers with zero emissions should would make life better, people could sleep without being disturbed and the air would be cleaner. However, some people profit off of bad things. As the glaciers continue to melt rapidly in, some people stand to profit off the collapse and extinction of Greenland and the Ice Sheets. Without the ice, ships can reach Japan five hours sooner, making billions more, and cut out 3,000 miles of travel, so some are happy for global warming. Senior citizens love it also, the heat makes their bones feel better and they can move around better. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 26

Is there such depravity in a man as that he should injure another without benefit to himself? People who seem to enjoy their ill temper have a way of keeping it in fine condition by inflicting privations on themselves. The devil is an unwearied tempter; he never fails to find opportunity for that wickedness he invites us to do. A democracy asserts the fact that the masses are now raised to a higher intelligence than formerly. All our civilization aims at this mark. Once we realize what our demons are, we are no longer fearful of them. Instead of taking them seriously, we can smile with compassion at the arrogance of these Sugar Bears of our imagination. We do not have to feed their ravenous hunger expect on our own terms, when to do so helps us achieve something worthwhile. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 26

Because men are by nature prone to sin, is therefore the devil a good being, and to deny a man the preferment which he merits, and to give it to another man who doth not, is a manifest act of injustice, and consequently inconsistent with both honor and honesty. It is next to idle merely to denounce an iniquity. The necessity of departure is like looking on the necessity of death. Men will not be depraved beyond the persuasion of some motive, and self-interest will often be the parent of social obligation. To be depriving themselves of the advantage of the other eyes and other judgments might be an evil even beyond the loss of present pleasures. If I could change back the clock, I would leave everything the same. I would not even undo the Christmas and New Year’s Hoax. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 26

The programming of human concerns as a legitimate scientific endeavor represents the central hope of all. In 2006 I believed….that science produced an objective knowledge of the World, which is governed by deterministic laws. The scientific method seemed to me superior to other, more subjective ways of forming a picture of the World—philosophy, poetry and religion; and even I thought the unambiguous language of science to be a step toward a better understanding between human beings. [By 2017, however], I believed none of these things. If we deny everything which we do not clearly comprehend, our knowledge will be reduced within very narrow bounds. My experiences went to making me what I am now and what I will become. #RyanPhillippe 6 of 26

The border between object and subject has been blurred, deterministic laws had been replaced by statistical one…I now regard my former beliefs in the superiority of science over other forms of human thought and behavior as a self-deception due to youthful enthusiasm. Distress is more apt to excite contempt than commiseration, especially among men of business, with whom poverty is understood to indicate want of ability. The enthusiasm of feeling will sometimes overcome distresses which the cold of heart prudence had been unable to endure. The perplexed mind is ever ready to suggest distressed thoughts. My work as a newspaper reporter was great, but I have little to show for all my exertions, expect my prestigious literary reputation. #RyanPhillippe 7 of 26

Those who have not in strict keeping that rare Winter fruit, called discretion, must lay their account with having the forfeit of it exacted from them in some shape or another. I will show you the man you are looking for. When the prince takes the lead, when the people willingly offer themselves—praise the LORD. God, the Earth shook, the Heaven poured, the clouds poured down water. The mountains quaked before the LORD. They asked each other, “Who did this?” When they carefully investigated, they were told, “Gideon son of Joash did it.” The men of the town demanded of Joash, “Bring out your son. He must die, because he has broken down Baal’s alter and cut down the Asherah people. We are sparks, we are shadows, we are pollen, which the next wind will carry away. We are dying already; it is all a dream. Do not ask us how we make our dream tally with facts. Dreams do not conifer themselves to the rules of drama. #RyanPhillippe 8 of 26

What is the reason, that though we know of these dreams, these feeling shadows of the night, to be no more than dreams, illusions of the working mind, fettered and debased as it is by the organs through which it conveys its confined powers to the grosser matter, body, then sleeping, in active, as in the shades of death; yet that we cannot help being strongly impressed by them, and meditating interpretation of the flying vapors, when reason is broad awake and tells us that it is weakness to be disturbed at them? I know I have to start all over again, and I threw myself into my work. My bookselling business is growing, but it will be a while before I reach the level I would like. #RyanPhillippe 9 of 26

Are you try to save him? Whoever fight for him shall be put to death by morning! If Baal really is god, he can defend himself when someone breaks down the alter. Let Baal contend with hum because he broke down Baal’s altar. Baal means owner or lord. Baal designated the Universal god of prosperity and in the capacity his title was Prince, Lord of the Earth. He was born on Earth Day and is also called the Lord of Rain and Dew, the two forms of moisture that are indispensable for the fertile soil in Canaan. Baal’s epithet as the storm god was He Who Rides on the Clouds. In Phoenician he was called Baal Shamen, Lord of the Heavens. #RyanPhillippe 10 of 26

Baal was locked in mortal combat with Mot, the god of death. If Baal wins, the Earth and people will gain in material and natural and spiritual wealth, but if he is vanquished, people on Earth will suffer drought and starve. Currently, 3,500,000 children die from hunger each year. The Angel of the LORD came and sat down under the oak in Ophrah that belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, where his son Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress to keep it from the Midianites. When the Angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, “The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.” #RyanPhillippe 11 of 26

However, sir, if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our fathers told us about when they said, ‘Did not the LORD bring us up out of Egypt?’ However, now the LORD has abandoned me and put me into the hand of Midian. The expression seemed the labored sentiments of a man fearful he should not say enough and therefore ran into the contrary extreme, and said too much. Must not a person be capable of premeditated are who can sit down and write, and not write from the heart? #RyanPhillippe 12 of 26

The LORD turned to me and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Sacramento out of Midian’s hands. Am I not sending you?” How can I save Sacramento? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family. The LORD answered, “I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites together.” If now I have found favor in your eyes, give me a sign that it is really you talking to me. Please do not go away until I come back and bring my offering before you. And the LORD said, “I will wait for you to return and never leave your side for all eternity.” #RyanPhillippe 13 of 26

The dream is an expression of thoughts hardly known to my waking state; thought which deal with love of the sense and its organs; I am prepared for a “birth-day,” i.e. what the youth call Netflix and Chill; the fear of defloration and perhaps the pleasurably toned pain find expression; I admit my physical imperfections and do not over-compensate for them by means of estimation of the value of my virginity. My shame excuses the material considerations, which are foreign to the lover, find expression here. The affect of the simple dream—the feeling of bliss—shows that my strong emotion complexes have not yet found satisfaction. #RyanPhillippe 14 of 26

Dream of a Chemist (A young man who has been trying to give up his habit of masturbation by substituting intercourse with a special person in his life).
Preliminary statement: On the day before the dream had been instructing a student as to Grignard’s reaction, in which magnesium is dissolved in absolutely pure ether under the catalytic influence of iodine. Two days earlier there had been an explosion in the course of the same reaction, in which someone had burned his hand. #RyanPhillippe 15 of 26

Dream I. He is going to make phenylmagesiumbromide, which is a Grignard reagent. It is often used as a synthetic equivalent for the pheny’ “PH-“ synthon, and can produce light. He sees the apparatus with particular distinctness, but he has substituted himself for the magnesium. He is now in a curious, wavering attitude. He keeps on repeating himself: “This is the right thing, it is working, my feet are beginning to dissolve, and my knees are getting soft.” Then he reaches down and feels for his feet, and meanwhile (he does not know how) he takes his legs out of the carboy, and then again he says to himself: “That cannot be…Yes, it has been done correctly.” #RyanPhillippe 16 of 26

Then he partially wakes, and repeats the dream to himself, because he wants to tell it to me. He is absolutely afraid of the analysis of the dream. He is much excited during this state of semi-sleep, and repeats continually: “Phenyl, phenyl. I beseech you not to measure the firmness of my faith, by the fewness of my words, but rather think that the overflowing waves of good will will leave no passage for many words. The empty vessel giveth a greater sound than the full barrel.” The innocent house: long have my ears been accustomed to such inversions of words. Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. #RyanPhillippe 17 of 26

II. He is in…with his whole family. He is supposed to be at the Schottentor at half-past eleven in order to keep an appointment with the young man in question, but he does not wake until half-past eleven. He says to himself: “It is too late now; when you get there it will be half-past twelve.” The next moment he see the whole family gathered about the table—his mother and the parlourmaid with the soup-tureen with peculiar distinctness. Then he says to himself: “Well, if we are sitting down to eat already, I certainly cannot get away.” #RyanPhillippe 18 of 26

He feels sure that even the first dream contains a reference to the young man he is to meet at the place of rendezvous (the dream was dreamed during the night before the expected meeting). The student who he was instructing is a particularly pleasant fellow; the chemist had said to him: “That is not right, because the magnesium was still unaffected,” and the student answered, as though he were quite unconcerned: “Nor it is.” He himself must be the student; he is as indifferent to his analysis as the student is to his synthesis; then he in the dream, however, who performs the operation, is myself. How in love with him I am even with him seeing indifference to the result! #RyanPhillippe 19 of 26

The leg in the dream recall an impression of the previous evening. He met a young man at a park of whom he wished to make a conquest; he pressed him to him so closely that he cried out. As he ceased to press his legs he felt him firm, responding pressure against his lower thighs as far as just above the knees, the spot mentioned in the dream. In this situation, then, the man is the magnesium in the retort, which is at last working. He is feminine towards me, as he is virile towards the young man. If he succeeds with the young man, the treatment will also succeed. #RyanPhillippe 20 of 26

Feeling himself and becoming aware of his knees refers to masturbation, and corresponds to his fatigue of the previous day…The rendezvous had actually been made for half-past eleven. His wish to oversleep himself and to keep to his sexual object at home (that is, masturbation) corresponds to his resistance. He says, in respect to the repetition of the name phenyl, that all these radicals ending in yl have always been pleasing to him; they are very convenient to use: benzyl, acetyl, etc. That, however, explained nothing. We have to improve our standards, and make sure there is not a scintilla of anything that could be suggested to be biased. #RyanPhillippe 21 of 26

However, when I proposed the root Schlemihl he laughed heartily, and told me that during the Summer he had read a book by Prevost which contained a chapter: Les exclus de l’amour, and in this there was some mention of Schlemilies; and in reading of these outcasts he said to himself: “That is my case.” He would have played the Schlemhl if he had missed the appointment. It seems that the sexual symbolism of dreams has already been directly confirmed by experiment. Sexual material was replaced by symbols with which psychoanalytic dream-interpretation has made us familiar. The vast majority of our programs are not controversial, but once in a while there was a slip-up in editorial judgment. #RyanPhillippe 22 of 26

 

Thus, following the suggestion that the dreamer should dream of homosexual relations with a young man friend, this friend appeared in the dream carrying a nice travelling-backpack, upon which there was the label with the printed words: “For men only.” The dreamer was believed never to have heard of dream-symbolization or of dream-interpretation. It was interesting when experiments were performed by Betlheim and Hartman, because they eliminated hypnosis. My first significant piece of writing, after the affair, had become a memory, a longish set of verses called The Tantanoola Tiger, a retelling of antiquated legend in sharp, salty, unromantizied terms. I have published other verses since then, and these have won me new respect from serious critics such as Kyle Good and Richard Robinson the President and Chief executive of Scholastic. #RyanPhillippe 23 of 26

These authors told stories of crude sexual content to confused patients suffering from Korsakoff’s psychosis (psychosis results from permanent damage to areas of the brain involved with memory and produced confusion and loss of mental activity that can progress to coma and death), and observed the distortions which appeared when the material contained symbols made familiar by interpretation of dreams (climbing stairs, stabling and shooting as symbols of intercourse, knives and cigarettes as symbols of the penis). Special value was attached to the appearance of the symbol of climbing the stairs, for, as the authors justly observed, “a symbolization of this sort could not be effected by a conscious wish to distort.” #RyanPhillippe 24 of 26

They are consolation dreams, directed against another anxiety perceived in dreams—the fears of death. To depart is one of those most frequent and one of the most readily established of the death-symbols. The dream therefore says consolingly: “Reassure yourself, you are not going to die (to depart),” just as the examination-dream calms us by saying: “Do not be afraid; this time, too, nothing will happen to you. You are bright kindling and ignite the light of students inner heart; you are the loveliest person under the Sun. My heart will love you forever.” The difficulty in understanding these both kinds of dreams is due to the fact that the anxiety is attached precisely to the expression of consolation. French expression professes more than it performs. #RyanPhillippe 25 of 26

During its heyday in the 1920-1940s, the Lodge was a getaway for the rich and famous. Joan Crawford, Tyrone Power, Howard Hughes, Henry Ford, Hedy Lamarr, President Herbert Hoover and Rita Hayworth were among the notables who signed the guest register—plus more than fifteen million not-so-famous tourists who came to eat in the restaurant. One of the family member drowned in the dining room. Then came a series of disasters. One of the original buildings burned to the ground. Five people died in the fire. There was also a serious flood, then another fire. Most recently, the lodge has a reputation as a hangout for alleged drug dealers, and drug LORDS. #RyanPhillippe 26 of 26