We youth say “like” all the time because we mistrust reality. It takes a certain commitment to say something is. Inserting “like” gives you a bit more room. The urban humans may have a core group of people with whom one’s interactions are sustained over long periods of time, but one also interacts with hundreds, perhaps thousands of people who one may see only once or twice and who then vanish into anonymity. All of us approach human relationships, as we approach other kinds of relationships, with a set of built-in durational expectancies. We expect that certain kinds of relationships will endure longer than others. It is, in fac, possible to classify relationships with other people in terms of their expected duration. These vary, of course, from culture to culture and from person to person. Nevertheless, throughout wide sectors of the population of the advanced technological societies, there are certain patterns that we have come to expect. Long-duration relationships—we expect ties with our immediate family, and to a lesser extent with other kin, to extend throughout the lifetimes of the people involved. This expectation is by no means always fulfilled, as rising divorce rates and family break-ups indicate. Nevertheless, we still theoretically marry “until death do us part” and the social ideal is a lifetime relationship. #RandolphHarris 1 of 24

Medium-durational relationships—four classes of relationships fall within this category. Roughly in order of descending durational expectancies, these are relationships with friends, neighbours, job associates, and co-members of churches, clubs and other voluntary organizations. Friendships are traditionally supposed to survive almost, if not quite, as long as family ties. The culture places high value on “old friends” and a certain amount of blame attaches to dropping a friendship. One type of friendship relationship, however, acquaintanceship, is recognized as less durable. Neighbour relationships are no longer regarded as long-term commitments—the rate of geographical turnover is too high. They are expected to last as long as the individual remains in a single location, an interval that is growing shorter and shorter on average. Breaking off with a neighbour may involve other difficulties, but it carries no great burden of guilt. On-the-job relationships frequently overlap friendships, and less often, neighbour relationships. Traditionally, particularly among white-collar, professional and technical people, job relationships were supposed to last a relatively long time. This expectation, however, is also changing rapidly, as we shall see. #RandolphHarris 2 of 24

Co-membership relationships—links with people in church or civic organizations, political parties, and the like—sometimes flower into friendship, but until that happens such individual associations are regarded as more perishable than either friendships, ties with neighbours or fellow workers. Short-duration relationships—most, though not all, service relationships fall into this category. These involve sales clerks, delivery people, gas station attendants, milkmen, barbers, hairdressers, et cetera. The turnover among these is relatively rapid and little or no shame attaches to the person who terminates such a relationship. Exceptions to the service patterns are professionals such as physicians, lawyers, and accountants, with whom relationships are expected to be somewhat more enduring. This categorization is hardly airtight. Most of us can cite some “service” relationship that has lasted longer than some friendship, job or neighbour relationship. Moreover, most of us can cite a number of quite long-lasting relationships in our own lives—perhaps we have been going to the same doctor for year or have maintained extremely close ties with a college friend. #RandolphHarris 3 of 24

Long-lasting relationships are hardly unusual, but they are relatively few in number in our lives. They are like long-stemmed flowers towering above a field of grass in which each blade represents a short-term relationship, a transient contact. It is the very durability of these ties that makes them noticeable. Such exceptions do not invalidate the rule. They do not change the key fact that, across the board, the average interpersonal relationship in our life is shorter and shorter in duration. When the infant is born one leaves the security of the womb, the situation in which one was still part of nature—where one lived through one’s mother’s body. At the moment of birth one is still symbiotically attached to mother, and even after birth one remains so longer than most other terrestrial beings. The more complete the separation is, the greater the need to replace the original biological roots by new affective roots. Yet there remains a deep craving not to sever the original ties or a deep craving to find a new situation of absolute protection and security, to return to the lost paradise. So one can be dependent or progress and find new roots in the World by one’s own efforts, by experiencing the fraternity of humans, and by freeing oneself from the power of the past. #RandolphHarris 4 of 24

Humans, aware of their separateness, need to find new ties with one’s fellow humans; one’s very sanity depends on it. Without strong affective ties to the World, one would suffer form utter isolation and lostness. However, one can relate oneself to others in different and ascertainable ways. One can love others, which requires the presence of independence and productiveness, of if one’s sense of freedom is not developed, one can relate to others symbiotically—id est, by becoming part of them or by making them part of oneself. In this symbiotic relationship one strives either to control others (sadism), or to be controlled by them (masochism). If one cannot choose either the way of love or that of symbiosis, one can solve the problem by relation exclusively to oneself (narcissism); then one becomes the World, and loves the World by “loving” oneself. This is a frequent form of dealing with the need for relatedness (usually blended with sadism), but it is a dangerous one; in its extreme form it leads to some forms of madness. A last malignant form of solving the problem (usually blended with extreme narcissism) is the craving to destroy all others. If no one exists outside of me, I need not fear others, nor need I relate myself to them. By destroying the World, I am saved from being crushed by it. #RandolphHarris 5 of 24

Continuing urbanization is merely one of a number of pressures driving us toward greater “temporariness” in our human relationships. Each age is to do its fair share in achieving the conditions necessary for just institutions and the fair value of liberty; but beyond this more cannot be required. Now it may be objected that particularly when the sum of advantages is very great and represents long-term developments, higher rates of saving may be demanded. Some may go further and maintain that inequalities in wealth and authority violating the second principle of justice may be justified if the subsequent economic and social benefits are large enough. To support their view they may point to instances in which we seem to accept such inequalities and rates of accumulation for the sake of the welfare of later generations. With the people from old money, their wealth is arranged so as to place the increased income in the hands of those least likely to consume it. The aristocratic rich in 19^th century America, they were not brought up to large expenditures and preferred to the enjoyments of immediate consumption the power which investment gave. They spend money on fixed assets, like their homes, which could be passed on. #RandolphHarris 6 of 24

It was precisely the inequality of the distribution of wealth which made possible the rapid build-up of capital and the more or less steady improvement in the general standard of living of everyone. This is a justification of the capitalist system. If the rich have spent their new wealth on themselves, such a regime would have been rejected as intolerable. The capital investments by the rich created jobs, public works projects, and provided the money to back credit and mortgage loans. While there are many ostensible injustices in the system, there is no real possibility that these could have been removed and the conditions of the less advantaged made better. Under other arrangements, the position of the labouring people would have been even worse. When people become identified with one’s social role and feel too little, they often lose themselves by reducing oneself to a thing; the existential split is camouflaged because humans become identified with their social organization and forget that they are a person; one becomes a nonperson. One is, we might say, in a negative ecstasis; one forgets oneself by creasing to be “he” or “her,” by creasing to be a person and becoming a thing. Human’s awareness of oneself as being in a strange and overpowering World, and one’s consequent sense of impotence could easily overwhelm one. #RandolphHarris 7 of 24

Trespasses upon these people who are seen or fell as if they are nonpersons of things, then would lead to an even greater injury, especially to those on whom injustice falls. If one experiences oneself as entirely passive, a mere object, one would lack a sense of one’s own will, of one’s identity. To compensate for this one must acquire a sense of being able to something, to move somebody, to be “effective.” We use the word today in referring to an “effective” speaker or salesperson, meaning one who succeeds in getting results. To effect is the equivalent of: to bring to pass, to accomplish, to realize, to carry out, to fulfill; an effective person is one who has the capacity to do, to effect, to accomplish something. To be able to effect something is the assertation that one is not impotent, but that one is alive, functioning, human being. To be able to effect means to be active and not only to be affected; to be active and not only passive. It is, in the last analysis, the proof that one is. The principle can be formulated thus: I am, because I effect. An essential motive in the child’s play is joy in being a cause; children take pleasure in making a clatter, moving things around, playing in puddles, and similar activities. We demand a knowledge of the effects and to be ourselves the producers of these effects. #RandolphHarris 8 of 24

One of the basic drives of humans is competence motivation. Effectance is the motivational aspect of competence. It seems almost as if this compulsive transformation from the passive to the active role is an attempt, even though it may at times be unsuccessful, to heal still open wounds. Perhaps the general attraction of sin, of doing the forbidden, also finds its explanations here. Not only does that which is not permissible attract, but also that which is not possible. It seems that humans are profoundly attracted to move to the personal, social and natural borders of one’s existence, as if driven to look beyond the narrow frame in which one is forced to exit. This impulse may be an important conducive factor in great discoveries, as well as in great crimes. In studying depression and boredom one can find rich material to show that the sense of being condemned to ineffectiveness—id est, to complete vital impotence (of which pleasures of the flesh is only a small part)—is one of the most painful and almost intolerable experiences, and humans will do almost anything to overcome it, from drug and work addition to cruelty and worse. Observations of daily life indicate that the human organism as well as other terrestrial beings are in need of a certain minimum of excitation and stimulation, as they are of certain minimum of rest. We are that humans eagerly respond to and seek excitation. #RandolphHarris 9 of 24

The difference between people—and cultures—lies only in the form taken by the main stimuli for excitation. By becoming actively interested, seeing and discovering ever-new aspects in your “object” (which ceases to be a mere “object”), by becoming more awake and more aware. You do not remain the passive object upon which the stimulus acts, to whose melody your body has to dance, as it were; instead you express your own faculties by being related to the World; you become active and productive. The simple stimulus produces a drive—id est, then person is motivated by it; the activating stimulus results in a striving—id est, the person is actively pursuing a goal. If learning means to penetrate from the surface of phenomena to their roots—id est, to their cause, from deceptive ideologies to the naked facts, thus approximating the truth—it is an exhilarating, active process and a condition for human growth. (I do not refer here only to book learning, but to the discoveries a child or an illiterate member of a primitive tribe makes of natural or personal events.) A place one knows well automatically becomes boring, so that excitement can be had only by visiting difference places, as many as possible in one trip. #RandolphHarris 10 of 24

In such a framework, associates, friends, and partners also need to be changed to produce excitation. Urbanization, as suggested earlier, brings great masses of people into close proximity, thereby increasing the actual number of contacts made. Furthermore, geographical mobility not only speeds up the flow of places through our lives, but the flow of people as well. The increase in travel brings with it a shapr increase in the number of transient, causal relationships with fellow human beings, casual relationships with passengers, with hotel clerks, taxi drivers, airline reservation people, with porters, maids, with colleagues and friends of friends, with customs officials, travel agents and countless others. The greater the mobility of the individual, the greater the number of brief, face-to-face encounters, human contacts, each one a relationship of sorts, fragmentary and, above all, compressed in time. (Such contacts appear natural and unimportant to us. We seldom stop to consider how few of the one hundred and seven billion human beings who preceded us on the planet ever experienced this high rate of transience in their human relationships.) Changes are taking place all the time, but they are gradual. When you move, you break all these ties you created in the community, usually at once, and you have to start all over again. #RandolphHarris 11 of 24

Moving usually requires you to find a new pediatrician, new dentist, a new auto science engineer who will not cheat you, and you quit all your organizations and start over again. It is the simultaneous rupture of a whole range of existing relationships that makes relocation psychologically taxing for many. The more frequently this cycle repeats itself, of course, in the life of the individual, the shorter the duration of the relationships involved. Among significant sectors of the population this process is now occurring so rapidly that it is drastically altering traditional notion of tie with respect to human relationships. At a cocktail party in Rocklin the other night, the talk got around to how long those at the part had lived at Cresleigh Rocklin Trails. To nobody’s surprise, it developed that the couple of longest residence had been there five years. In slower moving ties and places, five years constituted little more than a breaking-in period for a family moved to a new community. It took that long to be “accepted.” Today the breaking-in-period must be highly compressed in time. Thus we have in many American suburbs a commercial “Welcome Wagon” service that accelerate the process by introducing newcomers to the chief store and agencies in the community. Even babies soon become aware of the transience of human ties. The “nanny” of the past has given way to the baby-sitter service which sends out a different person each time to mind the children. And the same trend toward time-truncated relationships is reflected in the demise of the family doctor. #RandolphHarris 12 of 24

Each time the family moves, it also trends to slough off a certain number of just plain friends and acquaintance. Left behind, they are eventually all but forgotten. Our friends float past; we become involved with them; they float on, and we must rely on hearsay or lose track of them completely they float back again, and we must either renew our friendship—catch up to date—or find that they and we do not comprehend each other anymore. Also, high turnover characterizes the mass communication and technology sectors. There is also high turnover among those groups most characteristic of the future—the scientists and engineers, the highly educated professionals and technicians, the executives and managers. It was found that 70 percent had changed their jobs within the last two years. It was once seen as odd for a person to have 5 or 6 jobs in twenty years, but nowadays that is normal and employers are simply looking for an explanation as to why you could not stick to one career or in one location for a lifetime. Obsolescence seems to be an imminent problem for management because for the first time, the relative advantage of experience over knowledge seems to be rapidly decreasing. Because it takes longer to train for modern management and the training itself becomes obsolete in sometimes less than five years. #RandolphHarris 13 of 24

As a result of the rate at which new products that are all powered by computers are pushing pushed off the assembly lines, we may have to start planning careers that move downward instead of upward through time. We have seen Jeff Bezos make headlines by stepping down as CEO of Amazon to become an executive chair, and a change like this gives a corporation time to become more innovative and more creative. The more successful you are in attracting the comers, the higher your potential turnover rate is. The comers are movers. The defection of a key executive starts not only a sequence of job changes in its own right but usually a series of collateral movements. When the boss moves, one is often flooded by requests from his or her immediate subordinates who want to go along; if one does not take them, they immediately begin to put out other feelers. The greater the diversity available in both work and leisure, the greater the specialization, and the more difficult it is to find just the right friends. Thus it has been estimated that a minimum population of 1,000,000 is needed to provide a professional worker today with twenty interesting friends. The housewife or househusband who seeks temporary work as a strategy for finding friends is considered highly intelligent. #RandolphHarris 14 of 24

By increasing the number of people one is thrown into work contact with, one increases the mathematical probability of finding a few colleagues who share one’s interests and aptitudes. We select our friends out of a very large pool of acquaintanceships. The average American has a pool of acquaintanceships ranging from 500 to 5,000 people. And with social media, people now have anywhere for 100 new connections to 100,000 on average. It is not unusual for city schools to have a turnover of more than half their student body in one year. This phenomenal rate cannot but have some effect on the children. A good-looking student who carried on with many girl friends and was very successful in this sector of his life reported life was great, but sometime he felt a little depressed. One girl, hospitalized in a state mental hospital, has slashed her wrists and explained her act by saying that she wanted to see if she had any blood. This was a girl who felt nonhuman, without any response to anyone; she did not believe she could express or, for that matter, feel, any affect. (Schizophrenia was excluded by a thorough clinical examination.) Her lack of interest and incapacity to respond was so great that to see her own blood was the only way in which she could convince herself that she was alive and human. #RandolphHarris 15 of 24

One of the boys in training school, for instance, threw painted rocks up on top of his garage and let them roll down, and would try to catch each rock with his head. His on his head. His explanation was he got the idea from watching the news and this was the only way in which he could feel something. He made five suicidal attempts. He cut himself in areas that would be painful and always made it known to the guards that he had done so in order that he could be saved. He reported that feeling the pain made him feel at least something. Some other kids did things that are even more heinous. There was a need for these students to overcome their unbearable sense of boredom and impotence and the need to experience that there is someone who will react, someone whom one can make a scene, some deed that will make an end of the monotony of daily experience. Some people take this out on themselves, others act out and take it out on innocent people. It is not out of evil, usually. This discussion of depression-boredom has dealt only with the psychological aspects of boredom. This does not imply that neurophysiological abnormalities may not also be involved, but they could only play a secondary role, while the decisive conditions are to be found in the overall environmental situation. #RandolphHarris 16 of 24

 I think it is highly probable that even cases of severe depression-boredom would be less frequent and less intense, even given the same family constellation, is a society where a mood of hope and love of life predominated. However, in recent decades the opposite is increasingly the case, and thus a fertile soil for the development of individual depressive states is provided. Normal boredom is usually not conscious. Most people succeed in compensating for it by participating in a great number of activities that present them from consciously feeling bored. Eight hours of the day they are busy making a living; when the boredom would threaten to become conscious, after business hours, they avoid the danger by the numerous means that prevent manifest boredom: Bible study, playing cares, watching television, taking a ride, exercise, going to parties, joining a book club, and some other activities that may be considered unproductive. If the boredom has not been experiences consciously at any point, eventually their natural need for sleep takes over, and the day is ended successfully. Only if one appreciates the intensity caused by unrelieved boredom, can one have any idea of the power of this impulse. #RandolphHarris 17 of 24

Among the working class boredom is much more conscious than among the middle and upper classes, as amply evidence in workers’ demands in contract negotiations. They lack the genuine satisfaction experienced by many persons on a higher social level whose work allows them, at least to some extent, to be involved in creative planning, exercising their imaginative, intellectual, and organizational faculties. That this is so is clearly borne out by the fact, amply demonstrated in recent years, that the growing complaint of blue-collar workers today is the painful boredom they experience in their working hours, besides their more traditional complaint about insufficient wages. Industry tries to remedy this in some cases by what is called “job enrichment,” which consists of having the worker do more than one operation, planning and laying out one’s own job as one likes, and generally assuming more responsibility. This seems to be an answer in the right direction, but it is a very limited one considering the whole spirit of our culture. It has also often been suggested that the problem does not lie in making the work more interesting but in shortening it to such an extent that humans can develop one’s faculties and interest in one’s leisure time. However, the proponents of this idea seem to forget that leisure time itself is manipulated by the consumption industry and is fundamentally as boring as work, only less so. #RandolphHarris 18 of 24

There is also push to mandate a $15 an hour minimum wage, which sounds like a great idea until you consider what will happen. There is already a growing push to automate and illuminate many jobs, and this will only give corporations more of an incentive to do so. Also, a bank employee who has worked one’s way up from $10.00 an hour to $19.00 would have their wages and skills undercut, for example. Furthermore, it would drive up cost of food, housing, transportation, and hurt the segments of the population who are often overlooked, including retired, senior citizens, disabled, those on welfare and the unemployed. Work, human’s exchange with nature, is such a fundamental part of human existence that only when it ceases to be alienated can leisure time become productive. This, however, is not only a question of changing the nature of work, but of a total social and political change in the direction of subordinating the economy to the needs of humans. The person who continues to feel “empty” and unmoved on a deeper level anesthetizes this uncomfortable feeling by momentary excitation—but remains bored. A very body lawyer felt like a slave and was in intense mental pain and depression. The only thing that kept him going is that he made a lot of money and could afford to buy things to make himself happy. #RandolphHarris 19 of 24

Otherwise, such persons are affectively frozen, feel no joy—but also no sorrow or pain. They feel nothing. The World is gray, the sky is not blue; they have no appetite for life and often would rather be dead than alive. Sometimes they are acutely and painfully aware of this state of mind, often they are not. Chronic neurotic depression people are more sever than those with depression-boredom. Such persons are not away of feeling depressed, yet it can be easily demonstrated that they are. The terms more recently used, “masked depression” or “smiling depression,” seem to characterize the picture quite well. The diagnostic problem is still more complicated by the features in the clinical picture that lend themselves to a diagnosis of a “schizoid” character.  Perhaps we deal, in the persons suffering from chronic, uncompensated boredom, with a peculiar blend of depressed and schizophrenic elements in varying degrees of malignancy. They frequently do not seem to be bored or depressed at all. They can adapt themselves to their environment and often seem to be happy; some are apparently so well adapted that parents, teacher, minister praise them as models. Others, but sometimes also these “models,” come to the attention of the authorities due to a variety of criminal acts and are considered “asocial” or “criminal,” although not bored or depressed. #RandolphHarris 20 of 24

Usually they tend to repress the awareness of being bored; most of all they want to appear perfectly normal to everyone else. When they come to a psychotherapist they will report that they find it difficult to choose a career, or to study, but generally they tend to present as normal a picture as they can. It takes a concerned and skilled observer to discover the sickness hidden behind the smooth, cynical surface. People in Hollywood who are sometimes criticized as pushing immorality do not, in general, see themselves in this way. Rather, they regard themselves as pushing a higher and better morality. Darkness is not presented at light. You hear slogans like, “We care,” from media outlets when you know all they actually care about is revenue and ratings. Traditional Christian practice is held up as morally inferior to the values sponsored by Hollywood presentations and as having been intellectually discredited. Of course the same is true of the Islamic critique of “the West.” Can we learn anything from these voices? At the present time, popular culture and political parties have largely taken over the attack, though government is still involved in various ways—especially in education. Lyrics of popular music before the Beatles and Bob Dylan did not undertake to critique traditional (Christian) teachings. #RandolphHarris 21 of 24

Just look back at the lyrics of Perry Como and Doris Day. Even Elvis—while he was perceived as threatening to Christian behaviour—did not critique it. He did not find Christian teachings inferior to his own moral insight. However, all of that changes with the Beatles and Bob Dylan. In them all the bitterness of the precious generation’s literary writings broke through to the general culture. They profess to have seen through “The Establishment.” This is a major turning point for contemporary life. Darkness was then said to be light and was portrayed as light artistically. Of course this could not have happened but for the work of our “greatest thinkers” of recent centuries. They become the cultural authorities, though hardly anyone could claim to understand them. That shift at the popular level set the trend for the present; and now the vilest and most brutal “music” unleased upon the popular scene is delivered with an assurance of moral superiority and self-righteouness so palpable and pervasive that most people, I think, cannot recognize it for what it is. And that is now true of all the art forms. Indeed, many of the other forms were a century ahead of popular music in sponsoring darkness as light. In any case, moral assuredness and self-righteousness in the practice of what, traditionally, would have been regarded as blatant evil is now the single most dominant feature in our World. #RandolphHarris 22 of 24

Pleasure of the flesh and violence in the media is but one symptom of this overwhelming fact and is very far from being the central issue. The central issue is the replacement of Jesus Christ as the light of the World. Why is God so hidden, God is so elusive, the Spirit of the World as if it never were? Because the eternal and infinite Being is forever seeking to express itself in the Universe in which its attributes can appear only under times and in space, that is, never in their full and real nature. This means that God is not in this World (as he really is) and that his elusiveness could not be otherwise if he is to be the true God. Reality is everywhere and nowhere. The World is impregnated with it. Mind and flesh dwell within it. The World-Mind is in us all, reflected as “I.” This is why ever-deeper pondering and penetration are needed to remove the veil of individuality and perceive BEING. God is the Subject of all subjects. In one sense He can never be known. It being the very Subject of all subjects how can we know it? To know means to objectify a thing, and the Supreme Subject can never become an object. In another sense, God is more than known to us. For it is our very Self. What proof do we want for our very existence? Television brings simultaneously to millions the same picture, the same personalities, and the same voices. Just so is God present simultaneously to every individual in the whole World. #RandolphHarris 23 of 24

We describe this mysterious life-power as infinite because so far as we know, so far as reason can guide us or intuition tell us, so far as the great seers and prophets teach us, it is boundless in time and space; we can trace no beginning to it and see no ending for it. A mighty bull in the field, a penetrating mind at work: choosing the appropriate made, you find no opposition. Lord of talents, be with me in my efforts. Please bring my plans to fruition. The breath of every living being shall bless Thy name, O Lord our God, and the spirit of all flesh shall ever glorify and extol Thee, O our King. From everlasting to everlasting Thou art God. However, for Thee we have no King, Deliverer and Saviour to rescue, redeem and give sustenance and to show mercy in all times of trouble and distress; yea, we have no Sovereign but Thee. The divine deeds, the former miracles, the sages of yore remember. There is no other creator in the World; thou alone art, both founder and disposer and omnipresent Being. Could any miracle be impracticable for thee? Or could I mention one possible for thee through someone else only? Since thou art thyself the Creator of everything therefore all this is but thee. The most wonderful deed is not too difficult for thee. #RandolphHarris 24 of 24

Cresleigh Homes

The large eat-in island not only has a great view of the outdoor dining area, but also can enjoy the modern lighting and ample storage space in this #MillsStation Residence 3 kitchen. https://cresleigh.com/mills-station-walkthroughs/

Cresleigh Ranch offers a traditional sense of community spirit that meets luxury living. At Mills Station, you will enjoy the tranquility of relaxed country living and serenity in a natural environment in close proximity to transportation, shopping, and dinning.

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