Today our Problem is not making miracles—but managing them. I am going to build the kind of nation the President Roosevelt hoped for, President Trump is working to create (one of great financial prosperity, where one can still look forward to the American Dream), and President Kennedy died for. Research has indicated that eighty-four percent of Americans agree that a major cause of disrespect in our society is the fact that too many parents are failing to teach respect to their kids. Seventy-five percent of Americans want parents to teach their kids that cursing is always wrong. Only 19 percent of Americans never curse. These last two points highlight a major contradiction in American attitudes toward children’s rude behaviour. As adults, we are all part of the problem—and the potential solution. Whether you are a parent or not, it does not matter. Children learn by mimicking adult behaviour. Let me repeat that: Children learn by mimicking adult behaviour. The key to teaching our children to respect really grows out of self-respect. We need to teach by example and to show our children that we have respect for the, both as our children and as our eternal brothers and sisters. “The Lord God hath given a commandment that all humans should have charity, which charity is love,” reports 2 Nephi 26.30. #RandolphHarris 1 of 24

Today we live in times of conflict, differences of opinion, disagreements. There is a need for us, perhaps more than ever before, to allow respect, charity, and forgiveness to influence our actions. Children learn for our behaviour, so if you swear in front of your kids they will think it means, “A grown adult swearing—that must mean that when I get really mad, it is okay to swear.” When children hear adults threatening other people they will think, “A grown adults threatening revenge—that must mean that it is okay to do violence to another person as long as I can justify it.” These horrible and incorrect philosophies will become imprinted in their memories. Therefore you can see, as children are observers, you do not have to have a kid of your own to have an impact on them. When it comes to teaching kids to be more respectful and less rude, there is no magical spell I know of to resolve this matter. It is a process that involves all of us and that will take time. We all need to recognize that how we act will be reflected in the behaviour and attitudes of tomorrow’s adults. We must understand respect, reasons we sometimes act disrespectfully, and find principles in the gospel to help us be better teachers. #RandolphHarris 2 of 24

If every adult starts making a conscious decision to model considerate, respectful behaviour in one’s daily life, kids will start reflecting that behaviour. The sooner we do this, the sooner our children’s good behaviour will be reinforced. There are at least two definition of respect. The first refers to being polite or civil to those we meet or with whom we interact. This would include being respectful of a teacher. We hope grandchildren will treat grandparents respectfully during visits. We usually treat strangers with polite respect. Another meaning, however, refers to our feelings toward those who merit respect through honourable living. We admire their commitment or standards. For example, we might respect a supermodel who gave up winning a modeling competition on a yacht to save a man who fell overboard. On the other hand, we do not respect one who embezzles or another who treats the elderly, disabled, or children harshly in the supermarket. Yet if we were to interact with these people, we would likely treat them with respectful or polite manners, regardless of our feelings about their transgressions. #RandolphHarris 3 of 24

Ultimately, even if we do not honour or admire their acts, we can treat people respectfully. As parents and leaders, we are to honour both definitions. We want children not only to treat us with respect—using good manners—but also to honour our standards, which we seek to exemplify through Christlike living. Be extra careful around children. You are already influencing children every time you are around them by the way you act, speak, and carry yourself. Being the male parent is not simply a matter of taking a larger role in chores around the house in order to take pressure off your mate so one can focus on raising the children. Being a male, dominant male, parent, or dominant parent also mean being a part of the child care—and not just in the first few weeks. It means being an equal partner in the care of your children for the next few decades of their lives, and then some. Sharing the load sometimes involves serious sacrifice. For instance, on any given Sunday afternoon, just as Tom Brady throws a Hail Mary pass to put the game into overtime, the phone rings. My daughter is one the line: “Can you pick me up now?” My wife is making dinner, so I have to make sure she gets home safely. #RandolphHarris 4 of 24

While the gospel teaches us to be respectful toward others without qualification, sometimes we may find ourselves falling into rationalization about being disrespectful based on their behavior. A person who causes a problem is often seen as warranting disrespectful treatment. In other words, if others would have behaved differently, we would not have to behave badly. Going bad on a person is a kind of thinking that shifts responsibility for our behaviour to others. It makes us think that our disrespectful acts are someone else’s fault. Children pick this up quickly. When they are impolite, they often justify their disrespect with the excuse that other humans or living being or inanimate objects do not deserve good treatment. Also, keep in mind, dads cannot always be fun. Discipline is part of parenting, and for it to work, both partners have to participate. The mom, or non-dominant parent cannot always be the judge and jury. If you are always the parent who consoles the children and play good officer, the non-dominant will resent you for making them the enforcer. Be willing to be a parent who enforce the law, and support your spouse in their choices when one has to enforce the law. #RandolphHarris 5 of 24

Respect is an expression of our sense of universal humanity—a testimony of our membership in the human family. It acknowledges our common humanity and shows our reverence for children of God. The gospel teaches us that we are to hold the same esteem for others that we hold for ourselves. “And again I say unto you, let every human esteem others humans as oneself,” reports Doctrine and Covenants 38.25. I have heard more primary school holiday concerts than I care to remember. Each one was important to Leo and Annie, and it was so important that both of their parents were there to share in their performance. Whether your child is the star or a member of the chorus, you make time to attend, you applaud thunderously, and you congratulate your child as though it was one’s opening night on Broadways. Acting disrespectfully suggest we do not esteem the other person as ourselves. “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that humans should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets,” reports Matthew 7.12. Take the time to listen to your children. They have wonderful thoughts and an ever-fresh perspective, and talking with them will bring those thoughts out. #RandolphHarris 6 of 24

When I was a young parent, I could always tell the kids whose parents listened to them. If I was driving them home after a visit, they were the kids who would talk your ear off, even though you were a relatively unfamiliar adult. Those conversations were always a joy, especially compared to driving a kid home whose vocabulary consisted of grunted, monosyllabic responses to my questions. Time passes quickly. Before you know it, those little toddlers will be off living on their own. So make the effort to share in the raising of your kids. In the process of raising them, you will build a stronger relationship with your spouse and give your kids the best possible opportunity to grow up happy and successful. Prejudice is a result of disrespect for our fellow humans. We cannot participate in attitudes of prejudice without distancing ourselves from others. True respect, then, comes as we develop our ability to love our brothers and sisters as ourselves. Gossip, another everyday form of disrespect, is incompatible with love. What we say about people in their absence should be what we would say to them with love while they are in our presence. #RandolphHarris 7 of 24

As adults, we admit that we are modeling bad behaviour, but we want and expect different behaviour from our kids. Learning does not work that way. When my older daughter was in grade school, I discovered this. She had a teacher whom I firmly believed was the perfect example of what is wrong with the guaranteed job policies in private education—and one day I voiced my displeasure about her in from of my daughter. I remember it so clearly. A short while later, during a discussion about a problem my daughter was having with a teacher, I heard my daughter spout my back at me. And then she said, “I pray you get to hear my craft.” The lightbulb immediately went off in my head: How could I possibly expect her to follow my admonition to “respect her teacher” when I was teaching her to disrespect that same person? Kids do not understand, “Do as I say, not as I do.” They do understand “Do as I do.” Feeling empathy for others is a symptom of respectful behaviour, while feeling unsympathetic is a symptom of disrespectful acts. A good friend of mine coaches his son’s lacrosse team. When I learned this, I could not help but think: Here is a formula for disaster. However, it happens every day and dads can do it successfully. #RandolphHarris 8 of 24

Be impartial. The key is to look at your child as a team member and not as your son, your daughter, your competition, a pay check, or your enemy. You have taken on the job so you have sone very difficult task. When it is your child sitting on the bench, this can be tough. At the start of the season, talk with your child. Explain that you love him or her but you also have to be the coach for the team and that means no favouritism. It is important not only for both your sakes but for the effect your impartiality will have on the other players and their parents as well. Yelling, berating and/or sarcasm do not work as motivator, especially for children. Children want to learn; they want to improve. And when their teacher, parent, or coach instructs them in a beneficial, constructive way, the child preforms best. Respect is also synonymous with care about. Sometimes we excuse our disrespect, even for people we care about, by holding against them their lack of caring or concern for us. To feel compassion, one has to give up one’s attitude of resentment and disrespect. Protect yourself, defend yourself by transforming yourself and no longer use anyone’s bad behaviour to justify your own poor behaviour. #RandolphHarris 9 of 24

We are so proud of our kids. We want them to do well. We want their team to be the best. And sometimes we get caried away: We see a call on the sport’s field that seems unfair, and we scream at the ref. We see the coach call our son or daughter out of the game, and we scream at the coach. We see a teammate make an unwise play, and we scream at the teammate. We see our own son or daughter miss a play they have made hundreds of times in the backyard, and we scream at him or her. All this screaming does not work. The referee is not going to change one’s call; the coach is not about to suddenly see things your way and send your kid back in; the teammate is not going to magically turn into an all-star candidate. And your son or daughter is now likely to be more focused on your incessant, embarrassing screaming than on one’s own play. Youth leagues now have spectator standards, and they are serious about enforcing them. They will even require parents to watch a video and sign a statement promising that they will adhere to the league’s standards of spectator behaviour. #RandolphHarris 10 of 24

They are serious: one infraction and the offending parent is placed on probation. A second infraction and they are banded from attending future events. “And ye will not have a mind to injure one another, but to live peaceably, and to render to every human according to that which is one’s due,” reports Mosiah 4.13. To promote greater respect within families and youth groups, we must teach correct principles and share good examples. Chatter. Whispering. Complaining to each other. Parents do it all the time with other parents on their kids’ youth teams. Frankly, it drives the coaches and the league organizers crazy. The parents band together and then approach the coach. “Strength in numbers,” they think t themselves. If you believe this is a good idea, I have a bridge in Oakland I would like to talk to you about. You are a parent, you are in the stands, and you should be supportive not only of your kids, but of the coaches and the program as well. If others start jabbering, try to stop them or at least refuse to be part of their grousing. Respect is an expression of Christlike living. It is closely linked to all other qualities we are counseled to cultivate. #RandolphHarris 11 of 24

We must cultivate patience, long-suffering, humanly kindness, and love unfeigned. It is a feature of selfless service and humble repentance. When healing or dissolving hostilities, it is essential. Respect for others shows reverence for God and his creations. Through showing respect, we truly feel more a part of the human family and recognize and honour our common divine parentage. Teach your children to respect their neighbours. Teach your children to respect their bishops and the teachers that come to their homes to teach them. Teach your children to respect their elders. Teach your children when they go to school, they should honour their teachers in that in which is true and honest, in that which is manly and womanly, and worthwhile. Teach your children to honour the law of God and the law of the state and the law of our country. Teach them to respect and hold in honour those who are chosen by the people to stand at their head and execute justice and administer the law. Teach them to be loyal to their country, loyal to righteousness and uprightness and honour, and thereby they will grow up to be men and women of choice above all the men and women of the World. #RandolphHarris 12 of 24

How do we know when we are being treated respectfully or disrespectfully? Do we sometime rationalize our treatment of others because of their behaviour? How can we avoid this? Why does developing love for others lead to respectful treatment of them? Are you aware of someone who is being treated disrespectfully? How might you show respect to that person? The greatest danger to our prospects for spiritual transformation at this point is that we will fail to take all this talk about respect and our body being the temple of God literally. It may help us to consider ordinary situations of temptation. Temptation is a matter of being inclined to do what is wrong. However, where do those inclinations primarily reside? The answer is, they primarily exist in the parts of our body. Those inclinations are actually present in those parts and can even be felt there by those who are attentive to their body and who are informed, thoughtful, and willing to admit what they find upon careful reflection. Others, too, can recognize the tendencies present in our bodily parts—hands, feet, shoulder, eyebrows, loins, tongue, overall posture—and they can play upon those tendencies, to trap us, ensnare us, use us, destroy us. #RandolphHarris 13 of 24

Those who purposefully prey upon others constantly play upon tendencies they can use to destroy others. They become experts at it. These various tendencies actually present in our bodily parts can move our body into action independently of our overall intentions to the contrary—often quite genuine—and of our conscious thoughts. Thus we act or speak “before we think.” The part of our character that lives in our body carries us away. The tongue, for example. James said that “the tongue is a small part [member, mela] of the body,” reports James 3.5. However, “the tongue is a fire, the cosmos of iniquity. The tongue is set among our members s something which defiles the entire body, setting fire to the natural course of things and itself on fire by hell,” reports James 3.6. James had no doubt observed the incredible power of the tongue to stir up the inclinations of the whole body and of all its parts—our own body as well as that of others. Have you observed this? It is perhaps the last bodily part to submit to goodness and rightness. No one can tame it, James said, and indeed that is right. Physical violence usually always introduced by verbal violence. #RandolphHarris 14 of 24

It is only as we habitually subject the tongue to the grace of God as instrument reserved for him, to do His will, that grace comes literally to inhabit and govern it. And when that happens the effects spread throughout all the body. “If anyone does not stumble in word,” James said, “that is a perfect human, able even to guide one’s entire body aright,” reports James 3.2. “The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver,” reports Proverbs 10.20, and “A healing tongue is a tree of life,” reports Proverbs 15.4. Other members of the body, though not as central to life as the tongue, have their own readiness to act wrongly, with the associated feeling states—“Haughty eyes,” the wise man said, “a lying tongue, hands to shed innocent blood, and feet that run quickly to the devil,” reports Proverbs 6.17-18. If they have not already been permeated by the real presence of Christ, the shoulders, the stomach and the private parts, the fists and the face are constantly moving us away from God. A person caught up in rage or lust or resentment—or religious self-righteousness, for that matter—is basically one whose body has taken over and, at least for the moment, is totally running one’s actions or even life. #RandolphHarris 15 of 24

Sometimes we say, “I just lost my temper.” “Temper” refers to the capacity to handle all kinds of situations and maintain one’s balance. It is in fact close to character, as when we say of someone that they are “acting out of character” or “are out of pocket” or “are not themselves” today. However, what does one lose one’s temper or character to? Things will be happening around us, of course, and they may get blamed, as a baby spanks the floor where it falls on it. However, what we lose or temper or our “control” to, what begins to govern our action at that point, is precisely our body and the inclinations to wrong that, as Paul and James both knew, actually inhabit its parts as living forces. You can verify this by carefully observing the bodily behaviour of the next person you see in a rage. God does not need us. He is perfectly capable of carrying out His plans without our leadership. However, wonder of wonders, joy of joys, He has chosen to use us. We must take our call to leadership seriously. We must glory in the work, but never in ourselves. Nonetheless, one thing is for sure: leadership must have a dream, a vision, a mental image, a precise goal of what is to be accomplished. #RandolphHarris 16 of 24

Vision is the currency of leadership.  A vision or dream must grab the leader, and when it does, it will pull others long. The challenge of leadership is so great today because modern humans are dreamless. Next, a leader must not only have a dream, one must be able to communicate it. This is true with artists, educators, military leaders, fast-food franchisers. A great leader communicates with clarity, whether by speech, metaphor, diagram, or model. Good leaders then delegate and orchestrate. They surround themselves with competent people. They build consensus. And they elevate the people with whom they work. Good leaders lead by demonstration. They pull people along with them instead of pushing them. General Eisenhower used to demonstrate the art of leadership in a simple but forceful way. He would place a single piece of sting on a table and say, “Pull it and it follows wherever you want it to go; push it and it goes nowhere. Good leaders are determined. Nothing in the World can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful humans with a great talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. #RandolphHarris 17 of 24

Education will not; the World is full of educated derelicts. Persistence, determination along are omnipotent. Humans, if we wish to be good leaders we must recognize and embrace this conventional wisdom: vision, communication, delegation, and organization, demonstration, and determination. We laud and commend all this, but we must practice it as well. However, there is far more beyond this in our call to spiritual leadership. If we are embraced as disciplines of spiritual leadership, our collective energy will provide the animus for wisely living out conventional leadership wisdom. Put another way, the transcending wisdom of spiritual leadership will energize and elevate other types of wisdom we have received—thus producing dynamic leadership. Mature leadership is rare in the Church. Are you part of the problem or the answer? Be honest with yourself and God. Humans, if we sincerely want to improve our leadership capacities there are some things we must word for: The commitment to and practice of intercessory prayer. The pursuit of a great and growing vision of God. A growing worship of and devotion to God. #RandolphHarris 18 of 24

We must also have a big-hearted magnanimity that thrills at the elevation of others. A Faith that transcends the doubts of others. A liberating understanding and embracing of one’s expendability. Rise up, people of God! The Church for you does wait, her strength unequal to her task; rise up, and make her great! In what ways does God want you to take a greater stand of faith? “And it came to pass that Jared and his brother, and their families, and also the friends of Jared and his brother and their families, went down into the valley which was northward, (and the name of the valley was Nimrod, being called after the mighty hunter) with their flocks which they had gathered together, male and female, of every kind. And it came to pass that when they had come down into the valley of Nimrod the lord came down and talked with the brother of Jared; and he was in a cloud, and the brother of Jared saw him not. And it came to pass that the Lord commanded them that they should go for the into the wilderness, yes, int that quarter where there never had man been. And it came to pass that the Lord did go before them, and did talk with them as he stood in a cloud, and gave directions whither they should travel.” #RandolphHarris 19 of 24

“And it came to pass that they did travel in the wilderness, and did build barges, in which they did cross many waters, being directed continually by the hand of the Lord. And the Lord would not suffer that they should come forth even unto the land of promise, which was choice above all other lands, which the Lord God has preserved for a righteous people. And he had sworn in his wrath unto the brother of Jared, that whoso should possess this land of promise, from that time henceforth and forever, should serve him, the true and only God, or they should be swept off when the fulness of his wrath should come upon them. And now, we can behold the decrees of God concerning this land, that it is a land of promise; and whatsoever nation shall possess it shall serve God, or they shall be swept off when the fulness of his wrath small come upon them. And the fullness of his wrath cometh upon them when they are ripened in iniquity. For behold, this is a land which is choice above all other lands; wherefore one that doth possess it shall serve God or shall be swept off; for it is the everlasting decree of God. And it is not until the fullness of iniquity among the children of the land, that they are swept off. #RandolphHarris 20 of 24

“And this cometh unto you, O ye Gentiles, that ye may know the decrees of God—that ye may repent, and not continue in your iniquities until the fullness come, that ye may not bring down the fullness of the wrath of God upon you as the inhabitants of the land have hitherto done. Behold, this is a choice land, and whatsoever nation shall possess it shall be free from bondage, and from captivity, and from all other nations under Heaven, if they will but serve the God of the land, who is Jesus Christ, who hath been manifested by the thing which we have written. And now I proceed with my record; for behold, it came to pass that the Lord did bring Jared and his brethren forth even to the lands. And as they came to the sea they pitched their tents; and they called the name of the place Moriancumer; and they dwelt in tents, and dwelt in tents upon the seashore for the space of four years. And it came to pass at the end of four years that the Lord came again unto the brother of Jared, and stood in a cloud and talked with him. And for the space of three hours did the Lord talk with the brother of Jared, and chastened him because he remembered not to call upon the name of the Lord. #RandolphHarris 21 of 24

“And the brother of Jared repented of the evil which he had done, and did call upon the name of the Lord for his brethren who were with him. And the Lord said unto him: I will give thee and they brethren of their sins; but thou shalt not sin any more, for ye shall remember that my Spirit will not always strive with man; wherefore, if ye will sin until ye are fully ripe ye shall be cut off from the presence of the Lord. And these are my thoughts upon the land which I shall give you for your inheritance; for it shall be a land choice above all other lands. And the Lord said: Go to work and build, after the manner of barges which ye have hitherto built. And it came to pass that the brother of Jared did go to work, and also his brethren, and built barges after the manner which they had built, according to the instructions of the Lord. And they were small, and they were light upon the water, even like unto the lightness of a fowl upon the water. And they were built after a manner that they were exceedingly tight, even that they would hold water like unto a dish; and the bottom thereof was tight like a dish; and the sides thereof were tight like unto a dish; and the ends thereof were peaked; and the top thereof was the length of a tree; and the door thereof, when it was shut, was tight like unto a dish. #RandolphHarris 22 of 24

“And I came to pass that the brother of Jared cried unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, I have performed the work which thou hast commanded me, and I have made the barges according as thou directed me. And behold, O Lord, in them there is no light; whither shall we steer? And also we shall perish for in the we cannot breathe, save it is the air which is in them; therefore we shall perish. And the Lord said unto the brother of Jared: Behold, thou shalt make a hole in the top, and also in the bottom; and when thou shalt suffer for air thou shalt unstop the hole and receive the air. And if it be so that the water come upon thee, behold, ye shall stop the hold, that ye may no perish in the flood. And it came to pass that the brother of Jared did so, according as the Lord had commanded. And he cried again unto the Lord saying: O Lord, behold I have done even as thou hast commanded me; and I have prepared the vessels for my people, and behold there is no light in them. Behold, O Lord, wilt thou suffer that we shall cross this great water in darkness? And the Lord said unto the brother of Jared: What will ye that I should do that ye may have light in your vessels? #RandolphHarris 23 of 24

“For behold, ye cannot have windows, for they will be dashed in piece; neither shall ye take fire with you, for ye shall not go by the light of fire. For behold, ye shall be as a whale in the midst of the sea; for the mountain waves shall dash upon you. Nevertheless, I will bring you up again out of the depths of the sea; for the winds have gone forth out of my mouth, and also the rains and the floods have I sent forth. And behold, I prepare you against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come. Therefore what will ye that I should prepare for you that ye may have light when ye are swallowed up in the depths of the sea?” reports Ether 2.1-25. As the Sun retreats you enter the sky. Create the night, Great Father. Produce for your children a dark sky. Create our dreams that will fill our sleep. God standeth in the holy assembly, He pronounceth judgment: How long will ye judge unjustly, and favour the persons of the wicked? Do justice to the poor and fatherless; deal righteously with the afflicted and destitute. Rescue the poor and needy; deliver them out of the hand of the wicked! #RandolphHarris 24 of 24

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