On some bright essence could I lean, and lull myself to immortality. We are not really pacifists, we are just nonviolent soldiers. As long as you feel insecure, you have no real capacity to face other men and women in that skill of communication which more than any other skill requires freedom from tension. By communication I did not of course mean only intellectual conversation but the whole aesthetic of emotional relations; when one first begins to examine one’s experience, one will find most of their delights in natural things, and this will facilitate the ability to chiefly reckon each day’s catch of happiness in terms of one’s relationships with others. While we go about our day being able to work or study, we should think continually of others who are denied that happiness by their material circumstances or their health. One brilliant Summer morning at Gunsbach, during the Whitsuntide holidays—it was in 1896—there came to me, as I awoke, the thought that I must not accept this happiness as a matter of course, but must give me something in return for it. Proceeding to think the matter out at once with calm deliberation, while the birds were singing outside, I settled with myself before I got up, that I would consider myself justified in living till I was thirty for the science and art, in order to devote myself from that time forward to the direct service of humanity. #RandolphHarris 1 of 24

Many a time already I had tried to settle what meaning lay hidden for me in the saying of Jesus! “Whosoever would save his life shall lose it, and whosoever shall lose his life for My sake and the Gospel shall save it.” Now the answer was found. In addition to the outward, I now had inward happiness. What would be the character of the activities thus planned for the future was not yet clear to me. I left it to circumstances to guide me. One thing only was certain, that is must be directly human service, however inconspicuous the sphere of it. Those who are so favoured as to be able to embark on a course of free personal activity must accept this good fortune in a spirit of humility. They must often think of those who, though willing and capable, were never in a position to do the same thing. And as a rule they must temper their own strong determination with humility. They are almost always destined to have to seek and wait till they find a road open for the activity they long for. Happy are those to whom the years of work are allotted in richer measure than those of seeking and waiting. Happy those who in the end are able to give themselves really and completely! #RandolphHarris 2 of 24

I have often recognized that the need to do something special was born of a restless spirit. Such persons want to dedicate themselves to larger tasks because those that lay nearest do not satisfy them. Often, too, it was evident that they had been brought to their decisions by quite secondary considerations. Only a person who can find a value in every sort of activity and devote oneself to each one with full consciousness of duty, has the inward right to take as one’s object some extraordinary activity instead of that which falls to one’s lot naturally. Only a person who feels one’s preference to be as a matter of course, not something out of the ordinary, and who has not thought of heroism, but just recognizes a duty undertaken with sober enthusiasm, is capable of becoming a spiritual adventurer such as the World needs. There are no heroes of action: only heroes of renunciation and suffering. Of such there are plenty. However, few of them are known, and even these not to the crowd, but to the few. My thirtieth birthday, I spent like the man in the parable who desiring to build a tower, first count the cost whether he have wherewith to complete it. #RandolphHarris 3 of 24

Several times, indeed, it was my experience that my appeal to the act of obedience which Jesus’ command of love may under special circumstances call for, brought upon me an accusation of conceit, although I had, in fact, been obliged to do violence to my feelings to employ this belief at all. In general, how much I suffered through so many people assuming a right to tear open all the doors and shutters of my inner self! As a rule, too, it was of no use allowing them, in spite of my repugnance, to have a glimpse of the thoughts which had given birth to my resolution. They thought there must be something behind it all, and guessed at disappointment as the slow growth of y reputation. For this there was no ground at all, seeing that I have received, even as a young man, such recognition as others usually get only after a whole life of toil and struggle. Unfortunate love experiences were also alleged as the reason for my decision. I felt as a real kindness the action of persons who made no attempt to dig their fists into my heart, but regarded me as a precocious young man, not quite right in one’s head, and treated me correspondingly with affectionate mockery. #RandolphHarris 4 of 24

However, only one, who thanks to his own ability or the devotion of friends is in Worldly matters a free man, can venture nowadays o take the path of independent activity. This consciousness cannot be got from another human by transfer (although its presence in one may be felt by sensitivity) but only by one’s own hard toil. The right action done in the wrong way becomes wrong in itself. Although it is right to look towards a teacher for guidance and inspiration throughout the course of one’s quest, it is wrong to become over-dependent on that teacher. People approach the saint-type primarily to get what is called in India a darshan. This may be variously translated as a glimpse, a spoken blessing, a sight, a view, an initiation, or a silent benediction. One is a phenomenon and they stand at a distance to gaze at one, to admire one, or to be overwhelmed with awe by one. The few minutes or days or weeks or months or years taken up—the duration is immaterial for extension in time does not change the nature of the happening—leave the devotee with the same character, the same consciousness that one had before the meeting. Its service is to portray the goal, not to being one nearer to perfection in any way. The delusion that the longer they stay with one the farther they travel on the road to perfection remains a delusion still. #RandolphHarris 5 of 24

The darshan leaves them with their weakness and faults, their egoism and animality untouched. The work of getting rid of these things is theirs to undertake and no darshan-magic can be substitute for it. The belief that a self-actualized person will do for one once and for all what in the end one has to do for oneself belongs to the untutored masses and the sectarian mystic circles. Only the self-deceived or the charlatanic will offer to save you. All others will offer only to guide you. You must labour for yourselves. It is the common way to demand entry into enlightenment through someone else. This renders it needful to make clear that nobody, not even the best of the self-actualized, can possibly pass on and there are not many with that capacity. Even in such cases, one’s disciples must work diligently and win it themselves. The service of a spiritual director in correcting errors, providing instruction, stimulating aspiration, and fostering intuition are immense; but they are only a prelude to the services a student must render to oneself. Those who leave their spiritual future totally in the hands of their guide, lose the years which could be spent in developing themselves. #RandolphHarris 6 of 24

It is not enough to receive a teaching from someone else. The truth of the teaching must be tested by personal experience, the worth of it should be measured by personal knowledge. Of all the will for the ideal which exists in humankind only a small part can be manifested in action. All the rest is destined to realize itself in unseen effects, which represent, however, a value exceeding a thousandfold and more that of the activity which attracts the notice of the World. Its relation to the latter is like that of the deep sea to the waves which stir its surface. The hidden forces of goodness are embodied in those persons who carry on as a secondary pursuit the immediate personal service which they cannot make their lifework. The lot of the many is to have as a profession, for the earning of their living and the satisfaction of society’s claim on them, a more or less soulless labour in which they can give out little of nothing of their human qualities, because in that labour they have to be little better than human machines. Yet no one finds oneself in the position of having no possible opportunity of giving oneself to others as a human being. The problem produced by the fact of labour being today so thoroughly organized, specialized, and mechanized depends only in part for its solution on society’s not merely removing the conditions thus produced, but doing its very best to guard the rights of human personality. #RandolphHarris 7 of 24

What is even more important is that sufferers shall not simply bow to their fate, but shall try with all their energy to asset their human personality amid their unfavourable conditions by spiritual activity. Anyone can recuse one’s human life, in spite of one’s professional life, who seizes every opportunity of being a human by means of personal action, however unpretending, for the good of fellow humans who need the help of a fellow human. Such a person enlists in the service of the spiritual and good. No fate can prevent a human from giving to others this direct human service side by side with one’s lifework. If so much of such service remains unrealized, it is because the opportunities are missed. It is the guide’s duty to hold up a gasolier on a dark path but the disciple must decide for oneself the speed and distance of the journey along that path. No command is laid upon one, for it is one who must estimate the strength within one and the opportunity without. One is given full freedom in making one’s decision. It is unfortunately the case that many emotionally unstable persons are attracted to mysticism, with the result that they spend years with their dreams of magical achievement but do nothing to convert those dreams into realities, or else flit from one dream to another. #RandolphHarris 8 of 24

That everyone shall exert oneself in that state of life in which one is placed, to practice true humanity toward one’s fellow humans, on that depends the future of humankind. Enormous values come to nothing every moment through the missing of opportunities, but the values which do get turned into will and deed mean wealth which must not be undervalued. Our humanity is by no means so materialistic as foolish talk is continually asserting it to be. Judging by what I have learned about men and women, I am convinced that there is far more in them of idealist will power than ever comes to the surface of the World. Just as the water of the streams we see is small in amount compared to that which flows underground, so the idealism which becomes visible is small in amount compared with what men and women bear locked in their hearts, underground waters to the surface: humankind is waiting and longing for such as can do that. If the student responds sufficiently to the hints given one or the counsel bestowed on one, the teacher will be encouraged to go father. The uneasiness which many feel in the teacher’s presence is partly caused by the fact that there are negative qualities in themselves which are not present in the teacher. However, partly it is also caused by their miscomprehension of one’s character. #RandolphHarris 9 of 24

The righteous teacher does not attempt to criticize, judge, or condemn them, nor to approve or disapprove of them. One accepts that this is not one’s business for one accepts that evolution has made them what they are, both the good and bad in them. To this extent their uneasiness is unnecessary. The freedom to be who one deeply is strikes an especially resonant chord in underrepresented and marginalized communities. A primary concern of existential psychotherapy is the relationship among freedom, limitation, and choice. The daily question for many people, even the rich and famous is: “With whom can I be myself?” The dangers are real. Physical safety, economic security, and acceptance by others are threatened. And hiding one aspect of the self affects other dimensions of the self, such as self-esteem, creativity, and the ability to love. Even for those who appear to be comfortable with who they are, the issue goes deeper. It saddens and angers people that they cannot talk to people about their lives or express who they really are because they are around people who expect them to always be kind and understanding, so people have to create these carefully mastered personalities, but it may not reflect their full character. #RandolphHarris 10 of 24

Repressed individuals even go as far as to make statement which have been carefully crafted to make people feel better. Many individuals cannot just change the subject; this is their life. As a result, people who are repressed turn to long term celibacy so they are able to fully embody who they are since they cannot express their full humanness. Therapeutic work concerning the freedom to express oneself and therapeutic work touching on identity issues are mutually reinforcing. As people gain a greater sense of self and possibilities, they also learn to accept themselves; as they learn to accept themselves, they become increasingly more able to express all of who they are and to experience a widening sense of possibilities. One lady, Katrina, who had developed an inflammatory condition had to totally change her life. Doctor’s noticed that when she was under stress, the condition would flare up and recommended a lifestyle change because something was wrong in her environment. The young woman had to go to cognitive therapy, go on medication for the inflammation, end her romantic relationship and become celibate for years, she even quit her job, and moved. #RandolphHarris 11 of 24

While undergoing this life style change, the lady also made the decision not to receive any financial support from her parents. The general physician overseeing her general healthy needs, noticed as the woman became more responsible for herself, this enforced her sense of freedom to express who she truly was and her health had started improving after three years of celibacy. She learned to “check in” with herself—not merely to think about particular issues but to resonate to them, to experience them kinesthetically. She learned did not simply run from her problems, she learned to counter her constriction and productively regenerate her life. This inspired her to become response-able—personally, socially, and spiritually. Spiritual discipline is an activity undertaken to bring us into more effective cooperation with Christ and His Kingdom. In any human endeavour, repetitive exercise and practice bring skill and excellence. Sometimes a particular activity is good because it accomplishes a specific result. If it produces a base hit, swinging a baseball bat is good. However, that same activity can also be done, not for the result alone, but for the training it offers. #RandolphHarris 12 of 24

A person can repeatedly swing a bat in a batting cage for the purpose of training, and not to increase one’s output of base hits. And other good results can follow from such training besides the one usually or normally intended; for example, regular trips to a batting cage can get a person in good overall condition besides helping one get base hits. The same thing is true of study. We often correctly approach study specifically for some direct end—preparing a lesson or learning a topic covered in a book. However, study should also be approached as a set of training activities, as spiritual and intellectual exercises. Study is a discipline that strengthens the mind and enriches the soul. Sometimes I study a book for the sheer value of engaging my intellect in a stretching, strenuous activity. As other times, I read to help myself cultivate the intellectual virtues that will bring one closer to God. Seen as discipline, study becomes a means of building my character, ingraining habits of thought and reflection, and reinforcing my own soul the value of the life of the mind. We study, then, not simply to gain knowledge about the topic of study, but as a broader spiritual discipline. #RandolphHarris 13 of 24

By way of application, it is important to read books from time to time as a form of spiritual discipline and intellectual exercise, even if the topic of the book does not address one of your immediate, felt needs. If all you do is read simple books or those that overemphasize stories or practical application, you will never learn to think of yourself as a mature Christian, nor will you develop a trained mind. Peace if the rest of will that results from assurance about how things will turn out. It is always a form of active engagement with good, plus assurance that things will turn out well. “I am at peace about it,” we say, and this means I am no longer striving, inwardly or outwardly, to save some outcome dear to me or to avoid one that I reject. I have released whatever is at issues and am no longer even putting “body English” or “spin” on it or inwardly gritting my teeth. Of course everyone is at peace about some things, one hopes, but few have peace in general, and fewer still have peace that reaches their body and its automatic responses to such a depth that it does not live in a covert state of alarm. Ultimately it will be by one’s own efforts alone that one uncovers the wisdom and beauty one is seeking—and which are even now within one. Such efforts, in order to be successful, must be courageous and continuous. #RandolphHarris 14 of 24

Repeated failures should serve only to stimulate deeper determination. In the end each seeker has to become one’s own teacher by putting all one’s experience, one’s beliefs, one’s ideas, to the test. Most people carry heavy burdens of care, and usually about the things that are most important in life: what will happen to their loved ones, their finances, health, death, their physical appearance or what others think of them, the future of society, their standing before God and their eternal destiny. To be at peace with God and others (family, neighbours, and coworkers) is a great attainment and depends on graces far beyond ourselves as well as on our own efforts. That is also true of being at peace with oneself. Peace with God comes only from acceptance of one’s gift of life in His Son. “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God,” reports Romans 5.1-2. We are then assured of the outcome of our life and are no longer trying to justify ourselves before God or others. We have accepted that we are not righteous or even totally competent and that we cannot be so on our own. #RandolphHarris 15 of 24

We have laid down the burden of justifying ourselves before God and are learning not to justify ourselves before humans. This is the pace that grows from within us. It is possible to being this truth within the mind’s sight and within the will’s reach as long as we do our own work. Whoever offers one a free redemption plays God. Form those around me I must simply assume grace and mercy, not that I will get what I deserve. I am a beggar on my way through the World. Justice is not enough for my needs, and I could not stand it if I got it. When others do not extend the grace and mercy I need, I have to draw on the grace and mercy I need, I have to draw on the abundance of it in God. “Who is this that is condemning me?” I remind myself, “Jesus even died for me, was raised from the dead, and is now standing up for me before God,” reports Romans 8.34. Assurance of this allows me to “seek peace and pursue it,” reports 1 Peter 3.11, no matter who is involved, and to “pursue peace with all humans,” reports Hebrews 12.14. That includes all our family members and coworkers! Even in case where, though no fault of my own, there must be a struggle between me and others, there does not have to be a struggle within me. Look not for refuge to anyone besides yourself. Try to become like the master. #RandolphHarris 16 of 24

I may have to resist others, for some good reason, but even so I do not have to make things come out right. I am not the one in control of outcomes. I do not have to hate those whose course of action I resist, or even get mad at them, and so I can always be at peace within myself as well as toward them. Although the truth of our intellect is caused by the thing, yet it is not necessary that truth should be there primarily, any more than that health should be primarily in medicine, rather than in the animal: for the virtue of medicine, and not its health, is the cause of health, for here the agent is not univocal. In the same way, the being of the thing, not its truth, is the cause of the truth in the intellect. Hence, a fact or a word is true from the fact that a thing is, not because a thing is true. “And now it came to pass that in the sixteenth year from the coming of Christ, Lachoneus, the governor of the land, received an epistle from the leader and the governor of this band of robbers; and these were the words which were written saying: Lachoneus, most noble and chief governor of the land, behold, I write tis epistle unto you, and do give unto you exceedingly great praise because of your firmness, and also the firmness of your people, in maintaining that which ye suppose to be your right and liberty. #RandolphHarris 17 of 24

“Yea, ye do stand well, as if ye were supported by the hand of a god, in the defence of your liberty, and your property, and your country, or that which ye do call so. And it seemeth a pity unto me, most noble Lachoneus, that ye should be so foolish and vain as to suppose that ye can stand against so many brave men who are at my command, who do now at this time stand in their arms, and do await with great anxiety for the word—God own upon the Nephites and destroy them. And I, knowing of their unconquerable spirit, having proved them in the field of battle, and knowing you because of the many wrongs which ye have done unto them, therefore if they should come down against you they would visit you with utter destruction. Therefore I have written this epistle, sealing it with mine own hand, feeling for your welfare, because of your firmness in that which ye believe to be right, and your noble spirit in the field of battle. Therefore I write unto you, desiring that ye would yield up unto this my people, your cities, your lands, and your possessions, rather than that they should visit you with the sword and that destruction should come upon you. #RandolphHarris 18 of 24

“Or in other words, yield yourselves up unto us, and unite with us and become acquainted with our secret works, and become our brethren that ye may be like unto us—not our slaves, but our brethren and partners of all our substance. And behold, I swear unto you, if ye will do this, with an oath, ye shall not be destroyed; but if ye will not do this, I swear unto you with an oath, that on the morrow month I will command that my armies shall come down against you, and they shall not stay their hand and shall spare not, but shall slay you, and shall let fall the sword upon you even until ye shall become extinct. And behold, I am Giddianhi; and I am the governor of this secret society of Gadianton; which society and the works thereof I know to be good; and they are of ancient date and they have been handed down unto us. And I write this epistle unto you, Lachoeus, and I hope that ye will deliver up your lands and your possessions, without the shedding of blood, that this my people may recover their rights and government, who have dissented away from you because of your wickedness in retaining from them their rights of government, and except ye do this, I will avenge their wrongs. I am Giddianhi. #RandolphHarris 19 of 24

“And now it came to pass when Lachoneus received this epistle he was exceedingly astonished, because of the boldness of Giddianhi demanding the possession of the land of the Nephites, and also of the threatening the people and avenging the wrongs of those that had received no wrong, save it were they had wronged themselves by dissenting away unto those wicked and abominable robbers. Now behold, this Lachoneus, the governor, was a just man, and could not be frightened by the demands and the threatenings of a robber; therefore he did not hearken to the epistle of Giddianhi, the governor of the robbers, but he did cause that his people should cry unto the Lord for strength against the time that the robbers should come down against them. Yea, he sent a proclamation among all the people, that they should gather together their women, and their children, their flocks and their herds, and all their substance, save it were their land, unto one place. And he caused that fortifications should be built round about them, and the strength thereof should be exceedingly great. And he caused that armies, both of the Nephites and of the Lamanites, or of all them who were numbered among the Nephites, should be placed as guards round about to watch them, and to guard them from the robbers day and night. #RandolphHarris 20 of 24

“Yea, he said unto them: As the Lord liveth, except ye repent of all your iniquities, and cry unto the Lord, ye will in nowise be delivered out of the hands of those Gadianton robbers. And so great and marvelous were the words and prophecies of Lachoneus that they did cause fear to come upon all the people; and they did exert themselves in their might to do according to the words of Lachoneus. And it came to pass that Lachoneus did appoint chief captains over all the armies of the Nephites, to command them at the time that the robbers should come down out of the wilderness against them. Now the chiefest among all the chief captains and the great commander of all the armies of the Nephites was appointed, and his name was Gididdoni. Now it was the custom among all the Nephites to appoint for their chief captains, (save it were in their times of wickedness) some one that the bad spirit of revelation and also prophecy; therefore, this Gididdoni was a great prophet among them, as also was the chief judge. Now the people said unto Gidgiddoni: Pray unto the Lord, and let us go up upon the mountains and into the wilderness, that we may fall upon the mountains and into the wilderness, that we may fall upon the robbers and destroy them in their own lands. However, Gidgiddoni saith unto them: The Lord forbid; for if we should go up against them the Lord would deliver us into their hands; therefore we will prepare ourselves in the center of our lands, and we will gather all our armies together, and we will not go against them, but we will wait till they shall come against us. #RandolphHarris 21 of 24

“Therefore, as the Lord liveth, if we do this he will deliver them into our hands. And it came to pass in the seventeenth year, in the latter end of the year, the proclamation of Lachoneus had gone forth throughout all the face of the land, and they had taken their horses, and their chariots, and their cattle, and all their flocks, and their herds, and their grain, and all their substance, and did march forth by thousands and by tens of thousands, until they had all gone forth to the place which had been appointed that they should gather themselves together, to defend themselves against their enemies. And the land which was appointed was the land of Zarahemla, and the land which was between the land Zarahemla and the land Bountiful, yea, to the line which was between the land Bountiful and the land Desolation. And there were a great many thousand people who were called Nephites, who did gather themselves together in this land. Now Lachoneus did cause that they should gather themselves together in this land. Now Lachoneus did cause that they should gather themselves together in the and southward, because of the great curse which was upon the land northward. #RandolphHarris 22 of 24

“And they did fortify themselves against their enemies; and they did dwell in one land, and in one body, and they did fear the words which had been spoken by Lachoneus, insomuch that they did put up their prayers unto the Lord their God, that he would deliver them in the time that their enemies should come down against them to battle. And they were exceedingly sorrowful because of their enemies. And Giddiddoni did cause that they should make weapons of war of every kind, and they should be strong with armour, and with shields, and with bucklers, after the manner of his instruction,” reports 3 Nephi 3.1-26. On the ring of the World, God is dancing. In His bright robe, He is dancing. Young and handsome and strong, God is dancing. Bringer of vision, God is dancing. Dance, Sun King, into the Sky, please being the day to those who wait for you. As the Sun rises, I face His glory, grateful that the darkness has come to an end. Though darkness is sacred, its soothing a gift, I am a human, a creature of light. So I face you in thankfulness and greet your return with praises and prayer and the honour that is due you. O Lord and Saviour Christ, Who camest not to strive nor cry, but to let Thy words fall as the drops that water the Earth; please grant all who contend for the Faith once delivered, never to injure it by clamour and impatience. #RandolphHarris 23 of 24

However, teach them to speak Thy precious Truth in love, so to present it that it may be loved, and that humans may see in it Thy goodness and Thy beauty; Who livest as the Way, the Truth and the Life. Truth is found in the intellect according as it apprehends a thing as it is; and things according as they have being conformable to an intellect. This to be the greatest degree found in God. For His being is not only conformed to His intellect, but it is the very act of His intellect; and His act of understanding is the measure and cause of every other being and of every other intellect, and He Himself is His own existence and act of understanding. Whence it follows not only that truth is in Him, but that He is truth itself, and the sovereign and first truth. Although the divine intellect there is neither composition nor division, yet in His simple act of intelligence He judges of all things and knows all things complex; and thus there is truth in His intellect. O God, the Sovereign Good of the soul, Who requirest the hearts of all Thy children; please deliver us from all sloth in Thy work, all coldness in Thy cause; and please grant us by looking unto Thee to rekindle our Love, and by waiting upon Thee to renew our strength; through Jesus Christ our Lord. #RandolphHarris 24 of 24

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