We are a feelingless people. If we could really feel, the pain would be so great that we would stop all the suffering. A vivid example of this comes from a young man who has been a recipient of much sensitive understanding and who is now in the later stages of his therapy: Client: “I could even conceive of it as a possibility that I could have a kind of tender concern for me. Still, how could I be tender, be concerned for myself, when they are one and the same thing? But yet I can feel it so clearly—you know, like taking care of a child. You want to give it this and give it that. I can kind of clearly see the purposes for somebody else, but I can never see them for myself, that I could do this for me, you know. Is it possible that I can really want to take care of myself, and make that a major purpose of my life? That means I would have to deal with the whole World as if I were guardian of the most cherished and most wanted possession, that this I was between this precious me that I wanted to take care of and the whole World. It is almost as if I loved myself; you know, that is strange—but it is true.” Therapist: “It seems such a strange concept to realize. It would me I would face the World as though a part of my primary responsibility was taking care of this precious individual who is me—whom I love.” #RandolphHarris 1 of 22

 Client: “Who I for—whom I feel so close to. Woof! That is another strange one.” Therapist: “It just seems weird.” Client: “Yeah. It hits rather close somehow. The idea of my loving me and taking care of me. (His eyes grow moist.) That is a very nice one—very nice.” It is, I believe, the therapist’s caring understanding—exhibited in this excerpt as well as previously—which had permitted this client to experience a high regard, even a love, for himself. Still a third impact of a sensitive understanding comes from its nonjudgmental quality. The highest expression of empathy is accepting and nonjudgmental. This is true because if you have formed an evaluative opinion of another person, it is impossible to be accurately perceptive of that person’s inner World. If you doubt this statement, choose someone you know with whom you deeply disagree and who is, in your judgement, definitely wrong or mistaken. Now try to state that individual’s views, beliefs, and feelings so accurately that one will agree that you have sensitively and correctly described one’s stance. I predict that nine times out of ten you will fail, because your judgment of the person’s views creeps into your description of them. Consequently, true empathy is always free of any evaluative or diagnostic quality. #RandolphHarris 2 of 22

The recipient perceives true empathy with some surprise: “If I am not being judged, perhaps I am not so evil or abnormal as I have thought. Perhaps I do not have to judge myself so harshly.” Thus, the possibility of self-acceptance is gradually increased. There comes to mind a psychologist whose interest in psychotherapy started as a result of his research in visual perception. In this research, many students were interviewed and asked to relate their visual and perceptual history, including any difficulties in seeing or reading, their reaction to wearing glasses, and so forth. The psychologist simply listened with interest, made no judgments on what he was hearing, and completed the gathering of his data. To his amazement, a number of these students returned spontaneously to thank him for all the help he had given them. He had, in his opinion, given them no help at all. However, it forced him to recognize that interested nonevaluative listening is a potent therapeutic force, even when directed at a narrow sector of life, and with no intent of being helpful. Perhaps another way of putting some of what I have been saying is that a finely tuned understanding by another individual gives the recipient a sense of personhood, of identity. #RandolphHarris 3 of 22

The sense of identity requires the existence of another by whom one is known, which means we need to have our existence confirmed by another. Empathy gives that needed confirmation that one does exist as a separate, valued person with an identity. Persons begin revealing material that they have never communicated before, in the process discovering previously unknown elements in themselves. Such an element may be “I never knew before that I was angry at my father,” or “I never realized that I am afraid of succeeding.” Such discoveries are unsettling but exciting. To perceive a new aspect of oneself is the first step toward changing the concept of oneself. The new element is, in an understanding atmosphere, owned and assimilated into a now altered self-concept. This is the basis, in my estimation, of the behaviour changes that can come about as a result of psychotherapy. Once the self-concept changes, behaviour changes to match the freshly perceived self. If we think, however, that empathy is effective only in the one-to-one relationship called psychotherapy, we are greatly mistaken. Even in the classroom it makes an important difference. When teachers show evidence that they understand the meaning of classroom experiences for students, learning improves. #RandolphHarris 4 of 22

It has been found that when teachers exhibit a high degree of understanding, children’s reading improves more than it does in classrooms where such understanding does not exist. This finding has been replicated in many classrooms. Jus as clients in psychotherapy find that empathy provides a climate for learning more of themselves, so students in the classroom find themselves in a climate for learning subject matter when they are in the presence of an understanding teacher. When persons are perceptively understood, they find themselves coming in closer touch with a wider range of their experiencing. This gives them an expanded referent to which they can turn for guidance in understanding themselves and in directing their behaviour. If the empathy has been accurate and deep, they may also be able to unblock a flow of experiencing and permit it to run its uninhibited course. Many people need empathic listeners. They feel wounded inside, like a physical wound, but do not like to see others feeling sorry for themselves. Yet at the same time, many people know no one will care about one’s own feelings like one cares about them, but in our culture it is not acceptable to express emotions. So they cover them up. They want to get rid of their feelings and pretend that are not hurt. #RandolphHarris 5 of 22

At the basis of their experience, there is a feeling of real tears for themselves. However, they cannot show them, must not show them, so they are covered by bitterness and the individual does not like feeling bitter and wants to transcend that emotion. Many people feel like they would almost rather absorb the hurt than to—than to feel the bitterness. And what they seem to be saying is, “I do not hurt, and I have tried to cover it up.” It is like a new discovery, as though some of the most delicate aspects of their being, physically almost, have been crushed. Therefore, it is clear people need empathic responses that encourage them in the wider exploration of, and closer acquaintance with, the visceral experiencing going on within. Most individuals are learning to listen to their guts (to use an inelegant term). One has expanded one’s knowledge of the flow of their experiencing. We may also see how this unverbalized visceral flow is used as a referent. How do people know that “guilt” is not the word to describe their feelings? They know by turning within, taking another look at this reality, this palpable process that is taking place, this experiencing. And so one can test the word “hurt” against this referent, and one finds it close. Only when one tries the phrase, “Oh you poor thing,” does it really fit the inner felt meaning of compassion and sorrow for one’s self. #RandolphHarris 6 of 22

In my judgment, many people have not only used this aspect of their experiencing as a referent, but have also learned something about this process of checking with one’s total physiological being—a learning one can apply again and again. And empathy has helped to make it possible. We also find in this slice of therapy what it means to let an experiencing run its course. This is clearly not a new feeling. So many people have often felt it before, yet it has never been lived out. It has been blocked in some way. I am quite clear as to the reality of vividness of the unblocking that will follow, because I have many times been a party to its occurrence, but I am not sure how it may best be described. It seems to me that only when a gut-level experience is fully accepted and accurately labeled in awareness can it be completed. Then the person can move beyond it. Again, it is the sensitively empathic climate that helps to move the experiencing forward to its conclusion, which, in this case, is the uninhibited experiencing of the pity one feels for oneself. We can say that when persons find themselves sensitively and accurately understood, they develop a set of growth-promoting or therapeutic attitudes toward themselves. The nonevaluative and acceptant quality of the empathic climate enables persons, as we have seen, to take a prizing, caring attitude toward themselves. #RandolphHarris 7 of 22

Being listened to by someone who understands makes it possible for persons to listen more accurately to themselves, with greater empathy toward their own visceral experiencing, their own vaguely felt meanings. The individuals’ greater understanding of and prizing of themselves opens to them new facets of experience which become part of a more accurately based self-concept. The self is now more congruent with the experiencing. Thus, the persons have become, in their attitudes toward themselves, more caring and acceptant, more empathic and understanding, more real and congruent. However, these three elements are they very ones that both experience ad research indicate are the attitudes of an effective therapist. So we are perhaps not overstating the total picture if we say that an emphatic understanding by another enables a person to become a more effective growth enhancer, a more effective therapist for himself or herself. Consequently, whether we are functioning as therapists, as encounter-group facilitators, as teachers, or as parents, we have in our hands, if we are able to take an empathic stance, a powerful force for change and growth. Its strength needs to be appreciated. #RandolphHarris 8 of 22

However, the empathic process is not regarded as the only important factor in growthful relationships. In the ordinary interactions of life—between marital and partners who fixate on pleasures of the flesh, between teacher and student, employer and employee, or between colleagues or friends—congruence is probably the most important element. Congruence, or genuineness, involves letting the other person know “where you are” emotionally. It may involve confrontation and the straightforward expression of personally owned feelings—both negative and optimistic. Thus, congruence is a basis for living together in a climate of realness. However, in certain other special situations, caring, or prizing, may turn out to be the most significant element. Such situations include nonverbal relationship—between parent and infant, therapist and mute psychotic, physician and very ill patient. Caring is an attitude that is known to foster creativity—a nurturing climate in which delicate, tentative new thoughts and productive processes can emerge. Then, in my experience, there are other situations in which the empathic was of being has the highest priority. When the other person is hurting, confused, troubled, anxious, alienated, terrified, or when one is doubtful of self-worth, uncertain as to 2—then understanding is called for. #RandolphHarris 9 of 22

The gentle and sensitive companionship offered by an empathic person (who must, of course, possess the other two attitudes) provides illumination and healing. In such situations deep understanding is, I believe, the most precious gift one can give to another. No master has the right to ask any candidate for discipleship to surrender oneself absolutely, to place oneself unreservedly in the master’s hands and to obey unquestioningly the master’s orders. The trust demanded should arise of its own accord by progressive degrees as the relationship proceeds and develops, and as the master proves by one’s conduct and effectiveness to be fully worthy of it. Because one gives the master devotion one does not also have to give this individual idolatry. One’s disciples are taught how to unite independent thinking with loyal feeling in their attitude toward one. This satisfies them both. There are those who think their teacher neglects to answer their mail. Because the teacher leaves their letters so long unanswered, they conclude that one means to drop them out of one’s life. Nothing could be farther from the truth. It is true that one lacks the staff needed to handle it, that the pressure of work like writing and mediation and research notes leaves one little remaining time. #RandolphHarris 10 of 22

However, those who have met one personally and call themselves one’s disciples often cannot understand one’s behaviour so one gives this published experience. Once inner contact is established by a single physical meeting it is not necessary to have further ones with the guide although they may be helpful.  Sri Aurobindo granted only a single minute to each individual at first or later meeting with a disciple or a candidate for discipleship. Thus it is evident that one does not consider more than sixty seconds really necessary to establish it. Not only are further physical meetings not necessary but even further personal action on one’s part, such as writing letter to the disciples are also unnecessary even though they may be helpful. Thus a spiritual guide does not need to do anything physically or write anything personally to keep up the internal contact, it being kept up by the student’s remembrance, devotion, faith, and meditation. No disciple can be effectively trained by the log distance method of an occasional exchange of letters. One needs personal supervision, personal contact, and personal discussion of one’s special problems. No conscientious teacher will ever undertake to give instructions by mail and declare it sufficient. It gives too meagre a basis for accurate understanding on the disciple’s part or for an adequate communication on the teacher’s part. #RandolphHarris 11 of 22

Then again one cannot accept the position of personal counsellor under the guise of being spiritual teacher. That is no one’s work. Most students who keep on failing to recognize this fac against all previous and present warnings and who send letter after letter with every fluctuation of their personal moods and fortunes, in an attempt to wrest advice or intervention from one, may force one to break the external contact with the individual until such a time as they do realize what the true situation is. If one were to adopt a counselling position and to agree to show students how to apply the philosophical teaching to every change of their own personal life, one would soon have no time to give out those teachings at all. Consequently one must refuse to respond to all these attempts often openly but sometime hidden, often naïve but sometimes cunning, to get one personally involved in the life of the seeker or to mix both their personal problems together. So many of one’s correspondents try to force one into this highly personal self-actualized teacher-student relationship, and thus to impose their own responsibilities upon one’s shoulders, that one has to fall into lengthy periods of silence to protect oneself. Moreover, if one were to respond to the emotional Worldly problems in the way such response is desired, it would only mean the downfall to both of them and the breakdown of their pure relationship. #RandolphHarris 12 of 22

To maintain this purity, to safeguard the relationship itself, and to protect the master as well as the seeker, the proper teaching must be given from the start and that is: the teacher must be regarded as a symbol, not as a person. One is to be considered merely as an agent for that which one represents, not just another human being entering into a human relation with the disciple. Often the beginner, finding that the teacher does not fully respond to one’s emotional craving for continuous personal attention, soon becomes disappointed. This feeling may develop until it reaches a critical stage where one of two things may happen. Either one will fail to pass the test, for so it becomes, and will withdraw altogether from the relationship—perhaps even maligning the guide—or one will continue one’s trust, gain a new point of view, and make the needed change to a higher attitude in the end. If, however, one allows one’s egoism or emotion to lead one into disobedience of this rule, one will only endanger the relationship. If one persists in this disobedience, one will even find it brought to an end for a time. So few understand what is really involved in this relationship, so many misunderstanding it and are therefore disappointed by it in the beginning or along the way, that the teacher prefers with rare exceptions of well-advanced cases, not to enter into it outwardly at all but instead to offer a little friendly help with obligation. #RandolphHarris 13 of 22

No real master is ever afraid that one might lose any particular disciple. One takes possession of no one and leaves everyone as free as one found them. One understands quite well that the human’s need or search and one’s own high self’s gracious response brought the master into the picture as an indirect medium through which the response could operate. One understands, too, that all the instruction and advice, the uplift and help which one gives the disciple originate ultimately and really within the human, as the latter will one day discover when one has developed one’s own direct access to them, and therefore refuses to regard the relationship between them egotistically. The meaning of history seems rather disappointing. The sense of “let-down” recurs. If the meaning of history is that we must accept what we cannot avoid, there was really no need of the extraordinary situation of the Cross to let us know it. If the result is only that we shall continue to do, with more awareness, what we have always done anyway, there was no need for Jesus the Christ to die in a supreme testimony to his unity with being-itself. Yet, even when we are not, we are in the truth; we are in grace even when we are in sin; we are accepted even when we are estranged. #RandolphHarris 14 of 22

The all loving, eternally forgiving, unconditionally accepting Cross is the Protestant principle. It is the meaning of the cross and of the entire history of humans illuminated by the word from the Cross. No doubt that it is a valuable insight. However, it is worthy all that has prepared it? Above all, is it worth the self-sacrifice of Jesus? Surely not. All religions have reached approximations, in practice and in theory, of the Protestant principle. Thus two lines, vertical and horizontal, symbolize the meaning of human existence. The vertical lines points to the eternal meaning of existence, and the horizontal to its realization in history. We recognize here the Protestant principle that the eternal informs the temporal. Is this unique in Protestantism, or even in Christianity? Far from it: Every religion necessarily has both directions, although different religions emphasize the one or the other. Every religion, in other words, embodies the Protestant principle to some extent. Had there been no final revelation, no ultimate center of history, our World would have continued, cultures would have developed, without explicit reference to the Cross; yet they would have been unified around smaller revelations, as has been the case with non-Christian religions. The Logos would still have become flesh in a series of revelatory kairoi. #RandolphHarris 15 of 22

Basis and abyss would still have joined together; and in the duality of both the Unconditioned would have manifested itself. The profane would still be inseparably conjoined to the holy. And the tension between the two would have settled down along the lines that we assign to Church and society: The Church is the perpetual guilty conscience of society and society is the perpetual guilty conscious of the Church. Granted, the New Being would not have appeared in time; the Unconditional would not have lived under the conditions of existence. However, human kind lived under the conditions of existence. However, humankind could not have missed it because, in any case, this paradox was not to be expected. This description of what would have happened to the Universe without the Christ’s appearance may seem like a caricature. Actually it is the reverse of the coin we have received. If the meaning of history is only the justification of the unjust extended to the moral, the intellectual and the metaphysical fields, we could, frankly, have managed without the Messiah. We could have discovered it by analysing the ground of being, by asking philosophers about being-itself. The imaginative element needed for the doctrine of the Absolute as both ground and abyss of dynamic truth—which is the Protestant principle, the meaning of history—which was furnished to us simply by meditating by the sea-side. #RandolphHarris 16 of 22

We bring history to the point where it borders on the revelation and is the achievement of no puny vision. It is the meaning we assign to history that leaves us still hungry and thirsty: we think we are being prepared for more. Light, in general, is associated with God, and the presence of light with the presence of God. Surrounded by all the numinous beings of Earth and sky and water, I pray with confidence, for I know God’s help is certain. I place myself at your service, God of my people. Please open me to your wishes, make me a conduit for your will, brining forth your desires in the human World. This goes before me, opening the door. Key to God, be my way-shower. Hidden in the folds of the land you dwell and have dwelt since the World began. I am one of the World’s younger children come to honor you with these offerings. To the God who rules this place, to you I offer my friendship and with it this gift. Gateway of God, please receive my offering. As it sinks deep with you, let me open the door, and let it be carried to them whim I praise in this way. “And it came to pass in the eleventh year of the reign of the judges over the people of Nephi, on the fifth day of the second month, there having been much peace in the land of Zarahemla, there having been no wars nor contentions for a certain number of years, even until the fifth day of the second month in the eleventh year, there was a cry of war heard throughout the land. #RandolphHarris 17 of 22

“For behold, the armies of the Lamanites had come in upon the wilderness side, into the borders of the wilderness side, into the borders of the land, even into the city of Ammonihah, and began to play the people and destroy the city. And now it came to pass, before the Nephites could raise a sufficient army to drive them out of the land, they had destroyed the people who were in the city of Ammonihah, and also come around the borders of Noah, and taken others captive into the wilderness. Now it came to pass that Nephites were desirous to obtain those who had been carried away captive into the wilderness. Therefore, he that had been appointed chief captain over the armies of the Nephites, (and his name was Zoram, and he had two sons, Lehi and Aha)–now Zoram and his two sons, knowing that Alma was high priest over the church, and having heard that he had the spirit of prophecy, therefore they went unto him and desired of him to know whither the Lord would that they should go into the wilderness in search of their brethren, who had been taken captive by the Lamanites. And it came to pass that Alma inquired of the Lord concerning the matter. And Alma returned and said unto them: Behold, the Lamanites will cross the river Sidom in the south wilderness, away up beyond the borders of the land of Manti. #RandolphHarris 18 of 22

“And behold there shall ye meet them, on the east of the river Sidon, and there the Lord will deliver unto thee thy brethren who have been taken captive by the Lamanites. And it came to pass that Zoram and his sons crossed over the river Sidon, with their armies, and marched away beyond the borders of Manti into the south wilderness, which was on the east side of the river Sidom. And they came upon the armies of the Lamanites, and the Lamanites were scattered and drive into the wilderness; and they took their brethren who had been taken captive by the Lamanites, and there was not one soul of them had been lost that were taken captive. And they were brought by their brethren to possess their own lands. And thus ended the eleventh year of the judges, the Lamanites having been driven out of the land, and the people of Ammonihah were destroyed; yea, every living soul of the Ammonihahites was destroyed, and also their great city, which they said God could not destroy, because of its greatness. However, behold, in one day it was left desolate; and the carcasses were mangled by dogs and wild beasts of the wilderness. Nevertheless, after many days their dead bodies were heaped up upon the face of the Earth, and they were covered with a shallow covering. #RandolphHarris 19 of 22

“And now so great was the scent thereof that the people did not go in to possess the land of Ammonihah for many years. And it was called Desolation of Nehors; for they were the profession of Nehor, who were slain; and their lands remained desolate. And the Lamanites did not come again to war against the Nephites until for fourteenth year of the reign of the judges over the people of Nephi. And thus for three years did the people of Nephi have continual peace in all the land. And Alma and Amulek went forth preaching repentance to the people in their temples, and in their sanctuaries, and also in their synagogues, which were built after the manner of the Jews. And as many as would hear their words, unto them they did impart the word of God, without any respect of persons, continually. And thus did Alma and Amulek go forth, and also many more who had been chosen for the work, to preach the word throughout all the land. And the establishment of the church became general throughout the land, in all the region round about, among all the people of the Nephites. And there was no inequality among them; the Lord did pour out his Spirit on all the face of the land to prepare the minds of the children of humans, or to prepare their hearts to receive the word which should be taught among them at the time of his coming. #RandolphHarris 20 of 22

“That they might not be hardened against the word, that they might not be unbelieving, and go on to destruction, but that they might receive the word with joy, and as a branch be grafted into the true vine, that they might enter into the rest of the Lord their God. Now those priests who did go forth among the people did preach against all lyings, and deceivings, and envyings, and strifes, and malice, and revilings, and stealing, robbing, plundering, murdering, committing adultery, and all manner of lasciviousness, crying that these things ought not so to be—holding forth things which must shortly come; yea, holding forth the coming of the Son of God, his sufferings and death, and also the resurrection of the dead. And many of the people did inquire concerning the pace where the Son of God should come; and they were taught that he would appear unto them after his resurrection; and this the people did hear with great joy and gladness. And now after the church had been established throughout all the land—having got the victory over the devil, and the word of God being preached in its purity in all the land, and the Lord pouring out his blessing upon the people—thus ended the fourteenth year of the reign of the judges over the people of Nephi,” reports Alma 16.1-21. #RandolphHarris 21 of 22

Proceeding from strength to strength, and having finished the Divine Liturgy in Thy temple, we now entreat Thee, Lord our God, please vouchsafe us to enjoy Thy perfect love. Our God and God of our fathers, on this Festival of Joy and Gladness, our hearts are filled with gratitude to Thee. Recalling the redemption of Israel from Egyptian bondage, we pray, O Lord, that the day may soon dawn when all Thy children shall be free. Recalling this day of revelation of Thy Law on Sinai, we reaffirm our unswerving devotion to Thy Torah. We pray that Thine eternal Law shall guide the lives of all Thy children. Recalling of this Sukkot Festival Thy sheltering care of our forefathers, may we, too, be every grateful for Thy protecting love and bounty. Just as our forefathers laid their offerings on Thy altar in the Temple at Jerusalem on the Three Festivals, so may we, O God, with like devotion, help in the rebuilding and restoration of Zion. Grant that our homeless and exiled brothers and sisters may soon return to the land of our fathers, there to dwell in peace. And may the observance of this Festival quicken anew our faith in Thee and our loyalty to Thy commandments. Amen. #RandolphHarris 22 of 22

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God, that invisible power of your work has a remarkable effect of Thy Sacraments, and although we are unworthy to perform such great mysteries, you could give us your grace not to give up, and even answer  our prayers favorably. My we keep you in our hearts, God Almighty and constantly seek you.

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