The deepest hunger in the American soul today is for something truly useful to do with one’s life. If, as in so often the case in America now, the end result is human exploitation, environmental destruction, or debasement of values, what values does work really have? What does it mean to be an adult? It means certain rights and privileges that do not belong to children and adolescents, for one thing. However, as for any such “fringe benefits,” there are dues to pay. These dues come in the form of responsibilities, obligations, and expectations of other individuals and society. Morality is based on individual rights and standards which have been critically examined and agreed upon by the whole society. A sharp distinction has been drawn between the situation of the discredited with tension to manage and the situation of the discreditable with information to manage. The stigmatized employ an adaptive technique, however, which requires the student to bring together these two possibilities. The difference between visibility and obtrusiveness is involved. It is a fact that persons who are ready to admit possession of stigma (in many cases because it is known about or immediately apparent) may nonetheless make a great effort to keep the stigma from looming large. #RandolphHarris 1 of 21

The individual’s object is to reduce tension, that is, to make it easier for oneself and the others to withdraw covert attention from the stigma, and to sustain spontaneous involvement in the official content of the interaction. However, the means employed for this task are quite similar to those employed in passing—and in some cases identical, since what will conceal a stigma from unknowing persons may also ease matters for those in the know. It is thus that a girl who gets around best on her artificial leg employs crutches or an artful but patently artificial limb when in company. This process will be referred to as covering. Many of these who rarely try to pass, routinely try to cover. One type of covering involves the individual in a concern over the standards incidentally associated with one’s stigma. Thus the visually impaired, who sometimes have a facial disfigurement in the region of the eyes, distinguish among themselves according to whether this is the case or not. Dark glasses sometimes worn to give voluntary evidence of blindness may at the same time be worn to cover evidence of defacement—a case revealing unsightedness while concealing unsightliness: The blind, in all conscience, have enough advertisement of their condition without adding a cosmetic factor to it. #RandolphHarris 2 of 21

I think of nothing that would add so much to the tragedy of a blind man’s position as the feeling that, in the fight to regain his vision, he had lost not only the fight but the wholesomeness of his appearance as well. Similarly, since blindness can lead to the appearance of clumsiness, there may occur a special effort to re-learn motor propriety, an “ease and grace and adeptness at all those motions which the sighted World looks upon as ‘normal.’” A related type of covering involves an effort to restrict the display of those failings most centrally identified with the stigma. For example, a near-blind person who knows that the persons present know about one’s differentness may yet hesitate to read, because to do this one would have to bring the book up to a few inches of one’s eyes, and this one may feel expresses to glaringly the qualities of blindness. This type of covering, it should be noted, is an important aspect of the “assimilative” techniques employed by members of minority ethnic groups; the intent behind devices such as change in name and change in nose shape is not solely to pass, but also to restrict the way in which a known about attribute obtrudes itself into the center of attention, for obtrusiveness increases the difficulty of maintaining easeful inattention regarding the stigma. #RandolphHarris 3 of 21

The most interesting expression of covering, perhaps, is that associated with the organization of social situations. As already suggested, anything which interferes directly with the etiquette and mechanics of communication obtrudes itself constantly into the interaction and is difficult to disattend genuinely. Hence individuals with stigma, especially those with a physical disability, may have to learn about the structure of interaction in order to learn about the lines along which they must reconstitute their conduct if they are to minimize the obtrusiveness of their stigma. From the efforts, then, one can learn about features of interaction that might otherwise be too much taken for granted to be noted. For example, the hard of hearing learn to talk with the degree of loudness that listeners feel is appropriate for the situation, and also to be ready to deal with those junctures during interaction that specifically require hearing if the properties are to be maintained: Frances figure out elaborate techniques to cope with ‘dinner lulls,’ intermissions at concerts, football games, dances, and so on, in order to protect her secret. However, they served only to make her more uncertain, and in turn more cautious, and in turn more uncertain. Thus, Frances had it down pat that at a diner party she should sit next to someone with a strong voice; if someone asked her a direct question, choke, cough, or get hiccups; take hold of the conversation herself, ask someone to tell a story she had already heard, ask questions the answers to which she already knew. #RandolphHarris 4 of 21

Similarly, the blind sometimes learn to look directly at the speaker even though this looking accomplishes no seeing, for it prevents the blind from staring off into space or hanging the head or otherwise unknowingly violating the code regarding attention cues through which spoke interaction is organized. Now, let us consider some typical sadistic attitudes. We can best observe these in persons who are fairly uninhibited in expressing their sadistic tendencies toward others, whether they themselves are conscious of having such tendencies or not. When, in the following, I speak of a sadistic person, I mean a person whose attitudes toward others are predominantly sadistic. Such a person may want to enslave others or to enslave the partner in particular. One’s “victim” must be a superhuman’s slave, a creature not only without wishes, feelings, or initiative of one’s own but without any claims whatever upon the master. This tendency may take the form of molding or educating the victim, as Professor Higgings in Pygmalion molds Eliza. At best it can have some constructive aspects, as in the case of parents with children or teachers with pupils. Occasionally this aspect obtains in relations dealing with pleasures of the flesh, particularly if the sadistic partner is the more mature. It is sometimes conspicuous in homosexual relations between an older and a young man. #RandolphHarris 5 of 21

However, even there if the slave gives any indication of meaning to go one’s own way, of having friends or interests of one’s own, the devil’s horns will show themselves. Frequently, though not invariably, the master is haunted by a possessive jealousy and uses it as a means of torture. It is peculiar to sadistic relationships of this kind that keeping a hold over the victim is of more absorbing interests than the person’s own life. One will neglect one’s career, forego the pleasures or advantages of meeting other persons rather than grant the partner any independence. The ways in which the partner is kept enslaved are characteristic. They vary only within a comparatively limited range and depend on the personality structure of both members. The sadistic person will give the partner just enough to make the relationship appear worth one’s while. One will fulfill certain of the partner’s needs—though rarely more than will keep one at a minimum subsistence level, psychically speaking. And one will impress upon one the unique quality of what one gives. Nobody else, one will point out, could give one such understanding, such support, so much satisfactions in pleasures of the flesh or so many interests; nobody else, indeed, would ever put up with one. Again, one may hold one with the lure of better times—implicitly or explicitly, one will promise love or marriage or a better financial status or better treatment. #RandolphHarris 6 of 21

Sometimes one will stress one’s own need of the partner and appeal to one on that ground. All these tactics are the more effective in that by being so possessive and so disparaging one isolates the partner from others. If the latter is made sufficiently dependent one may finally threaten to leave one. still further means of intimidation may be employed, but these have so much a life of their own that they will be discussed separately, in another context. Naturally, we cannot understand what goes on in such a relationship without taking into account the characteristics of the partner. Often one is of the complaint type and hence in dread of desertion; or one may be a person who has profoundly repressed one’s own sadistic drives and is helpless on that account—as will be shown later. The mutual dependence that accrues from such a situation arouses resentment not only in the enslaved but in the enslaver as well. If the latter’s need for detachment is pronounced, one is especially resentful of the partner’s absorbing so much of one’s thought and energy. Not realizing that one oneself has created these cramping ties, one may reproach the partner for being grasping or clinging. One’s wanting to break away on such occasions is as much an expression of fear and resentment as a means of intimidation. Not all sadistic craving aims at enslavement. Another sort finds its satisfaction in playing on the emotions of another person as on an instrument. #RandolphHarris 7 of 21

A man or woman who expects nothing of one’s own life can be entirely absorbed in the game of playing with your emotions, which in turn gives them a reason to live. One knows when to show interest and when to be indifferent. One is hypersensitive in anticipating and observing the girl’s reactions to one. One knows what will arouse and what will check his or her desires for pleasures of the flesh. However, one’s sensitivity is limited to the requirements of the sadistic play: one is totally unconcerned with what this experience might mean to the young lady or young man’s life. This conscious shrewd calculation, more often goes on unconsciously. However, it is the same game of attracting and rejecting, charming and disappointing, elevating and degrading, bringing joy and brining grief. Another characteristic is to exploit the partner. Exploitation is not necessarily a sadistic enterprise; it may be employed merely for the sake of gain. In sadistic exploitation, too, gain may be a consideration, but it is often illusory and wholly out of proportion to the affect put into its pursuit. For the sadist, exploitation becomes a kind of passion in its own right. What matters is to experience the triumph of getting the better of others. Its specifically sadistic colouring appears in the means used for exploitation. The partner is subjected, directly and indirectly, to ever mounting demands, and is made to feel guilty humiliated if one does not fulfill them. #RandolphHarris 8 of 21

The sadistic person can always find a justification for feeling discontented or unfairly treated, and for demanding still more on the account. The fulfilling of such demands never evokes gratitude, and how the demands themselves are often prompted by the desire to hurt the other person and put one in one’s place. They may have to do with material things or needs involving pleasures of the flesh or assist in establishing a career; they may be demands for special consideration, exclusive devotion, boundless tolerance. There is nothing specifically sadistic in their content: what does point to sadism is the expectation that the partner should, by whatever means are available, fill out a life that is emotionally empty. This, too, is well illustrated by constant complaints of feeling bored and wanting stimulation and excitement. The need to feed, vampirelike, on the emotional vitality of another person is as a rule completely unconscious.  However, it is probable that it is at the bottom of the craving to exploit and that it is the soil from which the expressed demand draw their sustenance. When we realize that there is simultaneously a tendency to frustrate others, the nature of the exploitation becomes still clearer. It would be a mistake to say that the sadistic person never wants to give anything. Under certain conditions one may even be generous. #RandolphHarris 9 of 21

What is typical of sadism is not a stinginess in the sense of withholding but a much more active, though unconscious, impulse to thwart others—to kill their joy and to disappoint their expectations. Any satisfaction or buoyancy of the partner’s almost irresistibly provokes the sadistic person to spoil it in some way. If the partner looks forward to seeing one, one tends to be sullen. It the partner wants pleasures of the flesh, one will be frigid or impotent. One may not even have to do, or fail to do, anything beneficial. By simply radiating gloom one acts as a depressant. One did not have to do anything: it was enough for one just to be. They shriveled and turned morbid by mere infection. What an exquisite refinement of the will to power, what an elegant cruelty! And what an amazing gift for that contagious gloom which damps even the highest spirits and stifles the very possibility of joy. As significant as any of these is the sadistic person’s tendency to disparage and humiliate others. One is remarkably keen at seeing shortcomings, at discovering the weak spots in others and pointing them out. One knows intuitively where others are sensitive and can be hurt. And one tends to use one’s intuition mercilessly for derogatory criticism. This may be rationalized as honesty or as a wish to be helpful; one may believe oneself to be sincerely troubled by doubts in regard to the other person’s competence or integrity—but if the sincerity of one’s doubts are questioned, one will become panicky. #RandolphHarris 10 of 21

It may also appear as mere suspiciousness. The individual may say: “If only I could trust that person!” However, after having translated one in one’s dreams into everything loathsome from a worm to a germ, how could one expect to trust him or her! In other words, suspiciousness can be merely a consequence of disparaging another person in one’s own mind. And if the sadistic person is unaware of one’s disparaging attitude one may be conscious only of the resulting suspiciousness. Again it would seem more appropriate to speak of a passion for fault-finding than of simply tendency. One not only turns one’s searchlight on actual flaws but is extremely adept at externalizing one’s own faults and so building up a case against the other fellow. If, for instance, one has upset someone by one’s own behavior, one will immediately show concern or even contempt for that person’s emotional instability. If the partner, being intimidated, is not entirely frank with one, one will reproach him or her for one’s secrecy or for lying. One will reproach one for being dependent on one when one oneself has one all one could to make one so. Such undermining is not just a matter of words but is accompanied by all sorts of scornful behaviour. Humiliating and degrading practices of pleasures of the flesh can be one of its expression. #RandolphHarris 11 of 21

When any of these drives is frustrated, or when the tables are turned and the sadistic person feels oneself dominated, exploited, or scored, one may have spells of an almost insane rage. In one’s imagination, then, no torture is great enough to inflect upon the offender: one may kick him or her, beat him or her, slice him or her to pieces. These spells of sadistic rage can in turn be repressed, and give raise to a state of acute panic or some functional somatic disturbance pointing to an increase of inner tension. What, then, is the meaning of these trends? What are the inner necessities that compel a person to behave with such cruelty? The assumption that sadistic trends are the expression of a perverted drive in dealing with pleasures of the flesh has n basis in fact. It is true that they can be expressed in behaviour that is based in pleasures of the flesh. In this they are no exception to the general rule that all our character attitudes are bound to manifest themselves in the sphere of pleasures of the flesh—as they do in our way of working, in our gait, in out handwriting. It is also true that many sadistic pursuits are carried on with a certain excitement or, as I have said repeatedly, with an absorbing passion. The conclusion, however, that these affects of thrill or excitement are involved in the nature of pleasures of the flesh, even when they are not felt as such, merely rests on the premise that every excitement is in itself dealing with pleasure of the flesh. #RandolphHarris 12 of 21

However, there is no evidence to substantiate such a premise. Phenomenologically the two sensations of sadistic thrill and abandonment in pleasures of the flesh are entirely different in nature. The assertion that sadistic impulses are a persisting infantile trend has a certain appeal in that young children are often cruel to animals or younger children, and apparently get a thrill out of it. In view of this superficial similarity one might say that the elementary cruelty of the child has merely been refined. However, actually it is not only refined: the cruelty of the adult sadist is different in kind. As we have seen, it has distinct characteristics which are lacking in the child’s outright cruelty. The child’s cruelty seems to be a comparatively simple response to feeling oppressed or humiliated. One asserts oneself by exercising one’s vengeance on weaker folk. Specifically sadistic trends are more complicated and grow from more complicated roots. Besides, like every attempt to account for later peculiarities by relating them directly to early experiences, this one, too, leave an all-important question unanswered that we will come back to at a later date. Now that we have explored the issue of freedom as an expression of grace, we can quote the remainder of Galatians 5.13, “But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.” #RandolphHarris 13 of 21

The moral law, rightly understood, does not squelch grace or abridge our freedom in Christ. God’s grace provides the only proper motive, as well as the only powerful motivation, to obey His commands. Our obedience, to be true obedience, must arise out of love for God and gratitude for His grace. The moral law of God gives direction to our love. If I truly desire to express my love to God, I need to know how to do that appropriately. Jesus gave us very simply directions (simple to understand, if not to practice): “If you love me, you will obey what I command,” reports John 14.15. Though the law gives direction, it provides no power to enable us to obey it. However, God, by delivering us from the reign of sin and the law, and bringing us unto His realm of grace, has provided the power in Christ and through His Spirit. So God by His grace has given us the right motive, the right rule of direction, and the needed power to live a life of love. Only when we understand these basic truths are we in a position to respond to Paul’s exhortation not to abuse our freedom, but instead, to serve one another in love. Here is a spiritual principle: We cannot exercise love unless we are experiencing grace. You cannot truly love others unless you are convinced that God’s love for you in unconditional, based solely on the merit of Christ, not on your performance. John said, “We love because we first loved us,” reports 1 John 4.19. #RandolphHarris 14 of 21

Our love, either to God or to others, can only be a response to His love for us. There are five words all beginning with the letter “L” that we need to keep in right relationship to one another. All five are either used or implied in Galatians 5.13-14. They are law, liberty, love, license, and legalism. (I have not used license up to now, and by that word I mean an abuse of our freedom in order to indulge our sinful nature.) We need to learn to live within the right relationships of law and love, law and liberty, and liberty and love. Only when we have those relationships in proper order will we avoid the traps of license on the one hand and legalism on the other. Grace keeps the law, love, and liberty in right relationship to one another. In one southern state, a narrow two-lane highway has been built through a swampland by building up the road bed above the swamp. You must be extra alert not to drift off the rod because there is no margin for error. If you go off the road, you do not end up on a grassy shoulder but rather submerged in a swamp. The built-up roadbed can also represent grace that allows you to drive safely through the swampland of legalism and license. When you focus on grace in the fullness of its meaning, you will keep the law, liberty, and love in their proper relationship to one another. However, if you focus on anyone of the instead of on grace, you will invariably end up in the swamp of legalism or license. #RandolphHarris 15 of 21

What do I mean by the phrase, “grace in the fullness of its meaning?” An expression often used in a pejorative sense is cheap grace. The term denotes an attitude that, since God’s grace is unconditional, I may live as I please; I may sin as much as I want because God will still love me and forgive me. That is the attitude of license. It results from focusing exclusively on liberty and denigrating God’s law. To counteract this sinful attitude, some of us in Christian ministry have fallen into legalism. We have taught, either directly or implicitly, that God’s grace is conditional, that there is a degree to which it is based on our performance. We have unduly focused on God’s law and disparaged liberty. However, the reality is that there is no such things as cheap grace. To us, the recipients, grace is not cheap; it is unconditionally free. However, grace is not cheap to God either. Although grace is part of essential nature of God, the extending of His grace to us cost Him the most expensive price every paid, the death of His own dear Son. So grace is never cheap. It is absolutely free to us, but infinitely expensive to God. That is what I mean by grace in the fullness of its meaning. Anyone who is prone to use grace as a license for irresponsible, sinful behaviour, surely does not appreciate the infinite price God paid to give of His grace. However, anyone who tends to use legalism as a hedge against license, just as surely forget that grace cannot be earned by our behaviour. #RandolphHarris 16 of 21

All of us need to diligently apply ourselves to learning to live under the reign of God’s transforming grace. Then love, liberty, and the law will take their proper places in our lives, and we will avoid the swamplands of both legalism and license. The Book of Jacob who is the Brother of Nephi—the words of his preaching unto his brethren. He confoundeth a person who seeketh to overthrow the doctrine of Christ. A few words concerning the history of the people of Nephi. Jacob and Joseph seek to persuade humans to believe in Christ and keep His comandments—Nephi dies—wickedness prevails among the Nephites. About 544-421 Before Christ. “For behold, it came to pass that fifty and five years had passed away from the time that Lehi left Jerusalem; wherefore, Nephi gave me, Jacob, a commandment concerning the small plates, upon which these things are engraven, And he gave me, Jacob, a commandment that I should write upon these plates a few of the things which I considered to be most precious; that I should not touch, save it were lightly, concerning the history of this people which are called the people of Nephi. For he said that the history of his people should be engraven upon his other plates, and that I should preserve these plates and hand them down unto my seed, from generation to generation. #RandolphHarris 17 of 21

“And if there were preaching which was sacred, or revelation which was great, or prophesying, that I should engraven the heads of them upon these plates, and touch upon them as much as it were possible, for Christ’s sake, and for the sake of our people. For because of faith and great anxiety, it truly had been made manifest unto us concerning our people, what things should happen unto them. And we also had many revelations, and the spirit of much prophecy; wherefore, we knew of Christ and his kingdom, which should come. Wherefore we labored diligently among our people, that we might persuade them to come unto Christ, and partake of the goodness of God, that they might enter into his rest, lest by any means one should swear in his wrath they should not enter in, as in the provocation in the days of temptation while the children of Israel were in the wilderness. Wherefore, we would to God that we could persuade all humans not to rebel against God, to provoke him to anger, but that all humans would believe in Christ, and view his death, and suffer his cross and bear the shame of the World; wherefore, I, Jacob, take it upon me to fulfill the commandment of my brother Nephi. Now Nephi began to be old, and he saw that he must soon die; wherefore, he anointed a human to be a kind and a ruler over his people now, according to the reigns of the kings. #RandolphHarris 18 of 21

“The people having loved Nephi exceedingly, he having been a great protector for them, having wielded the sword of Laban in their defence, and having labored in all his days for their welfare—wherefore, the people were desirous to retain in remembrance his name. And whoso should reign in his stead were called by the people, second Nephi, third Nehip, and so forth, according to reigns of the kings; and thus they were called by the people, let them be of whatever name they would. And it came to pass that Nephi died. Now the people which were not Lamanites were Nephites; nevertheless, they were called Nephites, Jacobites, Josephites, Zoramites, Lamanites, Lemuelites, and Ishamaelites. However, I, Jacob, shall not hereafter distinguish them by these names, but I shall call them Lamanites that seek to destroy the people of Nephi, and those who are friendly to Nephi I shall call Nephites, or the people of Nephi, according to the reigns of the kings. And now it came to pass that the people of Nephi, under the reign of the second king, began to grow hard in their hearts, and indulge themselves somewhat in wicked practices, such as like unto David of old desiring many wives and concubines, and also Solomon, his son. Yea, and they also began to search much gold and silver, and began to be lifted up somewhat in pride. Wherefore I, Jacob, gave into them these words as I taught them in the temple, having first obtained mine errand from the Lord. #RandolphHarris 19 of 21

“For I, Jacob, gave unto them these words as I taught them in the temple, having first obtained mine errand from the Lord. For I, Jacob, and my brother Joseph had been consecrated priests and teachers of this people, by the hand of Nephi. And we did magnify our office unto the Lord, taking upon us the responsibility, answering the sins of the people upon our own heads if we did not teach them the word of God with all diligence; wherefore, by labouring with our might their blood might not come upon our garments; otherwise their blood would come upon our garments, and we would not be found spotless at the last day,” reports Jacob 1.1-19. May the oblation, O Lord, be of good effect, which I humbly offer to Thy Majesty for the welfare of your children; that their lives, amid prosperity and adversity, may everywhere be guided by Thy providence; through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Lord Jesus, please give me to love Thee, to embrace Thee, though I once took lust and sin in my arms. Thou didst love me before I loved Thee, an enemy, a sinner, a loathsome work. Thou didst own me when I disclaimed myself; thou dost love me as a son, and weep over me as over Jerusalem. Love brought Thee from Heaven to Earth, from Earth to the cross, from the cross to the grace. Love caused Thee to be weary, hungry, tempted, scorned, scourged, buffeted, spat upon, crucified, and pierced. #RandolphHarris 20 of 21

Love led Thee to bow Thy head in death. My salvation is the point where perfect created love and the most perfect uncreated love meet together; for thou dost welcome me, not like Joseph and his brothers, loving and sorrowing, but loving and rejoicing. Thy love is not intermittent, cold, changeable; it does not cease or abate for all my enmity. Holiness is a spark from Thy love kindled to a flame in my heart by Thy Spirit, and so it ever turns to the place from which it comes. Let me see Thy love everywhere, not only in the cross, but in the fellowship of believers and in the World around me. When I feel the warmth of the Sun of righteousness with healing power. When I feel the tender rain may I think of the gospel showers that water my soul. When I walk by the river side may I praise thee for that stream that makes the eternal city glad, and washes white my robes that I may have the right to the tree of life. Thy infinite love is a mystery of mysteries, and my eternal rest lies in the eternal enjoyment of it. “You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, ‘Abraham believed in God, and it was credited to hum as righteousness, and he was called God’s friend. You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone,” reports James 2.22-24. #RandolphHarris 21 of 21

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Please be present, be present, Jesus, Good High Prisent, in the midst of us, as Thou wast in the midst of Thy disciples. Please sanctify this oblation. (If you are interested in a home, you can contact Cresleigh Homes Customer Care Department at 3001 Douglas Boulevard #110, Roseville, California 95661. You can fax it to this number: 916-781-6080. Or you can call 916-526-3642. When you move into you new home, everything should be in working order.)

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