
It is not clear that we must take into account what the environment does to an organism not only before but after it responds. Behaviour is shaped and maintained by its consequences. If we ourselves are clear as to exactly what is meant by taking responsibility for oneself, we will understand that it is hard, if not impossible, for any neurotic to assume it. It means in the first place to acknowledge in a matter-of-fact way—to oneself and others—that such-and-such were one’s intentions, one’s words or one’s actions, and to be willing to take the consequences. This would be the opposite of lying or of putting the blame on others. To take responsibility for oneself in this sense would be hard for the neurotic because as a rule one does not know what one is doing or why one is doing it and has a keen subjective interest in not knowing. That is why one often tries to wriggle out by denying, forgetting, belittling, inadvertently supplying other motivations, feeling misunderstood, or getting confused. And since one tends to exclude or absolve oneself, one readily assumes that one’s wife, one’s business partner, one’s analyst are responsible for any difficulty that arises. Another factor that frequently contributes to one’s inability to take the consequences of one’s actions or even to see them is a hidden feeling of omnipotence, on the basis of which one expects to do whatever one pleases and get away with it. #RandolphHarris 1 of 23
To recognize the inescapable consequences of one’s actions would shatter this feeling of being a god. A final factor that is relevant here looks at first glance like an intellectual incapacity to think in terms of cause and effect. The neurotic commonly gives the impression of being inherently able to think only in terms of punishment. Almost every patient feels that the analyst is blaming one, whereas actually the analyst is only confronting one with one’s difficulties and their consequences. Outside the analytical situation one may feel like a culprit always under suspicion and attack and therefore constantly on the defensive. In reality this is an externalization of intrapsychic processes. As we have seen, the source from which these suspicions and attacks stem is one’s own idealized image. It is this inner process of fault finding and defense, plus its externalization, that makes it almost impossible for one to conceive of a cause-and-effect relation where one oneself is concerned. However, where difficulties of one’s own are not involved one can be just as matter-of-fact as anyone else. If the streets get wet because it is raining one does not ask whose fault it is but accepts the causal connection. #RandolphHarris 2 of 23
When we speak of assuming responsibility for the self we mean, in addition, the capacity to stand up for what we believe is right and a willingness to take the consequences if our action or decision should prove to be wrong. This, too, is difficult when a person is divided by conflicts. For which of the conflict trends within oneself should one or could one stand up? None of them represents what one really wants or believes in. One really could stand up only for one’s idealized image. This, however, does not permit of the possibility of being wrong. Hence if one’s decision or action leads to trouble, one must falsify matters and ascribe the adverse consequences to someone else. A comparatively simple example will illustrate this problem. A person at the head of an organization craves unlimited power and prestige. Nothing may be done or decided without one; one cannot bring oneself to delegate functions to others who by virtue of their particular training might be better equipped to handle certain affairs. There is, in one’s own mind, nothing one does not know best. Besides, one does not want anyone else to feel or to become important. If only because of limitations of time and energy, one’s expectations of oneself would be impossible to measure up to. #RandolphHarris 3 of 23
However, this particular individual wants not only to dominate; one is also complaint and needs to be superhumanly good. As a result of one’s unresolved conflicts one has all the earmarks we have described—inertia and need for sleep, indecision and procrastination, and hence cannot organize one’s time. And since one feels the keeping of appointments as intolerable coercion, one secretly enjoys making people wait. In addition, one does many unimportant tings merely because they flatter one’s vanity. Finally, one’s urge to be a devoted family person consumes much of one’s time and thought. Naturally, then, things do not function very well in the organization; but seeing no flaw in oneself, one puts the blame on others or on untoward circumstances. Again let us ask, for which part of one’s personality could one take responsibility? For one’s tendency to dominate, or for one’s tendency to comply, appease, and ingratiate oneself? To begin with, one is unaware of either. However, even if one were aware of them one could not uphold one and discard the other, because both are compulsory. Furthermore, one’s idealized image does not allow one to see anything in oneself but ideal virtues and unlimited capacities. Hence one cannot take responsibility for the consequences that inevitably follow from the operation of one’s conflicts. To do so would bring into clear relief all that one is so anxious to conceal from oneself. #RandolphHarris 4 of 23
Generally speaking, the neurotic is especially averse—unconsciously—to assuming responsibility for the consequences of one’s actions. One shuts one’s eye to even the very obvious ones. Unable to do away with one’s conflicts, one insists—again unconsciously—that one, all powerful as one is, should be able to cope with them. Consequences, one believes, may catch up with other, but for one they do not exist. One must therefore keep on dodging any recognition of the laws of cause and effect. If one would only open one’s mind to them, they could teach one a powerful lesson. They demonstrate in a foolproof way that one’s system of living does not work, that for all one’s unconscious cunning and trickery one cannot budge the laws that operate in our psychic life with the same inexorability as in the physical sphere, but there is an astonishing lack of understand of these psychic laws in the New World. As a matter of act, the whole subject of responsibility has little appeal for one. One sees—or dimly senses—only its negative aspects. What one does not see, and learn to appreciate only gradually, is that by turning one’s back on it one defeats one’s ardent strivings for independence. One hopes to attain independence by defiantly excluding all commitments, whereas in reality the assuming of responsibility for oneself and to oneself is an indispensable condition of real inner freedom. #RandolphHarris 5 of 23
In order not to recognize that one’s problems and one’s suffering stem from one’s inner difficulties, the neurotic resorts to any of three devices—and often to all of them. Externalization may be applied to the hilt at this point, in which case everything from food, climate, or constitution to parents, wife, or fate is blamed for the particular calamity. Or one may take the attitude that since nothing is one’s fault it is unfair that any misfortune should befall one. It is unfair that one should tall ill, get old, or die, that one should be unhappily married, have a problem child, or think one’s work remain unrecognized. This kind of thinking, which may be conscious or unconscious, is doubly wrong, for it eliminates not only one’s own share in one’s difficulties but also all the factors independent of oneself that have a bearing on one’s life. Nevertheless, it has a logic of its own. It is the typical thinking of an isolated being who is centered exclusively upon oneself and whose egocentricity makes it impossible for one to see oneself as only a small link in a greater chain. One simply takes it for granted that one should derive all the good of living at a particular time in a particular social system, but resents being linked with others for good or ill. Therefore one cannot see why one should suffer from anything in which one has not been personally implicated. #RandolphHarris 6 of 23
The third device is connected with one’s refusal to recognize cause-and-effect relationships. Consequences appear in one’s mind as isolated occurrences, unrelated to oneself or one’s difficulties. A depression or a phobia, for instance, may seem to descend upon one from the blue. This, of course, might be due to psychological ignorance or lack of observation. However, in analysis we can see that the patient offers a most tenacious resistance to taking cognizance of any impalpable connections. One may remain incredulous or forget them; or one may feel that the analyst, instead of speedily removing the troublesome disturbances—which was what one came for—puts the “blame” on one and cleverly saves one’s own face. Thus a patient may have become familiar with factors relevant to one’s inertia but close one’s mind to the obvious fact that one’s inertia slows up not only one’s analysis but everything else one does. Or another may have become aware of one’s aggressive-derogatory behaviour toward people but cannot understand why one often has quarrels and is disliked. That these difficulties exist within one is one thing, but one’s actual day-to-day problems are something else again. This separation of one’s inner troubles from their effect on one’s life is one of the mainsprings of the whole tendency to compartmentalize. #RandolphHarris 7 of 23
Resistance toward recognizing the consequences of neurotic attitudes and drives is for the most part deeply concealed and may be easily overlooked by the analyst for the very reason that to one the connection is so obvious. This is unfortunate, because unless the patient is made aware that one blinds oneself to consequences and the reasons for which one does so, one cannot possibly realize to what an extent one interferers with one’s own life. Awareness of consequences is the most powerful curative factor in analysis in that it impresses on the patient’s mind that only by changing certain things within oneself can one ever attain freedom. If, then, the neurotic cannot be held accountable for one’s pretenses, one’s arrogance, one’s egocentricity, one’s shirking of responsibility, can we speak in terms of morals at all? The argument will be raised that, as physicians, we need only be concerned with the patient’s illness and cure, and that one’s morals are not our province. It will be pointed out that one of Dr. Freud’s great merits was to have overthrown the “moralistic” attitude I seem to advocate! Such arguments are deemed scientific; but are they tenable? Can we really exclude in matters of human behaviour judgment as to right and wrong? #RandolphHarris 8 of 23
If analysts decide what needs analytical examination and what does not, do they not really proceed on the basis of the very judgments they consciously reject? There is a danger, however, in such implicit judgments: they are likely to be made on either too subjective or too traditional a ground. Thus an analyst may feel that a man’s philandering need not be analyzed, while a woman’s deserves scrutiny. Or if one believes in an unbridled living out of drives in dealing with pleasures of the flesh, one may decide that faithfulness, whether in a man or a woman, needs analysis. Actually, judgments should be made on the basis of the particular patient’s neurosis. The question to be decided is whether an attitude the patient has assumed has consequences injurious to one’s development and to one’s relations with people. If it has, it is wrong and needs to be tackled. The reasons for the analyst’s conclusion should be explicitly stated to the patient in order to enable one to make up one’s own mind in the matter. And finally, do not the above arguments contain the same fallacy as exists in the patient’s thinking—namely, that morals are only a question of judgment and not primarily one of fact couple with consequences? Let us take neurotic arrogance as an example. It exists as a fact no matter whether the patient is responsible for it or not. #RandolphHarris 9 of 23
The analyst believes that arrogance is a problem for the patient to recognize and eventually overcome. Does one assume this critical attitude because one has learned in Sunday school that arrogance is sinful and humility a virtue? Or is one’s judgment determined by the fact that arrogance is unrealistic and has adverse consequences, the burden of which is inevitably that patient’s—again regardless of one’s responsibility. The consequences, though, in the case of arrogance bar the patient from knowing oneself, and so thwart one’s development. Also, the arrogant patient is apt to be unfair to others, and this again has its repercussions—not merely in subjecting one to occasional clashes with others but in alienating one from people generally. This, however, only drives one deeper into one’s neurosis. Because the patient’s morals in part result from one’s neurosis and in part contribute to its maintenance, the analyst has no choice but to be interested in them. Interestingly enough, those who share a particular stigma can often rely upon mutual aid in passing, again illustrating that those who can be most threatening are often those who can render most assistance. For example, when one homosexual accosts another, the action may be carried out in such a way that normal are unaware that anything out of the ordinary is occurring. #RandolphHarris 10 of 23
If we watch very carefully, and know what to watch for in a “gay” bar, we begin to observe that some individuals are apparently communicating with each other without exchanging words, but simply by exchanging glances—but not the kind of quick glance which ordinarily occurs between people of the same gender. The same kind of cooperativeness is to be found among the circles of stigmatized persons who know one another personally. For example, former mental patients who knew each other in the institution may maintain tactful control of this fact on the outside. In some cases, as when one of the individuals is with normal, the individual may give and be given the “go by,” the passing by of each other as though they were unacquainted. Where a greeting does occur, it may be handled discreetly; the context of the initial acquaintanceship is not made explicit, and the individual whose situation is the more delicate is accorded the right to pace the acknowledgment and the sociable exchange that follows from it. Former mental patients are not alone here of course: The professional women of the evening has a code regulating her relations with the client. For example, it is customary for a woman of the evening never to show any signs of recognizing a client when she meets one in public, unless he greets her first. #RandolphHarris 11 of 23
Where this kind of discretion is not afforded, one can sometimes expect the discredited individual to take active disciplinary action, as Reiss, in his paper on juvenile entrepreneurs, illustrates by quoting an informant. “I was walkin’ down the street with my steady girl when this gay drives by that I had been with once before and he whistles at me and calls, ‘Hi, Sweetie.’ And, was I mad…so I went down to where the boys was and we laid for him and beat on him ‘til he like to a never come to…ain’t gonna take nothin’ like that off’n a queer.” It is expected to be that voluntary maintenance of various types of distance will be employed strategically by those who pass, the discreditable here using much the same devices as do the discredited, but for slightly different reasons. By declining or avoiding overtures of intimacy the individual can avoid the consequent obligation to divulge information. By keeping relationships distant one ensures that time will not have to be spent with the other, for, as already stated, the more time that is spent with another the more chance of unanticipated events that disclose secrets. Examples may be cited from the stigma management work done by wives of mental patients. #RandolphHarris 12 of 23
“But I have cut off all our other friends [after citing five who “knew”]. I did not tell them that I was giving up the apartment and I had the phone disconnected without telling anyone so they do not know how to get in touch with me. I have not gotten too friendly with anyone at the office because I do not want people to know where my husband is. I figure that if I got too friendly with them, then they would start asking questions, and I might start talking, and I just think it is better if as few people as possible know about Joe.” By maintaining physical distance, the individual can also restrict the tendency of others to build up a personal identification of one. By residing in a region with a mobile population, one can limit the amount of continuous experience others have of one. By residing in a region cut off from one one ordinarily frequents one can introduce a disconnectedness in one’s biography: whether intentionally, as in the case of an unmarried young lady with an unborn child going out of state to have her baby, or of small-town homosexuals going to New York, Los Angeles, or Paris for relatively anonymous activity; or unintentionally, as in the case of the mental patient who gratefully finds that one’s place of commitment is far out of town and hence somewhat cut off from one’s ordinary contacts. #RandolphHarris 13 of 23
By staying indoors and not answering the phone or door, the discreditable individual can remove oneself from most of those contacts in which one’s disgrace might be established as part of the biography others have of one. A final possibility must now be considered, one that allows the individual to forego all the others. One can voluntarily disclose oneself, thereby radically transforming one’s situation from that of an individual with information to manage to that of an individual with uneasy social situations to manage, from that of a discreditable person to that of a discredited one. Once a secretly stigmatized person has given information about oneself it becomes possible, of course, for one to engage in any of the adaptive actions previously cited as being available to the known-to-be stigmatized, this accounting in part for one’s policy of self-disclosure. One method of disclosure is for the individual voluntarily to wear a stigma symbol, a highly visible sign that advertises one’s failing wherever one goes. There are, for example, hard of hearing persons who wear hearing devices that are nearly invisible; the partly blind who affect a collapsible white cane; Jewesses who wear a Star of David as a necklace. #RandolphHarris 14 of 23
It should be noted that some of these stigma symbols, such as a Knights of Columbus lapel button indicating that the wearer is Catholic, are not frankly presented as disclosures of stigma, but purportedly attest rather to membership in organizations claimed to have no such significance in themselves. It should be noted also that militant programs of all kinds can be served by this device, for the self-symbolizing individual ensures one’s being cut off from the society of normal. The manner in which a sect of New York Jews present themselves provides an example: “Obgehitene Yiden, ‘Guardian Jews,’ include those so-called ultra-Orthodox Jews who not only observe the Shulhan Aruch in the most minute detail but are most meticulous and zealous in their observance. They perform all the prescribed commandments and precepts with greatest care. These people are overtly identifiable as Jews. They wear beards and/or special traditional clothing for the exclusive purpose of being externally identified as Jewish: beards so that the ‘image of God should be upon their faces,’ traditional garments so that they ‘may refrain from any possible sin.’” Stigma symbols have the character of being continuously available for perception. #RandolphHarris 15 of 23
Some less rigid means of disclosure are also used. Fleeting offerings of evidence may be made—purposeful slips, as it were—as when a person has not disclosed their preference for same sex relationships and voluntarily commits the clumsy act of showing someone pictures one of which is private picture of himself as a way of informing new comers of his sigma. There is also disclosure etiquette, a formula whereby the individual admits one’s own failing in a matter of fact way, supporting the assumption that those present are above such concerns while preventing them from trapping themselves into showing that they are not. Thus the “good” Jew or mental patient waits for “an appropriate time” in a conversation with strangers and calmly says: “Well, being Jewish has made me feel that…” or “Having had first-hand experience as a mental patient I can…” Earlier it was suggested that learning to pass constitutes one phase in the socialization of the stigmatized person and a turning point in one’s moral career. I want to suggest now that if an individual can come to accept oneself and respect oneself, that the stigmatized individual can come to feel that one should be above passing, and will feel no need to conceal one’s failing. #RandolphHarris 16 of 23
After laboriously learning to conceal, then, the individual may go on to unlearn this concealment. It is here that voluntary disclosure fits into the moral career, a sign of one of its phases. It should be added that in the published autobiographies of stigmatized individuals, this phase in the moral career is typically described as the final, mature, well-adjusted one—a state of grace I will attempt to consider later. Many false churches will be built up in the last days—they will teach false, vain, and foolish doctrines—apostasy will abound because of false teachers—the devil will rage in the hearts of humans—he will teach all manner of false doctrines. About 559-545 Before Christ. “And now, behold, my brethren, I have spoken unto you, according as the Spirit hath constrained me; wherefore, I know that they must surely come to pass. And the things which shall be written out of the book shall be of great worth unto the children of humans, and especially unto our seed, which is a remnant of the house of Israel. For it shall come to pass in that day that the churches which are built up, and not unto the Lord, when the one shall say unto the other: Behold, I, I am the Lord’s; and the others shall say: I, I am the Lord’s; and thus shall every one say that hath built up churches, and not unto the Lord– #RandolphHarris 17 of 23
“And they shall contend one with another; and their priests shall contend one with another, and they shall teach with their learning, and deny the Holy Ghost, which giveth utterance. And they deny the power of God, the Holy One of Israel; and they say unto the people: Hearken unto us, and hear ye our precept; for behold there is no God today, for the Lord and the Redeemer hath done his work, and he hath given his power unto humans; behold, hearken ye unto my precept; if they shall say there is a miracle wrought by the hand of the Lord, believe it not; for this day he is not a God of miracles; he hath done his work. Yea, and there shall be many which shall say: Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die; and it shall be well with us. And there shall also be many which shall say: Eat, drink, and be merry; nevertheless, fear God—he will justify in committing a little sin; yea lie a little, take advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbour; there is no harm in this; and do all these things, for tomorrow we die; and if it so be that we are guilty, God will beat us with a few stripes, and at last we shall be saved in the kingdom of God. Yea, and there shall be many which shall teach after this manner, false and vain and foolish doctrines, and shall be puffed up in their hearts, and shall seek deep to hide their counsels from the Lord; and their works shall be in the dark. And the blood of the saints shall cry from the ground against them. #RandolphHarris 18 of 23
“Yea, they have all gone out of the way; they have become corrupted. Because of pride, and because of false teachers, and false doctrine, their churches have become corrupted, and their churches are lifted up; because of pride they are puffed up. They rob the poor because of their fine sanctuaries; they rob the poor because of their fine clothing; and the persecute the meek and the poor in heart, because in their pride they are puffed up. They wear stiff necks and high heads; yea, and because of pride, and wickedness, and abominations, and whoredoms, they have all gone astray save it be a few, who are the humble followers of Christ; nevertheless, they are led, that in many instances they do err because they are taught by the precepts of humans. O the wise, and the learned, and the rich, that are puffed up in the pride of their hearts, and all those who preach false doctrines, and all those who commit whoredoms, and pervert the right way of the Lord, wo, wo, wo be unto them, saith the Lord God Almighty, for they shall be thrust down to hell! Wo unto them that turn aside the just for a thing of naught and revile against that which is good, and say that it is of no worthy! For the day shall come that the Lord God will speedily visit the inhabitants of the Earth; and in that day that they are fully ripe in iniquity they shall perish. However, behold, if the inhabitants of the Earth shall repent of their wickedness and abominations they shall not be destroyed, saith the Lord of Hosts. #RandolphHarris 19 of 23
“However, behold, that great and abominable church, the whore of all the Earth, must tumble to the Earth, and great must be the fall thereof. For the kingdom of the devil must shake, and they which belong to it must needs be stirred up unto repentance, or the devil will grasp them with his everlasting chains, and they be stirred up to anger, and perish; for behold, at that day shall he rage in the hearts of the children of humans, and stir them up to anger against that which is good. And others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell. And behold, other he flattereth away, and telleth them there is no hell; and he saith unto them: I am no devil, for there is none—and thus he whsipereth in their ears, until he grasps them with his awful chains, from whence there is no deliverance. Yea, they are grasped with death, and hell; and death, and hell, and the devil, and all that have been seized therewith must stand before the throne of God, and be judged according to their works, from whence they must go into the place prepared for them, even a lake of fire and brimstone, which is endless torment. Therefore, wo be unto ne that is at ease in Zion! Wo be unto one that crieth: All is well! #RandolphHarris 20 of 23
“Yea, wo be unto one that hearkeneth unto the precepts of humans, and denieth the power of God, and the gift of the Holy Ghost! Yea, wo be unto one that saith: We have received, and we need no more! And in fine, wo unto all those who tremble, and are angry because of the truth of God! For behold, one that is built upon the rock receiveth it with gladness; and one that is built upon a sandy foundation trembleth lest one shall fall. And in fine, wo unto all those who tremble, and are angry because of the truth of God! For behold, one that is built upon the rock receiveth it with gladness; and one that is built upon a sandy foundation trembleth lest one shall fall. Wo be unto one that shall say: We have received the word of God, and we need no more of the word of God, for we have enough! For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of humans line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto one that receiveth I will give more; and for them that shall say, We have enough, from them shall be taken away even that which they have. Cursed is one that putteth one’s trust in humans, or maketh flesh one’s arm, or shall hearken unto the precepts of humans, save their precepts shall be given by the power of the Holy Ghost. #RandolphHarris 21 of 23
“Wo be unto the Gentiles, saith the Lord God of Hosts! For notwithstanding I shall lengthen out mine arm unto them from day to day, they will deny me; nevertheless, I will be merciful unto them, saith the Lord God, if they will repent and come unto me; for mine arm is lengthened out all the day long, saith the Lord God of Host,” reports 2 Nephi 28.1-32. O Lord our God, Who hast called us Christians after the Name of Thine Only-begotten Son, and hast given us Baptism in the Font for the remission of sins; make us, we beseech Thee, worthy now to receive this Communion for the remission of our sins, and to glorify Thee with thanksgiving. O God, may I never be a blot or a blank in life, cause the way of truth to be evil spoken of, or make my liberty an occasion to the flesh. May I by love serve others, and please my neighbour for one’s good edification. May I attend to what is ornamental as well as essential in religion, pursuing things that are lovely and of good report. May I render my profession of the gospel not only impressive, but amiable and inviting. May I hold forth the way of Jesus with my life as well as my lips. May I say to all I meet, I am journeying towards the Lord’s given place, some with me for your good. #RandolphHarris 22 of 23
May I be prepared for all the allotments of this short, changing, uncertain life with a useful residence in it, a comfortable journey through it, a safe passage out of it. May I ne in character and conduct like the dew of Heaven, the salt of the Earth, the light of the World, the fullness of the fountain. May I never be ashamed of Jesus or His words, never be deterred from fulfilling a known duty through fear, never be discouraged from attempting it through weakness. May I see all things in a divine light so that they may inform my judgment and sanctify my heart. And by all the disciplines of Thy providence, and all the ordinances of religion, may I be increasingly prepared for life’s remaining duties, the solemnities of a dying hour, and the joys and services that lie beyond the grave. Have mercy, O Lord, upon Thy servants for whom I offer this sacrifice of praise to Thy Majesty; that they may be able to lead a good life in this World, and happily to attain eternal blessedness. Remember, O Lord, Thy servants and handmaids here present, whose faith and devotion are discerned and known by Thee. Look mercifully, O Lord, on these present offerings, that they may avail both for our devotion and our salvation; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Send forth, O Lord, we beseech Thee, the Holy Spirit, to make these present offerings Thy Sacrament unto us, and purify our hearts for its reception. #RandolphHarris 23 of 23
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