Nothing improves a person’s hearing more than praise. An ounce of praise can accomplish more than a ton of faultfinding. And if one looks for it, something worthy of praise can be found in most individuals. If you have some respect for people as they are, you can be more effective in helping them to become better than they are. The future of humans, unless history changes courses, people all over the World will lose their most human qualities, will become soulless automatons, and will not even be aware of it. The moral callousness of the First World War was only the beginning. However, many people are still wondering can human nature be changed in such a way that humans will forget their longing for freedom, for dignity, for integrity, for love—that is to say, can humans forget that they are human? Or does human nature have a dynamism which will react to the violation of these basic needs by attempting to change an inhuman society into a human one? Political parties do not even pretend that their system is intended to make individuals happier, because humans, being frail and cowardly creatures, want to escape from freedom and are unable to face the truth. The leaders are aware of the fact that they themselves have only one aim, and that is to power. #RandolphHarris 1 of 20
To our leaders, power is not a means; it is an end. And power means the capacity to inflict unlimited pain and suffering to another human being. Power, then, for them creates reality, it creates truth. In my graduate training in clinical psychology, I was learning two major ways of relating to individuals who come for help. At Teachers College the approach was to understand about the individual through test, measurement, diagnostic interviews, and perspective advice as to treatment. This cold approach was, however, suffused with warmth by the personality of Dr. Leta Hollingworth, who taught us more by her person than by her lectures. Later, when I interned at the then new and affluent Institute for Child Guidance, I was exposed to a very different atmosphere. Dominated as it was by psychoanalysts, I learned more about the individual. I learned that one cannot be understood without an exhaustive case history seventy-five pages or more in length, going into all the personality dynamics of the grandparents, the parents, the aunts and uncles, and finally the “patient” oneself—possible birth trauma, manner of weaning, degree of dependency, sibling relationships, and on and on. Then there was the elaborate testing, including the newly imported Rorschach, and finally many interviews with the children before deciding what sort of treatment one should have. #RandolphHarris 2 of 20
It nearly always came out the same: the child was treated psychoanalytically by the psychiatrist, the mother was dealt with in the same fashion by the social worker, and occasionally, the psychologist was asked to tutor the child. Yet I carried on my first therapy case there. It started with tutoring but developed into more and more personal interviews, and I discovered the thrill that comes from observing changes in a person’s behaviour. Whether those were due to my enthusiasm or my methods I cannot say. As I look back, I realize that my interests in interviewing and in therapy certainly grew in part out of my early loneliness. Here was a socially approved way of getting really close to individuals and thus filling some of the hungers I had undoubtedly felt. The therapeutic interview also offered a chance of becoming close without having to go through what was to me a long and painful process of gradual and deepening acquaintance. By the time I have completed my work in New York, I knew—with all the assurance of the newly trained—how to deal with people professionally. In spite of the wide difference between Teachers College and the Institute, they both helped me arrive at somewhat the same formula. #RandolphHarris 3 of 20
The formula can be stated as follows: “I will gather an enormous amount of data about this individual: one’s history, one’s intelligence, one’s special abilities, one’s personality. Out of all this I can form an elaborate diagnostic formulation as to the cause of one’s present behaviour, one’s personal and social resource for dealing with one’s situation, and the prognosis for one’s future. I will endeavour to interpret all this in simple language to the responsible agencies, to the parents, and to the child if one is capable of understanding it. I will make sound suggestions which, if carried out, will change the behaviour, and I will reinforce those suggestions by repeated contact. In all of this I remain thoroughly objective, professional, and personally aloof from these persons in trouble, except insofar as personal warmth is necessary to build a satisfactory rapport.” This sounds a bit incredible to me now, but I know it is essentially true because I can recall the scorn I felt for one psychiatrist, not an analyst, who simply dealt with problem children as though he liked them. He even took them to his home. Clearly he had never learned the importance of being professional! #RandolphHarris 4 of 20
Thus when I went to Rochester, New York, as a member of the Child Study Department—really a child guidance clinic for delinquent children and those who were wards of the social agencies because of their poor home environment—I knew what to do. I was so sure, that I remember (painfully) telling PTA and community groups that our clinic was rather similar to a garage: you brought in a problem, received an expert diagnosis, and were advised how the difficulty could be corrected. However, my views were gradually eroded. Living in a stable community, I found I had to live with the consequences of my advice and recommendations—and they did not always workout. Many of the children I worked with were housed temporarily in the detention home next door, so I could see them day after day. I was astonished that sometimes, after a particularly “good” interview where I had interpreted to a boy all the causes of his misbehaviour, he refused to see me the next day! So I had to win him back to find out what had gone wrong. I began to learn, experientially. Then as director of the new and independent Rochester Guidance Center, which replaced the Child Study Department, we had more self-referrals, where we had no authority whatsoever over child or parent and had to build a relationship if we were to help. #RandolphHarris 5 of 20
Then came a few incidents which markedly changed my approach; I shall tell you about the one that stands out most vividly in my mind. An intelligent mother brought her very seriously misbehaving boy to the clinic. I took the history from her myself. Another psychologist tested the boy. We decided in conference that the central problem was the mother’s rejection of her son. I would work with her on this problem. The other psychologist would take the boy on for play therapy. In interview after interview I tried—much more softly and gently now, as a result of experience—to help the mother see the pattern of her rejection and its results in the boy. All to no avail. After about a dozen interviews I told her I thought we had both tried but were getting nowhere, and we should probably call it quits. She agreed. Then, as she was leaving the room, she turned and asked, “Do you ever take adults for counseling here?” Puzzled, I replied that sometimes we did. Whereupon she returned to the chair she had just left and began to pour out a story of the deep difficulties between herself and her husband and her great desire for some kind of help. I was bowled over. What he was telling me bore no resemblance to the neat history I had drawn from her. I scarcely knew wat to do, but mostly I listened. #RandolphHarris 6 of 20
Eventually, after many more interviews, not only did her marital relationship improve, but her son’s problem behaviour dropped away as she became a more real and free person. To jump ahead a bit, she was the first client I ever had who continued to keep in occasional touch with me for years afterward, until her boy was doing well in college. This was a vital learning for me. I had followed her lead rather than mine. I had just listened instead of trying to nudge her toward a diagnostic understanding I had already reached. It was a far more personal relationship, and not nearly so “professional.” Yet the results spoke for themselves. From the words of Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, let us concentrate on one verse: “The Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.” And from this verse, let us make one word—the word “deep”—the subject of our meditation. And from the 130th Psalm let us concentrate on that one verse: “Out of the depth I have cried unto Thee, O Lord;” and let us make one word—the word “depth”—also the subject of our meditation. The words “deep” and “depth” are used in our daily life, in poetry and philosophy, in the Bible, and in many other religious documents, to indicate a spiritual attitude, although the words themselves are taken from a spatial experience. #RandolphHarris 7 of 20
Depth is a dimension of space; yet at the same time it is a symbol for a spiritual quality. Most of our religious symbols have this character, reminding us of our finitude and our bondage to things that are visible. We are and we remain sensuous beings even when we deal with spiritual things. There is, on the other hand, a great wisdom in our language. It is the embodiment of innumerable experiences of the past. It is not by chance alone that we use certain visible symbols and do not use others. Therefore, it is often useful to find the reasons for the choices of the collective mind of former generations. It may become of ultimate significance to us, when we see what is implied int the terms like “deep,” “depth,” and “profound,” for the expression of our spiritual life. It may give us the impulse to strive for our own depth. “Deep” in its spiritual use has two meanings: it means either the opposite of “shallow,” or the opposite of “high.” Truth is deep and not shallow; suffering is depth and not height. Both the light of truth and the darkness of suffering are deep. There is a depth in God, and there is a depth out of which the psalmist cries to God. Why is truth deep? And why is suffering deep? And why is the same spatial symbol used for both experiences? These questions shall guide our meditation. #RandolphHarris 8 of 20
All visible things have a surface. Surface is that side of things which first appears to us. If we look at it, we know what things seems to be. Yet if we act according to what things and persons seem to be, we are disappointed. Our expectations are frustrated. And so we try to penetrate below the surfaces in order to learn what things really are. Why have people always asked for truth? Is it because they have known that the truth which does not disappoint dwells below the surfaces in the depth? And therefore, people have dug through one level after another. What seemed true one day was experiences as a superficial the next. When we encounter a person, we receive an impression. However, often if we act accordingly we are disappointed by one’s actual behaviour. We pierce a deeper level of one’s character, and for some time experience less disappointment. However, soon one may do something which is contrary to all our expectations; and we realize that what we know about one is still superficial. Again we dig more deeply into one’s true being. Since has been carried on this way. Science questions the common assumptions which seem to be true to everyone, to the lay-person as well as to the average scholar. #RandolphHarris 9 of 20
Then the genius comes and asks for the basis of these accepted assumptions; when they are proved not to be true, an Earthquake in science occurs out of the depth. Such Earthquakes occur when Copernicus asked if our sense-impressions could be the ground of astronomy, and when Einstein question whether there is an absolute point from which the observer could look at the motions of things. An Earthquake occurred when Marx questioned the existence of an intellectual and moral history independent of its economic and social basis. It occurred in the most eruptive way when the first philosopher questioned what everybody had taken for granted from times immemorial—being itself. When they became conscious of the astonishing fact, underlying all facts, that there is something and not nothing, an unsurpassable depth of thought was reached. In the light of these great and daring steps toward the deep things of our World, we should look at ourselves and at the opinions we take for granted. And we should see what there is in these things of prejudice, derived from our individual preferences and social surroundings. We should be shocked to notice how little of spiritual World is deeper than the surface, how little would be able to withstand a serious blow. #RandolphHarris 10 of 20
Something terribly tragic happens in all periods of human’s spiritual life: truths, once deep and powerful, discovered by the greatest geniuses through profound suffering and incredible labour, become shallow and superficial when used in daily discussion. How can and how does this tragedy occur? It can and does unavoidably occur, because there can be no depth without the way to the depth. Truth without the way to truth is dead; if it still be used, it contributes only to the surface of things. Look at the student who knows the content of the hundred most important books of World history, and yet whose spiritual life remains as shallow as it ever was, or perhaps becomes even more superficial. And then look at the uneducated worker who performs a mechanical task day by day, but who suddenly askes oneself: “What does it mean, that I do this work? What does it mean for my life? What is the meaning of my life?” Because one asks these questions, that person is on the way into depth, whereas the other person, the student of history, dwells on the surface among petrified bodies of thought, brought out of the depth by some spiritual Earthquake of the past. The simple worker may grasp truth, even though one cannot answer one’s questions: the learned scholar may possess no truth, even though one knows all the truths of the past. #RandolphHarris 11 of 20
So much for the implications of this process. Let us see now how it specifically helps allay tension between the self and the idealized image. For no matter how a person may regard oneself consciously, the disparity between the two will take an unconscious toll; and the more one has succeeded in identifying oneself with the image, the more deeply unconscious will be the reaction. Most commonly it is expressed in self-contempt, rage against the self, and a feeling of coercion, all of which are not only extremely painful but in various ways incapacitate a person of living. Externalization of self-contempt may take on the form either of despising others or of feeling that it is others who look down upon oneself. Both forms are usually present; which is the more prominent, or at least the neurotic character structure. The more aggressive a person is, the more right and superior one feels, the more readily will one despise others, and the less likely would it be to enter one’s mind that others could look down on one. Conversely, the more complaint one is, the more will one’s self-recriminations for one’s failure to measure up to one’s idealized image tend to make one feel that others have no use for one. The effect of the latter is particularly damaging. #RandolphHarris 12 of 20
When others feel that no one has a use for them, it makes a person shy, stilted, withdraw. It makes one overgrateful—indeed abjectly grateful—for any affection or appreciation shown one. At the same time one cannot accept even sincere friendliness at its face value, but vaguely takes it for a kind of undeserved charity. One is rendered defenseless against arrogant persons because part of one agrees with them, and one feels that one’s being treated contemptuously is quite in order. Naturally such reactions breed resentment, which if repressed and piled up may gather explosive strength. In spite of this, experiencing self-contempt in an externalized form has a distinct subjective value. To feel all one’s own scorn would smash whatever spurious self-assurance the neurotic may have and bring one to the verge of collapse. It is painful enough to be despised by others, but there is always hope of being able to change their attitude, or a prospect of paying them back in kind, or a mental reservation that they are unfair. When it is oneself one despises, all this is of no avail. There is no court of appeal. All the hopelessness of the neurotic unconsciously feels in regard to oneself would come into clear relief. One would start not only to despise one’s actual frailties but feel that one is altogether contemptible. #RandolphHarris 13 of 20
This even one’s good qualities would be drawn into the abyss of one’s sense of unworthiness. In other words, one would feel oneself to be despised image; one would see it as an unalterable fact for which there was no help. This points to the advisability in therapeutic procedure of not touching upon self-contempt until the patient’s hopelessness is diminished and the grip of the idealized image considerably loosened. Only then will the patient be able to face it and come to realize that one’s unworthiness is no an objective fact but a subjective feeling stemming from one’s merciless standards. It taking a more lenient attitude toward oneself one will see that the condition is not unalterable, that the attributes one so objects to are not really despicable but are difficulties one can eventually overcome. We shall not understand the neurotic’s rage at oneself or the dimensions it assumes unless we keep in mind how immeasurably important it is for one to maintain the illusion that one is one’s idealized image. The fact that one not only feels despair at one’s inability to measure up to it but is absolutely infuriated at oneself is due to the sense of omnipotence that is an invariable attribute of the image. #RandolphHarris 14 of 20
No matter how insurmountable the odds were against one in childhood, one, the omnipotent, should have been able to overcome them. Even if one realized intellectually how great one’s neurotic entanglements are, one nonetheless feels an impotent rage at having been unable to dispel them. This rage reaches a climax when one is confronted with conflicting drives and realizes that even one is powerless to attain contradictory goals. This is one of the reason why the sudden recognition of a conflict may throw one into a state of acute pain. “Behold, it came to pass that I, Nephi, did cry much unto the Lord my God, because of the anger of my brethren. However behold, their anger did increase against me, in so much that they did seek to take away my life. Yea, they did murmur against me, saying: Our younger brother thinks to rule over us; and we have had much trial because of him; wherefore, now let us slay him, that we may not be afflicted more because of his words. For behold, we will not have him to be our ruler; for it belongs unto us, who are the elder brethren, to rule over this people. Now I do not write upon these plates all the words which they murmured against me. However, it sufficeth me to say, that they did seek to take away my life. And it came to pass that the Lord did warn me, that I, Nephi, should depart from them and fess into the wilderness, and all those who would go with me. #RandolphHarris 15 of 20
“Wherefore, it came to pass that I, Nephi, did take my family, and also Zoram and his family, and Sam, mine elder brother and his family, and Jacob and Joseph, my younger brethren, and also my sisters, and all those who would go with me. And all those who would go with me were those who believed in the warnings and the revelations of God; wherefore, they did hearken unto my words. And we did take our tents and whatsoever things were possible for us, and did journey in the wilderness for the space of many days. And after we had journeyed for the space of many days we did pitch our tents. And my people would that should call the name of the place Nephi’ wherefore, we did call it Nephi. And all those who were with me did take upon them to call themselves the people of Nephi. And we did observe to keep the judgments, and the statutes, and the commandments of the Lord in all things, according to the law of Moses. And the Lord was with us; and we did prosper exceedingly; for we did sow seed, and we did reap again in abundance. And we began to rise flocks, and herds, and animals of every kind. And I, Nephi, had also brought the records which were engraven upon the plates of brass; and also the ball, or compass, which was prepared for my father by the hand of the Lord, according to that which is written. And it came to pass that we began to prosper exceedingly, and to multiply in the land. #RandolphHarris 16 of 20
“And, I Nephi, did take the sword of Laban, and after the manner of it did make many swords, lest by any means the people who were now called Lamanites should come upon us and destroy us; for I know their hatred towards me and my children and those who were called my people. And I did teach my people to build buildings, and to work in all manner of wood, and of iron, and of copper, and of brass, and of steel, and of gold, and of silver, and of precious ores, which were in great abundance. And I, Nephi, did build a temple; and I did construct it after the manner of the temple of Solomon save it were not built of so many precious things; for they were not to be found upon the land, wherefore, it could not be built like unto Solomon’s temple. However, the manner of the construction was like unto the temple of Solomon; and work-personship thereof was exceedingly fine. And it came to pass that they would that I should be their kind. However I, Nephi, was desirous that they should have no king; nevertheless, I did for them according to that which was in my power. And behold, the words of the Lord had been fulfilled unto my brethren, which he spake concerning the, that I should be their ruler and their teacher according to the commandments of the Lord, until the time they sought to take away my life. #RandolphHarris 17 of 20
“Wherefore, the word of the Lord was fulfilled which he spake unto me, saying that: Inasmuch as they will not hearken unto thy words they shall be cut off from his presence. And he has caused the cursing to come upon them, yes, even a sore cursing, because of their iniquity. For behold, they had hardened their hearts against him, that they had become like unto a flint; wherefore, as they were white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome, that they might not be enticing unto my people the Lord God did cause a skin f blackness to come upon them. And thus saith the Lord God: I will cause that they shall be loathsome unto thy people, save they shall repent of their iniquities. And cursed shall be the seed for they shall be cursed even with the same cursing. And the Lord spake it, and it was done. And because of their cursing which was upon them they did become an idle people, full of mischief and subtlety, and did seek in the wilderness for beasts of prey. And the Lord God said unto me: They shall be a scourge unto thy seed, to stir them up in remembrance of me; and inasmuch as they will not remember me, and hearken unto my words, they shall scourge them even unto destruction. And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did consecrate Jacob and Joseph, that they should be priests and teachers over the land of my people. And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness. #RandolphHarris 18 of 20
“And thirty years has passed away from the time we left Jerusalem. And I, Nephi, had kept the records upon my plates, which I had made, of my people thus far. And it came to pass that the Lord God said unto me: Make other plates; and thou shalt engraven many things upon them which are good in my sight, for the profit of thy people. Wherefore, I, Nephi, to be obedient to the commandments of the Lord, went and made these plated upon which I have engraven these things. And I engraven that which is pleasing unto God. And if my people are pleased with the things of God they will be pleased with mine engravings which are upon these plates. And if my people desire to know the more particular part of the history of my people they must search mine other plates. And it sufficeth me to say that forty years had passed away, and we had already had wars and contentions with our brethren,” reports 2 Nephi 5.1-34. Unto Thee, O Lord, we commend the soul of Thy servants, that dying to the World, they may live to Thee; and whatever sins they have committed through the frailty of Earthly life, do Thou clear away by Thy most loving and merciful forgiveness; through Jesus Christ our Lord. #RandolphHarris 19 of 20
Almighty God, as I cross the threshold of this day I commit myself, soul, body, affairs, friends, to Thy care; watch over, keep, guide, direct, sanctify, bless me. Incline my heart to Thy ways; mould me wholly into the image of Jesus, as a potter forms clay; let those around me see me living by Thy Spirit, trampling the World underfoot, unconformed to lying vanities, transformed by a renewed mind clad in the entire amour of God, shining as a never-dimmed light, showing holiness in all my doings. Let no evil this day soil my thoughts, words, hands. May I travel miry paths with a life pure from spot or stain. In needful transactions let my affection be in Heaven, and my love soar upwards in flames of fire, my gaze fixed on unseen things, my eyes open to the emptiness, fragility, mockery of Earth and its vanities. May I view all things in the mirror of eternity, waiting for the coming of my Lord, listening for the last trumpet call, hastening unto the new Heaven and Earth. Order this day all my communications according to Thy wisdom, and to the gain of mutual good. Forbid that I should not be profited or made profitable. May I speak each word as if my last word, and walk each step as my final one. If my life should end today, let this be my best day. #RandolphHarris 20 of 20

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