With all the changes and challenges one faces each day, there has never been a greater need to take the time to determine one’s priorities, and then with renewed focus, align one’s daily actions with one’s purpose or goals. Since one cannot know it all or do it all, it is vital that one learns to take the time to contemplate what it is one needs to know and what one need to do. The art of being wise is to know what to overlook. Where there is equality there can be sanity. Sooner or later it will happen: strength will change into consciousness. Some speculate that in the future, race will cease to be the basis of identity and special-interest power because of the growth in mixed-race people. This is called hybridity. It has been a long-standing dream that increased race mixing will solve our racial problems. Multiraciality disrupts our fixed notions about race and opens up new possibilities with respect to dialogue and engagement across the colour line. It does not, however, mean that race is over. Although the number of people of mixed-racial descent is unclear, and contingent on self-definition, the 2010 US census counted approximately 9 million individuals, or 2.9 percent of the people, self-identified as multiracial, and this has resulted in a growing literature on multiracial identity and its meaning for a racially stratified society. #RandolphHarris 1 of 19

The repeal of antimiscegenation laws, the marked lessening of social distance between racial groups, and interracial marriage among specific groups have contributed to the growth and increased visibility of a multiracial population. I think the attitude toward persons outside our large family can be summed up schematically in this way: “Other persons behave in dubious ways which we do not approve in our family. Many of the play cards, go to movies, smoke, dance, drink, and engage in other activities, some unmentionable. So the best thing to do is to be tolerant of them, since they may not know better, but to keep away from any close communication with them and to live your life within the family. ‘Come ye out from among them and be ye separate’ is a good Biblical text to follow.” To the best of my recollection this unconsciously arrogant separateness characterized my behaviour all through elementary school. I certainly had no close friends. There were a group of boys and girls my age who rode bicycles together on the street behind our house. However, I never went to their homes, nor did they come to mine. As to the relations with others in my family, I thoroughly enjoyed being with and playing with my younger brothers, was jealous of my next older brother, and greatly admired my oldest brother, although the age gap was too great for much communication. #RandolphHarris 2 of 19

I knew my parents loved me, but it would never have occurred to me to share with them any of my personal or private thought or feelings, because I knew these would have been judged and found wanting. My thoughts, my fantasies, and the few feelings I was aware of I kept to myself. I could sum up these boyhood years by saying that anything I would today regard as a close and communicative interpersonal relationship with another was completely lacking during that period. My attitude toward others outside my homes was characterized by the distance and the aloofness that I had taken over from my parents. I attended the same elementary school for seven years. From this point on, until I finished graduate work, I never attended any school for longer than two years, a fact that undoubtedly had its effect on me. Beginning with high school, I believe my hunger for companionship came a little more into my awareness. However, any satisfaction of that hunger was blocked first by the already mentioned attitudes of my parents, and second by circumstances. I attended three different high schools, none for more than two years, commuting long distances by train to each one, so that I never was able to put down any social roots and was never able to participate in any after-school or evening activities with others students. #RandolphHarris 3 of 19

I respected and liked some of my fellow students, and some of them respected and probably liked me—perhaps partly because of my good grades—but there was never time enough to develop a friendship, and certainly I never had any close personal interaction with any of the. I had one date during high school—to attend a senior class dinner. So, during the important years of adolescence I had no close friends and only superficial personal contact. I did express some feelings in my English themes during the two terms when I had reasonably understanding teachers. At home I felt increasingly close to my next younger brother, but an age difference of five years cut down on any deep sharing. I was now more consciously a complete outsider, an onlooker in anything involving personal relationships. I believe my intense scientific interest in collecting and rearing the great night-flying moths was without doubt a partial compensation for the lack of intimate sharing. I realized by now that I was peculiar a longer, with very little place or opportunity for a place in the World of persons. I was socially incompetent in any but superficial contacts. My fantasies during this period were definitely bizarre, and probably would be classed as grand. College represented the first break in this solitary experience. #RandolphHarris 4 of 19

I entered the college of agriculture at the University of Wisconsin, and almost immediately joined a group of fellows who met in a YMCA class. Starting with this narrow interest, we developed into an ongoing, self-directed group carrying on all sorts of activities. Here I first discovered what it meant to have comrades and even friends. There was lively, enjoyable, and interesting discussion of attitudes and ideas about moral and ethical issues. There was even some sharing of personal problems, especially on a one-to-one basis. For two years this group meant a great deal to me, until I shifted to majoring in history in the College of Letters and Science and gradually lost contact with them. During this period, I suppose I could say that I began my first groupings toward a professional life. I was the leader of a boys’ club, and enjoyed the experience. My concept of what to do was limited completely to activities in which we could engage—hikes, picnics, swimming, and the like. I do not recall that I ever encouraged, or that we had, any discussion on any matters of interest to the boys. The possibility of communication was evidently beginning to dawn on me so far as my peers were concerned, but I doubt if I ever dreamed of it as a possibility for these twelve-year-olds. #RandolphHarris 5 of 19

I was also a camp counselor in a camp for underprivileged youngsters during the Summer, with eight counselors and one hundred boys under my supervision. The cherry-picking work in which we engaged part-time and the athletic activities afterward constituted my idea of a suitable program. Here I have my first memory of a most dubious attempt at a helping relationship. Some articles and money had disappeared in our dormitory. The evidence pointed to one boy. So I and several of the counselors took him off by himself to get a confession from him. The term “brainwashing” had not been considered, but we had a real expertise at it. We cajoled, we argued, we persuaded, we were friendly, we were critical—some ever prayed for him—but he withstood all our attempts, much to our disappointment. As I look back on this embarrassing scene, I gather that my concept of helping another person was to get hit to confess his evil ways so that he might be instructed in the proper way to go. In other directions, however, I was becoming more of a social being. I began dating young women, fearfully to be sure, but a start. I found I could express myself more freely with mature young ladies, and as a freshman I dated several seniors. #RandolphHarris 6 of 19

I also began going with Sarah, the young lady who late became my wife, and here an increasingly deep communication of hopes, ideals, and aims gradually began to take place. After two years of college we were separated by distance, but the courtship and frequent contacts continued for two more years before we were married. As I look back, I realize this was the first truly caring, close, sharing relationship I had ever formed with anyone. It meant the World to me. During the first two years of marriage we learned a vitally important lesson. We learned, through some chance help, that the elements in the relationship that seemed impossible to share—the secretly disturbing, dissatisfying elements—are the most rewarding to share. This was a hard, risky, frightening thing to learn, and we have relearned it many, many times since. It was a rich and developing experience for each of us. Meanwhile, in graduate school at Union Theological Seminary in New York, we were sharing in several courses as well as pursuing our own separate directions—she becoming more of an artist until motherhood occupied much of her time, while I continued my studies. #RandolphHarris 7 of 19

Although I became more and more turned off by the academic courses in religion, there were two experiences that helped to shape my way of relating to others. The first was a self-organized, self-directed seminar of students wit no faculty leader. Here we shared responsibility for the topics we considered and the way we wanted to conduct the course. More important, we began to share our doubts, our personal problems with our work. We became a mutually trusting group, discussing deep issues, and arriving at understandings which change the lives of a number of us. The second experience was a course on “Working with Young People” conducted by Dr. Goodwin Watson, who, before his death, was a prominent and active National Training Laboratories (an organization of group leaders that is especially active in business groups) trainer and progressive leader in education. While taking this course, I had my first clear realization that working closely with individuals might be a profession. This possibility offered me a way out of religious work, and as a result of these two experiences I shifted “across the street” (literally) to Teachers College, Columbia, where Goodwin Watson became my thesis supervisor, and I began taking work in clinical psychology. I was also exposed to the thinking of John Dewey, through William Heard Kilpatrick.  #RandolphHarris 8 of 19

I had by this time made tentative steps toward understanding relationships with others. My learnings were to be important to me later. I had learned that deep sharing with others was possible and enriching. I had learned that in a close relationship the elements that “cannot” be shared are those that are most important and rewarding to share. I had found that a group could be trusted to move in the direction of highly significant and relevant personal learnings. I was even beginning to learn that an individual faculty sponsor could trust the student one was supervising, with only growthful effects. I had discovered that persons in trouble could be helped, but that there were very divergent ideas as to how this could be done. We have seen how all the pretenses to which a neurotic resorts in order to bridge the gap between one’s real self and one’s idealized image serve in the end only to widen it. However, because the image is of such tremendous subjective value one must continue unremittingly to try to come to terms with it. The ways in which one goes about this are manifold. When I call this attempt externalization I am defining the tendency to experience internal processes as if they occurred outside oneself and, as a rule, to hold these external factors responsible for one’s difficulties. #RandolphHarris 9 of 19

In has in common with idealization the purpose of getting away from the real self. However, while the process of retouching and recreating the actual personality remains, as it were, within the precincts of self, eternalization means abandoning the territory of self altogether. To put it simply, a person can take refuse from one’s basic conflict in one’s idealized image; but when discrepancies between the actual self and the idealized one reach a point where tensions become unbearable, one can no longer resort to anything withing oneself. The only thing left then is to run away from oneself entirely and see everything as if it lay outside. Some of the phenomena that occur here are covered by the term projection, meaning the objectifying of personal difficulties. As commonly applied, projection means the shifting of blame and responsibility to someone else for subjectively rejected trends or qualities, such as suspecting others of one’s own tendencies toward betrayal, ambition, domination, self-righteousness, meekness, and so one. In this sense the term is perfectly acceptable. Externalization, however, is a more comprehensive phenomenon; the shifting of responsibility is only part of it. Not only one’s faults are experienced in others but to a greater or less degree all feelings. #RandolphHarris 10 of 19

A person who tends to externalize may be profoundly disturbed by the oppression of small countries, while unaware of how much one one’s self feels oppressed. One may not feel one’s own despair but will emotionally experience it in others. What s particularly important in this connection, one is unaware of one’s own attitudes toward oneself; one will, for example, feel that someone else is angry with one when one actually is angry with oneself. Or one will be conscious of anger at others that in reality one directs at oneself. Further, one will be seen as the decree of fate, one’s successes will be laid to fortuitous circumstances, one’s high spirits to the weather, and so one. When a person feels that one’s life for good or ill is determined by others, it is only logical that one should be preoccupied with changing them, reforming them, pushing them, protecting oneself from their interference, or impressing them. In this way externalization makes for dependence upon others—a dependence, however, quite different from that created by a neurotic need for affection. It also makes for overdependence upon eternal circumstances. #RandolphHarris 11 of 19

Whether the person lives in the city or the suburbs, whether one keeps this or that diet, goes to be early or late, serves on this or that committee, assumes undue importance. One thus acquires the characteristics called extraversion. However, while it is called extraversion as a one-sided development of constitutionally given trends, I see it as the result of trying to remove unsolved conflicts by eternalization. Another inevitable product of externalization is a gnawing sense of emptiness and shallowness. Again this feeling is not properly allocated. Instead of feeling the emotional emptiness as such, the person experiences it as emptiness in one’s stomach and tries to do away with it by compulsive eating. Or one may fear that one’s lack of bodily weight could cause one to be tossed about like a feather-any storm, one feels, might carry one away. One may even say that one would be nothing but an empty shell if everything were analyzed. The more thoroughgoing the externalization, the more the neurotic becomes wraithlike and apt merely to drift. If you have some respect for people as they are, you can be more effective in helping them to become better than they are. #RandolphHarris 12 of 19

Lehi counsels and blesses his posterity—he dies and is buried—Nephi glories in the goodness of God—Nephi puts his trust in the Lord forever. About 588-570 Before Christ. “And now, I, Nephi, peak concerning the prophecies of which my father hath spoken, concerning Joseph, who was carried into Egypt. For behold, he truly prophesied concerning all his seed. And the prophecies which he wrote, there are not many greater. And he prophesied concerning us, and our future generations; and they are written upon the plates of brass. Wherefore, after my father had made an end of speaking concerning the prophecies of Joseph, he called the children of Laman, his sons, and his daughters, and said unto them: Behold, my sons and the daughters of my firstborn, I would that ye should give ear unto my words. For the Lord God hath said that: Inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall proposer in the land; and inasmuch as ye will not keep my commandments ye shall be cut off from my presence. However, behold, my sons and my daughters, I cannot go down to my grave save I should leave a blessing upon you; for behold, I know that if ye are brought up in the way ye should go ye will not depart from it. Wherefore, if ye are cursed, behold, I leave my blessing upon you, that the cursing may be taken from you and be answered upon the heads of your parents. #RandolphHarris 13 of 19

“Wherefore, because of my blessing the Lord God will not suffer that ye shall perish; wherefore, he will be merciful unto you and unto your seed forever. And it came to pass that after my father had made an end of speaking to the sons and daughters of Laman, he caused the sons and daughters of Lemuel to be brought before him. And he spake unto them, saying: Behold, my sons and my daughters, who are the sons and the daughters of my second son; behold I leave unto you the same blessing which I left unto the sons and daughters of Laman; wherefore, thou salt not utterly be destroyed; but in the end thy seed shall be blessed. And it came to pass that when my father had made an end of speaking unto them, behold, he spake unto the sons of Ishmael, yea, and even all his household. And after he had made an end of speaking unto them, he spake unto Sam, saying: Blessed art thou, and thy seed; for thou shalt inherit the land like unto thy brother Nephi. And thy seed shall be numbered with his seed; and thou shalt be even like unto thy brother, and thy seed like unto his seed; and thou shalt be blessed in thy days. And it came to pass after my father, Lehi, had spoken unto all his household, according to the feelings of his heart and the Spirit of the Lord which was in him, he waxed old. #RandolphHarris 14 of 19

“And it came to pass that he died, and was buried. And it came to pass that not many days after his death, Laman and Lemuel and the sons of Ishmael were angry with me because of the admonitions of the Lord. For I, Nephi, was constrained to speak unto them, according to his word; for I had spoken many things unto them, and also my father, before his death; many of which sayings are written upon mine other plates; for a more history part are written upon mine other plates. And upon these I write the things of my soul, and many of the scriptures which are engraven upon the plates of brass. For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and the profit of my children. Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard. Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted. #RandolphHarris 15 of 19

“My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep. He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh. He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me. Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time. And by day I have waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and Angels came down and ministered unto me. And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for humans; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them. O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of humans hath visited people in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions? And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy? #RandolphHarris 16 of 19

“Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul. Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions. Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation. O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin? May the gates of hades be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road! O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy. O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is one that putteth one’s trust in the arm of flesh. #RandolphHarris 17 of 19

“Yea, cursed is one that putteth one’s trust in humans or humankind flesh one’s arm. Yea, I know that God will give liberally to one that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen,” reports 2 Nephi 4.1-35. O God, The Author of All Good, I come to Thee for the grace anther day will require for its duties and events. I step out into a wicked World, I carry about with me an evil heart, I know that without Thee I can do nothing, that everything with which I shall be concerned,  however harmless in itself, may prove an occasion of sin or folly, unless I am kept by thy power. Hold Thou me up and I shall be safe. Preserve my understanding from subtility of error, my affections from love of idols, my character from stain of vice, my profession from every form of evil. May I engage in nothing in which I cannot implore Thy blessing, and in which I cannot invite Thy inspection. Prosper me in all lawful understakings, or prepare me for disappointments; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me, lest I be full and deny thee and say, Who is the Lord? or be poor, and steal, and take Thy name in vain. #RandolphHarris 18 of 19

May every creature be made good to me by prayer and Thy will; teach me how to use the World, and not abuse it, to improve my talents, to redeem my time, to walk in wisdom toward those without, and in kindness to those within, to do good to all people, and especially to my fellow Christians. And to Thee be glory. O Lord, holy Father, Almighty and everlasting God, hear us, and preserve this Thy servants to whim Thou hast redeemed by the price and the great gift of the Blood of Thy Son, Who liveth and reigneth. We implore the mercy of Thy Majesty, that it may please Thee to give to this Thy servants and pardon our sins, that we being delivered from all the bounds of the enemy may cleave to Thy commandments with our whole heart, and evermore love Thee alone with all one’s strength, and one day be counted worthy to attain to the sight of Thy blessedness; through Christ our Lord. O Holy Lord, Father Almighty, everlasting God, we entreat Thee in faith that our brothers and sisters, receiving the most holy Body and Blood of Thy Son our Lord Jesus Christ, may enjoy health both in body and soul; through the same our Lord. Lord Jesus Christ, our Saviour and Redeemer, hear us when we pray to Thee for our sick people, that Thy Holy Eucharist may avail for the preservation of their souls and body, and for their attainment of eternal life, Who livest and Lovest all. #RandolphHarris 19 of 19

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