It is God’s will that we be free men and women enabled to rise to our full potential both temporally and spiritually. People who excel in life tend to be emotionally intelligent.  The recipe for handling relationships smoothly is to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way. Indeed, the costs of poor emotional skills can be high. They range from problems in marriage and parenting to poor physical health. A lack of emotional intelligence (self-control, self-awareness, sensitivity to the feelings of others, persistence, and self-motivation) can ruin careers and sabotage achievement. Perhaps the greatest toll falls on children and teenagers. For them, poor emotional skills can contribute to depression, eating disorders, unexpected pregnancy, aggression, and violent crime. We should promote emotional competence as well as intellectual skills. The result would be greater self-control, altruism, and compassion—all basic capacities needed if our society is to thrive. What means does civilization employ in order to inhibit the aggressiveness which it opposes it, to make it harmless, to get rid of it, perhaps? We have already become acquainted with a few of these methods, but not yet with the one that appears to be most important. #RandolphHarris 1 of 11

What happens in an individual to render his or her desire for aggression innocuous? Civilization obtains mastery over the individual’s dangerous desire for aggression by weakening and disarming it and by setting up an agency within one to understand why they feel the way they feel. The tension people feel in jealousy may be that of much greater Worlds colliding than can be seen by looking only at our personal situations. Its pain comes, at least in part, from opening up to unexplored territory and letting go of old familiar truths in the face of unknown and threatening new possibilities. It is not unusual for a jealous person to feel so altruistic and reasonable about one’s own life, so clean of the vice of selfishness, that one finds the loved one self-serving. Many people experience jealousy because the soul wants complete openness and freedom. That leaves a sense of order and limit in the darkness of repression, where it stirs and becomes wild and unreasonable, and potentially violent. It also may be time for one to reevaluate one’s beliefs. People who feel rage and suspicious call for some kind of adjustment and reflection. To begin with, if we ask how a person comes to have a sense of guilt after unjustifiably hurting another person, we arrive at an answer which cannot be disputed: a person feels guilty (maybe even sinful) when he or she has done something bad. #RandolphHarris 2 of 11

When your jealousy, with or without your conscious consent, is setting limits on your life it is because your jealousy is drawing out a strange cast of characters—the moralist, the detective, the paranoid, the archconservative. People often feel jealous because they assume that something threatening and dangerous is near. They believe that they are hard on the trail of facts, but they behave as if they do not know any details. Then aggressiveness is introjected, internalized. It expresses itself as a need for punishment. Since a person’s own feelings would not have led one along this path, one must have had a motive for submitting to this extraneous influence. Such a motive is easily discovered in one’s helplessness and one’s dependence on other people, and it can best be designated as fear of loss of love. If one losses the love of another person upon whom one is dependent, one also ceases to be protected from a variety of dangers. Above all, the individual feels they are exposed to the danger that this stronger person will show his or her superiority in the form of punishment. At the beginning, therefore, what is bad is whatever causes one to be threatened with the loss of love. For fear of that loss, one must avoid it. #RandolphHarris 3 of 11

Feelings of violence can show how slit off one is from the power of one’s knowledge. Blinded by a cloud of innocence, people seem not to know their friend or oneself or the complexity of relationships in general. They plead for simple attention and care. When one does not get these things, one feels controlled and toyed with. Then, in place of a more genuine power, violent rage pours out of the individual. The paranoid element in one’s jealousy both keeps the possibility of deeper knowledge within reach, but also dissociates itself from will and intentionality. It makes little difference whether one has already done the bad things or only intends to do it. In either cause the danger only sets in if and when the individual discovers it. This state of mind is called a bad conscience; but actually it does not deserve this name, for at this stage the sense of guilt is clearly only a fear of loss of love, social anxiety. Consequently, such people habitually allow themselves to do any bad things which promises them enjoyment, so long as they are sure that the authority will not know anything about it or cannot blame them for it; they are afraid only of being found out. For instance, when people vandalize cars of someone they are jealous of, they usually do so when they know people are in deep sleeps so they will not be held accountable for their crimes. #RandolphHarris 4 of 11

The obsessive side of jealousy seems in part to be a function of its hiddenness, arising when it is not being revealed and given place. When jealous feelings and images penetrate the heart and mind, a kind of initiation takes place. Their souls become profoundly disturbed. Sometimes people also become jealous of other person, who they do not know, because some people might appear to have a lot of talent, or be an insanely inspired artist or seem to possess the power of a politician graced with the charisma that might make him or her a World leader. How can anyone compete with a person who has desire of cosmic proportions without always feeling threatened? They become fitful, outrageously infuriated, betrayed, and offended. If one did not become jealous, they feel that too many events would take place, too much life would be lived, too many connections would be made. Therefore, jealousy serves the soul by pressing for limits on an individual one does not have control over, but deeply desires to control or possess their absolute beauty and fulfilling absolute power. From the jealousy person’s point of view, not only is their possessiveness right, it is required that one be outraged. This serves to compensate for a sense of union that does not exist or is not terribly deep. #RandolphHarris 5 of 11

When a jealousy person’s feelings come upon them, they feel alien and do not know what to do with them. When some part of one longs for more experience, new people, and starting over, jealousy remembers attachment and feels the unending pain of separation and divorces. These types of people become tormented by jealousy. They sense tension between attachment to what is and the promise of a new passion. How does one care for the soul when it is presenting itself through jealousy? Can we perceive that the soul wants when it wrenches us with longing for what another person has? Jealousy can be consuming. It can crowd out every other thought and emotion with its pungency. It can make a person distracted, touched, aching for the life, position, and possession of others. My neighbors have happiness, money, success, children—why do I not? My friend has a great career, good looks, luck—what is wrong with me? There may be a good dose of self-pity in jealousy, but it is the longing that is so bitter. Jealousy eats away at the heart, soul, and mind. It has a corrosive power. In jealousy, desire and self-denial work together to create characteristic sense of frustration and obsessiveness. #RandolphHarris 6 of 11

The jealous person thinks he or she is the victim of bad fortune it also involves strong willfulness in the form of resistance to fate and character. When misfortune befalls an individual, one must search one’s soul, acknowledge sinfulness, heighten the demands of one’s conscience, impose abstinences on oneself and they often punish themselves with penances.  Whole people have behaved in this way and still do. Fate is regarded as a substitute for the parental agency. If any person’s unfortunate it, they sometimes take it to mean that they are no longer loved by their higher power; and threatened by such a loss of love, they become more conservative, and no longer neglect their religion. However, a person with a jealous nature fights fervently against the deal fate has handed them. They feel deprived and cheated. Because jealous people are so out of touch with the potential value of his or her own fate, one has elaborate fantasies about others being blessed with good fortune that belongs to them. The point of caring for the envious soul is not to get rid of the jealousy, but to be guided back by it into one’s own fate. The pain in jealousy is like pain in the body: it makes one stop and take notice of something that has gone wrong and needs attention. Jealous people simply fail to see the necessity and value in their own lives. #RandolphHarris 7 of 11

When things turn bad, there is a tendency to blame others or even God. Sometimes a sense of entitlement arises, and individuals or groups try to shift their responsibility to others. Some people allow their jealousy to allow them to have a preoccupation with the lives of others and then neglect their own. Their angry explanations for their misfortune distract them from the pain of their past and dealing with it productively. Symptoms are often obviously painful, but at the same time they may protect against a deeper pain associated with awareness and facing the fundamental realities of fate. It is through their jealousy that they suck all that pain into itself and in an odd way keeps them from owning their past. The problem is not the individual’s ability to have a good life, it is his or her capacity not to have one. Jealous people need to be taught to care for their soul. If in jealousy the person wishes life were better, then maybe it is a good idea to feel that emptiness deeply. People must take more responsibility for their situations, and over time eventually improve it. And it is important to be honest with oneself. In jealousy, fantasies are potent and utterly captivating, yet floating in an atmosphere somehow removed from actual life. These fantasies are illusions, images kept at bay so they cannot touch life directly. Dwelling in an imaginary life is a way of avoiding soul. #RandolphHarris 8 of 11

Jealousy is resistance to reason. If a jealous person is met with a misfortune or denial of a desire, they do not throw the blame on oneself, but on one’s fetish, which has obviously not done its duty, and one gives it a thrashing instead of punishing oneself. When one has a sense of guilt after having committed a misdeed, and because of it, the feeling should more properly be called remorse. It relates only to a deed that has been done, and, of course, it presupposes that a conscience—the readiness to feel guilty—was already in existence before the deed took place. Remorse of this sort can, therefore, never help one to discover the origin of conscience and of the sense of guilt in general. What happens in these everyday cases is usually this: an instinctual need acquires the strength to achieve satisfaction in spite of the conscience, which is, after all, limited in its strength; and with the natural weakening of the need owning to it having been satisfied, the former balance of power is restored. The task is to care for the soul, but it is also true that the soul cares for us. #RandolphHarris 9 of 11

We must do our best to honor whatever the soul presents to us. It suffering can only be relieved by the reestablishment of the will placed on us by the Heavenly Powers. And we may well heave a sigh of relief at the thought that it is nevertheless vouchsafed to a few to salvage without effort from the whirlpool of their own feelings the deepest truths, toward which the rest of us have to find our way through tormenting uncertainty and with restless groping. God wishes only good for everyone. We are all rooted in pure spirit, in perfect life, and at any moment we can so unify ourselves with the power of good that evil will disappear from our experience. We have to live each day as though all the joy there is in the Universe were ours now. And we have to live each day as though all the joy we ever expect to experience were ours now. If we make every day a day of praise and thanksgiving, a day in which we recognize the divine bounty and the eternal goodness, and if we live today as though God were the only presence and the only power there is, we would not have to worry about tomorrow. We are all human and have all made mistakes. The starting point for creating a better future for ourselves is to deliberately free our minds from the mistakes of the past and feel they no longer be held against us; they need no longer be a liability. #RandolphHarris 10 of 11

Suppose we have had a deep sense of animosity toward others and because of this we find that we are not meeting people in the right spirit; they, naturally, respond to us the way we meet them, and out whole set of human relations is out of harmony. We cannot go back over the past and relive it. We cannot make adjustments in the past. We have to make them in the present. It is not going to do us any good to sit around and cry over the past and bemoan our fate, because in the very day in which we are living we are creating our future, which will become monotonous repetitions of the past. The one who is suffering from one’s past mistakes of resentment and animosity merely turns quietly to oneself and prays: I have decided to change al this. I want to like people and I want them to like me. I want to get along happily with others. I forgive myself for everything that has happened up until now. I lose it and let it go. I not only forgive myself, I forgive everyone who I feel has held anything against me. I forgive and I am forgiven. Furthermore, the power of the Universe conspires to help us. We should feel that we live in an eternal presence of pure spirit whose whole purpose is good, whose whole desire is constructive, and whose whole feeling toward us is one of love and compassion. #RandolphHarris 11 of 11