Divine interposition in our behalf…that hand that destroys the Constitution rends our Union asunder forever. Law does not seem like law at all when one knows the makers of it. Part of healing is time traveling, going back psychologically and emotionally (and consciously!) to the central scenes of our original wounding, scenes where we became a divided nation in order to proceed with our lives. In this, we go back not just in narrative (or everyday) memory, but also in, and sometime only in, emotional memory. All I ever wanted was to be successful, I recall being in elementary school, and the teacher wanted to make sure we all knew how to spell successful. She believed if she impressed the word in our heads that it would make a difference in our lives.

Success means different things for different people. To many, being successful means having a great career, making a lot of money, driving a nice car, and owing a big house, and having a saving account and a private retirement. That is what I was taught success was as a child. However, success has many different meanings. Often times, being successful simply means the accomplishment of an aim or purpose, which will benefit you and those around you, without implicitly hurting others. And to others, success means the attainment of popularity or profit. Or you may want to obtain success by achieving desired goals or attaining prosperity. For some, there desired goal may be to overcome a lifelong health problem, it could mean overcoming a drug addiction, or having a baby, so success looks different depending on who you are, or what your circumstances are.

However, life is unpredictable and sometimes we have to deal with unexpected situations, which may inhibit our goals, and we may have no idea how we are going to get through a particular situation. So, the important thing is to keep your faith. Sometimes we may have to postpone an old ambition to build a novel of our lives, so to speak. And your journey should fascinate you. Never let your life become an apocalyptic kind of story. Just understand you may have to defer, not abandon, that project; you will go back to it someday, but to do the theme justice you must invest your time and energy in overcoming another situation, and you will not be ready to do that for some years yet. It is as if we have found a control panel in the dark, bringing in enough light and presence to do some rewire, not to get rid of our painful memories, which is impossible, but to lessen their hold on us so that they cease being our default locale when we are suffering in circumstances that mimic those in which we originally suffered.

Whatever you will ultimately achieve as a living being is only to be guessed by others, but to you, your target must be unmistakable. And never yield to temptations that you know are wrong, know that you are going to be a success, and nothing can stop you now. You might come upon quite a few inviting windmills, and it may be against your nature to leave these undisturbed, and I supposed there is a lesson to learn, and not all lessons are negative, some are beneficial. Some people come into your life to bring you out of your shell, to teach you communication, to express who you are and what you want, and they will make you emotionally stronger. To the point when something goes wrong, you look at it as a situation, and not the end of the World. You will learn to control your environment and look at other options. Past, present future, such are neatly sequential trio, or so it seems.  However, it is not just the study of quantum mechanics that deconstructs and calls in question the apparent orderliness of time, but also the developmental dynamics of our lives. Events and behavioral patterns from our early years can easily determine how we operate, often colonizing our present with our past; this may be obvious externally, but not so obvious internally.

If, for example, we constantly feel violated because there are things going on in our lives, and happening to the people we love, and it seems to be the same types of things happening over and over, the purpose is to teach you to deepen your love for others and let go of being angry. We are learning to fuel or direction. So our past is often very much present in us, manifesting in the form of behaviors that first arose in response to difficult circumstances, and still arise, almost as if we are frozen in time, or listen to a scratched record that keeps moving forward, then jumping back to that same thread over and over and over and over again, when similar difficulties occur. Such behaviors are mostly automatic, featuring very predictable reactions, regardless of their outer trappings. Our unresolved wounds may be out of sight, but the behaviors associated with them, usually are not. We may have reacted strongly a few times in the past, but after going through the same situations, you realize, okay, my negative reaction is not going to change this situation; I have to let go and let God.

I know I am doing the right thing, so how can I go wrong? It is my critics who are messing up, and at some point they will attract the attention they deserve, and if people you love are getting hurt in the process, and you do not have the power, nor ability to change the situation, all you can do is learn to love your enemy and wish them the best. This will take any liability off of you. Once current circumstances have pushed us past a certain energetic threshold, old, conditioned responses can easily kick in and overtake. Not that we have to be victims of this, but we can do a little to stop such conditioning from initially seizing us. However, if we see it for what it is, we can alter our course, even though the characteristic sensations of such a takeover my persist quite strongly (changing course in the middle of the storm does not necessarily cause our agitation to immediately disappear!).

And it is not just our past that may take charge of or invade us (with our permission), but also the past of others with whom we are associated, and our collective past. They may be someone in your life who loves you and created a storm, and he may feel he was helping, but by your reaction he now feels like he made a mess of your life. Think of how challenging fear can be, and then factor in the reality of collective fear, not as a distant something on someone else’s horizon, but as a living force pervading our living space, carrying the message that we are, in various ways, threatened or endangered, no matter how removed we may be dark stuff of life. When the law of the land is weak, it is right the law of nature should be strong. Thank you. I just have to give respect and know when my time is. Thank God. The Universe is required to hear this message, the Universe orders up what it requires when it requires it. We are over it, let us just keep going. I just know that this is a very special moment. The fact that I can do this is the win.

Lay with dogs and you get fleas. Microchimerism (MC) is the presence of a small number of cells that originate from another individual, and are therefore genetically distinct from the cells of the host individual. Women and men absorb and carry living DNA cells from every male they have ever had sexual intercourse with, they have assumed sperm into their bodily system, and the living cells and genetic material implant themselves into your muscles and skin. This phenomenon may be related to certain types of autoimmune diseases; because your body does not recognize the foreign material and attacks it. However, the mechanisms responsible for this relationship are unclear. “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you are hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside, but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.” Matt 23:27

Gaiety, rather than grog is my great unwinder, and when I am not working, I am always looking for an opportunity to make people laugh, not so much to amuse others, as to amuse myself. I can always make jokes against myself from the fund of stupid things I have done, and I laugh as loudly as anyone else does at my own jokes. I have always thought the rule that one should not laugh at his own jokes is both selfish and illogical; it is like telling the host he or she should not be drinking—it is only for the guest! The goal of life is to make it more conscious and caring and be more connected, it is profoundly beneficial—and impactful—a process that those who want to be fully alive should try. Too many men are slaves to a sexuality that is significantly detrimental to them and others, running away from what could emancipate them. Stop playing around and learn to love. Love is supposed to make one feel supernatural and worth more than gold and diamonds. Love is supposed to be passionate and refreshing. Love is supposed to embody pleasure, good sensations, and open intimacy.

Love works with all that you are, and involves your physical architecture, emotional being, mental health, and psychological energy—it is a spiritual dimension, all of what must be realized when you embark upon a journey of the heart. Love is rewarding and the results will show in every area of your life. When you are with a person your truly enjoy, you feel a depth and communion with both your lover and your deepest realm of being. It is a celebration of relaxation, trust, and peace, a natural state. There is innocence in such love, and you will gain access to an enormous wonder and amazement, which will thrust you into a deeper sense of self, a pleasurable colosseum that is extraordinarily healing, and when this happens, it will not completely take over your life. You will still be able to enjoy other pleasures, as this is something that very likely has already been occurring, something you have been working towards. I am inspired in my work from on high with lofty ideals, and my thought is illumined by the All-Knowing One. I am inspired. I am loved.

Real heroes show a zero tolerance for disrespect and abuse. The more shamed we are, the more important pride may become. Shame’s pressure often sucks much of the life out of us, as if we had taken a couple of heavy blows to the head, and were, for a while in a straitjacket. Today was an unusual day, I quit, I gave up, but did not say a word, I fell flat on my face, until I saw how much I meant to the person I cared about, so I dragged myself out of bed, and dedicated sometime to this person, even if it was just over the internet. Fortunately, such a dying was temporary, and the person I care about restarted the game by expressing concern and admiration, so this gave me another chance to make my way through the opposition I have been facing, leaving a bloody mess, in resurrection. You see boys and men cannot be put down or shamed for long, without suffering consequences because we usually carry far more darkness than our more human predecessors. It is hard to face ultraviolent, ruthless, human evil. However, what would Harry Potter be without Lord Voldemort? Myself like many others are actually anti-heroes, we are shadow infused, tortured rebels, with grand visions, morally complex revolutionaries, who are deeply flawed good doers. We can be messy. We are darkness unleashed with just enough life and care, not infallible, not always victorious, and far from being unemotional. Most men have trouble establishing intimate relationship, which are loving, cherishing, and being very close to one another, and not just sexually, in ways that deepen both the partners’ connection and their individuality.

 What I have learned about being a man is I can awaken deeply enough to embody my full-blooded maleness without any dissociation from what is tender, soft, and vulnerable.  It is very helpful to realize that the things you are required to do to have better relationships are the very things required to further your own growth and evolution. To work on yourself is, in part, to make yourself more available for the kind of relationship that you, in your heart of hearts, long for, a relationship in which whatever arises can be used to strengthen and deepen the partners’ bond. And I understand you may be looking at what I like on social media and what I share, but it is a safety net for me because you are never here. A relation will function optimally if some heart is brought to it and I feel like you did that today. A man who can truly father himself is no longer at the mercy of unhealthy fathering, whether from his own father, other men, or the authoritarian dictates of various elements of his culture. He is in good hands. His ground is solid and true. He is capable of deep relationship. Some men have issues connecting with other men, as friend. Most men like to keep a distance from other guys because they do not want to invest time into a connection that may unpleasantly expose them to each other. The ethic of men’s allegiance to keeping distance from each other is required to compassionately be laid bare, along with their fears of what might happen if that ethic were to be deconstructed, fears that rage from being rejected (as many have happened during boyhood when they showed vulnerability) to being seen as gay (as if being gay means having less than manly qualities). We all are required to challenge ourselves to experience full growth. In a relationship, you want to feel permission to go fully into both your core wounding and deepest dimensions, feeling at home no matter how shaken you might be. I want you to feel utterly natural to keep yourself open and free to venture into new territories. And be so comfortable that you are healed so deeply that it is impossible to dehumanize another person. Soon we will talk with mutual care and curiosity about what just happened, feeling closer to each other. Practice opening your heart when you least want to do so. Do not lose touch with your love. Make your connection to your partner a top priority. If you want one not to like pictures on social media and share things, then say so.

The compelling and fantastic figure embedded in men consciousness is a hero. The bravest of the brave, the ultimate performer, the one who sacrifices himself for the greater good, the one who preserves no matter how dangerous the challenge maybe, such are some of the many faces of the hero. Whatever shame and self-doubt a man might be carrying, the presence of the hero abides, as a trophy of quintessential manliness, anchored steadfast courage, helping him deepen his life. As a father, I was sad, and tired and ready to take my life, but I went to the Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament, in Sacramento, California. And a little bird with a camera came to me and wisped in my ear and the wind blew my tears away, no longer fueling any sense of self shaming, inadequacy, or apathy. The body is an amazing gift, it is my temple and when I sleep and dream, I feel I am able to separate my soul from mv body and be in two places at once. In my three dimensional dreamscape, regardless of how bizarre the scenery and context may be, I am able to reach my son and comfort him when he requires me to be there, and it makes me feel like the protagonist in a film. I find myself in an alien World, one that I created. Sometimes I realize that I am dreaming, but when I see my son’s face, it all feels so real to me, and I wish I could just grab him and take him home with me, and protect him from harm. Knowing that I am really in human form, this seems like a sleeping state, but I know I am getting closer to him. He is fascinated by me, blown away by the beauty.

At first, my son keeps himself removed from my hypervivid, pulsing beauty that surrounds him, sticking to his role as a good young man, a boy who does not question what he is telepathically being told to do by his superiors. He looks at the World as a place to be saved and preserved, a place of peace, where everyone is comfortable and happy. And my son believes this reality will happen and we will be reunited. However, I worry for hum, and I watch him I see that he has been attacked, and that sometimes his balance is off. I have watched him almost walk into a moving bus, and actually saw him walk into a 165-year-old tree. He has fallen getting into bed, and I wonder why? I am just happy I am there to catch him, even if he does not remember. I am happy to be there for my son, and fend of his attackers, even if he does not know. Before too long, our reality, deeply interconnected, will be one where he recognizes me, and to keep him from being spoiled, I keep him in a tower, with no love. I do not want anyone touching him! To step into a more connected manhood requires that he is able to sense me, even if he does not know I am near, I know the hero in him has begun to surface. However, in his face I see a deep loss, more than intellectual recognition of having lost touch with something essential. I think he lost his soul, I do not know what he is anymore, but I know that I love him. Maybe it was taken from him? The more my son lets go of his old way of being, the more he is rooted in my reality that resonates with my very core, my love for him reaches depths that you could not imagine. I am talking life affirming steps towards him, I want him to trust me and know that I will not leave him. I see that my son is stepping deeper and fuller into his manhood, starting to embody a strength that is not cut off from me, and his heart is softening towards me. My connection to him is arising. He hears me speaking to him telling him to let go of the pain he feels and know that I am here to save him. My son has a highly sensitized aliveness and balance and deep connection with me.