Many of us have felt our hearts sink, as if pressed by some crushing weight, after the loss of loved ones. Loneliness is not only pushing our culture to the breaking point, but it is also forcing our physical health to the breaking point, and indeed has in many cases already destroyed the human heart by causing people to grow cold. I finally realized that I have been distancing myself from love for a long time. The lack of emotional involvement is the very essence of marital swinging, or as it is sometime called co-marital sex.

 

It is possible that the very notion of marriage and the family will soon be outdated. Marriage by contract, renewable every three to five years, only upon the mutual consent of both partners, is seriously predicted by many lawyers. Also, divorce, infidelity, and marital swinging may have detrimental effects on the health.  In an endless variety of verbal and nonverbal dialogues with others, we have learned that human beings have different, and at times profound, effects on the cardiac systems of other human beings.

Human companionship could alter the heart; physicians were already well aware of its influence. Human interactions normally alter the heart in ways that range from barely detectable, transient reactions to changes that are profound—even deadly. Like the air we breathe, heart break is much like inhaling bleach—it can cause your hear to stop beating, but not like a heart attack, it simply hardens and shuts down, as you can barely grasp for air. The lack of love, the threatened loss of love, the fear of rejection, or indeed real loss of love can cause this.

Apparently, a peculiar type of intellectual schizophrenia exists between common sense and scientific attitudes when the human heart is considered. How could someone rip a loving couple apart? I became increasingly despairing about the hand life had dealt me, doubting that I would every experience genuine openness and trust—leaving deep emotional scars on my body that were caused by fear, betrayal, and mistrust. However, you spoke me and told me not to stop pursuing you because you were interested in making the relationship last.

We are learning to skillfully negotiate the pitfalls of love, to accept that we are required to maneuver our partners without appearing to push them. I am trying to coax you out of the uncommunicative social media cave. From my research, I have learned that it is a good idea to involve your family, friends, and the community, no matter which one of us has something we are having trouble or a good time with.

When your relationships are out and the open and established, they will last longer, and that is why I am talking to your people. I want them to accept me and see that I am also their friend, and not trying to take you away from them. I want them to be part of our life as a couple. That way you never lose touch with who you are and where you come from.

It really does take a village to help transform couple relationships and to guide those who are still searching for love. You are not alone. Like me, you have tried for a long time to ignore the voice of your heart, the small voice the makes you feel hungry, empty, and scared, telling you that you are missing out on something essential to your happiness. You pushed the disappointment so far in the back of your mind that you turned it into anger so you could move on, yet you kept wondering why the partner you are still hoping to find has not appeared yet.

Sometimes listening to your friends about love is a bad idea. You have to make love on your own so you do not feel shut down or unsatisfied in some deep place. Love, much like that park, is a landscape open for you—trust me on this. Not everyone can see it as you do. You are willing to try something new, and that is all you require—willingness, and a map of the castle you are about to explore. You will discover that you can leave loneliness, anger, fear, anxiety, pain, and hunger behind, and become a successful participant in a satisfying, monogamous, eternal, joyful relationship.

You are fully competent, intelligent, and capable of becoming more connected and emotionally open to my hears, without risking having your heart broken. I know this. This is my story, too. I promise you that you can survive the vulnerability of opening to love, you may feel skeptical about trying something new. However, there is nothing new for you to learn about finding and keeping the love and intimacy you want. Just be there for me and I will reciprocate the favor.

God, as a Heavenly Dictator—wants us to love each other, that is why we are in each other’s lives. There is some invisible force that is pulling us together and warming our bodies, taking us to higher thoughts and nobler deeds. May you discard all of your sigh and sadness into the furnace of life to cast golden hope. May your dream come true in the new year! Open the window of Winter quietly to send you a message. Are you well and I am missing. Live on, that is my wish for you.

There is a common belief in society that love is a word which has lost all meaning. Some people say that many throw the word around, like a football. However, since the great recession, you will notice that people have stopped using the word love so much, stopped searching for relationships, and are more concerned with money, sex, power, and status. Even suburban grandmothers have turned into trap queens. There is now an entire population of detached, independent, self-sufficient, noncommitted individuals who correspond to the description above. No one really needs to get hurt in modern human relationships. You can be intimate with someone and then leave, and nothing bad will happen. We had dinner at your place, you cooked the most delightful oven parmesan chicken with penne marinara. The basil really added a wonderful flavor to the cuisine, and it was nice and golden brown. I was really impressed with how well you can cook. And for dessert we have coffee with cream and a spiced pineapple carrot cake with homemade cream cheese frosting.

However, after meeting you, my opinions have changed—human relationships are the most important things in the World and so very hard to come by. As I sit here in this apartment, wait and waiting for you to return, I understand that relationships are desperately important to both our mental and our physical well-being. The fact is that social isolation, the lack of human companionship, dieting, stress, death or absence of a loving relationship, sudden loss of love (as we both have discovered), and chronic loneliness are significant contributors to premature death. Quite literally, we must either learn to live together or face the possibility of prematurely dying alone while burning a roast and a pizza and drinking dummy juice on Christmas. Cancer, tuberculosis, gastrointestinal infections, suicide, mental disease—all are significantly influenced by human companionship. Nature uses many weapons to shorten the lives of lonely people. To love and to live well is wished of many, but incident to few, but indifferent to all. To love without reason is an argument of lust, to live without love, a token of folly. The measure of love is to have no mean, the end to be everlasting.

 

Many people are looking for creative ways to make themselves more attractive to employers. I used to want to go into journalism, and so I started doing research and writing to get the attention of an employer. However, what I was producing, at one point was demanded, and not really what I wanted to do. Fortunately, a couple of news stations stepped in and stopped the exploitation. So then I started taking pictures and writing and I found that exciting. However, after this situation with Ryan Phillippe, I am so tired that I find myself almost falling over, and I wake up tired, but nothing is wrong with me.

My apartment is rather small and all I do is write and watch the news and go for the same walk everyday. Because of the rumors spread by the media and others, I am isolated and have no friends. When I do go out, people say really mean things to me and hit me and stuff like that, and I find it really taxing. I am tired of pretending to be thankful and in a happy relationship. I am happy, but just physically tired. I cannot imagine ten more days of this. I would really like to make a friend, who actually loves me, for who I am, and would like to spend time with me.

I am kind of over the hopes of writing to attract an employer because it seems like an exploitative situation.  My dream would be to have a large private house, with a yard, so I could relax and enjoy myself. This situation has been very stressful for me, and it is getting to the point where I have to make a change. I am literally so weak, I cannot even drive. I am so tired that after breakfast I have to lay down. However, what I will do is pray to God and try to find ways to occupy my time until investigators are finally done doing their job, and the people who participated in this conspiracy are punished and I get my reward.

Everyone is making money off of this game and laughing and having fun, but it is also negatively affecting so many people. It is causing others to have problems in their marriages because they pick up on the emotions and their partners cannot understand what they are going through. This game has almost caused a loving couple to divorce because he could not understand why his wife was so sad, and she felt like he was not the man she married. God bless us all. I cannot do this anymore.

The nature of people is always the same, it is their habits that separate them. Many people believe that others who have too much time on their hands usually used that time in a bad way. This is where the quote, “The Devil finds work for idle hands” comes from. Many people believe that work is good; non-work is bad. If you are doing something that can be considered productive, then you are worthwhile because you will continue to accomplish many useful things.

Too, work will continue to provide satisfaction to those people whose products are sources of pride and pleasure. And the skills we possess not only create new work—as invention gives rise to advanced technology—but new work may also create new skills that enhance the creative process, and these are good decisions that will affect our future in this Universe.

Also, people require some type of creative activity (whether it should be called work or not is debatable) to use up energy or restlessness. As you notice, people who are occupied, doing something they love, usually stay out of mischief because they do not have time to gossip or make life hard on others, as they are pursuing a worthy cause.

If you are not working, it is a great idea to join a book club, take up photography, and gardening to help your mind relax and focus on things they are interesting. No one wants to feel like they did not earn their living. People who feel ashamed of themselves are often lazy, slackers, goldbricks, parasites, leeches, and no-good bums! So keep in mind that work can be enjoyable because there is pleasure in turning out a well-made future.

The work-sin ethic does influence me. I see a lot of people, who do not work, and they are miserable. Constantly complaining about not having money, being bored, and talking about someone else’s business. However, I know that people who work, care about their jobs, and feel productive—no matter how much they make—are usually happier because they are focused on something they enjoy.

Whereas people who do not make use of their time are always worried about that someone else is doing or what new material possession that person has. In addition, people who do not work are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, which opens them up to getting into trouble. All I know is what I read in the papers.

Sometimes I have too much free time because I can only do so much in a day before I get tired. However, other times I feel like I am racing the clock and jumping hurdles because there is so much to do through the day. When I do not write, I usually have more time to just chill. For me, more than four hours of free time is too much.

The day is 24 hours long. If you sleep for 8 hours, that gives you 8 hours to work, 4 hours to travel and get things done around the house, and then 4 hours for leisure time, which is balanced. If someone gave me $10 million, so I did not have to work, I would buy a house that cost under $1 million, and modestly decorate it, then save the rest of the money so I could pay taxes, fees, and other expenses.

I have interviewed some people who are working in their dream career and the results are interesting. One young lady loves her jobs, but does not feel comfortable being the only woman who works because the guys are shifty and constantly talking about feces and buttocks. She told me that she believes her coworkers are mentally ill because that is absolutely not normal.

However, she loves being able to go to work in nice clothes and produce a product she is proud of. While others clown at work and look like idiots, she remains professional and prayer that her efforts will be noticed. She enjoys being able to inform others and bringing  them details that are fascinating or noteworthy. On a side note, I did want to point out that being a housewife or househusband is considered an occupation. So rest easy, and know that stay at home parents are respected.

A good job is one where you feel comfortable, know what you are doing, and work with people who respect you. Ideally, I would love to manage a corporation. I have a great chance at getting such a job because I have spent years training for it. However, to improve my skills, I am learning to work on my interpersonal communication and learning to deal with customers who are conflict-habitual.

Sometimes we cannot change people, and most businesses allow employees the right to refuse service to customers who are consistently disrespectful. And if the bad behavior does not stop, the customer can be banned from the business permanently. I do not feel a certain way about people who do not work. Everyone has a reason for why they do what they do, and it is really none of my business.

As for leisure time, I do like spending time alone, but after a while, one really desires companionship because it makes life just that much more enjoyable. You know, I want my spouse to ask me, why I took a certain photograph and be able to explain what I thought was significant and get some feedback.

Swimming is also fun because it exercises every muscle in the body, but will not hurt one’s back or feet, like running might. Reading books is always fun because it sheds light on other experiences and expands our vocabulary. Architecture is something I love, and am always looking to tour historic mansions or castles. Modern stuff is nice, too. Or touring an art gallery can be exciting, as it gives one a glimpse into the past, or might inspire a person to reach inside, and express their creativity.

Drugs and alcohol are not typically a part of my activities. I do not do drugs. I may drink, when at a social gathering. However, sometimes I find that I drink when I am alone because I am stressed out and have no one to talk to. An alternative is to go for a walk, in the park, but I really do not like doing the same thing too much because then people start to take notice, and it can attract unwanted attention.

I think that just randomly saying rude things to people is deviant. When people talk about another person and use that person’s name, but are really talking about me is baffling. And people who are nice one moment, but then are mean, that is truly uncomfortable to be around. Everyone has emotions, but some people just like to make others think they are cool, when they are just waiting for a moment to hurt your feelings.

When I meet people who are tactful, responsible, and can say what they mean, I find these types of individuals to be adult. As an adult, our time is very valuable, and I want to spend it in productive ways. It is nice to know that the people, in my circle, are real with me because then I can be comfortable around them, and express myself. It is always nice to be able to trust your friends, coworkers, and family. One of the most important thing in the World is having trustworthy people my life.

I want to be able to sit my car keys down around you, and know that they are safe. It would be nice to allow you to roam through my computer, or sit in my apartment, when I am home or not, and know that everything will be okay, and you will treat it like your grandparents own it. A house and car are to huge investments, but can also be liabilities in the wrong hand, so it is also best to have people, who mean well, and love us in our lives. Also, when we do good to others, even if we do not expect it in return, good will come back to us. Reciprocity is surely a skill that will take one far in life.

Sometimes I do not feel like writing, but then I remind myself that I am trying to attract the attention of an employer, who loves my skills so much, they will allow me to make my own schedule. I feel like if I do not write, I am wasting my time and those hours could have been used trying to achieve something, instead of sitting around waiting.

The work-sin ethic clearly states if you do not use your time well, you will open yourself up to trouble. Often times, as stated before, I feel uncomfortable taking the same walk at the same park. The park is is very nice, but I do not want people to think I am a loner, or patrolling the park. I am just there to get exercise; it is a safe area. When living down town, one runs the risk of getting hit by cars because there is so much traffic, and the park is my best bet to make sure I stay fit, alive, and in shape.

The castle at the park is also a beauty to look at, I have been seeing it for years and get more impressed every time.  It reminds me of a mother, welcoming, bright, and safe. The grounds at the park are also very nice, there are trees that are nearly 200 years old, and they are so impressive.

There are also a lot of pretty flowers and statues. I just feel blessed to live in such a wonderful environment. It is so beautiful. Sometimes I do not like watching the news. The information is not the issue. The way some of the anchors deliver the news is such a turn off, so I turn it off. However, I feel like I may miss important information and be caught off guard.

Also, sometimes I wish the darkness lasted longer, it seems like the daylight is so bright and it gives me a headache in the morning because I sleep with the curtains open at night. This might make you feel uneasy, but I live in a high rise building, and I do not feel safe here, so I keep my curtains open, in the event someone breaks in, that way perhaps, one of my neighbors might see what is going on, and be able to help.

Another thing I do that I do not like is I talk to people, just to be polite, and frequently they tell me things I do not want to hear, and I kick myself in the rear for even opening up, and saying hello. However, I do not want people to think I do not have a heart, so I guess it is helping to develop my interpersonal skills, by learning to listen to others. One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.

Adam was mistaken about her. Like many other men, he thought the signs of love for another were signs of love towards himself. If I loved, I should love at once and without change. Fear breedeth wit; anger is the cradle of courage; joy openeth and enableth the heart; sorrow, as it closeth, so it draweth it inward to look the correcting of itself; and all of them have power towards some good by the direction of reason. The consequences of a little mind and small understanding are jealousy and suspicion.

What would we think of a general who should mount the rostrum in the presence of the enemy and explain the order of his battle? The less speaking, the better for the cause. In high school one of my friends told me, “Not everyone is going to like you just because that is how people are.”

I thought about it and accepted that. However, I cannot understand people who talk to others they do not like just to put them down. If you do not care for a person, leave them alone. Chances are they can tell you are fake and just being nice out of the kindness of their hearts. Let us all think well before anything is added that may make what is already bad still more bitter.

Nothing is more painful to the human mind than, after the feelings have been worked up by a quick succession of events, the dead calmness of inaction and certainty which follows and deprives the heart of both hope and fear. Society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one’s glass as to turn it bottom upward with the rim on one’s nose. We have been so blinded by thinking and feeling that we have never seen the World. Assume airs of consequence, and you will be treated as a man or woman of consequence.

Extremes bring ruin to the best Christian societies. I think it is absolutely sad when insidious minds gather together to plot the down fall of one person. Multitudes of people spend their time and resources attacking one individual and setting that person up, and pretend not to hear of the consequences that they have caused the person to suffer. Yet, they are still in his face talking and smiling like nothing has happened. Ugly children must be minded as well as pretty ones.

A charm must be accompanied by a strong wish on the part of the charmer that it may succeed. Children cry, but do not die, for their lumps of sugar. When they grow older, they simply have a stronger appreciation of the sugar, and make a greater noise to obtain it. The only art of living is to confine our wishes within the limits of our circumstances.

Some people are willing to kill their own father’s and brother’s just to pad their bank accounts. However, one who kills a man has all that person’s sins to answer for as well for their own, because you gave them not the time to repent of their errors that Heaven designed to allow that individual.

There is a wave of individuals sweeping the nation, who truly believe they are superior beings and that it is their job to balance the Universe and make up for the wrongs committed against them, by attacking innocent people who have done nothing to them.

However, they do not realize their mind programs are polluted and corrupt. That is not the way of one who loves God. God teaches us to love, share, and forgive. In no case, perhaps, is the decision of human being impartial, or totally uninfluenced by sinister and selfish motives. The best way to balance life is to treat others how you would like to be respected.

There is a perverse mood of the mind which is rather soothed than irritated by misconstruction; and in quarters where we can never be rightly known, we take pleasure in being consummately ignored. What honest person, on being casually taken for a house-breaker, does not feel rather tickled than vexed at the mistake? Everything has at least two sides—the outside that is ridiculous, and the inside that is solemn.

There is such a thing as making a white squall, in consequences of your head being too high to see it.  Your little rumors, innuendos, and witty jokes are not funny. We all hear them and they must stop, it is rather immature and slanderous. Grow up, some of you are like a harlot, in Vegas, with one pair of stilettos. You have been walking the streets so long, your heels, much like your jokes are flat and worn out.

I know if I had a new baby, a new house, or a new car, I really would spend my time focusing on how beautiful life is. Even without those things, you can find beauty in nature and loving relationships. However, chances are you cannot afford all of those amenities and are willing to kill your own family member and collect on the insurance policy to fund your lifestyle. Instead of trying to be rich, get a job and earn a living. You people look like clowns. I would not want to pull the plug on someone if I was not even authorized.

 

Placing a confidence is the surest way of attaching a young mind. Youth smiles without any reason. It is one of its chiefest charms. If Tom’s friends have confessed his temper to have been a little too easily ruffled, his enemies must at the same time have confessed that it as soon subsided; nor did it at all resemble the white squall, whose swelling is bright and more violent and dangerous after the…is over than while the storm subsists.

Well said the ancients that anger is a short madness. When we reflect in cold blood on the things we have said in hot, how impossible they seem! How out of character with our real selves! And this is one of the recognized symptoms of mania. When some folks find their anger has made them considerable, they will always be angry or seeking occasions for anger. I do not care for the great questions. I care for pleasure—for amusement.

However, in your anger do not sin. Do not let the Sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the Devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. Please, do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their requirements, that it may benefit those who listen.

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all the bitterness, rage, anger, and brawling and slander, along with every form of snarkiness and malice. There are answers which, in turning away wrath, only send it to the other room. Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love. Therefore, everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry because human anger (you are not baby Gods) does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

You never felt jealousy, did you? Of course not: I need not ask you; because you never felt love. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me. The World grows more Worldly every day. Those who are not of this World can do little else to arrest the errors of the obstinately Worldly.

Do not play with her, do not be dishonest. I am still not understanding this logic. I want to give you better. Baby it is whatever. Someone has to step up. Girl, I’m that somebody, so I am next up. Be damned if I let him catch up because it is easy to see that you are fed up. I am on a whole ‘nother level. Girl, he only messed you up because you let him. Forget him, I guess he did not know any better? Girl, that man did not show any effort.

I do all that I can to show you, you are special, and I am certain that it is your love that holds me together. Lately you say he has been killing the vibe and you have to be sick of this guy. You deserve what you have been missing. Looking at you, I am thinking he must be trippin’. Girl said he keeps on playing games and his loving is not the same. I do not know what to say, what a shame. I do not have time for no side chick, I am trying to make time for you. You are the real deal.

If you were mine you would not get more of the same. If you were mine you would exalt everything.  Suicide in the drop, switching lanes, and that thang so fire baby no propane. But he is the only reason that I am feeling this way, giving you the World, baby! Blood on the floor dripping my Christians. That is Louis Vuitton if you do not get it. Sacred shoes that is why they are so expensive, legend has it they have walked in the blood of Christ.

The Heavenly light surrounding Christ contrasts dramatically with the darkness of the rest of the environment. Christ, in fact, is offering nourishment for their minds, bodies, and souls—symbolically offering them His body as nourishment. This purely spiritual act contrasts with the gluttonous Worldly activity going on in the building, where a dog knaws as a fleshy supple bone and a cat kicks on a door, sealed the blood of the lamb, in search of leftovers. Rari here symbolizes the spiritual World, and darkness our Earthly home. We all feel better in the dark.

Tell me of your dreams for us, remind me of the promises you have made, and take action. You may enjoy reviewing the past, but I do not see why it is any longer necessary? Why keep me here is pain, dredging up bad memories? All really delightful things are sudden. There is nothing the body suffers that the heart may not profit by.

 

 

A lover’s hope resembles the bean in the nursery tale—let it once take root, and it will grow so rapidly, that in the course of a few hours the giant Imagination builds a castle on the top and by and by comes Disappointment with “curtal axe,” and hews down both the plant and the superstructure. The falsehood of a common assertion, that the greatest human happiness consists in hope.

Sin is an alien element in our blood. Tis the Apple-Disease with which Nature has striven since Adam. To treat Youth as naturally sinful, is, therefore, false, and bad; as it is bad; as it is bad, false, to esteem it radically pure. We must consider that we have forfeited Paradise, but were yet grown there. The triumph of man’s intellect, the proof of his power, is to make the serpent, who inhabits us fight against himself, till he is destroyed.

Gold and love, what are they? The great gods that rule us! Gold, God of the body with its lusts and its clay; Love, God of the heart with its fire and its passions. Young men of open, generous dispositions are naturally inclined to gallantry, which, if they have good understandings, exerts itself in an obliging complacent behavior to all women in general.

Good fortune opens the hand as well as the heart wonderfully; and to give somewhat when we have largely received, is but to afford a vent to the unusual ebullition of the sensations. When you and your brother are friendly, his doings are indifferent to you. When you have quarreled, all his outgoings and incomings you know, as if you were his spy.

Years are the teachers of the great rocky natures, whom they round and sap and pierce in caverns, having them on all sides, and striking deep inward at moments. There is no resisting the years, if we have a heart and a common understanding. The experience of the World, being learned, cannot easily be forgotten.

College discipline should imitate the World in this respect: it should develop every man’s peculiar genius. Neglect of this is the true reason why so many people distinguish themselves in the World, who were considered lame in college, and why so many who were considered amazingly clever in college, are found to be little better than a mule in the World.

I have heard some talk about duty first and last; but it has always been of my duty to other people. I have wondered now and then whether no one ever owed any duty to me. Wine is a dangerous thing, and should not be made the exponent of truth, let the truth be good as it may; but it has the merit of forcing a man to show his true colors. A man who is a gentleman in his cups may be trusted to be a gentleman at all times.

This discourse [against drinking] caused quite an uproar. The hearers formed knots; the men were indignant; so the women flattered them, and took their part openly against the preacher. A married man had a right to drop; he required it, working for all the family. And for their part they did not care to change their men for milksops.

The double faces! That very evening, a band of men caught near a hundred of them round Brother Phillippe, filling his wallet with the best, and offering him the very roses off their heads, and kissing his frock, and blessing him for taking in hand to mend their sots.

They demanded facts from him, as if facts could explain anything. An eye is like a cannon in this respect: It is not so much the eye or the canon, in themselves, as it is the carriage of the eye—and the carriage of the cannon, by which both the one and the other are enabled to do so much execution.

Gazing into the depths your blue eyes, when you were in a contemplative mood, they seemed most placid, yet unfathomable; but when illuminated by some lively emotion, they beamed upon a beholder like stars. Should the eye be disgusted when the heart is to be engaged?

If I loved, I should love at once and without change. Avoidance-avoidance conflict is psychological conflict that results when a choice must be made between two undesirable alternatives. Well, in 2006, we went to China. When it was finally times to come home, I did not want to return. I wanted to stay in China and make a living for myself. I traveled to several cities, but Shanghai was one of my favor. You could find barber shops open at 3am in the morning, it was fast pace, and the people were friendly.

However, I had run out of money and we were a few hours away from boarding out plane. I was going to ditch the group and stay. I called home and asked my parents to send me more money, but they told me to come home. So I had to leave behind a fast pace life and come back to America. This was avoidance-avoidance conflict because I could not stay in China without money and did not want to return to America. However, coming back to America was the most reasonable thing to do.

Approach-avoidance conflict occurs when an individual is faced with a decision to pursue or avoid something that has advantages and disadvantages. This form of conflict involves only one goal. The advantages of the goal make the person want to approach the goal and the disadvantages make one want to avoid the goal. Well, I am trying to open my own business and my equipment was starting to wear out when an investor gave me a loan.

The loan was attractive because I would replace my computer, and buy new materials. However, loans some with interest and my business may never turn a profit so taking on debt does not guarantee that my business will ever turn a profit, and then I have to pay all the money back regardless of what happens. This means I am taking a risk, and it may not pay off financially. So I could have just quit, but decided it would be better to accept the loan and take a chance.

Approach-approach conflict is when an individual is faces with the necessity of making a choice between two (or more) desirable goals. Since both goals are desirable, this is the least stressful situation out of the three patterns of conflict. Well, I have changed my lifestyle and have been eating healthier green vegetables and getting more exercise. So to treat myself, for dessert I wanted to get something sweet. My options were either a doughnut or slice of New York cheese cake. Both are really nice options, but cheese cake is a little richer and filling, so I selected the cheese cake, over the doughnut, as a reward.

Anxiety is a normal human emotion that everyone experiences at times. Many people feel anxious, or nervous, when faced with a problem at work, before enrolling in college, or when making an important decision. Well, I am a freelance journalist, and there was a protest going on at City Hall, involving people who have no place to live. I wanted to document the situation, but as a rule, I do not take pictures of people who live on the streets.

So I found one of their camps and took pictures of their supplies, but not them, out of respect. Then I walked around and counted about 40 people living on the streets, within a five-mile radius of City Hall. People often say, “Seeing is believing” and “If you do not have a picture, it did not happen.” So I took the risk of my audience not believing me, but I thought it was more important to respect the privacy of others. If my audience wants more proof, then they can go look for themselves. Nonetheless, not all photographs can be trusted, some are intentionally altered, as a way of misrepresenting a situation or to manipulate the audience.

Cross cultural norms are standards that we all live by. They are the shared expectations and rules that guide behavior of people within social groups. Cultural norms are learned and reinforced from parents, friends, teachers, and others, while growing up in a society. Well, in my culture, we believe in being peaceful, responsible, and must display respect for our elders. Today I was at the Capitol Castle, and three ladies were walking towards me, there was not enough room on the sidewalk for us all to pass comfortable, so I had to walk off the sidewalk, and into a puddle so I did not disturb the ladies who were passing by.

Decidophobia is the fear of making decision due to the ramifications. Sufferers may fear the most about making a wrong decision. Decidophobes are bothered about their life full of choices and would prefer others made decisions for them or coached them in the decision making process. My dad and I were looking at houses, and he could not make up his mind about what city he wanted to purchase a house it, as he was not sure I would accept his choice.

However, I told him that I would be happy to buy a house with him, no matter where it was located. He smiled and promised that I would be happy with his choice. So sometimes people who have a hard time making decisions are required to know that someone will have faith in them and accept the choices they make, which builds confidence and will help them make future decisions without so much hesitation or requirement for approval.

Direct action the use of strikes, demonstrations, or other public forms of protest rather than negotiation to achieve one’s demands. Well, I saw one of my neighbor’s, it was about 11.45pm at night, and she was just standing on the street corner. I do not like to talk to people I do not like and knew that if I passed by her, she would want to talk. So to protest their encounter, I simply crossed the street, and she turned around and walked the other way. My demands were met because I did not have to have a fake interaction with this lady.

Rationalization is a process in which people superficially find reason to justice their acts, opinions, and behavior.  The process might seem reasonable and valid, but that may not be true. When people rationalize, they are often unconscious and often less creditable. Sometimes I get bored with my routine and today I walked off my normal path, although I am not supposed to.

I justified this decision because I had to leave New York last night and rush back to Sacramento for a morning meeting. So the rationalization is that I missed out on something, so then I can deviate off my path a little, even though I am not supposed to. I felt like my decision would be forgiven because I gave up something that I wanted, in order to attend the meeting, but rationalization often causes us to make bad decisions and can lead to denial.

Repression may refer to memory inhibition, the ability to filter irrelevant memories from attempts to recall. Sometimes I like to surprise myself by hiding money in my coats. So every once in  while, I will place some money in the pocket of a coat and hang it back up. Then I will try to forget that I stashed money so the next time I wear the coat, it will be like an added bonus and a great surprise.

Statistical norm is when a person’s thinking or behavior is classified as typical, expected, or acceptable behavior in a particular social group. This behavior should be comprehensible to others and make them feel comfortable. Well, today we had a meeting, and I have a few comments and questions, so instead of just interrupting discussion, or speaking over others, I simply raised my hand until I could address the topic that was being discussed. In our culture, it is considered polite to be as professional as possible.

 

 

A phobia is an overwhelming and unreasonable fear of an object or situation that poses little real danger but provokes anxiety and avoidance. Well, I dislike foul odors and feel totally disgusted by people who take their dogs for a walk and let them defecate on the sidewalk, and then pick up the hot boo boo with a thin plastic bad and carry it around. To me that is rude, disgusting, and a health hazard. So when I see someone letting their dog relieve itself, I will often go the other direction because I do not want to smell it nor be near it.

Mental health is very subjective. It is basically someone’s opinion about what is wrong with a person. Most people tend to be able to take care of themselves and live a normal life. However, sometimes in life we experience extreme hardships, like the loss of a loved one. If we do not acknowledge what happened, but talk to a medical professional about what is going on in our lives, grieving could be misdiagnosed as serious mental condition because when one losses a loved one, they experience a wide ray of emotions. So be sure to look at everything that is going on in your life to figure out why you might be in pain because if you talk to a psychologist, but withhold information, they may diagnose you with a mental disorder you do not have.

Here are three characteristics I have that I wish no one else knew about: I am sensitive, caring, but sometimes get upset by things I do not understand. I learned to feel embarrassed about being sensitive from my friends. It is well-known one has to learn to listen to others without being offended and understand that sometimes people are going to say things we do not agree with and that is part of life, do not take it personally, and ask questions for clarification. Sometimes I care so much about others that I allow them to manipulate me, but my parents taught me letting someone use me is unacceptable and that relationships are about reciprocation. Every once in a while, I will let someone get my attention, even when I know I should ignore them. To resolve this issue, my mother taught me to trust my instincts.

Sometimes I like to walk two laps around the park, at night, hours apart. And I walk every day, so I fear being noticed by others and labeled so I try to change up my path and times, so people do not notice me as much. Another thing I do that causes me to question myself is I put my trash in zip lock bags, then place them in the garbage can because I do not feel comfortable leaving food, uncovered, and sitting in a trash can without a lid. Another thing I do is I like to shop in the midnight hour because there are less people out. While some see this as unusual, I love it.

Well, years ago, I was faced with an approach-approach situation; I had the choice between getting a Lexus automobile or a BMW. I always wanted the BMW and so that is what I selected. Both cars are nice and well made, but I like BMW more. While I was walking to the store two night, two guys were blocking the sidewalk, so I walked in the street so not to get in-between them, which is an example of avoidance-avoidance conflict because neither options was the safe. And tonight, I had two premade meals, but neither one was appealing, so I skipped the main course.

 

Our meetings tend to be very loud and repetitive. Many people are always hollering and screaming, so today I dealt with the noise, but took direct action and  decided to record it and share it so other people can hear what we have to go through. Hopefully people will hear themselves and learn to be more respectful. When I have problems, I usually try to resolve them.

Some people have things going on in their lives that they can control, but they let the situations go on so long that they become a huge problem that they are not able to resolve on their own. I like to take direct action. Instead of taking direction action, I could instead pray about a situation and allow God to fix it.

I have been in a situation that was so bad that I wanted to give up, but instead, I increased by exercise, starting allowing myself to sleep later, and started eating better quality food.

A lot of people think it is normal to spy on others and trying to figure out what other people are doing and then make comments about it. I think this is crazy because these people try to act like they know one so well that they can guess what one is doing, and in many cases they are wrong about their assumptions. Another thing people do is they make floating comments, when no one is speaking to them, and then just walk away. I think it is crazy for people to walk around talking to themselves. Something else I think is crazy is people who dislike one, but spend time talking to people they do not like. If I do not like someone, I will usually be civil around them and spend as little time with them as possible.

There are different parts of my personality. There is my surface self, which I share with people I do not know well, and this aspect of my personality tends to be happy and professional. There is another side to my personality that likes to be close to someone and be loving and supportive of the person I am in a relationship with. There really is not conflict between these two parts because I do not treat associates the same way I would treat my spouse. So there really is not issues there. People, who I am not in a relationship with might so that I am cold, whereas someone I am in a relationship with perhaps will have a different opinion, so I guess there is a little conflict. However, love in all things a most wonderful teacher.

 

Many of us would read in the stars, if we could, something hidden from us; but none of us so much as know our letters in the stars yet—or seem likely to do it, in this state of existence—and few languages can be read until their alphabets.

1. Give an example from your own recent experience or observation of each of the following:
2. Avoidance-avoidance conflict
3. Approach-avoidance conflict
4. Approach-approach conflict
5. Anxiety
6. Cross-cultural norm
7. Cultural relativity
8. Conflict
9. Decidophobia
10. Rationalization
11. Repression
12. Statistical norm
13. Phobia

What is your reaction to the following statement?

Emotional illness is not an absolute matter. Mental health can be viewed as a continuum from fully-functioning individuals to those who are severely handicapped in their dealings with the World and other people. Most of us tend to fall somewhere in between these two extremes.

List three characteristics you have, which you would just as soon nobody else knew about.

Where did you learn to feel uncomfortable about these traits? (From parents, peers, religious  leaders, teachers, reading, etc.?)

List three things you have done or wanted to do that made you wonder whether you were completely “normal.”

Describe a situation in which you have been faced with an approach-approach conflict. Describe how you solved the conflict.

Describe a situation in which you were faced with an avoidance-avoidance conflict. Describe how you solved the conflict.

Describe an approach-avoidance conflict you have experienced and how you solved the conflict.

Can you remember any important conflict in which you were afraid to make any decision? If so, describe it.

Starting with your earliest memories, try to think of situation, etc. Then describe your way of coping with the situation. Indicate whether you took direct action or used a defense mechanism. (If the latter, identify it—repression, rationalization, projection, regression, withdrawal, etc.)

Review exercise C. Do you see any patterns in the ways in which you cope with frustrating situations?

What alternative courses of action could possibly have been more effective to eliminate the frustration?

Have you ever been in a situation that was so bad that you wanted to just shut yourself off from reality? What did you do?

List at least three things that your family or culture treats as “normal” that seems “crazy” to you. Explain your reason for considering them “crazy” instead of “normal.”

Have you ever felt as though there were a number of different parts to your personality or self? If so, describe them.

Is there any conflict between these parts?

Which one tends to win out?

Sings are small measurable things, but interpretations are illimitable, and in people of sweet, ardent nature, every sign is apt to conjure up wonder, hope, belief, vast as a sky, and colored by a diffused thimbleful of matter in the shape of knowledge.