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Prayer is the Most Normal and Useful Aspect of Life
Prayer is the most normal and useful thing; it is not simply a reflex action of your devotion to God. Take a moment and scan over the events of the last few years of your life. What kinds of things most easily come to mind? Many people find that they tend to remember happy, good events better than disappointments and irritations. A clinical psychologist would call this tendency repression, or motivated forgetting. Through repression, painful, threatening, or embarrassing memories are held out of consciousness. An example is provided by soldiers who have repressed some of the horrors they saw during combat. The forgetting of past failures, upsetting childhood events, the names of people you dislike, or appointments you do not want to keep may reveal repression. People prone to repression tend to be hyper-sensitive to emotional events. As a results, they use repression to protect themselves from threatening thoughts. I was led to examine exhaustively the phenomenon of temporary forgetfulness through the observation of certain peculiarities, which although not general, can nevertheless, be seen clearly in some cases. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 5
We were discussing the over-estimation of personality among lovers, and my friend thought it was Victor Hugo who said that love is the World because it makes an angel or a god out of a grocery clerk. Only when we are in love and have we blind faith in humanity; everything is perfect, everything is beautiful, and everything is so poetically unreal. Still, it is a wonderful experience; worth going through, notwithstanding the terrible disappointments that usually follow. It puts us on a level with the gods and incites us to all sorts of artistic activities. We become real poets; we not only memorize and quote poetry, but we often become Apollos ourselves. Judging by the conversation, it would seem that this poem is intimately associated with the idea of over-estimation of personality of one in love. I asked my friend, have you perhaps memorized this poem when you were in such a state? She became thoughtful for a while and soon recalled the following facts: Twelve years before, when she was eighteen years old, she fell in love. She met the young man while participating in an amateur theatrical performance. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 5
The young man was, at the time, studying for stage, and it was predicted that some day her would be a matinee idol. He was endowed with all the attributes needed for such a calling. He was well built, fascinating, impulsive, very cleaver, and…very fickle-minded. She was warned against him, but she paid no need, attributing it all to the envy of her counsellors. Everything went well for a few months, when she suddenly received word that her Apollo, for who she had memorized these lines, had eloped with and married a very wealthy young man. A few years later, she heard that he was living in a Western city where he was taking care of his father-in-law’s interest. The misquoted lines are now quite plain. The discussion about the over-estimation of personality among lovers unconsciously recalled to her a disagreeable experience, when she herself over-estimated the personality of the man she loved. She thought he was a god, but he turned out to be even worse than the average mortal. The episode could not come to the surface because it was determined by very disagreeable and painful thoughts, but the unconscious variation in the poem plainly showed her present mental state. The poetic expressions were not only changed to prosaic ones, but they clearly alluded to the whole episode. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 5
Another example of forgetting the orders of a poem well known to the person: A man wished to recite the familiar poem, “A Pine Tree Stands Alone.” In the line, he felt drowsy, he became hopelessly stuck at the words “with the white sheet.” This forgetting of such a well-known verse seemed to me rather peculiar, and I therefore asked him to reproduce what came to his mind when he thought of the words “with the white sheet.” He gave the following series of associations: The white sheet makes one think of a white sheet on a corpse—a linen sheet with which one covers a dead body—(pause)—now I think of a near friend—his brother died quite recently—he is supposed to have died of heart disease—he was also very corpulent—my friend is corpulent, too, and I thought that he might meet the same fate—probably he does not exercise enough—when I heard of this death, I suddenly became frightened: the same thing might happen to me, as my own family is predisposed to obesity—my grandfather died from heart disease—I, also, am somewhat too corpulent, and for that reason, I began an obesity cure a few days ago. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 5
For myself, there are circumstances when I do not want to help. There are some people with whom I do not care to work. I find marital therapy, for instance, generally to demanding. I prefer not to see both partners at the same time in the same place, even though I know that is the better strategy. My own personal history intensifies that kind of conflict for me unnecessarily. I am not prepared in myself to deal with the depths of the stress between partners in that way. There are periods when I do not care to respond. Sometimes I find myself so exhausted I am unable to mobilize more than a grouchy resentment and a rumbling irritation. Those are times when I become selectively inattentive to others’ pain. My own needs take priority. I must take time to get myself together. I have gotten out of touch with myself by giving away too much. I respond only so long and then I have to not respond. So be prepared, whenever others come, to ask yourself whether you really want to help. Have some sense of whether you are ready to risk opening yourself to the depths of others’ disturbances. We plead with you not to receive the grace of God in vain. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 5
Let Virtue be Dressed in Smiles
Vengeance, bloodlust, severe dehumanization, torture, acting with extreme prejudice is irresponsible. Nationally, 70 percent agree that when a boy is growing up, it is very important for him to have a few fist fights. Violent behavior among delinquent people does not appear overnight. Usually, their capacity for violence develops slowly, as they move from minor aggression to increasingly brutal acts. Eighteen percent of the population admit to having slapped or kicked another person. Overall, aggression increases dramatically in early adolescence as boys gain physical strength and more access to weapons. Social learning theory holds that we learn to be aggressive by observing belligerence in others. Social learning theory combines learning principles with cognitive processes, socialization, and modeling to explain behavior. According to this view, there is no instinctive human programming for fist-fighting, mass injury, knife wielding, gun loading, 95-mile-an-hor bean balls, or other violent or aggressive behaviors. Hence, aggression must be learned. Violence seems to beget violence, from generation to generation. Its very long history, dating back to our origins, has a momentum that shows little indication of slowing down. It is as if we were caught in an unresolved and seemingly unresolvable blood feuds. There may be talk of honor, but it is mostly just more fuel for the fires of violence and has nothing to do with real honor. #RandolphHarris 1 of 5
A single deed of violence and cruelty affects our nerves more than when these are exercised on a more extended scale. While school violence and drugs have been perceived by the public as problems primarily for urban school districts, declining test scores and poor academic performance are a nationwide concern. Children and adults are treated to an almost nonstop parade of aggressive models, in the media as well as in actual behavior. We are without a doubt, an aggressive culture. Every day, TV provides an endless stream of bad models, especially concerning violence. In the United States of America, there are nearly 200 hours of violent programs per week. Eight-one percent of all programs contain violence, which is often quite unrealistic. For instance, an astounding 73 percent of violent character go unpunished, and 58 percent of violent acts do not lead to painful results. Only 16 percent of all program shows any realistic long-term consequences for violence. So the problem many not be the violence in the TV programs, the problem might be people think violence is acceptable because so many people on TV go unpunished and do not see to get hurt. Younger children often do not grasp the nuances of TV plots. A child may simply remember that when good guys were bothered in some way by others, they aggressed. Heroes on TV are as violent as the villains, and they usually receive praise for their violence. #RandolphHarris 2 of 5
Disinhibition (the removal of inhibition) leads to acting out behavior that normally would be restrained. For instance, many TV programs and the news may give the message that violence is acceptable behavior that leads to success and popularity. For some people the message can lowers inhibitions against action out hostile feelings. In Sacramento, California USA, three news anchors actually went on air and encouraged people to engage in violence, but where not fired for their actions. Another effect of TV violence is that it tends to lower sensitivity to violent acts. As anyone who has seen a street fight or a mugging call tell you, TV violence is sanitized and unrealistic. The real thing is gross, ugly, and gut-wrenching. Social learning theory applies that aggression begets aggression. In other words, watching a prized fight or violent television program may increase aggression, rather than drain off aggressive urges. Viewers who watch violent DVDs, news, and videotapes have more aggressive thoughts. Violent thoughts often precede violent actions. Thus, the spiral of aggression might be broken if we did not so often portrait it, reward it, and glorify it. In many cases, the products can react to re-form the original reactants. Reactions in which the products can themselves react to re-form reactants are called reversible reactions. The World’s most peaceful societies actively teach their children to be cooperative, non-violent, and helpful. #RandolphHarris 3 of 5
The process of learning violence is reversible. Anger control can be successful in teaching some people to control the rage and aggressive impulses. Anger control refers to personal strategies for reducing or cubing anger. The key to remaining calm is to define upsetting situations as problems to be solved. Therefore, to limit anger, people are taught to: Define the problem as precisely as possible. Make a list of possible solutions. Rank the likely success of each solution. Choose a solution and try it. Assess how successful the solution was, and make adjustments if necessary. The reverse reaction can occur, but at first the rate is slow because of the small concentration of options. However, as time goes on, the rate of anger decreases because it helps lessen tendencies toward violence, and other destructive outbursts. For the more immediate future, it is clear that we need more people who are willing to engage in prosocial behavior (actions that are constructive, altruistic, or helpful to others). #RandolphHarris 4 of 5
Those who have never been guilty of any indiscretion are generally people who have very little active virtue. If you feel shame over hurting another, stay with that dishonor until a feeling of remorse arises, and then make amends from your heart. If you are reluctant to do so, admit this, letting any disgrace over such reluctance further spur you into taking healing action. Turning toward your shame, feeling it fully without losing yourself in its viewpoint and contractedness is one of the biggest and most courageous steps you will ever take. Yes, doing so hurts, but such pain is secondary to the healing that you are making possible through your bravery, the healing that begins when you cease being a victim or denier of your embarrassment. Disgrace can bend and halt us, and sometimes needs to—such as when we are mistreating or are about to mistreat another—but is does not have to break us. Remember that the more compassion and vulnerability you can approach your shame with, the greater odds are that you will handle it skillfully. Virtue, soon or late, meets the good it merits. #RandolphHarris 5 of 5
Imagination Governs the World
Your imagination prevails over your skills, and you tell rather what you wish that what you know. Step on a dog’s tail and you may get nipped. Frustrate a human and you may get insulted. The frustration aggression hypothesis states that frustration tends to lead to aggression. Road age and some freeway shootings may be a reaction to the frustration of traffic congestion. The fact that automobiles provide anonymity, or a loss of personal identity, may also encourage aggressive actions that would not otherwise occur. So far you have seen that the rate of a reaction can be changed by using a catalyst (traffic) that provides an alternative pathway with a different activation energy such as frustration. There are other factors that affect the rate of reaction without changing the activation energy. Does frustration always produce aggression? The rate of reaction can be increased by increasing the molar concentration of one or more of the reactants, or by increasing the temperature of the reactions. Although the connection is strong, a moment’s thought will show that frustration does not always lead to aggression. #RandolphHarris 1 of 5
Frustration, for instance, may lead to stereotyped responding or perhaps to learned helplessness. Also, aggression can occur in the absence of frustration. One simple and useful way to understand these effects is to realize that the activation energy for a reaction is provided principally by the molecular motion and collision of reactant molecules. In the course of reactants being converted into products, the reactants must collide so that the electron environment around the reactant atoms is changed to yield that of the products. Or more simply, old bonds (electron pairs) must begin to break before new ones forms. Frustration probably encourages aggression because it is uncomfortable. Various aversive stimuli, which produce pain, discomfort, or displeasure can heighten hostility and aggression. Examples include insults, high temperatures, pain, and even disgusting scenes or odors. Such stimuli probably raise overall arousal levels so that we become more sensitive to aggression cues (signals that are associated with aggression). In order for products to form, the collision between reactants must be sufficiently energetic so that the collision complex is supplied with an amount of energy at least equal to the activation energy. If this is so, the collision complex is known as an activated complex. #RandolphHarris 2 of 5
Aversive stimuli also tend to activate ideas, memories, and expressions associated with anger and aggression. The activated complex is a high-energy, unstable state because the kinetic energy of the colliding reactant has been incorporated into the internal potential energy of the complex. Once formed, this excited state can fall apart to reactants, or it can go on to the product state. Some cues for aggression are internal (angry thoughts, for instance). Many are external: Certain words, actions, and gestures made by others are strongly associated with aggressive responses. A raised middle finger, for instance, is an almost universal invitation to aggression in North America. Weapons serve as particularly strong cues for aggressive behavior. The implication of this weapons effect seems to be that the symbol and trappings of aggression encourage aggression. A prime example is the fact that murders are almost 3 times more likely to occur in houses where guns are kept. Nearly 80 percent of the victims in such houses are killed by a family member or acquaintance. Only 4 percent are murdered by strangers. #RandolphHarris 3 of 5
Some collisions are effective; that is, the complex has sufficient energy to surmount the catalyzed reaction barriers and go on to product. Personal discomfort caused by aversive (unpleasant) stimuli can make aggressive behavior more likely. There is a strong association between the temperatures at major league baseball games and the number of batters hit by a pitch during those games. When the temperature goes over 90 degrees Fahrenheit, watch out for a fastball. However, not all collisions between reactant molecules are effective. In a reaction mixture there may be many soft, low-energy collisions in which the collision complex does not have enough energy to overcome the activation barrier and simply falls back to reactants. These simple ideas about the energetics of molecular collision are sufficient to explain the effect of increased concentration and temperature on reaction rates. #RandolphHarris 4 of 5
An increase in concentration of reactants in reaction vessel means that moving reactant molecules are crowded more closely together. This leads to a greater collision frequency and therefore an increase in the probability of product formation. An analogy can be made to a game of billiards: the greater the number of billiard balls on the table, the greater the number of possible and probable collisions with a moving ball. Now let us consider the effect of temperature on reaction rate. An increase in the temperature of a reaction mixture results in an increase in the average kinetic energy of the molecules and thereby an increase in the average molecular speed. This implies that the molecules will collide more often and that each collision will be more energetic and thus have a greater chance of overcoming the activation barrier. Therefore, an increase in the temperature should yield an increase in the rate of production formation as more colliding reactant molecules reach the activated complex state. Mind and matter glide swift into the vortex of immensity. #RandolphHarris 5 of 5
What Would Dolly Do?
Having long ago learned to take life as it comes, and it is disheartening when one feels he has no choice, but to look at a man as his savior. My back hurt, I am always alone, and I have been doing this forever, and for me, waiting on justice is like waiting from Christmas, but not knowing what day it is. Every day I wake up, I wonder is today the day that someone will finally make the media pay for spending a decade torturing me and distorting and disseminating private information? Social isolation is one of the aspect of growing older dreaded most by young Americans. While living alone may be a symbol of independence, it is common for people to experience a feeling of greater social isolation. As you age, the deaths of neighbors, friends, and family members may seriously limit an individual’s social interactions. Some people fill these voids by joining clubs, attending church—but some become increasingly reclusive. I feel like I am living the life of a senior citizen, forced to stay in the house and walk around the park because I am constantly being harassed by these reporters, who pretend not to know what they are doing, but everyone else does. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 5
People who live alone often fear for their health, safety, and well-being. Partly because of fear of social isolation, they often migrate to Sunbelt states such as Arizona, Texas, and Florida to be with other people in the same situation, and where laws and governments tend to be favorable toward them. Elder abuse, which is the mistreatment of older persons, takes several forms. The most obvious and shocking is physical abuse, including pushing, shoving, rough handling, beating, physical assault, and rape. Psychological abuse, consisting of threats, verbal assaults, intimidation, and isolation, is not as violent and attracts far less attention, but can be equally devastating. The elderly also may suffer neglect, where they are deprived of adequate food, medication, or other goods and services, or financial exploitation, where they money is misused, stolen, mismanaged, or squandered. The extent of elder abuse is nearly impossible to determine because of imprecise definitions, inadequate systematic research, and the ability of abusers, much like these reporters have done, to disguise or cover up the abuse. Bruises, fractured bones, lacerations, and broken bones can be attributed to falls and accidents, or other discrediting factors. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 5
Whereas school official, social workers, and medical personnel, and others are legally required to report suspected child abuse, there is no such protection for other people in certain age ranges. Although I am not an elder, but because of the abuse I have had to suffer, there are things I cannot do anymore. And, I am young and do not want to be physically debilitated, and dependent on someone else for survival. It sucks when you are young and cannot make friends because the media exploits you and has told people to attack you and they have, so to protect yourself, you stick to a certain routine and keep praying for justice. Whereas prejudice are attitudes, discrimination refers to acts. Discrimination is unequal treatment of people because of their group membership. In everyday life, people sometimes discriminate in favor of a group. Discrimination may be personal, legal, or institutional. People discrimination includes attacks on minority group members (and remember, minority is a relative term, meaning anyone can be considered a minority depending on who is the majority group in your environment), from social slights and insults to murder. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 5
In legal discrimination, minority group members are denied lawful access to public institutions, jobs, housing, and social rewards. The third major and most subtle and pervasive kind of discrimination is institutional discrimination, unequal treatment of a group that is deeply embedded in social institutions. Typically, it includes many discriminatory practices and traditions that have such a long history they just “seem to make sense.” One of the most enduring includes attitudes and beliefs that blame some for their poverty, when they pay is being withheld, people are trying to force them to work for free, or you hear the dominant group saying, “I want to take everything away from them.” The term civil rights refers to the rights every individual is entitled to have while living in the United States of America. The Constitution of the United States of America gives citizens a measure of civil rights when it refers to the “privileges and immunities of the citizens of several states.” The Bill of Rights, enacted in 1792 as the first 10 amendments to the Constitution, first spelled out the civil rights of Americans. Since then, many laws have been passed to clarify and expand them. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 5
The civil rights of Americans are many, including the freedom to worship as one pleases, and the right to bear arms. Due process of the law, and equal protection of the laws. For nearly a century after its adoption, the Bill of Right remained unchanged, even though adult white men were the only citizens truly protected. At the end of the Civil War, in 1865, the nation adopted the 13th Amendment, which outlawed slavery and other forms of involuntary servitude. In the years immediately following the war, Congress enacted a series of civil rights acts aimed directly as securing the rights of former enslaved Americans. The first of these guaranteed equal rights for all people in the United States; another assured every citizen of an equal right to own, inherit, rent, or buy and sell real estate or personal property; and a third act made it a crime to use “force, intimidation, or threat” to deny anyone equal protection of the laws. In 1868, the far-reaching 14th Amendment was adopted, which guaranteed that no state could interfere with the civil rights of any citizen nor deny him due process of those. Not all discrimination is illegal or unconstitutional, however. Private individuals may choose the people with whom they associate, and private membership clubs may also be exempt from federal antidiscrimination laws. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 5
Choose the Right Time and Place
Contrary to the popular romantic image, no two people can fill all of each other’s requirements all of the time. It seems inevitable in an intimate relationship that people will sometimes be required to register complaints and request changes. This is not an easy process for caring individuals whose involvement is characterized by mutual empathy. When complaints pertain to the emotionally intense area of intimacy, it may be doubly difficult. Partners want to think carefully about the appropriate strategies and potential obstacles to accomplish this delicate task. Perhaps the best way to begin, before verbalizing a complaint to your partner, is to examine the motivations underlying your requirement to citizen. Be aware of your motivation—the way criticism is offered may depend largely on the critic’s motive. It seems clear that some people’s motivations for disapproving is not based on a caring desire to make their relationship better. If the aim is to hurt, humiliate, blame, ridicule, or get even, it is likely that disparaging a partner will prove to be far more destructive than constructive. Being aware of your motives for censuring your partner can help avoid this hidden or unsuspected danger or difficulty. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 5
We are concerned with constructive criticism that is prompted by a genuine desire for necessary change. It is not always easy to disapprove effectively while maintaining mutual empathy and a sense of togetherness. However, certain strategies can help maintain empathy in a confrontational situation. One important consideration is picking the right time and place. Many people to not choose the best time to confront their spouse. Rather, the time choose them: They jump right in when the problem is uppermost in their minds. Although there are some benefits to dealing with an issue immediately, it is not always the best strategy. You may be feeling disappointed, resentful, or angry and these negative emotions, when engrossed or excited, this can easily get in the way of constructive interaction. Avoid registering complaints when you are very angry. Although you may have every intention of making your criticism constructive, anger has a way of disrupting a search for solutions. Sometimes, however, it may be necessary to express anger. Yet, it is unwise to deal with an issue when you or your partner has limited time or is tired, stressed, preoccupied, or under the influence of any substance. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 5
When you want to talk to someone about an issues that is troubling, try to select an interval when you have plenty of time and are both relaxed and feeling close to each other. The way to approach someone is by saying something like this, “I really value our relationship, but there are some concerns I would like to go over with you. Is this a good time, or would you rather talk later?” Be prepared for some anxiety-induced stalling. If your partner is hesitant to talk now, support his or her right to pick another time or place. However, it is important to agree on a time, particularly if you sense your partner might prefer to let the matter go. Choosing the right place for expressing concerns can be as important as timing. Some people may find that sitting around the kitchen table while sharing a pot of coffee is more comfortable setting then the place where they work or out in public. A walk through a park or a quiet drive in the country, far removed from the potential interferences of a busy lifestyle, may prove best for you. Try to sense your partner’s needs. When and where is she or she most likely to be receptive to your request for change? #RyanPhillippe 3 of 5
Picking the right time and place to deliver criticism does not ensure a harmonious outcome, but it certainly improves the prospect of your partner responding favorably to your message. Using some other constructive strategies can also increase the likelihood of beneficial interaction. One of these is to combine criticism with praise. You do not have to focus exclusively on the painful parts of your relational legacy. You must also learn to honor the strengths you gained from your early experiences. There really is no point in going back to relive painful memories unless you can work with your past to build a better present. We do not always get that message. There are still many talk shows, reality shows, books, and feature articles that shine the spotlight on someone’s suffering as though suffering is a form of entertainment. However, it is important to understand that your painful experiences may have had a negative impact, but most likely, they also created some of your strengths and special gifts. When you do not get everything you require, the deprivation can help you become very resourceful. You can learn some great survival skills, like not passively waiting for someone else to provide for you. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 5
While age takes us by surprise, many find themselves looking for the signs of it appearing. Like adolescent preoccupation with the body, as we move in to the middle ages, we scan our features in the mirror looking for evidence of gray hair and wrinkles around the eyes, or we gaze at our hands and forearms looking for the rippled surface and the blotchy skin. That which will not happen to us, one day does happen to us and continues to happen to us. We are aging! Intense feelings of fleeting age produce a frozen in the past, a limited future, and a crushing present. One find less and less space, more and more construction, and fewer resources, and more darkness; yet all the while one continues to experience oneself as being the same person. When confrontation emerges in a caring relationship, the sufferer receives it as an expression of respect for his or her strengths as a person. Intimate relationship has been my greatest and most demanding teacher, having not only brought me deep happiness but also exposing my weaknesses, my zones of selfishness and unresolved wounding. I have also been able to face the challenge and grow. There is a good deal of wisdom in believing that people who truly love you want to make things better. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 5
Enables a Foolproof Prediction of Spontaneity—Where is Pissy (PEA)?
Honest passion has an instinct that can be safer than conscious wisdom. What determines why people fall in love and with whom they fall in love? These questions are exceedingly complex. Some writers believe that people fall in love to overcome a sense of aloneness and separateness. The union of one person is the deepest need of humans. People experience their own solitariness, they long for the refuge of union with another through love, not threat. Some observers see loneliness as a by-product of our individualistic and highly mobile society rather than as an inherent part of the human condition. This view emphasizes the connectedness that we all have with the people around us—through all our social relationships, language, and culture. According to this view, love relationships are one aspect of a person’s social network, rather than a than a cure for the aliment of loneliness. We have seen that love is a complex emotion that can be explained, at least in some part, by various psychosocial interpretations of its origins. However, the answer to why we fall in love may also encompass, to some degree, complex neurochemical processes that occur in our brains when we are attracted to another. #RandolphHarris 1 of 8
People caught up in the intense passion of blooming love often report feeling as though they are being swept away of that they feel like they are experiencing a kind of natural high. Such reactions may have a basis, at least, in part, in brain chemistry. A reaction pathway is a proposed pathway that gives all the intimate details of how reactants are converted into products which bonds are broken, which bonds are formed, and the timing of these processes are all postulated in a proposed pathway. The question of the timing of bond breaking and bond making is crucial to an understanding of how the energy content of a system varies as a reaction occurs. Before new bonds can be formed, releasing energy, some bond(s) of the original reactant must be broken; this requires energy input. Therefore, even in the exergonic reaction (where officially there is energy output) there will be come amount of energy input necessary before a reaction can take place. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8
Unfortunately, particularly from the perspective of love junkies, the amphetamine—like highs associated with new lovey typically do not last—perhaps in part because the body eventually develops a tolerance for phenylethylamine (PEA). PEA is a chemical similar to amphetamine drugs—and those they produce amphetamine-like effects such as euphoria, giddiness, and elations. The amount of energy input varies for different reactions because of differences in the bonds being broken and formed and the timing involved. The minimum energy that must be added to the reactions to initiate a reaction is called the activation energy. Every reaction, expect one in which no bonds are broken, has an activation energy. A reaction with a large activation energy is slow; one with a small activation energy is fast. With time, our brains may simply be unable to keep up with the demand for more PEA to produce love’s special kick. Thus the highs we feel at the beginning of a relationship eventually diminish. This is a plausible chemical and biological explanation for why passionate or romantic love is short-lived. #RandolphHarris 3 of 8
Love is an energy that changes chemical reactions. Love is free energy and therefore the shape of love is like a road over a hill, it has its highs and low, and usually fluctuates up and down, but does not break, unless you fail to maintain it or an Earthquake (a person who is blamed for the breakup of a marriage or family, especially due to having engaged in an affair with one member of a couple) comes along. The curves in love extend from the reactants to products show how the energy change as the system of love progresses from reactants to products. The highest point on the curve of lose represents the maximum energy on the pathway of romantic or passionate love. The energy difference between this highest-energy point and the reactants is the activation energy, that is, the amount of energy input required to get over the hill or energy barriers between reactants and products. Passion makes one think in a circle. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8
When a man gives himself up to the government of a ruling passion—or, in other words, when his hobby horse grows headstrong—farewell cool reason and fair discretion! To inspire hopeful passion is my destiny. The progress of the reaction pathway gives a graphical picture of the concept of reaction pathway. Keeping in this in mind enables us to see the relationship between pathway, activation energy, and kinetics, or rate of reaction. If the pathway from reactants to products involves going over a low hill, the highest energy point and the reactants of the activation energy is small, then the reaction is relatively fast, like a relationship based of lust (physical attraction). If, on the other hand, a high hill separates reactants and produces a large energy point and high reaction energy, then the reaction is slow, much like when you find someone attractive and smart, and are in love with them, but know you have to put in work to get them because they are not easy to come by. The relationship will develop slowly and is more like to last because you to do not get physically intimate right away. #RandolphHarris 5 of 8
Activation energy and reaction rate are related in exactly the same way that the height of a hill relates to the speed with which you can surmount the hill. If it is an easy target, you would get intimate quickly, there was not much of a hill to go over and you got what you wanted right away, so the way down the hill or falling out of love is easy. However, if you came up this mountain and had to put in all the work just to be noticed, then the way down the hill is going to take a while and you are less likely to run down it because you will fall on your face, and suffer tremendous heartbreak after putting in all that energy to get to the peak of the mountain. You know, you will be like, I put in all this work and you just gone leave me like that? So if the relationship required a lot of work just to get started, you are less likely to let it slip away. The pathway that must be traverse involves quite a large energy point and reaction energy, or a high hill. Activation energy is provided by the energy of motion, the kinetic energy of molecules. #RyanPhillippe 6 of 8
When two people have allowed their relationship to slowly grown and they build trust, the gases are simply mixed together, the molecules are moving too slowly to provide the activation energy required to surmount the barrier. A spark allows the reaction to occur at an observable rate by providing the necessary activation energy to a few molecules. When these reactant molecules get over the barrier and from product molecules, the energy released as love forms continues to supply the required activation energy to get over the low points in a relationship. And although people often overlook proximity, or geographical nearness, in listing factors that attracted them to a particular person, it is one of the most important catalyst. How little do they know human nature who think they can say to passion, so far shalt thou go, and no further! #RandolphHarris 7 of 8
Passion has eyes, as far-seeing in the dark as love’s. In the presence of finely divides metal particles, the reactant molecules can reaction by a different reaction pathway. We often develop close relationships with people whom we see frequently in our neighborhoods, in school, at work, or at church or synagogue. Why is proximity such a powerful factor? This new pathway has a lower energy different and reactivation energy and hence the reaction occurs more quickly. The metal remains unchanged in the course of the reaction. A material that speeds a reaction by lowering the energy difference between this highest energy point and the reactants of the activation energy, and is itself unchanged by the reaction. Passion has the sensitiveness of fever, and is as cruelly chilled by a tepid. #RandolphHarris 8 of 8
The Chemistry of Love
I hate it when I find myself in a relationship, and all I get is the runaround. I eventually get the picture when someone else does not reciprocate my feelings, but what a waste of time and energy. It is certainly true that a process or reaction that leads to a lowered enthalpy (a thermodynamic quantity equivalent to the total heat content of a system. It is equal to the internal energy of the system plus the product of pressure and volume) is generally spontaneous, there are also spontaneous processes in which there is no enthalpy (or even an increased heat content). For example, there is no enthalpy change when a gas expands to fill any available volume, and the ice above zero degrees Celsius spontaneously changes to liquid water is higher than that of the solid ice. The spontaneity in these cases arises through a different energy factor. In both of them, there is a change in the randomness of the system. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 5
The spreading out of the gas molecules results in an increases randomness of the gaseous system, and the molecules of liquid water are more randomly arranged then in solid ice. You are probably familiar with many common spontaneous events that occur with an increased in entropy, with a tendency toward increasing disorder. A new deck of playing cards will fall into a randomized mixture, increasing the entropy of the cards; only by providing your energy input can you once again order the cards. A clean, organized room has a definite tendency to become disorganized after a person of use. These are specific examples of a general phenomenon, the tendency of increasing entropy in natural processes. An increase in entropy (randomness) is described as a favorable or positive change; a decrease in entropy (less randomness, more order) is an unfavorable or negative change. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 5
Oh, love is the crooked thing, there is nobody wise enough to find out all that is in it, for he would be thinking of love till the stars had run away and the shadows eaten the moon. Thus there are two energy factors that determine spontaneity: changes in enthalpy and changes in entropy. The American scientist Josiah Willard Gibbs (1839-1903) combined these ideas into the concept of free energy. Free energy is defined as the energy available to do useful work. Knowledge about free energy, the change in free energy, is totally sufficient to predict the spontaneity of a reaction. The mathematical relationship between free energy, enthalpy, and entropy is as follows: change in free energy = change in enthalpy – absolute temperature multiplied by change in entropy for a particular process or chemical reaction at a fixed temperature. If a reaction or process leads to a lowered free energy, the reaction is spontaneous, nature tends toward minimum energy. Such a process is termed exergonic. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 5
In the opposite case, where the products of a reaction have a higher free-energy content than the reactants, the reaction is termed endergonic. You may ask, since free energy gives the total picture of spontaneity, why we previously considered only enthalpy, which does not always tell the whole story? The answer is that heats of reaction changes in enthalpy are much more easily determined experimentally than are change in free energy values. Thus enthalpy data are much more readily available. Also, in many cases entropy cases entropy changes are small or such as to enhance the effect of the enthalpy change. Why can they not just come out and say what they are feeling? At least I would know where I stand and could act accordingly? Do we really have to go through all of this chemistry and spell it out? #RyanPhillippe 4 of 5
A person’s feelings of frustration is understandable. However, one can attempt to resolve some of the uncertainty by asking the other person about his or her feelings. Jake and I had gone out several times, and at first he acted like he was attracted to me. However, then he began to treat me more like a friend. He continued to ask me out, but made no sexual gestures. I finally told him I was confused about how he felt about me. He seemed very concerned about my feelings as he told me that he wanted a friendship with me instead of a romantic relationship. I felt disappointed, and it was a little touch on my ego to not be desired sexually, but I decided that a friendship with him would be nice. And several years later, we are still friends. Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 5
Bricks without Straw
Throughout history, the treatment enslaved people received and the amount of social mobility afforded them varied greatly, depending on economic and political circumstances. In some societies, enslaved people had legal rights, were fairly well treated, assumed important political positions, and could gain freedom and become respected members of society. Slavery in the United States was very different because of racism and a supposed link between biology and class position. Some sociologist maintain that when slavery was abolished in the United States of America, Southern African Americans entered the second major system of stratification—the caste system. Not only African Americans are part of the caste system, but other cultures are well, however. Member of distinct families and lineages have restrictive sexual code that was ensured by a belief in ritual pollution, which held that even casual contact, among people from different social strata caused those of higher ranks to be contaminated. If a person from a high social hierarchy has the sex with a member of a lower caste, their defilement cannot be removed. This belief was very important in protecting the integrity of caste boundaries.
In a caste system, rank is hereditary and permanent, and marriage between members of different categories is prohibited. As an ideal type, the caste system is totally closed—status is ascribed, and no matter what they might do to change it, people inherit the social position of their parents. Power is the second dimension of class ranking. Power is the ability to realize one’s will, even against resistance and the opposition of others. There is a difference between personal power—the ability to make decision that affect one’s life—and social power—the ability to make decisions that affect the lives of others. Of course, power can refer to physical force, or the threat of violence by a person or group against others. However, authority, or legitimate power, carries far more weight in the conduct of human affairs. The difference in wealth leads to the formation of classes, which have similar lifestyles, or ways their members consumer goods and express their social worth. Differential wealth also gives social classes different life changes, or opportunities for securing such things as healthy, education, and longevity. We often use the word wealth to mean money, but it is more than just about financial standing.
In advanced industrial societies, wealth includes a person’s or family’s total economic assets. Wealth comes in the form of knowledge, human capital, stocks, real estate, trusts, yachts, and others goods and services are vitally important to class standing. For most people, however, income, which includes money earned in the form of wages and salaries, is the primary economic asset. Suppose you were given the task of helping the underprivileged in the United States of America. How would you go about identifying those are truly need financial assistance? Poverty is about the lack of food, housing, medical care, and other basic necessities. However, if you look more carefully you will see that in United States of America, poverty is also seen as failure, degradation, insecurity, and being at the very margins or even beneath mainstream society, as the term underclass clearly implies. In your assessment of who is and who is not poor, you can take either absolute or a relative approach. Absolute poverty occurs when people fall below a minimum subsistence level and are unable to function as members of society. For example, adults require at least 1,500 calories each day to function, and those who fall beneath this daily minimum may be defined as poor (and at the edge of survival) in absolute terms. Relative poverty is a lack of resources relative to others and the overall standards of a society. So, there is really nothing funny about being poor, especially when people are trying hard and being oppressed.
Since the majority of American have little contact with the poor, where do they get their opinions and “facts”? For many, the answer is that they watch television cop shows, Hollywood movies, and the evening news, or they listen to the talk radio, which daily informs millions of people about poverty and other social problems. Overwhelmingly, these mainstream media focus on inner-city ethic groups as the prototypical poor. According to the media spotlight, the vast majority of the poor are either young African American men or ghetto single moms (with many young children) who are routinely portrayed as preferring welfare to work. Examine the evening news or a Hollywood movie and its portrayal of poverty. Who are the poor and why are they poor? Are these portraits consistent with the government’s profile of the poor, which we now examine? The movie “54” with Ryan Phillippe as Shane 54 shows how a young man desires a more prestigious life, and gets in with the wrong crowd, and then loses everything. It was really sad to see him going from being a bright-eyed young man, with big dreams, to living on the streets wrapped in a trash bag because he was trying to win the affections of a young lady in a different caste.
The World has arrived at a period which renders it the part of Wisdom to pay homage to the prospective precedents of the Future in preference to those of the Past. The Past is dead, and had no resurrection; but the Future is endowed with such a life, that it lives to us even in anticipation. The Past is, in many things, the foe of mankind; the Future is, in all things, our friend. In the Past is no hope; the Future is both hope and fruition. The Past is the textbook of tyrants; the Future the Bible of the Free. Those who are solely governed by the Past stand like Lot’s wife, crystallized in the act of looking backward, and forever incapable of looking before. The future not being born; we abstain from baptizing it. For me, less privileged than my fellows, I never seen the future. I say that men who do not live in the present chiefly, but hamper themselves with giant tasks in excesses of alarm for the future, however devoted and noble they may be, reduce themselves to the dimensions of pigmies; they have the cry of infants. You reply, Foresight is an element of love of country and mankind. However, how often is not the foresight guesswork? The doubts of the past may be as nothing to the dangers of the future.
God-Like Complex—Certainly is Not as Glamourous as Melrose Place
The World is full of mortifications, and to endure, or to sink under them, makes all the distinction between the noble or the weak-minded. All societies, past and present, are characterized by social differentiation, a process in which people are set apart for differential treatment by virtue of their statuses, roles, and other social characteristics. The process of social differentiation does not require that people evaluate certain roles and activities as being more important than others. Nonetheless, social differentiation sets the stage for social inequality, a condition in which people have unequal access to wealth, power, and prestige. It is much more noble to rescue humanity from famine and death, than to violate the honest pride of their nature with the exhibition of victories and trophies. True nobleness of soul always shines brightest in adversity. However, as societies became more complex and surpluses grew, there was a fundamental change in the nature of inequality—stratification appeared. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 10
In games we can ignore what is confusing, unpleasant, or even threatening; in real life we cannot. It is impossible to understand people’s behavior in any society without the concept of social stratification, because class and position has a pervasive influence on almost everything that we thin and do. Social stratification is a form of inequality in which categories of people are systematically ranked in a hierarchy on basis of their access to scare but valued resources. In stratification, as opposed to other forms of inequality, social positions are ranked in terms of their importance, rewarded differentially, and transmitted from generation to generation through inheritance. To succeed, hard work, intelligence, and other personal skills are desirable, but one must also be aware of cultural and institutional arrangements that promote inequality in wealth, power, and prestige. Class position affects the foods we eat, the clothes we wear, and the television shows we watch. Even the most trivial matters are influenced by class, such as the colors we paint our houses and the names we give our children. Much more is involved, however. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 10
A thin joist of a spine never yet upheld a full and noble soul. I rejoice in my spine, as in the firm audacious staff of that flag which I fling half out to the World. In an instant’s compass, great hearts sometimes condense to one deep pang, the sum-total of those shallow pains kindly diffused through feebler men’s whole lives. Our position in the social hierarchy affects our healthy, happiness, and even how long we will live. Man never looks so noble as when he contends calmly with the obvious danger. Many people are wondering, if the economy is $19. 5 trillion in debt, why is pay so low, but everything so expensive and cost keep rising, because if minimum wage kept up with inflation, it should be about $25.00 an hour, but is about $10.00 an hour in most cities and states, and that is not even enough if you work a full time job to rent a studio apartment. Well, the relative permeability of boundaries and the opportunities available for people to move up or down in the social hierarchy depend much more on the nature of the stratification system than on the amount of individual effort. #RyanPhillippe 3 of 10
Sometimes goals are compelling, but the attainment of which is beyond the efforts and resources of some individuals, and these are known as superordinate goal. All contemporary societies distinguish between categories of people who are entitled to a greater share of wealth, power, and prestige and categories of people who are less deserving. People who see competition and feel threatened may want to hurt or slow their competition down to keep them from advancing, and they may poison the minds of others and turn people against you to prevent your career from advancing and hurt you financially. When two or more people or groups agree to commit an illegal act or to accomplish a legal objective by illegal means, they are guilty of conspiracy. People who communicate egocentrically reveal the “me-first” attitude that promotes team friction and weakens the team cohesiveness. Egocentrics may even ridicule the fundamental set of ideas, motives, or devices that justify or form the basis of teamwork, namely cooperation. #RyanPhillippe 4 of 10
I cannot continue my peculiarly strenuous work for any length of time without perfect physical health, and the dream is full of dismal allusions to the situation which would result if my pain and suffering continued. “I thought you were safe in the saddle up there,” one of my well-wished among the eminent physicians of the city recently said to me. And it was a feat to practice an attempt to run my own research department for eight to twelve hours a day, in hopes of attracting an employer, who would love my skill set so much he or she would overlook my limitations and requirement to set my own schedule. And also deal with the media propaganda and political minutiae. It is the most energetic denial of the pain which imagination could conceive. Egocentrism can be a significant problem. For example, it is reported that hospital errors produce 98,000 deaths and millions of injuries each year. One of the problems that contributes to this startling situation is physicians are steeped in a culture of quiet heroism and taught to exude a confident omnipotence. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 10
However, this confident omnipotence is not limited to doctors. Right now, we are dealing with the problem of an overabundance of information and everyone thinks they are an expert on any and everything, even when they are wrong. People are taught to believe that they are the center of the Universe, and they are not. They are convinced they could never make an error. They have a God complex. And, instead of admitting they are jealous or made an error, people often get engrossed in their lies and try to convince people they are true, and these critics go through extreme measures. Instead of acting god-like, they need to set aside their egos and become team members because they do not have a competitive advantage, due to the misuse of resources, and the inferior projects they are producing are leading to diminishing returns, as their products are inferior. Instead of paying for the resources they require to have a quality product, they abuse talent, and steal their ideas and their approach to the subject matter is misguided and often ridiculous, so it turns consumers, investors, and the audience off, which reduces their revenue. #RyanPhillippe 6 of 10
And because the team thought they could mistreat talent and often times physically and mentally abuse them, they lost an important resource and as an act of revenge they try to kill their perceived competition and tell people they are crazy before authorities figure out what happened and criminal charges are filed against the perpetrators involved in the conspiracy. The people with these inflated egos should have allowed themselves to become partners with the rest of the crew so they could accept input and pay for the goods and services, instead of using threats, intimidation, and physical and mental abuse. Bloated egos can destroy teams and corporations. They can foster defensiveness and perpetuate mistakes and fraud from egocentrics who desire to protect their image more than correct their mistakes. Slavery is one of the oldest and most resilient systems of stratification, and it is still flourishing in disparate political economies. It is estimated that there are about 3 million slaves in the World. A slave system includes two distinct strata—a category of people who are free and a category of people who are the property of others because the slaves have a lack of power and often times their human rights are not protected due to the unlawful behavior of corporations, who have relationships with corrupt politicians. #RyanPhillippe 7 of 10
The Mayor Anthony Silva, of Stockton, California USA was arrested by the FBI, with the help of the Amador County District Attorney’s Office, on the morning of 4 August 2016, while attending a youth camp he hosts for underprivileged children, at the Silver Lake campground, in Amador County. Mayor Anthony Silva was arrested on multiple criminal charges: suspicion of eavesdropping on or recording confidential communications (a felony). The Mayor was also arrested on suspicion of three misdemeanor counts: contributing to the delinquency of a minor, furnishing an alcoholic beverage to a minor, and cruelty to child by endangering health. A search warrant executed on Mayor Silva’s electronic communication device led to an audio recording of an alleged strip poker game at the Silver Lake camp for underprivileged children. Audio indicates one of the participants was a 16-year-old male, the participants were not clothed and they did not want to be recorded. The Mayor allegedly provided alcohol to participants in the game and to underage counselors. #RyanPhillippe 8 of 10
Mayor Anthony Silva had also been under investigation for alleged sexual misconduct multiple times, much like Mayor Kevin Maurice Johnson of Sacramento, California, multiple times, even before he was sworn in as Mayor in 2013. When he was a high school water polo coach in 2004, Anthony Silva was accused of secretly taping teens in the bathroom of his apartment. Charges were never filled. Authorities also investigated Anthony Silva in 2011 for an alleged rape attempt on a 19-year-old woman when he was president of the Boys and Girls club. In that case, prosecutors did not press charges dye to lack of evidence. Mayor Silva was also investigated by the San Joaquin County District Attorney’s office in 2013 after admitting he secretly recorded a conversation with the city manager without his permission. And 2015, Mayor Silva was detained at San Francisco International Airport on his way back from a mayor’s conference in China and had his electronics sized. #RyanPhillippe 9 of 10
The mayor could face more legal trouble because a gun stole from his rental house in 2015 was used in two crimes including the murder of a 13-year-old boy named Rayshawn Harris, while he was on his way to school. Mayor Silva was blocked into the Amador County Jail and posted bail, in the afternoon of 4 August 2016. Stockton California Police Officer Association is now calling for the resignation of Stockton Mayor. Justifiable is a suspicion that a man is capable of doing what he hath done already, and that it is possible for one who hath been a villain once to act the same part again. No one is above the law. Mercy to a criminal may be gross injustice to the community. Crime is a disease and it is contagious. Mayor Kevin Johnson, of Sacrament, California has also been accused of many sexual assaults and embezzling money from a school for underprivileged children. People are starting to wonder if the central valley is a criminal haven. #RyanPhillippe 10 of 10
White Clapboard House Tumbling to Ruin
You impudent phantom, look at me! Many corporate Chief Executive Officers (CEOs) now believe flexibility will be essential to adapt to rapidly changing and diversified global markets—especially international labor and money markets. The new economy has created a network society, where work, employment, and much of social life are marked by relentless change. A few key components of the network society is the feminization of paid labor, and the rise of the flexible woman has gradually emerged in the work force and she is proving herself to be, for the most part, more stable than her male colleagues. However, there are women who make CEOs regret hiring them because there has also been a pattern of women getting prestigious jobs, that are hard to come by and a few months later, they are pregnant and out on maternity leave, driving up cost. Another key component of why the many corporations are doing so well is given globalization and demographic trends, effective organizations have become more open to ethic group and recognize the special contribution of people with disabilities, which is accelerating virtually every aspect of people’s lives. Even fast-food organizations are trying to get faster, with many adding express lanes. Likewise, up-tempo, fast pace living has become a characteristic of every facet of daily life. #RyanPhillippe 1 of 5
People do not have time to stop on the street and talk about some gossip, nor sit at the coffee shop for years, talking about the same things over and over. Everyone wants fresh information and is trying to make the most of their precious time. To see people, even your friends, it is now required that you give them a at least a 24-hour notice, and some require plans to be made four weeks in advance, so they can make sure they are able to accommodate you. People have busy lives, and some have special considerations they have to take into place. There is a heavy emphasis on efficiency, consistency, predictability, quantification, and control of employee, family, friends, customer behavior, and this is now common to many organizations and people. Currently, alternative workplace of nontraditional work practices and settings affects 50 to 60 million people in the United States of American, who are either telecommuters or house-based workers. Network organizations combine belief, emotion, and the personal touch to sell products. The old enstooled “Customers Serve Us,” is out! People want to be treated like their hard earn money and time is appreciated, not entitled. #RyanPhillippe 2 of 5
Humans are worth far more than gold, diamonds, cars, and cash. And when you find a person who respects you and treats you like you are important and respects you, this can be worth more than a career in Hollywood, or running your own company. The most important thing in life is being happy. I have had a successful millionaire tell me he is a lot happier in his smaller less expensive house, out of Hollywood. He enjoys his isolation, privacy, and view. No one wants to be around people who just cares about how much money you have, what you drive or what you can buy them. People who interact with each other in patterned ways have a feeling of unity, and share certain expectations and interest. Primary groups include a small number of people who interact regularly and are emotionally committed to the relationships. If you do not know people, nor their intentions, it is best to treat them as a secondary group and operate on a formal and impersonal basis to achieve a specific objective. And keep in mind, why you are thinking you are being sneaky and slick, everyone has a range of tolerance, or a scope of behaviors that are considered acceptable. So when you are confronted about some trifling feces you did, do not pull that, “What are you talking about? You’re crazy.” #RyanPhillippe 3 of 5
Remember just 30 years ago, you could pull into a gas station, pump the gas and then pay? And just 60 years ago, you could send you child to the corner store alone to get some food, and then pay later? Society, for the most people used to be very honest and people cared about their reputations, not just where the house is located geographically. What does it say about American cultural values and norms when it is assumed that if a baby is left unattended it will be abducted and harmed? Can you think of other behaviors that might be considered deviant by American cultural standards, but perfectly acceptable in another country? And so we have the basis of a deeper problem. The drug problem can only be solved by a solution that is radical or horrendous as the initial problem itself. However, the solution, legalizing drugs, is wrong side up. It goes deeply against the grain of the original intention, which is to lower drastically the use of drugs in our society. And yet, here is a potential solution that argues in effect that to remove the problem you have to make the source of drugs more freely available. You are going to tell me some Lord of the Universe sends spooks like you to take little boy and girl to Heaven! #RyanPhillippe 4 of 5
And the plastic bag ban in Sacramento, which makes it unlawful for store to give away the thin bags, which are included in the price of the food you buy. Now they have to sell you a thicker plastic bad or paper bag for $.10. So now, the cost of food has increases with this tax on the bag you buy, and these thicker bags are ending up in landfills which take even longer to decompose, and we are cutting down more trees to sell paper bags, which tear easy and do not hold up in the rain. Also, Governor Jerry Brown made it legal for people to see the bathroom of the gender they feel they are, not their biological gender, so now it is legal for a predator to go in whatever bathroom they want. That is insanity! The purpose of these examples is not whether one agrees fully with the particular solution. The point is that so many of our current problems seem to generate the same general kind of solution. The solution consists of intensifying the initial problem itself! In the case of drugs, one lowers the high crime rate connected with the purchase of drugs by increasing the supply of low cost drugs. One solves the original problems, as it were, at the expense of creating another problem. Drugs are illegal because they are controlled substances that destroy your mind, your body, and your soul and could lead to your death. #RyanPhillippe 5 of 5
