Unhealthy patterns can develop in any relationship. Recognizing them can uncover abuse or stop it before it starts. Congruence, on the other hand, is accurately matching experience with awareness. It means to feel our feelings physically, to communicate them accurately, and to experience then consciously. If we can do all three, there is congruence. The manipulator is not congruent. When our heads are out of sync with our heart, we are said to be deceitful. For example, when we tell the hostess we had a good time at her party when actually we were bored, we are not expressing what we feel internally. Being perfectly honest, but still polite, we might say, “Thank you for inviting us.” When the manipulator’s conscious awareness is out of phase with his or her physiological awareness, the person is said to be defensive. For example, a man may express anger behaviorally, while denying it verbally. “Are you angry?” his friend asks. Clenching his fist and slamming it onto the table, he shouts, “No! I am not angry!” His body is angry, as anyone can plainly see, but he, unaware of his anger, cannot admit it. Rarely are the manipulator’s words congruent with his body. Learning to pay attention to bodily sensations helps the manipulator to bring about a congruence between bodily and conscious awareness. #RandolphHarris 1 of 33

Two elements are involved in the communication of feelings: sending and receiving. Much like radio transmitters, we constantly send out messages. The question is whether we are reaching anyone. We all have some degree of difficulty in communicating accurately, in being understood. Manipulators have special problems in this area of communicating their feelings. The first involves errors in sending, and one of these errors is the unexpressed expectation. It is Father’s Day, let us say, and Dad has secretly hoped that his children will remember him with a small gift, a card, or a phone call. He hopes one of these things will happen, but he does not say anything about his expectation. When nothing happens—no gift, no card, no call—he is understandably disappointed. However, the fault is largely his own. He made a sending error and allowed his expectations to go unvoiced. Most personal relationships are based on such expectations. Yet, many of us seldom take the time or trouble—or we are afraid, really—to ask for the things we want. The actualizer knows this, for he or she knows quite a bit about communication. The actualizer does not want to go through life being misunderstood. Knowing that many misunderstandings can be avoided by simple statements of need and want, the actualizer is able to ask for whatever he or she may want, no matter what it may be. #RandolphHarris 2 of 33

A second type of sending error is what we call the contrived expectation. This can be described as manipulating another’s response by the way we state our expectation. We exaggerate our expectation. One above average weight little boy, intent on eating a juicy red apple, begs his mother for some cookies. She offers the apple as an alternative, which is what he wanted all along. Or the wife who complains to her husband, “You did not get home until two A.M.,” knowing it was probably much earlier, in order to get him to admit that he got home at one in the morning. The other communication problem is in receiving, where we make just as many errors. For instance, we may appear to ignore a message that we are not ignoring at all. Someone says something that hurts us quite badly, but we will not say, “That hurts.” We ignore it; we simply do not respond at all as we continue to nurse our hurt. Another receiving error occurs when we neutralize the communication sent to us. This may very well be a measure of our ability to receive love. Someone says: “You look lovely tonight.” We do not reply, “Thank you, I appreciate the compliment.” Rather, we respond: “Oh, you look lovely, too.” It is almost as if we are afraid to feel good when someone gives us warm and caring messages. We keep throwing it back so we do not have to feel the impact of the good feeling. It is our marginalized personality, insisting we are not worthy, that cancels out the gifts of love. #RandolphHarris 3 of 33

A third receiving error is always responding in terms of the expectations of others. No matter what they say, we give back what we think they want to hear, denying our own feelings. “Do you like my new suit?” coaxes a friend. You reply dutifully, “Oh, I think it looks great.” The truth of your feelings may be that you wonder how your friend could have bought such a turkey. You might reply more honestly, “Well, I like the cut of the jacket,” or even, “No, I cannot say I do.” There is nothing wrong with disagreeing, especially in matters of taste. Finally, we may respond as if the other person’s message is contrived! “What is it she really wants to know?” you might wonder. “I have to figure out what she really wants so I will not give it to her.” A husband who had entertained clients (which included a former love interest) for lunch, is asked by his wife, “How was your lunch meeting today?” He assumes her question is contrived, for obvious reasons, and he is just not going to give her the reply she wants. So, he answers, “The same old thing.” Everyone wants a happy family, but even when people try to live the gospel, relationships can become hurtful. Some challenges are a result of the misunderstandings and frictions common to families. However, in healthy homes, people apologize for poor behavior and mend rifts, while in unhealthy situations, there are ongoing patterns of harshness or maltreatment that become abusive. #RandolphHarris 4 of 33

Abuse consists of actions intended to hurt or control. It consists of a range of behaviors that may include neglect, manipulation, verbal criticism, and physical or sexual violence. Unfortunately, abusive behaviors are common, with some scholars estimating that a quarter of children worldwide are mistreated physically, sexually or emotionally. Adults also have high rates of victimization, with approximately 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experiencing physical violence from a spouse. Abuse can happen in any relationship, and both men and women can be perpetrators. However, men are more likely to be controlling and to commit severe physical and sexual violence, and women are more likely to be terrorized, dominated, or badly hurt by a spouse. Abuse harms the soul of both the offender and the Savior. Modern prophets have states that those “who abuse spouse or offspring…will one day stand accountable before God.” Abusers often ignore or exploit principles of the gospel. When someone dismisses your pain and claim that they are right with God to downplay their betrayals and exaggerate your concerns, they are rejecting the principles of respect, love and compassion and mistreating you. Your efforts to live gospel principles sometimes cannot fix a problem they are creating. #RandolphHarris 5 of 33

Each of us can give in to unhealthy behaviors. There are certain characteristics common to all types of abuse, and the more severe and frequent these are, the less healthy the relationship will be. Although abuse is heartbreaking, change is always possible. Victims can reach out to spiritual and professional resources and seek the power of the Savior’s Atonement to heal their wounds. Those who have been abusive must repent and seek help. This requires going “down into the depths of humility,” (3 Nephi 12.2) and accepting full responsibility for their behavior. Change takes more than short-term promises and surface efforts. The pain of deep repentance is soul-wrenching, and some will not be willing to do it, which leaves victims with difficult decisions about how to protect themselves. However, just remember, violence only begets more violence. Our Heavenly Father is concerned about us just like a loving father is about his children. “And it came to pass that the Lord spake unto Enoch, and told Enoch all the doings of the children of men; wherefore Enoch knew, and looked upon their wickedness, and their misery, and wept and stretched forth his arms, and his heart swelled wide as eternity; and his bowels yearned; and all eternity shook,” reports Moses 7.41. There is weeping in heaven and on earth when bodies and souls are wounded. Yet, with humility, God’s power, and professional help, when necessary, it is possible to stop damaging behavior and create a home of dignity, safety, and love. #RandolphHarris 6 of 33

The question is being asked by a number of young people. Having observed too many disillusioning examples of disharmony with pleasures of the flesh in marriage, they are unwilling to commit themselves in any traditional sense, but perfect to live together only for as long as they please. They choose to practice freedom with pleasures of the flesh exclusivity within their relationships on the basis of personal preference. If and when they decide to have children, they may marry—although for some individuals, even then wedlock may not be considered mandatory. Unwed motherhood, a status previously accepted out of unhappy necessity, is the deliberate choice of a small but not inconsequential number of women, and the legal right of a single person to adopt a child has been established in some states. On the basis of this and other such evidence, some observers suggest that the institution of marriage, which has necessarily been changing over the centuries to accommodate the needs of a changing society, now faces a future in which it may gradually become obsolete. In their judgment, marriage will ultimately manifest itself not as a religious sacrament nor a legal certification but simply as a sociological fact. Thus, when a man and woman—or two individuals of the same gender—decide to live together both socially and sexually, they will be considered “married,” and when they decide to stop living together, they will be “unmarried.” Society, no longer claiming the right to approve or disapprove, will merely register all such unions as a matter of civil record. #RandolphHarris 7 of 33

Social critics who content that monogamy is losing its institutional viability have no difficulty shorting up their argument with numbers. At present, of all couples who marry for the first time, 43 percent will seek sooner or later a divorce; 60 percent of all second marriages end in divorce and 74 percent of third marriages end in divorce. The nation’s divorce rate has on the rise since 1960. This is not, however, a steady upward trend. Historically, the divorce rate has fluctuated over periods of time, and on one occasion, from 1945 to 1947, it was almost as high as it is at present. In addition, a national divorce rate statistic is, by itself, virtually meaningless. It is the by-product of social and historical developments, and any intelligent understand of its significance depends on analyzing the underlying influences. To take a single example, for illustrative purposes—divorce occurs far more frequently among people who marry young, who have little education and little money. Once the point has been stated that way, it can be seen as simply common sense. There is a limited chance of success for a marriage—or any other joint enterprise—if the two individuals become partners before they are experienced enough to choose each other on any sound basis, if they lack the education that prepares them to communicate with each other effectively and to meet the social challenges and complexities they must face, and if they have so little capital, and so little hope of gaining more, that any pleasure they might find in their association is sapped by the struggle to stay financially solvent. #RandolphHarris 8 of 33

Obviously, the odds against such a pair are disproportionately high. When such unions are dissolved, the explanation has less to do with the inadequacies of marriage per se than with inadequacies inherent in immaturity when combined with little education and income. Placed in this perspective, the national divorce rate says less about the questionable state of marriage than about the questionable amount of guidance and emotional supports society gives to its marriageable population. It is as foolish to try to gauge the value and meaning of marriage by examining divorce statistics as it would be to gauge the value and meaning of life by studying mortality rates. If a moment of fantasy be permitted, it could be argued that the only sure way of evaluating the desirability of life would be to find out how many among those who have left life would take the opportunity to return. This is, in fact, the most important way to look at divorce statistics—by checking the statistics on remarriage. The evidence is striking. The U.S. Bureau of the Census, acknowledged authorities on the subject, the accelerate divorce rate has been accompanied by an accelerated remarriage rate. An estimated eighty out of every one hundred divorced persons remarry—and at least sixty of those eighty marriages prove permanent. Thus, the very individuals who theoretically have had the experience needed to evaluate monogamy, choose to find another partner rather than live alone, and most of them do their best to make that marriage last a lifetime. #RandolphHarrris 9 of 33

If marriage is, as some critics insist, a body trap, then this makes no sense at all. Were that true, a divorced person, having savored the freedom of being single again, would hardly be lured back into matrimonial harness or, at the very least, would surely be less tolerant of constraint and more likely to slip the traces by getting a second divorce. However, this patten is the exception rather than the rule. Contrary to popular belief, therefore, it seems clear that divorced men and women do not ride on a marital merry-go-round. Evidently experience has taught them that some important and rewarding satisfactions, which cannot be obtained otherwise, are possibilities inherent in a stable relationship involving pleasures of the flesh. Consequently, even after one failure, they consider marriage a major goal in life. This is not the case for everyone, of course, and there is much to be said in favor of a society that permits individuals sufficient choice so that those who are ill-suited to marriage can remain single all their lives with no loss of social approval. However, they are a small minority of the population, and indications are that for some time to come they will so remain. For everyone else, however, what was true in the past is no less true at present and gives promise of being true in the future: the search for happiness and personal fulfillment, for the pleasure of a life that has meaning, sooner or later leads to marriage. #RandolphHarris 10 of 33

The earliest beginnings of thought, as apart from instinct, when it was itself still but a lurking tendency, belong far back in primeval time. The human intellect as we find it today, so rich and developed an instrument for the consciousness of the ego, did not arrive at this fullness without a series of graduated stages. We have had plenty of scientific thinking, business thinking, and political thinking long enough, but we have had very little inspired thinking. That is the world’s need. The intellect is cradled in selfishness but runs the evolutionary track into reason where it will one day finish at the winning-post of selflessness. The animal acts as its instinctive drives bid it act whereas in man this instinctive nature is made up with and consequently modified by, the awakening intellect’s need to consider, compare, and judge. He who wants to go back to the simple medieval life is welcome to it. He who wants his rooms cleaned with old-fashioned brooms that rise a cloud of dust and leave it hanging in the air until it can find safe lodgment in throats and lungs, is welcome to the dust. There are others, however, who react differently to such a situation; who are resolved to take advantage of the skill of human brains and the fact of human advance. They have thrown away the unhealthy broom and adopted the vacuum cleaner which removes and swallows the dust instead of filing the air with it. #RandolphHarris 11 of 33

We are not writing a thesis on domestic hygiene. We are writing in this strain because it is highly symbolic. It shows quite vividly the difference between the backward-looking mentality and the forward looking one. The student of philosophy belongs to the second category. He sees the futility of propagating a switch-back to medieval methods when we are in the midst of the greatest technical transformation mankind has ever known. He knows that modern conditions must be faced with modern attitudes. However, he takes “modern” to mean whatever has attained the most finished state as a consequence of progressive development. He knows it does not mean whatever is merely fashionable at the moment, as materialism was fashionable in intellectual circles and sensualism in youthful circles until very lately. His vision is larger than that of his contemporaries, because it encompasses more. They are modern only in a chronological sense, but backward in a spiritual one. It is the faculty of reason which differentiates human beings from all Nature’s other creatures. It is this which sets man beyond the animals. However reason untouched by the finer promptings of the heart, and unillumined by the sublimer intuitions of the mind, degenerates easily into selfish cunning, and degrades instead of dignifying man. #RandolphHarris 12 of 33

It may be they find it too hard to make the crossing from the older way of thinking to what is demanded of them by the new knowledge: a willingness to accept paradox. For otherwise they get only a half-truth. Reason gradually becomes paramount as man develops through life after life. How few are even aware of their intellectual dishonesty! Through his exclusive possession of the capacities for independent choice and self-control, as well as his privilege of individual responsibility, man is set apart from the animal. What this age needs to seek is a new intellectualism, a new science, one informed by deeper spiritual feeling and protected by higher spiritual ideals. A high quality of thinking is being done by men who are probing now for the better life of tomorrow. They are coming to the only possible conclusion about the validity of determinism on the basis of known facts, when regarded by the whole mind of intellectually mature man—the mind which uses both its abstract and materialistic thinking capacities and, consequently, verges on the truly intuitive. I am reminded of Bacon’s well-known remark about the slight use of reason leading to atheism and the adequate use of it leading back to religion. Although men are born with latent mental power and potential intelligence, few use these qualities to their utmost possibilities. Man arises out of the mysterious womb of the Infinite, yet he is to be found everywhere as a pitiful creeping creature, full of mortal frailties, finite indeed. Yet they unseen mental being of man is the silent workman who really constructs the edifice of his happiness. #RandolphHarris 13 of 33

Considering the extreme sensitivity of a neurotic pride to hurt, we are inclined to consider it as a rank growth of healthy pride. The essential difference, however, as we have so often before found true, is not one of quantity but of quality. Neurotic pride is by comparison unsubstantial, and it is based on entirely different factors, all of which belong to or support the glorified version of oneself. They may be extraneous assets—prestige values—or they may consist of attributes and faculties which one arrogates to oneself. Of the varieties of neurotic pride that in prestige value seems the most normal. In our civilization, it is an average reaction to be proud of having an attractive young lady, of coming from a respectable family, of being native born, a Southerner, or New Englander, belonging to a political or professional group enjoying prestige, meeting important people, being popular, having a good car or address. This kind of pride is the least typical for neurosis. To many people with considerable neurotic difficulties, these things mean no more than they do to the comparatively healthy person; to many others they mean distinctly less; if indeed anything. However, there are some who have such a heavy investment of neurotic pride in these prestige values, and for whom they are so crucial, that their lives revolve around them and they often fritter away their best energies in their service. For these people, it is an absolute must to be associated with groups that carry prestige, to be affiliated with prominent institutions. #RandolphHarris 14 of 33

Of course, all their hectic activities are rationalized in terms of genuine interest of the legitimate wish to get ahead. Anything that accrues to this prestige then may evoke real elation; any failure of the group to enhance such a person’s prestige, or any diminution of the prestige of the group itself, provokes all the hurt-pride reactions. For example, a member of someone’s family not “making good,” or being mentally ill, may be a heavy blow to his pride, mostly hidden behind superficial concerns for the relative. Again, there are many women who prefer to abstain from going to a restaurant or a theater than to go without a male escort. All of this looks similar to what anthropologist tell us about certain so-called primitive people among whom the individual primarily is and feels as a part of the group. Pride then is invested not in personal matters but in institutions and group activities. However, while these processes seem to be similar, they are essentially different. The main difference is that the neurotic is at bottom unrelated to the group. He does not feel part of it, does not have a feeling of belonging, but rather uses it for his personal prestige. Their way of living is often very beautiful—the inner me coming through, letting into the world the humanness that we exclude not because we do not like it, do not think it would be a good way to live, but because it is not “practical.” Sometimes their love for all others is seen as a threat to monogamy, although this love has nothing to do with age or gender. #RandolphHarris 15 of 33

The human beings’ peculiar genius among living forms, the trait that enabled them to prevail while dinosaurs and other creatures became extinct, is their peculiar lack of specialization. When environments change, inflexible organisms die off. Conventional upbringing and life style encourage a person to become overly adapted to some fixed range of environmental challenges. A person living a sedentary, scholarly life, for example, may become above average weight, with his or her head jutting forward; someone who works at a machine calling for a strong right arm may develop monstrous biceps in that arm, whereas the left remains the usual size. Sickness, both physical and psychological, can stem from over adaptation to an environment or culture. Besides so-called occupational diseases, produced by the stresses peculiar to given occupations, there are the symptoms brought about by change in environment. When a person’s resources have been committed to coping with one set of demands and challenges, that person may not readily uncommit them to respond to challenges coming from another sector of life. Thus, many persons become sick when they change jobs, neighborhoods, and even family status. The neurotics whom Dr. Freud treated were persons overly specialized to survive within the structure of their family origin. When they were asked to leave home, to start another family, they were unable to despecialize themselves from the role of son and daughter in order to take on new roles of husband or wife. #RandolphHarris 16 of 33

There is a real sense, then, in which various psychotherapies and the techniques for re-embodiment are despecializing procedures, making it possible for persons to let go their somatic “recall” of the past—to forget their past somatically—in order to learn how to act effectively in the present. Memory resides in the muscles, joints, and viscera as much as in the brain cells. Thus, the methods of yoga, Rolfing, fasting, and meditation all are approaches to the erasure of the past, as it is recorded in the musculature and habitual patterns of physiological functioning. These techniques also function as means to alter one’s usual way of being aware of self and the world. We are usually involved in various life projects, such as the pursuit of our profession; and in various interpersonal roles, for example, the role of son to parents, student to teacher, and man to woman. These are commitments of our “embodied” consciousness that influence the way the world appears to us and the way we experience ourselves. Our projects and our roles represent the specialized way in which we appear to ourselves and others in the world. When the somatic aspect of this specialization is “wiped out” so that one truly becomes no one, it is possible to re-enter one’s old ways with more vigor and with new perspectives, and it is also possible to begin disengaging from chronic roles and projects so that growth of self can occur. #RandolphHarris 17 of 33

Athletes and dancers would never think of beginning their contest or performance without a series of “warm-up” exercises. Although they are specialists, dancers and athletes have had to train hard to liberate their musculature so that their bodies become versatile instruments, capable of flexibility unavailable to the average person. However, when these people engage in routine daily pursuits, their musculature follows suit. For a performance, they must disengage their thinking and their bodies from these mundane involvements. Hence, warming up is a way of disengaging from one way of being in order to re-engage in another. In current slang, “psyching oneself up” to undertake some tasks or feat is a variety of disengagement and warming up. Fire fighters also warm up, and good communication is vital for effective firefighting. When a fire is discovered, the award-winning Sacramento Fire Department must be summoned and citizens alerted to the danger. During the firefight, officers must be able to communicate with fire fighters or summon additional resources. Not surprisingly, improvements in communication systems are tied to improvements in the fire service. During the colonial period, fire wardens or night watchmen patrolled neighborhoods and sounded the alarm if a fire was discovered. Some towns, including Charleston, South Carolina, built a series of fire towers from which wardens could watch for fires. In many towns, ringing the community fire bell or church bells alerted citizens to a fire. #RandolphHarris 18 of 33

Every academic business, or fire department you will ever produce will fit into one of two categories. Action-and-information messages ask the receiver to do something: Schedule a makeup exam; prepare a marketing report; put out a fire on a hilltop. Information-only message tells the receiver something: The primary cause of the American Civil War was states’ rights; Estelle LaMonica is the new Vice President of Human Resources; Alpha Company has one vehicle down for fire damage. You must focus—clarify—your message so your receiver is certain—clear—on what he or she is supposed to do or know. Too many action-and-information-only messages fail because the receiver mistake for information-only messages: “I need a make-up exam,” you send. “You sure do,” thinks the receiver. “If we knew that market better, we could increase our share.” “That is a good idea.” “The bad guys have a fire planned on Hill 442.” “That is right. I saw the intelligence reports as well.” Decide before you communicate if your message is action-and-information or information-only. If you are communicating an action-and-information message, specify what your receiver must do and know. Break through the noise. As the send, as the on trying to communicate, you have the responsibility to communicate clearly—to break through the noise. Think in terms of your receiver. Use your receiver’s terms of reference. If a fire department’s objective is to your front but to your receiver’s flank, refer to the objective as to the flank. (This very mistake—front rather than flank—resulted in the deaths of 550 British cavalry troops at the Battle of Balaklava in the Crimean War.) #RandolphHarris 19 of 33

Use descriptive language. Use visualization and analogies. Instead of saying, “The fire is big,” say, “The fire is the size of a football field.” Instead of saying, “I want you to put out that fire,” say, “I want you to put out that fire as if you were trying to save the President’s house.” Ask for feedback. It is not enough to ask, “Do you understand me?” The obvious answer is “Yes. Absolutely. Sure, I do,” no matter what the understanding may be. General Lee’s intent may have been “Take Cemetery Hill only if I can do it without casualties.” If General Lee had asked, “Do you understand me?” Ewell’s response—no matter the difference between intent and understanding—would have been “Yes. Absolutely. Sure I do.” Craft your request for feedback so your receiver will have to demonstrate his or her understanding of the message. “What—specifically—do I want you to do?” “What—specifically—will you do now?” “How will you do it?” Revise as you need to. You may have to repeat your message several times before you communicate successfully. Use the feedback you get to adjust your message to the needs of your receiver. Put your bottom line up front (BLUF). Get to your point in the first 10 seconds of your message. Your point—your bottom line—in an action-and-information message is what you want your receiver to do: “Attack, seize, and put out that fire.” Your point—your bottom line—in an information-only message is what you want your receiver to know: “Alpha Company has one vehicle down for fire damage.” Audiences—receivers are impatient. “Get to the point,” they say. “How does this affect me? If you do not get to your point, if you do not explain how your message affects your receivers, they will tune out. They may be physically present during the rest of the message, but their minds are far away—thinking of food; thinking of home; thinking of other tasks and responsibilities they have to perform. #RandolphHarris 20 of 33

Use simple words. Great communicators use simple words. Consider these examples: “Carthage must be destroyed!” (Cato the Elder, an ancient Roman senator.) “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” (Franklin D. Roosevelt.) “I have a dream.” (Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.) “Make America Great Again!” (Donald Trump.) Look closely at the examples. Notice the overwhelming use of single-syllable words. Notice the absence of any long “impressive: words. Given the choice between a simple word and a long word—and given there is no difference in the meaning of the two words—use the simple word. Your communication will be clearer. Use concrete words. Concrete words draw pictures in your receiver’s brain. Consider the difference between the two phrases: “An old car.” “A 1966 blue Mustang convertible.” Which phrase draws a picture in your brain? You can visualize the Mustang far more easily, far more quickly, than you can visualize an old car. You can visualize “15 Sacramento Fire Fighters with hoses and axes,” far more quickly, far more easily, than you can visualize “a good guys.” Early humanity possess a mind that thought in terms of images and pictures rather than in terms of logical sequence. However, it developed marvelous memory as a consequence and entire volumes of sacred books were handed down for centuries by oral tradition before they were committed to writing. #RandolphHarris 21 of 33

The man of the twenty-first century must seek truth in his own fashion. The question of how many angles can stand on the point of a pin does not interest the modern mentality. This longing to know more may, at the start, be motivated by the desire to earn more but, in the end it will be motivated by the search for Truth. “I found out working with the Sacramento Fire Department is the greatest job in the world. Probably because of the men you work with, the camaraderie. It’s like a family, and you’re with them as much as you’re with your own family. Sometimes more. Where I’m at, the guys keep things light. It’s a job where you can find a lot of satisfaction, because you can see the results of your work immediately. You know right away that you’ve helped people. It’s not like you’re working with papers. People don’t always like others, but they’re always glad to see the firemen. I like helping people. What makes the job worth the injuries I’ve had? I can’t speak for everyone else. I’ve always kind of walked a thin line. I’ve always been—not reckless—but I’ve always been around danger. But danger is just part of the job, everyone accepts that. And the benefits outweigh the dangers. I get satisfaction out of this job. I could have died in this fire at the young age of twenty-eight, but that’s a risk. I knew the risks when I came on the job, and you just try to be as well prepared as you can. Nobody wants to die. Nobody wants to leave his family. My wife knows that. She also knows that I’m prepared, and it’s just part of the job. #RandolphHarris 22 of 33

“I don’t want a medical disability. I’d like to put my time in. I’ve got what they call RADS—reactive airway deficiency syndrome. It’s a form of asthma. I asked the doctor, ‘How long will I have this?’ He said, ‘Some people get rid of it right away, and some people never get rid of it.’ So I’m still taking inhalants and different things. And we’ll see what happens the next time I get a smoky job, how I react to it. That’s what the doctor said. ‘The only way you’re going to know is if you get another smoke situation. You’ll see what happens.’ I’d like to work my way up the chain of command. There’s nothing wrong with being a fireman for twenty or thirty years. Sometimes you’re in a place where you know more than your officer, and you have to swallow it because he’s got the rank. That’s motivation enough to study. If you feel you can help others and you’re a little more on the ball than most people, I think it’s your duty to try to attain an officer’s rank.” Spiritual teaching must be expounded today in a form suited to the modern need. The doctrines so revealed should be methodically progressive and the explanations should be systematically developed. At last the living growing entity has reached a kingdom of Nature where it can develop the power to think not only about material topics but also about spiritual ones. Where we do not know the different sides of a case, where we have not ascertained the various facts behind the answer to a question, it is wiser to suspend judgment, fairer, if possible, to refrain from taking action. #RandolphHarris 23 of 33

If you see a fire truck stopped in the street without the lights on, be very careful. Sometimes there is an emergency situation and you should not pass the fire truck. It might be a good idea to safely turn around and go another way. Sometimes fire fighters are getting back into their vehicle and if you pass the apparatus, you may collide with a firefighter who is on foot. Also, be sure to look at their signals, sometimes emergency vehicles are in motions, albeit, slowly, and drivers try to pass them, and this could lead to a dangerous situation. Also, if you are in an intersection when you see an emergency vehicle, continue through the intersection. Drive to the right as soon as it is safe and stop. Obey any direction, order, or signal given by a law enforcement officer, or a firefighter. Even if they conflict with existing signs, signals, or laws, follow their orders. When their siren or flashing lights are on, it is against the law to follow within 300 feet of any fire engine, law enforcement vehicle, ambulance, or other emergency vehicle. If you drive to the scene of a fire, collision, or other disaster, you can be arrested. When you do this, you are getting in the way of firefighters, ambulance crews, or other rescue and emergency personnel. The concept of professional courage does not always mean being as tough as nails, either. It also suggests a willingness to listen to other peoples’ problems, to go to bat for them in a tough situation and it means knowing just how far they can go. It also means being willing to tell the boss when he or she is wrong. #RandolphHarris 24 of 33

California is the third most expensive state in the nation. A single person making an income above $100,000 is now consider low-income in five counties in California. This distinction now applies to individuals living in Santa Cruze, Santa Clara, San Mateo, San Francisco, and Marin counties. In 37 percent of counties, a family of four living on a six-figure income is now considered low-income.  In fact, Governor Gavin Newsom of Democratic controlled California, brags about being the world’s “fifth largest economy,” but it also facing a $12 billion deficit, looking to cut $747 million for state worker’s pay, pushing to keep medical insurance for illegal immigrants, and has the largest homeless population in the nation. If they are all officially counted, California has approximately 4 million homeless people. The highest home prices in the nation, the highest taxes and the most unfriendly business regulations known to man. The average home price in California is nearly $1,000,000.00 USD, while the average salary is $96,036.00, meaning that most Californians cannot even afford to buy a home. California is having an affordability crisis. In 2025, many people in California saw their bills increase by an estimated $500 a month. This includes things like food, automobile insurance, homeowner’s insurance, electricity. In fact, more than 3 million people in California are facing household hardship, and more than 300,000 of them are facing eviction soon. This comes at a time when California is having a shortage of affordable housing. This is caused by nearly half a century’s old laws that discourage homes sales and encourage higher rents. Meanwhile, China, where we are sending all of our jobs and money has more than 50 ghost cities. Ghost cities are regions will housing has been overdeveloped to the point that these places are uninhabited. Because California is so hostile towards people and businesses, more than 360 companies have fled the state since 2020. Businesses like Chevron, SpaceX, Oracle, and Hewlett Packard are amongst the names on that list. #RandolphHarris 25 of 33

Also, more than 500,000 people a year are abandoning California because it is too expensive to live in, crime is out of control, and they are losing their jobs due to companies relocating. More than 100 companies have announced layoffs in California for 2025. Intel is cutting 15,000 jobs, PayPal 2,500 and Meta has terminated 4,000 employees. The California crisis created by Democrats is driving up home prices and mortgages and rents all over the nation and the world, making living unaffordable for all, and advocates say the crisis is far from over. Accordingly, California has more than 3.5 million illegal immigrants. Having the Southern American boarder open and not having American farmland protected, not producing beef, poultry, fish, fruit, produce and dairy in America, and without American goods and services being our number one manufactured and selling items, America has created a dangerous and significantly elevated risks to national security, national economic security, and national public health. Some people may believe that these claims are overstated, but by not routinely monitoring Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures (CEVs) or other security relevant alerts, such as end-of-life of machinery is how the Oroville Dam Crisis occurred in 2017. Other crises that have occurred due to neglect of critical infrastructure is the 2025 Palisades fires because Southern California ran out of water, when they are located next to an ocean and they could have simply created desalinating plants to help with the water shortage. The water is so plentiful that it is currently eroding land and causing homes to fall into the sea. #RandolphHarris 26 of 33

The American government should know all exploitable vulnerabilities and fix them prior to the situation becoming a crisis. Failure to take such mitigating actions is dangerous and significantly elevates risk to national security, national economic security, and national public health and safety. The American government must understand that significant time and resources must be invested in America. They must also encourage corporations to plan for both mitigating safety vulnerabilities in the short term and eliminating them in the long term. For instance, a company might begin by reaching out to the federal, state or local government and requesting tax incentives to provide security to dangerous communities, to help the government repair bridges and potholes. America needs an approach to eliminate safety vulnerabilities in American cities. There needs to be a road map by the end of 2025, outlining a prioritized approach to eliminate crisis situations in America. There is enough money to send aid to foreign nations, but the American government does not have enough money to care their infrastructure, provide adequate resources, nor end the affordable housing crisis. Nor is there enough money to fund other national critical functions (NCFs). These bad practices of putting America and Americans last is considered exceptionally risky, particularly to national security, national economic security, and national public health and safety. In 2024, Americans spent $100 billion on Japanese cars. #RandolphHarris 27 of 33

The American government should know all exploitable vulnerabilities and fix them prior to the situation becoming a crisis. Failure to take such mitigating actions is dangerous and significantly elevates risk to national security, national economic security, and national public health and safety. The American government must understand that significant time and resources must be invested in America. They must also encourage corporations to plan for both mitigating safety vulnerabilities in the short term and eliminating them in the long term. For instance, a company might begin by reaching out to the federal, state or local government and requesting tax incentives to provide security to dangerous communities, to help the government repair bridges and potholes. America needs an approach to eliminate safety vulnerabilities in American cities. There needs to be a road map by the end of 2025, outlining a prioritized approach to eliminate crisis situations in America. There is enough money to send aid to foreign nations, but the American government does not have enough money to care their infrastructure, provide adequate resources, nor end the affordable housing crisis. Nor is there enough money to fund other national critical functions (NCFs). These bad practices of putting America and Americans last is considered exceptionally risky, particularly to national security, national economic security, and national public health and safety. In 2024, Americans spent $100 billion on Japanese cars. #RandolphHarris 28 of 33

Additionally, with inflation rates at an all-time high, American being in an unofficial recession for about a decade, all insurance in California is becoming unaffordable. State Farm has received an approval for an emergency rate increase, which was approved by the California Insurance Commissioner, to stabilize the market and protect policyholders. Starting 1 June 2025, homeowners will see an average of 17 percent increase, rental dwellings will see an increase of 38 percent, and Condo owners will see a rate increase of 15 percents. These rate increases are due to the distressed caused by the recent wildfires, which accumulated over $7 billion in claims. Furthermore, in 2022, California Governor Gavin Newsom signed Senate Bill 1107, also known as the Protection California Drivers Act, into law which increases the minimum auto lability limits for bodily injury to $30,000 per person and $60,000 per accident. Senate Bill 1107 also increased the minimum liability limits for property damage to $15,000 per accident and the DMV deposit for uninsured drivers to $75,000. The bill went into effect on January 1, 2025. This means that drivers with existing policies with lower limits will renew at the new minimum limits on or after January 1, 2025, and insurance premiums could increase by as much as 54 percent. America is in a state of crisis right now because of mismanagement by democrats. With the median household income in Sacramento County being $88,724 and a 4-bedroom 2.5-bathroom Cresleigh home costing $798,059, how are people able to afford homes? Because an $800,000 home with a one percent downpayment of $8,000, 30-year fixed loan at 4.176 percent interest comes with a monthly mortgage payment of $4,241. #RandolphHarris 29 of 33

The maximum percentage of your gross income that you should earmark for a monthly mortgage payment is calculated at 28 percent, and no more than 36 percent of your gross income to all debts, including mortgage. If you take 28 percent of the median household income per home in Sacramento County, homeowners can only afford a mortgage of $2,070.23 per month. And if you take 36 percent of their gross income to all debts, including mortgage, they should be devoting no more than $2,661.72 a month to these debts. Mortgage lenders must be using some kind of sorcery to get buyers into these expensive homes. To afford one of these homes using traditional guidelines, a household would need to gross $11,280.24 per month or $135,362.88 per year, but the median household in Sacramento County is grossing $7,393.67 or $88,724.00 and that typically means two to four people in the home are working and contributing to the mortgage. Prices in Sacramento County are actually rivaling the Bay Area, and the Bay Aera is so expensive because they have more higher paying jobs and is a tourist destination. And with the State of California being in a budget deficit of $12 billion, Governor Gavin Newsom Granted 700,000 illegal immigrants free health care at a cost to taxpayers of $3 billion annually, while cutting vital programs for veterans, school children, the disabled and the homeless, and is proposing to fast-track his plan to build a $20 billion water tunnel beneath the Sacramento-San Joaquin River Delta by eliminating environmental reviews and limit avenues for legal challenges. Gavin Newsom only cares about the environment when his policies allow him to raise taxes and restrict freedoms. Gavin Newsom has been a total tyrant with no regard for taxpayers and does not have a mind for business and should be impeached as soon as possible. #RandolphHarris 30 of 33

Meanwhile, with President Trump, we are seeing crime rates sharply decrease, and he recently secured $10 trillion in investments. If elected president for an unprecedented third term, to make housing more affordable and to offset the cost of homeowner’s insurance and auto insurance, President Trump plans to abolish property taxes. Much like the land crisis in Las Vegas, we could also run out of land to farm and will not be able to grow or cultivate our own food. We can protect American farmland and support American farmers by buying American made beef, poultry, dairy, and produce. Also, country of origin labeling is very important so Americans can know where their food is coming from and have the ability to support American farmers and ranchers. As money flows, it influences further investment. Save the land that sustains us by protecting American farmland. Once the land is built on, we lose it forever.  And in the future, there may be food wars. Also, to ensure that we have farmland and buildable land for future use, we need to start limiting the number of people allowed to immigrant to America. Perhaps with the immigrants we do allow into America, there needs to be a diversity program to make sure we have a population that equally represents all races of people. If Americans continue to spend money on American products, then more need to be made to keep up the inventory. When investors notice these goods are selling, it gives them the confidence to pour more money into that local business. It shows that people want these goods made in America and pressures investors to keep these goods and services in America. The jobs stay here, the business stays in American, wages naturally increase, and more money is invested to keep up with demand. This reduces the burden on the taxpayer. When you support American businesses, that money stays in our economy and can help to reduce the national debt. The government creates debt by borrowing from businesses in the private sector or from foreign countries. It also increases the national debt by spending more than it gains in tax revenue in a fiscal year. #RandolphHarris 31 of 33

When people shop locally, more tax money stays in the economy and goes to the government. This way, it keeps more money in our national economy and keeps more jobs located in American which also sends more taxes to the government, which can again help to reduce the national debt.When you buy foreign goods, these companies usually have lighter tax loads or exemptions, meaning less money for the nation debt, plus you are helping to strengthen these foreign nations by send more money overseas. Buying American made products is also better for the environment and helps to reduce the carbon footprint because these products do not have to travel nearly as far. Furthermore, American companies and manufacturers are held to much higher standards in regard to pollution. American companies have to be more careful about air, land, and water pollution and have proper ways to dispose of waste. Moreover, please remember to respect law and order and treat your elders with the utmost dignity and kindness possible. And take your education seriously so that you will be successful in life and make your family proud. It is inborn in the human minds to wish to know. If this begins with the endless surface questions of a child’s curiosity, if it continues into deeper questions of a scientist’s probing investigation, it cannot and does not stop there. For the higher part of the mind will eventually come into unfoldment, that union of abstract reflective thought with mystical intuition, which is true intelligence, which needs and sees a view of the whole of things. And so, the knowing faculty enters the realm of philosophy. #RandolphHarris 32 of 33

As you can see, President Donald Trump and his pledge to “Make America Great Again,” is exactly what America needs to save the country and the American people. And yes, diversity is important, so you can see why it is also important to preserve blonde hair and blue eyes as the people with these characteristics are becoming a minority in America. We must think before we can understand the soul’s existence; we must understand before we can realize it. The earliest beginnings of thought, as apart from instinct, when it was itself still but a lurking tendency, belong far back in primeval time. The human intellect as we find it today, so rich and developed an instrument for the consciousness of the ego, did not arrived at this fulness without a series of graduated stages. We have had plenty of scientific thinking, business thinking, and political thinking long enough, but we have had very little inspired thinking. That is the world’s need. The intellect is cradled in selfishness but runs the evolutionary track into reason where it will one day finish at the winning-post of selflessness. As a reminder, parents, pleasure teach your children love America and be patriotic citizens and to buy goods and services made in America. It is also important to respect law and order and treat your elders with respect. “Oh, thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand between their loved home and the war’s desolation! Blest with victory and peace, may the heav’n-rescued land Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation! Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just, and this be our motto: ‘In God is our trust.’ And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.” #RandolphHarris 33 of 33

The Winchester Mystery House

It has been one lone, perilous journey through twisted woods and sleepy poppy fields and neglected roads. He trembled as he drew near The Winchester Mansion. He stopped, listened to the creaking wooden beating from the heart of the mansion. It was louder than a human heart, and colder as well, and he watched as silvery streams of ghost flowed through its hollow. The streetlights fade behind him until it is totally dark. There is no light. There is no sound. There is no movement. He clutched his coat collar tight to his throat. Muscles tense. Sweat streaks his forehead and trickles down temples to flushed cheeks. Tears gushed from his wounded eyes. He starred at the mansion, pleading for forgiveness. “Join me,” it beckoned. “Hurry.” His pale face pressed against the front window. Haunted expression, fast frozen in deja vu. A spirit passes through him. Lingering memories revive the night when, in an eternal moment, this had become his home. He stumbled inside. The door slammed. Mrs. Winchester’s trembling hand throws a switch. He crawls forward. It was always quiet here, yet he could not rest. However, he knew he would repeat this cycle nightly, always at this hour. Forever.

Experience an unforgettable journey back to the time of kings and queens with this entry ticket for The Winchester Mansion in Santa Clara, California which was the residence of Sarah L. Winchester. Take advantage of this fascinating experience. After tour, there will be time enjoy the mansion’s splendor at your own pace. You might even discover secret passages.

Please come and enjoy a delicious meal in Sarah’s Café, stroll along the paths of the beautiful Victorian gardens, and wonder through the miles of hallways in the World’s most mysterious mansion.

For further information about tours, including group tours, weddings, school events, birthday party packages, facility rentals, and special events please visit the website: https://winchestermysteryhouse.com/

Please visit the online giftshop, and purchase a gift for friends and relatives as well as a special memento of The Winchester Mystery House. A variety of souvenirs and gifts are available to purchase. https://shopwinchestermysteryhouse.com/

We wish to express our gratitude to our families, ancestors, spirits, and friends and to our many associates and clients, whose lives touched our lives and whose ideas helped us to grow. We would also like to thank our employees and care takers for putting the technical ideas of this estate into conversational style, and we are, of course, extremely thank to all of our patrons for helping to keep the legacy of the Winchester Family alive. The Winchester Mystery House is full of surprises. What was your favorite, “Oooh!” moment during your visit at the mansion? (And for those of you who still have to check it off your bucket list… we will hopefully see you soon.)  https://winchestermysteryhouse.com/