The capacity to give and receive love is not to be destroyed, nor can it be. Nature has planted its roots too deeply for that destruction to be attempted with success or desired with wisdom. However, the man or woman who aspires to the highest cannot let it stay ungrown and benefit from its finest fruits. He should nurture it, purify it, exalt it, and spiritualize it. He should direct it toward his best self, his Overself, aspiring and yearning. And when it comes back to him in the blessed form of Grace, he should be ready and fit to receive it. Loved mixed with the sense of intimacy, or with the emotion of personal companionship, is what most people take to be love itself. They have not experienced it as it is, unmixed with anything else. Yet if its adulterated forms give them so much satisfying feeling, how much more could they get from seeking it at its source, pure and intense! Passion, with its savage insistencies and appeasements, its animalist intrusion, has no place in this serene, tender affection which unites their minds—the hushed peace, the mesmeric strangeness, and the golden felicity of this mood. #RandolphHarris 1 of 20

It is by trial and error, reflection and experience, that the paradoxical art of loving without becoming possessive, of being affectionate without becoming attached, of accepting outward attachments with inward detachment, is learnt, and this applies to family. What do you say after you say hello? This childlike question, so apparently artless and free of the profundity expected of scientific inquiry, really contains within itself all the basic questions of human living and all the fundamental problems of the social sciences. It is the question that babies “ask” themselves, that children learn to accept corrupted answers to, that teenagers ask each other and their advisors, that grownups evade by accepting the corrupted answers of their betters, and that wise old philosophers write books about without ever finding answer. It contains the primal question of social psychiatry: Why do people like to be liked? Its answer is the answer is the response posed by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: war or peace, famine or plenty, pestilence or health, death or life. Since most go through life without every finding the aster to the question which precedes it: How do you say hello? it is no wonder that few people find the answer in their lifetimes. #RandolphHarris 2 of 20

To say hello rightly is to see the other person, to be aware of him as a phenomenon, to happen to him and to be ready for him to happen to you. Perhaps the people who show this ability to the highest degree are the Fiji Islanders, for one of the rare jewels of the World is the genuine Fijian smile. It starts slowly, it illuminates the whole face, it rests there long enough to be clearly recognized and to recognize clearly, and it fades with secret slowness as it passes by. It can be matched elsewhere only by the smiles of an uncorrupted mothers and infant greeting each other, and, in Western countries, by a certain kind of open personality. To say Hello, you first get rid of all the trash which has accumulated in your head ever since you came home from the maternity ward, and then you recognize that this particular Hello will never happen again. It may take years to learn how to do this. To say Hello back, you get rid of all the trash in your head and see that there is somebody standing there or walking by, waiting for you to say Hello back. It may take years to learn how to do that. After you say Hello, you get rid of all the trash that is coming back into your head; all the after-burns of the grievances you have experienced and all the reach-backs of all the troubles you were planning to get into. Then you will be speechless and will not have anything to say. After more years of practice, you might think of something worth saying. #RandolphHarris 3 of 20

The way people speak who are learning to say Hello is called “Martian,” to distinguish it from everyday Earth-talk, which, as history shows from the earliest recorded times in Egypt and Babylonia to the present, has led to wars, famines, pestilence, and death; and, in the survivours, to a certain amount of mental confusion. It is hoped that in the long run, Martian, properly learned and properly taught, will help to eliminate these plagues. Martian, for example, is the language of dreams, which show things they way they really are. During these same years when social Darwinism was under increasingly strong criticism among social theorists, it was being revived in a somewhat new guise in the literature of the eugenics movement. Accompanied by a flood of valuable genetic research carried on by physicians and biologists, eugenics seemed not so much a social philosophy as a science; but in the minds of most of its advocates it had serious consequences for social thought. The theory of natural selection, which had assumed the transmission of parental variations, hard greatly stimulated the study of heredity. Popular credulity about the scope and variety of hereditary traits had been almost boundless. Darwin’s cousin, Francis Galton, had laid the foundations of the eugenics movement and coined its name during the years when Darwinism was being sold to the public. #RandolphHarris 4 of 20

In the United States of America, Richard Dugdale had published in 1877 his study of The Jukes, which although its author gave more credit to environmental factors than did many later eugenists, had nevertheless offered support to the common view that disease, pauperism, and immorality are largely controlled by inheritance. While Galton’s first inquiries into heredity—Hereditary Genius (1869), Inquiries into Human Faculty (1883), and National Inheritance (1889)—had been received here with much acclaim, it was not until the turn of the century that the eugenics movement took organized form, first in England and then in the United States of America. Eugenics then grew with such great rapidity that by 1915 it had reached the dimensions of a fad. While eugenics has never since been so widely discussed, it has proved to be the most enduring aspect of social Darwinism. At the turn of the century, there was a notable rise of interest in the social significance of hereditary characteristics. The Nation Conference on Race Betterment in 1914 showed how thoroughly the eugenic ideal had made its way into the medical profession, the colleges, social work, and charitable organizations. The ideas of the movement began to receive practical application in 1907, when Indiana became the first state to adopt a sterilization law; by 1915 twelve states had passed similar measures. #RandolphHarris 5 of 20

Doubtless the paid urbanization of American life, which created great slums in which were massed the diseased, the deficient, and the demented, had much to do with the rise of eugenics. The movement was also favoured by a growing interest in philanthropy and increasing endowments for the hospitals and charities and appropriations for public health. Especially stimulating the study of mental disease and deficiency was the rapid expansion of American psychiatry and social workers, it was easy to confuse the rising mass of known cases with a real increase. The influx of a large immigrant population from peasant countries of central and southern Europe, hard to assimilate because of rustic habits and language barriers, gave colour to the notion that immigration was lowering the standard of America intelligence; at least so it seemed to nativists who assumed that a glib command of English is a natural criterion of intellectual capacity. The apparent economic deceleration at the end of the century was also seen by many observers as the beginning of a national decline; and it was in accordance with the habits of a Darwinized era to find in this apparent social decline a biological deterioration associated with the disappearance of “the American type.” #RandolphHarris 6 of 20

The Eugenist believes that no other single factor in determining social conditions and practices approaches in importance that of racial structural integrity and sanity. Early eugenists tacitly accepted that identification of the “fit” with the upper classes, and the “unfit” with the lower that had been characteristic of the older social Darwinism. Their warnings about the multiplication of morons at the lower end of the social scale, and their habit of speaking of the “fit” as if they were all native, well-to-do, college-trained citizens, sustained the old belief that the poor are held down by biological deficiency instead of environmental conditions. Their almost exclusive focus upon the physical and medical aspects of human life helped to distract public attention from the broad problems of social welfare. They were also in large part responsible for the emphasis upon preserving the “racial stock” as a means of national salvation—an emphasis so congenial to militant nationalist like Theodore Roosevelt. They differed, however, from earlier social Darwinists in that they failed to draw sweeping laissez-faire conclusions; indeed a part of their own program depended upon state action. Still, they were almost equally conservative in their general bias; and so authoritative did their biological data seem that they were convincing to me like E.A. Ross, who had thoroughly repudiated Spencerian individualism. #RandolphHarris 7 of 20

The social preconceptions of Sir Francis Galton were not seriously questioned by the early eugenists; and Galton, like Bowen, Summer, and Arthur Latham Perry, had postulated the free competitive order in which awards are distributed according to ability. He was convinced “that men who achieve eminence, and those who are naturally capable, are, to a large extent, identical.” “If a man is gifted with vast intellectual ability, eagerness to work, and power of working,” he added, “I cannot comprehend how such a man should be repressed.” Galton insisted that “social hindrances” cannot prevent men of high ability from becoming eminent, and, on the other hand, that “social advantages are incompetent to give that status to a man of moder ability.” When he estimated that heredity accounts for nine-tenths of a man’s capacity, Karl Pearson set the tone of eugenics on this point. Henry Goddard, because of his investigation of the Kallikaks, concluded that feeble-mindedness is “largely responsible” for paupers as well as criminals, prostitutes, and drunkards. David Starr Jordan declared that “poverty, dirt and crime” could be ascribed to poor human material, and added, “It is not the strength of the strong but the weakness of the weak which engenders exploitation and tyranny.” #RandolphHarris 8 of 20

Lewellys F. Barker, a distinguished physician, suggested that the decline and fall of nations could be explained through the relative fertility of the fit and unfit elements. Charles B. Davenport, the leader of American eugenics, challenged the environmentalist assumptions which dominated current social practice, and argued that “the greatest need of the day for progress of social science is additional precise data as to the unit characteristic of man and their methods of inheritance.” Edward Lee Thorndike did much to spread among educators the eugenists’ idea of inherited mental capacity. Thorndike believed that men’s absolute achievements can be affected by environment and training, but that their relative achievements, their comparative performances in rivalry with each other, can be accounted for by original capacity. Fundamentally it is the soundness and rationality of the racial stock that creates the environment and not vice versa. “There is no certain and economical way to improve man’s environment as to improve his nature.” For education policy this view demanded the development of the intellectual faculties of the few who have outstanding abilities, and giving limited vocational training to the mediocre. #RandolphHarris 9 of 20

The consequences for social policy of the eugenic point of view were treated at some length by Popenoe and Johnson in their popular textbook, Applied Eugenics. Among the reforms they favoured were large inheritance taxes, the back-to-the farm movement, the abolition of child labour, and compulsory education. Rural living would counteract the dysgenic effect of urban society. The abolition of child labour would cause the poor to restrict their breeding. Compulsory education would have the same effect by making the child an expense to its parents; but it should not be supplemented by subsidies to children of the poor in form of free lunches, free textbooks, or other benefits that would lower the cost of childcare. The authors opposed minimum-wage legislation and trade unions on the ground that both favoured inferior workmen and penalized the superior by fixing wages in industry without regard to individual merit. They also opposed socialism for its belief in the benefits that would flow from environmental changes and for its faith in human equality; but they did break with individualism in so far as eugenics sought a social end requiring some individual subordination. When Alleyne Ireland, a noted critic of democracy, wrote in the Journal of Heredity that Weismann’s germ-plasm theory sapped the intellectual foundations of democracy by ruling out the possibility that the inferior could be improved from generation to generation by education and training, he was immediately challenged by biologists who saw no inevitable contradiction between natural inequality and democratic government. #RandolphHarris 10 of 20

The concept of ostracism as the basis of repression could lead to the rather hopeless view that every society can dehumanize and deform man in whatever way it likes because every society can always threaten him with ostracism. However, to assume this would mean to forget another fact. Man is not only a member of society, but he is also a member of humanity. While man is afraid of complete isolation from his social group, he is also afraid of being isolated from humanity which is inside him and which is represented by his conscience and his reason. To be completely inhuman is frightening, even when a whole society has adopted inhuman norms of behaviour. The more human a society is, the less need is there for the individual to choose between isolation from society or from humanity. The greater the conflict between the social aims and human aims, the more is the individual torn between the two dangerous poles of isolation. To that degree which a person—because of his own intellectual and spiritual development—feel his solidarity with humanity, can he tolerate social ostracism, and vice versa. If only his material needs are satisfied, thus guaranteeing his psychological survival, but not those needs and facilities which are specifically human—love, tenderness, reason, joy, etcetera, the man does not function properly. #RandolphHarris 11 of 20

Indeed, since he is also a terrestrial being, man needs first to satisfy his material wants; but his history is a record of the search for and expression of his transsurvival needs, such as in painting and sculpture, in myth and drama, in music and dance. Religion was almost the only system which incorporated these aspects of human existence. A while ago, a person who has been a member of the Church for many years asked me, “Why do I need Jesus Christ?” I keep the commandment; I am a good person. Why do I need a Saviour?” This member’s failure to understand this most fundamental part of our doctrine, this foundational element of the plan of salvation, took my breathe away. This is a good message for many to understand. There is this small matter of death. I assume you do not want your death to be your final status, and without Jesus Christ there would be no resurrection. Also, Christ teaches the importance of forgiveness and how cleansing of sin is possible only through the Saviour’s atoning grace. Many people believe in God and a postmortal existence but assume that because God loves us, it does not matter so much what we do or do not do; He just takes care of things. #RandolphHarris 12 of 20

However, doing things the way the Father has planned offers us an essential mortal experience. By “mortal experience,” I mean choosing our course “tasting the bitter, that we might know to prize the good,” reports Moses 6.55; learning, repenting, and growing, becoming beings capable of acting for ourselves rather than simply being “acting upon,” reports 2 Nephi 2.13; and ultimately overcoming evil and demonstrating our desire and ability to live a celestial law. This requires a knowledge of good and evil on our part, with capacity and opportunity to choose between the two. And it requires accountability for choices made—otherwise they are not really choices. Choice, in turn, requires law, or predictable outcomes. We must be able by a particular outcome or result—and by the opposite choice create the opposite outcome. If actions do not have fixed consequences, then one has no control over outcomes, and choice is meaningless. Using justice as a synonym for law, Alma states, “Now the work of justice [that is, the operation of law] [cannot] be destroyed; if so, God would cease to be God” reports Alma 42.13. It is His perfect understanding and use of law—or in other words, His justice—that gives God His power. We need the justice of God, a system of fixed and immutable laws that He Himself abides by and employes, so that we can have and exercise agency. This justice is the foundation of our freedom to act and is our only path to ultimate happiness. #RandolphHarris 13 of 20

One must also accept the fact that one is a living being driven by needs and interests, and drop the illusion that one’s mind operates with a well-greased, machinelike perfection. In this process, as in so many others thoroughness in penetrating to one or another implication counts more than completeness. The implications that are missed will turn up at some later time when one is perhaps more ready to see them. Continuity of work is likely to be disturbed also by causes outside a person’s control. He mut expect interruptions because he does not live in an experimental vacuum. Any number of daily experiences will encroach upon his thinking, some of them perhaps eliciting emotional responses that call for immediate clarification. Suppose, for instance, our friend Clare had lost her job while she was working at the problem of her dependency, or that she had assumed a new position requiring more initiative, assertion, and leadership. In either case other problems than her dependency would have stepped into the foreground. All anyone can do in such circumstances is to take these interruptions in his stride and to deal with the problems arising as best he can. He may just as well, however, have experiences that help him with the problem at hand. Thus, her boyfriend Peter’s breaking of the relationship certainly stimulated Clare to do further analytical work at her problem. #RandolphHarris 14 of 20

Overall, there is no need to worry too much about outside interferences. I have found in working with patients that even decisive outside events deflect the course of analysis only for a short while. Rather swiftly, and often without knowing it, the patient swings back to the problem on which he was working, resuming it sometimes at exactly the point where he had left it. We need not resort to any mysterious explanation for this occurrence, such as an assumption that that problem appeals more to the patient than happenings in the outside World. It is more likely that since most experiences elicit several responses, that one which is closet to the problem at hand will touch him most deeply and thereby lead him to retrieve the thread he was about to abandon. The fact these remarks have emphasized subjective factors rather than presenting clear-cut directions may recall the criticism raised against analysis that it is more an artistic than a scientific procedure. A discussion of this argument would lead us too far astray because it would involve a philosophical clarification of terms. What counts here is a practical consideration. #RandolphHarris 15 of 20

If analysis is called an artistic activity this would suggest to many people that one must be especially gifted to undertake it. Naturally, our endowments differ. And just as some people are particularly skillful in mechanical matters or have a particularly clear vision for politics, others have a special flair for psychological thinking. Yet what really matters is not an enigmatic artistic endowment but a strictly definable factor—which is one’s interest or incentive. This remains a subjective factor, but it is not the decisive one for most of the things we do? What matters is the spirit and not the rules. “The which is governed by law is also preserved by law and perfected and sanctified by the same,” reports Doctrine and Covenants 88.34. However, we must admit that none of us has always and unfailingly been “governed by law.” And we really cannot look to the law or justice to preserve and perfect us when we have broken the law. “And men are instructed sufficiently that they know good from evil. And the law is given unto me. And by the law no flesh is justified; or, by the law men are cut off. Yea, by the temporal law they were cut off; and also, by the spiritual law they perish from that which is good, and become miserable forever,” reports 2 Nephi 2.5. #RandolphHarris 16 of 20

So, being just but also being motivated by love, our Heavenly Father created mercy. He did this by offering His Only Begotten Son as propitiation for our sin, a sinless Being who could, with His Atonement, satisfy justice for us, putting us right with the law so that it is once again supporting and preserving us, not condemning us. “And now, the plan of mercy could not be brought about except an atonement should be made; therefore God Himself atoneth for the sins of the World, to bring about the plan of mercy, to appease the demands of justice, that God might be perfect, just God, and a merciful God. However, there is also a law given, and a punishment [or consequence] affixed, and a repentance granted; which repentance, mercy, claimeth; otherwise, justice claimeth the creature and executeth the law, and the law inflicteth the punishment; if not so, the works of justice would be destroyed, and God would cease to be God. However, God creaseth not to be God, and mercy claimeth the penitent, and mercy cometh because of the atonement,” reports Alma 42.15, 22.23. The penitent, of course, are those who take responsibility and accept His mercy by repenting. Or, in other words, repenting is what we do to claim the gracious gift of forgiveness that a just Father in Heaven can offer us because His Beloved Son atoned for our sins. #RandolphHarris 17 of 20

We must also learn to prize others in a total, rather than a conditional way. Babies to not accept certain feelings in their parents and disapprove of others. They feel an unconditional positive regard for their parents. This is an outgoing, optimistic feeling without reservation and without evaluations. It means not making judgments. I believe that when this nonevalutative prizing is present in the encounter between parent and child, or others, constructive change and development is more likely to occur. Certain one does not need to be a professional to experience this attitude. The best of parents show this in abundance, while others do not. A friend of mine, a therapist in private practice on the east coast, illustrates this very well in a letter in which he tells me he is learning about parents. He says: “I am beginning to feel that they key to human being is the attitudes with which the parents have regarded him. If the child was lucky enough to have parents who have felt proud of him, wanted him, wanted him just as he was, exactly as he was, this child grows into adulthood with self-confidence, self-esteem; he goes forth in life feeling sure of himself, strong, able to lick what confronts him. Franklin Delano Roosevelt is an example… ‘my friends…’ He could not imagine anyone thinking otherwise. He could not imagine anyone thinking otherwise. He had two adoring parents. He was like a pampered dog who has never known rejection or harshness.  #RandolphHarris 18 of 20

“Even if you should kick him, he’ll come right back at you, his tail frisker than ever, thinking you’re playing a game with him and wanting more. The animal cannot imagine anyone disapproving or disliking him. Just as unconditional regard and love was poured into him, he has it now to give out. If a child is lucky enough to grow up in this unconditionally accepting atmosphere, he emerges as strong and sure and he can approach life and its vicissitudes with courage and confidence, with zest and joy of expectation.”  However, the parents who like their children—if. They would like them if they were changed, altered, different; if they were smarter or if they were better, or if, if, if. The offspring of these parents have trouble because they never had feelings of acceptance. These parents do not really like these children; they would like them if they were like someone else. When you come down to the fundamental, the parent feels: “I do not like this child, this child before me.” They do not say that. If parents did, I am beginning to believe that it would be better for all concerned. It would not leave such horrible ravages on these unaccepted children. It is never done that cruelly. “If you were a nice boy and did this, that and the other thing, then we would all love you.” I am coming to believe that children brought up by parents who would like them “if” are never quite right. They grow up assuming that their parents are right and that they are wrong; that somehow or other they are at fault; and even worse, very frequently they feel they are stupid, inadequate, inferior. #RandolphHarris 19 of 20

This is an excellent contrast between an unconditional positive regard and a conditional regard. I believe it holds as true for counselors as for parents. Our experiencing is always of some meaningful content, such as a person’s face, or the sound of a voice, or the recollection of someone’s acts. This content stands forth as figure in one’s field of awareness. Another basic characteristic of experiencing is that it always has some emotional quality. Thus, my memory of my father is accompanied by feelings of warmth, nostalgia, and sometimes laugher as I recall some of his conversation. My perception of a lovely woman is accompanied by aesthetic and sensual feelings. “Unemotional” experiencing is an outcome of the repression of affect and represents an effort on the part of the unemotional person to imitate a camera or tape recorder. Remember parents, raise your children to love America, to be patriotic, to love God and Jesus Christ, to honour law and order, and treat all people, property and living beings with dignity. Our goal is to leave things better than we received them. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic, for which it stands, One Nation, under God, indivisible with Liberty, and Justic for all. Father of Peace, please grant us Thy peace, please Grant us Thy blessing, Thy blessing of peace. Wherever they be, please great America peace; Merciful One, Thou art He who grantest Thy people peace. O may we see our children, our children, and their children Devoted to the Lord, to the scripture—yea, please grant America peace. Thou wondrous Counsellor, mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace! #RandolphHarris 20 of 20

Ascent at Montelena

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(916) 302-8760

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