I was coming to understand something of the greatest importance: all stories were part of one great story, the story of who we are. I had not seen it so clearly before, but now it was so clear that it thrilled me. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul, and with all your strength. And teach your children diligently, and talk with them when you sit in your houses. Because another great principle of family life is that it is desirable for disciplinary measure to be reserved for things that have been done and not be used for things that have been said. Many parents express a concern about respect at this point, saying, “If we let our children say anything they please to us, they will not have any respect of us.” However, when this thought is examined, the idea of forcing our children to be dishonest with us by disciplinary means seems a rather strange way to help our children consider us worthy of high regard. There are too many instances of quiet, studious, industrious, and respectful young men or women who have spent many years bottling up anger and other feelings and who at a crisis point in their lives take up a harsh attitude and alienate those around them or act out and start bullying to place a very high value on respect won this way. Fortunate indeed is the child who has learned through experience that one can tell one’s parents how one really feels without living in fear of retribution. #RandolphHarris 1 of 15

Because in each of us, what we much realize, is the full story of who we are. Therefore, one is fortunate, too, if one has learned that one can trust one’s parents to be as honest with one. Out of this kind of relationship will grow the genuine mutual respect and love that can last a lifetime. A quality of relaxed good humor seems to accompany the disciplinary efforts of many successful parents. “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee,” reports Exodus 20.12.  For such parents the children’s infractions of the rules and the punishment meted out does not become the deadly serious business that it does in many households. It is likely that the quality in the parents that makes this attitude possible is their own self-acceptance. When the child goes against the rules, they do not feel that their worth as persons or as parent is threatened, so they do something that will help the child remember in the future. The commandment to honor our parents has strands that run through the entire fabric of the gospel. It is inherent in our relationship to God our Father. It embraces the divine destiny of the children of God. This commandment relates to the government of the family, which is patterned after the government of Heaven. The commandment to honor our parents echoes the sacred spirit of family relationships in which—at their best—we have sublime expressions of Heavenly love and care for one another. #RandolphHarris 2 of 15

When we realize that our greatest expressions of joy or pain in mortality come from the members of our families, we sense the importance of these relationships. In this day, failing to honor our parents is not a capital crime in any country of which I am aware. However, the divine direction to honor our father and our mothers has never been revoked. It is important that parents to not feel like bad parents, and so they do not give the child the feeling that he or she is a bad seed. Imagine, for example, if he had been relaxed about it, how Leo Pete’s father could have laughed, even with a five-year-old, when he found him urinating against the church. And still he could have gotten the message across that it would be wise to be more discreet in the selection of a site for the sake of the shockable ladies who might be watching. The relaxed good humor being described does not, of course, include hostile ridicule and sarcasm, which are very destructive to children. There would be little humor and nothing salutary, for example, in the comment of a father who would say to his son in from of the boy’s friends, “If you were more intelligent, you would have remembered to take the rubbish out this morning.” To young people, honoring parents is appropriately understood to focus on obedience, respect, and emulation of righteous parents. “Children, obey your parents in all things [I believe he meant all righteous things]: for this is well pleasing to our Lord,” reports Colossians 3.20. #RandolphHarris 3 of 15

One factor that seems to underlie a great many problems in families is the tendency of parents to underrate children’s abilities in the area of relationships. Perhaps we use the idea that they could not possibly understand as another device to maintain some emotional distance between ourselves and them because of our fear of love and its risks. In any case, our children are more perceptive than we think they are. When we attempt to conceal emotions from them, we fool our children much less than we think we do. When we resent them, for example, and try to hide our resentment from them, we show it in some more subtle way and they get the message. And the subtlety makes it much more difficult for them to handle than our anger. Our children are also much tougher than we think they are, and they can handle our negative feelings better than we think they can. Children do not need to be handled with kid gloves. Particularly, if we do not have to pretend that we are perfect, we can make a lot of mistake in our dealings with our children and they can survive quite well. If we can have a genuine relationship with them in which we are not too frightened to express our love, our anger, and our others feelings, and if we can admit it when we make mistake, our children will understand, accept, and feel secure because it will have the ring of reality; because they will know that they, too, have the same feelings. #RandolphHarris 4 of 15

If one truly honors one’s parents, one will seek to emulate their best characteristics and to fulfill their highest aspirations for us. No gift purchased from a store can begin to match in value to parents some simple, sincere words of appreciation. Nothing we could give them would be more prized than righteous living for each youngster. Our children can also understand our feelings better than we think they can. When we are discouraged or upset about something, we often assume that our children could not understand. And we may feel that we want to protect the from some of the problems and worries that beset us. If they knew what was going on and why they tension exists within the family, since they sense that something is wrong, more often than not even our younger children would understand and would feel much better. If, for example, a family is in financial difficulties, there is likely to be a charged atmosphere throughout the hoe no matter how hard the parents try to conceal the fact from the children. If the children are not told what is going on, they can only guess about the cause of the tension. Their guesses will most likely be that something is wrong between family members. They may feel that the parents do not love each other any more and are going to get a divorce, as some of the others parents on the block have done. Or they may even imagine that they have dome something to create all the tension that nobody wants to talk about. #RandolphHarris 5 of 15

If we will simply give them facts and feelings with which to work, our children will understand much better than we think they can. It may even be a relief to them to discover that parents are human, too, and also have their worries and problems! Everything that has been said here about family life points to the importance of the maturity of parents. If parents are able to be emotionally honest and direct with their children, if they can express their love in deeply satisfying ways, despite the risks of being hurt that such love always involves, families will tend to be more healthy. However, parents, too, have been reared in families. And, they, like everyone else, have been hurt in the past and have in varying degrees been emotionally crippled in the ability to accept themselves and in their freedom to express love, so the tendency exists for parents to react to their children in ways that perpetuate the fear of love from one generation to the next. Is there an any escape from this social inheritance?  Fortunately, it is possible for individuals, whether they are parents or not, who long for more satisfying experiences of love to gain more self-acceptance and self-awareness. It is a matter of learning to value ourselves. The Lord of All Creation has restored us. It must have been for our good that we have known such bitterness…we who live thank you, as we do now, the father will tell the children of your faithfulness. #RandolphHarris 6 of 15

Jesus and the New Testament writers are aware of the psychological and sociological factors which determine human existence. They are keenly aware of the universal and inescapable dominion of sin over this World, of the demonic splits in the souls of people, which produce insanity and bodily destruction; of the economic and spiritual misery of the masses. However, there awareness of these factors, which have become so decisive for our description of mortal’s predicament, does not prevent them from calling the sinners sinners. Understanding does not replace judging. We understand more and better than many generations before us. However, our immensely increased insight into the condition of human existence should not undercut our courage to call wrong wrong. Sinners are seriously called sinners in the same way the righteous one are seriously called righteous. If we tried to show that righteous one’s are not truly righteous, we would be missing something in our spirit. When our children do what they are supposed to do, they have no reason to feel that they have done anything wrong, and nor does their father or mother tell the so because good behavior is encouraged. The child’s righteousness is not questioned. Such righteousness is not easy to attain. Much self-control, hard discipline, and continuous self-observation is needed. Therefore, we should not despise righteous ones. #RandolphHarris 7 of 15

Human attitudes are manifold. Some mortals take a keen interest in certain objects and in other mortals and actually think more about them than they think of themselves. They do not so much say I or think I as they do I. They take an interest, they do not give of themselves. They may manipulate or merely study, and unlike mortals of the I-I type they may be good scholars; but they lack devotion. This I-It tendency is so familiar that little need be said about it, except that it is a tendency that rarely consumes a mortal’s whole life. Those who see a large part of humanity—their enemies, of course—as mortals of this type, have succumbed to demonology. This is merely one of the varieties of mortal’s experience and much more widespread in all ages as a tendency and much rarer as a pure type in our own time than the Manichaeans fancy. There are mortals who hardly have an I at all. Nor are all of them of one kind. Some inhabit Worlds in which objects loom large. They are not merely interested in some thing or subject, but the object of their interest dominates their lives. They are apt to be great scholars of extraordinary erudition, with no time for themselves, with no time to have a self. #RandolphHarris 8 of 15

They study without experiencing: they have no time for experience, which would smack of subjectivity if not frivolity. They are objective and immensely serious. They have no time for humor. They study without any thought of use. What they study is an end in itself for them. They are devoted to their subject, and the notion of using it is a blasphemy and sacrilege that is not likely to occur to them. For all that, their subject is no subject in its own right, like a person. It has no subjectivity. It does not speak to them. It is a subject one has chosen to study—one of them subjects that one may legitimately choose, and there may be others working on the same subject, possibly on a slightly different aspect of it, and one respects them insofar as they, too, have no selves and are objective. Here we have a community of solid scholars—so solid that there is no room at the center for any core. Theirs is the World of It-It. There are other ways of having no I. There are mortals who never speak a sentence of which I is Lord, but nobody could call them objective. At the center of their World is We. The contents of this We can vary greatly. However, this is an orientation in which I does not exist, and You and It and He and She are only shadows. One type of this sort could be called We-We. Theirs is a sheltered, childish World in which no individuality has yet emerged. #RandolphHarris 9 of 15

In pursuing this integral quest, one has the satisfaction of knowing that they are pursuing the only quest which can bring them to a truth which is all-embracing and all-explaining. The fact that so few have ventured on this quest offers no indication of what will happen in the future. If humankind could take any other way to its own self-fulfillment, this situation might remain. However, there is no other way. For one there must exist something more than merely being a member of the herd; there must be a higher direction leading to truth to satisfy the mind, to a nobler character to satisfy the conscience, to refined beautiful and gentler moods inspired by the arts, music, literature, and reverence. What we see and think is only an awareness gleaned by the shallower part of oneself. There is one’s deeper being—indeed, the term “part” is quite inapplicable here—one’s real essence, the greater Consciousness from which thoughts and emotion emerge for their limited lives. To find and know this is a duty to which one must one day come. The search for truth becomes, for such a person, neither a spare-time hobby nor an intellectual curiosity, but a driving moral compulsion. The more deeply we understand the nature of mortals, the more reliably shall we understand the duty of mortals. The risk of entering such a spiritual adventure may be quite formidable, but the risks of not entering it are unquestionably frightful. For the probabilities of wrong action and mistaken choice will still remain, with the painful karmic aftermath. #RandolphHarris 10 of 15

The mortal who fails to touch the Overself’s beauty in this life and under this pressure can hardly be blameworthy, but the mortal who fails to try to touch it, is blameworthy. Nobody really knows how to live correctly unless one knows the higher laws governing life itself. Whether on college campus or life’s school, the higher laws have to be learnt at some time, in some birth—whether by instruction when young or by experience when older. The fact of their existence may be disregarded at our own peril. Mortals can come into the personal knowledge that there is this unseen power out of which the whole Universe is being derived, including oneself. However, neither the animal nor the plant can come into this knowledge. Here we see what evolution means and why it is necessary. We find a similar truth in the great literature of the World. Whether one’s native speech is French or Urdu or Mandarin Chinese or any other, the literature of the World—of only in translation—is open to us all. We never think of avoiding reading Goethe because he is German, or that Shakespeare is confined to Britain, or that the Koans are the property only of the Japanese. The more deeply authors penetrate into the depths of human experience the more they speak the language of all humanity. They then give solace and enhancement to us all. #RandolphHarris 11 of 15

This is another definition of a classic: a writing that interprets our own deepest symbols and myths. Hence a classic passes on from ancient Homer, say, to all of us no matter how many centuries later we may live and no matter what nationality we may be. The drama, Peer Gynt, for example, is entirely about the questions, “What is my Self?,” surely the deepest puzzle of human beings in whatever country. When Ibsen wrote the drama he thought his play would not be understood outside Scandinavia. However, to his surprise he found that Peer was understood wherever human beings were conscious of themselves, wherever human beings asked, “Where is myself?”; and hence Peer was claimed everywhere as a national prototype. Even in Japan it was stated that Peer Gynt is typically Japanese. George Bernard Shaw wrote that “The universality of Ibsen (and his grip upon humanity) makes his plays come home to all nations, and Peer Gynt is as good a Frenchman as a Norwegian.” There is on my desk a copy of the book of poems by the contemporary Russian poet, Yevgeny Yevtushenko. Opening the book at random I found these lines, “The visions of malapaga those of Peer Gynt, seem, all of them, now to apply to me.” The reason Peer Gynt is a character for all nations is that the myth and the drama reflect on a profound level the problems, the loves, the yearnings, the sorrows, the ultimate discoveries of one human being who stands for all human beings. #RandolphHarris 12 of 15

After reading it, we arise from our chairs feeling deeply understood; our loneliness is assuaged and our hearts feel at home again. Such a classic gives us a sense of joy and serenity—which after all is our definition of beauty. Poetry is a particular form of art which gives us another aspect of beauty in our common human language. If we ask why such and such a word in a poem is in such and such a place and if there is an answer, either the poem is not of the highest order or else the reader has understood nothing of it. If one can rightly say that the word is where it is in order to express a particular idea, or for the sake of a grammatical connection, or for the sake of the rhyme or alliteration, or to complete the line, or to give a certain color, or even for a combination of several reasons of this kind, there has been true inspiration. In the case of a really beautiful poem the only answer is that the word is there because it is suitable that is should be. The proof of this suitability is that it is there and that the poem is beautiful. The poem is beautiful, that is to say the reader does not wish it other than it is. It is in this way that art imitates the beauty of the World. This suitability of things, beings, and events consists only in this, that they exist and that we should not wish that they did not exist or that they had been different. Such a wish would be an impiety toward our universal country, a lack of the love of the Stoics. We are so constituted that this love is in fact possible; and it is this possibility of which the name is the beauty of the World. #RandolphHarris 13 of 15

One may ask one’s self, “Why is it that so many of the great classics in human history are in poetry?”  Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey, Lucretius’s The Nature of Things, Aeschylus’s Agamemnon, Vergil’s Aeneid, Shakespeare’s dramas, Goethe’s Faust are all in poetry. One might think the prose would be more flexible, and therefore enable the writer to range more widely than in poetry. However no: depth rather than flexibility is what these authors seek, and poetry requires a deeper level of communication. “Why these things rather than others?” never has any answer, because the World is devoid of finality. The absence of finality is the reign of necessity. Things have causes and not ends. Those who think to discern special designs of Providence are like professors who give themselves up to what they call the explanation of the text, at the expense of a beautiful poem. In art, the equivalent of this reign of necessity is the resistance of matter and arbitrary rules. Rhyme imposes upon the poet a direction in one’s choice of words which is absolutely unrelated to the sequence of ideas. Its function is poetry is perhaps analogous to that of affliction in our lives. Affliction forces us to feel with all our souls the absence of finality. When we earnestly, heartily, firmly, and sincerely seek to learn the gospel of Jesus Christ and teach it to one another, these teachings may transform our hearts. #RandolphHarris 14 of 15

This transformation will bring us a more happy, productive, and healthy life and help us to maintain an eternal perspective. If we do so, I promise that the influence of the Holy Ghost will bring truth to our heart and mind and will bear witness of it, teaching all things. If the soul is set in the direction of love, the more we contemplate necessity, the more closely we press its metallic cold and hardness directly to our very flesh, the nearer we approach to the beauty of the World. That is what Job experienced. It was not because he was so honest in his suffering, because we would not entertain any thought that might impair its truth, that God came down to reveal the beauty of the World to him. Our actions must reflect what we learn and teach. We need to show our beliefs through the way we live. The best teacher is a good role model. Teaching something that we truly live can make a difference in the hearts of those we teach. If we desire people, whether that they be family or not, to joyfully treasure up the scriptures and teaching of living apostles and prophets of our day, they need to see our souls delighting in them. Keep living a worthy life, be a good example to what you believe, and draw closer to our Savior, Jesus Christ. He knows and understands our deep sorrows and pains, and he will bless your efforts and dedication. #RandolphHarris 15 of 15