Love is one of the most powerful human impulses. We learn to love because God wants us to, as love is a power capable of uniting people. Love is an emotional experience of a variety of attempts to measure and distinguish between various kinds of beneficial sentiments. It is an appreciation of the socially desirable characteristics of another. Love is a sense of attachment to a person, the desire to draw close and be with the other; caring, concern for the welfare of the other; and intimacy, the desire for close and confidential communication with the other. When love turns to commitment, the sky becomes bluer, the days become sweeter, and most of all our respect for ourselves improves. God gives us the opportunity to show us what we love. Commitment can be viewed both as a process and as a state of mind. It involves the intention and an awareness of a moral obligation to remain in a relationship and to continue the same patterns of exchange that have come to characterize dependencies between the members of a pair. This involves both coming to terms with or becoming satisfied with the pattern of outcomes associated with the relationship and progressively closing off considerations of patterns of rewards that might be anticipated from alternative relationships. #RandolphHarris 1 of 5

Like self-disclosure, commitment not only increases outcomes and resulting attraction, but are also inherent in the development of power within a relationship. This helps explain why persons tend, at least in the early phase of a relationship, not to reveal a level of commitment in excess of their partner’s. To do so might not only depreciate in the eyes of the outcomes one is receiving, but, because commitment involves the giving up of potential alternatives, thus reducing a person’s power, until trust is established person are wary lest such a voluntary reduction in person invite exploitation. The more committed may be exploited, as explained by the principle of least interest. Persons with the least interest in maintaining a relationship; that is, the least committed, generally exercises the greater power. However, as you approach the area of the intimate relationship, you know who you are and what you are looking for. All you need is the willingness to look at yourself in your moments of vulnerability. By doing that you have learned that you are in good company, and that is terrifically liberating. Partners sometimes can reinforce or inflame each other’s patterns of behavior, but your differences in your visions of intimacy can help to sustain the commitment. #RandolphHarris 2 of 5

These include outcomes underlying task bonds that are a product of the symbiotic relation between persons represented in the division of labor that grows up between partners carrying on joint activities; those outcomes related to person bonds experienced vicariously as a result of the merging of selves, as well as the support for the self-concept that each provides the other; outcomes related to crescive bonds. Crescive bonds address later-life relationships and develop over times. They exist when an individual feels bonded or connected to another, when no other individual can be substituted, and when the relationship is expected to be ongoing. These bonds are contingent on interaction that enhances self-esteem, and are investments that each has in a shared future, as well as in the maintenance of a jointly construction social reality of the past; the unique interdependence coupled with reciprocal incapacity that has resulted from the partner’s interlocking roles; the sense of responsibility for each other, as well as for others affected by their relationship, for example, children in a marriage; and finally, the sharing in a depth of communication and a high degree of relaxation in interaction which the security of their relation allows. #RandolphHarris 3 of 5

Love plays a unique part in human life. Emotional security is one aspect that women and men want in relationships. People feel safe with partners who are emotionally available, honest, trustworthy, and authentic. It is important to also love yourself. Love for self should be so strong that one does not need to gain the acceptance of a third party by trying create a false role-identity. The situational demands and opportunities that influence role negotiations include much occurrence as those that encourage or provide an opportunity for a particular kind of role performance. These may be brief and episodic in character, as when the temporary aliment of one partner requires a more solicitous version of the friendship or marital role. It is important to make sure that our actions support our words without any need for excuses. The goal of every meaningful relationship should be to build mutual trustworthiness, not lay the basis for a double standard. When you are honest with your partner it shows that you respect them and being tactful shows that you also love them. However, being brutally honest lacks consideration for the other person’s feelings and can be downright cruel. Your mate needs to feel they can trust you without crushing their feelings. #RandolphHarris 4 of 5

Being reliable is also an important aspect of commitment and trustworthiness. We all have certain responsibilities in our relationship and if we cannot follow through, it is important to explain why not. It is also important to express confidence in your mate. When we are entrusted with someone else’s feelings and they express confidence in us as a person, it makes us want to do the right thing. It means that they feel that we are trustworthy and that they can rely on us. God, hear our prayer, may we find hope in the lights we have kindled on this sacred night, hope in one another and in all who form the work of peace and justice than spans that World. In the heart of every person in this Earth burns the spark of luminous goodness in all hearts there is light. God, open our eyes that we may see the needs of others. Let us not be afraid to defend the weak because of the anger of the strong, nor afraid to defend the poor because the anger of the rich. Show us where love and hope and faith are needed, and use us to bring them to those places. And open our eyes and ears that we may this coming day be able to do some work of peace for thee. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 5 of 5