Love may be liked to a disease in this, that when it is denied a vent in one part, it will certainly break out in another. Yesterday, I was kind of sad because I was lonely. And so I hung out with a few of my neighbors, had a few drinks, and went to a concert, and stood in the front role and smiled and danced and clapped the entire time. I asked my friend to come back to my apartment with me, but she declined because she knew I was drunk. So I got back to my place, took my clothes off and went to bed. Yet, when I woke up this morning, I was sad.

I did not kiss anyone, nor hook up with anyone, nor did I do anything wrong, but I still felt a little blue, like I felt guilty for having a good time. My feelings of guilt have nothing to do with other people in the World suffering. However, there are remarkable differences among people with respect to attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors associated with happiness, and these differences are in part related to our personality and how we were raised. I feel like my parents would be disappointed in me, but in reality, I know they would be happy I went out and had fun because they think I do not enjoy life much.

I am not depressed or anything like that, but I do somewhat have a stressful life and it is rare that I get to have fun without anything going wrong, and last night, everything was perfect, everything went right. I guess the reason I feel bad is because I am in a relationship, and I had fun without the person I am dating, and I wanted my fun moments to be shared with that individual. However, the person I am seeing goes out and has fun all the time without me. And maybe it is the disappointment of my spouse that I am picking up on?

Some might say, why are you even in a relationship with someone who never spends time with you? Well, when you love a person and you two make promises, you tend to want to keep them. And at least I am not being used nor in a dangerous or abusive relationship. Technically, I did absolutely nothing wrong, and the night was perfect, but you were missing and I feel bad. Nonetheless, there is plenty of time to create happy memories together, and there is nothing wrong with me enjoying myself and the company of others sometimes.

Maybe I feel guilty because I know what I wanted to do, but did not? Overall, all I wanted was to hang out with someone, but when some start drinking indecent thoughts tend to slip in our minds. Love frequently dies of time alone—much more frequently of displacement. There is only one perfect flower in the wilderness of Life, Love. The circle of love is complete. It comprehends all, includes all, and binds all together with cords of everlasting unity. I cannot depart from its presence nor wander from its care. My love is complete within me. The love of God binds me to itself, and will not let me go.