Home » Posts tagged 'Sexuality'
Tag Archives: Sexuality
Oh My Goodness, I Am Talking About Myself!

Parents can begin teaching their children to have proper attitudes towards their bodies when they are very young. However, it is not wise or necessary to tell children everything all at once. What is the law of chastity? We are to have pleasures of the flesh only with our spouse to whom we are legally married. No one, male or female, is to have sexual relations before marriage. After marriage, pleasures of the flesh are permitted only with our spouse. “Thou shalt not commit adultery; and he that committeth adultery, and repenteth not, shall by cast out,” reports Doctrine and Covenants 42.24. We have been taught that the law of chastity encompasses more than pleasures of the flesh. Before marriage, do not do anything to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage. Do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, nor touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not allow anyone to do that with you. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body. With sexual functioning firmly established in our culture as something apart from other natural processes, there were gender roles to assign, practices to establish that involve pleasures of the flesh, and restriction to impose of pleasures of the flesh. All were done out of hand by an omnipotent social arbitration that communicated to the individual not only what his or her sexual pattern should be—but what it must be. #RandolphHarris 1 of 20

It was decided—who knows by whom?—that the male was the expert in pleasures of the flesh. Perhaps this decision evolved from man’s historic role as protector and provider. Or it could have derived from a male fear of the unknown or the misunderstood sexual potential of the female. In any event, man was clearly acknowledged as the fount of all sexual knowledge. As adolescents, boys were allowed, even encouraged, to honour their sexuality. “Boys will be boys,” followed by a suggestive snicker or a benign smile, became a popular cliché. After all, they did need experience, did they not? Tacit permission was given to go-do-it, but, of course, to be circumspect. And as long as they remained “gentlemen”—did not talk too much, did not mention names and did not practice on girls they might wish to marry—there was no cause for concern. Woman’s sexual role? This was another matter. During the eighteenth, nineteenth, twentieth, and well into the first quarter of the twenty-first century, the woman’s sexual role was even easier to define. She had none—other than that of seminal receptable. Woman’s sexual responsivity was not only denied, but actually obliterated as a possibility by male arbiters in a chauvinistic society. Everyone knew—or at least all men know, and most women pretended—that “nice” women had no sexual feelings, that respected wives only submitted in the hope of conceiving and that “those woman” who freely responded sexually simply were not the kind you married. #RandolphHarris 2 of 20

Intercourse was woman’s burden and a true gentleman insisted upon the “marital privilege” as infrequently as possible—at least with his wife. And so, while sexual feelings and freedom to react sexually were acknowledged as male prerogatives, these rights were denounced or denied for the female. Typical of the many decades of scientists’ and physicians’ negation of woman’s sexual feelings is a passage from a gynecologic textbook published in the late 1950s. The editor—a male, of course—stated unequivocally that not only were women nonorgasmic, they rarely, if ever, had sexual feelings and certainly little interest in pleasures of the flesh. And he did not even distinguish between “nice” women and the “other kind.” Yet another example of society’s rigidity in the control of woman’s natural sexual function is the fact that more than 90 ninety-five percent of everything that has ever been published on the subject of female sexual response has been written by men, most of whom objectively and all of whom subjectively had not the vaguest idea of what woman’s orgasmic experience is all about. Until almost halfway through the last century, pleasures of the flesh were something that everyone knew the man, after marriage, was going to do to his wife on their wedding night. Not only did the husband believe that the wedding night was committed to his pleasure, but his wife, too, was prepared for duty—with her role exclusively that of sexual servant. #RandolphHarris 3 of 20

The prize of virginity (real or feigned) was to be her sacrificial offering to her new husband. An unruptured hymen was not only accepted as absolute proof of a wife’s sexual innocence but was usually required as a symbol of her sexual ignorance and his sexual prowess. Social mores demanded that her fund of sexual knowledge, her degree of sexual experience and her evidence of sexual interest, if any, were to be defined and controlled by her husband. In short, the price of the intact hymen was assigned to the head of the household. It was for the taking: how, when and where obviously were his responsibility—his sexual responsibility. Our culture had decreed that brides were to be virgins. Therefore, women who has made the fearful mistake of offering this price in prior sexual encounter must do their best on their wedding night to conceal its loss. Yet despite having to play the role of sacrificial lamb at marriage, the virgin bride had one very real advantage over her husband: other than being available, she had no sexual responsibility. Of course, there is the other side of the coin to the virginal bride. The culture also presumed that there was no such thing as a man with little or no sexual experience at marriage—a man who was not a fount of sexual knowledge. So many men who married, having only insignificant, if any, sexual experience, inwardly quaked and outwardly faced the expected expertise—and because of their discomfort, many more wives suffered. #RandolphHarris 4 of 20

Back then to the subject of the husband doing something to his wife on their wedding night. This was sexual responsibility—his to do to her; hers only to be done to. And for generations, we played our culturally assigned sexual roles of expert and virgin; but sexually we hardly prospered. One of the classic ironies of our psychological development is that we often wind up acting like the people we hate most. Fortunately for many, through the dynamics of group therapy process, some are able to see the irony. Unfortunately, many other people never do. Instead, they go through life, cursing an image which they see before their eyes, not realizing that they are actually looking into a mirror. A possible reason for this partial psychological “blindness” is that they are looking outward with only one point of view, their own. However, a person’s own point of view is but one kind of “truth.” Other people’s point of view, especially a group of others, may well be closer to the “real” or objective truth, which no one knows for sure. When a person himself to the possibility that the consensus point of view might be the truth, he creates for himself an opportunity to grow. Yet just as growth cannot come from blindly accepting a group’s points of view either. If someone were to hand-feed you a piece of fruit, there are three things you could do with it: spit it out, swallow it whole, or chew it up and eat it. Should you spit it out, you would be denying yourself whatever benefit the fruit you may have. Should you swallow it whole, you might be making the mistake of ingesting something which is not good for you—the pit, for instance. #RandolphHarris 5 of 20

However, by first chewing on it, tasting and sampling, you can decide if you want to take part of it. So it is with the opinions people feed us. We do ourselves little good by accepting or rejecting them without “chewing” on them. In doing those things, we deny ourselves an opportunity to grow. Growth comes from a synthesis of the two kinds of truth—and the result of a synthesis is neither the thesis (your truth) nor the antithesis (the group’s truth), but an entirely new truth which contains something of both. What most people are at first unwilling to do consciously, but later learn to do in the heat of a discussion, is allow both truths to come together and synthesize into the realization, “Oh my goodness, I am talking about myself.” In that moment, a new “truth” about yourself will be created—a truth which might not be the objective truth, but closer to it. Discovering the unique person you are involves another kind of synthesizing. It is the synthesizing of values. In many men, the dominant value is control, and the antithesis of control is dependency. In order for most men to master their hang-up on control, they have to fully experience its polar opposite. During early infancy, the child is straight, starting off in the first position, I am O.K.—You’re O.K. However, corruption quickly sets in, and he discovers that his O.K. is not a completely undisputed automatic birthright, but depends to some extent on his behaviour, and more particularly on his responses to his mother. In the course of learning his table manners, he may discover that his feeling of unblemished O.K.-ness is granted by her only with certain reservations, and this is wounding. He responds by casting aspersions on her O.K.ness, although when dinner is over, they may kiss and make up. #RandolphHarris 6 of 20

However, the groundwork has already been laid for game-playing, which begins to flower during his toilet training, where he has the upper hand. During mealtimes, he is hungry, and wants something from her; in the bathroom, she wants something from him. At the table, he has to respond to her in a certain way to keep his O.K. grade; now she has to treat him right to keep her O.K. In rare cases, both of them may still be straight, but usually by this time, she is conning him by working his gimmicks just a little, and he is doing the same. By the time he enters school, he has probably learned a few soft games, or perhaps two or three hard ones, or in the worst cases he may already be game-ridden. It depends on how smart and tough his parents are. The more they “play it smart,” the crookeder he will be; and the tougher they are, they harder he will have to play in order to survive. Clinical experience shows that the most effective way to corrupt and tighten a child is to give him frequent enemas against his will (which may cause micro tears in his rectum and colon and cause serious healthy problems), just as the most effective way to corrupt and disintegrate him is to spank him cruelly when he cries from pain (which is considered child abuse). In grade school he has a chance to try out, on the general population of other children and teachers, the games he has learned at home. He sharpens some up, tones others down, abandons some, and pick up new ones from the group. He also has a chance to test out his convictions and his position. #RandolphHarris 7 of 20

If he thinks he is O.K., his teacher can confirm this or shake him up by putting him down, and if he is convinced he is not-O.K., she can confirm that (which is only what he expects) or try to build him up (which may make him uneasy). If he thinks the rest of the World is O.K., he will include her unless she has to prove she it’s not. If he is convinced others are not-O.K., he will try to prove it by getting her angry. There are many special situations which neither the child nor the teacher can foresee or cope with. The teacher may play the game called, “Argentina.” “What is the most interesting thing about Argentina?” she asks. “Pampas,” says somebody. “Noo.” “Patagonia,” says somebody else. “Noooooo.” “Aconcagua,” offers another pupil. “Noooooooo.” By this time, they know what is up. It is no use remembering what is in the book, or what they are interested in. They are supposed to guess what is in her mind, so she has got them in a corner, and they give up. “Nobody else wants to answer?” she asks in her phony gentle tone. “Gauchos!” she declares triumphantly, making them all feel stupid simultaneously. There is nothing they can do to stop her, and it is very hard for even the most charitable student to let her keep her O.K. On the other hand, even the most skillful teacher may have trouble keeping her O.K. with a pupil whose body is being violated with enemas at home. If she tries to force him, he may refuse to answer because she is raping his mind as well, and that proves that she is no better than his parents. However, there is nothing she can do to help him, either. Each of the lower positions has its own assortments of games, and by playing them with the teacher, Jeder can see which ones she falls for and sharpen his skill. #RandolphHarris 8 of 20

In the second or arrogant position (+-), he may try “Now I Have Got You,” in the third or depressive one (-+), “Kick Me,” and from futility (–), “Making Teacher Sorry.” He may give up the ones she declines or has an antithesis for. However, he also tries them out on his schoolmates. The fourth position is in many ways the hardest to deal with. However, if the teacher keeps her cool and strokes Jeder with judicious words, neither marshmallows, rebukes, nor apologies, she may loosen his grip on the harsh rock of futility and float him part way up toward the sunshine of O.K.ness. Thus, later childhood is the period that determines which games from the domestic repertoire become fixed favourites and which ones, if any, are given up. The most important single question here is: “How did your teachers get along with you at school?” and next to that, “How did the other kids get along with you at school?” when persons believe their way of life is in jeopardy and there is no possibility of further existence, anxiety or dread is experienced. Anxiety differs from fear in that with the latter, one can see the source of the danger, and can, perhaps, cope with it by combat or flight. Anxiety is more likely to arise when one has violated a personal or a religious taboo and experiences the imminence of annihilation, while feeling helpless to do anything about it. It is also triggered by signals that do not appear to make sense, such as a horror of high places, panic over insects, or a dread of dirt. If the person survives it, a simple onslaught of such anxiety or dread is enough to traumatize someone for a lifetime. #RandolphHarris 9 of 20

Indeed, some of the most rigid character traits and so-called defense mechanisms are developed as desperate means of ensuring that the horror will never again be experienced. Many compulsive habits, like primitive religious taboos and injunctions, persist throughout persons’ loves, interfering with their personal relations and with the spontaneous enjoyment of life, in order to prevent the dreaded anxiety. When persons cannot avert the experience of anxiety by regulating their lives or their environment, they may develop any of the life styles that are described by psychiatrists as neurotic or psychotic. These ways of being are themselves devoid of joy, because they are so hemmed in by inhibitions; but the diminished life is preferred by the patients to facing, unaided and alone, that annihilation of their World and their identity that is called anxiety. It is impossible, however, to live without some encounter with anxiety. The posture most compatible with healthy personality in an encounter with dread is the posture of courage, the “courage to be” of which Paul Tillich wrote so beautifully. The person with courage to face the unknown with resolve and fortitude discovers unplumbed capacities to grow and to cope with life. As paradoxical as it may sound, the experience of anxiety is essential for growth. #RandolphHarris 10 of 20

There are two basic forms of anxiety: state anxiety, which strikes occasionally and for short periods of time, and trait anxiety, which describes the general state of the person and is with that person more or less constantly as a personality characteristic. It may be anticipated that even the psychologically healthy person would be in a state of anxiety on limited occasions, although the adaptive or useful function of the state is by no means entirely clear. It may serve to signal to the person or to peers that a matter of great importance is being considered and the individual needs to mobilize all resources for a successful response to the event—a significant decision, a serious threat to selfhood, or a major turning point in one’s life. Perhaps the most distinguished humanist writing on the subject of anxiety, Rollo May, insists that raw physical courage (in addition to the courage to be noted earlier) is often a triumph over anxiety. He cites the work of William Lloyd Garrison in seeking emancipation for the slaves, who wrote of his knees shaking in anticipation as he faced a large audience. Courage in itself seems to be one of the major dynamics of the high-level-functioning person. Courage is most likely to appear, however, in those persons fortunate enough to have an “encourager” in the lives, whether it be a friend, family member, counselor, or their deity. #RandolphHarris 11 of 20

My schizophrenic friend is sometimes violent—kicks out doors and windows, frames and all. He is also cunning—he does this in places where he knows that he will not be picked up by the police. He does not fear jail, but he fears that he might be sent to a mental hospital and robbed of a part of his life that is very dear to him. A psychiatrist recently recommended that he commit himself to an institution “but I faked him out by telling him I would go home and to my psychiatrists there.” His cunning has sometimes the look of ugliness—when he comes to me for money “ to go see Brandon” which is not what he will use it for. His eyes look like squirmy worms then. However, that is this but an expression of how he feels about himself when he asks for money and tells a lie to get it? Shall I live with his fawning, cheating—or with how he feels about it, the meaning of it to him? Other times he is a frolicking angel—as humorous and saintly as he looks. Which “he” is he? One evening with him I always thing of as perfect because there is never anything in it that I wish to change. Everyone else had gone to bed. He started painting at the dinner table. I sat beside him. Somehow I was moved to take a sheet of his paper and begin painting too. The paintings were my own—and unlike his. They were also unlike anything I had ever done before. The way that he went about his painting communicated itself to me without words, and I have ever since thought of him as my “teacher” although he made no attempt to teach. At the same time, he got something from me which he has ever since thought of as therapy. “And I know that these moments of real relationship with these real persons have been the essential reward for all of us…” #RandolphHarris 12 of 20

We psychiatrist measure an individual’s behaviour against his socially-determine role or roles (as we see them), and on this basis decide which behaviour is incorrect or aberrant and if so how much. The fact that American psychology after 1946 was an offspring of military psychology is neither alarming nor unexpected. Throughout human history, the Warrior Caste has introduced each new technology—mechanical, medical, social, and even bureaucratic. The military serves hive-terrestrials as the pioneer avant garde. Most intelligence structures are originated by their military who function as suspicious antennae for their societies. They are charged with the responsibility for finding out what is happening over there in the next hive; for sniffing out what the territorial rivals are doing, and for protecting the hive. The Warrior Caste—the warrior insects—are genetically wired to act as paranoid sense-organs for the body-social. As Thomas Pynchon pointed out in his book Gravity’s Rainbow, wars—however cruel and pointless they may seem to liberals—are necessary competitions to stimulate technological advances. Inter-hive conflicts are evolutionary devices to make Earthlings move faster, see farther, communicate better, transport, organize and heal ourselves more effectively. After the new technology has been tested and proved by the Warrior Caste, it is then co-opted by the other techno-castes who convert the new energy into hive use. #RandolphHarris 13 of 20

The order in which castes take over a new energy is fixed—Political Power Caste, Engineer Commercial Caste, Moral Domesticator Caste. In advanced societies, which have met these security satisfaction challenges, the technology is then coopted by post-hive individual castes—Artist Caste, Neurologician Caste, Neurogeneticist Caste. The history of preflight civilization is this cycle of technological evolution. Each caste is robot-wired to use the new technology and harness it to the specialized caste function. Pynchon outlines how this new technology—psychology—was initiated during wartime by the requirements of the military and how mind-control techniques have been taken over by the Managerial, Technician-Intellectual and Social-Moral Castes. Gravity’s Rainbow, of course, was a powerful signal from the Artistic Caste—the change agents. The book is a brilliant attempt to use psychological knowledge to free individuals from the limiting past. Without understanding all the implications, the military during World War II mobilized enormous national resources to create new technologies. These included air-transportation, electronic communication, nuclear energy, production of labour-saving gadgets, and psychological assessments of personality. All of these breakthroughs were produced by the patriotic emergency. Uncle Sam, the national self-indulgent consumer, wanted—and he got it! He demanded, “Gimmie 50,000 bombers”—and the hive gladly produced! “Gimme a radar system that will detect metal miles-high-in-the sky” and he got it.” Sam said, “Gimmie ships and planes so I can ship ten million lusty young warriors in two years to the five continents” and he got it! #RandolphHarris 14 of 20

“We deny God, we deny the responsibility of God, it is only thus that we will deliver the World.” With Nietzsche, nihilism seems to become prophetic. However, we can draw no conclusion from Nietzsche except the base and mediocre cruelty that he hated with all his strength, unless we give first place in his work—well ahead of the prophet—to the diagnostician. The provisional, methodical—in a word, strategic—character of his thought cannot be doubted for a moment. With him nihilism becomes conscious for the first time. Surgeons have this in common with prophets: they think and operate in terms of the future. Nietzsche never thought except in terms of an apocalypse to come, not in order to extol it, for he guessed the sordid and calculating aspect that this apocalypse would finally assume, but in order to avoid it and to transform it into a renaissance. He recognized nihilism for what it was and examined it like a clinical fact. He said of himself that he was the first complete nihilist of Europe. Not by choice, but by condition, and because he was too great to refuse the heritage of his time. He diagnosed in himself, and in others, the inability to believe and the disappearance of the primitive foundation of all faith—namely, the belief in life. The “can one live as a rebel?” became with him “can one live believing in nothing?” His reply is affirmative. Yes, if one creates a system out of absence of faith, if one accepts the final consequences of nihilism, and if, on emerging into the desert and putting one’s confidence in what is going to come, one feels, with the same primitive instinct, both pain and joy. #RandolphHarris 15 of 20

Instead of methodical doubt, he practiced methodical negation, the determined destruction of everything that still hides nihilism from itself, of the idols that camouflage God’s death. “To raise a new sanctuary, a sanctuary must be destroyed, that is the law.” According to Nietzsche, he who wants to be a creator of good or of evil must first of all destroy all values. “Thus, the supreme good is creative.” He wrote, in his own manner, the Discourse de la Methode of his period, without the freedom and exactitude of the seventeenth-century French he admired so much, but with the mad lucidity that characterizes the twenty-first century, which, according to him, is the century of genius. We must return to the examination of this system of rebellion. Whether it be in the form of art, music, poetry, literature, or those of living, dress, behaviour, manners, or speech, the quality of a person reveals himself in his coarseness or refinement. By that I mean whether he is or is not on the quest which is after all an attempt to refine ourselves from materialism to spirituality and therefore from low quality thoughts and feelings to higher and nobler ones. If higher development is sought, tit is not only manners which must be refined, but also consciousness. Whatever helps to refine character, feeling, mind, and taste is to be welcomed and cultivated as part of the philosophic work. #RandolphHarris 16 of 20

A person’s manners show outwardly the degree to which the Spirit is working within him. It was certainly the view of some Far Eastern sages, but explanation may be necessary for those to whom it is new. Without referring to polish and elegance—which are a different thing—decent manners in the sense of being considerate to others come closer to a spiritual man’s conduct than rude manners. The graceless discourtesies and little brutalities of those who are either too ill-bred or too selfish to be considerate of others, advertise spiritual emptiness. They defend themselves by ascribing mannerliness and charm to snobs, because they dare not face what they are and see their own poverty of soul. Jesus Christ saw the moral worth of proper manners, the ennobling value of dignified living, the formative power of right custom. If society did to Jesus’ gospel of propriety and conduct what it did to all religions, if it made the external and forms more important than the realities and spirit, that was not Jesus’ fault. The Superior Man’s virtue is considerate behaviour. Considerate behaviour is spiritual behaviour. A formal elaborate politeness, such as the upper class and neighbouring peoples practiced for over a thousand years, perhaps under the impetus of Jesus, is not meant there, but rather one coming from the heart. Refinement is a beautiful quality for anyone to possess, but for someone without a soul above materialism it is charged with a higher meaning. It not only involves consideration for others and respect for oneself, but also an attitude of aspiration. #RandolphHarris 17 of 20

The Sacramento City Fire Department is a diverse and evolving extension of the community, committed to providing excellent service to all those they serve, in a professional and humanitarian way. The Sacramento Fire Department pledges to protect lives, property and the environment through a safe, effective and timely response. They take an innovative approach to providing emergency medical services, fire suppression, rescue operations, emergency communications and fire prevention, community outreach and public education, as well as other services. “My colleague X, a mature fellow, was a late bloomer like myself. When he finally made lieutenant, they sent him to Y Engine, which is in a ghetto-type area where you get to do a lot of service. He was on the opposite shift from me at Y Engine. He had relived me that morning, and that evening I was coming in to relieve him. He had a basement fire. There is still controversy over what really happened, but for the sake of argument let’s say there was a flashover and a partial backdraft occurred. The lieutenant was on the nozzle at the top of the basement stairs, and the pipe man was backing him up. It must have been because the heart was so severe that they were changing positions. He was sucked down the stairs into the basement, and the pipe man got thrown out the door. This happened at four-thirty in the afternoon, and at one in the morning he died at the burn center. He was burned very badly, and his lungs were seared. #RandolphHarris 18 of 20

“That gave me the coldest chill the whole time I was in the fire department. If our shifts had been reversed, I would have been in the same place he was at. It could have been any of us, whoever had happened to be in charge of the company at the time. Here was another cause of one of you own. It happened in the daytime, which seemed more unusual, because most things happen in the nighttime. When I came in to relieve that night, God, it was such a terrible, uneasy feeling. It was devastating to his family. The husband and father goes to work, and everyone is happy, and all of a sudden he doesn’t come home. We had a full department funeral for him. It was very chilling and made you cry inwardly. But firefighters have a way of springing back. I’m still on the job. I’ll probably be here for another year, maybe two. Under the new rules, I can get out any time I want. But I think I’ll hang around a little while longer.” The members of the Sacramento City Fire Department are dedicated to professionalism, integrity, accountability, and respect for all life forms. Firefighters and EMT put their lives on the line every day, several times a day to provide the highest quality and highest level of courteous and responsive service possible. In an effort to keep the country cohesive, please raise your children to love America, to be patriotic, to love God and Jesus Christ and buy American cars and other American goods and services. #RandolphHarris 19 of 20

Also, please respect law and order, and treat others with kindness and respect. To ensure that you have a bright future, please take your education seriously, and be sure to actually read your books. And remember to “Just Say ‘No’ to Drugs.” Even marijuana can be deadly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all. O beautiful for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain, for purple mountains majesties above the fruited plain! America! America! God shed His grace on three, and crown thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea! O beautiful for pilgrim feet, whose stern, impassioned stress, a thoroughfare for freedom beat across the wilderness! America! America! God mend thine every flow, confirm thy soul in self-control, Thy liberty in law! O beautiful for patriot dream that sees beyond the years, Thine alabaster cities gleam, undimmed by human tears! America! America! God shed His grace on thee, and crown thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea! God never gave us express allowance, only He gave us reason, charity, nature and good example to bear us out. #RandolphHarris 20 of 20

Ventris Place
North Laguna Creek, CA | Mid 500’s
Now Selling!

Meet Ventris Place, a collection of 37 inspiring homes nestled just outside of Sacramento in the Elk Grove School District, and within walking distance to Cosumnes River College. Ventris Place offers premium California living with spacious floorplans and designer details you can’t find elsewhere. Expansive interiors offer room to entertain, live, and work from home.

Imagine waking up every day to the comfort of a life-made-easy home plan, private side yards, and inspired living spaces carefully designed to make life at home a pleasure. The open concept main floor boasts a great room, dining, and kitchen with gourmet features and entertainment island.

A covered patio off the kitchen brings outdoor living to life. The upstairs features a tucked away home management area and an open loft space. A large primary suite is your sanctuary, complete with dual large walk-in closets and spa bath.

Homes at Ventris Place offer 3-4 bedroom and 2-3 bath plans ranging from 1196 to 1846 square feet and include rear-entry 2-car garages. Choose from a single-story plan or several two-story plans.

Ventris Place homes are a place to breathe deep, sit back, and let life move just a little slower.

And when it’s time to get outside, the homes are adjacent to 22-acre North Laguna Creek Park, and a quick walk from the 119-acre designated Wildlife Area and Interpretive Trial. This intimate enclave of 37 homesites offers nostalgic charm and is available with one- and two-story floorplans. https://nextgenerationcapital.us/new-homes-elk-grove-ventris-place/

The “Everyone Welcome” Signs in the Front of the Churches Should Add “Except People Like Us”—We are Not Wanted!
Know this, and I mean it from the heart. I hold back what I think I should hold back and nothing more than that. Take your Aunt Queen and Nash to dinner at the Grand Luminiere Café tonight. Take my advice on that. Religious ties in Graystone Hills are either very tenuous or non-existent. Only 71 percent of the families claim any religious connections; many of these are merely “in spirit.” More than 9 families out of 10 have no connection with a church, and active hostility toward churches, ministers, and pious people is encountered more frequently than real or professed church work. Aunt Queen epitomized the situation when she said bitterly, “The ‘Everyone Welcome’ signs in the front of the churches should add except people like us’—we are not wanted.” She was right—they are not wanted by the congregations and several of the ministers. Ministers in the high-prestige churches (Federated, Methodist, and Lutheran) indicate they have no objections to class V persons coming to service and participating in church activities, but they know that members of the congregation resent the presence of these people; so they do not encourage their attendance. Ministers in the low-ranking churches do not believe that their people resent the presence of class V’s in church activities. #RandolphHarris 1 of 20
Three ministers related stories about unpleasant experiences they had with certain of these families before they earned that it is wise to “follow the line of least resistance” and let them alone. Four frankly stated that these people are beyond help, as far as the ministers are concerned, and they do not try to reach them in any way. Seven reported that if they are asked, they officiate at funerals, weddings, and baptisms; two refuse to perform these rites on religious grounds. The church schedules reveal that attendance at religious services and participation in auxiliary church activities are limited, with few exceptions, to the higher-ranking classes. Ninety-eight percent of the class V father are either completely unknown to the ministers or do not attend church if they are known. Five attend church services rarely or irregularly; not one is categorized as a “church worker.” The participation figures for the mothers are little different: 90 percent either are unknown or do not attend church; 7 percent attend services either rarely or irregularly; 3 percent are reported to be church workers. These church workers are in the Pentecostal, Pilgrim Holiness, and Church of God congregations that meet in abandoned stores, lofts, and private homes. Even the Free Methodists, who are largely class VI’s, apparently do not welcome too intimate contact with those women in their strivings for salvation through good work. #RandolphHarris 2 of 20
One minister cynically said with reference to them, “You will find in the churches these women who shout the longest and loudest about sin—hours on end—while their husbands are out lying with some harlot. Their extensive leisure time is spent in the community or in nearby ones, since they have little money to spend in travel; neither are their automobiles in good enough repair to stand the rigor of long trips. The men and boys are more mobile than the women and girls; when they leave the community, it is usually in search of work, adventure, often to avoid the sheriff. When the family goes away, it generally carries its belongings with it in a search for economic betterment. In these periodic moves, it usually encounters the same kind of conditions, so it comes back after a few months or years. Possibly as many as one-fourth of the families drift in and out of the community. These floating families have a more or less fixed routine which they follow in the course of the years. They may go to Michigan in the Summer to pick and pack fruit, on to Wisconsin for the cranberry season, then back to Graystone Hills for the Winter and early Spring. The younger children may enroll in school, the older boys try to find work in the bowling alley or on barges that ply the river; the girls and women find work as maids, cleaning women, or dishwashers until the family decides to move. #RandolphHarris 3 of 20
Class V persons are almost totally isolated from organized community activities. A few men claim memberships in veterans’ organizations, but they neither pay dues nor attend meetings. Workers in the Mill belong to the union, since this is a closed shop; the others follow lines of work not organized by the unions. Time has little value in the daily routine. Even getting to work on time and staying on the job are not too highly regarded. Employers complained bitterly about their loose work habits. They claim that these people come to work at irregular times, leave when they feel like it, and lay off on the least excuse. Since they do not participate in the organized community affairs, hours off the job are spent they way the person chooses without too much interference from neighbors. Leisure is expanded in loafing around the neighborhood, in downtown district, along the river, and at home. Their social life consist of informal visits between neighbors, gossip, petty gambling, visits to the less expensive theaters, going to town, drinking in the home or public taverns, with now and again a fist fight. The family is so loosely organized that members usually go their own way in search of amusement or pleasure. The cliques are severely age- and sex-graded; men associate with men and women with women, except in their ubiquitous play involving pleasures of the flesh. #RandolphHarris 4 of 20
Organized dinners and parties where guests are invited to the home on a Saturday night are unknown. Festive gatherings take place on Sunday when many branches of the family unite for a brief spell on merrymaking. The low-ranking taverns are filled on Saturday nights with class V’s of all ages who gather there for their big social night. Small children are kept up until after midnight in the hot, smoke-filled, poorly lighted, noisy “poor man’s night club.” Young couples wander in and out; often preliminary passes are made in preparation for a later seduction. Almost every Saturday night the police are called to some low-ranking tavern to break up a fight between half-drunk customers. The police, sheriff, prosecuting attorney, and judge know these families from frequent contact through the years, whereas the ministers and school officials may be only slightly acquainted with them. Between 2010 and 2017, 8 percent of the mothers and 46 percent of the fathers had been convicted once or more in the local courts. Public drinking, disorderly conduct, family neglect, and sex offenses were the charges against the women; they averaged 1.5 convictions each. The men were more or less chronic offenders who were convicted of habitual public drunkenness, 49 percent ; miscellaneous offenses, 30 percent; offenses against property, 12 percent; sex and family neglect, 9 percent. #RandolphHarris 5 of 20
They averaged 4.1 convictions each in eight years covered by reliable court records. Their misdeeds are prominently written up in the newspaper. If they do not reach they paper, they are known by some persons in the higher classes who delight in telling about them to their acquaintances. However, it is not neurotic to have conflicts. At one time or another our wishes, our interests, our convictions are bound to collide with those around us. And just as such clashes between ourselves and our environment are a commonplace, so, too, conflicts within ourselves are an integral part of human life. An animal’s actions are largely determined by instinct. Its mating, its care for its young, its search for food, its defenses against danger are more or less prescribed and beyond individual decision. In contrast, it is the prerogative as well as the burden of human beings to be able to exert choice, to have to make decisions. We may have to decide between desires that lead in opposite directions. We may, for instance, want to be alone but also want to be with a friend; we may want to study medicine but also to study music. Or there may be a conflict between wishes and obligations: we may wish to be with a lover when someone in trouble needs our care. We may be divided between desires to be in accord with others and a conviction that would entail expressing an opinion antagonistic to them. #RandolphHarris 6 of 20
We may be in conflict, finally, between two sets of values, as occurs when we believe in taking on a hazardous job in wartime but believe also in our duty to our family. The kind, scope, and intensity of such conflicts are largely determined by the civilization in which we live. If the civilization is stable and tradition bound, the variety of choices presenting themselves are limited and the range of possible individual conflicts narrow. Even then they are not lacking. One loyalty may interfere with another; personal desires may stand against obligations to the group. However, if the civilization is in a stage of rapid transition, where highly contradictory values and divergent ways of living exist side by side, the choices the individual has to make are manifold and difficult. One can conform to the expectations of the community or be a dissenting individualist, be gregarious or live as a recluse, worship success or despise it, have faith in strict discipline for children or allow them to grow up without much interference; one can believe in a different moral standard for men and women or hold that same should apply for both, regard relations in pleasures of the flesh as an expression of human intimacy or divorce them from ties of affection; one can foster racial discrimination or take the stand that human values are independent of color of skin or the shape of noses—and so on and so forth. #RandolphHarris 7 of 20
There is so doubt that choices like these have to be made very often by people living in our civilization, and one would therefore expect conflicts along these lines to be quite common. However, the striking fact is that most people are not aware of them, and consequently do not resolve them by any clear decision. More often than not they drift and let themselves be swayed by accident. They do not know where they stand; they make compromises being aware of doing so; they are involved in contradictions without knowing it. I am referring here to normal persons, meaning neither average nor ideal but merely non-neurotic. There must, then, be preconditions for recognizing contradictory issues and for making decisions on that basis. These preconditions are fourfold. We must be aware of what our wishes are, or even more, of what our feelings are. Do we really like a person or do we only think we like one because we are supposed to? If a parent dies, are we really sad, or do we only go through the motions? Do we really wish to become a lawyer or a doctor or does it merely strike us as a respectable and profitable career? Do we really want our children to be happy and independent or do we only give lip service to the idea? Most of us would find it difficult to answer such simple questions: that is, we do not know what we really feel or want. #RandolphHarris 8 of 20
Since conflicts often have to do with convictions, beliefs, or moral values, their recognition would presuppose that we have developed our own set of values. Beliefs that are merely taken over and are not a part of us hardly have sufficient strength to lead to conflicts or to serve as a guiding principle in making decisions. When subjected to new influences, such beliefs will easily be abandoned for others. If we simply have adopted values cherished in our environment, conflicts which in our best interest should arise do not arise. If, for instance, a son has never questioned the wisdom of a narrow-minded father, there will be little conflict when the father wants him to enter a profession other than the one he himself prefers. A married man who falls in love with another woman is actually engaged in a conflict; but when he has failed to establish his own convictions about the meaning of marriage he will simply drift along the path of least resistance instead of facing the conflict and making a decision one way or the others. Even if we recognize a conflict as such, we must be willing and able to renounce one of the two contradictory issues. However, the capacity for clear and conscious renunciation is rare, because our feelings and beliefs are middle, and perhaps because in the last analysis most people are not secure and happy enough to renounce anything. #RandolphHarris 9 of 20
Finally, to make a decision presupposed the willingness and capacity to assume responsibility for it. This would include the risk of making a wrong decision and the willingness to bear the consequences without blaming others for them. It would involve feeling, “This is my choice, my doing,” and presupposed more inner strength and independence than most people apparently have nowadays. To explain the phenomenon of indiscriminate relations with both genders on the basis of a given bisexuality is to my mind a misconstruction. There are in these cases no indications of a genuine leaning toward the same gender. The seemingly homosexual trends disappear as soon as a sound self-assertion has taken the place of anxiety, just as indiscrimination in reference to the opposite gender also disappears. What has been said of bisexual attitudes can also throw some light on the problem of homosexuality. In fact there are many intermediate stages between the described “bisexual” type and a definitely homosexual type. In the history of the latter there are definite factors which account for the fact that one excludes a person of the opposite gender as a sexual partner. Of course, the problem of homosexuality is much too intricate to allow an understanding from one point of view alone. Suffice it to say here that I have not yet seen a homosexual person in whom the factors mentioned in the bisexual group were not also present. #RandolphHarris 10 of 20
In the last few years it has been pointed out by several psychoanalytical writers that sexual desires may be reinforced because sexual excitement and satisfaction serve as an outlet for anxiety and for pent-up psychic tensions. This mechanistic explanation may be valid. I believe, however, that there are also psychic processes which lead from anxiety to increased sexual needs, and that it is possible to recognize these processes. This belief is founded both on psychoanalytic observation and on a study of the history of such patients in conjunction with their character traits outside the sexual sphere. Patients of the type may become passionately infatuated with the analyst at the beginning, impetuously demanding some return of love. Or they may maintain a considerate aloofness during analysis, transferring their need for sexual closeness to some person outside who, as evidenced by the fact that one resembles the analyst or by the fact that the two are identified in dreams, is made to serve as a substitute. Or finally, such persons’ need to establish a sexual contact with the analyst may appear exclusively in dreams or in sexual excitement during the interview. The patients are often utterly amazed by these unmistakable signs of sexual desire, because they neither feel attracted by the analyst nor are in any way fond of him or her. #RandolphHarris 11 of 20
In fact, sexual attraction emanating from the analysts plays no perceptible role, nor in the sexual temperament of such patients more impetuous or uncontrollable than that of others, nor is their anxiety greater or less than that other patients. What characterizes them is a deep disbelief in any kind of genuine affection. They are thoroughly convinced that the analyst is interested in them only for ulterior motives, if at all, that in one’s secret heart one despises them, and that probably one will do them more harm than good. Because of neurotic hypersensitivity reactions of spite, anger and suspicion occur in every psychoanalysis, but in these patients of particularly strong sexual needs these reactions form a permanent and rigid attitude. They make it seem that there is an invisible but impenetrable wall between analysts and patient. When confronted with a difficult problem of their own their first impulse is to give up, to break off the psychoanalysis. The picture they present is analysis is an exact replica of what they have been doing all their life. The difference is only that before the analysis they were able to escape the knowledge of how thin and intricate their personal relations actually were, the fact that they easily became involved sexually helped to confuse the situation and to lead them to believe that their readiness to establish sexual contacts meant that they were having good human relationships in general. #RandolphHarris 12 of 20
Caught at so many of us are in the strangling grip of conflicts—however unacknowledged—our inclination is to look with envy and admiration on people whose lives seem to flow along smoothly without being disturbed by any of this turbulence. The admiration may be warranted. These may be the strong ones who have established their own hierarchy of values, or who have acquired a measure of serenity because in the course of years of conflicts and the need for decision have lost their uprooting power. However, the outward appearance may be deceptive. More often, due to apathy, conformity, or opportunism, the people we envy are incapable of truly facing conflict or truly trying to resolve it on the basis of their own convictions, and consequently have merely drifted or been swayed by immediate advantage. To experience conflicts knowingly, though it may be distressing, can be an invaluable asset. The more we face our own conflicts and seek out our own solutions, the more inner freedom and strength we will gain. Only when we are willing to bear the brunt can we approximate the ideal of being the captain of our ship. A spurious tranquility rooted in inner dullness is anything but enviable. It is bound to make us weak and an easy prey to any kind of influence. When conflicts center about the primary issues of life, it is all the more difficult to face them and resolve them. #RandolphHarris 13 of 20
However, provided we are sufficiently alive, there is no reason why in principle we should not be able to do so. Education could do much to help us to live with greater awareness of ourselves and to develop our own convictions. A realization of the significance of the factors involved in choice would give us ideals to strive for, and in that a direction for our lives. When a person is neurotic, the difficulties always inherent in recognizing and resolving a conflict are immeasurably increased. Neurosis, it must be said, is always a matter of degree—and when I speak of “a neurotic” I invariable mean “a person to the extent that one is neurotic.” For one awareness of feelings and desires is at a low ebb. Often the only feeling experienced consciously and clearly are reactions of fear and anger to blows dealt to vulnerable spots. And even these may be repressed. Such authentic ideals as do exist are so pervaded by compulsive standards that they are deprived of their power to give direction. Under the sway of these compulsive tendencies the faculty to renounce is rendered impotent, and the capacity to assume responsibility for oneself all but lost. The attitudes I have mentioned are so regularly found together that whenever a patient at the start of a psychoanalysis begins revealing sex desires, fantasies or dreams concerning the analyst I am prepared to find particularly deep disturbances in one’s personal relations. #RandolphHarris 14 of 20
It is in accord with all observations on this score that the gender of the analyst is comparatively irrelevant. Patients who have worked successively with a man and a woman analyst may have identically the same curve of reaction toward both. In these cases it may therefore be a grave mistake to take at their face value homosexual wishes expressed in dreams or otherwise. Thus in general, just as “all is not gold that glitters,” so also “all is not sexuality that looks like it.” A great part of what appears as sexuality has in reality very little to do with it, but is an expression of the desire for reassurance. If this is not taken into consideration one is bound to overestimate the role of sexuality. The individual whose sexual needs are enhanced under the unrecognized stress of anxiety is inclined naively to ascribe the intensity of one’s sexual needs to one’s innate temperament, or to the fact that one is free from conventional taboos. In doing so one commits the same error as those who overestimate their need for sleep, imagining that their constitutions require ten hours of sleep or more, while actually their enhanced need for sleep may be determined by a variety of pent-up emotions; sleep may serve them as a means of withdrawing from all conflicts. The same applies to compulsive eating or drinking. #RandolphHarris 15 of 20
Eating, drinking, sleep, sexuality, all constitute vital needs; their intensity varies not only with the individual’s constitution, but with many other conditions, such as climate, absence or presence of other conditions, such as climate, absence or presence of other satisfactions, absence or presence of external stimulations, degree of strenuous work, existing physical conditions. However, also all of the needs may be increased by unconscious factors. The connection between sexuality and the need for affection throws light on the problem of sexual abstinence. How well sexual abstinence can be endured varies with the culture and the individual. In the individual it may depend on several psychic and physical factors. It is easy to understand, however, that an individual who needs sexuality as an outlet for the sake of allaying anxiety will be particularly incapable of enduring any abstinence, even of short duration. These considerations lead to certain reflections on the role that sexuality plays in our culture. We tend to look with a certain pride and satisfaction on our liberal attitude toward sexuality. Certainly there has been a change for the better since the Victorian age. We have greater freedom in sexual relations and a greater capacity for satisfaction. The latter point is particularly true for women; frigidity is no longer considered a normal condition in women, but is generally recognized as a deficiency. #RandolphHarris 16 of 20
In spite of the change, however, the improvement is not quite so far-reaching as we might think, because a great deal of sexual activity today is more an outlet for psychic tensions than a genuine sexual drive, and is therefore to be regarded more as a sedative than as genuine sexual enjoyment or happiness. The cultural situation is reflected also in psychoanalytical concepts. It is one of the great achievements of Dr. Freud that he contributed so much to giving sexuality its due importance. In detail, however, many phenomena are accepted as sexual which are really the expression of complex neurotic need for affection. For example, sexual desires concerning the analyst are usually interpreted as repetitions of sexual fixation on father or mother, but often they are not genuine sexual wishes at all, but a reaching out for some reassuring contact to allay anxiety. Therefore, some doctors may have overplayed the Oedipus complex. The patient, to be sure, often relates associates or dreams—expressing for affection or shelter. Even if the desires concerning the analyst were understood as a direct repetition of similar desires toward the father or mother, this would be no proof that the infantile tie to the parents was itself a genuine sexual tie. #RandolphHarris 17 of 20
There is plenty of evidence that adult neuroses all the features of the Oedipus complex, may have existed in childhood, but this is less frequently the case than Dr. Freud assumes. However, the Oedipus complex is brought about by the child clinging to one parent for the sake of reassurance. Yet, it ignores the female counterpart. We call women who may be attracted to their father’s girls with “daddy issues.” But what is the term for girls who seem to have an attraction to their mothers and express excessive demands for unconditional love, jealous, possessiveness, hatred because of rejection, which are characteristic of the neurotic need for affection. This is also a neurotic formation. Do not fall into the trap of expressing disgust with these people, or exhibiting spite or hatred. Allow them to have their space to act out. Your life will become more blessed, and your blessings will be grounded. The increasing intensity of your spiritual experience will make the experiences more real increasing faith in self while your physical reality will see more malleable through your soul work. This is a major part of this infernal science of becoming. It helps to enforce the process of unifying the dense physical self with the potential unlimited possibility. Instead of being fearful you should see your visions for prosperity as opportunities to destroy imposed fate through prayer. Remembering this at all times…the life experience is nothing but a series of opportunities to exercise power. #RandolphHarris 18 of 20
Having faith in God keeps the powerful forces of protection active. This is a much needed insurance policy when walking a path such as this. It will help to absorb and consume any malign energies that may seek your destruction as your personal power develops through alchemical transmutation. The oppositional forces then become fuel for ascent. This will create indirect doorways for others to awaken from spiritual sedation. Keep in mind that the realms of hell are sentient and subjective in that they are based on the personal fears of each individual. What really differs is the fact that by applying these principles our consciousness begins to assimilate obvious yet severely neglected fundamental spiritual truths. We need to come to understand that when creating changes within self for the sake of empowerment our external reality also begins to shift reflecting that internal empowerment. Wen working toward creating external shifts within our external reality our spirit is also empowered by simply exercising our own divine power. There is no difference in the end. Either way the end result is empowerment through an increase in efficiency of the life experience through the manifestation of desired change. #RandolphHarris 19 of 20
Wealth and poverty are of the same energy. The only difference is how the specific energy is being applied. Understand that whenever a light is shined a shadow is cast. To perceive unlimited possibility, you must become the eye between the reflector and reflected. Therefore, it is not just about removing the illusion of external divinity but rather usurping and taking back that power as your own birthright. In essence this ritual is designed to destroy the concept of external divinity altogether so that one becomes the center of creation and destruction within their own subjectivity reality. Remember that self-discipline is an avenue which makes your desire and intent law! If it is your desire to do something and you do not do it, then you weaken the potency of your will and intent. This will further ensnare you with limitation and program yourself for failure. Wait until you are ready to commit. This is a working of devoting your intent toward peering deep within self and pulling divine power into these deepest depths. Throughout this time frame you must act accordingly within the World. Strive to become something greater by setting goals and achieve. This rite by itself, as simple as it is, may make you or break you. “May the Lord our God, who has redeemed us and made us free, keep you continually in his presence; yea, and may he favor this people, even that ye may have success,” reports Alma 58.41. #RandolphHarris 20 of 20
Cresleigh Homes
Oh hello, Brighton Station Residence 3! 👋 This floor plan offers 3 different elevations, 4 bed/3.5 bath, including a master bedroom and 4th bedroom suite with optional bathtub and “California Room” upgrades. ☀️ Visit our website to view this floor plan in depth with our Interactive Floor Plan tool. Link in below!
https://cresleigh.com/brighton-station/residence-3/
#NewHomes
#BrightonStation
#CresleighRanch
#CresleighHomes