A variety of interpersonal and intrapersonal processes lead people to underestimate the degree to which the personality of others is in varying degrees from one relationship to another. They also help to explain why outsiders often misjudge the character of a relationship. Not only are many facets of a relationship shrouded in privacy, but an outsider’s view is greatly colored by his or her relationship with each partner. The partners are different persons to some extent when interacting with the outside observer than they are when interacting with each other. Also, each partner’s assessment of a relationship, like its form, is unique, dependent as it is on the distinctive characteristics of the persons involved and the history of the relationship. Relationships are occurring at two levels, the cognitive and the emotional. People may experience a variety of feelings and engage in particular behaviors they feel belong with a specific type of relationship. Their responses reflect individual differences in personality, including their responses reflect individual differences in personality. They also reflect shared cultural and subcultural definitions of the appropriate feelings and behavior of person who are linked in a particular relationship, as friends, as lovers, as parents and child, and so forth. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6

Attractions appears to be augmented by both unpleasant as well as pleasant experiences. Emotional arousal whatever its source, optimistic or pessimistic, maybe experienced as attraction or love and is likely to happen because of the existence of an ideology in Western culture that suggests how persons in the early phase of a heterosexual relationship are supposed to feel. These ideas about how a person should feel and behave when in love are reflected in popular songs and literature throughout the Western World. I have often wondered because of the media, do people actually understand their own emotions, feelings, attitudes, and beliefs, or are the just being programmed by the media and do not understand it? “I want all my clothes designer, I want someone else to buy them. If I can’t get it right now, I don’t want it. Give me all of your attention, give me Summer in the Hamptons. If I cannot get it right now, I don’t want it,” are the lyrics of a song by Kim Petras called I Don’t Want it at All. The lyrics are significant because it shows the attitude of many youth and adults today. They want fancy things and your love, but are not willing to work for it or wait. Society has become increasingly materialistic and focuses on products and instant gratification. After all, people are willing to spend ten hours waiting in line to buy a $1,000.00 phone just because it is new. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6

We are raising a bunch of Machiavellian persons, and they consider their goals to be of prime importance. The more extreme the Machiavellianism, the greater harm the person will be ready to indirectly (or perhaps directly) inflict on others to achieve their own goals. If parents were serious about helping their children retire in the future, that $1,000.00 could be put in a wealth account, and at a 6 percent a year interest rate over 65 years, it would produce $44,145 in tax-deferred savings. That is enough for a retired person to live on for a year. Also, the existence of a wealth account from birth would encourage more saving. Delaying gratification and spending can be beneficial. And if parents or grandparents invested $20 more a month, for twenty years, when the child retired that account would be worth over $240,000.00. It requires mindful planning and self-reflection to accomplish bliss within your life.  When people go to work they goal is to create more freedom and happiness. The Holy Spirit works sanctification in our mind and soul in the present, and our Heavenly Father will align our minds with our spirits, so we are happier. The more we align our thoughts, will, and emotions with our flesh, instant gratification, and materialism, the less joy we experience. We must renew our minds daily in order to align our thoughts, will, and emotions with the Holy Spirit. And we are happiest when that worthy purpose is the kingdom of God. Labor much in the spirit, wrestle with God in mighty prayers, that he will pour out his Spirit upon you. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6

 Attraction can be explained in some part based on what is generally acceptable or thought of as normal. Love occurs as a rule in heterosexual relationships rather than in same sexed ones because of our culture encourages the labeling of states of arousal and consequently the experiencing of emotions in the form of love. The development of identity interdependence, along with sexual exploration and other activities typical of courtship, leads to both pleasurable and, at times, uncomfortable states of arousal. The heightened expectations concerning these matters fostered by romanticism, and the uncertainty of their realization, may explain why the intensity of feeling during this early phase of the initiation and consolidation of a relationship is followed by a more placid phase where uncertainty and unevenness in the rewarding quality of experience are replaced by certainty and routine, and the feeling between partners become more like those identified as companionate love. Companionate love is a kind of bond that is characterized by a deep commitment to one another, such as in a long-term marriage where the passion has left but not the deep affection for one another. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6

 The intensity of feeling characteristic of romantic love or passionate love does appear to recur, either where the situation is heavily laden with supporting cues and definitions, for example, a second honeymoon, or during periods of heightened physiological arousal. A variety of interpersonal and intrapersonal processes lead people to underestimate the degree to which the personality of others is in varying degrees different from one relationship to another. They also help to explain why outsiders often misjudge the character of a relationship. Not only are many facets of a relationship shrouded in privacy, but an outsider’s view is greatly colored by his or her relationship with each partner. The partners are different persons to some extent when interacting with the outside observer than they are when interacting with each other. And that is why married men are sometimes deemed more attractive than single men. Not only are they stable, but outsiders see how nice they are to their wife and children and it paints a picture that makes a man look monogamous and stable and that is what people look for in a mate. Whereas, single people seemed to be influenced by popular culture and are just looking for instant gratification and materialism. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6

Commitment can be both viewed as a process and a state of mind. Perhaps because homosexuality is not seen as something desired by parents, many children repress their true feelings and marry the opposite gender because they feel it is the right thing to do. Not that I question Kevin’s sexuality on the situational comedy This is Us, but he was not ready to settle down with his girlfriend because he was not really happy with his life and he forced himself to go buy her three engagement rings, and showed up at her door step, but ended up tell her that he saw nothing but misery in their future because he was not happy with his personal life and did not want to be forced into a marriage, but would marry her if that is what she wanted. That just might explain why companionate love is what happens to most people after years of marriage. They just stick together because it is comfortable and they are committed to each other. Also, because opposite sex couples are deemed as more normal, it could by why homosexual tend to display characteristics that are not in alignment with their gender roles. Perhaps they assume they need to emulate a different gender role to be homosexual. For instance, most gay men are very flamboyant and call each other girl. Whereas a lot of gay women tend to be masculine. Acts of commitment not only increase outcomes and resulting attraction, but are also inherent in the development of power within a relationship. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6