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Misery Acquaints a Human with Strange Bedfellows

If you think about, the Victorian era was the only time that we could possibly achieve World peace. Misery acquaints a human with strange bedfellows. Looking at it from the standpoint of values it becomes evident that narcissism conflicts with reasons and with love. This statement hardly needs further elaboration. By the very nature of the narcissistic orientation, it prevents one—to the extent to which it exists—from seeing reality as it is, that is, objectively; in other words, it restricts reason. It may not be equally clear that it restricts love—especially when we recall that Dr. Freud said that in al love there is a strong narcissistic component; that a man in love with a woman makes her the object of his own narcissism, and that therefore she becomes wonderful and desirable because she is part of him. She may do the same with him, and thus we have the case of the “great love,” which often is only a folie a deux rather than love. Both people remain each of them will be in need of a new person who can give them fresh narcissistic satisfaction. For the narcissistic person, the partner is never a person in one’s own right or in one’s full reality; one exists only as a shadow of the partner’s narcissistically inflated ego. Nonpathological love, on the other hand, is not based on mutual narcissism. It is a relationship between two people who experience themselves as separate entities, yet who can open themselves and become one with each other. In order to experience love, one must experience separateness. If we consider that the essential teachings of all the great humanist religions can be summarized in one sentence: It is the goal of man to overcome one’s narcissism; the significance of the phenomenon of narcissism from the ethical-spiritual viewpoint becomes very clear. #RandolphHarris 1 of 20

Perhaps this principle is nowhere expressed more radically than in the teachings of Jesus as the Christ. If humans awaken from their illusions, repent, and becomes aware of the Heavenly Father, the teaching of Jesus as the Christ amounts to saying that humans can save themselves from the reality of sickness, old age, and death, and of the impossibility of ever attaining the aims of one’s greed. The sanctified person who Jesus as the Christ’s teachings speaks is the person who has overcome one’s narcissism, and who is therefore capable of being fully awake. We might put the same thought still differently: Only if humans can do away with the illusions of their indestructible ego, only if one can drop it together with all other objects of one’s greed, only then can one be open to the World and fully related to it. Psychologically this process of becoming fully awake is identical with the replacement of narcissism by relatedness to the World. The Old Testament says: “Love thy neighbour as thyself.” Here the demand is to overcome one’s narcissism at least to the point where one’s neighbour becomes as important as oneself. However, the Old Testament goes much further than this in demanding love for the “stranger.” (You know the soul of the stranger, for strangers have you been in the land of Egypt.) The stranger is precisely the person who is not part of my clan, my family, my nation; one is not part of the group to which I am narcissistically attached. One is nothing other than human. #RandolphHarris 2 of 20

One discovers the human being in the stranger. In the love for the stranger narcissistic love has vanished. For it means loving another human being in one’s suchness and one’s difference from me, and not because one is like me. When the New Testament says “love thine enemy” it expresses the same idea in a more pointed form. If the stranger has become fully human to you, there is also no longer an enemy, because you have become truly human. Only if narcissism has been overcome, if “I am thou,” to love the stranger and the enemy is possible. The fight against idolatry, which is the central issue of prophetic teaching, is at the same time a fight against narcissism. In idolatry one partial faculty of man is absolutized and made into an idol. Man then worships himself in an alienated form. The idol in which one submerges becomes the object of one’s narcissistic passion. The idea of God, on the contrary, is the negation of narcissism because only God—not man—is omniscient and omnipotent. However, while the concept of an indefinable and indescribable God was the negation of idolatry and narcissism, God soon became again an idol; man identified himself with God in a narcissistic manner, and thus in full contradiction to the original function of the concept of God, religion became a manifestation of group narcissism. The full maturity of man is achieved by his complete emergence from narcissism, both individual and group narcissism. This goal of mental development which is thus expressed in psychological terms is essentially the same as that which the great spiritual leaders of the human race have expressed in religious-spiritual terms. While the concepts differ, the substance and the experience referred to in the various concepts are them same. #Randolphharris 3 of 20

We live in a historical period characterized by a sharp discrepancy between the intellectual development of humans, which has led to the development of the most destructive armaments, and one’s mental-emotional development, which has left one still in a state of marked narcissism with all its pathological symptoms. What can be done in order to avoid the catastrophe which can easily result from this contradiction? Is it at all possible for humans to take a step in the foreseeable future which, in spite of all religious teachings, one has never been able to take before? Is narcissism so deeply ingrained in humans that one will never overcome one’s “narcissistic core,” as Dr. Freud thought? Is there then any hope that narcissistic madness will not lead to the destruction of humans before one had a chance to become fully human? No one can give an answer to these questions. One can only examine what the optimal possibilities are which may help humans to avoid the catastrophe. One might begin with what would seem to be the easiest way. Even without reducing narcissistic energy in each person, the object could be changed. If mankind, the entire human family, could become the object of group narcissism instead of one nation, one race, or one political system being this object, much might be gained. If the individual could experience oneself primarily as citizens of the World and if they could feel pride in mankind and in its achievements, one’s narcissism would turn toward the human race as an object, rather than to its conflicting components. If the educational systems of all countries stressed the achievements of an individual nation, a more convincing and moving case could be made for the pride in being human. #RandolphHarris 4 of 20

If the feeling which the Greek poet expressed in Antigone’s words, “There is nothing more wonderful than man,” could become an experience shared by all, certainly a great step forward would have to be added: the feature of all benign narcissism, namely, that it refers to an achievement. Not one group, class, religion, but all of humankind must undertake to accomplish tasks which allow everybody to be proud of belonging to this race. Common tasks for all mankind are at hand: the joint fight against disease, against hunger, for the dissemination of knowledge and art through our means of communication among all the peoples of the World. The fact is that in spite of all differences in political and religious ideology, there is no sector of mankind which can afford to exclude itself from these common tasks; for the great achievement of this century is that the belief in the natural or divine causes of human inequality, of the necessity or legitimacy of the exploitation of one human by another, has been defeated to the point of no return. Renaissance humanism, the bourgeois revolutions, the Russian, Chinese, and colonial revolutions—all are based on one common thought: the equality of man. Even if some of these revolutions have led to the violation of human equality within the systems concerned, the historical fact is that the idea of the equality of all men, hence of their freedom and dignity, has conquered the World, and it is unthinkable that mankind could ever return to the concepts which dominated civilized history until only a short time ago. #RandolphHarris 5 of 20

The image of the human race and of its achievements as the object of benign narcissism could be represented by supranational organizations such as the United Nations; it could even begin to create its own symbols, holidays, and festivals. Not the national holiday, but the “day of man” would become the highest holiday of the year. However, it is clear that such a development can occur only inasmuch as many and eventually all nations concur and are willing to reduce their national sovereignty in favour of the sovereignty of mankind; not only in terms of political, but also in terms of emotional, realities. A strengthened United Nations and the reasonable and peaceful solution of group conflicts are the obvious conditions for the possibility that humanity and its common achievements shall become the object of group narcissism. As an example of more specific measures for such an attempt, consider history. History textbooks should be rewritten as textbooks of World History, in which the proportions of each nation’s life remain true to reality and are not distorted, just as World maps are the same in all countries and do not inflate the size of each respective country. Furthermore, movies could be made which foster pride in the development of the human race, showing how humanity and its achievements are the final integration of many single steps undertaken by various groups. Such a change in the object of narcissism from single groups to all humankind and its achievements would indeed tend, as pointed out before, to counteract the dangers of national and ideological narcissism. However, this was not enough. #RandolphHarris 6 of 20

If we are true to our political and religious ideals, the Christian as well as the socialist ideal of unselfishness and brotherhood, the task is to reduce the degree of narcissism in each individual. Although this will take generations, it is now more possible than ever before become humans have the possibility to create the material conditions for a dignified human life for everybody. The development of technique will do away with the need for one group to enslave and to exploit another; it has already made war obsolete as an economically rational action; man will for the first time emerge from one’s half-animal state to a fully human one, and hence not need narcissistic satisfaction to compensate for one’s material and cultural poverty. On the basis of these new conditions man’s attempt to overcome narcissism can be greatly helped by the scientific and the humanist orientation. We must shift our educational effort from teaching primarily a technical orientation to one that is scientific; that is, toward furthering critical thought, objectivity, acceptance of reality, and a concept of truth which is subject to no fiat and is valid for every conceivable group. If the civilized nations can create a scientific orientation as one fundamental attitude in their young, much will have been gained in the struggle against narcissism. The second factor which leads in the same direction is the teaching of humanist philosophy and anthropology. We could not even want this, since the establishment of one system claiming to be the “orthodox” one might lead to another source of narcissistic regression. However, even allowing for all existing differences, there is a common humanist creed and experience. #RandolphHarris 7 of 20

The creed is that each individual carries all of humanity within oneself, that the “human condition” is one and the same for all human, in spite of unavoidable differences in intelligence, talents, height, and colour. This humanist experience consists in feeling that nothing human is alien to one, that “I am you,” that one can understand another human being because both share the same elements of human existence. Only if we enlarge our sphere of awareness is this humanist experience is fully possible. Our own awareness is usually confined to what the society of which we are members permits us to be aware. Those human experiences which do not fit into this picture are repressed. Hence our consciousness represents mainly our own society and culture, while our unconscious represents the universal man in each of us. The broadening of self-awareness, transcending consciousness and illuminating the spheres of the social unconscious, will enable man to experience in himself all of humanity; he will experience that fact he is a sinner and a saint, a child and an adult, a sane and insane person, a man of the past and one of the future—that he carries within oneself that which mankind has been and that which it will be. A true renaissance of our humanist tradition undertaken by all religious, political, and philosophical systems claiming to represent humanism would result in considerable progress toward the most important “new frontier” that exists today—man’s development into a completely human being. Teaching alone can be the decisive step for the realization of humanism, as the Renaissance humanists believed. #RandolphHarris 8 of 20

If essential social, economic, and political conditions change; a change from bureaucratic industrialism to humanist-socialist industrialism; from centralization to decentralization; from the organization man to a responsible and participating citizen; subordination of national sovereignties to the sovereignty of the human race and its chosen organs; common efforts of the “have” nations in corporation with the “have-not” nations to build up the economic systems of the latter; universal disarmament and availability of the existing material resources for constructive takes, only then will all these teachings have an impact. Universal disarmament is also necessary for another reason: if one sector of humankind lives in fear of total destruction by another bloc, and the rest live in fear of destruction by both blocs, then, indeed, group narcissism cannot be diminished. Man can be human only in a climate in which he can expect that he and his children will live to see the next year, and many more years to come. A knowledge of the neurotic trends and their implications gives a rough conception of what has to be worked through in analysis. It is also desirable, however, to know something about the sequence in which the work must be done. Are problems tackled in a helter-skelter fashion? Does one obtain a piecemeal insight here and there until at last the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle are put together into an understandable picture? Or are there principles that may serve as a guide in the maze of material ordering itself? Dr. Freud declared that a person will first present in the analysis the same front that one presents to the World in general, and that then one’s repressed striving will gradually appear, in succession from the less repressed to the more repressed. #RandolphHarris 9 of 20

If we were to take a bird’s-eye view of the analytical procedure this answer would still hold true. And even if the findings to be made lay around a single vertical line along which we would have to wind our way into the depths, as a guide for action, the general principle involved would be good enough. However, if we should assume that this is the case, if we should assume that is we only continue to analyze whatever material shows up we shall penetrate step by step into the repressed area, we may easily find ourselves in a state of confusion—which indeed happens not infrequently. The theory of neuroses developed in pervious reports gives us more specific leads. It holds that there are several focal points in the neurotic personality given by the neurotic trends and the structure built around each of them. The inference to be drawn for the therapeutic procedure is, briefly, that we must discover each trend and each time descend into the depths. More concretely, the implications of each neurotic trend are repressed in various degrees. Those that are less deeply repressed are the first to become accessible; those that are more deeply repressed will emerge later. The same principle applies to the order in which the neurotic trends themselves can be tackled. One patient will start by presenting the implications of one’s need for absolute independence and superiority, and only much later can one discover and tackle indications of one’s compliance or of one’s need for affection. The next patient will start with an open display of one’s need to be loved and approved of, and one’s tendencies to control over, if one has any, could possibly be approached at the beginning; but a third one will from the beginning display a highly developer power drive. #RandolphHarris 10 of 20

The fact that a trend appears at the beginning indicates nothing about its comparative importance or unimportance: the neurotic trend that appears first is not necessarily the strongest one in the sense of having the greatest influence on the personality. We could rather say that that trend is the first to crystalize which jibes vest with the person’s conscious or semiconscious image of oneself. If secondary defenses—the means of self-justification—are highly developed they may entirely dominate the picture at the beginning. In that case the neurotic trends become visible and accessible only later one. To further high light this illustration, consider Clare whose childhood history was briefly outlined in past reports. When the analysis is reported for this purpose it must, of course, be grossly simplified and schematized. Clare came for analytic treatment at the age of fifteen for various reasons. She was easily overcome by a paralyzing fatigue that interfered with her work and her social life. Also, she complained about having remarkably little self-confidence. She was the editor of a magazine, and though her professional career and her present position were satisfactory her ambition to write plays and stories was checked by insurmountable inhibitions. She could do her routine work but was unable to do productive work, though she was inclined to account for this latter inability by point out her probable lack of talent. She had been married at the age of sixteen, but the husband had died after three years. After the marriage she had had a relationship with another man which continued during the analysis. According to her initial presentation both relationships were completely satisfactory. #RandolphHarris 11 of 20

The analysis stretched over a period of four and a half years. She was analyzed for one year and a half. This time was followed by an interruption of two years, in which she did a good deal of self-analysis, afterward retuning to analysis for another year at irregular intervals. Clare’s analysis could be roughly divided into three phases: the discovery of her compulsive modesty; the discovery of her compulsive dependence on a partner; and finally, the discovery of her compulsive need to force others to recognize her superiority. None of these trends was apparent to herself or to others. In the first period the data that suggested compulsive elements were as follows. She tended to minimize her own value and capacities: not only was she insecure about her assets but she tenaciously denied their existence, insisting that she was not intelligent, attractive, or gifted and tending to discard evidence to the contrary. Also, she tended to regard others as superior to herself. If there was a dissension of opinion, she automatically believed that the others were right. She recalled that when her husband had started an affair with another woman she did nothing to remonstrate against it, though the experience was extremely painful to her; she managed to consider him justified in preferring the other on the grounds that the latter was more attractive and more loving. Moreover, it was almost impossible for her to spend money on herself: when she traveled with others she could enjoy living in expensive places, even though she contributed her share in the expenses, but as soon as she was on her own she could not bring herself to spend money on such things as trips, dresses, plays, books. #RandolphHarris 12 of 20

Finally, though she was in an executive position, it was impossible for her to give orders: if orders were unavoidable, she would do so in an apologetic way. The data showed that Clare had developed a compulsive modesty, that she felt compelled to constrict her life within narrow boundaries and to take always a second or third place. When this trend was once recognized, and its origin in childhood discussed, we began to search systematically for its manifestations and its consequences. What role did this trend actually play in her life? She could not assert herself in any way. In discussions she was easily swayed by the opinions of others. Despite a good faculty for judging people she was incapable of taking any critical stand toward anyone or anything except in editing, when a critical stand was expected of her. She had encountered serious difficulties, for instance, by failing to realize that a fellow worker was trying to undermine her position; when this situation was fully apparent to others, she still regarded the other as her friend. Her compulsion to take second place appeared clearly in games: in tennis, for instance, she was usually too inhibited to play well, but occasionally she was able to play a good game and then, as soon as she became aware that she might win, she would begin to play badly. The wishes of others were more important than her own: she would be contented to take her holidays during the time that was least wanted by others, and she would do more work than she needed to if others were dissatisfied with the amount of work to be done. #RandolphHarris 13 of 20

Most important was a general suppression of her feelings and wishes. Her inhibitions concerning expansive plans she regarded as particular “realistic”—evidence that she never wanted things that were beyond reach. Actually she was as little “realistic” as someone with excessive expectations of life; she merely kept her wishes beneath the level of the attainable. She was unrealistic in living in every way beneath her means—socially, economically, professionally, spiritually. It was attainable for her, as her later life showed, to be liked by many people, to look attractive, to write something that was valuable and original. The most general consequence of this trend were progressive lowering of self-confidence and a diffuse discontentment with life. Of the latter she had not been in the least aware, and could not be aware as long as everything was “good enough” for her and she was not clearly conscious of having wishes or of their not being fulfilled. The only way this general discontentment with life had shown itself was in trivial matters and in sudden spells of crying which had occurred from time to time and which had been quite beyond her understanding. For quite a while she recognized only fragmentarily the truth of these findings; in important matters she made the silent reservation that I either overrated her or felt it to be good therapy to encourage her. Finally, however, she recognized in a rather dramatic fashion that real, intense anxiety lurked behind this façade of modesty. It was at a time when she was about to suggest an improvement in the magazine. She knew that her plan was good, that it would not meet with too much opposition, that everyone would be appreciative in the end. Before suggesting it, however, she had an intense panic which could not be rationalized in any way. #RandolphHarris 14 of 20

At the beginning of the discussion, she still felt panicky and had to leave the room because she was unwell. However, as the discussion turned increasingly in her favour the panic subsided. The plan was finally accepted and she received considerable recognition. She went home with a feeling of elation and was still in good spirits when she came to the next analytical hour. I dropped a casual remark to the effect that this was quite a triumph for her, which she rejected with a slight annoyance. Naturally she had enjoyed the recognition but her prevailing feeling was one of having escaped from a great danger. It was only after more than two years had elapsed that she could tackle the other elements involved in this experience, which were along the lines of ambition, dread of failure, triumph. At that time her feelings, as expressed in her associations, were all concentrated on the problem of modesty. She felt that she had been presumptuous to propound a new plan. Who was she to know better! However, gradually she realized that this attitude was based on the fact that for her the suggesting of a different course of action meant a venturing out of the narrow artificial precincts that she had anxiously preserved. Only when she recognized the truth of this observation did she become fully convinced that her modesty was a façade to be maintained for the sake of safety. The result of this first phase of work was a beginning of faith in herself and a beginning of courage to feel and assert her wishes and opinions. The second period was dedicated prevailingly to work on her dependency on a “partner.” The majority of the problems involved she worked through by herself. #RandolphHarris 15 of 20

This dependency, despite its overwhelming strength, was still more deeply repressed than the previous trend. It had never occurred to her that anything was wrong in her relationships with men. On the contrary, she had believed them to be particularly good. The analysis gradually changed this picture. There were three main factors that suggested compulsive dependence. The first was that she felt completely lost, like a small child in a strange wood, when a relationship ended or when she was temporarily separated from a person who was important to her. The first experience of this kind occurred after she left home at the age of twenty. She then felt like a feather blown around in the Universe, and her wrote desperate letters to her mother, declaring that she could not live without her. This homesickness stopped when he developed a kind of crush on an older man, a successful writer who was interested in her work, and furthered her in a patronizing way. Of course, this first experience of feeling lost when alone could be understood on the basis of her youth and the sheltered life she had lived. However, later reactions were intrinsically the same, and formed a strange contrast to the rather successful professional career that she was achieving despite the difficulties mentioned before. The second striking fact was that in any of these relationships the whole World around her became submerged and only the beloved had any importance. #RandolphHarris 16 of 20

Thought and feelings centered around a call or a letter or a visit from him; hours that he spent without him were empty, filled only with waiting for him, with a pondering about his attitude to her, and above all with feeling utterly miserable about incidents which she felt as utter neglect or humiliating rejection. At these times other human relationships, her work, and other interests lost almost every value for her. The third factor was a fantasy of a great and masterful man whose willing slave she was and who in turn gave her everything she wanted, from an abundance of material things to an abundance of mental stimulation, and made her a famous writer. As the implications of these factors were gradually recognized the compulsive need to lean on a “partner” appeared and was worked through in its characteristics and its consequences. Its main feature was an entirely repressed parasitic attitude, an unconscious wish to feed on the partner, to expect him to supply the content of her life, to take responsibility for her, to solve all her difficulties and to make her a great person without her having to make efforts of her own. This trend had alienated her not only from other people but also from the partner himself, because the unavoidable disappointments she felt when her secret expectations of him remained unfulfilled gave rise to a deep inner irritation; most of this irritation was repressed for fear of losing the partner, but some of it emerged in occasional explosions. Another consequence was that she could not enjoy anything except when she shared it with the partner. The most general consequences of this trend were that her relationships served only to make her more insecure and more passive. #RandolphHarris 17 of 20

In speaking and writing, if the self-actualized is conscious of difficulties, obstacles, or interference in what one is doing, one should at once refuse all ideas, thoughts, suggestions, visions (id est, pictures to the mind), words, impressions, that the spirits of psychopathological offenders may be seeking to insert or press upon one, so that one may be able to cooperate with the Holy Spirit and have a clarified mind for the carrying out of God’s will. The self-actualized, by one’s refusal and resistance against supernatural attempts to interfere with one’s outer human, will be actively resisting the powers of darkness, while one seeks to co-work with the Holy Spirit within one’s spirit. At first this means much conflict, but as one maintains active resistance and increasingly closes one’s whole being to the influence of psychopathological offenders, and is on the alert to recognize and refuse their workings, one’s union with the Risen Lord deepens, one’s spirit grows strong, one’s vision becomes pure, one’s mental faculties are clear enough to realize a perpetual victory over the foes who once had one in their oppressive power. One must then be especially on guard against what may be described as the “double counterfeits” of the deceiving psychopathological offenders. That I, the counterfeits offered by the enemy in connection with attack upon oneself. For example, the ultimate negative attacks one manifestly and openly, so that one clearly knows it to be an onslaught of the spirit-beings of psychopathological offenders. One prays, resists, gets through to victory in one’s will and spirit. If one is not on guard, then comes a “great feeling” of peace and rest, which may be as much an attack as the original onslaught, but more subtle and liable to mislead the believer. The enemy, by suddenly retreating and ceasing the furious attack, hopes by this stratagem to gain the advantage which one failed to obtain at the first. #RandolphHarris 18 of 20

Judgement—the belief that “this and that is so.” Thus, judgment contains the avowal that an “identical case” has been encountered: it thus presupposed comparison, with the aid of recollection. Judgement does not create the appearance of an identical case. Rather, it believes it perceives one; it works under the presupposition that there are in general identical cases. What is that function, which must be much older, operative much earlier, which levels off and stimulates? Stimulating” is probably the bet adjective of our interpretation of history. The sweep and vigour of our thought offers a richly developed theology of history to those who accept it, and a formidable challenge to those who criticize it. Perhaps one’s most original contribution is the concept of Kairos. Erich Przywara sees in it the key to our thought, for the Kairos Christi is the supreme conflict between the divine and the demonic in which the Kingdom of God overcomes and takes up into itself the Kingdom of Satan. The Kairos idea lies behind the idea that there is a time in which certain things are true and other times in which they do not apply. This accounts for the changing norms of theology. Theimplications of the Kairos concept probably can be expanded to accommodate these viewpoints, but ambitious claims for its importance should not obscure its primary role in the interpretation of history. The Kairos concept, the subject-object structure of history, the group as opposed to the individual or mankind as the bearer of history, the creation of the new as one of the marks of historical time, the inner-historical and transcendent nature of the Kingdom of God—there is still a certain incompleteness about it. One is more puzzled about what one does not say than about what one actually says. There are several major instances where one’s reticence is disappointing. #RandolphHarris 19 of 20

If a kind of equalization had not first been exercised within the sensations: recollection is only possible with a constant underscoring of what is already accustomed, experienced, otherwise there could be no judgments at all. Before anything is judged, the process of assimilation must already be completed: thus, here, too, there is an intellectual activity that does not enter into consciousness, like pain following from an injury. An inner event probably corresponds to all organic functions, hence an assimilating, eliminating, growing, et cetera. Essential: to begin with the body and use it as a guiding thread. It is the much richer phenomenon and affords clearer observation. Belief in the body is better established than belief in the mind. However strongly something may be believed, that is no criterion of truth. However, what is truth? Perhaps a kind of belief that has become a condition of life? Then, of course, strength would be a criterion, exempli gratia with regard to causality. Remove far from me falsehood and lies; give me neither poverty nor riches, but feed me with mine allotted bread, lest I become arrogant and defiant, saying, “Who is the Lord?” Or lest I become poor and be tempted to steal, thus profaning the name of my God. Better is a little with righteousness, than great wealth with injustice. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic, for which it stands, one Nation, Under God, Indivisible with Liberty and Justice for all. That I am the Lord who doeth mercy, justice, and righteousness on Earth, for in these do I delight. The Sacramento Fire Department is a nonprofit organization that helps families build and improve places to call home. They believe that everyone should live in a community that is not threatened by the destruction of fire, which could lead to the loss of lives. Please take time to donate for they are not receiving all of their resources. #RandolphHarris 20 of 20

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