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You Cannot Make it Unless You Meet a Prince

The reasonable man adapts himself to the World; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the World to himself. This is same disregard for feasibility which pervades the drive for actualization. Many of these demands are of a kind which no human being could fulfill. They are plainly fantastic, although the person himself is not aware of it. He cannot help it, however, as soon as his expectations are exposed to the clear light of critical thinking. If anything, such an intellectual realization, however, usually does not usually change much. Let us say that a physician may have clearly realized that he cannot do intensive scientific work in addition to a nine-hour practice and an extensive social life; yet, after abortive attempts to cut down one or another activity, he keeps going at the same pace. His demands that limitations in time and energies should not exist for him are stronger than reason. Or take a more subtle illustration. At an analytic session, a patient was dejected. She had talked with a friend about the latter’s material problems, which were complicated. My patient knew the husband only from social situations. Yet, although she had been in analysis for several years and had enough understanding of the psychological intricacies involved in any relationship between two people to know better, she felt that she should have been able to tell her friend whether or not the marriage was tenable. #RandolphHarris 1 of 27

I told her that she expected something of herself which was impossible for anybody, and pointed out the multitude of questions to be clarified before one could even begin to have a more than dim impression of factors operating in the situation. It turned out then that she had been aware of most of the difficulties I had pointed out. However, she had still felt that she should have a kind of sixth sense penetrating all of them. Other demands on self may not be fantastic in themselves yet show a complete disregard for the conditions under which their analysis has little to do with intelligence. The reasoning power which these people have may, in fact, be used to obstruct progress. What counts are the emotional forces operating in the patients, their capacity to be straight and to assume responsibility for themselves. This expectation of easy success operates not only in reference to the length of the whole analysis, but equally so in regard to an individual insight gained. For instance, recognizing some of their neurotic claims seems to them the equivalent of having outgrown them altogether. That it requires patient work; that the claims will persist as long as the emotional necessities for having them are not changed—all of this they ignore. They believe that their intelligence should be a supreme moving power. Naturally, then, subsequent disappointment and discouragement are unavoidable. #RandolphHarris 2 of 27

In a similar way, a teacher may expect that, with her long experience in teaching, it should be easy for her to write a paper on a pedagogical subject. If the words do not flow from her pen, she feels utterly disgusted with herself. She ignored or discarded such relevant questions as: Has she something to say? Have her experiences crystallized to some useful formulations? And even if the answers are affirmative, a paper still means plain work in formulating and expressing thoughts. The inner dictates, exactly like political tyranny in a police state, operate with a supreme disregard for the person’s own psychic condition—for what he can feel or do as he is at present. One of the frequent shoulds, for instance, is that one should never feel hurt. As absolute (which is implied in the “never”) anyone would find this extremely hard to achieve. How many people have been, or are, so secure in themselves, so serene, as never to feel hurt? This could at best be an ideal toward which we might strive. To take such a project seriously must mean intense and patient work at our unconscious claims for defense, at our false pride—or, in short, at every factor in our personality that makes us vulnerable. However, the person who feels that he should never feel hurt does not have so concrete a program in mind. He simply issues an absolute order to himself, denying or overriding the fact of his existing vulnerability. #RandolphHarris 3 of 27

One patient revealed that she does not believe that she needs to experience a number of outside relationships to become happier about herself and things in general. However, after being with this particular person, she thought of nothing but sleeping with every man who appealed to her. She would walk down the street and look at everybody and wonder whether they are looking at her and what would they be like to sleep with. And somehow, just this one experience with a man, which was not terrific and did not make her terribly happy in regards to pleasures of the flesh, was enough to make her feel much more excited about being with people. It gave her a new feeling about life, which she never had with her husband because she was so dragged down and smudged. The pleasures of the flesh with this man made herself more like herself again, which contradicts what she initially said. This experience made her more aware of what she was as an individual as opposed to what her husband wanted her to be. She was living exactly according to the traditional image of the female, because her husband could not accept anything else. And one morning, she woke up and said, “I hate cleaning the house, and I want somebody to help me, and I’d like to sculpt in the middle of the night and paint in the middle of the night alone. And I want privacy and I want individuality and I want to be recognized for being a girl—not even so young any more!—with interests. I am human and an individual and also female, and I don’t want to be submerged in this housewife role.” #RandolphHarris 4 of 27

She deferred to her husband to the point where she almost forgot who she was or what she wanted or what she thought. However, it was her who decided that it was her role as a woman to please a man and therefore completely to submerge her own identity. This woman claimed that she was not going to hunt for relationships because she was more interested in quality than quantity. Although she wants to end up with a man and that she wants to be able to relate to a man, she admits does not know what she wants. It seems that she is mostly busy trying to remember all the things she wanted to feel and activate the things she wanted to do. She seems to be desperate for some kind of communication and relationships with men are just to serve a purpose and not to be permanent. This woman seems to be indulging herself in a Walter Mitty-type fantasy. This would be understandable under the circumstances since she has just begun to break out of her marriage and has used infidelity as a springboard. The danger lies in the possibility that this fantasy expresses a more fundamental aspect of her personality, an immaturity that is more Peter Pan than Walter Mitty—reflecting a wish not to grow up. When this is the case, a man or a woman uses extramarital affairs as a way of avoiding responsibility for the achievement of an enduring relationship. #RandolphHarris 5 of 27

For an affair, after all, can be an opportunity for growth, a chance to experience more than simply pleasure of the flesh—a chance to work at a relationship so that it will sustain intimate passions and even intensify them. The alternative is to go from one partner to another, experiencing little beyond a temporary relief of frustration with pleasures of the flesh. This is clearly not her intention—intellectually, at least. The danger lies in the ease with which good intentions dissolve in the face of easy opportunities to act otherwise. Marriage is, among other things, a challenge to two individuals to find their identities by meeting the responsibilities that arise in the natural course of events, but affairs have no such built-in challenges. It is all too easy to continue an affair only to the point where it requires an individual to grow up, to accept some responsibility for his or her own development and to invest attention and feeling and energy in developing a long-rage relationship rather than concentrating it all on short-term pampering of the individual self. One way to integrate your authoritative personality and your marginalized personality is to accept the paradox that both exist in you and they are equal, like a two-party system in politics or a battery with positive and negative poles. A democracy collapses without opposing, equally strong political parties. #RandolphHarris 6 of 27

A battery will not work without the positive and negative electrical charges, and a healthy human being cannot function at the fully human level without both strength and weakness, love and anger. You have to listen to both sides, both your weak marginalized self and your authoritative self. By accepting and listen to both sides of yourself, the antagonistic poles become complementary. When both sides of ourselves are accepted equally, the power of integration occurs. Another way to integrate your authoritative self and your marginalized self is to express your feelings as accurately as possible. For example, if your husband is flirting, you may tell yourself that it does not really bother you. However, what do you really feel? When he interrupts your conversation to tell some waitress how terrific she looks, it is irritating, right? Do you tell him? No. Because you do not want to ruin your marriage with jealousy. Because you love him. Do you feel loving at those times? Not really, right? You actually feel inadequate. Are you inadequate? If you are not inadequate, then what are you? You are made at him, correct? It really hurts being ignored by the man you love. Those closer a woman comes to accurately expressing her feelings, the more she is able to: integrate her authoritative personality with her marginalized, and resolve the dichotomy that is robing her of her self-esteem and falsifying her communications. However, not all women are in a position to do this because of the dynamics of their relationship. #RandolphHarris 7 of 27

Some women had to manipulate a man into marrying them, others are dependent on his money, or maybe a combination of both. So, they have had to be subservient in their relationships to keep a man. Other are dating abusive men. For woman in this position, asserting her authority could be disastrous and even deadly. As Maslow says, in healthier people, dichotomies are resolved, and polarities disappear. Learning to listen to both your authoritative and marginalized personalities—giving them equal time, so to speak, and learning to accurately express your feelings—telling the truth, enables you to integrate your warring factions and transcend your manipulations. Often the hypnogogic experiences are just out of reach of what can be remembered unless they are immediately recorded, which action tends to disrupt the state. When I was suffering from infirmary for so long and living alone, I learned to “stay with” what was going on until I felt that I had it clear and firm, so that it seemed that it could not possibly escape me. However, when I made a movement, it was gone—utterly. Even shifting a leg or moving an arm or thinking a thought would break up this authoritative personality. Surely, this is not completely alien to anyone, when all have known arriving at something in our heads and then some movement or other interruption broke it up and we lost it? #RandolphHarris 8 of 27

In much the same way, some women are frightened at causing a rift in their relationships. However, for me, there was something else that annoyed me even more, in terms of wishing to present proof of what can go on in me that is intelligent beyond my usual intelligence: when I did manage to move my body without losing the knowing and wrote some notes—clues to the much more, which I hoped would serve as an anchor so that I could recapture the rest—I lost the rest. The clues by themselves read like nonsense—as a list of errands in one’s private code does to someone else. However, my clues were not to familiar things which could easily be related to each other by myself: they were clues to ideas, to explanations, to knowings and understandings so great that when I looked at my clues I thought, “It is like trying to put a woolly mammoth through a funnel. What comes through does not look much like a woolly mammoth.” Is this difficulty any more “mystic” or “irrational” than what these woman are going through? The mind is multidimensional to an impossible degree, whereas any description is limited to one dimension. Language can describe only one sequence of events at a time; if several occur simultaneously, language has to jump to and fro among the parallel lines, creating difficulties, if not confusion, for a listener. A further, almost insurmountable, complication is caused by the fact that mental events not only take place simultaneously along parallel lines, but influence each other profoundly. #RandolphHarris 9 of 27

It seems to me that this is why reliance on verbal communication gets us into so much trouble. I can never say to you completely what is going on in me. When I use words, this sounds (and is) inadequate and unconvincing. If I then go on to express other parts of what is going on in me, it takes so long, and you become tired of listening. You want to know what is really going on in me, as if there were only one thing which could be real. And I, aware of what was going on in me, now notice that his has changed and throw in the towel. It is when my total organism receives from you, through non-verbal communication or some mixture of non-verbal and verbal communication, that I am closest to knowing what goes on in you. Little Pink Riding Hood was an orphan, and she used to sit in a clearing in the forest waiting for someone wo needed help to pass by. Sometimes she would wander down the paths in case anyone needed her in another part of the woods. She was very poor and could not offer very much, but whatever she had, she shared freely. She could hold thing when people needed an extra pair of hands, and her head was full of wise precepts which she had learned from her parents while they were still alive. She was also full of merry quips, and she liked to cheer up men who were scared of getting lost in the forest. In this way she made many friends. However, she was nearly always alone on weekends because then everybody went on picnics in the meadows and left her alone and a little scared herself to be in the forest. Sometimes they invited her to go along, but as she got older this happened less and less often. #RandolphHarris 10 of 27

She led a different life from Little Red Riding Hood, and in fact the one time they met, they did not get along well together. Little Red Riding Hoos was hurrying through the forest and passed by the clearing where Little Pink Riding Hood sat. She stopped to say Hello, and the two of them looked at each other for a minute, thinking they might become friends because they looked a little bit like each other except that one wore a pink cloak and the other a red one. “Where are you going?” asked Pink. “I’ve never seen you around here before.” “I’m taking my grandmother some sandwiches my mother made,” replied Red. “Oh, how nice,” said Pink. “I don’t have any mother.” “Furthermore,” said Red proudly, “when I get to my grandmother’s, I’m going to be eaten by a wolf—I think.” “Oh,” said Pink. “Well, a sandwich a day keeps the wolf away. And it’s a wise child that knows her own wolf when she meets him.” “I don’t think those merry quips are funny,” said Red. “So good-by.” “How stuck-up can you get?” asked Pink. However, Red had already departed. “She has no sense of humor,” thought Pink to herself, “but I think she needs help.” So Little Pink Riding Hood struck out into the forest to find a hunter who would protect Little Red Riding Hood from the wolf. Eventually she found one, an old friend of hers, and she told him that Little Red Riding Hood was in trouble. She followed him to the door of the hut where Red’s grandmother lived and saw everything that happened there: Little Red in bed with the wolf, the wolf trying to eat her, the hunter killing to wolf, and he and Little Red laughing and joking as they cut the wolf open and put stones in his belly. #RandolphHarris 11 of 27

However, Red did not even bother to thank Pink, which made Pink sad. And after it was all over, the hunter was better friends with Red than he had been with Pink, which made Pink even sadder. She was so sad that she began to eat peppy berries every day, and then she could not sleep, so she would eat sleepy berries at night. She was still a cute kid and still liked to help people, but sometimes she thought the best thing to do would be to take an overdose of sleepy berries. Clinical Analysis: Little Pink Riding Hood is an orphan, or has reason to feel like one. She is a cute kid, full of wise precepts and merry quips, but she leaves it to others to do the real thinking, organize things, and carry them through. She is conscientious and always ready to help people, and has many “friends” as a result, but somehow, she usually gets left out in the end. She then begins to drink and take stimulating drugs and sleeping pills, and often thinks of suicide. After she says Hello, she makes merry quips, but that is only to pass the time until she has a chance to ask: “Can I help you with anything?” Thus, she could have a “deep” relationship with a loser, but did not do so well with winners after the quips were over. Clinical Diagnosis: Chronic-depressive reaction. Little Pink Riding Hood is a loser’s script, since everything she gets, she loses. It is a Goal-structured Cannot script, with the standard slogan: “You cannot make it unless you meet a Prince.” It is based on a “Never” plan, “Never ask for anything for yourself.” After she says Hello, she proves she is a helpful, cute kid. #RandolphHarris 12 of 27

Theological philosophy is based on logic. Scientific philosophy is based on reason. I uphold rationalism against intellectualism, the thinking power in man against the classifying power, the mind which evaluates thoughts against the mind which merely collects and describes them. So long as these two faculties of human kind—reason and imagination—are surrendered to its animal side, so long will they prevent the real human being from being born. The victories of reason are the only enduring ones. When we abdicate reason for unquestioning belief, when we sign away out birthright of private judgment to another man, we part with a precious possession. Reason is active in the developed man. He cannot stop it from demanding a cause for an effect. I took this use of the term “Reason” from Aristotle, who made it higher than ordinary intellect, as well as creative, spiritual, eternal, and undying. The faculty of discrimination which we are to use in the pursuit of truth is not the intellect but the true Reason, which itself judges the intellect and rejects or confirms what it says. The conclusion to which reason comes can only have obligatory force upon the reason itself, not necessarily upon the whole integral being of man. We are finally to decide the problems of life by the integration of all our human nature and not merely by the judgment of a particular part of it. To make life a matter only of rational concepts about it is to reduce it, is to make a cold abstraction from it, and thus to fall into the fallacy of taking the part for the whole. #RandolphHarris 13 of 27

Metaphysical concepts may fully satisfy the demands of the totality of our being. They satisfy reason because they are the products of reason itself. However, man is more than a reasoning being. His integral structure demands the feeling and the fact as well as the concept of it, the feeling as well as the idea of it. So long as he knowns it only with a limited part of his being, only as empty of emotional content and divorced from physical experience, so long will it remain incompletely known, half-seized as it were. It is at this crucial point that the seek must realize the limitations of metaphysics and be ready to put aside as having fulfilled its particular purpose that which he has hitherto valued as a truth-path. It is impossible for the modern mind to encounter such experiences without seeking their explanation. And therefore, it is of little practical use for a master to tell his followers not to trouble their heads about the reason why such things happen or not to ask questions about the meanings and purpose of the World. Reasoning, in its highest sense, transcends mere logic and welcomes the alliance of meditation; out of their union comes wisdom, peace, balance, and so, blessing. The man whose chariot is driven by reason holding well the reins of his mind, reaches the end of his journey, the Supreme Pervading Spirit. Beyond the senses is the mind, and beyond mind is reason…beyond reason is the great Self. We may reject reason’s ideas about Divinity but in the end it is reason we have to rely upon to support the ideas which authority, tradition, emotion, or faith put forward. The agnostic, even the atheist, is a believer, too. Only he has more faith in the validity of reason than in the validity of intuition. Yet it is only the reason’s own vanity that asserts that its validity is a higher one. #RandolphHarris 14 of 27

Just as we ought not muse emotion, so we ought not misuse reason. We may use reason to justify an intuition, provided we use it faithfully and not to flatter our prejudices or prepossessions. We shall then be as ready to examine critically searchingly and impartially our own conclusions as those of an opponent. Reason properly used will critically examine an emotion which is leading one astray, whereas improperly used it will uncritically defend such an emotion. It will not hesitate to puncture the ego’s inflated compliancy in the first case whereas it will support his complacency in the second one. How often is reason judgment pushed aside by mere physical appeal which obscures what is below the surface. A person’s body concept includes everything the person believes about the structure, capabilities, and limits of his or her body. As with any other concept—one’s concept of other people, of animals—the body concept may be accurate or inaccurate, complete or incomplete. An accurate body concept is important for achieving healthy personality. Accuracy of the body concept is achieved by all of the means employed to arrive at reality-tested knowledge in general: through observation, through continual verification of conclusions, and through contact with reliable authorities and sources of knowledge. However, many persons have been taught erroneous belief about diet, healthy, requirements, and the like. #RandolphHarris 15 of 27

Further, a person may become so alienated from the body (as part of the more general process of self-alienation) that the person loses the capacity to “listen” to the body, the capacity for somatic perception. Thus, some people may fail to recognize that inadequate diet, lack of exercise, insufficient rest, and excessive self-indulgence are gradually weakening their bodies. To the extent that a person has knowledge of the effects of various things on health, then to that extent the person’s body welfare is his or her own responsibility. In societies where medical knowledge is not available, people may have erroneous beliefs about the causes of health and of illness. Consequently, one may observe that entire sector of a population suffers from some chronic ailment that they all accept as “natural,” as part of the scheme of living, for instance, rickets or Tuberculosis. It is only from the standpoint of the contemporary scientific concept of the body that it becomes possible to make judgements about how healthy (or sick) and entire society might be. Some overprotected people grown up ignorant of the process of reproduction; a nineteen-year-old student of mine believed that the menstruation only occurred in virgins; once a woman engaged in pleasures of the flesh, she stopped menstruating. She could not discuss biological questions with her mother, and she was too embarrassed to talk about pleasures of the flesh with her better-informed girlfriends. Aging person with false pride may misjudge their strength and endanger their health through overexercise. However, just as persons may overestimate their bodies’ capacity, so may they underestimate it. We are all tougher than we have been led to believe. #RandolphHarris 16 of 27

It is extremely important to engage with and train community-based partners to improve the outcomes of at-risk populations. The Sacramento Fire Department seeks to guide practitioners, researchers, policy makers, funding organizations, and other stakeholders in understanding and using the available evidence to inform their decision making. It also seeks to demonstrate methodologies and other interested researchers to evaluate complex interventions. With the Sacramento Fire Department, they speak of resources in terms of the three M’s—men, money, and materials. To these three, they must add time. However, there is a distinct difference between time and the three other resources. If they do not use their own money or materials today, they are available tomorrow. To a lesser degree, this is also true of men. It is not at all true of time, for time is a highly perishable commodity. An hour lost today is lost forever! To success in the Sacramento Fire Department, you must competently manage your resources—people, materials, and information. However, perhaps the most precious resource you must manage is time. You cannot replace it once it is gone. Time management can also be called, “personal management,” since you are the only thing you can control. The time-management sills you develop as a fire fighter and a student will set a pattern for you as a future captain. That is why you must cultivate a process for effectively managing time today. #RandolphHarris 17 of 27

In the Sacramento Fire Department, you encounter significant barriers to effective time management. However, you can overcome those barriers by setting goals and using systematic techniques. Time management is a system for getting things done as efficiently and productively as possible. You assume leadership responsibilities in the Sacramento Fire Department, your time will become even more valuable and its management more complex. You will need to manage not just your own time, but also the time of those you lead. When you put an efficient time-management system into action, you become a more effective leader because your team members perceive the value you place on both your time and theirs. The respect you show for their time will support everyone’s efforts to become more efficient as the unit works toward meeting tsk deadlines and completing the mission schedule. However, it all starts in college and training, where your studies require significant time-management skills. Your success at cultivating good time-management skills depends on your ability to set aside enough time for each of your classes, sports, and other activities. Doing this efficiently requires that Sacramento firefighters recognize time wasters (black holes). Set goals that reduce patterns of wasted time, and implement a system of the POWER model. The POWER model, discussed later, moved firefighters toward their personal, professional, and career goals. #RandolphHarris 18 of 27

How does the value you place on time management translate into your team members wasting less time? Is there a trickle-down effect? Pick a goal you have set for yourself: Make enough money to buy a car; graduate with honours; land a summer internship with the Sacramento Fire Department; improve your English language kills. Now turn it into a SMART goal. What did you learn about yourself and your goal? In your schedule, “black holes” are spaces of time that eat into your productivity and prevent you from reaching your goals and the goals of others you work with. Black holes devour productive time and consume your efficiency. You will learn that a lot of your associates, peers, and friends are black holes. The ability to identify black holes is the first and most important aspect of good time management. To do this, you should conduct an informal inventory of how you use your time. Consider a typical week and, within that week, a typical day. Most people are surprised at how much of their time is unfocused and unstructured—putting things off—and distracters—things that take you away from your planned work or activities. One way to fight procrastination is to realize that it will only make things worse. Putting off an easy thing makes it hard, and putting off a hard one makes it impossible. Distracters are often subtle. They might be talking on the phone with friends or relatives, losing track of time while Instant Messaging (IM) or playing video games, or helping other people on their projects. Or you may face an unexpected change in your work schedule. #RandolphHarris 19 of 27

Learning to deal with distracters—saying no when necessary; turning off your cell phone, the IM, or the video game; negotiating your schedule with your supervisor; even finding a different spot to work or study away from distractions—builds the discipline that helps you stay on course. Trying to overcome these two sources of black holes in your life goes a long way toward improving your use of available time. Additionally, the better you get at completing work on schedule, the better you will get at scheduling time for recreation, hobbies, social activities, and other things you enjoy. Goal setting is a critical part of managing your time. If you do not know where you are going, how can you possibly calculate how long it will take you to get there? If you want one of these new smart homes, you have to start by making yourself smart. The SMART model: Specific: make the goal concrete and clear. Measurable: Decide how you will measure success in reaching the goal. Achievable: Keep goals reasonable—milestones are helpful. Realistic: Consider other factors that may affect the goal. Time-bound: make yourself accountable for a specific date. The POWER Model. Prepare: Set SMART goals. Organize: Keep a calendar to know where you are, where you have been, and what is ahead. Work: Work on establishing boundaries for your time—prioritize activities, and avoid procrastinating, learn when to say no, and keep track of how long important tasks take. Evaluate: Review how you are spending your time. Rethink: Explore better and better ways of managing your time—identify what you need to change, and enter the God mode. #RandolphHarris 20 of 27

The SMART model for goal setting is a useful starting point for filling up black holes with useful activities—activities that get you where you want to go on your mission, in your career, and in your life. One you have established your goals, you need to apply an effective time-management system to reach them. Practice techniques of good time management, such as completing tasks before moving to the next item or limiting distractions when doing exercise or homework. Some useful tools include c calendar, a weekly schedule, and a To-Do list. You can find sophisticated time-management assistants at an office-supply store or perhaps a book store. Your personal computer may also have useful time-management software. In applying any time-management strategy, it is a good idea to keep in mind that you must be flexible. Since on one can foresee the future, you need to be willing to modify your plans to accommodate events and even a few surprises. Using time more efficiently than the enemy is the first requirement of victory. Successful time management is a never-ending process. It is time to take control of your time using the SMART technique and POWER model you have learned. Start today! Common sense assists the triumph of reason over sentimentality. The faculty of reason also has two phases; the lower is practical and reaches perfection in the scientist; the higher is abstract and reaches perfection in the metaphysician. #RandolphHarris 21 of 27

If we bury our reason alive, so much the worse for us. Its wraith will rise up one day and sneer in revenge at our silly errors and self-made troubles. The utmost use of the reasoning faculties cannot always provide for every factor in a situation. There are some only which intuition can grasp—the Universal laws, for instance. This explains the miscalculations of men who possess the most highly developed rationality but who lack a counterbalancing development of intuition. “I wasn’t a particular religious person before my injury, and I’m not a fanatic now, but I do attend church a lot more regularly and say prayers more. The only way I can figure it out, the gift of life dame through Jesus. I went back and looked at the accident scene, and there is no way I should have lived. I should be dead right now. Today, I’m on administrative detail, I’m doing a job I really don’t want to do, in fire prevention. I give 100 percent while I’m working, but it’s not where my heart is at. Riding around a street, going to inspect a building, I’ll here an alarm come in, and I’m like the old fire horse that’s pulling a milk wagon. I wander over and want to go to the fireground. I’ll stand around and watch, and it’s like you want to get in there. My back is healed enough, and I feel I could do the job. The doctors say they think I can do it, but they’re afraid of the way we live in the fire department. It’s all uncontrolled. You’re on the ladder and you’re reaching for somebody—you’re on the roof and you’re falling—and you grab something. #RandolphHarris 22 of 27

“If it were the type of work where you’re lifting boxes all day, I mean you can stand there and lift, but fire department lifting it totally different. I mean, you could be on a stairway and the stairway could give out, and the next thing you know a ladder could come down on you. So right now they don’t want me going back into the fires. The chief of the fire department has worked with me, and he could have told me to get the hell out, but he said we’ll wait and see. If it comes to the time that the doctors are not going to change their minds, then I’ll take a permanent job. The alternative is to take the pension and get out, do something different. I don’t think that I could. I could go out and train myself. I could do contracting work. If I needed to go to school, I’d go to school. No matter what I wanted to do, I could do it, I think. I have no doubt in myself. But at my age—I’m getting up to thirty-eight—they’re not hiring people out there. There are no jobs around, really. I could get an insurance job, you know, underwriting or adjustment, but I wouldn’t want it. I like feeling the way I do about myself when I put the uniform on. I get up and come to work, I look forward to coming to work. I look forward to doing my job with the people I work with. I mean, you meet any fireman, you’ve got something in common with him. I was on a night inspection at a restaurant, and a chief from Santa Clara was there. He introduced himself, and we must have talked for forty-five minutes. Things like that. If I was an insurance salesman and went into a restaurant, nobody would know. And if they did, they wouldn’t give a damn. #RandolphHarris 23 of 27

“It’s an interesting life. There are great feelings of satisfaction. One of the rescues I had was basement fire. I got a man out of there. We were the third engine in, and I was leading off. The radio said there were people trapped down there. I came up and said, ‘Did you find the people yet?’ the guys were like, ‘No. No.’ Nobody was going down to look. I was like, ‘Bubba, get your ass in there.’ I went down and made a search, and on the first search, there he was. I had him up and out and back to where he lived. If I hadn’t acted, he probably would have died. I had one fire where there was a picture in the newspaper of a lieutenant brining a kid down the ladder, but I had handed the kid out. It was the same thing. Guys were searching in the room, and I just made a turn and went to the other room, and bang, there the kid was in the corner. I went right at him, and there was the guy right on the ladder, and it was perfect. Those types of things. It’s the kind of job where even before you’re out of fire school, you know if you want to do this type of work or not. You get people who are afraid of heights, putting a mask on. If you make it through that, it’s a rewarding job. You touch more people’s lives than you think just by doing the job, even if it’s just going out and pumping a flooded basement, or going out on inspection and showing them about a cord on their car, or smoke detector programs. It touches you to know that you’re helping people that way, that it’s true purpose of your job, and that your job is to protect the citizens. It’s going to make you feel good. If you’re doing your job right, you’re going to feel good about it. #RandolphHarris 24 of 27

“I miss the excitement, the chance to do the things that make you feel good, making a rescue, cutting somebody out of a car, helping somebody out of a window. Even a vacant building fire, when you put the ashes out and you look back, it makes you feel good that you did it. You pull up, and it’s all fire, and you say, ‘Oh man.’ And you get in there, and it’s out, and you feel good about yourself. I guess it’s like a pitcher pitching a no-hitter. I mean, it worked good, everybody feels good, and they’re all smiling. You’re out in twenty below at four in the morning, but, ‘Good job, good job.’ You get back, you sit around and have coffee and talk about it. That feeling is great. You go out and inspect a building, and you say, ‘The guy needs an extinguisher, big deal.’ Some guys on inspection don’t consider themselves part of the department, they don’t want to have the radio scanner on and hear that noise. It’s the way you feel about doing the job. I’ve always given 100 percent, and I feel good no matter what, if it’s a trash fire, a pot of food, whatever. I never shirked my duties, I was always in there, and nobody can say, ‘He’s a bum.’ I’m always with the people, with the men. You look back at old pumpers. When I came in, we were still using 1945 Macks. In ten more years, they’ll look at an old Mack picture and say, ‘My God, these guys used to stand on the back steps.’ Riding the truck company, that was the biggest thing, just riding on the side, and when they turned you just turned your head that way. #RandolphHarris 25 of 27

“I remember it pulling out, and if you didn’t run down the street and jump on it, then that was it. You’d get up there and ride the truck to the fire. It’s changed now. It changed for the better because of safety. You look at what people did, they worked twenty-three hours and had one off; they went home and ate, and came back and put in another twenty-three hours. The only reason those guys did it was because they felt the same way I do. Why else would a person do the job for the money you make? It’s because you like it, and because of the tradition. You look around and see all the firemen dying of cancer. But there is only so much you can do to make the job safe and still do the job. Hopefully, it never gets to the point where you’ll be standing on the sidewalk and somebody’s house is on fire, and you say, ‘I’m sorry, ma’am, we have to let it burn down.’ It’s taken ten years off my life. A guy who came through school with me died of cancer. This guy was thirty-seven years old. I’m an old guy now, still in my thirties. When I came in the department, there were guys in their forties and fifties, and it was like, ‘Is that old man still in here? When is the old bastard leaving?’ I guess I’m the old guy in the department now, even though I’m still young. If I were a banker, I would hope to live to be seventy or eighty, but if a fireman makes it to fifty, he takes his pension, and a month later he’s dying of some weird disease.” Those sceptics who reject the possibility of attaining truth are already stating something as truth and thereby refuting their own theory. #RandolphHarris 26 of 27

If you are in an intersection when you see an emergency vehicle, continue through the intersection. Drive to the right as soon as it is safe and stop. Obey any direction, order, or signal given by a law enforcement officer, or a firefighter. Even if they conflict with existing signs, signals, or laws, follow their orders. When their siren or flashing lights are on, it is against the law to follow within 300 feet of any fire engine, law enforcement vehicle, ambulance, or other emergency vehicle. If you drive to the scene of a fire, collision, or other disaster, you can be arrested. When you do this, you are getting in the way of firefighters, ambulance crews, or other rescue and emergency personnel. The concept of professional courage does not always mean being as tough as nails, either. It also suggests a willingness to listen to other peoples’ problems, to go to bat for them in a tough situation and it means knowing just how far they can go. It also means being willing to tell the boss when he or she is wrong. As a reminder, parents, pleasure teach your children love America and be patriotic citizens and to buy goods and services made in America. It is also important to respect law and order and treat your elders with respect. To help our firefighters, pleasure donate to the Sacramento Fire Department to ensure they have all the resources they require. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic, for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all. #RandolphHarris 27 of 27


Never has there been a building so talked about. You will find The Winchester Mystery House in what was once the countryside known as “Winchester Valley,” where it has left past guests feeling a little spooked passing through certain rooms. It is well known for its reputation of being the world’s most haunted location. Do you fear the dark? Does the idea of the supernatural scare you? Do you sometimes anticipate the worst that can happen to you? Do you shiver when you read about victims of violent crime and think “that could have been me?” Does life seem insane? When you walk through the twisting hallways of The Winchester Mansion, are you apprehensive about what might be around the next corner? While standing at the door-to-nowhere, have you ever worried that life may have no meaning? Are you anxious that the next day might be your last? Do your days sometimes seem irremediably gloomy? Are you afraid of dying? We have examined your case thoroughly and think you will find the antidote for your condition at The Winchester Mystery House. A daily dose of horror is just the tonic you need. If fortifies the spirit with bracing jolts of terror. It inoculates the soul against fears that hound us all. It quickens the reflexes against life’s inhospitable surprises and tempers the imagination with thoughts unthinkable. Here you will find madmen in a variety of shapes and sizes who will help make things seem more rational. Feeling a bit self-absorbed? There is nothing like a tale of Mrs. Winchester’s hauntings to give you the right perspective.

The Winchester Estate dates back to the late 19th century, and it has a history that is packed full of legends and stories of spirits. The guided post-sunset walk takes visitors through the history of the mansion, while also offering a chance to spot some of the more well-known Winchester ghosts. There are stories of a little girl playing in the hallways and tugging at bedcovers at night and a woman in white who crosses the courtyard and passes through the walls. Lightening in colours no one can name sear across the infinite and multihued sky in jagged shards the size of which no one can conceive. Alien winds scream their impossible being in warring cacophony of notes no one can ever believe at volumes none can bear. And when the winds pick up on the fourth floor of the mansion, they make an eerie whining noise. It sounds as if everything around you is screaming. Right before a quick scratching sound, then something flares. A small spot of light glides like a firefly toward you. Another flare, then a dull yellow flow. A thin man has been said to step into the light. “Found some others out there,” is all he says before disappearing before your very eyes, and then everything is absolute darkness. Outside, the winds are said to kick up; it screams across the night. Well, maybe it is the wind. We all know the story of The Winchester Mansion.

The carpenters, who worked day and night for 36 years to build the mansion, that was once nine stories high, containing as many as 600 rooms. They knew the area was dense in spiritual energy. The hallways often possessed a great river of shadows. As these men felt a moan rising from a core of solid fear, they were so afraid that they would stand frozen for the space of one deep, shuddering breath. It was believed even the objects they could see were enemies, because they were keeping secrets. They knew, but were not telling. The cold quiet of The Winchester Mansion was a familiar song. Often, Mrs. Winchester’s guests would crough down, huddling against the floor, until help arrived. The mansion is situated over the crossing of two Ley Lines. In these areas, the veneer between the physical and spirit realms is thinner and much more permeable. This permeability and natural energy allow entities to manifest much more readily than in a normal location. Any thought or action in these areas, whether positive or negative has a much stronger and more focused effect. In the case of The Winchester Mansion decades of compounded suffering, negativity and strong emotional experiences have left a marked effect on the atmosphere in and around the mansion.

Some tour guides have heard chanting coming from outside the mansion and have heard their names being called. Others have reported seeing a woman hovering in the mansion. Although her journals are sometimes vague, Mrs. Winchester experienced bizarre poltergeist activity during construction. She mentions to a friend the incredible amount of poltergeist activity that occurred during the time spent building the front of the mansion. One night, when darkness fell, the mansion was filled with eerie music like nothing Mrs. Winchester had ever heard before. Creatures from her maddest nightmares filled into the Grand Ball Room in some kind of funeral procession. She watched from the hallway, terrified of being seen yet unable to turn away. The very last thing she saw was her maid at the end of the procession, following the creatures off into the darkness.

Mr. Hasen, one of Mrs. Winchester’s foremen, had written about his tools getting moved to the far corners of the room when his back was turned. Mr. Hansen was staring at ta kaleidoscope World of shifting, flickering lights, a surfaceless void with an unimaginably distant vanishing point near which huge amorphous shapes twisted and withered in a constant fury of becoming. He had been a hint that the matter that made up the forms of this World which everyone accepted as solid and separate was in fact all one and that only probability kept everything as it was and kept our reality apart from a multiverse of others. Although they were paid three times the going rate, provided with medical care, subsidized groceries, and lived in Victorian cottages once on the estate, carpenters employed by Mrs. Winchester frequently suddenly left and did not come back, never giving a reason to their departure. On September 5, 1922, construction efforts were suddenly stopped when the ladders several carpenters were working from were pushed away from the wall, forcing them to jump several stories. Moments later, it was discovered that Mrs. Winchester had passed away in her sleep.

The mansion that has survived such a long history, is a marvel to see in person. Today, it stands four stories high, and has an estimated 160 rooms, of which 110 are open for tour. There has been some restoration over the years and ongoing maintenance. Come inside the mansion to see the priceless architecture and learn of its history. The guided tours are exquisitely led by a well prepared and enthusiastic team, who make sure that you and all guests are entertained by the great stories. Take advantage of this fascinating experience. After tour, there will be time enjoy the mansion’s splendor at your own pace. You might even discover secret passages.

Please come and enjoy a delicious meal in Sarah’s Café, stroll along the paths of the beautiful Victorian gardens, and wonder through the miles of hallways in the World’s most mysterious mansion. Even if you do not believe ghost stories, you might still get goosebumps passing through the most infamous basement. Enjoy panoramic views and discover quirky features such as secret staircases, doors that open to nowhere, stairs to the ceiling, hidden trapdoors, and other unusual features.

Please visit the online giftshop, and purchase a gift for friends and relatives as well as a special memento of The Winchester Mystery House. A variety of souvenirs and gifts are available to purchase. https://shopwinchestermysteryhouse.com/
Why Choose Harris?

Harris Plumbing, Heating, Air, & Electric has been in business for 30 years. How many businesses can say that? We take pride in everything we do – no matter how big or small the service call might be. We’re here to help your home be as safe and comfortable as possible for you and your family. We take that responsibility very seriously as a company. Harris will ensure you have the information you need to decide what to do next, whatever your home is facing. We’ll perform a diagnosis and detail what issues are present before starting any work. This gives you a personalized quote and service plan specific to your home’s needs – not some random quote based on the best guess. The only way we can do our best work is to make sure we handle the issues at hand. https://www.callharrisnow.com/about-us/


BMW continues to dominate the luxury car space. With its top ranking in Consumer Reports’ Auto Brand Report Card and consistent market share growth, BMW has demonstrated its ability to produce high-performing, reliable vehicles that meet consumer demands.

BMW stands out due to its focus on driving dynamics and engineering excellence. While other luxury brands prioritize comfort and opulence, BMW is known for creating cars that are fun to drive and offer a unique connection between the driver and the machine. https://bmw.niello.com/

You, Sir, Had a Mild Heart Attack Last Night!

Each of us has our own difficult journeys in the “wilderness.” Some journeys are so difficult that it might even seem unbearable at times. The man you are about to meet, not only were his conversations battles, life itself was a battle—a battle he almost lost before finding his core. His biggest disappointment in life was that his father had not been killed in the war. Charles was born in 1942, into a World turned upside down; a World of women who worked in factories while their men went to far-off countries to fight. Charles’ mother was a pale, weak woman who worked too hard and had not the strength to survive his birth. A judge put Charles into the care of his Aunt Selma, a wealthy spinster who had nothing else to do but pamper the baby, whom she considered a gift sent from Heaven to fill and delight her lonely days. The first three years of Charles’ life were as much a delight to him as they were to his aunt. His every demand was filled as quickly as the woman could get to it. He did as he pleased and Clare’s only responses were kisses, pats, hugs, and praise. However, then the way was over—and for Charles, the nightmare began. His father came home. His father had a skill which was rare among men in those days: he could type. So instead of shouldering a rifle, he sat at a typewriter in Maryland. At war’s end, he returned uninjured, but had to face two gigantic problems: unemployment and fatherhood. #RandolphHarris 1 of 19

The first problem he was able to solve simply by taking the lowest-paying job available. However, the second problem had no simple solutions. It never would. Charles’s nightmare because real when his father took him away from Aunt Clare and moved him into a cramped apartment in St. Louis. In their first few months together, Charles’ father was unemployed. Unsure of what he ought to allow the little boy to do, he decided the safest course was to let him do nothing which could lead to trouble. Thus, Charles heard, “Do not touch that!” and “Bad boy!” for the first time in his life. And to the extent three-year-old boys are able, Charles began to feel progressively irritated, annoyed and resentful of his father’s restrictiveness. His father eventually found a job as a clerk in a brewery and every morning left Charles in the care of an overwrought woman who had six children of her own. As the boy grew to young manhood, his resentment of his father grew to a full-blown hatred. They squabbled over everything and nothing Charles did was quite good enough for his father’s liking. In return, Charles found a little to admire in the stranger who called himself his father. The man worked hard, but was not able to rise above the position of senior bookkeeper. He had no zest for living, few friends, no accomplishments to be proud of. #RandolphHarris 2 of 19

As Charles matured, he also lost much of his zest for living. He too found difficulty making friends, mainly because he argued about nearly everything. However, he did have accomplishments to be proud of. He was extremely bright and had a natural ability with numbers. In college, he majored in accounting and graduated first in his class. He accepted an offer from a huge company in New York, with a starting salary higher than the salary his father had worked twenty years to attain. The job did not last. Despite his youth and inexperience, Charles refused to follow the orders for his supervisors. He always had a better way to do things. Even when he was show to be in error, he would argue his position rather than back down. The final straw came when his supervisor overheard him advising a department head to account for supplies in a manner different from the standard. He was told to resign, but he insisted he be fired, despite the damage this would do to his record. Then Charles began taking a series of jobs in different cities, each with companies of lesser and lesser prestige. The pattern he set in his first job repeated itself. At last, even the worst companies would not have him. More from necessity than choice, he decided to go into solo practice. So he got an office, advertised a little, and business trickled in. His clients, though miffed by his heavy-handedness, saw his ability. His business grew, but his constant bickering made them throw up their hands and seek another accountant. #RandolphHarris 3 of 19

With the constant turnover in clientele, Charles found that he had to work punishingly hard to make a living. He was at his desk from morning until late in the evening, doing all the work himself. The tiresome schedule appealed to him. He had no social life and his only hobby was psychology, in which he was getting a Master’s degree at night. Ultimately the strain of too much work, too little sleep, and junk food took its toll. As he sat at his desk one evening, he felt a small twinge of pain just above his stomach. Indigestion, he thought, probably the result of the cheeseburger he had eaten earlier. He glanced at his watch and noted it was nine-thirty. He tried to ease the pain by breathing deeply, but his breaths came only in painful gasps. He felts a sudden chill, despite the fact that he was sweating a great deal, his shirt having become soaked in a few seconds. Frightened, Charles decided to take an Alka-Seltzer, but when he tried to rise and push his chair back, he could not. His strength was gone. He tried again, got halfway up and the World went black. When he awoke, he was laying on the floor. He glanced at his watch again: almost ten o’clock. He had been out a half-hour. However, on getting up, he felt fine. Nevertheless, he closed the books and went home. #RandolphHarris 4 of 19

The next day, Charles went to a doctor, thinking that he might have the beginnings of an ulcer. Not so. “Your blood enzyme test bothers me,” the doctor said with an ominously wrinkled brow. “Just to be sure, I’m going to do an EKG.” “What the heck’s that?” “Electrocardiogram. Heart test.” When the test results came back, the doctor seemed pleased with himself. “Just as I suspected. You, sir, had a mild heart attack last night. It was one of the few moments in his life that Charles could think of nothing to say. “I know what you’re thinking,” the doctor went on. “You’re only thirty-five years old, too young to have a heart attack. But I’ll be you work too hard and don’t exercise. Probably haven’t eaten a decent meal outside a restaurant in a year. Am I right so far?” One thing Charles could not do was admit someone else was right, no matter what the circumstances. “Say no more,” the doctor said, chickling. Then he turned serious. “Here it is, straight: You’re going to the hospital now. After a few days of observation, you can home—if we don’t find anything more disturbing. When you get out, no more junk food. No more sixteen-hour days. No more coffee. Get a lot of sleep, try not to get upset. This bum ticker of yours is a fact. You’re stuck with it, so you might as well live with it. There’s nothing else you can do.” #RandolphHarris 5 of 19

Five days later, Charles left the hospital feeling a mixture of frustration and anger. The thought of taking orders from the medical man infuriated him. Yet he could not afford to do things his own way. Not with this. In this game, someone else held all the cards. That afternoon, he closed his office obediently at five, went home and fixed a salad, ate it slowly, and took a nap before going to class. For the past few weeks, the class had been discussing psychosomatic illnesses, a subject which interested Charles little. However, on this evening, he listened very, very closely. The professor was lecturing about the forms of psychosomatic illness: “The most obvious type is, of course, ulcers. People now recognize that stress, worry and overwork may give one an ulcer. However, psychologists are discovering that many other illnesses may have psychosomatic origins. People are unwilling to accept that such aliments as cancer, asthma, heart trouble and the like have their roots in psyche. One patient of mine, for example, Charles froze at the mention of the words “heart trouble.” Could his hear problem be “all in his head”? During the next few days, the thought came up repeatedly. Every time it did, it frightened him—not because he thought the condition serious, but because there was apparently nothing he could do about it. #RandolphHarris 6 of 19

All his life, Charles had felt able to control whatever came up. He had always been able to do something about everything. Yet in this case, there was nothing he could do. This bothered him most. The next week, Charles asked the professor a hypothetical question about a “friend” who had heart trouble and was wondering if it might be psychosomatic. The old psychologist saw through the deception and suggested Charles try therapy. He referred him to me. One of the deepest learnings in mu previous clinical work had been the tremendous pull exerted in the client by the satisfaction of learning one’s self. No matter how external the concern initially expressed by the client—the problem of his wife’s behaviour, or the choice of a vocational goal—once he had experienced the bitter-sweet satisfaction of self-exploration, this inevitably became the focus of therapy. I do not find this to be true with our schizophrenic clients. Even when we have established a relationship, even when the individual experiences some new facet of himself, and understands himself a bit more clearly, he does not necessarily continue along this line. For reasons I am not sure I understand, he does not find himself, except very occasionally, drawn to the exploring and experience of self. #RandolphHarris 7 of 19

Instead, he is more likely to continue to externalize his problems, to refuse to own his feelings. Is this due to the nature of the schizophrenic reaction to life? Is it primarily characteristic of the chronically hospitalized person? Is it due to the low socio-educational status of our group? Is it simply that very few of our clients have reached the level of inner development where self-exploration is satisfying? I cannot be sure. Counseling center clients, on the average, show a significantly greater depth of self-exploration than our schizophrenic clients. This was based on a new measure of intrapersonal exploration, developed out of our Process Scale and its derivatives. It was also found, in accordance with expectation, that the more successful cases showed an increase in degree of self-exploration over time, while the less successful cases—both neurotic and psychotic—showed actually less intrapersonal exploration later in therapy than they did early in therapy. However, the surprising finding was that the more successful schizophrenic cases showed the greatest increase in depth of self-exploration from early to late, greater even than the successful neurotic cases. This is both pleasing and surprising. It means that in those schizophrenics who do show marked improvement on objective tests, this improvement is preceded by the spontaneous and feelingful expression of personally relevant material, by an active, struggling, fearful exploration of self. #RandolphHarris 8 of 19

It appears in our sample that when a schizophrenic improves it is because he has entered into “therapy” as we have customarily understood it. Another simple observation. Our schizophrenics tend to be either massively silent, or to engage in continuous (and not very revealing) conversation. It has been found that half of our schizophrenics, in their second interviews, show either less than 1 percent silence mor more than 40 percent silence. This is sharply different from clinic clients. Our schizophrenic individuals tend to fend off a relationship either by an almost complete silence—often extending over many interviews—or by a flood of over-talk which is equally effective in preventing a real encounter. Parents everywhere are the same in regard to illusions. If the child believes they are magicians, it is partly because they believe it themselves. There is no actual or conceivable parent who has not somehow conveyed to his offspring: “If you do what I tell you, everything will come out all right.” To the child, this means: “If I do what they tell me, I will be protected by magic, and all my best dreams will come true.” He believes this so firmly that it is almost impossible to shake his faith. If he does not make it, it is not because the magic has gone, but because he has broken the rules. And if he defies or abandons the parental directives, it does not mean the he had lost his belief in his illusions. It may only mean that he cannot stand the requirements any longer, or does not think he will ever meet them. Hence the envy and derision which some people direct at those who follow the rules. #RandolphHarris 9 of 19

The inner Child still believes in Santa Claus, but the rebels are saying, “I can het if from him wholesale” (drugs or revolution), while the futilists cry: “Who needs his sour grapes? The grapes of death are sweeter.” However, as they get older, a few people are able to give up the illusion themselves, and they seem to do so without the envy or derision of those who have not. The Parental precept, at best, reads: “Do right and no harm can befall you!” a motto which has been the basis of ethical systems in every country throughout recorded history, starting with the oldest known written instructions by Ptahhotep, in ancient Egypt, five thousand years ago. At worst it reads: “If you kill certain people, the World will be a better place, and in that way, you will attain immortality, become omnipotent, and acquire irresistible power.” Oddly enough, from the Child’s point of view, both of these are slogans of love, for they are both based on the same Parental promise: “If you do as I tell you, I will love and protect you, and without me you are nothing.” This shows up clearly when the promise is given in writing. In the first case, it is the Lord who will love and protect you, as it is written in the Christian Bible and Book of Mormon, and in the second it is Mr. Hitler, as it is written in Mein Kampf and other productions. Mr. Hitler promised the thousand-year Reich, which is practical immortality, and his followers did indeed acquire omnipotence and irresistible power over the Poles, Gypsies, Jews, painters, musicians, writers, and politicians whom they imprisoned in their extermination camps. #RandolphHarris 10 of 19

While this was going on, however, reality took over in the Napoleonic form of infantry, artillery, and air support, and millions of Mr. Hitler’s followers became mortal, impotent, and resistible. It takes enormous power to shatter these primal illusions, and this occurs most commonly in wartime. When Tolstoy’s Count goes into battle, he cries in outage: “Why are they firing at me? Everybody likes me (=I am irresistible).” The most horrifying example of smashing this almost universal belief by force is shown in the notorious picture of a little boy about nine years old standing in the middle of a street in Poland, alone and friendless despite the onlookers who line the sidewalk, while an armed Death’s Head Trooper stand over him. The expression on his face says very plainly: “But mother told me fi I was a good boy, everything would be all right.” The most brutal psychological blow that any human being can sustain is proof that his good mother deceived him, and that is the devastating torture which the German soldier is inflicting on the little boy he has concerned. When everything is permitted and the law passes away, the history of contemporary nihilism really begins. The romantic rebellion did not go so far. It limited itself to saying, in short, that everything was not permitted, but that, through insolence, it allowed itself to do what was forbidden. #RandolphHarris 11 of 19

With the Karamazovs, on the contrary, the logic of indignation turned rebellion against itself and confronted it with a desperate contradiction. The essential difference is that the romantics allowed themselves moments of complacence, while Ivan compelled himself to do evil so as to be coherent. He would not allow himself to be good. Nihilism is not only despair and negation but, above all, the desire to negate. The same man who so violently took the part of innocence, who trembled at the suffering of a child, who wanted to see “with his own eyes” the lamb lie down with the lion, the victim embrace his murderer, from the moment that he rejects divine coherence and tries to discover his own rule of life, recognized the legitimacy of murder. Ivan rebels against a murderous God; but from the moment that he begins to rationalize his rebellion, he deduced the law of murder. If all is permitted, he can kill his father or at least allow him to be killed. Long reflection on the condition of mankind as people sentenced to death only leads to the justification of crime. Ivan simultaneously hates the death penalty (describing an execution, he says furiously: “His head fell, in the name of divine grace”) and condones crime, in principle. Every indulgence is allowed the murderer, none is allowed the executioner. This contradiction, which Sade swallowed with ease, chokes Ivan Karamazov. #RandolphHarris 12 of 19

He pretends to reason, in fact, as though immortality did not exist, while he only goes so far as to say that he would refuse it even if it did exit. In order to protest against evil and death, he deliberately chooses to say that virtue exists no more than does immortality and to allow his father to be killed. He consciously accepts his dilemma; to be virtuous and illogical, or logical and criminal. His prototype, the devil, is right when he whispers: “You are going to commit a virtuous act and yet you do not believe in virtue; that is what angers and torments you.” The question that Ivan finally poses, the question that constitutes the real progress achieved by Dostoievsky in the history of rebellion, is the only one in which we are interested here: can one live and stand one’s ground in a state of rebellion? Ivan allows us to guess his answer: one can live in a state of rebellion only by pursuing it to the bitter end. What is the bitter end of metaphysical rebellion? Metaphysical revolution. The master of the World, after his legitimacy has been contested, must be overthrown. Man must occupy his place. “As God and immortality do not exist, the new man is permitted to become God.” However, what does becoming God mean? It means, in fact, reorganizing that everything is permitted and refusing to reorganize any other law but one’s own. #RandolphHarris 13 of 19

Without it being necessary to develop the intervening arguments, we can see that to become God is to accept crime (a favourite idea of Dostoievsky’s intellectuals). Ivan’s personal problem is, then, to know if he will be faithful to his logic and if, on the grounds of an indignant protest against innocent suffering, he will accept the murder of his father with the indifference of man-god. We know his solution: Ivan allows his father to be killed. Too proud to be satisfied with appearance, too sensitive to perform the deed himself, he is content to allow it to be done. However, he goes mad. The man who could not understand how one could love one’s neighbour cannot understand either how one can kill him. Studying counterintelligence is one way to understand how intelligence can be lowered. Counter-intelligence incessantly seeks old fact about other hives. Counter-intelligence continuously search for maps, blueprints, plans about intra-hive activity—in spite of the fact that nothing of genetic importance occurs within hives. Counter-intelligence feverishly construct apparatuses, devices, networks to limit our intelligence. Counter-intelligence bureaucracies, which includes the CIA, Senate investigating committees, and the old Soviet KGB lower intelligence and makes us more stupid with time tested techniques. #RandolphHarris 14 of 19

Anyone who keeps secrets from you is your Essence Enemy—acting to lower your most precious asset—your intelligence. If intelligence is the ultimate good then secrecy is the ultimate crime. Censorship is the imposition of secrets. Counter-intelligence makes us stupid. Disinformation—false facts obviously increase stupidity. When Richard Helms lied under oath about CIA involvement in Chile, he was acting to keep the Senate and the American people stupid. When Dick Gregory and Mark Lane invented Kennedy conspiracy facts, they are lowering the National intelligence index. Secrecy is the most obvious and blatant technique for inhibiting intelligence and always designed to increase stupidity. Even simple human ethics, let alone divinely given commandments, tell us to treat others as we wish them to treat ourselves. Whoever looks for the negative aspects of others should also remember that there are usually some beneficial ones also and that in fairness he ought to recognize them too. If anyone or anything, a man or a book, can contribute to free us from the resentments towards others or the bitterness towards life which poison feelings, thoughts, and health, he has rendered us a great service or the book has proved its worth. His virtue is not cold and selfish and self-admiring, although it may seem so to those who have insufficient knowledge of these matters. #RandolphHarris 15 of 19

Conformity has its uses, its merits, its place and time. Given these, it is quite acceptable. Ill-mannered people mistake invective for argument. The insatiable curiosity whose satisfaction fills so many columns of personal gossip in newspapers, is reflected in those who intrusively ask private questions where they have no right and no encouragement to do so. It is a breach of good manners, a blow at personal rights. It is a lack of respect for human dignity and independence. Being different from the crowd may mean being lonely but it also means being inspired, protected, blessed. Jesus Christ was not holier in essence than he is, only that man had manifested all this holiness, whereas he has hardly begun to do so. The task is to reflect the attributes of divinity in the conduct of humanity, involving the bringing-in of his metaphysics and his mysticism to actuate his conduct. Emotional expression is an aspect of communication. If we share a common upbringing and cultural heritage, we will not have difficult in understanding the subtleties and nuances of emotion that are conveyed by the flare of a nostril, the narrowing of eyelids, or the ripple of muscle along the jawline as a person suppresses rage. When we enter another culture, however, such as happens when an American from New York visits a Southern state or another English-speaking country, we frequently do not recognize when our speech and actions are angering or amusing the local people. #RandolphHarris 16 of 19

Indeed, it may take years to learn the perspective, expectations, and evaluative norms of the natives, and until that happens, a visitor may feel lonely and out of touch. Many students have had the experience of joy and relief at encountering someone from their home when they were abroad. Understanding one another’s feelings is usually immediate between people who know one another. There are occasions, however, when the emotional disclosure of someone well known becomes unintelligible; we cannot comprehend why a friend is terrified, angry, or sexually aroused. This is the case with so-called schizophrenic and neurotic people; their emotionality does not appear to make sense, even to members of their families. Yet, because they are human, it must be assumed that the emotional experience of such sufferers makes sense to them, in the light of their perspective upon the World. If someone is terrified, it is because the person experiences imminent danger; if someone is enraged, it is because someone else has violated that person’s space and integrity. All emotion makes sense when we have imaginatively grasped the perspective of the person who is feeling it. It is such empathy, and the willingness to encounter and enter into dialogue with someone with a different perspective, which is so important for therapists, teachers of children, parents, and those who seek to live and work in another country. #RandolphHarris 17 of 19

The Sacramento Fire Department’s mission is to ensure safety and well-being for residents and visitors through firefighting, public education, enforcement of fire codes, and efficient emergency response resources. “You see a lot in this profession. There was a truck driver driving this tractor-trailer through Sacramento one afternoon, he crossed the highway divider. He hit a Honda head on and crushed it, also a pickup truck with three construction workers in it. We didn’t even see the girl who was driving the Hunda until we got a big tow truck to get the tractor-trailer off her car. She was just jelly. We had to cut her out with the jaws of life. The three construction workers were coming home from work. They didn’t make it. They were crushed inside the truck. The saddest thing is to see an innocent person dying. We had several medical calls recently to a young boy who was extremely sick, and every once in a while he would stop breathing. That was a very painful thin for his parents, and it drew a lot of compassion from firemen. You’ve got to live with these things. When we come back to the situation, I talked about these things with one of the guys I work with. But the traditional male machoism keeps some guys from expressing their true feelings or even talking about it. This guy now has a master’s degree in psychology. He does seminars in Texas on postincident stress reduction, helping firefighters deal with injuries and deaths, mass deaths like in plane crashes. You go out there and do what you have to do, yet a lot of it sets in and affects you. You’ve got to learn to overcome it, to release it instead of bottling it up inside. So we’re learning to do that.” #RandolphHarris 18 of 19

The Sacramento Fire Department recognizes that they face unique challenges in keeping pace with the changing World in which they live and work. They will not forget the traditions of those that came before them. However, they have adapted and progressed so that they can remain successful. “We are a family of individuals committed to serving others. We will always provide for the welfare of our personnel through a health and rewarding work environment. We are dedicated to respect, integrity, compassion, and leadership amongst ourselves so that we may proudly serve others. The Sacramento Fire Department strives to sustain and improve the health, safety, convenience, and welfare of the citizens of Sacramento and to plan for the future development of the community. You can help save lives and property by donating to the Sacramento Fire Department. And remember parents, please raise your children to love America, to be patriotic, to love God and Jesus, respect law and others, treat others with dignity and respect, and remind them of the importance of education. To help America survive the global recession and bring manufacturing jobs back to America and to get American wages at pace with inflation, it is important to buy America cars, American meat, American produce and other American made goods and services. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic, for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible with Liberty and Justice for all. Our Father, our King, be gracious unto us and answer us, for we are wanting in good deeds; deal with us in charity and lovingkindness, and please save us. #RandolphHarris 19 of 19

The Winchester Mystery House

There is only one week left until our Friday the 13th Flashlight Tour 🔦

Don’t miss this unique opportunity to explore the mansion in full darkness on this eerie night 🌔

Please come and enjoy a delicious meal in Sarah’s Café, stroll along the paths of the beautiful Victorian gardens, and wonder through the miles of hallways in the World’s most mysterious mansion.

For further information about tours, including group tours, weddings, school events, birthday party packages, facility rentals, and special events please visit the website: https://winchestermysteryhouse.com/

Please visit the online giftshop, and purchase a gift for friends and relatives as well as a special memento of The Winchester Mystery House. A variety of souvenirs and gifts are available to purchase. https://shopwinchestermysteryhouse.com/

At the Altar, in Front of God, You Promised to Love Me Forever!

With each of us, there is a process of change taking place from within. It requires no conscious effort. It is called growth. Goethe observes that, “Man is like a plant, he grows. He is not a sculpture, made from the outside.” Yet the emphasis of many parents, teachers and behaviourists has been on “shaping up,” molding from the outside. This is manipulation. One can manipulate from the outside, but growth comes from the inside. And the growth process requires surrender. From our earliest childhood, we are taught to do; we are taught that goals are more important than experience. How, then, can we change? I believe change occurs when we learn to trust our deepest feelings and discovery our natural rhythm. To trust our deepest feelings means to surrender to a growth process within ourselves. To discover our natural rhythm is to become one with the growth processes of nature: the seasons, the tides, the rhythm of each day and night. These two interlocking processes are inherent in the nature of life and are known as the “growing edge.” We see it in nature; always vitality seems to be nestling deep within the heart of a dying plant. A kind of oak tree comes to mind. You have seen it. The leaves turn yellow and die, but they stay on the tree all winter. The wind, the storm, the sleet, the snow, nothing is able to dislodge these dead leaves from the apparently dead branches. #RandolphHarris 1 of 22

The business of the tree during the long winter is to hold on to these dead leaves. Then there begins to be a stirring deep within the heart of the tree. The expression of life reveals itself. Its function is no longer that of holding on to the dead leaves. It turns them loose. They fall off. In the place, buds begin to come. What wind, storm, hail, sleet, ice could not do during the long winter, now comes to pass very quietly because of the vitality inherent in the tree. In the growth of our lives, the same thing happens. As ten-year-olds, we know all things that happen to us are only the beginning. In our teen years, we know a new ripeness for many things, but also are aware that still other things will not be available to us under our twenties and thirties. Then in our thirties and forties, we must develop a new awareness that the wine of youth often grows turbid. The morning of life is for the development of the individual and for conquests: to do. The afternoon of life is for the development of wisdom: to be. The first quarter of life is when we are a problem for others. In the second and third quarters, conscious problems are ours. In extreme old age, we are again a problem for others. By the time of the third quarter, I believe we must make meaning and purpose paramount in order to live out our lives happily and healthily. #RandolphHarris 2 of 22

In the past, we talked about a case study involving Trish. One of Trish’s problems revolved around the idea of commitment. To Trish, commitment is a feeling of conviction that a relationship will last through conflict and differences. Masters and Johnson (The Pleasure Bond) stress that there is a difference between a commitment of obligation and a commitment of concern. A commitment of obligation implies that you have to remain married because of your promise to do so; a commitment of concern implies, not that you feel compelled to meet the obligation but that you feel impelled to. By impelled, I mean that you have a conviction, deeply rooted in yourself, that comes from a core belief in the relationship. This strong belief gives rise to a feeling of confidence in the relationship and impels you to do what it takes to make it work, rather than abandoning it at the first sign of difficulty. Commitment then, is a feeling of confidence, not of obligation. From a logical standpoint, commitment as promise is impossible. Since all individuals are constantly changing, how can one logically promise to feel a certain way ten years from now? However, based on feelings of love and confidence, people can deeply believe in the process of maintaining a marriage through on-going resolution of conflicts. This requires facing the daily problems of life and trusting in the process of mutual sharing of feelings. #RandolphHarris 3 of 22

While it is ridiculous to say, “I promise to love you forever,” it is productive to say, “I love you now and I believe in this relationship. I commit to you that in the future I will do what it takes to make the relationship work, as long as we both shall love one another and want to be with one another.” Trish was so hung up on the promise, she refused to accept the possibility that her husband might want to leave her for good because she believed that it would destroy the marriage, and children. Also, because her husband made this promise to love her forever, at the altar, in front of God. Trish tried to make her husband feel differently than he did. However, with the help of therapy, she soon learned she could go nowhere with that. She eventually accepted his leaving, and he did not have to defend himself. This left him free to explore his reasons for leaving and perhaps his reasons for not leaving. The point is, is Trish’s husband is going to change, the change must come from within, not from Trish’s manipulation of him. If change comes, it will come out of just such a free, give-and-take atmosphere. However, Trish was only able to create this atmosphere by surrendering to the way things are. As a manipulator, Trish exaggerates her support at the expense of the opposite value, criticalness. Support and criticalness constitute a polarity such as the strength and weakness we often see in people struggling with life situations. #RandolphHarris 4 of 22

When a relationship is not working out and one person wants to make it work, that individual needs to become more judgelike, not in the legal sense, but in the sense that there is a nonlegal system of justice which will reward and punish their spouses’ actions regardless of what the person wanting the relationship to work out might do. The values of support and criticalness then synthesize into appreciation of differences, a value Trish can say, “I love our home and children and marriage, but I can see that you do not. I feel sorry for you. You are throwing away a good thing and you might regret it one day. Still, it is not up to me to make you regret it. It is up to me to live my life and it is up to you to live yours.” Notice that this surrender, when it comes, is a nonact. It does not involve doing anything. It just involved accepting the way things are and being with them. One day, Trish’s husband may indeed regret his decision. However, the regret will come from inside himself. And Trish will have accomplished what she wanted without doing anything at all, simply by surrendering to being. As of now, Trish’s situation is still unresolved. She was able to have a conversation with her husband similar to the last bit of role playing she did in therapy. They are not yet divorced, nor is he back with the family. Trish is more comfortable with the thought of a divorce now, though she still does not want it. She is continuing in therapy. #RandolphHarris 5 of 22

Trish’s husband is wondering if leaving his family permanently is such a good idea after all. If he too joined a therapy group, Trish thought it might help. So far, her efforts in that direction have been in vain. However, she is not pressing it. There is danger that those who begin by being spiritually insensitive may end by becoming spiritually offensive. He should bestow an intellectual sympathy on all, even though he cannot bestow an emotional sympathy. If you can go to a man you greatly dislike and remember that he, too, will one day discover his spiritual identity and express a finer, more loveable self, it will be easier to be calm, patient, just, and at ease with him. The relationships which develop between him and other people become a further channel for expressing what he had of this understanding, this peace, this self-control. He cannot meet hatred with hatred, but only with resignation. His answer to enmity is to condone it. His attitude to opposition is to be tolerant. Those who are not deceived by the fictitious good-fellowship of saloons and taverns may find his calm cool presence more truly cordial than those who seek emotional displays. It is not a virtue but a weakness to be unable to stand up for your own rights or to be unable to rightly say “No!” or to submit to being bored by someone you want to get away from. #RandolphHarris 6 of 22

His actions will affect those with him, his dislike or hatred may provoke theirs, his kindness may create kindly reactions from them. A man needs to be careful in such matters. It is not easy for any man who has the ideal of living by truth. He will find himself forced to talk little, to cultivate a reticent manner and follow hos own way of life. Bad-mannered children become so partly because of their parents’ failure to correct them, which may be through having has similar parents themselves. And where this is shown by the child pointing out and ridiculing a stranger, neighbour, schoolchild, or foreigner because of his different or unusual appearance, clothes, and so on, it is also cruel. Do not expect nobler actions or higher motives from any man than experience suggests you should expect. Crime, which is the law of nature, singularly fails to appear distinguishes. Lacenaire, the first of the gentleman criminals, exploits it effectively; Baudelaire displays less tenacity, but is a genius. He creates the garden of evil where crime figures only as one of the rarer species. Terror itself becomes an exquisite sensation and a collector’s item. “Not only would I be happy to be a victim, but I would even hate being an executioner in order to feel the revolution from both sides.” Even Baudelair’s conformity has the odor of crime. If he chose Maistre as his master, it is to the extent that this conservative goes to extremes and centers his doctrine on death and on the executioner. “The real saint,” Baudelaire pretends to think, “is he who flogs and kills people for their own good.” #RandolphHarris 7 of 22

His argument will be heard. A race of real saints is beginning to spread over the Earth for the purpose of confirming these curious conclusions about rebellion. However, Baudelaire, despite his satanic arsenal, his taste for Sade, his blasphemies, remains too much of a theologian to be a proper rebel. His real drama, which made him the greatest poet of his time, was something else. Baudelaire can be mentioned here only to the extent that he was the most profound theoretician of dandyism and gave definite form to one of the conclusions of romantic revolt. Romanticism demonstrates, in fact, that rebellion is part and parcel of dandyism: one of its objectives is appearances. In it conventional forms, dandyism admits a nostalgia for ethics. It is only honour degraded as a point of honour. However, at the same time it inaugurates an aesthetic which is still valid in out World, an aesthetic of solitary creators, who are obstinate rivals of a God they condemn. From romanticism onward, the artist’s task will not only be to create a World, or to exalt beauty for its own sake, but also to define an attitude. Thus, the artist becomes a model and offers himself as an example: art is his ethic. With him begins the age of the directors of conscious. When the dandies fail to commit suicide or do not go mad, they make a career and pursue prosperity. Even when, like Vigny, they exclaim that they are going to retire into silence, their silence is piercing. #RandolphHarris 8 of 22

However, at the very heart of romanticism, the sterility of this attitude becomes apparent to a few rebels who provide a transitional type between the eccentrics (or the Incredible) and our revolutionary adventurers. Between the times of the eighteenth-century, Byron and Shelley are already fighting, though only ostensibly, from freedom. They also expose themselves, but in another way. Rebellion gradually leaves the World of appearances for the World of action, where it will completely commit itself. The French students in 1830 and the Russian Decembrists will then appear as the purest incarnations of a rebellion which is at first solitary and which then tries, though sacrifice, to find the path to solidarity. However, inversely, the taste for the apocalypse and life of frenzy will reappear among present-day revolutionaries. The endless series of treason trials, the terrible game played out between the judge and the accused, the elaborate staging of cross-examinations, sometimes lead us to believe that there is a tragic resemblance to the old subterfuge by which the romantic rebel, in refusing to be what he was, provisionally condemned himself to a make-believe World in the desperate hope of achieving a more profound existence. Whoever cultivates goodwill to others will inevitably throw out whatever ill will he encounter in himself towards particular persons. For as goodwill grows in a broad generous way so ill will dies in a personal way. #RandolphHarris 9 of 22

Childhood illusions have mainly to do with rewards for being good and punishments for being bad. Good means mainly not being angry (“Temper, temper!) or sexy (“Nasty, nasty!) but it is all right to be frightened or ashamed. That is, Jeder is not supposed to express either his “instinct for self-preservation,” whose expression can be quite satisfying, or his “instinct for preservation of the species,” whose expression can be very pleasurable even at an early age; but he is allowed to have as many unsatisfying, unpleasant feelings as he wishes. There are many systems which make formal rules about rewards and punishments. Besides legal systems, which exist everywhere, there are religious and ideological ones. Half the World are “true believers” (about one billion Christians and half a billion Moslems) for whom the rules regarding afterlife are most important. The “heathen” half are judged during their earthly sojourns by local gods or by their national governments. For the script analysts, however, the most important codes are the informal, hidden ones which are peculiar to each family. For small children, there is usually some sort of Santa Clause who is watching their behaviour and keeping the accounts. However, he is for the “little kids,” and “big kids” do not believe in him, at least not in Santa Claus as a man in a masquerade costume who comes on a certain day of the year. #RandolphHarris 10 of 22

In fact, not believing in that kind of Satan Clause is what separates big kids from the little ones, along with the knowledge of where babies come from. However, big kids, and grownups too, have their own versions of Santa, each one different. Some grownups are more interested in Santa Claus’s family than in Santa himself, and firmly believe that if they behave properly, they will sooner or later have their chance with either his son, Prince Charming, or his daughter Snegurotchka, the Snow-Maiden, or even with Missis, Mrs. Menopause. In fact, most people spend their lives waiting for Santa Claus, or for some member of his family. And then there is his opposite number down below. Where Santa himself is a jolly man in a red suit who comes from the North Pole brining gifts, his opposite number is a grim man in a black cloak who comes from the South Pole carrying a scythe, and his name is Death. Thus, the human race is split during later childhood into the Life Crowd, who will spend their lives waiting for Santa Claus, and the Death Crowd, who will spend their lives waiting for Death. These are the basic illusions on which all scripts are based: that either Santa Claus will some eventually bringing gifts for the winners, or Death will come eventually and solve all the problems for the losers. Thus, the first question to ask about illusions is: “Are you waiting for Santa Claus, or Death?” #RandolphHarris 11 of 22

However, before the Final Gift (immortality) or the Final Solution (death), there are meanwhile others. Santa can bestow a winning lottery ticket, a life pension, or prolonged youth. Death can bestow a permanent disability, a cessation of desire for pleasures of the flesh, or premature old age, each of which relieves the person of some of his duties. For example, women in the Death Crowd are convinced that menopause will offer succor and surcease: that all desires for pleasures of the flesh will vanish, to be replaced by hot flashes and melancholia which will excuse them forevermore from living. This sad myth, that Mrs. Menopause will rescue them, is living. This sad myth, that Mrs. Menopause will recuse them, is titled “Wooden Ovaries” in the language of script analysis. Some me also grab for this with “Wooden Testicles,” the myth of the male menopause. Every script is based on some such illusion, and it is the grievous but necessary task of script analysis to undermine it, hence the blunt titles which get this done with the most dispatch and the shortest pain. The transactional importance of the illusion is that it provides a cause, and a reason for saving up trading stamps. Thus, people who are waiting for Santa Claus will save either compliments to show how good they have been, or “suffers” of various kinds to arouse his compassion, while those who are waiting for death will save guilt or futility stamps to show that they are worthy of him or will welcome him with gratitude. However, any kind of stamp may be offered to either Santa Claus or Death in the hope that with clever salesmanship the desired merchandise will be forthcoming. #RandolphHarris 12 of 22

The illusion, then, has to do with the store where the trading stamps are turned in, and there are two different stores, each with different rules. By doing enough good, or enduring enough suffer, Jeder can collect enough gold or brown stamps to turn in on a free gift from Santa’s Store. By collecting enough guilts or futilities, he can get a free gift from the Death Shop. Actually, Santa and Death do not actually run stores. They are more like itinerant peddlers. Jeder has to wait for Santa or Death to come, and he never knows when they will. That is why he must save his trading stamps and always have them ready, because if he misses his opportunity when Santa or Death does pass by, he never knows when he will get another chance. If he is saving cheerios, then he must think optimistically at all times, because if he relaxes even for a moment, that might be the very moment of Santa’s arrival. Similarly, if he is saving suffers, he must not risk every looking happy because if Santa catches him off guard, he will have lost his opportunity. It is the same people in the Death Crowd. They cannot afford to risk even a single moment free of guilt or futility, for that might be the very moment of Death’s visit, and then they would be condemned to live until the next round, which might be—well, only death knows how long the suspense might have to continue. #RandolphHarris 13 of 22

The notion of self-directed brain change did not exist in the late 1950s and early 1960s. It was necessary to turn people on to this option. Evolutionary Agents were robot-programmed to perform this activation role, sending a futique signal to nervous systems. If they are ready for it, if the time is right and the signal is precise—ZAP! The new circuits will activate! People will open up like flowers in May—which is what happened in the 1960s. Remember this notion of bodily awareness was a predom-species concept in the 1950s. Before 1960 hive wisdom held that the body was an instrument designed for reproductive purposes. Sure, you were allowed to jump up and down on each other on Saturday night for breeding purposes—instinctual sperm-egg exchange. The notion of intelligent pleasure, hedonic engineering, bodily self-direction, didn’t exist. The notions of consciousness raising and body awareness and personal growth did not exist. Of course, you know what happened. Since the 1960s, the consciousness-pleasure hedonic-intelligence business has become the largest industry in the country. The Great American Consumer Society has co-opted the notion of “feel good.” And that is a step forward. Nothing is wrong with hedonic consumerism. It was bound to happen. It is a stage, of course. New ideas always get watered down and vulgarized. In every gene-pool, every caste is going to pick up on new energies. So, let us face the amusing fact. The self-directed pleasure business has become an American obsession. #RandolphHarris 14 of 22

There is an enormous hedonic industry in this country which did not exist in the 1950s. We have water beds, satin sheets, diets, health foods, electric cars, stereo equipment, Internet, body shops, and more. We have yoga, massage, body building and martial arts. We have gurus, swamis and personal trainers. We have personal development and self-growth. Girl Scout Troops runs off twice a week to have consciousness raising episodes at the junior high school. Huge sums of money are involved. We spend more than $250,000,00—a quarter of a billion dollars annually—for the rolling papers and more than six billion for marijuana. For hundred million dollars are spent on jogging paraphernalia. The self-indulgent, self-improvement pleasure industry—entertainment, travel, recreation, sensual stimulation, aesthetics, style and fashion—is the largest business in America. The business of Uncle Sam has become self-actualization pleasure. There is no authoritative catalogue of emotional experience. Furthermore, there is precise differentiation of the physiological expression of emotion. Physiological psychologists have difficult naming the emotional experience that a person is undergoing when their only data are markings on a polygraph that depict alterations in autonomic nervous system activity. #RandolphHarris 15 of 22

In psychology’s earliest days, emotion was an awkward concept for behavioural scientists to define and accept. The effort tended toward minimizing the subject, considering it a part of the motivation process, and most of all, boiling down emotions to as few as possible. In 1919, Watson, the grand old man of behaviourism, suggested the existence of only three emotions in the infant—fear, joy, and lust. In the years following, the direction of the profession may be seen in that Bridges (1932) proposed just one response: undifferentiated excitement, a concept that matches the lack of differentiation in physiological symptomology characteristic of almost all emotions. Clinicians, counselors, and others who have dealt intimately with emotions and whose task it often is to help people understand their own emotional responses very accurately and specifically, do differentiate a far richer spectrum of emotions in the human. The complexity of emotions as seen by the humanists are numerous. Optimistic emotions include things like joy, ecstasy, pride, enchanted, warm-hearted, and more. Pessimistic emotions include feeling low, fear, lustful, anxiety and more. From time to time, humanists have pointed out that most psychology textbook, when they do give any space to emotions, concentrate largely on the negative emotions such as hate and depression. #RandolphHarris 16 of 22

The mission of the Sacramento Fire Department is to serve their community by preventing emergencies through education and inspection Minimizing injury, death, and property destruction due to fire, natural disaster and other emergencies while providing timely and effective emergency medical services. “In California we have what we call the Santa Ana winds, usually in August and September, where the winds come off the desert and bring a real dry heat all the way across the coast. I had my six-moth probationary test coming up, and I was studying all the time. I was with Engine X. This particular afternoon a young guy was flying a kite southeast of town and the kite caught on some high wires, causing an arc that jumped to the heavy brush and started a fire. So they dispatched the Forest Service and nearby unit, leaving us to protect our part of the city. We looked out our back door and watched the fire grow, we listened to the radio traffic, and finally we were dispatched. On the way to the fire, I was sitting in the jump seat behind the driver. The fire was in a hilly area, with roads winding around and up and down the hills, an awkward place to fight a fire. Our assignment was to go up this narrow little road. The second house on the left was on fire. A police lived there with his wife and two children. We couldn’t do much about the house. All we could do was make sure they got out. We did that. Then we went up to the next house. There were houses all over the place beginning to burn. #RandolphHarris 17 of 22

“With some difficulty we backed into the driveway next door. I was with Captain Y and Engineer Z. There was a Chevy pickup in the driveway and a great big eucalyptus tree in the back. We pulled off a 150-foot preconnect and went to fight the fire. The house was on the side of a bank. The lower part of the bank was covered with brush, and that was all burning. The upper part of the bank was also covered with brush, and that was all burning, and the big eucalyptus tree was on fire. I noticed the house was preheating, and white smoke was beginning to pump out of it. There wasn’t really any fire yet, but I knew it was about to burst. A very unusual thing happened to me at that point. I had been in forest fires before, and you normally have 21 percent oxygen in the air. But here the fire was so widespread around us that it was consuming the oxygen in the air and we couldn’t breathe. We had bandannas on our faces, but they were just filtering the smoke, not giving us oxygen. The captain and Z went across the lawn toward the house, and I lost track of them. I went back to the rig and grabbed a Scott air pack, and just about at that time the engine sucked an ember down the air intake, which burned the engine out, killed the pump, and prevented us from having any water. The hose in back of the truck was totally burned out, and I think the tires were, too. The three of us were in an open air oven. We had fire above us, below us and to the sides. #RandolphHarris 18 of 22

“We were in a little spot right in the middle of the backyard. I figured there were other people in the same situation or worse, and that we were basically on our own. Funny, but my main concern during this whole time was passing my probationary test. I was dedicated! So after I rejoined the other two, we all got into our fire tents. I think it was a miracle that we happened to be in a spot where there was a pocket of breathable air. I believe the Lord sent an angel down to protect us. There was so much fire around us. We shared the Scott pack, but it really wasn’t that important. One of the things that helped me was something I learned in the Forest Service, which is, always carry some chewing gum with you. It helps keep some of the moisture in your mouth, otherwise you get real dry, then you get smoke and embers in your eyes and it’s real uncomfortable. We lay beneath our tents then for about forty minutes and listened to the fire popping all around us. We also listened to the radio traffic to see if anybody has any emergencies as bad as we had, and in fact they didn’t. So we called for some help, for someone to come up to us. And Engine A and Squad A did try to come up to us. The driver of the engine got out, but the fire was so hot that he had to get right back in the engine. It was impossible for them to come through with hose lines and rescue us, because there was just too much fire and heat. #RandolphHarris 19 of 22

Usually brush fires pass over fairly quickly, but there was a lot of heavy brush which burned for a longer while, and, of course, there were all the buildings on fire around us. I noticed afterwards that the windshield of the pickup truck was just a clump of glass. It has melted. While we were lying in our tents, we communicated with each other. We had the option of either staying where we were or taking a chance on running out through the brush and getting away. The captain convinced us that our best bet was to stay there, and so we did. There were other fire companies in similar situations, but their engines hadn’t burned out, so that when they opened up the nozzle and water came out, they could put their faces close to the nozzle and breathe the cooler air with oxygen in it. I kept lifting my tent and looking around. The heat only twenty feet from us was probably about 900 degrees, but to me the heat wasn’t the problem, it was the lack of oxygen. It was difficult to breathe. And then there was the house. I remember looking at the house one time, and then, about twenty minutes later, the entire house was gone. All that was left was the chimney. It was like jumping from one scene to another in a movie. It was amazing. While I was lying there, I thought, “If this is it, then this it is.” I’m not a quitter, but I knew that we were on our own and that nobody in the while area could do anything for us. #RandolphHarris 20 of 22

“I figured there were probably people in worse situations than we were. I prayed. I have a strong faith, and I believe that the Lord provided a little pocket of oxygen for us to breathe, the fire consumed everything else. I knew that death was potentially nearby, as it is in a lot of the situations that we see. But I do appreciate life, and we all have a great concern for safety. Finally, after forty minutes or so, the fire had passed over and settled down a little bit. The guys from the bottom made another attempt to get to us, and they got the pump going, but they were still not able to reach us. The ones who did finally reach us came over the top from the other side of the hill. They knew we were still alive, because we had kept in radio contact and given them updates of our situation. When we got out, the fire was still going on. I would have stayed and gone through the whole thing, but during this time I had somehow cut my left eye. I don’t know how, but I had scratched the cornea pretty good, and it got to the point where it bothered me so bad, I couldn’t concentrate, and I couldn’t do anything to get relief for it. So they took me to the hospital, where they cleaned out my eyes, put in some medicine, and packed both of them. Actually they were more concerned about the black in my lungs. I had inhaled some smoke, which is common. So they cleared out the black stuff. I didn’t get to finish the whole fire. It stopped burning a couple of hours later, and that was it. History. #RandolphHarris 21 of 22

“And to think that it all started from a little spark from a guy flying his kite! In all, that fire consumed 270 homes, and I don’t think any lives were lost!” The Sacramento Fire Department provides professional life safety, property protection, and disaster preparedness services. They achieve this through extensive fire prevention and safety education efforts, along with quick and effective responses to emergencies. You can save lives by donating to the Sacramento Fire Department. Also, it is absolutely important to raise your children to love America and to be patriotic citizens. By loving God and Jesus Christ, we can keep America a cohesive country. By supporting our local businesses by buying American cars, and other goods and services produced by Americans, this will stimulate our economy and help produce more high paying jobs in America. It is also important to respect law and order. As God loving citizen, we make it a goal to treat our elders with dignity, care, reverence, patience and empathy so that we may continue to be blessed by God. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic, for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. “My country, ‘tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing; land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrims’ pride, from every mountain side let freedom ring. Our fathers’ God, to Thee, Author of liberty, to Thee I sing; long may our land be bright, with freedom’s holy light; protect us by Thy might, Great God, our King.” #RandolphHarris 22 of 22

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We Shall Always be Glad to See You

Drawn curtains blocked the sunlight. A single candle lit the cavernous entryway—an art gallery nearly forty feet long. Mahogany panels covering much of the walls added their own soberness. Marble busts of 13 Roman Emperors mounted on pedestals, two historic series of pre-Gobelin tapestries woven in 1640 for Louis III to present to Cardinal Barberine of Rome populated a side room. The draperies were green silk damask and blue velvet, the furniture of Louis XV gilded oak, the paintings signed by van Gough, Boch, Embiricos, Moueix, Geffen. In the half-light of my own home, I came face to face with an apparition, a man, with thin white, grizzled hair hanging like seaweed, frightened eyes the colour of crystal blue. His cheeks were hallow; although well-knit and well-proportioned his black attired figure, indefinitely grim. At first, I was alarmed. He looked like somebody who had risen from the grave. I am a very private person and the locals hereabouts would like nothing better than to have stories of “ghosties” and poltergeists up at The Winchester Mansion to giggle over. And God knows that the country rag would make of it. Up the wide mahogany staircase I preceded, shading the chamber candle with my hand, to protect it from the currents of bone chilling air. In such a rambling place, the spirits found plenty of room to disport themselves in. I conducted myself through a maze of rooms, and a labyrinth of passages, to the Hall of Fires where the fires were blazing. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7

The sumptuous fires were composed of a bushel of coal, wood enough to build a small cottage, piled halfway up the chimney, and roaring and crackling like the sound of thunder. This was comfortable. I sat in a big armchair against the wall for about an hour, holding Zip on my lap. He was tense and I was frustrated, for a sense of personal guilt was growing. I had insisted on building this house and bringing him into it. When my bones warmed, I went to bed but not to sleep. I lay awake and thought of my youthful days when I had been a wife and a mother. Until the untimely deaths of my infant daughter and my beloved husband, I had not realized how much I had rejected certain rigid orthodox beliefs. Inexplicably, something seemed to lurch within, an abrupt sagging of mood that left me strangely wearied. I wondered at my own unease. The tranquility of this hour is the tranquility of death. Nonetheless I had lived in two haunted houses. In one of them, a Dutch Colonial, had bore the reputation of being haunted. Much like Llanada Villa, it had a score of mysterious bedrooms which were never used. After a few tears shed, I covered myself up warm, and fell asleep. Upon awakening, slowly waving shadows waved on from the heavy trees. Coming down from the ninth floor, I passed the servants quarters. The mirror-paneled walls hid mysterious doors, which opened to an entire suite of rooms. Perhaps these doors were hidden out of whimsy, perhaps with an eye toward security. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7

One of my fondest rooms was the library, warmed by a fireplace from a sixteenth-century castle in Germany, decorated with a tiger rug at the near and a bear rug at the front end, with armed knights standing guard as anions. The mantel was carved with a scene of rural revelry, with a Shepherdess, a bagpiper, and dancing men. The ceiling was of carved French mahogany from the 1500s, the room contained three stained-glass windows freed from a thirteenth-century abbey in Belgium. The library also featured the finest European furnishings. Its thousands of volumes included Juan Ruiz, Venerable Bede, Julian of Norwich, Mechthild of Magdeburg, Hildegard of Bingen, Layamon, Boethius, Heinrich Kramer, and Jacob Sprenger. With the contagion downs stairs, I sat in the morning room listening when I heard strange noises, which chilled my blood. There was suspicion and fear among us. The servants were always ready to go off with hair triggers. The year was dying early, the leaves were falling fast, it was a cold day. However, there was a coldness about Llanada Villa which only in part was to do with the shift in season. In certain rooms and corridors there was a darkness of air, in others a sense of emptiness because they had not been used nor entered in years. Zip grumbled somewhere in the shadows, but did not show himself. In the basement, the cellar which contained filled wine racks. It was with a mild sense of relief that I left the cellar to walk through the kitchen and scullery out onto the garden terrace. This was a fine place for a haunting. If one believed in such things. Looking out at the gardens, enjoying how magnificently laid out in formal yet interesting lines and curves, I breathed in deeply. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7

The was a cold, creepy feeling running up my spine. I expected something profound, maybe something deeply moving, an insight into the spiritual World on the other side of my own life. Descending a short flight of steps, the stone path before me branched off in three directions around the flower beds. I continued along the center path. Reflecting on how it is only when we begin to understand what is going on inside our own minds that we will discover some answers to the paranormal. I reached a knee-high wall, which encompassed a large ornamental pond, almost a miniature lake, full of water lilies. Before my eyes was a girl. She looked past me at the pond almost as if it had come as a shock to her eyes. However, there was something queer in her movement as she backed away. I blinked and it was moments before I realised that I was back in one of the mansion’s rooms, and looking up at the figure of a man, someone who had his back turned toward me. There was something wrong with this vision, for it had wavered before me as if…as if I were watching him through water. There were moving fronds around me, reeds shifting like loose tentacles. Two naked arms reached for me, slender, pearl-white limbs, fingers clawed. And even though they stretched toward me, these arms were bloodless. They were dead things. Suddenly, an air of profound peace invaded the dwelling. I entered the hallway with a vague, uneasy consciousness of unfitness and treachery. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7

I switched the light off, and the door to the landing of the second-floor staircase was open. Just on that sport, I suddenly heard crashing noises as if somebody were rolling down. I was terrified. As soon as I switched the light back on, it stopped. There was nothing on the stairs. I sat on the chair for a moment, then decided it was my nerves, and turned the light off again. Immediately, the same noise returned, even louder. There was no mistaking the origin of the noises this time. They came from the stairs in front of the room. Wondering if this had anything to do with the terribly frigid area on the back of the staircase, I switched on the light again and they stopped. Before climbing into bed, I left the lights burning the rest of the night. I finally fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. The next morning was a clam day. I was lying in bed, enjoying from my window the sense of winter beauty and repose; a bright sky above, and the quiet estate before me. In this state I was gladdened by hearing footsteps, which I took to be those of the housemaid Hilda, approaching the chamber door. The visitor knocked and entered. The foot of the bed was toward the door, and the curtains at the foot, notwithstanding the season, were drawn to prevent any draught. The housemaid parted them and looked upon me. Her gaze was earnest and destitute of its usual cheerfulness, and she spoke not a word. I had a curious sense that I was looking upon some unknown, ethereal World which might vanish. “My dear Hilda,” I said, “how glad I am to see you! Come round to the bedside, I wish to have some talk with you.” #RandolphHarris 5 of 7

She closed the curtains, as if complying; but instead of doing so, to my astonishment, I heard her leave the room, close the door behind her, and begin to descend the stairs. Greatly amazed, I hastily rang, and when the butler appeared I bade him call the housemaid back. The butler replied that he had not seen her enter the house. However, I insisted, saying, “She was here but this instant, run! Quick! Call her back!” The butler hurried away, but, after a time, returned, saying that he could learn nothing of her anywhere; nor had anyone in or about the house seen her either enter or depart. This strangeness of this circumstance struck me forcibly. While I lay pondering on it, I heard a sudden running and excited talk in the garden. I listened; it increased, though up to that time the estate had been profoundly still; and I became convinced that something unusual had occurred. Again, I rang the bell, to enquire about the cause of the disturbance. This time it was the scullery maid who answered it. “Oh, Mrs. Winchester, it was nothing particular,” she said, “some trifling affair.” Finally, however, my alarm and earnest entreaties drew from my servants the terrible truth that my housemaid had just been stabbed at the market and killed on the spot. There then follows a detailed account of the events in which Hilda Howitt lost her life. So great was the respect entertained for her, and such a deep impression of her tragic end, that the bell in the belfry tolled on this day. Comparing the circumstances and the extant time at which end occurred, the fact was substantiated that the apparition presented itself to me almost instantly after she had received the fatal stroke. At sunset, I sat at my desk and gazed dreamily at the Observational Tower, and that shimmering spire crowned complex of rooms in the distance of the labyrinth which provoked my fancy. Now and then, I was trained my eyes on the spectral, unreachable World of my estate; picking out individual roofs and chimneys and steeples, and speculating upon the bizarre and curious mysteries that we have created. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7

My house seemed somehow alien, fabulous, and linked to the unreal, intangible marvels of the Spirit World. It stood out with especial distinctness at certain hours of the day, and at sunset the great tower and tapering steeple loomed blackly against the glowing sky. Some believed that my home was built of stone and had withstood more than a century or more of storms. Around the towers and belfry, when the delicate leaves came out on the garden boughs, they World was filled with a new beauty. Plodding though the endless halls, I felt I was within a long-known, unreachable World beyond the mists. And presently I noted the strange, faces of the drifting shadows, and foreign sounds over wafting specular music. Nowhere could I find a familiar room among the six hundred in existence. I half fancied that Llanda Villa was a view of a dream-World never trod by living human feet. Now and then a carpenter or housemaid came in sight, but never the ones I sought. As I climbed higher, the regions of my home seemed stranger and stranger, with bewildering mazes of brooding hallways leading eternally off hither and tither. Faces within my house had a look of fear which they tried to hide. Upon entering a turret, I saw a boy being placed under a large wicker basket of conical shape, and a hooded woman stabbed through and through by the fakir with a long sword that pierced from side to side. Screams of pain followed each thrust, and the weapon was discerned to be covered with flesh blood. The cries grow fainter and at length cease altogether. Then the juggler uttering cries and incantations dances rough the basket, which she suddenly removes, and no sigh of the child is seen, no rent in the wickerwork, no stain on the steel. However, in a few seconds the boy, unharmed and laughing, spears running forward from some distant spot. “We shall always be glad to see you,” the boy said. The crowd began to quiet down to whispers, now, for the stillness and gloom of the place oppressed their spirits. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7

The Winchester Mystery House

Wizards of medieval times, upon certain special days will with great ceremony appear in the temples, which are always thronged on these occasions, and whilst their disciples howl and shriek out invocations, they suddenly throw aside their robes and with a sharp knife seem to rip open their stomachs from top to bottom, whilst blood pours from the gaping wound. The worshippers, lashed to frenzy, fall prostrate before them and grovel frantically upon the floor. The wizard appears to scatter his blood over them, and after some five minutes he passes his hands rapidly over the wound, which instantly disappears, not leaving even the trace of a scar. The operator is noticed to be overcome with intense weariness, but otherwise all is well. Those who have seen this hideous spectacle assure us that it cannot be explained by any hallucination or legerdemain, and that only solution which remains is to attribute it to the glamour cast over the deluded crowd by the power of discarnate evil intelligences. The portentous growth of Spiritism, which within a generation passed beyond the limits of a popular and mountebank movement and challenged the serious attention and expert inquiry of the whole scientific and philosophical World, furnishes us with examples of many extraordinary phenomena, both physical and psychical, and these, in spite of the most meticulous and accurate investigation, are simply inexplicable by any natural and normal means.

Please come and enjoy a delicious meal in Sarah’s Café, stroll along the paths of the beautiful Victorian gardens, and wonder through the miles of hallways in the World’s most mysterious mansion. For further information about tours, including group tours, weddings, school events, birthday party packages, facility rentals, and special events please visit the website: https://winchestermysteryhouse.com/

The Winchester Mystery House

On December 25, 1905 there was a sudden terrible noise from the nine story Observational Tower. Mrs. Winchester was convinced that the tower was falling but, on hasty inspection, there was nothing whatever the matter with the fabric of the building. More strange incidents continued to occur. Doors rattled as if someone were attempting to get in; there were sounds of footsteps, chandeliers exploded. Mrs. Winchester also a phantom battalion in the hallway on the fourth floor. One of the young men appeared to be the leader and was ahead of the column. He wore dark trousers, a tan coloured shirt, and a dark vest which he wore open. One his head he had a brown hat with an upturned brim and a satin hatband. Perhaps the oddest part was that they were not carrying military arms, but picks and shovels, as if they were some work detail. They also had packs on their backs and marched wearily as if returning from the fields of toils.

The column was only about fifty feet away from two housemaids, so they got a good look at them. They joked about how strange they seemed, and kidded each other that they may have just seen an apparition. Suddenly, as if realizing exactly where they were, the housemaids got serious and decided to turn around just after they passed by the balcony to see if she could find out where the men were going. In a matter of moments, they were back at the site where the party had been seen…but the oddly-dressed boys and their picks and shovels were gone.

These incidents were widely reported to the local press. Of course The Winchester Mansion soon became known as “the most haunted house in the West.” Mrs. Winchester was also blessed with the faculty of second sight. A few months later, 5.13 Pacific Standard Time on Wednesday, April 18, 1906, the coast of Northern California was struck by a major Earthquake with an estimated moment magnitude of 7.9 and a maximum Mercalli intensity of XI. It severely damaged Mrs. Winchester’s home, toppling the nine-story Observational Tower and some cupolas. She herself was badly shaken, trapped in her favourite Daisy Bedroom near the front of the mansion. It took several caretakers hours to locate her and then pry open the door and rescue her.

It had been reported that Mrs. Winchester felt the Earthquake was a warning from the spirits that she had spent too much time and money on the front section of the house, which was nearing completion. After having the structural damage repaired, she immediately ordered the front thirty rooms—including the Daisy Bedroom, Grand Ballroom, and the beautiful front doors—sealed up. The heavy, ornate front doors, which had been installed just prior to the Earthquake, had only been used by three people—Mrs. Winchester and the two carpenters who installed them.

For further information about tours, including group tours, weddings, school events, birthday party packages, facility rentals, and special events please visit the website: https://winchestermysteryhouse.com/

Please visit the online giftshop, and purchase a gift for friends and relatives as well as a special memento of The Winchester Mystery House. A variety of souvenirs and gifts are available to purchase. https://shopwinchestermysteryhouse.com/