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Angels in the Early Morning Stand at Your Gate
When you do not get everything you need, the deprivation can help you become very resourceful by learning some great survival skills, like not passively waiting for someone else to provide for you. Generalization of a sentiment allows a person to make sense out of a new relationship by analogy to a more familiar one. Compassion, liking, shame, and other sentiments in adulthood are generalized from childhood primary group relations. Religious sentiments are generalized from family clan relationships, so that a deity (God) may be imputed moral authority, perpetual dependence by worshippers, and will be visualized as exacting but benevolent, like elders to a child. No person can be saved, accord to the words of God, save they shall have faith in his name; wherefore, if these things have ceased, then has faith ceased also; and awful is the state of humanity, for they are as though there had been no redemption made. However, if a person has faith one must also have faith; for without faith there cannot be any hope. Pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that you may be filled with this love, which he has bestowed upon all who are true. So, when God shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
When individuals are pushed into a place where one has to keep oneself alert to avoid being hurt, one often develops excellent observation skills and survival instincts. These individuals tend to see what is going on around them faster then those who grew up protected by the adults in their lives. If one has witnessed a lot of dysfunctional behavior, it may have helped the individual learn how to avoid potentially harmful situations and people. If one’s parents were harsh and not protective, it may cause individuals to have strengthened their determination to be healthier in one’s own adult life. The selective combination of person symbols into a sentiment may cumulate across many relationships. Romantic love, for instance, may incorporate a selection of emotional reactions from previous relationship. As a composite of previous loves, romantic attraction is felt when a partner is found who reintegrates favorite aspects of family members, friends, and earlier romantic lovers. Romance’s intensity is increased by the sudden discovery in one person of these formerly separate, desired qualities associated with previous lovers. This discovery evokes the set of earlier love responses simultaneously. Religious feeling may develop similarly through summation of different sensations, memories, and other affective elements into a sentiment. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
Religious sentiment builds from a merger of feelings experiences in collective singing, esthetic responses to music and religious adornments, emulations of the service leader’s example, the facial and gestural expression of other worshippers, and other sensations and impressions across many episodes of worship. “Pray for those who are lost that repentance may come unto them. However, behold, I fear lest the Spirit has ceased striving with them; and in this part of the land they are also seeking to put own all power and authority which comes from God; and they are denying the Holy Ghost (Moroni 8.28).” You may have many more strengths that you are not aware of because of having been less fortunate than other children in how you were nurtured and raised. Keep in mind that within our vulnerabilities is structure that has been erected by the architect of consummate skill and fidelity; its foundations are solid, its compartments are beautiful, as well as useful; its arrangements are full of wisdom and order and its defenses are impregnable from without. It has been reared for immortality, if the individual may greatly aspire to such a title. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
In addition to consistency and personal symbols of sentiments, a child learns to apply a sentiment as an interactional technique and resource. The strategic effect of its expression become part of the sentiment’s social meaning. For example, shame or guilt are often learned as defensive tactics that deter punishment when they are displayed. Sentiments are learned not only as ideals, but also as practical resources for interaction, depending on how others respond to the child’s various attempts at strategic expression. Children’s humor is initially a private enjoyment of incongruous symbolic relations among familiar objects. If people are responsive and socially rewarding, children learn to initiate joking and clowning as a social affective resource. Sentiments are socialized to some degree outside the primary group, through impersonal media such as books, films, and music. A content analysis of manners books found that books addressed to the youngest children stressed polite overt behavior and the ideal outcomes of friendships. Greetings, honesty, and other overt, ideals means to build friendships were described. In contrast, books for adolescents emphasized social techniques and less ideal outcomes. Selfishness and jealousy were portrayed as facts of human nature. The books recommended pretenses, concealment of eagerness, skillful avoidance of undesired friends, and other strategies as effective for friendship and romance. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants fire in our hearts and bring peace to our minds. It is fairly common to react to old memories by lapsing into old, dysfunctional forms of trying to protect yourself. When you were a vulnerable little child, you may have tired to protect yourself from your pain, fear, or stress by one of the universal, instinctive responses to danger; that is, to become defensive, try to escape, or become numb. Now that you are an adult, your tactics of self-protection many not be as obvious as your childhood responses were. Impersonal media are especially influential in a complex, literate society such as ours, but are not a new socialization process. The influential love films, Love Triangle (a Markiss McFadden film), Home Again, Romeo Must Die, and Queen of the Damned, Stuck in Love, Fear and Legally Blonde socialized audiences into turbulent suffering and ecstasy to be experienced in courtly love that is compressed into two hours on the screen. Stages of love—hesitation, pleading, acceptance, and love service—were described. A list of love’s rules was followed by case studies of happy and ill-fated love affairs. These films have become the paradigm for modern romantic love. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
Impersonal media socialize a diversity of sentiments. Lovelorn advice columns, religious tracts, guides to living, and other media are directed to shape our definition and expression of sentiments. Popular psychology books instruct us how to open up to grief, overcome shyness, read others’ body language for erotic attraction, and how to say no without feeling guilty. Most popular songs like I Refuse by Aaliyah, Unusual You by Britney Spears, Stars are Blind by Paris Hilton, Halo by Beyonce, Faking It by Calvin Harris, Cry for You by Marilyn Manson and Korn, Number One by Dev, We’re All We Need by Above and Beyond featuring Zoe Johnston, Angel by Anita Baker, If Only You Knew by Pattie Labelle and Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller are just a few examples of the many popular songs about love. Their lyrics provide love’s vocabulary and the symbols through which it can be recognized. Music arouses appropriate moods as one hears how falling in love feels and what course love follows. Novels like House of Mirth by Edith Wharton and So You Call Yourself a Man by Carl Weber depicts vividly how sentiments begin, develop, and end in a relationship. “My love, do you know that your eyes are like stars brightly beaming? I bring your and sing you a moonlight serenade (Midnight Serenade by Glenn Miller).” #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
Dare You See a Soul at the White Heat?
If you were coming in the Spring, I would brush the Winter by with half a smile and half a spurn, as love does fly. If I could see you in a year, I would wind the months in balls, and put them each in separate drawers, until their time befalls. If only centuries delayed, I would count them on my hand, subtracting till my fingers dropped. If certain, when this life was out, that yours and mine should be, I would toss it yonder like a rind, and taste eternity. However, not, all ignorant of the length of time’s uncertain wing, it goads me, like the goblin bee, that will not state its sting. Anticipation of a relationship can stimulate arousal. An individual awaiting a loved one’s return may work up a feeling for a spontaneously intimate reunion. Imaginative rehearsals stir anxiety, muscular tension, and ready gestures for the forthcoming interaction. Anticipatory arousal is functionally important when immediate, full enactment of a sentiment is required. Parental love cannot be left to a gradual, haphazard acquisition. Parents-to-be are primed for the infant’s arrival by anticipatory socialization and by the anxiety cued by the mother’s pregnancy. The newborn’s amorphous personality serves as the perfect screen for the projection of parental emotions, as sentiments long held in abeyance are released like coiled springs by the baby’s birth. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
A death-blow is a life-blow to some who, till they died, did not alive become; who, had they lived, and died, but when they died, vitality begun. Anticipation of tragic events, or worry work, focuses attention on possible dangers and allows planning. Anticipatory grief precedes the death of a loved one. This anticipatory sentiment sensitizes survivors to the impending change of relationship, and allows them to experience part of the emotion appropriate to the disaster before it occurs. The right to perish might be thought an undisputed right, attempt it, and the Universe upon the opposite will concentrate its officers—you cannot even die, but nature and humankind must pause to pay you scrutiny. Memories of past interactions and relationships evoke heightened feeling within the extended time frame of sentiments. Reminiscent arousal often develops when members of an enduring group, such as a family, recall shared sentiments from their collective past. Reference to some symbol that designates the whole event triggers an in-group meaning, including the corresponding sentiment. Through collective worship, faith is created and periodically recreated through rites, as a result of which people are more confident because they feel themselves stronger, and they really are stronger, because forces which were languishing are now reawakened in the consciousness. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
As people experiment with deepening their awareness in family and social influences, one will find that one can be creative and playful in learning more about oneself. This is also an area where one can invite their partner, or someone an individual is getting to know, to join in awareness skills of curiosity and mindfulness. Group membership provides the reference points and categories in which memories reside. Individual memories become assimilated to collectively defined and revised memories, which in enduring groups are partial to optimistic, bonding sentiments. New feet within my garden go, new fingers stir the sod; a troubadour upon the elm betrays the solitude. New children play upon the green, new weary sleep below; and still the pensive Winter returns, and still the punctual snow! Take care, for God is here, that is all. The breaking of the day addeth to my degree; if any ask me how, artist, who drew me so, must tell! Arousal may be stimulated by observing another person’s situation or that person’s effective expressions, conventional or innate. Perhaps the important sociological questions about gestures is not their origin, but whether natural ones have different social effects than conventional ones. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
A picture of deep connection and happiness for one person can be another person’s nightmare of disconnection and dissatisfaction. The point is to keep talking about it and see where the conversation takes you. Rapid transmission and intensification of collective feelings occur when people respond directly to innate gestures instead of interpreting them. This unites people on the most primitive level to overcome problems and occurs in groups where people are sensitizing to one another’s reactions. Asserting that the basic communicative expressions in rituals are innate signals, people are vulnerable to control by elites who gain power over ritual resources that excite our natural affectivity. Our innate responsiveness to gestures like crying, jeering, and laughter leaves us susceptible to political and emotional manipulation. However, the Spirit of the Lord is Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no disposition to do evil, but to do good continually. And we, ourselves, also, through the infinite goodness of God, and the manifestation of his Spirit, have great view of that which is to come; and were it expedient, we could prophesy of all things. And it is the faith which we have had on the things which our king has spoken unto us that has brought us to this great knowledge, whereby we do rejoice with such exceedingly great joy. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
And we are willing to enter into a covenant with our God to do his will, and to be obedient to his commandments in all things that he shall command us, all the remainder of our days, that we may not bring upon ourselves a never-ending torment, as has been spoken by the angel, that we may not drink out of the cup of the wrath of God. We have a choice, we do not have to be the victims of loneliness. Remembering and understanding the lessons of the past will give one much more control over how we choose to act in the present. Emotional arousal is generated by the singing, dancing, chanting, and other ritual actions of people in collective assembly, which awakens religious sentiments upon reaching a certain level of intensity. This social effervescence changes the conditions of psychic activity: vital energies are overexcited, passions are active, sensations stronger. This arousal is socially interpreted. Excitement becomes generalized to religious symbols and meanings, which are imbued with a sacred character as extraordinary as the feeling generated by collective ritual. The person feels oneself transformed and consequently transforms the environment one finds oneself in. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
Not knowing when the dawn will come I opened every door. Arousal may result from emotional contagion, but soon becomes interpreted according to social meanings Sentiments are finely discriminated for aspects of relationships and personality that are highly valued and strongly regulated. This is see more easily in cross-cultural studies. Traditionally, people in the British Colombian Village of Kelowna live in a manner which strongly enforces gentleness, mildness, honesty, and even-tempered restraint in expressing affection and disagreement. Respect for kin, age, gender, and other status differences in the central them in Kelowna, where the vocabulary makes fine distinctions among feeling states associated with respectful behavior. There is generally a feeling of respectful politeness in the community in which one displays kind impulses so as not to disturb the emotional equanimity of a spiritually superior person. These people made s covenant with God, and they are called the children of God, his sons and daughters; for behold this day he has spiritually begotten them; for he says that their hearts are changed through faith on his name; therefore, they are born of him and have become his sons and daughters. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
Don’t Insult the Guest in Your Own Home
Heroes and villains are largely defined by their treatment of others. “I don’t hate my dad. I feel sorry for him. But Clint is always taking things differently. I always felt like I had to be the middleman. I gotta…pull everybody together. I never wanted to be anything other than a baseball player. That’s it. I never thought about anything else. Whenever we played ball, we felt important. Whenever we played ball we were happy. Everything changed, and I don’t know why or when it did. I just know that it isn’t there anymore (Lane Winston).” Groups that are part of a person’s life identity will ensure conformity to basic values during a vulnerable condition of the individual, typically in childhood in the socialization process. The family becomes the strongest group, one that can accept deviations from many standards, secure in the ultimate adherence of the individual. Consequently, if a split occurs, such as the disowning of a child, it is most severe and traumatic. A similar situation occurs in the community; since communities are defined primarily by contrast to other groups and by their strong boundaries, the principal opinions for which conformity is required are those that assert identity of the group. #RandolphHarris 1 of 10
In the Film, Touching Home (2010), starring Ed Harris shows the enduring importance of groups, in our society, in this case, the importance of the family in socialization. The film is based on a true story. Ed Harris plays Charlie Winston, who has two twin sons, Lane Winston and Clint Winston, and the boys love baseball. It is their dream to grow up and become major league baseball players. When the boys were around eight years old, the police had to bring them home from their baseball game late at night in the rain. When they got there no one was home to greet them. They had won a trophy that night and left it on the table for their dad with a note that read, “FOR YUO DAD.” When Charlie got home, he saw the trophy, and picked up and threw it across the room. After he realized what he had done, he tried to glue the trophy back together with Elmer’s glue and passed out on the couch. Charlie’s sons, Clint and Lane woke up, saw what he had done, fixed the trophy, put it on the top shelf of their closet. “Everything is going to be okay, Lane. We just have to stick together,” said Clint, as the boys turned off the closet light and went back to bed. #RandolphHarris 2 of 10
Clint and Lane end up going to a community college where they play baseball. However, Clint’s grades dropped below mandated level and he lost scholarship and was kicked out of school, even though scouts had been looking to draft him. Lane also gets kicked off of the baseball team that same day and the boys had to go back home. They were ashamed that people would tease them for not being able to make in out of their small town and for having to come back home. Clint and Lane went to work at the quarry with their father, Charlie to save money so they could go to Arizona and try out to play baseball. At this point, Charlie is working every day and lives in his truck, which he parks in the woods. After work, Charlie askes the boys to join him for dinner at the “Redwood Restaurant.” They agree, but telling him that he cannot drink. However, later on, Clint refuses to go to dinner with his dad because he is afraid of being disappointed and Lane goes alone. The Redwood Restaurant is actually a wooden park bench in the forest, right by where Charlie parks his truck. Charlie and Lane share four cans of cold Chef Boyardee Beef and Cheese Ravioli by lantern light and have a pleasant meal. #RandolphHarris 3 of 10
Apparently, Charlie has a drinking problem, but has cut back to one beer a day. He lives in his truck because all of his money is spent paying restitution to the courts. However, we can see the optimistic effects of group memberships is displayed here as Charlie recognizes that the family serves as a source of comfort and protection, and assertion of identity in the community, so to reestablished his role as a father and responsible member of the community, he conforms to societal norms as closely as he can. Clint and Lane love their father and can see that he is a good man who has made some mistakes, but is trying to overcome them. While they are back at home, the boys end up living with their grandmother and they pay her rent, as the boys work to save up to go to Arizona for baseball try outs. Clint is really enthusiastic about saving up money, so he moonlights (gets a second job) at a laundromat. Lane spends more time with his father than Clint does. However, Lane’s priorities change as he spends more time in town when he meets a young lady name Rachael, and he wants to use his money to buy a car to impress her because he starts to doubt his ability at succeeding as a baseball play. #RandolphHarris 4 of 10
What is amazing about Lane is he is not embarrassed of his father at all and takes his girlfriend, Rachael and even shows her were his dad lives. Clint is not embarrassed, but they have some issues that need to be worked out. Clint has about $4,000.00 saved up, but Lane does not want to play baseball anymore, so the boys fall out and their friends tell them that they are twins and two halves of one thing and that they should stick together. Everyone can relate to how hard it is when there are barriers to your goals and how sometimes an individual gets tired of trying and experiencing up and downs in relation to their goals and just wants to give up. And it is nice that the boys have family and friends who care for them and they can stay in town and make a living. In a way, it is refreshing that in this small-town people are not as materialistic. And as fate would have it, Clint gets a wrench thrown in the program just when he is about to leave town. Clint sneaks into his room and steals the money. When he gets to Per Mill Creek Saloon, he shows the guys a picture of his twin boys that he has been carrying in his wallet since they were about three years old. Everyone tells him that his boys are good-looking. #RandolphHarris 5 of 10
After looking all of Clint’s money gambling, Charlie gets arrested and the Sheriff calls the boys down to come get their father. However, Charlie begs the officers to take him to jail, but they refuse to because no one got hurt. Charlie then tells his boys he is sorry and they take him home. The boys had been out when they got the call, so they did not know the money was missing, but after they drop their dad off, they go back to their grandmother’s house and Clint finds the jar of his money on the floor empty. He goes to confront his dad, and beats him up, Lane shows up and pulls Clint off of their dad. It just seems destine for the boys to stick together and perhaps that is why Charlie stole their money? Nevertheless, at work, Charlie passes out and the boys have to take him to the hospital, and Clint says he hopes his dad dies. Although the words are harsh, one can understand how it feels when a family member or someone you do not know robs you of your future and your hopes and dreams and all your time and effort seems to have gotten you nowhere. However, everything in life happens for a reason and sometimes we cannot see why God closed certain doors, but it may be to protect us from something. #RandolphHarris 6 of 10
Nonetheless, when you question if your parents love you or if someone makes you feel like you are alone and that even your family member who has passed away did not love you, and they are not around to defend themselves, think back on all the things they did for you and realize money is not everything. It turns out that Charlie had a binder full of newspaper articles about his sons and their accomplishments and it always made him feel better when he would look at it. Now, that is true love. Charlie is like a true American man, it is in his blood to work, in fact, it looks like he is working himself to death, but that is what keeps him alive. That is his love for his sons because it seems like he is barely hanging in there. Any outsider can tell that he seems to be just clinging to life. However, to his sons, Charlie is like a superman and will live through anything. They do not realize that he is getting older and that he is not as strong as he used to be. Clint and Lane do not really grasp the concept that their father is mortal, like most young people. Charlie ends up cleaning up his life and buying new clothes and going to therapy for his problems. #RandolphHarris 7 of 10
He takes his sons for baseball try outs again, and Lane almost got drafted, but scouts did not want to take a chance on him because he hurt his ankle during tryouts and they did not draft Clint because he was throwing 87 miles per hour and they needed the radar to clock him at 90 miles per hour. So, the family comes together and has Christmas together and Charlie tells his boys that he wishes that he was a better father and promises to pay them back every penny. After dinner, Charlie makes up an excuse to leave. The next morning the sheriff goes to get Charlie out of his truck to take him to therapy and finds him dead under a tree. The film did foreshadow Charlie’s death especially through reliving of the emotional undertones, and the intense emotional experience of chasing after dreams and the twins potentially being separated. However, it seems that Charlie took the money because he knew he was dying and he wanted time with his precious boys and knew he would not be around to protect them and that it was vital for them to stick together. Therefore, the experience of blowing the money was to get a few more moments of joy out of life and to protect his family, it was not sought for its own sake, not simply as a means to an end. #RandolphHarris 8 of 10
The time Charlie got to spend with his sons, his mother and his brother over Christmas was a movement that was very powerful, educational, and therapeutic. It was a tool for solving individual problems and for bonding. Clint and Lane buried their father under and Oak tree, and said their good byes. It was so important for them to have closure and a place where they can go to remember their father and communicate with him and show him respect. Clint finally gets his tooth fixed and they boys go to Arizona together for baseball tryouts. It was a very emotional movie and a great show. By the ending, I silently cried and had to wash my face and blow my nose. It was so touching. This film shows you how important families are and that forgiveness is a virtue. I am happy that Clint and Lane got to spend time with their father before he passed into Heaven, so they do not have to live with a hole in their hearts. Charlie may not have been a perfect father, but he loved his family and tried hard to overcome his affliction. Once a person is dead, that is it, they are gone, and your live is forever changed. Therefore, enjoy your family while you have them. #RandolphHarris 9 of 10
Acceptance is the calm recognition of the loss and the ability to carry on. Not everyone who suffers a loss reached this stage. “I told you of a place that I had been. It was dark and I was supremely alone. No matter now if the compass fails again because in your love, I built a home. We’re all we need, oh darling. Yeah, we’re all we need. Most certainly I’m where I’m supposed to be. In a molten Sun, with you I am free. Today our hearts won first prize because we’re wise with the feeling. Yeah, we’re all we need (We’re All We Need by Above and Beyond).” God, we ask you for your forgiveness for the wrongs that we have done and for the things that we have neglected. We ask you forgiveness for the people we have hurt along the way and those who we have failed to love as you Love. We ask for your forgiveness. God, we receive your forgiveness and resolve in our hearts that with your strength we determine not to make these errors again. God, we receive your forgiveness and by the power of your Holy Spirit, we walk away from everything we know to be wrong and embrace everything we know about you for the Kingdom, glory, and the power are always and forever yours. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 10 of 10
Randolph Harris II International Institute 