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Love is Not Cancelled–Human Nature is so Well Disposed Toward those Who are in Interesting Situations!
We have learned that we cannot live alone, in peace; that our own well-being is dependent on the well-being of other nations, far away…We have learned to be citizens of the World, members of the human community. We need greater virtues to bear good fortune than bad. Getting past the “E” word is important. Etiquette is the conductive or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social official life. There are a lot of specific guidelines that dictate how people should react in a given situation. However, these guidelines exist for a purpose: to help smooth the way for beneficial interactions between people by prescribing the ways in which we are expected to act and react to people around us. When we use the manners that are expected us of, the Heavens do not part, and crowds do not applaud us; life just goes on smoothly, the way it should. Only when we do not use them does the importance of good manners becomes obvious. For example, one manner states that if you say “Hi” or “Good morning” to a person at work, that person should respond in a like manner, since this is the considerate thing to do. So far, so good. However, if you say “Hi,” and your coworker did not say anything in return, what happens? How would that make you feel? You would probably wonder something like this, “Did I do something to annoy him?” or “Does not anybody ever notice that I exist?” or even “Do I look too attractive?” #RandolphHarris 1 of 21
Manner matter. Use them, and you will make the best impression possible. Still, no one can possibly know all the manners there are or remember precisely how to apply them in every situation. Etiquette is governed by three principles: consideration, respect, and honesty. These provide the framework for defining every manner that has ever been formulated. Each of these principles is timeless. These principles transcend cultural boundaries, cross socioeconomic boundaries, and apply equally to all ages. Consideration is understanding how other people and entities are affected by whatever is taking place. Consideration is empathy. It helps us to assess how a situation affects everyone involved, and then act accordingly. Respect is recognizing that how you interact with another person will affect your relationship with that person, and then choosing to take actions that will build relationships rather than injure them. Respect helps us decide how to choose to act toward others. Honesty is being truthful, not deceptive. There is a critical difference, too, between benevolent and brutal honesty: “I have a problem with that” verses “That is a stupid thing to say.” Honesty ensures that we act sincerely. Etiquette is a code of treating people—and making choices based on—consideration, respect and honesty. #RandolphHarris 2 of 21
When you apply the principles of consideration, respect, and honesty consistently, etiquette becomes a tool that lets you build better relationships and be more successful in every aspect of your life. Etiquette is not about doing what is correct. Etiquette is about doing what is right. To be fair, most men’s inconsiderate or disrespectful behaviour is not intentional. Men frequently get lost in their thoughts and go to far-off places in their minds without even realizing the journey has started or considering the consequences. That is when they get in trouble. Men get it right some of the time, but they do not generally spend enough effort really thinking through how their actions will affect the people around them. And that is what good etiquette really is: thinking about what the considerate, respectful things to do would be, and then doing it. By thinking about our behaviour, we turn each action into a conscious choice. The more we practice making those choices, the more often we will make good choices—and the better our lives and the lives of our loved ones will be. And that is what makes etiquette worth the effort. Consideration for the rights and feelings of others is not merely a rule for behaviour in public but the very foundation upon which social life is built. #RandolphHarris 3 of 21
The first rule of etiquette—which hundreds of others merely paraphrase or explain or elaborate—is: Never do anything that is unpleasant to others. The art of etiquette really comes down to being thoughtful of the people you encounter in your everyday life. We all tend to associate “proper behaviour” with formal social events—but true etiquette involves behaving with consideration and respect for others in everything that you do, from attending a high-society soiree to simply hanging around the house. Seven key behaviours that are considered bad habits are adjusting, nose picking, swearing, spitting, smoking and chewing tobacco, sloppy dressing, wearing a hat where they should not. The smell of smoke and the health implications of secondhand smoke are bad enough. And the casual way smokers toss their cigarette filters on the ground causes fires that ravage the forests. One cigarette filter carelessly tossed out a car window could do immense damage and cost lives. Please, if you have just got to smoke, dispose of the filter appropriately and safely. Also, dominating the communication makes one look as if one does not listen well. The underlying goal of being respectful and responsible is to treat your significant other like an equal but not like one of the guys. #RandolphHarris 4 of 21
You love your significant other, you care for her, you share your life with her. So focus on the qualities that engender those emotions in you and then let her know by talking optimistically about her. The fact is, however, etiquette is not about momentous acts. It is about smoothing the way through life for ourselves and the people around us. Burping and passing gas: It is remarkable how often these came up. While both are bodily functions that sometimes escape without warning, for the most part, it is possible to delay the inevitable until you move away or retire to a restroom. The feelings of our heart, the agitation of our passions, the vehemence of our affections, dissipate all its conclusions, and reduce the profound philosopher to a mere plebeian. Preserving conversation is a discernment and delicacy which arises from polite letters. Humans are reasonable beings; and as such, receives from their science proper food and nourishment: However, so narrow are the bounds of human understanding, that little satisfaction can be hoped for in this particular, either from the extent or security of one’s acquisitions. Humans are a sociable, no less than reasonable being: However, neither can one always enjoy company agreeable and amusing, or preserve the proper relish for them. #RandolphHarris 5 of 21
Humans are also active beings; and from that disposition, as well as from the various necessities of human life, must submit to business and occupation: However, the mind requires some relaxation, and cannot always support its bent to care and industry. It seems, then, that nature has pointed out a mixed kind of life as most suitable to human race, and secretly admonished them to allow none of these biases to draw too much, so as to incapacitate them for other occupations and entertainments. Indulge your passion for science, but let your science be human, and such as may have a direct reference to action and society. The political implications of person-centered education are clear: the student retains one’s own power and the control over oneself; one shares in the responsible choices and decisions; the facilitator provides the climate for these aims. The growing, seeking person is the politically powerful force. This process of learning represents a revolutionary about-face from the politics of traditional education. What is it that causes a teacher to reverse the politics of the classroom? The reasons are multiple. First I cite my own experience. As my point of view in therapy became more and more trusting of the capacity of the individual, I could not help but question the approach. #RandolphHarris 6 of 21
If I saw clients as trustworthy and basically capable of discovering themselves and guiding their lives in an ambience I was able to create, why could I not create the same kind of climate with graduate students and foster a self-guided process of learning? So, at the University of Chicago, I began to try. I ran into far more resistance and hostility than I did with my clients. I believe this had the result of making me more defensively rigid, putting all the responsibility on the class rather than recognizing myself as a part of the learning group. I made many mistakes, and sometimes doubted the wisdom of the whole approach. Yet with all my initial clumsiness the result were astonishing. Students worked harder, earned more, did more creative thinking than in any of my previous classes. So I preserved, and improved, I believed, in my ability as a facilitator. Although I began to talk and write about my experience, and some of my students worked in similar ways with classes they were conducting, there was always the nagging doubt that perhaps this procedure worked simply because of something in me, or some peculiar attitudes we had developed in Counseling Center at Chicago. Consequently it was enormously supportive to find that others had gone through similar struggles, were adopting the principles we had outlined, and were having parallel—indeed almost identical—experiences. #RandolphHarris 7 of 21
However, sometimes the students who have been clamoring for freedom are definitely frightened when they realize that it also means responsibility. There is also a healthy skepticism as to the reality of the change. Let one not think the teacher brutal for pouncing on one’s faults. One of the first duties of a spiritual guide is to correct the beginner, show where one has mistaken one’s way, and expose one’s fallacies of thought, and conduct. A competent guide will be quick to perceive and fearless to point out these matters however unpleasant a duty it be and however unpalatable to the pupil. It is part of the task of a spiritual director to point out tactfully but firmly the faults and deficiencies of one’s disciples, to make them more aware of what is needed in their moral self-correction. The spiritual director who is over-sever in one’s correction of the aspirant’s faults, needs correcting oneself. The paternal spiritual guide who coddles one’s bleating disciples renders than a disservice. It is a common experience with abbots of monasteries in the West and with self-actualized beings in the East that attention given to one disciple may rouse the ego’s conceit in one and the ego’s envy in others. The guide who refuses to appease the ego of those who approached one, may nevertheless be eager to help them. Yet they will resent one’s counsel and feel rebuffed! #RandolphHarris 8 of 21
They do not see that one is trying to help them in a wiser way by showing them how to help themselves. Only longer time and further experience may bring them to their sense and show them the logic of one’s advice and the prudence of one’s attitude. Sometimes placing the power of choice in the hands of the student brings a totally different sense of responsibility, and much greater effort. There may be an increase in self-insight, and a growing sense of maturity. When there is a person-centered approach in the classroom, all of these are typical outcomes. “Because I disliked school, I was surprised to find out how well I can study and learn when I am not forced to do it.” “I have never read so much in my life.” “Various ‘free’ discussions have helped me a lot to understand myself.” “It was like I was an adult—not supervised and guided all the time.” Not everyone has been so fortunate in attempting a person-centered approach. Joann Lipshires took over the teaching of three high school seminars in Human Relationships. She had great difficulty working through the problem of negative feelings—her own and those of the students. She thought one of the seminars was “a disaster.” However, her department chair-person encouraged her to continue, and gradually she could say that “I believe that my efforts finally have been successful in providing young people with something they desperately need.” #RandolphHarris 9 of 21
When she restricted her seminars to fifteen students, provided a more relaxed and comfortable environment, and made a rule that put-downs or killer comments would not be tolerated, her seminars began to follow the patterns that have become familiar. Students were almost unanimously favourable. Her report adds two other aspects that are not always so well documented. She shows how the changes in the school atmosphere, including a greater self-respect, and an improved ability to listen to others affects the politics of the family. Here is one student’s report: “By listening to my mother at home I learned to care about her as well as the things she has to say. I no longer classify her ‘mother’ or ‘parent’ (which to me is a sign of authority which I would defy under any circumstances) but as another human being who deserves just as much love and attention as I or anyone else does. We do not try to change each other’s thoughts on life anymore but we try to change each other’s thoughts on life anymore but we try to understand them first.” A parent of a sophomore who had taken Human Relations had this comment to make: “As a parent of a child who has taken the course Human Relations I would like to recommend it for other students. This course gave my children a chance to think about herself in many ways. #RandolphHarris 10 of 21
“It made her realize why she said things and how she felt about others. Her sense of values seems to have taken on a more optimistic form. The honesty in dealing with one’s feelings makes for a better person. I believe this is the type of course that could be taught in grade school.” In addition Ms. Lipshires has the report of two observers—student teachers assigned by the Education Department of a nearby college—on the discipline in her seminars. The reports have a similar tone: “Not only do they enjoy the class, but the trust the teacher places in them is returned by the students’ efforts to keep the class going and orderly.” “Discipline is a problem for most teachers. It is always viewed as the students walking al over the teacher’s authority—‘these kids have no respect!’ In Human Relations there never seems to be any serious discipline problems or even any smaller troubles, like getting everyone’s attention in class. The teacher is the key: she always expresses herself in terms of honest and real feelings and had enormous respect for the feelings of her students.” There could scarcely be a clearer statement of the way discipline by external authority is changed to self-discipline. The spiritual leader who is always soft and sentimental may help some of one’s pupils but one would help them more if, at the same time, one were also hard and firm. #RandolphHarris 11 of 21
The first attitude will attract more to a teacher, but without the second to balance it, neither one nor they will get the proper view of life. A true teacher must warn one’s followers against false expectations and irredeemable promises. One of the first tasks of a philosophy teacher is to restrain the missionary fervour of one’s younger pupils and to impress upon them the need of caution, great discernment, and even secrecy in this matter. It is not enough that one has the penetration to perceive the truth; one must also have the courage to tell it to one’s disciples, even though one knows it will shock them. The self-actualizes whose ego still harbours vanity will find it flattered by every new disciple, will be endangered afresh by every widening of one’s personal influence. One finds that the disciples come to one for their emotional comfort, they do not come for their ego’s emotional quietus. They want to remain enclosed in its little circle, not to be taken completely out of it. The kind of master needed and sought after by those who are on the religio-mystic-occult path is one who will take a keen interest in their personal life as well as spiritual welfare, one who is always willing to help them with any and every problem, one who by virtue of residence or correspondence is always and quickly available to them. The philosophic master is not like this but of a different kind. #RandolphHarris 12 of 21
One is not a missionary telling others that they must follow the Quest but an educator telling them that they may follow it if they so choose. The title “leader” implies its corollary “follower.” However, a spiritual leader of the kind here described does not want a mass of followers trailing behind one in a partisan spirit. It is enough for one to give others a few inspirations, ideas, insights, and yet leave them free to work on the material as they wish, unobligated to join any movement. It is needful for you to understand that a philosophic teacher never really wants anyone to follow one but only to follow Truth. Sokrates humorously described himself as practising the same vocation as one’s mother who was a midwife—the only difference between them being that whereas she helped women to deliver themselves of infants, he helped people to deliver themselves of the true ideas with which their minds were in labour. His business, like that of all genuine teachers, was not to impart truth as something new and foreign but to assist the student to elicit it from within oneself. Every genuine teacher tries in one’s work to lead the student’s mind in such a way that one’s thinking gradually changes without one’s becoming conscious of the fact at the time, although one will recognize it in retrospect. #RandolphHarris 13 of 21
Sokrates makes students think for themselves; stimulates them to solve their own metaphysical, personal, and emotional problems; periodically gives an inner mystical impetus to their meditation practice; and points out the pitfalls and fallacies which lie in their life-path. Because his outlook is so disinterested, because his primary purpose is to liberate and not limit them, to give and not get, such a teacher’s services can never be bought by anyone—although they may be claimed by those who are prepared to cast off the shoes of conventional prejudice at one’s door and who are willing to refrain loyally from imposing upon one their preconceived notions of what characteristics the teaching, the teacher, and the quest should possess. Thus if one will not shackle them, they are in their turn must not shackle one. Such would-be disciples are rare, but such teachers who practise what they preach are rarer still. Jesus as the Christ is the bearer of the New Being in the totality of his being, not in any special expression of it. Various Christologies have concentrated on his words, and his deeds or his suffering. These are enlightening if not cut off from he being of Christ. However, rationalism separated his words, pietism his deeds, and orthodoxy his suffering from his being; these systems forgot that the being of Christ is his work and that his work is his being, namely, the New Being which is his being. #RandolphHarris 14 of 21
When theologians overlook the being of Christ they cannot place the New Bring at the center of their thought. Concentrating on one’s acts, they unavoidably distort their meaning and relevance. They then no longer relate the Christ to the universal quest for a conquest of estrangement. This makes the Christ himself a stranger in humankind. On the contrary, we should remember that the traditional symbols of “salvation,” “redemption,” “grace,” “atonement,” “meditation” as applied to the function of the Christ, emphasize the universality of his role. The New Being in the Christ has universal significance. It is universally expected. On account of this, “Jesus as the Christ is the Saviour through the universal significance of his being as the New Being. What is his significance? Simply that the revelatory correlation in which Peter acknowledged his Messiahship remains revelatory for every human. While Peter was directly thrown into it, being face to face with the Christ in the flesh, we are in a different position. It is the same situation, but the participants in it are removed from it in time and space. The original miracle, together with its original reception, is the permanent point of reference, while the spiritual reception by following generations changes continuously. A whole ecclesiology is evidently implied in this statement. #RandolphHarris 15 of 21
The Church will be the community in which one experiences the original revelatory correlation in which Jesus was acknowledged as the Christ. The main point here is that this revelatory constellation has universal score. In this sense it is final, not that no more revelations may take place, but that all other revelations will be subordinated to it. The revelatory event in Jesus as the Christ. He is the miracle of the final revelation, and his reception is the ecstasy of the final revelation. His appearance is the decisive constellation of historical (and by participation, natural) forces. It is the ecstatic moment of human history and, therefore, its center, giving meaning to all possible and actual history…But it is only for those who received him as the final revelation, namely as the Messiah, the Christ, the Man-from-above, the Son of God, the Spirit, the Logos-who-became-flesh, the New Being. “I, Zeniff, having been taught in all the language of the Nephites, and having had a knowledge of the land of Nephi, or of the land of our fathers’ first inheritance, and having been sent as a spy among the Lamanites that I might spy out of their forces, that our army might come upon them and destroy them—but when I saw that which was good among them I was desirous that they should not be destroyed. #RandolphHarris 16 of 21
“Therefore, I contented with my brethren in the wilderness, for I would that our ruler should make a treaty with them; but he being an austere and a blood-thirsty man commanded that I should be slain; but I was rescued by the shedding of much blood; for father fought against father, and brother against brother, until greater number of our army was destroyed in the wilderness and we returned, those of us that were spared, to the land of Zarahemla, to relate that tale to their wives and their children. And yet, I being over-zealous to inherit the land of our fathers, collected as many as were desirous to go up to possess the land, and started again on our journey into the wilderness to go up to the land; but were smitten with famine and sore afflictions; for we were slow to remember the Lord our God. Nevertheless, after many days’ wandering in the wilderness we pitched our tents in the place where our brethren were slain, which was near to the land of our fathers. And it came to pass that I went again with four of my men into the city, in unto the king, that I might know of the disposition of the king, and that I might know if I might go in with my people and possess the land in peace. And I went in unto the king, and he covenanted with me that I might possess the land of Lehi-Nephi, and the land of Shilom. #RandolphHarris 17 of 21
“And he also commanded that his people should depart out of the land, and I and my people went into the land that we might possess it. And we began to build buildings, and to repair the walls of the city, yea, even the walls of the city of Lehi-Nephi, and the city of Shilom. And we began to till the ground, yea, even with all manner of seeds, with seeds of corn, and of wheat, and of barely, and with neas, and with sheum, and with seeds of all manner of fruits; and we did begin to multiply and prosper in the land. Now it was the cunning and the craftiness of king Laman, to bring my people into bondage, that he yielded up the land that we might possess it. Therefore it came to pass, that after we had dwelt in the land for the space of twelve years that king Laman began to grow uneasy, lest by any means my people should wax strong in the land, and that they could not overpower them and bring them into bondage. Now they were a lazy and an idolatrous people; therefore they were desirous to bring us into bondage, that they might glut themselves with the labours of our hands; yea, that they might feast themselves upon the flocks of our fields. Therefore it came to pass that king Laman began to stir up his people that they should contend with my people; therefore there began to be wars and contentions in the land. #RandolphHarris 18 of 21
“For, in the thirteenth year of my reign in the land of Nephi, away on the south of the land of Shilom, when my people were watering and feeding their flocks, and tilling their lands, a numerous host of Lamanites came upon them and began to slay them, and to take off their flocks, and the corn of their fields. Yea, and it came to pass that they fled, all that were not overtaken, even into the city of Nephi, and did call upon me for protection. And it came to pass that I did arm them with bows, and with arrows, and swords, and with cimeters, and with clubs, and with slings, and with all manner of weapons which we could invent, and I and my people did go forth against the Lamanites to battle. Yea, in the strength of the Lord did we go forth to battle against the Lamanites; for I and my people did cry mightily to the Lord that he would deliver us out of the hands of our enemies, for we were awakened to a remembrance of the deliverance of our fathers. And God did hear our cries and did answer our prayers; and we did go forth in his might; yea, we did go forth against the Lamanites, and in one day and a night we did play three thousand and forty-three; we did slay them even until we had driven them out of our land. #RandolphHarris 19 of 21
“And I, myself, with mine own hands, did help to bury their dead. And behold, to our great sorrow and lamentation, two hundred and seventy-none of our brethren were slain,” reports Mosiah 9.1-19. O my Lord, let not my ministry be approved only by humans, or merely win the esteem and affections of my people; but do the work of grace in their hearts, call in Thy elect, seal and edify the regenerate ones, and command eternal blessings on their souls. Save me from self-opinion and self-seeking; water the hearts of those who hear Thy word, that seed sown in weakness may be raised in power; cause me and those that hear me to behold Thee here in the light of special faith, and hereafter in the blaze of endless glory; please make my every sermon a means of grace to myself, and please help me to experience the power of Thy dying love, for Thy blood is balm, Thy presence bliss, Thy smile Heaven, Thy cross the place where truth and mercy meet. Look upon the doubts and discouragements of my ministry and keep me from self-importance; I beg pardon for my many sins, omissions, infirmities, as a man, as a minister; please command Thy blessing on my weak, unworthy labours, and on the message of salvation given; please stay with Thy people, and may Thy presence be their portion and mine. #RandolphHarris 20 of 21
When I preach to others please let not my word be merely elegant and masterly, my reasoning polished and refined, my performance powerless and tasteless, but may I exalt Thee and humble sinners. O Lord of power and grace, all hearts are in Thy hands, all events at Thy disposal, set the seal of Thy almighty will upon my ministry. The Apostles’ Creed, scholars believe, dates from After Death 250 and is the oldest creedal affirmation to attain universal acceptance. The purpose of the Creed is to make a Trinitarian confession and to affirm our solidarity with the universal Church of the ages. To do this properly the Creed must never be recited, but confessed. That is, one’s heart and mind must work together to genuinely affirm authentic belief. The “Gloria Parti” (Doxology) is mean to draw us upward in music for the purpose for which we have come—to give glory to God. It should be sung with our whole heart. O God, Who restores us unto eternal life by Christ’s Resurrection, fulfill the ineffable mystery of Thy loving-kindness; that when our Saviour shall come in His majesty, as Thou hast made us to be regenerated in Baptism, so Thou mayest make us to be clothed with a blessed immortality; through the same our Lord Jesus Christ. #RandolphHarris 21 of 21
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No matter how urgent our social needs are, all of us have needs for solitude, for times alone with ourselves. Again, the optimum selfhood experience includes a balance of solitariness, sociality, and peripheral interactions (“spectatorship”). There is in each of us a need for privacy and time alone. It is not so much a need to reject or repudiate others as it is a need to go within, to get acquainted or re-acquainted with our selfhood. We like to roam about our own house with no one to disturb us. Modern psychology had very modest beginnings. It set out to study memory, acoustic and visual phenomena, the association of ideas, and the psychology of animals. Wilhelm Wundt was perhaps the most important and influential figure in those early days of modern psychology. Psychologists then did not write for the general public, and they were not particularly well known. They wrote for their colleagues, and only a few novices showed any interest in their work and publications. When it shifted its focus to the motives behind human behaviour, that situation changed radically, however, and psychology started gaining in popularity. That field of inquiry has dominated psychology for the last hundred years. It concerns us all, of course, for we all want to know what it is that motivates us and why we act on the motives we do rather than on quite different ones. #RandolphHarris 1 of 23
If psychology can promise us some clarity on those questions, then it can obviously be of great value to us. And so it was that motivational psychology became perhaps the most popular of all sciences, and in recent decades it has, if anything, gained popularity rather than lost. Every human action has a motive behind it, and in every case that motive is an independent and innate instinct. We are born with instincts in us just as animals are. If we are aggressive, the reason is our aggressive instinct. If we are servile, blame our servile instinct; if we are avaricious, our avaricious instinct; if we are jealous, chalk that up to our jealous instinct; if we enjoy cooperation, then that is our cooperative instinct at work. If we are quick to flee danger, that is our flight instinct, and so on and so forth. Indeed, if we tally up all the instincts the instinct theoreticians have come up with, the final count comes to about two hundred different instincts, each one of which will motivate a certain kind of human behaviour, just as a key on a piano will, when pressed, produce a certain note. However, the problem with this extremely interesting edifice is that it is not properly constructed. It is actually not a building at all but only a mental construction that has no basis in reality at all. Human aggression can be traced back to a more or less innate aggressive instinct. #RandolphHarris 2 of 23
One weakness of instinct theory is its tendency to oversimplify. It is just too simple an answer to postulate an instinct for every single bit of human behaviour, and such postulation does not really explain anything. All it says is that actions have motives, that different actions have their own distinct motives, and that those motives are innate. However, none of that could be proved for most of the so-called instincts. There are a few—such as defensive aggression, flight, and also, to certain degree, behaviour involving pleasures of the flesh, though here we are even less sure of our ground—in which quasi-instinctive elements are present. However, here we must not overlook the fact that learning, the influence of culture and society, can significantly modify even those innate drives, so much so that in both humans and animals subjected to such modification the drives may almost disappear or, on the other hand, become greatly accentuated. The other weakness of the theory was that some instincts were strongly developed in some individuals and cultures yet almost nonexistent in others. There are, for example, primitive tribes that are extremely aggressive while others display practically no aggressiveness at all. The same has held true for individuals. #RandolphHarris 3 of 23
If someone comes to a psychiatrist today and says, “Doctor, I am so furious I would like to do something I cannot return from,” the psychiatrist does not say, “Aha, the aggressive instinct is very strong in this man.” Instead, he makes a diagnosis more along these lines: “This man must be ill. This aggressiveness he is expressing, this hatred that has built up inside him, is a sign of illness.” If the man’s aggressiveness were motivated by instinct, it would be normal, natural behaviour and not a symptom of illness. We find, too—and this is very important—that the most primitive of peoples, the hunter-gathers, the people at the very earliest beginnings of civilization, were the least aggressive of all human beings. If aggressiveness were innate, then it should have been most evident in the hunter-gatherers. In fact, just the opposite is true. It was the growth of civilization, starting about 4000 Before Christ; it was the creation of large cities, kingdoms, hierarchies, armies; it was the invention of war, the invention of slavery—and I use the word “invention” deliberately here, because neither of those things occur in nature—it was all these things that provided breeding grounds for sadism, aggression, and the desire to subjugate and destroy, ills that never existed to anywhere near that same degree among primitive, prehistoric peoples. #RandolphHarris 4 of 23
It was the weakness in the instinct theory that prompted the behaviourists to propose a totally contrary view. They maintain that absolutely nothing is innate in us and that everything people do is the result of social conditions and of very clever manipulation on the part of society or of the family. Concepts like freedom and dignity are thought by B.F. Skinner to be “pure fictions. They do not exist at all but are simply products of influencing human beings in such a way that they will think they want to be free. Neither a desire for freedom nor a sense of human dignity is inherent in human nature.” Let me give you a simple example of the theory at work. Little Leo will not eat his spinach. If his mother punishes him, she will not—as many parents know—get very far. And Skinner agrees that punishment is not the correct method. There should be no great lectures about spinach. It should simply be served. And if little Leo nibbles at it, then his mother should give him a friendly smile and promise him an extra piece of cake. The next time the spinach appears on the table, little Leo will be more inclined to eat it. Once again he wins his mother’s smile, and this time she gives him a piece of chocolate. And so things continue until little Leo is conditioned, that is, until he had learned that he will get a reward if he eats his spinach. #RandolphHarris 5 of 23
Who does not like rewards? And after that a while Leo will eat his spinach with pleasure, preferring it to any other vegetable. Now it is true that things can work out just that way. Skinner has invested a great deal of effort in finding the cleverest ways to do this sort of thing. The reward is not automatically repeated every time, for instance. It is omitted once, then reintroduced. Many ingenious studies and experiments have been made to see how people can best be seduced, how rewards can be used to make them do what the person giving out the rewards wants them to do. Skinner is not interested in why the manipulator wants people to do what one asks them to do, for Skinner does not think that values can have any objective meaning. If we reflect on the situation of a psychologist in one’s laboratory, then it is easy enough to understand Skinner’s position. Whether the animals eat or do not eat is not of much interests. The only think of interest is whether one can induce them, with one method or another, to eat or not to eat. And since behavioursts regard human beings too, themselves included, as guinea pigs, they are not interested in the question of why and to what end they condition others. They are interested in only two things: whether they can condition someone and how they can do it best. #RandolphHarris 6 of 23
The behaviourist separates human behaviour from human beings. One does not study people in the process of behaving; one studies only the product, and the product is behaviour. The human being who generates that behaviour is expressly put to one side. Human beings as such are unimportant; they are the subject of philosophy, of speculation. What interest the behaviourist is what people do. One chooses to ignore the question of why such astonishingly large numbers of people do not react the way they should react if the theory were correct. One is not disturbed by the fact that many people rebel, refuse o conform, do not fall for the subtle bribes that are ultimately the essence of this whole theory. The theory assumes that most people prefer to be bribed rather than to be themselves and to realize the potential of their own natures and talents. Instinct theory and behaviourism have one thing in common despite the great differences between them. Neither allows human beings the slightest control over their own lives. Instinct theory sees humans driven by impulses that lie far back in one’s human and animal pas. Behaviourism sees humans driven by whatever social constructs and conditions happen to be in effect. One is as dominated by the opportunistic and seductive tricks of one’s society as the human of instinct is by the history of one’s species. #RandolphHarris 7 of 23
However, neither of the two, neither human model as proposed by the two theories, is based on what humans actually want, what one is, what is in accordance with one’s nature. The two major schools account for the greater part of what does by the name of “modern psychology” today. And I should ass that behavioristic psychology professors at American universities are behavioursts, and Soviet psychology follows very similar paths for obvious political reasons. Christianity claims the Essential Godmanhood has, in a concrete event and a concrete human, appeared within the conditions of existence, inside the weft of history, without falling from essence and without being distorted by the ebb and flow of existence. In Christ “Eternal Goodmanhood” had been seen. When it was seen Jesus was known as the Christ, the expectation of humankind finally fulfilled, the One who brings in the new eon, the New Being. Jesus is the Christ for us. And because the Christ means Essential Godmanhood, the Christ is God-for-us. Jesus would not have been the Christ, and, as the Christ, he would not have been the manifestation of Eternal Godmanhood, if humanity had not acknowledged him. For there is no revelatory situation without the ecstasy of recognition in which one discovers a manifestation of being-itself. #RandolphHarris 8 of 23
The symbol of the Christ, therefore, which is borrowed from the Jewish conception of the Messiah, or King, or Anointed, can easily be distorted. Jesus as the Christ must not be seen as a God walking on Earth, as a divine-human automaton without serious temptation, real struggle, or tragic involvement in the ambiguities of life. This would be a misunderstood myth. It could not be the manifestation of a reality in which one partakes. It would not be the revelation of the ground of being. Caught in existential estrangement, humans could not grasp the meaning of a divine-human avatar. A human being names Jesus who would not be subject to the involvements of existence could not be revelatory since humans could not step into the non-existential theological circle where one would make sense. On the contrary, the Christ has been known, touched with our hands, seen with our eyes. And he has been known, not only as a man named Jesus, but as Jesus who is called the Christ. This means that in Jesus we have the picture of a personal life which is subjected to all the consequences of existential estrangement but wherein existential estrangement is conquered in oneself and a permanent unity is kept with God. The ground of being, which we only perceive in hope, to which we are unconditionally committed without the evidence that we are in contact with it, dominated the ambiguities of existence in Christ. #RandolphHarris 9 of 23
Under its power, the power, the Christ did not undergo original sin; his existence did not imply a fall: it maintained in its integrality the dominion of Essential Goodmanhood over the tragedies of life. The universal quest of humankind has been for this return to unity, for this recovery of the ground of being which supports us and from which we are estranged. To perceive it in the Christ is to hear the good news that the Christ is the one who brings in the new eon, to expect the coming of a new state of things through him, the state of things in which we ourselves have recovered Essential Godmanhood and have risen from the state of estrangement to that of reunion with being-itself. The symbol of New Being is human’s quest to conquer the dichotomy between subject and object. New Being is essential being under the conditions of existence, conquering the gap between essence as existence. This symbol itself can misread. The Bing which is manifested in Christ is new indeed, but not in the sense that is has done away with the circumstances of estrangement that mark existential being. Tragedy is still here, but henceforth it has been conquered. It is there, but no longer as victorious. The New Being is new insofar as it is the undistorted manifestation of essential being insofar as it is the undistorted manifestation of essential being within and under the conditions of existence. #RandolphHarris 10 of 23
It is new in two respects: it is new in contrast to the merely potential character of essential being; and it is new over against the estranged character of existential being. In the Christ alone, human’s relation to the ground of being is fully actual and fully undistorted. In ourselves, subject as we are to existential estrangement, Godmanhood is only potential; it is a state of dreaming innocence in which we never were and from which, speaking symbolically, we feel when we came into being. Our actual being is divorced from it, and the constant dream of human has been for a return to the beginning, a restoration of that which has been lost because never had it, innocence, essence, Godmanhood. This is the New Being we long for. In Christ it has been manifested. Essential being has come o existence without distortion. Innocence has become experience without losing its pristine virginity. Estrangement has been conquered. The New Being has appeared in a personal life. We want to communicate to you an experience we have had that here and there in the World and now and then in ourselves is a New Creation, usually hidden, but sometimes manifest, and certainly manifest in Jesus who is called the Christ. #RandolphHarris 11 of 23
Out of their participation in the revelatory situation in which Jesus is perceived to be the Christ, Christians witness to the vision they have had of the New Reality, which is reconciliation, reunion, resurrection. The New Creation, the New Being, the New state of things. As we pray in faith, we become a vital part in the Lord’s work as He prepares the World for His Second Coming. The transcendent events we honour were the beginning of the prophesied last dispensation, in which the Lord is preparing His Church and His people, those who bear His name, to receive Him. As part of our preparation for Hid coming, He will lift each of us so we may rise to spiritual challenges and opportunities. The work of the Lord in these last days, is one of vast magnitude and almost beyond the comprehension of mortals. Its glories are past description, and its grandeur unsurpassable. It is the theme which has animated the bosom of prophets and righteous humans from the creation of the World down through every succeeding generation to the present time; and it is truly the dispensation of the fullness of times, when all things which are in Christ Jesus, whether in Heaven or on Earth, shall be gathered together in Him, and when all things shall be restored, as spoken of by all the holy prophets since the World began; for in it will take place the glorious fulfilment of the promises made to he fathers, while the manifestations of the power of the most High will be great, glorious, and sublime. #RandolphHarris 12 of 23
We feel disposed to go forward and unite our energies for the upbuilding of the Kingdom, and establishing the Priesthood in their fullness and glory. The work which has to be accomplished in the last days is one of vast importance, and will call into action the energy, skill, talent, and ability of the Saints, so that it may roll forth with glory and majesty. “Thou sawest till that a stone was cut out without hands, which smote the image upon his feet that were of iron and clay, and brake them to pieces. Then was the iron, the clay, the brass, the silver, and the gold, broken to pieces together, and became like the chaff of the Summer threshing floors; and the wind carried them away, that no place was found for them: and the stone that smoke the image became a great mountain, and filled the whole Earth. And in the days of these kings shall the God of Heaven set up a kingdom, which shall never be destroyed: and the kingdom shall not be left to other people, but it shall break in pieces and consume all these kingdoms, and it shall stand forever. Forasmuch as thou sawest that the stone was cut out of the mountain without hands, and that it brake in pieces the iron, the brass, the clay, the silver, and the gold; the great God hath made known to the king what shall come to pass hereafter: and the dream is certain, and the interpretation thereof sure,” reports Daniel 2.34-35, 44-45. #RandolphHarris 13 of 23
The effect of standing before God by welcoming him before us will, by contrast, be the transformation of our entire life. All else that enters our mind, and especially the thoughts that first come to mind as we encounter various kinds of event that make up our lives, will be healthy, Godly, and good. The conclusions we “jump” to prompted by events around us will be those in harmony with the realities of a good-God-governed Universe, not the illusions of a Godless or a me-governed Universe, or one where humans are supreme—or no one is. My patterns of thinking will conform to the truth of scriptural revelation, and I will extend and apply those truths, under the guidance of God’s Holy Spirit, to all of the details of my daily life. Am I undertaking some task? Then I in faith do it with God, assuming and finding his power to be involved with me. That is the nature of His kingdom. Is there an emergency? I will mee it with the knowledge that God is in the midst of it with me and will be calm in a center of intense prayer. Am I praised? My thoughts (and feelings) will move immediately to the goodness of God in my life. Am I condemned or reproached? I know that God is supporting and helping me because He loves me and has a future for me. #RandolphHarris 14 of 23
Am I condemned or reproached? I know that God is over all and that He is working things out—that all things work together for good to those who love God and are called into the fulfillment of his purposes. And so forth. I constantly and thoughtfully engage myself with the ideas, images, and information that are provided by God through the Scriptures, His Son Jesus, and the lives and experiences of His people through the ages. In doing that, I am constantly nourished by the Holy Spirit in ways far beyond my own efforts of understanding. What I receive in response to my efforts is therefore also a gift, a grace. Spiritual (trans)formation of my thought life is achieved by the ministry of the Spirit in the midst of my necessary and well-directed efforts. This has special importance when I am faced with the presence of evil and suffering in human life, my own or at large. I realize that I will either allow my view of evil to determine my view of God and will cut Him down accordingly, or I will allow my view of God to determine my view of the evil and will elevate Him accordingly, accepting that nothing is beyond His power for God. King Benjamin continues his address—salvation comes because of the Atonement—Believe in God to be saved—retain a remission of your sins through faithfulness—impart of your substance to the poor—do all things in wisdom and order. About 124 Before Christ. #RandolphHarris 15 of 23
“And now, it came to pass that when king Benjamin had made an end of speaking the words which had been delivered unto him by the Angel of the Lord, that he cast his eyes round about on the multitude, and behold they had fallen to the Earth, for the fear of the Lord had come upon them. And hey had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the Earth. And they all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created Heaven and Earth, and all things; who shall come down among the children of humans. And it came to pass that after they had spoken these words the Spirit of the Lord came upon them, and they were filled with joy, having received a remission of their sins, and having peace of conscience, because of the exceeding faith which they had in Jesus Christ who should come, according to the words which king Benjamin had spoken unto them. And king Benjamin again opened his mouth and began to speak unto them, saying: My friends and my brethren, my kindred and my people, I would again call your attention, that ye may hear and understand the remainder of my words which I shall speak unto you. #RandolphHarris 16 of 23
“For behold, if the knowledge of the goodness of God at this time has awakened you to a sense of your nothingness, and your worthless and fallen state—I say unto you, if ye have come to a knowledge of the goodness of God, and His matchless power, and His wisdom, and His patience, and His long-suffering towards the children of humans; and also, the atonement which has been prepared from the foundation of the World, that thereby salvation might come to one that should put one’s trust in the Lord, and should be diligent in keeping his commandments, and continue in the faith even unto the end f his life, I mean the life of the mortal body—I say, that this is the human wo receives salvation, through the atonement which was prepared from the foundation of the World for all humankind, which ever were since the fall of Adam, or who are, or whoever shall be, even unto the end of the World. And this is the means whereby salvation comes. And there is none other salvation save this which hath been spoken of; neither are there any conditions whereby humans can be saved expect the conditions which I have told you. Believe in God; believe that he is, an that he created all things, both in Heaven and in Earth; believe that He has all wisdom, and all power, both in Heaven and in earth; believe that humans do not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend. #RandolphHarris 17 of 23
“And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourselves before God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would forgive you; and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them. And again I say unto you as I have said before, that as ye have come to knowledge of the glory of God, or if ye have known of His goodness and have tasted of his love, and have received a remission of your sins, which causes such exceedingly great joy in your souls, even so I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own nothingness, and His goodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even in the depth of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come, which was spoken by the mouth of the Angel. And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true. And ye will not have a mind to injure one another, but to live peaceably, and to render to every human according to that which is one’s due. #RandolphHarris 18 of 23
“And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the evil spirit which hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all righteousness. However, ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another. And also, ye yourselves will succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that stands in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar puts up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish. Perhaps thou shalt say: The human has brought oneself one’s misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto one of my substance that one may not suffer, for one’s punishment are just—however, I say unto you, O human, whosoever does this the same has great cause o repent; and except one repents of that which one has done one perishes forever, and has no interests in the kingdom of God. For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind? #RandolphHarris 19 of 23
“And behold, even at this time, ye have been calling on His name, and begging for a remission of your sins. And has he suffered that ye have begged in vain? Nay; he has poured out his Spirit upon you, and has caused that your hearts should be filled with joy, and has caused that your mouths should be stopped that ye could not find utterance, so exceedingly great was your joy. And now, if God, who has created you, on whom you are dependent for your lives and for all that ye have and are, doth grant unto you whatsoever ye ask that is right, in faith, believing that ye shall receive, O then, how ye ought to impart of the substance that ye have one to another. And if ye judge the human who puts up one’s petition to you for your substance that one perish not, and condemn one, how much more just will be your condemnation for withholding your substance, which does not belong to you but to God, to whom also your life belongs and yet ye put up no petition, not repent of the thing which thou hast done. I say unto you, wo be unto that human, for one’s substance shall perish with one; and now, I say these things unto those who are rich as pertaining to the things of this World. And again, I say unto the poor, ye who have not and yet have sufficient, that ye remain from day to day; I mean all you who deny the beggar, because ye have not; I would that ye say in your hearts that: I give not because I have not, but if I had I would give. #RandolphHarris 20 of 23
“And now, if you say this in your hearts ye remain guiltless, otherwise ye are condemned; and your condemnation is just for ye covet that which ye have not received. And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you—that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God—I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every human according to that which one has, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants. And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a human should run faster than one has strength. And again, it is expedient that one should be diligent, that thereby one might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order. And I would that ye should remember, that whosoever among your borrow of one’s neighbour should return the thing that one borrowed, according as one does agree, or else thou shalt commit sin; and perhaps thou shalt cause they neighbour to commit sin also. And finally, I cannot tell you all the things whereby ye may commit sin; for there are divers ways and means, even so many that I cannot number them. #RandolphHarris 21 of 23
“However, this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe them commandments of God, and continue in faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O human, remember, and perish not,” reports Mosiah 4.1-30. O Lord, I bless Thee that the issue of the battle between Thyself and Satan has never been uncertain, and will end in victory. Calvary broke the dragon’s head, and I contend with a vanquished foe, who with all one’s subtlety and strength has already been overcome. When I feel the serpent at my heel may I remember one whose heel was bruised, but who, when bruised, broke the devil’s head. My soul with inward joy extols the mighty conqueror. Heal me of any wounds received in the great conflict; if I have gathered defilement, if my faith has suffered damage, if my hope is less than bright, if my love is not fervent, if some creature-comfort occupies my heart, if my soul sinks under pressure of the fight. O Thou whose every promise is balm, every touch life, draw near to Thy weary warrior, refresh me, that I may rise again to wage the strife, and never tire until my enemy is trodden down. #RandolphHarris 22 of 23
Please give me such fellowship with Thee that I may defy Satan, unbelief, the flesh, the World, with delight that comes not from a creature, and which a creature cannot mar. Give me a draught of the eternal fountain that lies in Thy immutable, everlasting love and decree. Then shall my hand never weaken, my feet never stumble, my sword never rest, my shield never rust, my helmet never shatter, my breastplate never fall, as my strength rests in the power of Thy might. Tasting, O Lord, the fullness of Thy perfect sweetness, we beseech Thee that it may be to us for remission of sins and health of soul, through Thy mercy and grace. Receiving the Cup of the Lord’s Pasion, and tasting the sweetness of His most holy Body, let us give thanks and praise to Him, walking in His house with joy and gladness. We have received the Body of Christ, and drunk His Blood. We will fear no evil, for the Lord is with us. May Thy Blood be always life to us, and salvation of our souls, O our God. LORD our God, mercifully grant that we who have received the Body and Blood of Thine Only-begotten Son, may be far removed from the blindness of the unfaithful disciple, seeing that we confess and worship Christ our Lord, Very God and Humans. Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad. #RandolphHarris 23 of 23
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Preserve in us, O Lord, the gift of Thy grace; that by the power and virtue of the Eucharist which we have received, we may be fortified against all evils of this life and of the life to come. #CresleighHomes
So We Have Asked the Wrong Question: Satan Said to Eve, “You Will be Like God, Knowing Good and Evil!”
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One Might Call Me a Stepchild of Our Culture—I Might Have Been a Gold-Fish in a Glass Bowl!
The value of life is possessed, not in the length of the days, but in the use we make of them; a human may live long, yet live very little. Satisfaction in life depends not on the number of years, but on your will. The greatest thing in the World is to know how to be self-sufficient. There are certain typical difficulties inherent in our culture, which mirror themselves as conflicts in every individual’s life and which, accumulated, may lead to the formation of the neuroses. Since I am not a sociologist, I shall merely point out briefly the main trends which has a bearing on the problem of neurosis and culture. Modern culture is economically based on the principle of individual competition. The isolated individual has to fight with other individuals of the same group, has to surpass them and, frequently, thrust them aside. The advantage of the one is frequently the disadvantaged of the other. The psychic result of this situation is a diffuse hostile tension between individuals. Everyone is the real or potential competitor of everyone else. This situation is clearly apparent among members of the same occupational group, regardless of strivings to be fair or of attempts to camouflage by polite considerations. It must be emphasized, however, that competitiveness, and the potential hostility that accompanies it, pervades all human relationships. #RandolphHarris 1 of 21
Competitiveness is one of the predominant factors in social relationships. It pervades the relationships between men and men, between women and women, and whether the point of competition be popularity, competence, attractiveness or any other social value it greatly impairs the possibilities of reliable friendship. It also, as already indicated, disturbs the relations between men and women, not only in the choice of the partner but in the entire struggle with one for superiority. It pervades school life. And perhaps most important of all, it pervades the family situation, so that as a rule the child is inoculated with this germ from the very beginning. The rivalry between father and son, mother and daughter, one child and another, is not a general human phenomenon but is the response to culturally conditioned stimuli. It remains one of Dr. Freud’s great achievements to have seen the role of rivalry in the family, as expressed in his concept of the Oedipus complex and in other hypotheses. It must be added, however, that this rivalry itself is not biologically conditioned but is a result of given cultural condition and, furthermore, that the family situation is not the only one to stir up rivalry, but that the competitive stimuli are active from the cradle to the grave. #RandolphHarris 2 of 21
The potential hostile tension between individuals results in a constant generation of fear—fear of the potential hostility of others, reinforced by a fear of retaliation for hostilities of one’s own. Another important source of fear in the normal individual is the prospect of failure. The fear of failure is a realistic one because, in general, the chances of failing are much greater than those of succeeding, and because failures in a competitive society entail a realistic frustration of needs. They mean not only economic insecurity, but also loss of prestige and all kinds of emotional frustrations. Another reason why success is such a fascinating phantom is its effect on out self-esteem. It is not only by others that we are valued accord to the degree of our success; willy-nilly our own self-evaluation follows the same pattern. According to existing ideologies success is due to our own intrinsic merits, or in religious terms, is a visible sign of the grace of God; in reality it is dependent on a number of factors independent of our control—fortuitous circumstances, unscrupulousness, and the like. Nevertheless, under the pressure of the existing ideology, even the most normal person is constrained to feel that one amounts to something when successful, and is worthless if one is defeated. Needless to say, this presents a shaky basis for self-esteem. #RandolphHarris 3 of 21
All these factors together—competitiveness and its potential hostilities between fellow-beings, fears, diminished self-esteem—result psychologically in the individual feeling that one is isolated. Even when one has many contacts with others, even when one is happily married, one is emotionally isolated. Emotional isolation is hard for anyone to endure; it becomes a calamity, however, if it coincides with apprehensions and uncertainties about one’s self. It is this situation which provokes, in the normal individual of our time, an intensified need for affection as a remedy. Obtaining affection makes one feel less isolated, less threatened by hostility and less uncertain of oneself. Because it corresponds to a vital need, love is overvalued in our culture. It becomes a phantom—like success—carrying with it the illusion that it is a solution for all problems. Love itself is not an illusion—although in our culture it is most often a screen for satisfying wishes that have nothing to do with it—but it is made an illusion by our expecting much more of it than it can possibly fulfill. And the ideological emphasis that we place on love serves to cover up the factors which create our exaggerated need for it. Hence the individual—and I still mean the normal individual—is in the dilemma of needing a great deal of affection but finding difficulty in obtaining it. #RandolphHarris 4 of 21
The situation thus far represents a fertile ground for the development of neuroses. The same cultural factors that affect the normal person—leading one toward a shaky self-esteem, potential hostile tension, apprehensiveness, competitiveness entailing fear and hostility, enhanced need for satisfactory personal relations—affect the neurotic to a higher degree and in one the same results are merely intensified—a crushed self-esteem, destructiveness, anxiety, enhanced competitiveness entailing anxiety and destructive impulses, and excessive need for affection. When we remember that in every neurosis there are contradictory tendencies which the neurotic is unable to reconcile, the question arises as to whether there are not likewise certain definite contradictions in our culture, which underlie the typical neurotic conflicts. It would be the task of the sociologist to study and describe these cultural contradictions. It must suffice for me to indicate briefly and schematically some of the main contradictory tendencies. The first contradiction to be mentioned is that between competition and success on the one hand, and humanly love and humility on the other. On the one hand everything is done to spur us toward success, which means that we must be not only assertive but aggressive, able to push others out of the way. #RandolphHarris 5 of 21
On the other hand we are deeply imbued with Christian ideals which declare that it is selfish to want anything for ourselves, that we should be humble, turn the other cheek, by yielding. For this contradiction there are only two solutions within the normal range: to take one of these strivings seriously and discard the other; or to take both seriously with the result that the individual is seriously inhibited in both directions. The second contradiction is that between the stimulation of our needs and our factual frustrations in satisfying them. For economic reasons needs are constantly being stimulated in our cultural by such means as advertisements, “conspicuous consumption,” the ideal of “keeping up with Hiltons.” For the great majority, however, the actual fulfillment of these needs is closely restricted. They psychic consequences for the individual is a constant discrepancy between one’s desires and their fulfillment. Another contradiction exists between the alleged freedom of the individual and all one’s factual limitations. The individual is told by society that one is free, independent, can decide one’s life according to one’s own free will; “the great game of life” is open to one, and one can get what one wants if one is efficient and energetic. In actual fact, for the majority of people all these possibilities are limited. #RandolphHarris 6 of 21
What has been said facetiously of the impossibility of choosing one’s parents can well be extended to life in general—choosing and succeeding in an occupation, choosing ways of recreation, choosing a mate. The result for the individual is a wavering between a feeling of boundless power in determining one’s own fate and a feeling of entire helplessness. These contradictions embedded in our culture are precisely the conflict which the neurotic struggles to reconcile: one’s tendencies toward aggressiveness and one’s tendencies toward yielding; one’s excessive demands and one’s fear of never getting anything; one’s striving toward self-aggrandizement and one’s feeling of personal helplessness. The difference from the normal is merely quantitative. While the normal person is able to cope with the difficulties without damage to one’s personality, in the neurotic all the conflicts are intensified to a degree that makes any satisfactory solution impossible. It seems that the person who is likely to become neurotic is one who has experienced the culturally determined difficulties in an accentuated form, mostly through the medium of childhood experiences, and who has consequently been unable to solve them, or has solved them only at great cost to one’s personality. We might call one a stepchild of our culture. #RandolphHarris 7 of 21
The individual’s “own” group, then, may inform the code of conduct professionals advocate for one. The stigmatized individual is also asked to see oneself from the point of view of a second grouping: the normals and the wider society that they constitute. I want to consider at some length the shadow cast by this second standpoint. The language of this stance inspired by normals is not so much political, as in the previous case, as it is psychiatric—the imagery of mental hygiene being employed as a source of rhetoric. One who adheres to the advocated line is said to be mature and to have achieved a good personal adjustment; one who does not follow the line is said to be an impaired person, rigid, defensive, with inadequate inner resources. What does this advocacy involved? The individual is advised to see oneself as fully human being like anyone else, one who at worst happens to be excluded from what is, in the last analysis, merely one area of social life. One is not a type or a category, but a human being: Who said that the physically disabled are unfortunate? Do they, or do you? Just because they cannot dance? All music has to stop sometime anyway. Just because they cannot play tennis? Lots of times the Sun is too hot! Just because you have to help them down the stairs? Is there something else you would rather do? #RandolphHarris 8 of 21
Polio is not sad—it is just darned inconvenient—it means you cannot have those fits of temper and run into your room and kick the door shut any more. Disabled is an awful word. It specifies! It sets apart! It is too intimate! It is condescending! It makes me want to vomit like a wiggling creature coming out of the cocoon. Since one’s affliction is nothing in itself, one should not be ashamed of it or of others who have it; nor should one compromise oneself by trying to conceal it. On the other hand, by hard work and persistent self-training one should fulfill ordinary standards as fully as one can, stopping short only when the issue of normifcation arises; that is, where one’s efforts might give the impression that one is trying to deny one’s differentness. (This very fine line is drawn differently, of course, by different professionals, but because of this ambiguity it needs professional presentation all the more.) And because normals have their troubles, too, the stigmatized individual should not feel bitter, resentful, or self-pitying. A cheerful, outgoing manner should be cultivated. A formula for handling normals follows logically. The skills that the stigmatized individual acquires in dealing with a mixed social situation should be used to help the others in it. Normals really mean no harm; when they do, it is because they do not know better. They should therefore be tactfully helped to act nicely. #RandolphHarris 9 of 21
Slights, snubs, and untactful remarks should not be answered in kind. Either no notice should be taken or the stigmatized individual should make an effort at sympathetic re-education of the normal, showing one, point for point, quietly, and with delicacy, that in spite of appearances the stigmatized individual is, underneath it all, a fully-human being. (So complete is the individual’s derivation from society, that society can rely on those who are the least accepted as normal members, the least rewarded by the pleasures of easy social intercourse with others, to provide a statement, clarification, and tribute to the inward being of every human. The more the stigmatized individual deviates from the norm, the more wonderfully one may have to express possession of the standard subjective self if one is to convince others that on possesses, it and the more they may demand that one provide them with a model of what an ordinary person is supposed to feel about oneself.) When the stigmatizes person finds that normals have difficulty in ignoring one’s failings, one should try to help them and the social situation by conscious efforts to reduce tension. In these circumstances the stigmatized individual may, for example, attempt to “break the ice,” explicitly referring to one’s failing in a way that shows one is detached, able to take one’s condition in stride. #RandolphHarris 10 of 21
In addition to matter-of-factness, levity is also recommended: “Then there was the cigarette gag. That was invariably god for a laugh. Whenever I would walk into a restaurant, bar, or party, I would whip out a pack of butts, open it ostentatiously, take one, light it, and sit back puffing on it contentedly. That almost always attracted attention. People would stare and I could almost hear them saying, My! Is it not wonderful what he can do with a pair of hooks? Whenever anyone commented on this accomplishment I would smile and say ‘There is one thing I never have to worry about. That is burning my fingers.’ Corny, I know, but a sure icebreaker.” It should be noted that one who attempts to break the ice may, of course, be seen as exploiting the situation for what can be wrung from it, as novelists have pointed out. However, being able to break the ice, one may be demonstrating to oneself that one has superior control in the situation. A somewhat sophisticated female patient whose face had been scarred by a beauty treatment felt it effective upon entering a room of people to say facetiously, “Please excuse the case of leprosy.” It is also suggested that the stigmatized individual in mixed company may find it useful to refer to one’s disability and one’s group in the language one employs when with one’s own, and the language employed about one when normals are among their own—thus proffering the normals present a temporary status as wise one. #RandolphHarris 11 of 21
At other times one may find it appropriate to conform to “disclosure etiquette” and introduce one’s failing as a topic of serious conversation, in this way hoping to reduce its significance as a topic of suppressed concern: The injured man’s feeling that, as a person, one is not understood, combined with the non-injured person’s embarrassment in one’s presence, produced a strained, uncomfortable relationship which further serves to separate them. To relieve this social strain and gain greater acceptance, the injured person may not only be willing to satisfy the expressed curiosity of non-injured persons…but may also oneself initiate discussions of the injury. Other means of helping the others to be tactful toward one are also recommended, such as, in the case of facial disfigurements, pausing on the threshold of an encounter so the participants-to-be will have a chance to compose their response. A 37-year-old male whose face is grossly disfigured but who carries on a real estate business, “When I have an appointment with a new contact, I try to manage to be standing at a distance and facing the door, so the person entering will have more time to see me and get adjusted to my appearance before we start talking.” #RandolphHarris 12 of 21
The stigmatized individual is also advised to act as if the efforts of normals to ease matters for one were effective and appreciated. Unsolicited offers of interest, sympathy, and help, although often perceived by the stigmatized as an encroachment on privacy and a presumption, are to be tactfully accepted: “Yet, help is not only a problem to those who render it. If the disabled individual wants the ice to be broken, one must admit the value of help and allow people to give it to one. Innumerable times I have seen the fear and bewilderment in people’s eyes vanish as I have stretched out my hand for help, and I have felt life and warmth stream from the helping hands I have taken. We are not always aware of the help we may give b accepting assistance, that in this way we may establish a foothold for contact.” A polio patient author states a similar theme: “When my neighbours ring my bell on a snowy day to inquire if I need something from the store, even though I am prepared for bad weather I try to think up some item rather than reject a generous offer. It is kinder to accept help than refuse it in an effort to prove independence.” And similarly, an amputee: “A lot of amputees sort of humour the others to make them feel good because they are doing something for you. It does not make other people uncomfortable like it could if you were still standing up.” #RandolphHarris 13 of 21
The call, properly done, is a call from God who is inviting us corporately into His presence. We listen to God’s works with reverent, prayerful anticipation. As the call ends, we are led in an invocation which invites God to meet us and calls us to submit ourselves in worship, for His glory. When God stands before us, we stand before Him. Refusing to worship Him is a way of trying to avoid his face and his eyes. Even the One-and-a half-year-old Annie was enjoying water in the back yard with her brother Leo, and grandmother “Boomba.” Boomba gently counseled her to water the peonies, but she had just discovered mud by pouring water on a small patch of dirt. Boomba told her not to put water on the dirt because it makes mud and mud will “get everything dirty.” Well, mud it was anyway, and little Annie even put the mud into a small tub of water nearby, calling it then “warm chocolate,” and she ate some. Boomba, who had been reading facing away from the action, soon discovered and cleaned up what to her was a mess, and then returned to her reading, but now seated so as to be facing Annie. However, the little girl soon resumed her “warm chocolate” routine, saying sweetly, “Do not look at me, Boomba. Okay?” Boomba of course agreed, and looked down at her reading. #RandolphHarris 14 of 21
Then Annie would make black mud and put some of it in the tub. And then some more. Three times she said, as she continued with her work, “Do not look at me, Boomba. Okay?” The tender soul of a little child shows us how necessary it is to us that we unobserved in our wrong. The adult soul carries the same burden—but now so great as to be crushed by it. And when the face of God will no longer be avoidable, that soul will cry out in agony “to the mountains and to the rocks, ‘Fall on us and hide us from the face Him who sits on the throne,’” reports Revelation 6.15-16. The so-called “right to privacy” of which so much is made in contemporary life is in very large measure merely a way of avoiding scrutiny in our wrongdoing. King Benjamin addresses his people—he recounts the equity, fairness, and spirituality of his reign—he counsels them to serve their Heavenly King—those who rebel against God will suffer anguish like unquenchable fire. About 124 Before Christ. “And it came to pass that after Mosiah had done as his father had commanded him, and had made a proclamation throughout all the and, that the people gathered themselves together throughout all the land, that they might go up to the temple to hear the words which king Benjamin should speak unto them. And there were a great number, even so many that they did not number them; for they had multiplied exceedingly and waxed great in the land. #RandolphHarris 15 of 21
“And they also took the firstlings of their flocks, that they might offer sacrifice and burnt offerings according to the law of Moses; and also that they might give thanks to the Lord their God, who had brought them out of the land of Jerusalem, and who had delivered them out of the hands of their enemies, and had appointed just humans to be their teachers, and also a just man to be their kind, who had established peace in the land of Zarahemla, and who had taught them to keep the commandments of God, that they might rejoice and be filled with love towards God and all humans. And it came to pass that when they came up to the temple, they pitched their tents round about, every human according to one’s family, consisting of one’s wife, and one’s sons, and one’s daughters, and their sons, and their daughters, from the eldest down to the youngest, every family being separate one from another. And they pitched their tents round about the temple, every human having one’s tent with the door there of towards the temple, that thereby they might remain in their tents and hear the words which king Benjamin should speak unto them; for the multitude being so great that king Benjamin could not teach them all within the walls of the temple, therefore he caused a tower to be erected, that thereby his people might hear the words which he should speak unto them. #RandolphHarris 16 of 21
“And it came to pass that he began to speak to his people from the tower; and they could not all hear his words because of the greatness of the multitude; therefore he caused that the words which he spake should be written and sent forth among those that were not under the sound of his voice, that they might also receive his words. And these are the words which he spake and caused to be written, saying: My brethren, all ye that have assembled yourselves together, you that can hear my words which I shall speak unto you this day; for I have not commanded you to come up hither to trifle with the words which I shall speak, but that you should hearken unto me, and open your ears that ye may hear, and your hears that ye may understand, and your minds that the mysteries of God maybe unfolded to your view. I have not commanded you to come up hither that ye should fear me, or that ye should think that I of myself am more than a mortal man. However, I am like as yourselves, subject to all manner of infirmities in body and mind; yet I have been chosen by this people, and consecrated by my father, and was suffered by the hand of the Lord that I should be a ruler and a king over this people; and have been kept and preserved by his matchless power to serve you with all the might, mind and strength which the Lord hath grated unto me. #RandolphHarris 17 of 21
“I say unto you that as I have been suffered to spend my days in your service, even up to this time, and have not sought gold nor sliver nor any manner of riches of you; neither have I suffered that ye should be confined in dungeons, nor that ye should make slaves of one another, nor that ye should murder, or plunder, or steal, or commit adultery; nor even have I suffered that ye should commit any manner of wickedness, and have taught you that ye should keep the commandments of the Lord, in all things which he hath commanded you—and even I, myself, have labored with mine own hands that I might serve you, and that ye should not be laden with taxes, and that there should nothing come upon you which was grievous to be borne—and of all these things which I have spoken, ye yourselves are witnesses this day. Yet, my brethren, I have not done these things that I might boast, neither do I tell these things that thereby I might accuse you; but I tell you these things that ye may know that I can answer a clear conscience before God this day. Behold, I say unto you that because I said unto you that I had spent my days in your service, I do not desire to boast, for I have only been in the service of God. And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God. #RandolphHarris 18 of 21
“Behold, ye have called me your king; and if I, whom ye call your king, do labor to serve you, then ought not ye to labor to serve one another? And behold also, if I, whom ye call your king, who has spent his days in your service, and yet has been in the service of God, do merit any thanks from you, O how you ought to thank your Heavenly King! I say unto you, my brethren, that is you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice, and has granted that ye should live in peace one with another—I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting your from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants. And behold, all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments; and he has promised you that if ye would keep his commandments ye should prosper in the land; and he never doth vary from that which he hath said; therefore if ye do keep his commandments he doth bless you and prosper you. #RandolphHarris 19 of 21
“And now, in the first place, he hath created you, and granted unto you your lives, for which ye are indebted unto him. And secondly, he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you; and therefore he had paid you. And ye are still indebted unto him, and are, and will be, forever and ever; therefore, of what have ye to boast? Thou God of my end, Thou hast given me a fixed disposition to go forth and spend my life for Thee; if it by Thy will let me proceed in it; if not, then revoke my intentions. All I want in life is such circumstances as may best enable me to serve Thee in the World; to this end I leave all my concerns in Thy hand, but let me not be discouraged, for this hinders my spiritual fervency; enable me to undertake some task for Thee, for this refreshes and animates my soul, so that I could endure all hardships and labours, and willingly suffer for Thy name. However, O what a death it is to strive and labour, to be always in a hurry and yet do nothing! Alas, time flies and I am of little use. O that I could be a flame of fire in Thy service, always burning out in one continual blaze. Please fit me for singular usefulness in the World. Please fit me to exult in distresses of every kind if they but promote the advancement of Thy kingdom. Fit me to quit all hopes of the World’s friendship, and give me a deeper sense of my sinfulness. #RandolphHarris 20 of 21
Please fit me to accept as just desert from Thee any trial that may befall me. Please fit me to be totally resigned to the denial of pleasures I desire, and to be content to spend m time with Thee. Please fit me to pray with a sense of the joy of divine communion, to find all times happy seasons to my soul, to see my own nothingness, and wonder that I am allowed to serve Thee. Please fit me to enter the blessed World where no unclean thing is, and to know Thee with me always. May the holy Food and Drink be salutary to us, O Lord; may it fortify our temporal life, and give us life eternal; through Jesus Christ our Lord. O God, Who touchest us in the participation of Thy Sacrament, work out in our hearts the effects of its power, that through Thy Gift itself we may be fitted for the reception of the same; through Jesus Christ our Lord. May the Heavenly Mystery, O Lord, be to us a renewal of soul and body; and as we have gone through the performance of it, may we feel its effect, through Jesus Christ our Lord. We thank Thee, O Lord, Who refreshest us both with the partaking of the Heavenly Sacrament and with the solemn remembrance of Thy righteous servants, through Jesus Christ our Lord. May the vices of our hearts be overcome by this Medicine, which came to heal the diseases of our mortal nature. #RandolphHarris 21 of 21
This #PlumasRanch laundry room makes our heads spin with all that storage! 😍
Check out the interactive floor plans and virtual tours for this community on our website. Link in bio! https://cresleigh.com/cresleigh-riverside-at-plumas-ranch/
Almighty and everlasting God, preserve the works of Thy mercy, and pour into our hearts the sweetness of the Body and Blood of Thine Only-begotten Son Jesus Christ our Lord. #CresleighHomes
If Someone Breaks a Law and Harms Someone Else, What Should Happen?
Is that a Monet? No, wait, that’s just your gorgeous backyard on display thanks to the extra-large windows in your dining room. Who needs a statement piece when your landscaping can speak for itself. 🤩 // #MillsStation Residence 2
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There are Two things to Aim at in Life: First to Get What You Want; and, After that, To Enjoy it!
The best accent piece in your Great Room? Vaulted ceilings. Good thing #MillsStation Residence 2 is built to maximize your natural light. 🤩 Check out the interactive floor plan and video walkthrough on our website! Link in bio.
https://cresleigh.com/mills-station/residence-2/
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The People Will Live on—The Learning and Blundering People Will Live on!
Why do we love @HUBApts kitchens so much? Their streamlined design and modern color palette make us want to cook all day, every day. And we are loving it! https://sites.google.com/fpimgt.com/hubvirtualtours/home4
Better to Write of Laugher than of Tears Because to Laugh is Proper to a Human!
Unlike the child, the youth becomes an individual who thinks beyond the present and forms theories about everything, delighting especially in considerations of that which is not. Not many people believe in actual evil anymore—not even in the Church. We live in a World that embraces relative truths and morality as the modern Church prepares itself for a figurative battle for souls. However, some of us have been preparing ourselves for a much more literal battle of Armageddon between very real forces of evil and those of good. We have some resources left to us from old days when people still believed that darkness walked among us. Those old rituals and spells shield this place from creatures that do not belong among the holy. There is in the brain of each individual the possibility for all these developments but they are not realized. Humans have a great more freedom than they ever use, because they operate out of habits, prejudices, and stereotypes. According to the deliberative model of democracy, it is a necessary condition for attaining legitimacy and rationality with regard to collective decision-making processes in a polity, that the institutions of this polity are so arranged that what is considered in the common interest of all results from processes of collective deliberation conducted rationally and fairly among free and equal individuals. #RandolphHarris 1 of 25
MILLS STATION AT CRESLEIGH RANCH
Rancho Cordova, CA |
Now Selling!
Mills Station at Cresleigh Ranch is Rancho Cordova’s newest home community! This charming neighborhood offers an array of home types with eye catching architecture styles such as Mission, Mid-Century Modern, California Modern, and Contemporary Farmhouse.
Randolph Harris II International Institute 