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How Come He got the Holy Ghost and Not Me?
There are three ways for language to affect us. It can move us toward what is good; it can move us toward what is evil; or it can, in hypothetical third place, fail to move us at all. What a dream has told us of our relations to the present (reality) we will then seek also in our consciousness, and we must not be surprised if we discover that the monster we saw under the magnifying-glass of the analysis is a tiny little infusorian. For all practical purposes in judging human character, a person’s actions and conscious expressions of thought are in most cases sufficient. Actions, above all, deserve to be placed in the front rank; for many impulses which penetrate into consciousness are neutralized by real forces in the psychic life before they find issue in actions; indeed, the reason why they frequently do not encounter any psychic obstacle on their path is because the unconscious is certain of their meeting with resistances later. In any case, it is highly instructive to learn something of the intensively tilled soil from which our virtues proudly emerge. For the complexity of human character, dynamically moved in all directions, very rarely accommodates itself to the arbitrament of a simple alternative, as out antiquated more philosophy would have it. #RandolphHarris 1 of 10
And what of the value of dreams in regard to our knowledge of the future? That, of course, is quite out of the question. One would like to substitute the words: “in regard to our knowledge of the past.” For in every sense a dream has its origin in the past. The ancient belief that dreams reveal the future is not indeed entirely devoid of truth. By representing a wish as fulfilled the dream certainly leads us into the future; but this future, which the dreamer accepts as his or her present, has been shaped in the likeness of the past by the indestructible wish. Awaken our souls! No longer droop in sin. May our hearts rejoice an give place no more for the enemy of our souls. May the gates of Hell be shut continually before us, because our hearts are broken and spirits contrite! God, do not shut the gates of your righteousness before us, that we may walk in the path of the low valley, that we may be strict in the plain road! God, please encircle us around in the robe of your righteousness! Lord will you make a way for us to escape from our enemies. Will you make our path straight before us! God, please will you not place a stumbling block in our way—but will you clear a way before us, and hedge not up our way, but the ways of our enemies. #RandolpHarris 2 of 10
It was not just a scare tactic employed by our church. I wanted God to show himself to me, so I had no choice, but to get worthy and become a person God paid attention to, before it was too late. I wanted God to be my best friend, so I made it my goal to mention him every day and thank him and tell him what I desire. It is important that we maintain a deep, personal faith. God loves us and he protects us. This makes us want to be good to others. It is generally accepted that all life on Earth has been created by God exactly as it exists in the present, and the belief that life forms cannot change is known as fixity of species. The plan of the entire Universe is viewed as God’s design. The argument from design explains that anatomical structures were planned to meet the purpose for which they were required. Wings, arms, eyes, and so on, fit the functions they perform, and nature was a deliberate plan of the Grand Designer. Also, many people believe that the Grand designer had completed his work fairly recently. An Irish archbishop called James Ussher (1581-1656) analyzed the begat chapter of the Book of Genesis in the Holy Bible and determined that the Earth was created in 4004 B.C. #RandolphHarris 3 of 10
Behold, my soul delights in the things of the Lord; and my heart ponders continually upon the thing which I have seen and heard. Archbishop Ussher was not the first person to suggest a recent origin of Earth, but he was the first to propose a precise date for it. And this date was so important to people, that for decades, book printers put in it Bibles, in the margin next to the Genesis account of the creation. This idea that we have been exposed to has impacted our lives in the most profound way possible. The prevailing notion of Earth’s brief existence, together with the fixity of species, provided a huge obstacle to the development of evolutionary theory because evolution requires time, and the idea of immense geological time, which today we take for granted, simply did not exist. Lord, we have trusted in you forever. We will not put our trust in humans as our saviors; for we know that cursed is one who puts their trust in the human as an idol. Yeah, cursed is one that puts their trust in humanity or the strength of human beings. Yeah, we know that God will give liberally to one who asks. Yeah, our God will give us, if we ask not amiss; therefore, we will lift up our voice unto God, as he is the rock of our righteousness. #RandolphHarris 4 of 10
Behold, our voices shall forever ascend up unto God, our rock and our everlasting God. Truth is the stubborn, objective restraint which evil endures to overcome. Base rhetoric is therefore always trying to keep its objects from the support which personal courage, noble associations, and divine philosophy provides individuals. Naturally enough, examples of the typical base rhetorician are the journalist and political propagandist, who especially avoid true dialectic and the concept of acts without agents; indeed, these features now also apply more closely to the so-called mental-health professional than to anyone else. Contrivance [that is, of base rhetoric] occur on every hand in the impassioned language of journalism and political pleading. In the World of affairs which these seek to influence, the many are kept in a state of pupillage so that they will be most docile. Nothing is more feared than a true dialectic. By discussing only one side of an issue, by mentioning cause without consequence or consequence without cause, act without agents or agents without agency, the cause-and-effect reasoning is blocked. #RandolphHarris 5 of 10
Small groups, as a feature of the social environment, is a convenient place to study many social phenomena; they are laboratories of social life, literally so in the experimental work of social psychology. This, each group represents a reality of social life, in addition to exemplifying more abstract principles of group dynamics. As the base rhetorician uses language to increase his or her own power, to produce convert to his or her own cause, and to create loyal followers of his or her own person—in contrast, the noble rhetorician uses language to wean people away from their inclination to depend readily accept anything they hear without proof, facts, and comprehensive consideration. We also encourage people to think and speak clearly so that they can be their own masters. The rhetoric at its trustiest sense [that is, noble rhetoric] seeks to perfect people by showing them better versions of themselves, links in that chain extending up toward the ideal, which only the intellect can apprehend and only the soul have affection for. This is the justified affection of which no one can be ashamed, and one who feels no influence of it is truly outside the consciousness of the Lord. If we know what happens to one particle, we can predict better what will happen to the other. This can be just as true in the description of a physical object as of a social unit. #RandolphHarris 6 of 10
It is possible to save time by turning people it the sources of spiritual power in their cultural heritage. We can define member of a social group in a similar way, for instance, by saying that is one member’s opinion is changed, this will affect the opinions of the other members of the group. This, of course, is just as true of different parts of the individual, for instance, of various organ systems, or of larger units of a society, of social classes, or of ethnic groups. The unity of groups is just as real as the unity of any other object we may specify. An individual cannot help his or her age; one can only express that it is doomed. And this is the only way in which one can bring help to it. The science of psychoanalysis has not yet acknowledged that human beings come in two genders. However, there is also an ungendered species of humans who do not accept the way they are born and are brained washed into thinking they are something other than what is described by their natural biology. All that is true and noble lies concealed in the origin. As nature is the origin of human life, so language is the origin of human creativity. #RandolphHarris 7 of 10
The base rhetorician seeks to move people toward evil; since it seems to be the nature of people that he or she wants to go to Hell as quickly as possible, it is not surprising the effective base rhetoricians can greatly accelerate this process for millions, and tens or even hundreds of millions of persons. After all, many individuals try to drive people into slavery, as if they are nothing more than human capital. And it makes sense, people who harvest organs value a healthy human being at about $1 million because that is how much they can get by illegally harvesting and selling organs. African American young men, for some reason, are especially vulnerable to these practices. We must urge people to be better than they are, the noble rhetorician cannot possibly succeed in changing those who prefer to remain as they are or become evil. Indeed, because our task is to bring people to themselves, not to us. Therefore, we should be judged on our clarity which we proclaim our counsel. Should not a single person heed our advice, the noble rhetorician will still have to be judged successful in proportion as we succeed in perfecting our own soul by perfecting our own language and behavior. #RandolphHarris 8 of 10
Success is purifying one’s self by purifying one’s own language. Did you know people who drink a lot of alcoholic beverages can develop gout in both legs and will eventually be confined to a wheel chair? It is fruitful to look at the small group as an extension of an individual in space or time. After all, the individual could not exist without the tradition of human culture as it has been developed, or without any other fellow human beings to keep one in the human condition. Many traits that makes us human are only developed and take on meaning from association with others, and from their meaning beyond individual lives. Examples of this would be the capacity for language and for nonverbal communication, the agility necessary for tool use, which depends on cooperation, and the capacity of the young to learn the culture of their society. The young, especially, by being born unprotected and needing a social group for a long time, assure human continuity. A child learns that obtaining real satisfaction is possible only through the medium of another person, and thus the circle between perception of a need, such as hunger and its gratification includes signaling and influencing another person who can supply nourishment. Dr. Freud constructed an early model of this interpersonal relationship as a basic part of the individual self. #RandolphHarris 9 of 10
These scriptures, which you had not with you, the Heavenly Father commanded that we should share them with you; for it is wisdom in one that they should be shared for generations. In many other ways, the development of a complete human being is emotionally as we as instrumentally incomplete without direct interaction with others. Social atom is distinct from physical atoms. Groups can be studied according to their common features as types of social atoms. One can also classify groups into different types according to their function in the social World, and according to some characteristics, such as their existence in time and space, the relationship between the members and between groups, or by abstract characteristics. And God did expound all things, even from the beginning until the time that he should come in his glory—yeah, that all people, and all kindreds, and all nations and all languages shall stand before God, to be judged of their works, whether they be good or whether they be evil—if they be good to the resurrection of everlasting life; and if they be evil, to the resurrection of damnation. May we all be found to be good. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 10 of 10
A Performance Expectation–Live a Great Story!
Fifteen minutes a day, for one year adds up to over ninety-one hours. Lord, it is good for us to be here. It is good for all of us to have been here. We pray that the same sweet spirit which has prevailed will continue with us, and that our record of prowess and skill are forever safe, as the group is task-oriented, patient, caring, thoughtful, and good at listening. In the interior of our consciousness, each of us has a private hall of fame reserved exclusively for the real leaders who have influenced the direction of our lives. This means that the members envision future events or states of the World that their present activities may help bring about or prevent, and they define some possible future events or states of the World as success and others as failure. We need not assume they know exactly what constitutes success, merely that they assume that when the time arrives they will know whether they have succeeded or not and that their present activities are related to the future outcome. The leader whom we admit into this private sanctuary of our reflective experience is usually those who set our hearts afire with devotion to the truth, who makes obedience to duty seem the essence of humanity, who transforms some ordinary routine occurrence so that it becomes extra ordinary and we see the person we aspire to be. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
The group task is at least partially intrasystemic. This means that the standards for evaluating success or failure are developed within the group rather than being imposed from the outside. An ambiguous task (for example, writing a story to accompany a picture) is one case of an intrasystemic task, but even tasks for which there are clear objective standards may be intrasystemic, if the group is able to redefine the meaning of a particular outcome or the importance of the task (“he has a bad day,” “we really care about that after all”). The crucial point is that the rules for evaluating a task outcome are developed by the same persons who are part of the power and prestige structure. Adam, the first man to live upon the Earth is worthy of being in our personal Hall of Fame. Adam was obedient unto the commandments of the Lord. Adam qualifies. We want to be right for God. It is important to be virtuous and there are terrifying consequences for the alternative. It helps if we have a big imagination and can see further than the present moment, which means we have to have a clear sense of the consequences of our actions, even when we think no one is watching. The Church always preaches about God is coming, and what if you are in sin at the exact moment he arrives? That is a horrifying thought. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
The group members are collectively oriented. This has two components: one, that the group members are interdependent, that is, they need to take into account other member’s acts; and two, that it is legitimate to seek and give advice, to be influenced by or attempt to influence others. The term collective orientation as used here does not precisely mean cooperative orientation (all goals shared so that something that rewards one group member rewards all). People could have a collective orientation in some cases of competition; in fact, there are competitive elements in face-to-face groups, especially the competition for time and attention imposed by the necessity to limit talking to one person at a time. Because of time constraints and the unknown time when God will return to Earth, many people do not want the moment of sin and the moment of reckoning to be the same. What if the Rapture comes and you are left behind? The Lord has commanded us to live by his convents, and he shall prepare a way for us that we may accomplish them. Negative reactions often lead to disagreements, but not always, for groups sometimes try to avoid having to resolve conflict and simply ignore or redefine the issue. Influence is defined as the direction of the resolution of a disagreement; the person whose idea is accepted is said to have influenced the one who accepts it. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
People with the greatest desire to succeed will stand a greater chance of reaching his or her goal. The term influence is not synonymous with control; a person whose performance output is accepted without challenge has obviously exercised control over the group, but since there was no disagreement, influence has not occurred. In determined people, we can see the difference between knowing and doing. Those who really desire to reach their goals will do whatever they must do in order to achieve them. Let us not just talk about what we want to be. Let us not just dream about what we want to be. Take action to reach your goals, you may have to work harder than you ever have worked before in your entire life. God wants us to tell him, with all honesty, that we have worked harder than anyone else we know. That we have tried as hard as we can to live right, do good, and succeed. This desire should be enough to help us to improve a little or greatly. God sees everything, so we cannot lie to him. He knows what we are doing at all times. In whatever we want to improve upon, whether if it is a project at work, school work, or studying the scriptures, just give it a little extra time—every day. Even if it is just an extra fifteen minutes. Remember how well-spent time can add up. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
A performance expectation is a prediction about the quality of a performance output of a group member. Do not quit. We are all going to have hardships and setbacks. However, our Heavenly Father will not give us a hardship that we cannot overcome. An individual may hold a performance output of a group member. An individual may hold a performance expectation for his or her own behavior (a self-expectation) and/or the behavior of another (other-expectation). The value of an expectation is defined as high (prediction that the performance output will move the group toward success on its goal) or low (prediction that the act will move the group toward failure on its goal). As children of our Father in Heaven, we can have setbacks of sin. However, we must never quit or give up faith. Heavenly Father has provided a way to overcome spiritual setbacks through the great gift of repentance. God truly loves us and wants to forgive us. All we have to do is to go through the process of repentance, and we will triumph over our transgressions. It is important for us to set our goals very high, for if we do this, our intermediate goals will be easier to reach. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
Let us not settle for mediocrity. We should always try our best. The concept of expectations is basic in sociology, and its use as a fundamental building block of theory marks expectation states as distinctively sociological. Let us decide now what type of person we want to be, and when a difficult situation comes along we will be prepared to pass the test. Performance expectations are predictions of quality only, rather than including predictions about for or content of behavior. We must keep a proper perspective on our goals. Let us never lose sight of God and his words of wisdom in pursuing our temporal ambitions. We have signs enough that there is a God. There are testimonies from men and women of the church, and also all the holy prophets. There are the scriptures laid before us, and all things denote there is a God, right? Even the Earth, and all the things that upon the face of it, right? And the motions, yeah, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator. People know in their hearts that there is a God and they will testify that God exists. Dear God in Heaven, please bring your Kingdom to Earth and help heal our unobservable mental and physical states, and bless our dreams and goals so that they may come true. Thank you. The National Anthem is a song sung to God, and it is thought that his presence is near when it is sang. Therefore, to sit or kneel in the presence of God, without being told by a figure of authority, shows extreme disrespect for the Lord. After all, this is God’s House. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
It is a Wonderful Life
It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and reality of tomorrow. In many ways, culture has enabled us to transcend many of the limitations imposed on us by our biology. However, that biology was shaped during millions of years of evolution in environments very different from those in which most of us live today. Whether we will become a different species or become extinct as a species (remember, that is the fate of almost every species that has ever lived on Earth) is not something that we can predict. However, as long as new pathogens appear or new environments are introduced by technology, there is little doubt that the human species will continue to evolve, just as almost every other species on Earth has done. Culture has enabled us to transcend many limits imposed by our biology, and people who never would have been able to do so in the past are today surviving and having children. This in itself means that we are evolving. How many of you would be reading this if you had been born under the health and economic conditions prevalent 500 years ago? #RandolphHarris 1 of 5
Imagine if is we lived in a future society driven by eugenics where potential children are conceived through genetic manipulation to ensure the best hereditary traits of their parents. And people conceived outside of the eugenics program struggles to overcome genetic discrimination. Everyone is monitored through a genetic registry database, which uses biometrics to classify people who were genetically engineered as valids, and those who were conceived by traditional means and more susceptible to genetic disorders as in-valids. Although genetic discrimination is illegal, it is practiced in genotype profiling used to identify and segregated valids, and intermingling with in-valids is basically illegal and because of that they are limited to the types of jobs they can perform. This is the plot from Gattaca, an American Science fiction film that came out in 1997. It was written and directed by Andrew Niccol and it stars Ethan Hawke, Uma Thurman, and Jude Law. The film was very interesting because it deals with some themes we could face in the future with skyrocketing health costs, population growth, and economics. #RandolphHarris 2 of 5
Perhaps, people will choose to have genetically engineered babies to guarantee their health and success? Are we building lives of honesty and integrity? Are we following the counsel of our prophets, past and present? Are we covenant keepers? Do we hold our family home evenings and study the scriptures, trying to live the precepts we gain from them? Do we obey the Word of Wisdom? Are we good neighbors and loyal friends? Can we honestly say that we not only repent of our mistake, but learn from them? If we are not comfortable with the answers to these kinds of questions, we need to begin right now to build a more exemplary life so that those dearest to us will see of our good works, and glorify our Father which is in Heaven. We must confess that whenever our lives have failed to measure up to the standards of our forebears, it is because we have allowed Worldly priorities to take precedence over our spiritual ones. However, it is possible to redirect our goals and to put our sights on eternal values. Groups develop shared beliefs about who occupies what place in the structure, and the maintenance of the structure of inequality can become one of the groups goals. #RandolphHarris 3 of 5
Other things being equal, an individual’s position in a power and prestige structure is a function of his or her performance in relation to valued behavior standards of the group; the more likely other group members think it is that the individual’s position in the power and prestige structure. In this sense, we should say that the religious value with reference to the outer World manifests itself through the belief in the creation, with reference to the fellow-World through the belief in the revelation, and with reference to the inner World through the belief in the salvation. In this sense—the immediate values of life are to be coordinated with the true, the beautiful, and the good. The World is penetrated by the belief in God. The intensity and vividness and depth of the religious consciousness must decide how far religion succeeds in reaching the pure value of a perfect harmony of our values. The certainty of truth, or the perfection of beauty, or the dignity of morality must be each in itself complete—no value has to wait for sanction by a belief in God. The power of truth cannot arise from the fact that it harmonizes with beauty or morality. However, the harmony of the World attains its ultimate completion. #RandolphHarris 4 of 5
Friendliness, warmth, pleasantness, likability, intelligence, activity, and maturity are attributes more relevant to describe rational human beings. Our lives are touched for good, and we are both edified and ennobled as we savor the sweet blessings of association with dear members of the family. We must have a great spirit of cooperation. Lord, God, we come to you for protection; rescue us and save us from all who pursue us. Truth and love are your nature, and when something happens that betrays truth and love, you resist. We stand with you for truth and justice, in love. We are confident you will support us. We pray that you will right all the wrongs that take place in the World and vindicate those that are being treated unjustly. Keep us Father, from trying to take matters into our own hands, for vengeance is yours and you will replay—but Lord in your grace and mercy, we pray that you would give justice and peace to all those that have been cruelly and unfairly treated by their fellow people and may the injustice and carelessness that they have had to endure be the means to draw them into your saving arms of grace—we ask this in the name of you, God. #RandolphHarris 5 of 5
Your Own Resolution to Succeed is Most Important
We want our words to echo for eternity, and be looked up to as people who always strive to be honest as often as possible with people. It is important for us to examine our lives, determine where we are and what we need to do to be the kind of person we want to be. We come to know ourselves and qualities assigned to the internal environment because of our responses. Self-perception is perfectly compatible with usually socially defined. This arises from the continual pressures to attain perceptual economy, maintain stable orientations to the invariant features of variegated experiences, and ensure predictability of events. If we have to attend to the peculiarities of all stimuli manifestations that we encounter, that task alone would overload our capacities and leave us no time to process the inputs and coordinate responses to them. Furthermore, we would be stuck with a meaningless flux of unique and nonrecurrent events that would make anticipation impossible. Lately, I have reflected on many of the wonderful experiences I have had in my life. As I have expressed gratitude to my Heavenly Father for these marvelous blessings and opportunities, I have realized perhaps more than ever before, how critical the formative years of my life were. Many of the most important and life-changing moments of my life occurred when I was a young man. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
The lessons I learned over the past few years have formed my character and shaped my destiny. Without them, I would be a very different man and in a very different place than I am today. I know many great men and women. Although they have different backgrounds, talents, and perspectives, they all work diligently and persistently towards achieving their goals. It is easy to get distracted and lose focus on the aspects that are most important in life. It is important to prioritize values that are important to us so that we can keep our eyes focused on the aspects of life that really matter. Create inspiring, noble, and righteous goals that inspire your imagination and create passion in your heart and excitement in your soul. And then keep you mind constantly focused on your goals, working towards them consistently so that you can achieve your dreams. The imposition of constancy demands a rather sophisticated implementation of an interpretive system of relation judgments regarding distance, location, movement and so on. It is this categorization of stimuli into the objects with dispositional qualities and knowledge of the lawful relationships among the properties that enables us to progress to prediction. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
The Light of God helps us to discern right from wrong. When we allow temptations to drown out the still voice of our conscience—that is when decisions become difficult. Awareness of what things are is apprehension of how they fit into an orderly sequencing of events: the characteristics of objects are defined by the causal system connecting them. The advantage for prediction of events is obvious: active adjustment and manipulative intervention are facilitated. If we advance confidently in the directions of our dreams, and endeavors to live the life which we have imagined, we will meet with success. When it comes to temptation, say “No!” instantly and emphatically. Avoid temptations. Persons who occupy special status as sources of origins of activity attend to its apparent goal-direction. Activity sources in the inanimate World, such as volcanoes, may explode erratically, but the consequences of the eruption (for example, the lava flow) are grossly predictable and therefore avoidable. However, if a person explodes with anger over something we have done, avoidance of the ensuing harmful consequences is not such a simple predictive matter. An angry person many succeed in harming us in a number of alternative ways, any of which can be adjusted to take account of the avoidance activity we might take. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
Personal causality possesses equifinality. Equifinality means that there are many paths to the same end—there are multiple ways to reach a final goal. The means are varied, but the eventual goal is invariant. The dispositional imputations that permit us to predict this goal is invariant. The dispositional imputations that permit us to predict this goal and take adjustive action to adapt to contingently variable means depend upon our identification of the purpose and intents of the actor. Thus, the dispositional qualities that lend stability, coherence, and predictability to the interpersonal environment involve judgments of aims, wishes, desires, emotions, motives, and other qualities not imputed to the impersonal environment. We glean how the individual attributes dispositional characteristics to others. Symbolic interactions view the person as perceiver of one’s World. Role-taking provides a much clearer understanding of the impact of others’ presence (real, imagined, or anticipated) on an individual. Role-taking refers to a central process by which actors take into account the others’ responses to them. The actor needs to take into account, not only the dispositional qualities of the other, but the dispositions the other attributes to the actor. For this reason, an actor’s perception of the other takes on a reactive quality. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
We all possess spiritual gifts. Some are blessed with the gift of faith, others the gift of healing. The importance of others’ dispositional attributions becomes obvious if we think about the total reinforcement we in experience in our everyday lives. Much of it flows directly from other persons (acceptance, affection, approval, and so forth) and most of the remainder is mediated by them. During the developmental years this dependency is even more intense. It is during that period that, through the process of role-taking, the self emerges, and the person learns to control and evaluate his or her behaviors. In the same way, the person learns the processes that are effective in self-monitoring and self-evaluation. The importance of others’ dispositional attributions becomes obvious if we think about the total reinforcement we experience in our everyday lives. Much of it flows directly from other persons (acceptance, affection, approval, and so forth) and most of the remainder is mediated by them. It is during that period that, through the process of role-taking, the self emerges, and the person learns to control and evaluate his or her behaviors. In the same way, the person learns the processes that are effective in self-monitoring and self-evaluation. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
How do we know if we are wise or foolish? When we hear inspired counsel, we obey. That is the test of the wise or foolish. From our perspective the paramount thing learned through the process of role-taking is how the self will be responded to by others. As we have seen, others’ reactions are a function of the dispositional inferences they make about persons and their actions. Thus, it is evident that in order to anticipate, much less control and manipulate, these responses, the individual must come to view his or her own activity from others’ (dispositional) perspectives. Since the ultimate referents of these perspectives are internal qualities, it follows that individuals learn about their internal environment by the same reflexive process. In short, they learn to see themselves in the same dispositional terms and to view their activities and actions as expressing these attributes. The adoption of this perspective transforms mere behavior into conduct. Therefore, they separated themselves one from another, and went forth among them, every person alone, according to the word and power of God, which was given unto one. We give thanks to our Creator, God, for this wonderful life where each of us has the opportunity to learn lessons we could not fully comprehend by any other means. Lord, please let us meet our dreams, bring us success, justice and peace. Let us see your greatness in amazing ways. You are an amazing God. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
May Happiness Fill Your Heart Each Day
Nothing can bring more joy to life than beautifully fulfilling relationships. Once persons actually begin to interact, whether their relationship continues to develop will depend not only on the anticipated outcomes of further interaction, but on the actual outcomes that partners begin to experience as they interact. These outcomes in turn depend on the development of stable patterns of exchange, which can be conceptualized in terms of a structure of interdependence. This interdependence can be analyzed at three levels. At the first or behavioral level, structure consists of the stable patterns, routines, or combinations of behaviors that make up the day-to-day activities of the pair. The second or normative level of structure consists of the norms and shared understanding that constitute the somewhat unique role structure of the relationship. The third or personal level consists of each partner’s personality characteristics, general attitudes, and elements of self relevant to, or embedded in, the relationship. As the relationship grows and the facets of each partner’s individuality that are created in that process of growth develop, the depth of meaning, understanding and appreciation that relationships bring is almost unfathomable. #RandolphHarris 1 of 8
Communication is so important because it is the vehicle that allows us to verbalize what is inside us and enables it to connect with another person. One person is feeling one thing and through communication, another person can find that out and feel it too. Persons do not respond only in terms of their own outcomes, but in terms of the overall pattern of outcomes, which includes those of their partners as well. This tendency is particularly strong in relationships based on attraction. Not only are the manner in which interdependence is resolved influence the exchange of outcomes between partners, the rewards and punishments, self-imposed or received from others, are affected by norms that prescribe how persons should respond in situations involving interdependence. People seem to consider emotional interdependence as a healthy feature of romantic relationships, emphasizing the necessity of being on the same wavelength. It helps partners to coordinate their behaviors and thoughts, making them able to collectively respond to situations that demand action. Additionally, it increases mutual understanding and feeling validated by the partner, promoting social cohesion, attraction, and sympathy. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8
Turning emotions to one another is supposed to be related to relational well-being, and more specifically to relationship satisfaction and empathic concern. Vicariously experienced outcomes also influence the ways in which persons respond to interdependency, because as a relationship develops the affective reactions of partners become increasingly salient. Partners help to maintain each other’s emotional stability, which is known to be critical for psychological well-being. It is important to focus on and honor the strengths you gain from your relationships. There are often buried treasures waiting to be acknowledged. Healthy relationships increase your sense of belonging and purpose, boosts happiness and reduce stress, and improves self-confidence and self-worth. A good partner also encourages healthy lifestyle habits, such as eating properly and getting exercise. Also, formal check-ins could strengthen the bond between partners. Weekly meetings—one to talk about household responsibilities and another dedicated to more intimate issues—may help both partners feel more validated, respected, and comfortable. #RandolphHarris 3 of 8
People resolve the conflict between their own interests and that of their partner in a characteristic manner. Thus, some persons may be basically competitive, tending where possible to maximize their own gains in relation to their partners’. Others may tend toward a cooperative resolution and choose to behave in a fashion calculated to maximize joint outcomes of the partners, and still others, altruistic, and choose to coordinate their actions with those of their partners so as to maximize the outcomes. Curiosity is a vital part of any important relationship. The more you can cultivate your curiosity about other people in your life, the more you will move toward them. Curiosity will also lead you to feel more secure with the people you are close to because you will have a pretty good sense of what they are likely to think, feel, say, or do. Each relationship develops, interpersonal dispositions emerge that are distinctive to that particular relationship. These arise in part from intraindividual processes of attribution, as each reacts to the manner in which the other chooses to behave in recurring situations of interdependence, and in part from interpersonal processes of identity negotiation. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8
You have probably been appreciative of the people in your life who have been curious about who you are. That is because it feels good to have someone ask you how you are doing, and know that he or she is asking a real question; that the person is curious enough and cares enough about you to want a real answer. It is a way to give of oneself and show another a deep sense of love and caring. Persons tend to infer from particular acts the existence of underlying causes or dispositions within the individual to behave in certain ways. Thus, when a person chooses to engage in an activity that is not particularly rewarding to one, but is rewarding to one’s partner, the latter is likely to infer that the person is a considerate person who generally tends to respond to the needs of others. Uplifting traditions play a significant role in leading us toward the things of the Spirit. Those that promote love for God and unity in families and among people are especially important. We are inspired by the wisdom of each person who has molded a career which properly supports one’s premier responsibility to spiritually lead one’s family when wealthy and power are more highly valued by the World. #RandolphHarris 5 of 8
On the other hand, persons perceived as acting exclusively in terms of their own outcomes are labeled inconsiderate or selfish. This tendency is attributed to an underlying disposition to the partner was particularly marked where the acts of one person had negative consequences for the perceiver. As the supernal nature of our life begins to be understood and experienced, we desire nothing temporal to impede our celestial journey. Becoming more aware of oneself in relationships could help one overcome one’s challenges with intimacy. Developing your awareness about yourself in how you connect to your friends, family, children, parents, siblings, coworkers, and others is an important part of learning from one’s success. As one becomes increasingly aware of who one is in various relationships, one may see some very consistent patterns or one may notice that one has more varied relational styles depending on the person one is thinking about. Some people may be very gentle and clam in relationships with people who need one’s support. However, when such an individual is with people who are less vulnerable, he or she may lack self-confidence and it may cause an individual to become capricious. #RandolphHarris 6 of 8
Conflict and negotiation in a relationship can occur at any level and generally tend to spread from one to the other as persons attempt to work out solutions to their problems of interdependence. In general, the spread is upward. Persons finding themselves at odds at the behavioral level may attempt to resolve this appeals to norms and role expectations. If they agree that following a particular rule or role prescription is appropriate in the situation, the conflict may be resolved at that level and no further negotiation becomes necessary. If there is still lack of agreement, the conflict spread to the personal or identity level where each attempt to modify the attitudes and other dispositional characteristics of the other person in a manner that will resolve the problems of interdependence at the lower levels. Thus, the husband who tends toward dominance in relations with others, including his wife, may as a result of processes of identity negotiation begin to change at the dispositional level, allowing him to feel more comfortable in a more equalitarian portrayal of the husband roles, which is reflected at the behavioral level by his assuming more of the routine household tasks. #RandolphHarris 7 of 8
It is important that we make ourselves worthy of the loveliest person in all the World. We must keep ourselves worthy through all of the days of our lives. That obligation begins with absolute loyalty. Although it is reasonable to expect conflict and negotiation to spread upward from one level of interdependence to the next, both from what is known about attribution processes and the tactics of altercasting and from the fact that solutions at higher levels often provide the basis for solving problems of interdependence at lower levels, this tendency may have deleterisity of conflict is likely to increase because modification at high levels involves rewards and costs tied to central elements of identity and because the tactics employed at these levels often involve attacks on these elements. Just as identity creation is basic to the growth of a relationship, identity destruction generally accompanies its decline. There must be absolute loyalty, undeviating loyalty one to another. May flowers always line your path and Sunshine light your day. May songbirds serenade you every step along the way. May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that is always blue. And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through. #RandolphHarris 8 of 8
Peter My Mink is Dragging on the Floor
A stunning first impression is not the same thing as love at first sight, but surely it is an invitation to consider the matter. We are drawn to people, inspired by them, and even strengthened by their examples. If first impressions are sufficiently favorable, persons will be motivated, when they begin to interact, to provide behaviors that will result in favorable outcomes to the other, and to the degree each is successful in this respect, they become progressively motivated to provide rewards that will maintain the relationship. Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. One of the most important rewards that persons exchange as a relationship develops is support for each other’s view of themselves as persons, their self-concepts. How do you and I become so converted to the truth, so full of faith, so dependent on God that we are able to meet trials and even be strengthened by them? A fundamental purpose of Earth is personal growth and attainment. We will have challenges, even difficulties, where decisions of great importance must be made so that we can grow, develop, and succeed in this mortal test. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7
Gratefully, God’s love is perfect. God has moved so deeply in the hearts of so many. Some people regard unconditional love is something that is real, and the most real things there is. The most consistent finding in the empirical literature on attraction is that persons are attracted to others whom they perceive as accepting them as they see themselves and who allow them to behave in a self-validating manner. Thus, in the early phases of interaction, each person begins tentatively to reveal one’s self to the other. The process of self-disclosure involves first, information about the self that each feels relatively confident about and relatively certain that the other will find acceptable. We may disclose information about our intellectual aptitude, or athletic abilities to see how we relate to others. This type of comparison helps us decide whether we are superior or inferior to others. Disclosures about abilities or talents can also make us more relatable to others. For instance, 80 percent of people find faithfulness as a top attribute they find attractive about a person. A sense of humor is important and it makes people seem more intelligent. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7
For long relationships, individuals tend to prefer others who are altruistic, kind, and do good deeds. Being involved in a charity is seen as a really attractive trait. Other studies have shown the people with dogs are generally more attractive also because they have a capacity to love and care for another being over a long term. We want to make ourselves open to others, through self-disclosure, but we also want to maintain a sense of privacy. If someone knows too much about you upfront, it might impede them from going further in the relationship because they see it as too much of a risk or hassle. Later in the process of self-disclosure, persons revel more intimate details about which they are less confident, hence in greater need of social validation, and which they are less certain will be regarded favorably. Revelations at this level play an important part in the process of self-creation. As a relationship develops, each person feels sufficiently secure to try out or tentatively display new elements of identity. Such displays may take the form of revealing hitherto private hopes and fears about the self, or more indirectly, of recounting to the other past or current episodes of behavior where the person behaved in a fashion viewed as confirming some nascent element of self. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7
Studies of the self-disclosure process generally find that, in the early part of a relationship at least, each person tends to pace the process of disclosure by revealing to the other information about the same level of intimacy. As in any other exchange, persons feel obligated to adhere to the norm of reciprocity. To the extent that one person’s revelations at progressively more intimate levels are increasingly rewarding in terms of signifying regard and trust to the other partner, the latter feels obligated to return revelations thought to be of equal rewarding value. However, disclosures that are too intimate often highlight character, personality, or other kinds of sensitivity information, thus decreasing congeniality. People who make intimate disclosures too early in relationships are often perceived as insecure, which further decreases someone’s interest in them. One time I was walking by a fancy Italian restaurant, and two guys in their forties were on what seemed to me as their first date, and one of them was telling the other guy about how painful his recovery from cancer was. The guy he was with replied, “Oh, gees,” and picked up a bread stick and ate it. He seemed rather pensive and I got the impression that it would probably be their last date. The process of self-disclosure contributes to another basic interpersonal process, the growth of trust, which in turn further facilitates more intimate disclosure. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7
While there is not complete agreement on a definition of trust, a key element appears to be a sense of certainty that the trusted person will not behave at some point in the future in a way that endangers anticipated favorable outcomes of the trusting person. When first dating, you want to make an individual feel good and talk about things that make them happy. It is like you are selling yourself in a sense. People have options and they do not want to get attached to someone who might drain them of their emotional or financial resources. Each person’s revelations of progressively more intimate details concerning one’s self, and their acceptance and confirmation by the other, give assurance that any resultant vulnerability will not be exploited, either because both partners are equally vulnerable or because each perceives the exchange of progressively more intimate details as a sign of increasingly close interpersonal ties. Generally, as the details get more intimate, that means that the emotional bond in the relationship is probably increasing. So, when the relationship seems to be getting more serious, that is a good time to tell a person sensitive information about yourself that might affect them wanting to have a long-term commitment with you, and that is only fair. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7
More than likely if a person cares enough and can deal with it, then they will likely continue in the relationship because they are already emotionally and somewhat financially invested. For instance, some people have commitment issues and cannot figure out whether they want to move to another part of the country or go back to school, or even just a plan to get a cup of coffee with a friend. One might be reluctant to disclose that he or she has problems making choices, from something as small as choosing what movie to see, to something more significant like signing a lease for house. The fact that persons perceive the intimacy of disclosure as indicative of attraction allows the self-disclosure process to function as a pacing device in the development of a relationship. By the depth of disclosure to another, a person may indicate one’s degree of emotional involvement in the relationship. While our emphasis so far has been on the manner in which self-disclosure allows for maintenance and creation of self-elements, an extremely important reward, self-disclosure provides each partner with information concerning other outcomes as well. Persons learn what kinds of behaviors have reward value to each other and which behaviors are costly. This information, in turn, can be used as a guide in arriving at mutually satisfying patterns of exchange that become a part of the structure of interdependence that constitutes the relationship. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7
As you get to now a person who seemed to be commitment issues, you might begin to understand that person has a lot going for one’s self, and just needed to meet someone who is trustworthy. That individual might be optimistic, loving, and a sincere individual who wants to settle down. People are capable of changing, but not until they are ready to understand how things are controlling their lives. It requires both willingness and openness to new insights and new activities before one is able to take the first step in successfully challenging relationship issues. God has given us the capacity to exercise faith, that we may find peace, joy, and purpose in life. However, to employ its power, faith must be founded on something. There is no more solid foundation than faith in the love Heavenly Father has planned. Lord, make us an instrument of your peace. Grant that we may not so much seek to be loved as to love. God, who from among all your angels, chose the Archangel Gabriel to announce the mystery of the Incarnation, mercifully grant that we who solemnly remember him on Earth may feel the benefit of his patronage in Heaven, who lives and reigns for ever and ever. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7
Love if the Greatest thing in the World
Love is the greatest thing in the World. Friends and romantic partners tend to have certain characteristics in common, such as age, education, and even intelligence. Similarity related to attraction has a long history of empirical support. As covenant-keeping men and women, we need to lift each other and help each other become the people the Lord would have us become. Generally, persons are attracted to others who are similar in social background characteristics and value. The idea that romantic partners or friends would be similar seems pretty intuitive. Studies of friendship suggests that people also have a preference for leisure activities with others who are similar to them. The degree of similarity with respect to opinions, personality traits, and social background characteristics of stimulus persons has for the most part supported the similarity-attraction relationship. Agreement with another leads the person to anticipate rewarding interaction, and where it actually facilitates joint pleasurable activities, it also can be expected to lead to attraction. Agreement in activity preferences, attitudes, and values not only ensures that persons will hit upon mutually satisfying activities, but that they will be able to carry them out with a minimum of friction. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
Next to inspiring talks, music, TV shows, food, and prayers that always touch our hearts, persons are attracted to others who agree with their opinions, but dislike others whose views are divergent. Agreement is rewarding and disagreement punishing, either because liking an agreeing other and disliking one who disagrees provides a balanced cognitive state—one that is psychologically pleasant and comfortable. Or because agreement satisfies a person’s affectance needs, the need to feel secure in dealing with the World. Another general explanation is the persons tend to anticipate that individuals who are similar to them will like them. Homogamy or similarity in social background characteristics and accompanying similarity in interests, attitudes, and values in marital partners is in part the result of structural aspects of society that favor higher rates of interactions among persons similar in these respects, leading to increased chances of their forming a relationship regardless of these similarities. It is important to help create an environment where the Spirit of the Lord can abide. We need to work together to lift each other up and the rising generation and help them reach their divine potential as heirs of eternal life. We should be able to rejoice with each other as we try to become our very best selves. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
There is so much more of happiness to be had when we can rejoice in another’s success and not just in our own. Similarity appears to have stronger effects in the early stages of a relationship because of the kinds of rewards and costs persons experience at later periods in their relationship. Similarity is a filtering device, as it influences each person’s anticipation of future rewards in general, and in particular the reward of being liked. One of the strongest associations on attraction is the correlation between liking and the perception of being liked in turn. People are insecure concerning their acceptance by others, similarity appears to be more powerful factor in influencing their choice of associates than when they feel more secure. We want to feel like we are a precious gift, and would like to express our love for our companions. Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity. Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity. Like all gifts which come from above, words are sacred, and must be spoken with care, and by constraint of the Spirit. Attitudes seem less important at later points in a relationship when there are other bases for reciprocity of liking. In the long run, the need for a relationship with someone we love is so strong that it overcomes differences. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
Physical attractiveness has been shown to have effects similar to central traits or master statuses when it comes to dating. Physical attractiveness accounts for a large part of the variance in dating partners’ responses to each other, including the desire to continue the relationship. Physically attractive people are liked. Attraction may result from the rewards of esthetic satisfaction. Persons may receive rewards from others as a result of their forming a relationship with an attractive other, either because this conforms with a cultural norm that persons toward whom one is attracted is supposed to be physically attractive or because one’s ability to form a relationship with an attractive or because one’s ability to form a relationship with an attractive other attests to one’s own desirability in the eyes of others. Studies have shown that for males at least, that a male romantically involved with an attractive female enhances his status. Both males and females attributed personality traits of higher social desirability to pictures of attractive persons than to pictures of those of average attractiveness or those judged relatively unattractive. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
Respondents also predicted that more attractive people would have more favorable life experiences, including higher occupational status, more successful marriages, and in general greater happiness. Attractive people are more likely to win election, attractive university professors get higher evaluations, and attractive people are usually treated more leniently in the legal system. Physically attractive people are also seen as intimately warmer and more responsive, illustrating the effects of selective perception and perceptual accentuation. Research has also suggested that the effects of the cultural stereotype of the physically attractive are often to bring about behavior on the part of the perceiver that, in the manner of a self-fulfilling prophecy, elicits behavior on the part of the perceived person that further enhances the attractiveness of that person. When people are told that someone is attractive, they are more likely to believe it. Research also shows that small babies prefer to look at attractive faces than less attractive face. Further, children tend to prefer attractive child. And adults think that attractive children are more intelligent and successful. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
These findings show that people often attach beneficial qualities to attractive people. This is sometimes called the physical attractiveness stereotype—the tendency for people to assume that attractive people possess other socially desirable traits in addition to their looks. To some extent, this is true. Some research shows that physically attractive people are more popular and out outgoing. However, these small differences may be due, in part, to self-fulfilling prophecies: because being physically attractive is socially desirable, attractive people may become more confident and outgoing and so may be more confident and outgoing and so may be more popular with others. Also, it is important to note that physical attractiveness has its drawback. In particular, more attractive people are often the subject of unwanted advances and resentment from less attractive individuals. Nevertheless, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. God, strengthen us in the power of your might. Guide us against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the Heavenly places. Protect our soul and grant us discernment to recognize your truth. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
First Impressions
There is nothing better than to love one another, as love is the elixir that makes the World go around. Initial attraction and the likelihood that a relationship will be formed will depend upon both individuals’ estimates concerning the value of the outcomes to be expected from the relationship, and concern the probabilities that such outcomes will be realized. Family background, values, physical attractiveness, and communication styles are just some of the factors that influence the selection of romantic relationships. These estimates, in turn, will be influenced by a number of tendencies characteristic of person perception and self-presentation, by elements in the situation that influence both, and by a number of interactional processes. People tend, where possible, to notice and distort the characteristics of others in the direction of their current motivational states. Research on perception and attention shows that we see more of what we look for; so if you are looking for signs of kindness, that is more likely to stand out to you. How one thinks about and interprets one’s partner’s actions, intentions, and words also affects how we feel and understand a situation with them, which in turn affects how we behave towards them. #RandolphHarris 1 of 5
Various pieces of information that a person receives about another do not enter equally into determining the total impression of that person. Instead, some kinds of information exert strong effects on how other information is interpreted. Placement of persons in certain social categories or statuses powerfully constrains the characteristics attributed to them by others. Early information and impression have greater effects on the perception of others than does later information. Thus, first impressions have considerable impact and, where favorable, provide a certain momentum to the development of a relationship. People respond more enthusiastically to an individual who comes across as trustworthy rather than confident. We are judging how warm and trustworthy the person is, and what their intentions towards us are. We are also looking to figure out how strong and competent this person is. Not only do persons in interaction attempt to control the kinds of information available to others, but they, as well as others in the situation, may influence the attributions that are finally arrived at. #RandolphHarris 2 of 5
Everyone understand that you do not get a second chance to make that first impression count! And that first impression sticks with your love target—it is the basis for their psychological assessment of you are a potential romantic partner. Attributions, particularly unfavorable ones, frequently are challenged by the target person, and people initially attracted to another are motivated to impress the other with his or her rewarding qualities. If people are so motivated, they tend to adopt a number of self-presentation strategies or tactics of ingratiation that include, in addition to flattery, conformity in opinion, judgement, and behavior to that of the other and attributing attractive characteristics to themselves directly or indirectly. Two basic processes underlie such tactics: self-presentation and altercasting, and both of these are involved in the more general process of identity bargaining. People take notice of general levels of social sophistication and their mannerisms. Identity bargaining means in the first encounters, people attempt to present themselves as a certain kind of person and at the same time attempt to cast the other person into an identity that will fit these preferred lines of action. #RandolphHarris 3 of 5
These identities presented and cast, in first encounters at least, tend to be favorable because beneficially valued identities are most acceptable and facilitative at this stage. In addition, norms of politeness and consideration that influence behavior of newly acquainted persons favor this course. People may be involved daily in round of segmental interaction without developing a personal relationship until something untoward occurs to jolt them out of their role-constrained behavior. When people are confronted with routine role behavior, they tend not to attribute underlying dispositions to others or to form impressions of what others are really like, nor does routine role behavior allow for or require the kind of interactional leeway that permits the joint creation of a personal relationship composed of two distinct identities. Relationship initiation is always to some degree a compromise made against a background of competing alternatives of varying desirability. On our first date, we met for a Mediterranean-inspired brunch, at Café Medina, which is the best date idea for someone you already kind of know. We have the best Belgian waffles, they were golden and crispy on the exterior and fully and soft on the inside. #RandolphHarris 4 of 5
I was not sure if we were in a date until he offered to pay for the meal. I agreed only if I could buy us ice creams for dessert. Our brunch date turned into a day-long excursion around Vancouver, just talking and enjoying each other’s company. I was pretty enamored. The trip to Van Dusen Botanical Garden was so beautiful. Once we passed through the entrance, we were transported into a serene oasis with cool, polished marble, intricate stone pavilions, and pathways shaded by chinar, and cypress trees and flowers. It was a perfect spot for a romantic picnic. There were also vineyards, semi-desert gardens with cacti, and a water lily pond sprinkled with lotus flowers. Mountain peaks surrounded the entire site. I really enjoyed the high brick walls, which enclosed the terraced gardens, inked by a series of fountains and pools. Dear God, loving essence of all there is. Please fill us with your sacred presence. Love and Guide us to the blessings that life has to offer. Our heart is pure; our intentions are clear. Bring us love, joy, peace and prosperity to our lives. May we be embraced in a circle of love, uplifted by your grace. #RandolphHarris 5 of 5
This is the Best Season for Falling in Love
While we strive for the virtue of tolerance, other commendable qualities need not be lost. Suppose you see someone you like in the supermarket, you might start off an encounter by asking them is $26 is too much to pay for eggs. The increasing emphasis on process and on a development approach to attraction has psychological and sociological approaches. Love is special because it is innocent and pure. People in a loving relationship will forever remember the hugs, cuddles, holding hands, sweet whispers, long drives, late night conversations and the romantic walks through the park. The sheer excitement of feeling love will engrave all the sweet moments in your mind forever, as you experience extreme range of emotional highs and lows that make love an epic experience. The growth of a relationship takes places in three stages: an early stage in which initial attraction is based on the stimulus characteristics of the persons, their physical characteristics, and so forth; a second stage where values consensus is explored and confirmed; and a final stage where the details of their roles within the relationship are worked out to the mutual advantage of the partners. Fortunately, for many people, they do not have issues like dear Samantha from Bewitched. You see, beautiful Samantha falls in love with the handsome New York advertising executive Darrin Stephens, and she feel like the luckiest woman in the World. Shortly after, they marry. However, Darrin later on finds out that Samantha is one of a secret society of powerful witches and warlocks and that she has magical powers. A few years go by, and Samantha and Darrin have words over if he would have married her or not knowing that she is a witch, and so they go back in the past, to begin with a precontact or preawareness stage in order to allow consideration of the factors to see if they would influence the relationship.
Things get complicated when Samantha tells Darrin she is a witch before the engagement. The awareness allows for an influence on his first impression of Samantha and the perceptual process and self-presentation disturbs Darrin when she uses her witchcraft manifest two different dinners in a fraction of a second. Although Darrin still asks Samantha to marry him, his boss Larry Tate also finds out that she is a witch and this leads to a role negotiation in the defining and evaluation of the relationship. Larry Tate wants to use Samantha to make their advertising firm the most successful in the World. So, Samantha feels like Darrin is just using her for her powers and to get a promotion to Vice President, and the discussion allowed for consideration of process to the maintenance of the relationship or its eventual dissolution. As a result, Darrin and Samantha almost do not get married. However, Darrin’s boss Larry Tate admits that he is the one who came up with the idea to use Samantha for her powers, and Darrin and Sam still get married, then they go back to the future and are happy that their love is true. No matter if she told him she was a witch or not, Darrin would have married her. Any explanation of the formation and growth of a relationship must start at some point prior to the time when the two individuals meet. Starting at a level of no contact and no awareness, there are various factors that two persons in a given populations will move at least to the stage of unilateral awareness. The crucial variables here are of two kinds. First, there is a variety of institutional structures and processes that determine the physical and temporal location of person. Social variables, such as social class, that affect residential, occupational, and leisure-time locations, along with the ecological process of differentiation and segregation that create distinctive location for types of persons and activities, influence the likelihood that persons will encounter each other.
These social and individual variables are implicated also in the development of social networks, another source of influence on the likelihood of contact between persons. When a person is linked to a particular network or web of acquaintances, one is more likely to know about and be introduced to others in that network. These variables and processes account in part for the general tendency toward homogamy in relationships because their effect generally is to increase the likelihood, frequency, and duration of contact between persons similar in social and, to some extent, personal characteristics. Structural and ecological influences are also related to attraction through their effects on propinquity. Mate selection deals with residential proximity of future spouses. Distance, as well as architectural features influence traffic patterns within and between buildings, affected acquaintanceship, and their can also be attraction among housemates. The beautiful Victorian house painted in whimsical colors, with its charming turrets, attic dormers creating cozy spaces on the third floor. The wide front porch, with pretty roses growing on a beautiful white trellis looked so stunning. And, beyond being a lovely place to linger, beautiful lush blooms in the rose garden create stunning scenery and waves of wonderful fragrance. Butterflies are numerous, birds and bees zip around the flowers. This happiness gets engrained in your mind forever. The blissful feeling of love can never be replicated because it is natural. There is a sense that your love will last forever, and you plan all of your hopes and dreams with your relationship. The beautiful memories of this once in a lifetime experience will linger in your heart and mind forever. Proximity is related in a variety of ways to attraction. Physical intimacy, like simply holding hands makes for a sweet, romantic moment. Love is pure attraction, led by mind and heart. In addition to the indirect effect of propinquity on attraction through similarity, physical closeness facilitates a number of processes that contribute to attraction. When interacting with those nearby, persons are likely to hit upon outcomes sufficiently satisfactory to discourage interaction with those at greater distance. The interactions with those physically close is much more apt to produce initially favorable outcomes for a number of reason. First, the physical and psychological costs are likely to be less in interaction. Whereas the low physical cost is obvious. Psychologically, normative expectations are such as to make interaction between persons spatially contiguous psychologically less costly than with those only slightly more distant. Also, if you are going out of your way to make contact with someone who you are attracted with, they will notice and wonder why you are contacting them when there is obviously someone closer you could have contacted instead. As you gradually learn to be more fully conscious in many aspects of your life—your breathing, your thoughts, your body—you will become increasingly good at noticing what is going on when you are engaged in interactions with others.
You will be able to observe yourself, noticing what kind of messages your mind may be giving you, or noticing how the other person responds to what you are doing or saying. By increasing your overall level of awareness through mindfulness practice, you will begin to feel much more capable of thinking and acting in new ways in difficult areas of your life, especially in your intimate relationships. Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially, possibly as friends or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a prospective partner in a more committed intimate relationship or marriage. Romantic relationships are important for our happiness and well-being. When building a relationship, it is important to be honest and take things slow. Tell a person you want to get to know them and wonder if they would like to join you for brunch. This way, one is establishing a foundation of appreciation and respect. Occasionally set aside time to check in with each other on changing expectations and goals. Makes sure that a person is interested in being more than friends with you before you make an intimate gesture. The goal in any relationship is to feel safe, supported, and respected. The degree that proximity encourages frequent observation and interaction, persons are able to predict each other’s behavior and avoid the cost of uncertainty and response conflict, reactions which are apt to occur in unfamiliar situations. And, frequent interactions not only increase the chances of discovering similarities as well as other rewarding characteristics of another person, but allows for the operation of social influences processes that may produce similarity. In addition, a variety of processes emerge in early interaction, that provides a certain momentum favoring a relationship already initiated over later alternatives. However, do not assume you are irresistible. You may not be someone’s type, they may already be in a relationship, or you may have to be charming and charismatic to get their affection. Nevertheless, our highest priorities in life are to love God and to love our family, community, nation and World. May our hearts be filled with sweet forgiving; may we learn tolerance and love and respect.
Sorry does Not Restore my Hindsight
At the beginning was the word, one who wants to make progress, even if by the smallest steps, must first liberate one’s self from the word, from the superstition of names, and from the tyranny of language. In addition, one of the important things learned in the acquisition of institutional roles is how to maintain self-esteem even under adverse organizational circumstances. Proper attitude in this crisis dominated World is a priceless possession. Never before has it been more important for all of us to move forward with pride. We may be behind, but we are not losing if we are moving in the right direction. God will not score our performances until the end of the journey. He who has made us expects us to be victorious. God stands by anxious to answer or calls for help and for us to praise and thank him. We must lead with good cheer, optimism, and courage if we are manifest the Kingdom of God. We should thank the Lord, our God, in all things with thankfulness and shall be made glorious. Thank God in all personal challenges. With God’s help, we can accomplish all things and be winners indeed in the processes of eternity. #RandolphHarris 1 of 8
No one really knows a language, not even one’s native language; indeed, there is no such thing as a language. In science, it is clear that only the knowledge of the history of an idea can impart a clear conception of the true nature of that ides. Since every word has its own history, for a thorough knowledge of a language one would need to be familiar with its whole history. This is completely unknown to most people. Even the philologist’s knowledge about it is quite superficial. It is a colossal delusion to believe that language is a property of humankind and that it is something inherently rich. If language were such a thing—sort of like a tool—then with use it would deteriorate and wear out. However, language is not an object, not a property, not a tool—but a usage. Language is simply language-use. This is not a play on words, but a fact. Angelical was supposed to have been the language God used to create the World, and then used by Adam to speak with God and Angels and to name all things in existence. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8
Language is a truly remarkable phenomenon—arbitrary and yet systematic, obviously learned but apparently on the basis of specific innate capacities, understood by small children, but infinite in its possible variations. After his fall from Paradise, Adam lost the language of Angelical, and constructed a form of proto-Hebrew based upon his vague memory of Angelical. This explains why the more language is used, the richer and stronger it grows. If we want to start seeing the power of God manifest in our lives, we will have to start paying attention to what we say. Words have power—more than any of us may realize, but we often speak of them as though they were meaningless. Because of that, mist believers at one time or another have been hurt by something a careless whisper. Every time an individual says something that they do not really means, it begins to numb the heart. Therefore, keep it down, voices carry. Human beings attain social goals through talk. That this gets done (with errors and violations of a magnitude sufficient ordinarily only to reveal the underlying patterns) is itself remarkable. What is even more remarkable is the substantial similarity in how it gets done in what at first appear to be very different cultures and very different modes of talk. #RandolphHarris 3 of 8
Language is so complex that children could not learn them if there were not genetically fitted to do so. Infants have some sort of innate capacity (sometimes called the LAD or Language Acquisition Device) which permits them to construct theories of their language on the basis of the speech data in the World around them. Children’s speech capabilities are both well developed and individually differentiated at fairly young ages (five years is frequently seen as a threshold); some investigators have therefore concluded that the LAD begins to atrophy at the point at which the fundamentals of language are mastered. Other investigators assert that language learning is a life-long process, and that adaption and modification of language is continuous. Children’s rapid acquisition of a wide range of grammatical (phonological, syntactic) skills is well documented. The parallel development of skills children acquire which allow them to use their developing linguistic skills effectively in social interaction, develop best in a World that is rich with sounds, sights, and consistent exposure to the speech and language of others. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8
Face, in a certain context, is a public self-image that every member wants to claim for one’s self. Philosophers have always been interested in meaning, and have contributed to much of the conceptual apparatus used in its discussion (sense, reference, connotation, denotation, intention, intension, and so forth). Problems of meaning are not simple, and for many years linguists seemed willing to let philosopher struggles with them. Investigators who have studied conversational exchanges in English have identified and described such features of conversation, as for example, sequencing (including placement of laughter), interruptions, self- (and other) corrections, and so forth, in order to explicate such conversational accomplishments as, for example, gaining and holding the floor, telling acceptable stories, extending invitations, making social categorization, and so on. The analysis is understanding of how conversations are successfully begun, carried on, and ended in rule-governed social interaction. Language is also used as a method of social control in talk than to more visible instances of manipulative acts involving named instrumentalities. #RandolphHarris 5 of 8
There are many ways of saying the same thing, depending on the age and culture of the person and also the location where what they are trying to explained happened. Some people do not always know how to accurately transform their thoughts into action, and such a mistake could get a person in a lot of trouble. Also, social control attempts are things we should pay more attention to. Some people try to manipulate the sound of words to convey a point on the sly, while others will make a statement so you can gather a social que and act in the manner they are suggesting. And Body language can be used to make statements as well. I do not think anyone would wish to deny the obvious—that we keep on learning more of our language in some sense as we get older. Language develops cognitive skills, fosters connections to international markets, preserves ancient traditions and histories, and cultivates a crucial understanding and appreciation of the World. When we can understand that culture in its language, and get a comprehensive view, we are immediately receptive to areas where conflict can be averted. #RandolphHarris 6 of 8
It is important to train global citizens and global leaders to have a transcultural literacy at a deep level. For some cultures, “Cooking fish,” does not mean preparing fish that you bought from the market for a meal to consume. Language is employed as a resource in social control and on the macrolevel those who control symbol control societies through their use in cultural reproduction and therefore in continuing class dominance. The greater an individual’s context independence in speech, through greater facility in these elaborated codes, the greater an individual’s ability to disengage from the immediate and the concrete (that is, to attain cognitive detachment), and thus the greater one’s autonomy and control over access to the environment is. Controllers are also used in different mixes of control modes and discretion in accomplishing different functions. For example, if you pick a friend up and she or he lives far away and they ask can they stay the night, but you do not want them to, you might say, “When do you think you will be ready to leave?” or “You will have to walk home if you stay.” Many people speak English, but different subcultures use certain words in a context, which might make you think you need to consult an ancient scribe. #RandolphHarris 7 of 8
Biblical thought and indeed the intellectual cultural traditions of most societies are communicated especially through languages. The choice and orchestration of the words provide a clue to what the meaning of the World is about. What is so perilous, then, in the fact that people speak and that their speech proliferates? Where is the danger in that? Philosophers, linguists, psychologist, and social psychologists as well, are deeply involved in questions of meaning and intent. Reading ancient text may not solve all of our problems, but it will give us a sense of whom we are talking to, of what fundamental social, cultural, and ecological realities we are facing, which we ignore at our peril. Latin, at the height of the Empire, was a sick language before it become a dead language. The cultural languages of our age are similarly sick, rotten to the core. We need to keep language strong and healthy. The languages of sophistication have all developed through metaphorization and we need to prevent them from all becoming childish as the meanings of the metaphors are forgotten. Sorry does not restore my hindsight. Now may the Lord, peace himself, give you his peace at all times and in every situation. #RandolphHarris 8 of 8
Randolph Harris II International Institute 