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It is Still an Ill Wind that Blows When You Leave the Hairdresser, Guilty of Spiritual Arson!

August 10, 2020 4:19 am

Cordelia, then, is her name! Cordelia! It is a beautiful name, and that, too, is important, since it can often be very disturbing to have an ugly name together with the most tender adjectives. I already recognized her a log way off; she was walking with two other girls on her left. The movement of their walking seemed to indicate that they were about to stop. I stood on the corner and read the posters, while I continually kept my eye on my strangers. They parted. The two presumably had gone a little out of their way, for they went in a different direction. She came along toward my corner. When she had walked a few steps, one of the young ladies came running after her and cried loudly enough for me to hear it: Cordelia! Cordelia! Then the third one joined them; they put their heads together for a privy council meeting whose secrets I futilely strained my ears to hear. Thereupon they all three laughed and hurried away at a somewhat quicker pace in the direction the two had taken. I followed them. They entered a house on Stranden. I waited for a while, since there was a strong probability that Cordelia would soon come back alone. However, that did not happen. Cordelia! That is really a splendid name—indeed, the same name as that of King Lear’s third daughter, that remarkable girl whose heart did no dwell on her lips, whose lips were mute when her heart was full. #RandolphHarris 1 of 23

So also with my Cordelia. She resembles her, of that I am certain. However, in another sense her heart does dwell on her lips, not in the form of words but in more heartfelt way in the form of a kiss. How ripe with health her lips! I have never seen lips more beautiful. That I actually am in love I can tell partly by the secrecy with which I treat this matter, almost even with myself. All love is secretive, even the faithless kind, if it has the appropriate esthetic element within it. It has never occurred to me to wish for confidants or to boast of my adventures. Thus is almost makes me happy that I did not come to know where she lives but the place where she frequently visits. Perhaps I thereby may also have come even closer to my goal. I can make my observations without arousing her attention, and from this firmly established point it will be difficult for me to gain admission into her family. However, should this situation turn out to be a difficulty—eh bien [well, now]!—then I will put up with the difficulty alone. Everything I do I do con amore [with love] and o I also love con amore. In the realm of human destiny, the depth of human’s questioning is more important than one’s answers. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable. The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one’s soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are no attractive—you are leaking. #RandolphHarris 2 of 23

James, the Lord’s brother, understood this as well as any man in history, and through the use of graphic analogies he has given us the most penetrating exposition of the tongue anywhere in literature, sacred or secular: “When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts,” reports James 3.3-5. The horse is an incredibly powerful animal. Takes 550 pounds (as much as puffing Olympic heavyweight lifter can hoist overhead), set it on a horse’s back, and it will barely snort as it stands breathing easily under the burden. The same horse, unburdened, can sprint a quarter-mile in about twenty-five seconds. A horse is half a ton of raw power! Yet, place a bridle and bit in its mouth and a 100-pound woman on its back who knows what she is doing and the animal can literally be made to dance. James observed the same phenomenon in ancient ships, as ships small and large were steered by an amazingly small rudder. Today it is still the same, where it be an acrobatic ski boat or the USS Enterprise. One who controls the rudder controls the ship. #RandolphHarris 3 of 23

So it is with the mighty togue, that “movable muscular structure attached to the floor of the mouth” (Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary). “The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts,” says James (v. 5). Or as Phillips has helpfully paraphrased it, “the human tongue is physically small, but what tremendous effects it can boast of.” Though it weighs only two ounces, it can legitimately boast of its disproportioned power to determine human destiny. This lives of Adolph Hitler and Winston Churchill bear eloquent testimony to the dark and bright sides of the to the dark and bright sides of the tongue’s power. The Fuhrer on one side of the Channel harangued a vast multitude with his hypnotic cadences. On the other side, the Prime Minister’s brilliant, measured utterances pulled a faltering nation together for its “finest hour.” However, we need not to look the drama of nations to see the truth of James’ words. Our own lives are evidence enough. Never doubt the power of the tiny tongue—and never underestimate it. James’ principal concern is with the destructive power of the tongue, and this produces a most provocative statement: “Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a World of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell,” (vv. 5,6). #RandolphHarris 4 of 23

The tongue has awesome potential for harm, as the forest fire analogy suggests. At 9.00 one Sunday evening, October 8, 1871, poor Mrs. O’Leary’s cow kicked over the lantern as she was being milked, starting the great Chicago Fire. That disaster blackened three and one half miles of the city, destroying over 17,000 buildings before it was checked by gunpowder explosions on the south line of fire. The fire lasted two days and cost over 250 lives. However, ironically that was not the greatest inferno in the Midwest that year. Historians tell us that one the same day that dry autumn a spark ignited a raging fire in the North Woods of Wisconsin, a blasé which burned for an entire month, taking more lives than the Chicago Fire. A veritable firestorm destroyed billions of yards of precious timber—all from one spark! The tongue has that scope of inflammatory power in human relationships, and James is saying that those who misuse the tongue are guilty of spiritual arson. A mere spark from an ill-spoken word can produce a firestorm that annihilates everyone it touches. Furthermore, because the tongue is a “World of evil,” it contains and conveys all the World system’s wickedness. It is party to every evil there is and actively intrudes its evil into our lives. #RandolphHarris 5 of 23

What is the effect of the tongue’s cosmic wickedness? “It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire” (v.6). “Course of life” is literally “the wheel of our genesis,” “genesis” referring to our human life or existence. What an apt description of human experience! About nine-tenths of the flames we experience in our lives come from the tongue. Having grabbed our imaginations with his graphic language, James adds the final touch: “and is itself set on fire by hell.” Here the language means continually set on fire. James used the same word for Hell that his brother Jesus used—“Gehenna”—derived from the perpetually burning garbage dump outside Jerusalem, a place of fire and filth where, as Jesus said, “their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched” (Mark 9.48). Can anyone miss the point? The uncontrolled tongue has a direct pipeline to Hell! Fueled by Hell, it burns our lives with its filthy fires. However, it also, as Calvin says, an “instrument for catching, encouraging, and increasing the fires of hell.” Taking James’ word seriously, we recognize that the tongue has more destructive power than a hydrogen bomb, for the bomb’s power is physical and temporal, whereas the tongue is spiritual and eternal. The female spider is often a widow for embarrassing reasons—she regularly eats those who come her way. #RandolphHarris 6 of 23

Lonely suitors and visitors alike quickly become corpses, and her dining room is a morgue. A visiting fly, having become captive, will appear to be whole, but the spider has drunk his insides so that he becomes his own hollow casket. Not a pleasant thought, especially if you have a touch of arachnophobia, as I do! The reason for this macabre procedure is that she has no stomach and so is incapable of digesting anything with her. Through tiny punctures she injects her digestive juices into a fly so that his insides are broken down and turned into warm soup. This soup she swills, even as most of us swill souls of one another after having cooked them in various enzymes: guilt, humiliations, subjectivities, cruel love—there are a number of fine, acidic mixes. And some among us are so skilled with the hypodermic word that our dear ones continue to sit up and to smile, quite as though they were still alive. This is a gruesome but effective metaphor to describe the destructive power of evilly intended words. Words do not dissolve mere organs and nerves but souls! This World is populated by walking human caskets because countless lives have been dissolved and sucked empty by another’s words. #RandolphHarris 7 of 23

Significantly, James does not tell us how the tongue’s destructive power is manifested in human speech. He knows that the spiritual mind, informed by the Scriptures, will have no problem in making the connections. This is also the same message Mrs. Winchester left behind in her spider web, art glass, and Shakespearean windows. It is also why Mrs. Winchester did not tolerate gossip and would let an employee go in a heartbeat for violating her will. The tongue’s destructive power in gossip lead the list, of course. A neighbour was jealous of Mrs. Winchester’s house and she fell victim to disgruntled town’s folks, who tried to ruin her professionally through rumor, and almost did. Several years later the gossiper had a change of heart and wrote Mrs. Winchester asking for her forgiveness, and she forgave her. However, there was no way the story could be erased. As Solomon wisely observed, “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down into a human’s inmost parts,” Proverbs 18.8. Gossip is greedily picked up and stored away by the hearers like tasty tidbits of filet mignon en croute au foie gras. Vigorous denial would only bring more suspicion—“So and so protests too much!” The damage was done. Hereafter the innocent Mrs. Winchester would always look into certain eyes and wonder if they had heard the story—and if they believed it. #RandolphHarris 8 of 23

Gossip often veils itself in acceptable conventions such as “Have you hear?” or “Did you know?” or “They tell me…” or “Keep this to yourself, but…” or “I do not believe it is true, but I heard that…” or “I would not such rationalization in Christian circles is, “I am telling you this so you can pray.” This seems so pious, but the heart that feeds on hearing evil reports is a tool of Hell, and it leaves flaming fires and dead bodies in its wake. Oh, the heartache that comes from the tongue. A cousin of gossip is innuendo. Consider the ship’s first mate who after a drunken binge was written up by the captain on the ship’s log: “mate drunk off some Amsterdam and Hennessy today.” The mate’s revenge? Some months later he surreptitiously wrote on his own entry, “Captain sober today.” So it goes with the word unsaid, the awkward silence, the raised eyebrows, the quizzical look—all freighted with the misery of Hell. Gossip involves saying behind a person’s back what you would never say to one’s face. Flattery means saying to a person’s face what you would never say behind one’s back. The Scriptures warn us repeatedly against flatterers, for they are destructive people who carry a legion of unwholesome motives: “Whoever flatters one’s neighbour is spreading a net for one’s feet,” reports Proverbs 29.5. “A lying togue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin,” reports Proverbs 26.28. #RandolphHarris 9 of 23

Fault-finding seems endemic to the Christian Church. Perhaps this is because a taste of righteousness can be easily perverted into an overweening sense of self-righteousness and judgmentalism. Once while William Wirt Winchester was preaching, he noticed a lady in the audience who was known for her critical attitude. All through the service she sat and stared at his new tie. When the meeting ended, she same up to him and said very sharply, “Mr. Winchester, the strings on your tie are much too long. It is an offense to me!” He asked if any of the ladies present happened to have a pair of scissors in their purse. When the scissors were handed to him, he gave them to his critic and asked her to trim the streamers to her liking. After she clipped them off near the collar, he said, “Are you sure they are all right now?” “Yes, that is much better.” “Then let me have those shears a moment,” said Mr. Winchester. “I am sure you would not mind if I also gave you a bit of correction. I must tell you, madam, that your tongue is an offense to me—it is too long! Please stick it out…I would like to take some off.” On another occasion someone said to Mr. Winchester, “My talent is to speak my mind.” Mr. Winchester replied, “That is one talent God would not care a bit if you buried!” This is good advice for all Christians. “May the Lord cut off all flattering lips and every boastful tongue that says, ‘We will triumph with our tongues…’” reports Psalm 12.3, 4. #RandolphHarris 10 of 23

Justice is the first virtue of social institutions, as truth is of systems of thought. A theory however elegant and economical must be rejected or revised if it is untrue; likewise laws and institutions no matter how efficient and well-arranged must be reformed or abolished if they are unjust. Each person possesses an inviolability founded on justice that even the welfare of society as a whole cannot override. For this reason justice denies that the loss of freedom for some is made right by a greater good shared by others. It does not allow that the scarifies imposed on a few are outweighed by the larger sum of advantages enjoyed by many. Therefore in a just society the liberties of equal citizenship are taken as settled; the right secured by justice are not subject to political bargaining or to the calculus of social interests. The only thing that permits us to acquiesce in an erroneous theory is the lack of a better one; analogously, an injustice is tolerable only when it is necessary to avoid an even greater injustice. Being first virtues of human activities, truth and justice are uncompromising. These propositions seem to express our intuitive conviction of the primacy of justice. No doubt they are expressed too strongly. In any event I wish to inquire whether these contentions or others similar to them are sound, and if so how they can be accounted for. #RandolphHarris 11 of 23

To this end it is necessary to work out a theory of justice in the light of which these assertions can be interpreted and assessed. I shall begin by considering the role of the principles of justice. Let us assume, to fix ideas, that a society is a more or less self-sufficient association of persons who in the relations to one another recognize certain rules of conduct as binding and who for the most part act in accordance with them. Supposed further that these rules specify a system of cooperation designed to advance the good of those taking part in it. Then, although a society is a cooperative venture for mutual advantage, it is typically marked by a conflict as well as by an identity of interests. There is an identity of interests since social cooperation makes possible a better life for all than any would have if each were to live solely by one’s own efforts. There is a conflict of interests since persons are not indifferent as to how the greater benefits produced by their collaboration are distributed, for in order to pursue their ends they each prefer a larger to a lesser share. A set of principles is required for choosing among the various social arrangements which determine this division of advantages for underwriting an agreement on the proper distributive shares. These principles are he principles of social justice: they provide a way of assigning right and duties in the basic institutions of society and they define the appropriate distribution of the benefits and burdens of social cooperation. #RandolphHarris 12 of 23

Now let us say that a society is well-ordered when it is not only designed advance the good of its members but when it is also effectively regulated by a public conception of justice. That is, it is a society in which (1) everyone accepts and knows that the others accept the same principles of justice, and (2) the basic social institutions generally satisfy and are generally known to satisfy these principles. In this case while human may put forth excessive demands on one another, they nevertheless acknowledge a common point of view from which their claims may be adjudicated. If human’s inclination to self-interest makes their valiance against one another necessary, their public sense of justice makes their secure association together possible. Among individuals with disparate aims and purposes a shared conception of justice establishes the bonds of civic friendship; the general desire for justice limits the pursuit of other ends. One may think of a public conception of justice as constituting the fundamental character of a well-ordered human association. Existing societies are of course seldom well-ordered in this sense, for what is just and unjust is usually in dispute. Humans disagree about which principles should define the basis terms of their association. Yet we may still, despite this disagreement, that they each have a conception of justice. #RandolphHarris 13 of 23

That is, they understand the need for, and they are prepared to affirm, a characteristic set of principles for assigning basic rights and duties and for determining what they take to be the proper distribution of the benefits and burdens of social cooperation. Thus it seems natural to think the conception of justice as distinct from the various conceptions of justice and as being specified by the role which these different sets of principles, these different conceptions, have in common. Those who hold different conceptions of justice can, then, still agree that institutions are just when no arbitrary distinctions are made between persons in the assigning of basic rights and duties and when the rules determine a proper balance between competing claims to the advantages of social life. Humans can agree to this description of just institutions since the notions of an arbitrary distinction and of a proper balance, which are included in the concept of justice, are left open for each to interpret according to the principles of justice that one accepts. These principles single out which similarities and differences among persons are relevant in determining rights and duties and they specify which division of advantages is appropriate. #RandolphHarris 14 of 23

Clearly this distinction between the concept and the various conceptions of justice settles no important questions. It simply helps to identify the role of the principles of social justice. Some measures of agreement in conceptions of justice is, however, not the only prerequisite for a viable human community. There are other fundamental social problems, in particular those of coordination, efficiency, and stability. Thus the plans of individuals need to be fitted together so that their activities are compatible with one another and they can all be carried through without anyone’s legitimate expectations being severely disappointed. Moreover, the execution of these plans should lead to the achievement of social ends in ways that are efficient and consistent with justice. And final, the scheme of social cooperation must be stable: it must be more or less regularly complied with and its basic rules willingly acted upon; and when infractions occur, stabilizing forces should exist that prevent further violations and tend to restore the arrangement. Now it is evident that these three problems are connected with that of justice. In the absence of a certain measure of agreement on what is just and unjust, it is clearly more difficult for individuals to coordinate their plans efficiently in order to ensure that mutually beneficial arraignments are maintained. #RandolphHarris 15 of 23

Distrust and resentment corrode the ties of civility, and suspicion and hostility tempt humans to acts in ways they would otherwise avoid. So while the distinctive role of conceptions of justice is to specify basic rights and duties and to determine the appropriate distributive shares, the way in which a conception does this is bound to affect the problems of efficiency, coordination, and stability. We cannot, in general, assess a conception of justice by its distributive role alone, however useful this role may be in identifying the concept of justice. We must take into account its wider connections; for even though justice has a certain priority, being the most important virtue of institutions, it is still true that, other things equal, one conception of justice is preferable to another when its broader consequences are more desirable. Recognizing God helps you define the Universe as you see it. I who stand before you, I who come into your presence, I who am your worshipper, call out to you, Dear God in Heaven. You are unlimited, and are vastly greater than we are. Sweet-songed God, hear me. I come before you, Lord of the Bow, whose arrows bring healing. I ask that you help me, please heal the wounded in this planet, as their wounds vary from spiritual, financial, physical and/or mental. #RandolphHarris 16 of 23

King Lamont supposes that Ammon is the Great Spirit—Ammon teaches the king about the Creation, God’s dealings with humans, and the redemption that comes through Christ—Lamoni believes and falls to the Earth as if dead. About 90 years Before Christ. “And it came to pass that king Lamoni caused that his servants should stand forth and testified to the things which they had seen, and he had learned of the faithfulness of Ammon in preserving his flocks, and also of his great power in contending against those who sought to slay him, he was astonished exceedingly, and said: Surely, this is more than a man. Behold, is not this the Great Spirit who doth send such great punishments upon this people, because of their murders? And they answered the king, and said: Whether he be the Great Spirit or a man, we know not; but this much we do know, that he cannot be slain by the enemies of the king; neither can they scatter the king’s flocks when he is with us, because of his expertness and great strength; therefore, we know that he is a friend to the king. And now, O king, we do not believe that a human has such great power, for we know cannot be slain. And now, when the king heard these words, he said unto them; Now I know that it is the Great Spirit; and he has come down at this time to preserve you lives, that I might be your brethren. #RandolphHarris 17 of 23

“Now, this is the Great Spirit of whom our father have spoken. Now this was the tradition of Lamoni, which he had received from his father, that there was a Great Spirit. Notwithstanding they believed in a Great Spirit, they suppose that whatsoever they did was right; nevertheless, Lamont began to fear exceedingly, with fear lest he had some wrong in slaying his servants; for he had slain many of them because their brethren had scattered their flocks at the place of water; and thus, because they had had their flocks scattered they were slain. Now it was the practices of these Lamanites to stand by the waters of Sebus to scatter the flocks of the people, that thereby they might drive away many that were scattered unto their own land, it being a practice of plunder among them. And it came to pass that king Lamoni inquired of his servants, saying: Where is this man that has such great power? And they said unto him: Behold, he is feeding they horses. Now the king has commanded his servants, previous to the time of the watering of their flocks, that they should prepare his horses and chariots, and conduct him forth to the land of Nephi; for there had been a great feast appointed at the land of Nephi, by the father of Lamoni, who was king over all the land. #RandolphHarris 18 of 23

“Now when king Lamoni heard that Ammon was preparing his horses and his chariots he was more astonished, because of the faithfulness of Ammon, saying: Surely there has not been any servant among all my servants that has been so faithful as this man; for even he doth remember all my commandments to execute them. Now I surely know that this is the Great Spirit, and I would desire him that he come in unto me, but I durst not. And it came to pass that when Ammon had made ready the horses and the chariots for the king and his servants, he went in no the king, and he saw that the countenance of the king was changed; therefore he was about to return out of his presence. And one of the king’s servants said unto him, Rabbanah, which is, being interpreted, powerful or great king, considering their kings to be powerful; and thus he said unto him: Rabbanah, the king desireth thee to stay. Therefore Ammon turned himself unto the king, and said unto him: What wilt thou that I should do for thee, O king? And the king answered him not for the space of an hour, according to their time for he knew no what he should say unto him. And it came to pass that Ammon said unto him again: What desirest thou of me? But the king answered not. And it came to pass that Ammon, being filled with the Spirit of God, therefore he perceived the thoughts of the king. #RandolphHarris 19 of 23

“And he said unto him: Is it because thou hast heard that I defended thy servants and thy flocks, and slew seven of their brethren with the sling and with the sword, and smote off the arms of others, in order to defend thy flocks and thy servants; behold, is it this that causeth thy marvelings? I say unto you, what is it, that they marvelings are so great? Behold, I am a man, and am thy servant; therefore, whatsoever thou desirest which is right, that will I do. Now when the king had heard these words, he marveled again, for he behold that Ammon could discern his thoughts; but notwithstanding this, king Lamoni did open his mouth, and said unto him: Who art thou? Art thou that Great Spirit, who knows all things? Ammon answered and said unto him: I am not. And the king said: How knowest thou the thoughts of my heart? Thou mayest speak boldly, and tell me concerning these things; and also tell me by what power ye slew and smote off the arms of my brethren that scattered my flocks—and now, if thou wilt tell me concerning these things, whatsoever thou desirest I will give unto thee: and if it were needed, I would guard thee with my armies; but I know that thou art more powerful than all they; nevertheless, whatsoever thou desirest of me I will grant it unto thee. #RandolphHarris 20 of 23

“Now Ammon being wise, yet harmless, he said unto Lamoni: Wilt thou hearken unto my words, if I tell thee by what power I do these things? And this is the thing that I desire of thee. And the king answered him, and said: Yea, I will believe all thy words. And thus he was caught with guile. And Ammon began to speak unto him with boldness, and said unto him: Believest thou that there is a God? And he answered, and said unto him: I do no know what the meaneth. And then Ammon said: Believest thou that there is a Great Spirit? And he said, Yea. And Ammon said: This is God. And Ammon said unto him again: Believest thou that this Great Spirit, who is God, created all things which are in Heaven and in the Earth? And he said: Yea, I believe that he created all things which are in the Earth; but I do not know the Heavens. And Ammon said unto him: The Heavens is a place where God dwells and all his holy angels. And king Lamoni said: Is it above the Earth? And Ammon said: Yea, and he looked down upon all the children of humans; and he knows all the thoughts and intents of the heart; for by his hand were they all created from the beginning. And king Lamoni said; I believe all these things which thou hast spoken. Art thou sent from God? Ammon said to him: I am a man; and man in the beginning was created after the image of God, and I am called by his Holy Spirit to teach these things unto this people, that they may be brought to a knowledge of that which is just and true. #RandolphHarris 21 of 23

“And a portion of that Spirit dwelleth in me, which giveth me knowledge, and also power according to my faith and desires which are in God. Now when Ammon had said these words, he began at the creation of the World, and also the creation of Adam, and told him all the things concerning the fall of man, and rehearsed and laid before him the records and the holy scriptures of the people, which had been spoken by the prophets, even down to the time that their father, Lehi, left Jerusalem. And he also rehearsed unto them (for it was unto the king and to his servants) al the journeyings of their fathers in the wilderness, and all their sufferings with hunger and thirst, and their travail, and so forth. And he also rehearsed unto them concerning the rebellions of Laman and Lemuel, and the sons of Ishmael, yea, all their rebellions did he relate unto them; and he expounded unto them all the records and scriptures from the time that Lehi left Jerusalem down to the present time. However, this is not all; for he expounded unto them the plan of redemption, which was prepared from the foundation of the World; and he also made known unto them concerning the coming of Christ, and all the work of the Lord did he make known unto them. #RandolphHarris 22 of 23

“And it came to pass that after he had said all these things, and expounded them to the king, that the king believed all his words. And he began to cry unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, have mercy; according to thy abundant mercy which thou hast had upon the people of Nephi, have upon me, and my people. And now, when he had said this, he fell unto the Earth, as if he were dead. And it came to pass that his servant took him and carried him in unto his wife, and laid him upon a bed; and he lay as if he were dead for the space of two days and two nights; and his wife, and his sons, and his daughters mourned over him, after the manner of the Lamenting his loss,” reports Alma 18.1-43. Look down from Heaven, O Christ, on Thy flock and lambs, and bless their bodies and souls. Please grant those who have received Thy sign, O Christ, on their foreheads, to be Thine own in the day of judgment. A Desto, Domine, supplicationibus nostris; et me, qui etiam misericordia Tua primus indigeo, clementer exaudi; et quem non election emeriti, sed dono gratiae Tuae, constituisti hujus operis ministrum, da fiduciam Tui muneris exsequendia, et Ispse in nostro ministerio quod Tuae pietatis est operare. #RandolphHarris 23 of 23

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The Spirit of Liberty Remembers that Not Even a Sparrow Falls to the Earth Unheeded!

August 6, 2020 11:37 pm

We are a feelingless people. If we could really feel, the pain would be so great that we would stop all the suffering. A vivid example of this comes from a young man who has been a recipient of much sensitive understanding and who is now in the later stages of his therapy: Client: “I could even conceive of it as a possibility that I could have a kind of tender concern for me. Still, how could I be tender, be concerned for myself, when they are one and the same thing? But yet I can feel it so clearly—you know, like taking care of a child. You want to give it this and give it that. I can kind of clearly see the purposes for somebody else, but I can never see them for myself, that I could do this for me, you know. Is it possible that I can really want to take care of myself, and make that a major purpose of my life? That means I would have to deal with the whole World as if I were guardian of the most cherished and most wanted possession, that this I was between this precious me that I wanted to take care of and the whole World. It is almost as if I loved myself; you know, that is strange—but it is true.” Therapist: “It seems such a strange concept to realize. It would me I would face the World as though a part of my primary responsibility was taking care of this precious individual who is me—whom I love.” #RandolphHarris 1 of 22

Client: “Who I for—whom I feel so close to. Woof! That is another strange one.” Therapist: “It just seems weird.” Client: “Yeah. It hits rather close somehow. The idea of my loving me and taking care of me. (His eyes grow moist.) That is a very nice one—very nice.” It is, I believe, the therapist’s caring understanding—exhibited in this excerpt as well as previously—which had permitted this client to experience a high regard, even a love, for himself. Still a third impact of a sensitive understanding comes from its nonjudgmental quality. The highest expression of empathy is accepting and nonjudgmental. This is true because if you have formed an evaluative opinion of another person, it is impossible to be accurately perceptive of that person’s inner World. If you doubt this statement, choose someone you know with whom you deeply disagree and who is, in your judgement, definitely wrong or mistaken. Now try to state that individual’s views, beliefs, and feelings so accurately that one will agree that you have sensitively and correctly described one’s stance. I predict that nine times out of ten you will fail, because your judgment of the person’s views creeps into your description of them. Consequently, true empathy is always free of any evaluative or diagnostic quality. #RandolphHarris 2 of 22

The recipient perceives true empathy with some surprise: “If I am not being judged, perhaps I am not so evil or abnormal as I have thought. Perhaps I do not have to judge myself so harshly.” Thus, the possibility of self-acceptance is gradually increased. There comes to mind a psychologist whose interest in psychotherapy started as a result of his research in visual perception. In this research, many students were interviewed and asked to relate their visual and perceptual history, including any difficulties in seeing or reading, their reaction to wearing glasses, and so forth. The psychologist simply listened with interest, made no judgments on what he was hearing, and completed the gathering of his data. To his amazement, a number of these students returned spontaneously to thank him for all the help he had given them. He had, in his opinion, given them no help at all. However, it forced him to recognize that interested nonevaluative listening is a potent therapeutic force, even when directed at a narrow sector of life, and with no intent of being helpful. Perhaps another way of putting some of what I have been saying is that a finely tuned understanding by another individual gives the recipient a sense of personhood, of identity. #RandolphHarris 3 of 22

The sense of identity requires the existence of another by whom one is known, which means we need to have our existence confirmed by another. Empathy gives that needed confirmation that one does exist as a separate, valued person with an identity. Persons begin revealing material that they have never communicated before, in the process discovering previously unknown elements in themselves. Such an element may be “I never knew before that I was angry at my father,” or “I never realized that I am afraid of succeeding.” Such discoveries are unsettling but exciting. To perceive a new aspect of oneself is the first step toward changing the concept of oneself. The new element is, in an understanding atmosphere, owned and assimilated into a now altered self-concept. This is the basis, in my estimation, of the behaviour changes that can come about as a result of psychotherapy. Once the self-concept changes, behaviour changes to match the freshly perceived self. If we think, however, that empathy is effective only in the one-to-one relationship called psychotherapy, we are greatly mistaken. Even in the classroom it makes an important difference. When teachers show evidence that they understand the meaning of classroom experiences for students, learning improves. #RandolphHarris 4 of 22

It has been found that when teachers exhibit a high degree of understanding, children’s reading improves more than it does in classrooms where such understanding does not exist. This finding has been replicated in many classrooms. Jus as clients in psychotherapy find that empathy provides a climate for learning more of themselves, so students in the classroom find themselves in a climate for learning subject matter when they are in the presence of an understanding teacher. When persons are perceptively understood, they find themselves coming in closer touch with a wider range of their experiencing. This gives them an expanded referent to which they can turn for guidance in understanding themselves and in directing their behaviour. If the empathy has been accurate and deep, they may also be able to unblock a flow of experiencing and permit it to run its uninhibited course. Many people need empathic listeners. They feel wounded inside, like a physical wound, but do not like to see others feeling sorry for themselves. Yet at the same time, many people know no one will care about one’s own feelings like one cares about them, but in our culture it is not acceptable to express emotions. So they cover them up. They want to get rid of their feelings and pretend that are not hurt. #RandolphHarris 5 of 22

At the basis of their experience, there is a feeling of real tears for themselves. However, they cannot show them, must not show them, so they are covered by bitterness and the individual does not like feeling bitter and wants to transcend that emotion. Many people feel like they would almost rather absorb the hurt than to—than to feel the bitterness. And what they seem to be saying is, “I do not hurt, and I have tried to cover it up.” It is like a new discovery, as though some of the most delicate aspects of their being, physically almost, have been crushed. Therefore, it is clear people need empathic responses that encourage them in the wider exploration of, and closer acquaintance with, the visceral experiencing going on within. Most individuals are learning to listen to their guts (to use an inelegant term). One has expanded one’s knowledge of the flow of their experiencing. We may also see how this unverbalized visceral flow is used as a referent. How do people know that “guilt” is not the word to describe their feelings? They know by turning within, taking another look at this reality, this palpable process that is taking place, this experiencing. And so one can test the word “hurt” against this referent, and one finds it close. Only when one tries the phrase, “Oh you poor thing,” does it really fit the inner felt meaning of compassion and sorrow for one’s self. #RandolphHarris 6 of 22

In my judgment, many people have not only used this aspect of their experiencing as a referent, but have also learned something about this process of checking with one’s total physiological being—a learning one can apply again and again. And empathy has helped to make it possible. We also find in this slice of therapy what it means to let an experiencing run its course. This is clearly not a new feeling. So many people have often felt it before, yet it has never been lived out. It has been blocked in some way. I am quite clear as to the reality of vividness of the unblocking that will follow, because I have many times been a party to its occurrence, but I am not sure how it may best be described. It seems to me that only when a gut-level experience is fully accepted and accurately labeled in awareness can it be completed. Then the person can move beyond it. Again, it is the sensitively empathic climate that helps to move the experiencing forward to its conclusion, which, in this case, is the uninhibited experiencing of the pity one feels for oneself. We can say that when persons find themselves sensitively and accurately understood, they develop a set of growth-promoting or therapeutic attitudes toward themselves. The nonevaluative and acceptant quality of the empathic climate enables persons, as we have seen, to take a prizing, caring attitude toward themselves. #RandolphHarris 7 of 22

Being listened to by someone who understands makes it possible for persons to listen more accurately to themselves, with greater empathy toward their own visceral experiencing, their own vaguely felt meanings. The individuals’ greater understanding of and prizing of themselves opens to them new facets of experience which become part of a more accurately based self-concept. The self is now more congruent with the experiencing. Thus, the persons have become, in their attitudes toward themselves, more caring and acceptant, more empathic and understanding, more real and congruent. However, these three elements are they very ones that both experience ad research indicate are the attitudes of an effective therapist. So we are perhaps not overstating the total picture if we say that an emphatic understanding by another enables a person to become a more effective growth enhancer, a more effective therapist for himself or herself. Consequently, whether we are functioning as therapists, as encounter-group facilitators, as teachers, or as parents, we have in our hands, if we are able to take an empathic stance, a powerful force for change and growth. Its strength needs to be appreciated. #RandolphHarris 8 of 22

However, the empathic process is not regarded as the only important factor in growthful relationships. In the ordinary interactions of life—between marital and partners who fixate on pleasures of the flesh, between teacher and student, employer and employee, or between colleagues or friends—congruence is probably the most important element. Congruence, or genuineness, involves letting the other person know “where you are” emotionally. It may involve confrontation and the straightforward expression of personally owned feelings—both negative and optimistic. Thus, congruence is a basis for living together in a climate of realness. However, in certain other special situations, caring, or prizing, may turn out to be the most significant element. Such situations include nonverbal relationship—between parent and infant, therapist and mute psychotic, physician and very ill patient. Caring is an attitude that is known to foster creativity—a nurturing climate in which delicate, tentative new thoughts and productive processes can emerge. Then, in my experience, there are other situations in which the empathic was of being has the highest priority. When the other person is hurting, confused, troubled, anxious, alienated, terrified, or when one is doubtful of self-worth, uncertain as to 2—then understanding is called for. #RandolphHarris 9 of 22

The gentle and sensitive companionship offered by an empathic person (who must, of course, possess the other two attitudes) provides illumination and healing. In such situations deep understanding is, I believe, the most precious gift one can give to another. No master has the right to ask any candidate for discipleship to surrender oneself absolutely, to place oneself unreservedly in the master’s hands and to obey unquestioningly the master’s orders. The trust demanded should arise of its own accord by progressive degrees as the relationship proceeds and develops, and as the master proves by one’s conduct and effectiveness to be fully worthy of it. Because one gives the master devotion one does not also have to give this individual idolatry. One’s disciples are taught how to unite independent thinking with loyal feeling in their attitude toward one. This satisfies them both. There are those who think their teacher neglects to answer their mail. Because the teacher leaves their letters so long unanswered, they conclude that one means to drop them out of one’s life. Nothing could be farther from the truth. It is true that one lacks the staff needed to handle it, that the pressure of work like writing and mediation and research notes leaves one little remaining time. #RandolphHarris 10 of 22

However, those who have met one personally and call themselves one’s disciples often cannot understand one’s behaviour so one gives this published experience. Once inner contact is established by a single physical meeting it is not necessary to have further ones with the guide although they may be helpful. Sri Aurobindo granted only a single minute to each individual at first or later meeting with a disciple or a candidate for discipleship. Thus it is evident that one does not consider more than sixty seconds really necessary to establish it. Not only are further physical meetings not necessary but even further personal action on one’s part, such as writing letter to the disciples are also unnecessary even though they may be helpful. Thus a spiritual guide does not need to do anything physically or write anything personally to keep up the internal contact, it being kept up by the student’s remembrance, devotion, faith, and meditation. No disciple can be effectively trained by the log distance method of an occasional exchange of letters. One needs personal supervision, personal contact, and personal discussion of one’s special problems. No conscientious teacher will ever undertake to give instructions by mail and declare it sufficient. It gives too meagre a basis for accurate understanding on the disciple’s part or for an adequate communication on the teacher’s part. #RandolphHarris 11 of 22

Then again one cannot accept the position of personal counsellor under the guise of being spiritual teacher. That is no one’s work. Most students who keep on failing to recognize this fac against all previous and present warnings and who send letter after letter with every fluctuation of their personal moods and fortunes, in an attempt to wrest advice or intervention from one, may force one to break the external contact with the individual until such a time as they do realize what the true situation is. If one were to adopt a counselling position and to agree to show students how to apply the philosophical teaching to every change of their own personal life, one would soon have no time to give out those teachings at all. Consequently one must refuse to respond to all these attempts often openly but sometime hidden, often naïve but sometimes cunning, to get one personally involved in the life of the seeker or to mix both their personal problems together. So many of one’s correspondents try to force one into this highly personal self-actualized teacher-student relationship, and thus to impose their own responsibilities upon one’s shoulders, that one has to fall into lengthy periods of silence to protect oneself. Moreover, if one were to respond to the emotional Worldly problems in the way such response is desired, it would only mean the downfall to both of them and the breakdown of their pure relationship. #RandolphHarris 12 of 22

To maintain this purity, to safeguard the relationship itself, and to protect the master as well as the seeker, the proper teaching must be given from the start and that is: the teacher must be regarded as a symbol, not as a person. One is to be considered merely as an agent for that which one represents, not just another human being entering into a human relation with the disciple. Often the beginner, finding that the teacher does not fully respond to one’s emotional craving for continuous personal attention, soon becomes disappointed. This feeling may develop until it reaches a critical stage where one of two things may happen. Either one will fail to pass the test, for so it becomes, and will withdraw altogether from the relationship—perhaps even maligning the guide—or one will continue one’s trust, gain a new point of view, and make the needed change to a higher attitude in the end. If, however, one allows one’s egoism or emotion to lead one into disobedience of this rule, one will only endanger the relationship. If one persists in this disobedience, one will even find it brought to an end for a time. So few understand what is really involved in this relationship, so many misunderstanding it and are therefore disappointed by it in the beginning or along the way, that the teacher prefers with rare exceptions of well-advanced cases, not to enter into it outwardly at all but instead to offer a little friendly help with obligation. #RandolphHarris 13 of 22

No real master is ever afraid that one might lose any particular disciple. One takes possession of no one and leaves everyone as free as one found them. One understands quite well that the human’s need or search and one’s own high self’s gracious response brought the master into the picture as an indirect medium through which the response could operate. One understands, too, that all the instruction and advice, the uplift and help which one gives the disciple originate ultimately and really within the human, as the latter will one day discover when one has developed one’s own direct access to them, and therefore refuses to regard the relationship between them egotistically. The meaning of history seems rather disappointing. The sense of “let-down” recurs. If the meaning of history is that we must accept what we cannot avoid, there was really no need of the extraordinary situation of the Cross to let us know it. If the result is only that we shall continue to do, with more awareness, what we have always done anyway, there was no need for Jesus the Christ to die in a supreme testimony to his unity with being-itself. Yet, even when we are not, we are in the truth; we are in grace even when we are in sin; we are accepted even when we are estranged. #RandolphHarris 14 of 22

The all loving, eternally forgiving, unconditionally accepting Cross is the Protestant principle. It is the meaning of the cross and of the entire history of humans illuminated by the word from the Cross. No doubt that it is a valuable insight. However, it is worthy all that has prepared it? Above all, is it worth the self-sacrifice of Jesus? Surely not. All religions have reached approximations, in practice and in theory, of the Protestant principle. Thus two lines, vertical and horizontal, symbolize the meaning of human existence. The vertical lines points to the eternal meaning of existence, and the horizontal to its realization in history. We recognize here the Protestant principle that the eternal informs the temporal. Is this unique in Protestantism, or even in Christianity? Far from it: Every religion necessarily has both directions, although different religions emphasize the one or the other. Every religion, in other words, embodies the Protestant principle to some extent. Had there been no final revelation, no ultimate center of history, our World would have continued, cultures would have developed, without explicit reference to the Cross; yet they would have been unified around smaller revelations, as has been the case with non-Christian religions. The Logos would still have become flesh in a series of revelatory kairoi. #RandolphHarris 15 of 22

Basis and abyss would still have joined together; and in the duality of both the Unconditioned would have manifested itself. The profane would still be inseparably conjoined to the holy. And the tension between the two would have settled down along the lines that we assign to Church and society: The Church is the perpetual guilty conscience of society and society is the perpetual guilty conscious of the Church. Granted, the New Being would not have appeared in time; the Unconditional would not have lived under the conditions of existence. However, human kind lived under the conditions of existence. However, humankind could not have missed it because, in any case, this paradox was not to be expected. This description of what would have happened to the Universe without the Christ’s appearance may seem like a caricature. Actually it is the reverse of the coin we have received. If the meaning of history is only the justification of the unjust extended to the moral, the intellectual and the metaphysical fields, we could, frankly, have managed without the Messiah. We could have discovered it by analysing the ground of being, by asking philosophers about being-itself. The imaginative element needed for the doctrine of the Absolute as both ground and abyss of dynamic truth—which is the Protestant principle, the meaning of history—which was furnished to us simply by meditating by the sea-side. #RandolphHarris 16 of 22

We bring history to the point where it borders on the revelation and is the achievement of no puny vision. It is the meaning we assign to history that leaves us still hungry and thirsty: we think we are being prepared for more. Light, in general, is associated with God, and the presence of light with the presence of God. Surrounded by all the numinous beings of Earth and sky and water, I pray with confidence, for I know God’s help is certain. I place myself at your service, God of my people. Please open me to your wishes, make me a conduit for your will, brining forth your desires in the human World. This goes before me, opening the door. Key to God, be my way-shower. Hidden in the folds of the land you dwell and have dwelt since the World began. I am one of the World’s younger children come to honor you with these offerings. To the God who rules this place, to you I offer my friendship and with it this gift. Gateway of God, please receive my offering. As it sinks deep with you, let me open the door, and let it be carried to them whim I praise in this way. “And it came to pass in the eleventh year of the reign of the judges over the people of Nephi, on the fifth day of the second month, there having been much peace in the land of Zarahemla, there having been no wars nor contentions for a certain number of years, even until the fifth day of the second month in the eleventh year, there was a cry of war heard throughout the land. #RandolphHarris 17 of 22

“For behold, the armies of the Lamanites had come in upon the wilderness side, into the borders of the wilderness side, into the borders of the land, even into the city of Ammonihah, and began to play the people and destroy the city. And now it came to pass, before the Nephites could raise a sufficient army to drive them out of the land, they had destroyed the people who were in the city of Ammonihah, and also come around the borders of Noah, and taken others captive into the wilderness. Now it came to pass that Nephites were desirous to obtain those who had been carried away captive into the wilderness. Therefore, he that had been appointed chief captain over the armies of the Nephites, (and his name was Zoram, and he had two sons, Lehi and Aha)–now Zoram and his two sons, knowing that Alma was high priest over the church, and having heard that he had the spirit of prophecy, therefore they went unto him and desired of him to know whither the Lord would that they should go into the wilderness in search of their brethren, who had been taken captive by the Lamanites. And it came to pass that Alma inquired of the Lord concerning the matter. And Alma returned and said unto them: Behold, the Lamanites will cross the river Sidom in the south wilderness, away up beyond the borders of the land of Manti. #RandolphHarris 18 of 22

“And behold there shall ye meet them, on the east of the river Sidon, and there the Lord will deliver unto thee thy brethren who have been taken captive by the Lamanites. And it came to pass that Zoram and his sons crossed over the river Sidon, with their armies, and marched away beyond the borders of Manti into the south wilderness, which was on the east side of the river Sidom. And they came upon the armies of the Lamanites, and the Lamanites were scattered and drive into the wilderness; and they took their brethren who had been taken captive by the Lamanites, and there was not one soul of them had been lost that were taken captive. And they were brought by their brethren to possess their own lands. And thus ended the eleventh year of the judges, the Lamanites having been driven out of the land, and the people of Ammonihah were destroyed; yea, every living soul of the Ammonihahites was destroyed, and also their great city, which they said God could not destroy, because of its greatness. However, behold, in one day it was left desolate; and the carcasses were mangled by dogs and wild beasts of the wilderness. Nevertheless, after many days their dead bodies were heaped up upon the face of the Earth, and they were covered with a shallow covering. #RandolphHarris 19 of 22

“And now so great was the scent thereof that the people did not go in to possess the land of Ammonihah for many years. And it was called Desolation of Nehors; for they were the profession of Nehor, who were slain; and their lands remained desolate. And the Lamanites did not come again to war against the Nephites until for fourteenth year of the reign of the judges over the people of Nephi. And thus for three years did the people of Nephi have continual peace in all the land. And Alma and Amulek went forth preaching repentance to the people in their temples, and in their sanctuaries, and also in their synagogues, which were built after the manner of the Jews. And as many as would hear their words, unto them they did impart the word of God, without any respect of persons, continually. And thus did Alma and Amulek go forth, and also many more who had been chosen for the work, to preach the word throughout all the land. And the establishment of the church became general throughout the land, in all the region round about, among all the people of the Nephites. And there was no inequality among them; the Lord did pour out his Spirit on all the face of the land to prepare the minds of the children of humans, or to prepare their hearts to receive the word which should be taught among them at the time of his coming. #RandolphHarris 20 of 22

“That they might not be hardened against the word, that they might not be unbelieving, and go on to destruction, but that they might receive the word with joy, and as a branch be grafted into the true vine, that they might enter into the rest of the Lord their God. Now those priests who did go forth among the people did preach against all lyings, and deceivings, and envyings, and strifes, and malice, and revilings, and stealing, robbing, plundering, murdering, committing adultery, and all manner of lasciviousness, crying that these things ought not so to be—holding forth things which must shortly come; yea, holding forth the coming of the Son of God, his sufferings and death, and also the resurrection of the dead. And many of the people did inquire concerning the pace where the Son of God should come; and they were taught that he would appear unto them after his resurrection; and this the people did hear with great joy and gladness. And now after the church had been established throughout all the land—having got the victory over the devil, and the word of God being preached in its purity in all the land, and the Lord pouring out his blessing upon the people—thus ended the fourteenth year of the reign of the judges over the people of Nephi,” reports Alma 16.1-21. #RandolphHarris 21 of 22

Proceeding from strength to strength, and having finished the Divine Liturgy in Thy temple, we now entreat Thee, Lord our God, please vouchsafe us to enjoy Thy perfect love. Our God and God of our fathers, on this Festival of Joy and Gladness, our hearts are filled with gratitude to Thee. Recalling the redemption of Israel from Egyptian bondage, we pray, O Lord, that the day may soon dawn when all Thy children shall be free. Recalling this day of revelation of Thy Law on Sinai, we reaffirm our unswerving devotion to Thy Torah. We pray that Thine eternal Law shall guide the lives of all Thy children. Recalling of this Sukkot Festival Thy sheltering care of our forefathers, may we, too, be every grateful for Thy protecting love and bounty. Just as our forefathers laid their offerings on Thy altar in the Temple at Jerusalem on the Three Festivals, so may we, O God, with like devotion, help in the rebuilding and restoration of Zion. Grant that our homeless and exiled brothers and sisters may soon return to the land of our fathers, there to dwell in peace. And may the observance of this Festival quicken anew our faith in Thee and our loyalty to Thy commandments. Amen. #RandolphHarris 22 of 22

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God, that invisible power of your work has a remarkable effect of Thy Sacraments, and although we are unworthy to perform such great mysteries, you could give us your grace not to give up, and even answer our prayers favorably. My we keep you in our hearts, God Almighty and constantly seek you.

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Now, Here, You See, it Takes All the Running You Can Do, to Stay in the Same Place!

August 3, 2020 1:31 am

I never saw a moor, I never saw the sea; yet I know how the heather looks, and what a wave must be. Ah, the dilemmas of tipping: Should you? If so, how much—and when? There was a time when you tipped to show your appreciation for good service. Nowadays restaurants in particular automatically figure in potential tips when deciding what to pay their workers. This allows the restaurant to pay lower wages—and turns tips into an absolute necessity for those workers. In these cases, the only way to show special appreciation is to tip more than the expected amount. With other professions, such as furniture movers, the old concept still holes: They are getting paid a good salary to do their job, any tip you give is considered an expression of thanks for outstanding service. The same goes for any business that posts a tip jar on the counter; in these cases a tip is not necessary, an whether you decide to leave one or not is totally up to you. On the other hand, if you fail to tip when it is expected, you can be assured that the gesture will be perceived as being unfriendly—a message you probably do not want to send. Even in cases where the service is truly bad—for example, when your restaurant waiter is inattentive or rude—the wrong response is to leave a greatly reduced tip. #RandolphHarris 1 of 23

Leaving an unusually low tip for service that was not up to your standards does not accomplish anything other than annoying your server. If there is a real problem with someone’s service, leave a tip that is on the low end of usual—then make a point of taking up your complaint with that person’s manager or supervisor. Appropriate tips for business and professional services are an important area of consideration. For barbers, a tip of 15 to 20 percent is perfectly reasonable, but round up to the nearest dollar. The woman who cuts my hair charges sixty dollars, and I tip twenty dollars each time. It is easier, and she is worthy every penny. If you are in a fancy salon in which different people provide hair washing, shaving, and so on, give a tip of five or ten dollars to each service provider and a tip equal to 15 or 20 percent of the bill to the person who cute your hair. When the owner cuts your hair, that is usually a major compliment, and it is important for you to also show respect to them, especially as a gift during the holidays. Delivers are of extreme importance to many people at the point in our lives. A supermarket delivery person should receiver around at least five dollars per delivery, more as the number of bags and flights of stairs increase. Many delivery services are barely earning a profit. #RandolphHarris 2 of 23

Food deliverers usually get a tip equal to 15 percent of the bill because the delivery charge does to the owner. The tip should be at least five dollars for a pizza, and say five to ten dollars if the order is larger or the delivery involves several flights of stairs. Movers are another category to consider. The head mover gets one around one hundred dollars and crew members should get fifty dollars, depending on how much furniture is moved. If they also packed your belongings, the tip may increase. Garage attendants are very important as they are handling your beloved vehicle. At least consider giving them a ten-dollar tip to the parking lot attendant who brings your car to you when you pick it up. If you park your car in the garage, you may want to tip he attendants twenty dollars periodically to ensure prompt service, then offer a large tip at the holidays. For the municipal solid waste (refuse) and recyclables collector, hand out a twenty dollar per crew member tip at the holidays. If your service is municipal, check to be sure there is no regulation preventing gifts to crew members before offering them. For lawn care, if the gardener is polite and does not wake you and the entire neighbourhood up to the endless, disturbing, and obnoxiously loud sound of a leaf blower for hours on end every day, you can offer him or her a fifty-dollar time at the end of the season. #RandolphHarris 3 of 23

Grocery loaders sure can be a huge convince, if the loader helps you to your car with the normal number of bags, tip five dollars. If you have a large number of bags, consider a ten-dollar tip. Generally, you should tip your taxi drivers approximately 15 percent of the cost of the fare—but never less than two or thee dollars. For instance, 15 percent of a twelve-dollar fare comes to $1.80; in this case, it makes sense to round the tip up to an even two dollars. Private cars and limousines are an important item for many business people. If you get billed regularly by a car service, the best approach is to ask the company if a gratuity is included, in the fee. If not, ask the scheduler to add a 15-percent gratuity to the bill. This way everything is included, and you do not have to worry about fumbling for a tip when you arrive at your destination. If you are paying for the trip at the end of the ride, then tip the driver as you would for a taxi. Sometimes a car service ma be provided for you by a company or some other third party. In this case, offer the driver a five to ten-dollar tip at the end of the ride. It is a nice gesture on your part. In Washington D.C., I once had a car service at my disposal for an entire day. During my downtime between interviews, the driver took me to visit the Vietnam War Memorial, the Korean War Memorial, and several other sites around the Mall. I gave him an extra-large tip of three hundred and seventy-five dollars as a sign of my gratitude—even though someone else was paying the bill. #RandolphHarris 4 of 23

Tipping at restaurants is something we all want to do to make sure people know we come from good stock. For coatroom attendants, tip the attendant five dollars per coat when you pick up your garments—and add a few extra dollars if you also checked parcels, umbrellas, or hats. As for the washroom attendants—you will tend to see them much more in Europe than in the Untied States of America, though there is a recent trend toward having washroom attendants at restaurants in larger U.S. cities. You may want to consider tipping the attendant no less than five dollars. Often the washroom will have a plate with some money on it where you can leave a tip. Waiters and waitresses are very important people because they handle your food and make sure that you are enjoying the atmosphere in restaurant you are eating at. Eating at a restaurant is usually a treat or for a celebration. Tipping the waitstaff has changed from the traditional 15 percent. Today most people tip 20 percent, both out of generosity and because the math is easier. One important note: The tip is based on the cost of the meal before any taxes are added. If the waiter serves wine or any other drinks, then the cost of these beverages should be figured into the tip as well. However, most Americans are so generous, they even tip on top of the price after taxes are added in. #RandolphHarris 5 of 23

Waitstaff at a buffet-style restaurant should be left a 10-percent rather than 15-percent tip because they do not provide full service. Generally, bus staff are not tipped but receive a share of the pooled tips. Be careful to check the menu and your bill for any indication that gratuity has been added to the bill, especially for group of six more people. Usually you do not tip the restaurant maître d’ or host or hostess. The harsh truth is, tipping the maître d’ is not really likely to get you a good table. On the other hand, if you go to a certain restaurant often, you may want to tip the maître d’, host, or hostess ten to twenty dollars every once in a while to acknowledge their ongoing service and attention to your needs, if that is the case. As for the wine steward—if the restaurant has a wine steward who helps you select the wine and pour it for you, you should tip him or her the same percentage you will tip the waitstaff, usually 20 percent. I am often asked, “What if you buy a four hundred-dollar bottle of wine? Does it not seem a little excessive to tip the wine steward eighty dollars?” My response: If you can handle buying a four hundred-dollar bottle of wine, then you can handle an eighty-dollar tip for the wine steward. #RandolphHarris 6 of 23

You can either tip the wine steward in cash when he or she pours the last of the wine or you can list his or her tip separately and add it to the bill at the end of the meal. Remember, if you do tip the wine steward separately deduct the prince of the wine from the bill before figuring the tip for the waitstaff or you will end up tipping twice on the wine. Generally, bartenders are tipped 20 percent of the bar bill. If you are at a restaurant and have drinks while you are waiting for your table, you should leave a 20-percent tip for the bartender before being shown to your table. Remember: if you do not tip the bartender and the drinks are part of your total bill, mentally deduct the bar tab from the bill before figuring the tip. There are usually two different kinds of musicians in restaurants—those who play in the background and musicians who go from table to table like traveling minstrels. Musicians who play in the background, such as piano players, will usually have a brandy snifter or some other container for tips. As with all tip jars, the decision to tip in this case is entirely up to you. Musicians who travel from table to table should be tipped five dollars or ten when they visit your table plus five dollars for each request. Do not feel you have to wait for the musician to finish playing before tucking into your meals. You are there to enjoy your food, so feel free to eat while you are being served. #RandolphHarris 7 of 23

Valet parking sure is a nice convivence. It is appropriate to tip the parking attendant five to ten dollars when he or she brings you your car. In a large metropolitan area, the tip maybe as much as twenty dollars. Holiday tipping is a great way to show how grateful you are. Consider giving the newspaper delivery person twenty-dollar tip. Household help is essential for so many working adults in their busy daily lives. A cleaning person or a regular babysitter should generally be offered a monetary gift to the cost of one service, plus a small gift. For a babysitter, the gift can be from the child(ren). Usually, you do not tip household help on a weekly basis. If you hire a person to do a onetime cleaning, hen a 20-percent tip at the time of service is appropriate. Similarly, do not forget dog walkers and plant waters who also make your life easier throughout the year. Residential building employees can be a blessing. Superintendents should typically be given a tip of around fifty dollars if they help with deliveries, fix things, or carry heavy items for you—ranging down to twenty dollars or less if these services are not provided. The doorman is someone who is often overlooked, but always keeps an eye out of us. Give a holiday tip of around fifty dollars for a very helpful door-person and less for those you do not interact with regularly. #RandolphHarris 8 of 23

Elevator operators are a nice convivence. A ten- to twenty-dollar tip at the holiday season is an appropriate thank you for service throughout the year. If he or she does something special for you, tip at the time the service is given. For greeters you do not see—your building may have several different greeters working at times when you do no see them, yet they provide a valuable service just by being there and being available. If your building has several greeters, check to see if a tip pool has been set up by the building to share tips for the greeters. You can always give the greeters who you see often a little something extra. The same is true for other residential building personnel. Tipping when traveling is a special category. When I am simply unsure of how much to leave, I am uncomfortable tipping. This issue comes up most often when I am in countries other than the United States of America. I want to tip reasonably for the expectations of the country I am visiting, but I simply do not know what those expectations are. If you are raveling abroad, take the time to check online or read a good travel book on the region you are heading to—the good ones almost always include advice on tipping. They key is to pin down this information before you leave home, so you will know what is customary once you reach the place you are visiting. #RandolphHarris 9 of 23

On the cruise ship there will generally be provided a detailed gratuity schedule. Check with your cruise company or their Web site regarding this schedule before setting sail—then follow it. All of us at sometime or another have to fly. At the airport, skycaps should be tipped five dollars for one bag, and a few dollars for each additional bag. Wheelchair pushers and cart drivers can be tipped five to ten dollars. Airline ground personnel and flight attendants are not usually tipped. Motels and hotels can be a nice get away for many of us. If the bell person helps you with your baggage, tip five dollars and a few dollars for each additional bag. Any additional service, such as bringing you a package, should be tipped five dollars each time. If the greeter at the hotel helps you with your baggage, again tip five dollars and a few additional dollars per bag. If the greeter gets a cap for you, a tip of five dollars or more is appropriate, depending on the weather and how hard he or she had to work to get the cab. Room service is so vital when we are on vacation or a business trip. Tip 15 percent of the bill but never less than five dollars. Not that this is in addition to the hotel’s fee for providing room service. The only exception to this is if the hotel has already added both a room service fee and a gratuity on the room service receipt. #RandolphHarris 10 of 23

The Concierge: Generally, the concierge should be tipped at least ten dollars for arranging your reservation, and so on. If he or she has gone above and beyond the call of normal service, you can increase the amount. For example, tip 20 percent of the ticket price for hard-to-get theater tickets. Housekeeping is a great service for adults who are on the go. The housekeeping staff is often ignored in the tipping department. Yet they perform vital service, and saying “thank you” to them is as appropriate as it is for the concierge, greeter, or baggage handler. Depending on the hotel a tip of five to ten dollars a day is appropriate. It is best to leave it each day in an envelope or with a note marked “Housekeeping—thank you” as staff may change day to day. The impact of such a person on others may be the most memorable event of their lives or it may be the most trivial. That will depend on their own readiness to appreciate and estimate, their own capacity to absorb and receive. Take only the quality of one’s serenity, for instance, and imagine what it could mean to anyone thrown into contact with one during an important time in their lives. “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, not depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord,” reports Romans 8.38-39. #RandolphHarris 11 of 23

These well-known words of Paul express the Christian faith in divine Providence. They are the first and fundamental interpretation of the disturbing words in the gospel of Matthew, where Jesus commands us not to take any though about our life and food and clothing, and to seek first the Kingdom of God, for all of our daily life and needs are already known by God. We need such an interpretation. For there are a few articles of the Christian faith which are more important for the daily life of every man and woman, and there are few more open to misunderstanding and distortion. And such misunderstanding necessarily leads to a disillusionment which not only turns the hearts of humans away from God, but also creates a revolt against Him, against Christianity, and against religion. When I spoke to the soldiers between the battles of the last war, they expressed their denial of the Christian message in terms of an attack upon the belief in Providence—an attack which obviously drew its bitterness from fundamental disappointments. After reading a paper written by the great Einstein, in which he challenges the faith in a personal God, I concluded that there was no difference between his feeling and that of the unsophisticated soldier. The idea of God seemed to be impossible, because the reality of our World seems to be in opposition to the all-might power of a wise and righteous God. #RandolphHarris 12 of 23

Once, when I tried to interpret to a group of Christian and Jewish refugees the paradoxical character of the divine World-government in terms of Second Isaiah, a formerly eminent Jew from West Germany told me that he had received many cablegrams from Southern France informing him of the horrible story of the sudden evacuation, from Germany, of nearly ten thousand Jews of the age of ninety or more, and of their transportation to the concentration camps. He said that the thought of this unimaginable misery prevented him from being able to find meaning in even the most powerful message concerning the divine Providence. What answer shall we give, what answer can we give to such a crucial problem—a problem in which Christianity as a whole is at stake, a problem in which has nothing to do with a theoretical criticism of the idea of God, but rather which represents the anguish of the human heart which can no longer stand the power borne by the daemonic forces on Earth? Paul speaks of these forces. He knows them all: the horror of death and the anxiety of life; the irresistible strength of natural and historic powers; the ambiguity of the present and the inscrutable darkness of the future; the incalculable turns of fate from height to depth, and from depth to height; and the destruction of creature by creature. #RandolphHarris 13 of 23

Paul knows the forces all as well as we do, who have, in our period, rediscovered them, after a short time in which Providence and reality seemed to be a matter of fact. However, it never was, and never will be, a matter of fact. It is rather a matter of the most powerful, the most paradoxical, and the most venturing faith. Only as such has it meaning and truth. What is its content? It is certainly not a vague promise that, with the help of God, everything will come to a good end; there are many things that come to a bad end. And it is not the maintenance of hope in every situation; there are situations in which there can be no hope. Nor is it the anticipation of a period of history, in which divine Providence will be proved by human happiness and goodness; there is no generation in which divine Providence will be less paradoxical than it is in ours. However, the content of the faith in Providence is this; when death rains from Heaven as it does now, when cruelty wields power over nations and individuals as it does now, when hunger and persecution drive millions from place to place as they do now, and when prisons and slums all over the World distort the humanity of bodies and souls of humans as they do now—we can boast in that time, and just in that time, that even all of this cannot separate us from the love of God. #RandolphHarris 14 of 23

In this sense, and in this sense alone, all things work together for good, for the ultimate good, the eternal love, and the Kingdom of God. Faith in divine Providence is the faith that nothing can prevent us from fulfilling the ultimate meaning of our existence. Providence does not mean a divine planning by which everything is predetermined, as is an efficient machine. Rather, Providence means that there is a creative and saving possibility implied in every situation, which cannot be destroyed by any event. Providence means that the daemonic and destructive forces within ourselves and our World can never have an unbreakable grasp on us, and that the bond which connects us with the fulfilling love can never be disrupted. This love appears to us and is embodied in “Christ Jesus our Lord.” By adding this, Paul does no use a merely solemn phrase, as we often do when we use the words. He uses them, rather, after he has pointed to the only thing that can destroy our faith in Providence, which is our disbelief in the love of God, our distrust of God, our fear of His wrath, our hatred of his Presence, our conception of Him as a tyrant who condemns us, and our feeling of sins and guilt. It is not the depth of our suffering, but the depth of our faith in Providence. #RandolphHarris 15 of 23

Providence and the forgiveness of sins are not two separate aspects of the Christian faith; they are one and the same—the certainty that we can reach eternal life in spite of suffering and sin. Paul unites both words by saying, “Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ Jesus…who maketh intercessions for us,” and therefore, he continues, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or anguish, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? In all these things we are more than conquerors through one who loves us.” This is the faith in Providence, and this alone. “Now Alma, seeing that the words of Amulek had silenced Zeezrom, for he beheld that Amulek had caught him in his lying and deceiving to destroy him, and seeing that he began to tremble under a consciousness of his guilt, he opened his mouth and began to speak unto him, and to establish the words of Amulek, and to explain things beyond, or to unfold the scriptures beyond that which Amulek had done. Now the words that Alma spake unto Zeezrom were heard by the people round about; for the multitude was great, and he spake on this wise; now Zeezrom, seeing that thou hast been taken in thy lying and craftiness, for thou hast not lied unto humans only but thou hast lied unto God; for behold, he knows all thy thoughts, and thou seest that thy thoughts are made know unto us by his Spirit. #RandolphHarris 16 of 23

“And thou seest that we know that thy plan was a very subtle plan, as to the subtlety of the devil, for to lie and to deceive this people that thou mightest set them against us, to revile us and to cast us out—now this was a plan of thine adversary, and he hah exercised his power in thee. Now I would that ye should remember that what I say unto thee I say unto all. And behold I say unto you all that this was a snare of the adversary, which he has laid to catch this people, that he might bring you into subjection unto him, that he might chain you down to everlasting destruction, according to the power of his captivity. Now when Alma had spoken these words, Zeezrom began to tremble more exceedingly, for he was convinced more and more of the power of God; and he was also convinced that Alma and Amulek had a knowledge of him, for he was convinced that they knew the thoughts and intents of his heart; for power was given unto them that they might know of these things according to the spirit of prophecy. And Zeezrom began to inquire of them diligently, that he might know more concerning the kingdom of God. And he said unto Alma: What does this mean which Amulek hath spoken concerning he resurrection of the dead, that all shall rise from the dead, both the just and the unjust, and are brought to stand before God to be judged according to their works? #RandolphHarris 17 of 23

“And now Alma began to expound these things unto him, saying: It is given unto many to know the mysteries of God; nevertheless they are laid under a strict command that they shall not important only according to the proportion of his word which he doth grant unto the children of humans, according to the heed and diligence which they give unto him. And therefore, he that will harden his heart, the same recieveth the lesser portion of the word; and one that will not harden one’s heart, to one is given the greater portion of the word, until it is given unto one to know the mysteries of God until one know them in full. And they that will harden their hearts, to them is given the lesser portion of the word until they know nothing concerning his mysteries; and then they are taken captive by the devil, and led by his will down to destruction. Now this is what is meant by the chains of hell. And Amulek hath spoken plainly concerning death, and being raised from this morality to a state of immorality, and being brought before the bar of God, to be judged according to our works. Then if our hearts have been hardened our hearts against the word, insomuch that it has not been found in us, then will our state be awful, for then we shall be condemned. #RandolphHarris 18 of 23

“For our words will condemn us, yea, all our words will condemn us; we shall not be found spotless; and our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God; and we would fain be glad if we could command the rocks and the mountains to fall upon us to hide from his presence. However, this cannot be; we must come forth and stand before him in his glory, and in his power, and in his might, majesty, and dominion, and acknowledge to our everlasting shame that all his judgements are just; that he is just in all his works, and that he is merciful unto the children of humans, and that he has all power to save every human that believeth on his name and bringeth forth fruit meet for repentance. And now behold, I say unto you then cometh a death, even a second death, which is a spiritual death; then is a time that whosoever dieth in his sins, as to a temporal death, shall also die a spiritual death; yea, one shall die as to things pertaining unto righteousness. Then is the time when their torments shall be as a lake of fire and brimstone, whose flame ascendeth up forever and ever; and then is the time that they shall be chained down to an everlasting destruction, according to the power and captivity of Satan, he having subjected them according to his will. #RandolphHarris 19 of 23

“Then, I say unto you, they shall be as though there had been no redemption made; for they cannot be redeemed according to God’s justice; and they cannot die, seeing there is no more corruption. Now it came to pass that when Alma had made an end of speaking these words, the people began to be more astonished. However, there was one Antionah, who was a chief ruler among them, came forth and said unto him: What is this that thou hast said, that humans should rise from the dead and be changed from this mortal to an immortal state, that the soul can never die? What does the scripture mean, which saith that God placed cherubim and a flaming sword on the east of the garden of Eden, lest our first parents should enter and partake of the fruit of the tree of life, and live forever? And thus we see that there was no possible chance that they should live forever. Now Alma said unto him: This is the thing which I was about to explain. Now we see that Adam did fall by the partaking of the forbidden fruit, according to the word of God; and thus we see, that by his fall, all humankind became a lost and fallen people. And now behold, I say unto you that if it had been possible for Adam to have partaken of the fruit of the tree of life at that time there would have been no death, and the word would have been void, marking God a liar, for he said: If thou eat thou shalt surely die. #RandolphHarris 20 of 23

“And we see that death comes upon humankind, yes, the death which has been spoken of by Amulek, which is the temporal death; nevertheless there was a space granted unto humans in which he might repent therefore this life became a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God; a time to prepare for that endless state which has been spoken of by us, which is after the resurrection of the dead. Now, if it had not been for the plan of redemption, which was laid from the foundation of the World, there could have been no resurrection of the dead; but there was a plan of redemption laid, which shall bring to pass the resurrection of the dead, of which has been spoken. And now behold, if it were possible that our first parents could have gone forth and partaken of the tree of life they would have been forever miserable, having no preparatory state; and thus the plan of redemption would have been frustrated, and the word of God would have been void, taking none effect. However, behold, it was not so; but it was appointed unto humans that they must die; and after death, they must die; and after death, they must come to judgment, even that same judgment of which we have spoken, which is the end. And after God had appointed that these things should come unto humans, behold, then he saw that it was expedient that humans should know concerning the things whereof he had appointed unto them; therefore he sent angels to converse with them, who caused humans o behold of his glory. #RandolphHarris 21 of 23

“And they began from that time forth to call on his name; therefore God conversed with humans, and made known unto them the plan of redemption, which had been prepared from the foundation of the World; and this he made known unto the according to their faith and repentance and their holy works. Wherefore, he gave commandments unto men, they having firs transgressed the first commandments as to the things which were temporal, and becoming as gods, knowing good from evil, placing themselves in a state to ac, or being placed in a state to act according to their wills and pleasures, whether to do evil or to do good—therefore God gave unto them commandments, after having made known unto them the plan of redemption, that they should not do evil, the penalty thereof being a second death, which was an everlasting death as to things pertaining unto righteousness; for on such the plan of redemption could have no power, for the words of justice could no be destroyed, according to the supreme goodness of God. However, God did call on humans, in the name of his Son, (this being the plan of redemption which was laid) saying: If ye will repent, and harden not your hearts, then I will have mercy upon you, through mine Only Begotten Son. #RandolphHarris 22 of 23

“Therefore, whosoever repenteth, and hardeneth not one’s heart, one shall have claim on mercy through mine Only Begotten Son, unto a remission of his sins and these shall enter into my rest. An now, my brethren, behold I say unto you, that if ye will harden your hearts ye shall not enter into the rest of the Lord; therefore your iniquity provoketh him he sendeth down his wrath upon you as in the first provocation, yea, according to his word in the last provocation as well as the first, to the everlasting destruction of your souls; therefore, according to his word, unto the last death, as well as the firs. And now, my brethren, seeing we know these things, and they are true, let us repent, and harden not our hearts, that we provoke not the Lord our God to pull down his wrath upon us in these his second commandments which he has given unto us; but let us enter into the rest of God, which is prepared according to his word,” reports Alma 12.1-37. O God, Almighty Father, bless and sanctify this sacrifice that you offered to the honor and the glory of thy name; and pardon the sins of Thy people, and give ear to my prayer, Lord, and forgive me all my sins. Through Christ our Lord. #RandolphHarris 23 of 23

Winchester Mystery House

This rare view from Mrs. Winchester’s Gardens shows the estate sometime before the 1906 earthquake – notice the seven-story tower, and the lack of a door-to-nowhere. Why do you think Sarah added the door-to-nowhere?
Open today from 10AM-4PM, and again from 8PM-11PM!

Winchester Mystery House

A 160-room mansion built to appease the spirits who died at the hands of the Winchester Rifle 👻
🗝

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38 years of constant construction, and a whole lot of oddities. • 24,000 square feet
• 10,000 windows
• 2,000 doors
• 160 rooms
• 52 skylights
• 47 stairways and fireplaces
• 17 chimneys
• 13 bathrooms
• 6 kitchens

Want to own your own copy of the Winchester mansion?

BRIGHTON STATION AT CRESLEIGH RANCH

Rancho Cordova, CA |

Now Selling!

Residence Three at Brighton Station boasts 2,757 square feet in this expansive two story home. There are four bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms, and a three car garage!

The kitchen comes fully equipped with a large eat-in island, stainless steel appliances, quartz counters, and large walk in pantry. The openness in the design allows the Great Room and kitchen to interact with each other seamlessly. This home comes with an en suite bedroom on the first floor making it ideal for guests, or multi-generational living.

Best of all, each Cresleigh home comes fully equipped with an All Ready connected home! This smart home package comes included with your home and features great tools including: video door bell and digital deadbolt for the front door, connect home hub so you can set scenes and routines to make life just a little easier. Two smart switches and USB outlets are also included, plus we’ll gift you a Google Home Hub and Google Mini to help connect everything together! https://cresleigh.com/brighton-station/residence-3/

Randolph Harris II International Institute

Category Archives: Special Events

Now, Here, You See, it Takes All the Running You Can Do, to Stay in the Same Place!

Winchester Mystery House

BRIGHTON STATION AT CRESLEIGH RANCH

Rancho Cordova, CA |

Now Selling!

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