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People Who Excel in Life Tend to be Emotionally Intelligent

It is God’s will that we be free men and women enabled to rise to our full potential both temporally and spiritually. People who excel in life tend to be emotionally intelligent.  The recipe for handling relationships smoothly is to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way. Indeed, the costs of poor emotional skills can be high. They range from problems in marriage and parenting to poor physical health. A lack of emotional intelligence (self-control, self-awareness, sensitivity to the feelings of others, persistence, and self-motivation) can ruin careers and sabotage achievement. Perhaps the greatest toll falls on children and teenagers. For them, poor emotional skills can contribute to depression, eating disorders, unexpected pregnancy, aggression, and violent crime. We should promote emotional competence as well as intellectual skills. The result would be greater self-control, altruism, and compassion—all basic capacities needed if our society is to thrive. What means does civilization employ in order to inhibit the aggressiveness which it opposes it, to make it harmless, to get rid of it, perhaps? We have already become acquainted with a few of these methods, but not yet with the one that appears to be most important. #RandolphHarris 1 of 11

What happens in an individual to render his or her desire for aggression innocuous? Civilization obtains mastery over the individual’s dangerous desire for aggression by weakening and disarming it and by setting up an agency within one to understand why they feel the way they feel. The tension people feel in jealousy may be that of much greater Worlds colliding than can be seen by looking only at our personal situations. Its pain comes, at least in part, from opening up to unexplored territory and letting go of old familiar truths in the face of unknown and threatening new possibilities. It is not unusual for a jealous person to feel so altruistic and reasonable about one’s own life, so clean of the vice of selfishness, that one finds the loved one self-serving. Many people experience jealousy because the soul wants complete openness and freedom. That leaves a sense of order and limit in the darkness of repression, where it stirs and becomes wild and unreasonable, and potentially violent. It also may be time for one to reevaluate one’s beliefs. People who feel rage and suspicious call for some kind of adjustment and reflection. To begin with, if we ask how a person comes to have a sense of guilt after unjustifiably hurting another person, we arrive at an answer which cannot be disputed: a person feels guilty (maybe even sinful) when he or she has done something bad. #RandolphHarris 2 of 11

When your jealousy, with or without your conscious consent, is setting limits on your life it is because your jealousy is drawing out a strange cast of characters—the moralist, the detective, the paranoid, the archconservative. People often feel jealous because they assume that something threatening and dangerous is near. They believe that they are hard on the trail of facts, but they behave as if they do not know any details. Then aggressiveness is introjected, internalized. It expresses itself as a need for punishment. Since a person’s own feelings would not have led one along this path, one must have had a motive for submitting to this extraneous influence. Such a motive is easily discovered in one’s helplessness and one’s dependence on other people, and it can best be designated as fear of loss of love. If one losses the love of another person upon whom one is dependent, one also ceases to be protected from a variety of dangers. Above all, the individual feels they are exposed to the danger that this stronger person will show his or her superiority in the form of punishment. At the beginning, therefore, what is bad is whatever causes one to be threatened with the loss of love. For fear of that loss, one must avoid it. #RandolphHarris 3 of 11

Feelings of violence can show how slit off one is from the power of one’s knowledge. Blinded by a cloud of innocence, people seem not to know their friend or oneself or the complexity of relationships in general. They plead for simple attention and care. When one does not get these things, one feels controlled and toyed with. Then, in place of a more genuine power, violent rage pours out of the individual. The paranoid element in one’s jealousy both keeps the possibility of deeper knowledge within reach, but also dissociates itself from will and intentionality. It makes little difference whether one has already done the bad things or only intends to do it. In either cause the danger only sets in if and when the individual discovers it. This state of mind is called a bad conscience; but actually it does not deserve this name, for at this stage the sense of guilt is clearly only a fear of loss of love, social anxiety. Consequently, such people habitually allow themselves to do any bad things which promises them enjoyment, so long as they are sure that the authority will not know anything about it or cannot blame them for it; they are afraid only of being found out. For instance, when people vandalize cars of someone they are jealous of, they usually do so when they know people are in deep sleeps so they will not be held accountable for their crimes. #RandolphHarris 4 of 11

The obsessive side of jealousy seems in part to be a function of its hiddenness, arising when it is not being revealed and given place. When jealous feelings and images penetrate the heart and mind, a kind of initiation takes place. Their souls become profoundly disturbed. Sometimes people also become jealous of other person, who they do not know, because some people might appear to have a lot of talent, or be an insanely inspired artist or seem to possess the power of a politician graced with the charisma that might make him or her a World leader. How can anyone compete with a person who has desire of cosmic proportions without always feeling threatened? They become fitful, outrageously infuriated, betrayed, and offended. If one did not become jealous, they feel that too many events would take place, too much life would be lived, too many connections would be made. Therefore, jealousy serves the soul by pressing for limits on an individual one does not have control over, but deeply desires to control or possess their absolute beauty and fulfilling absolute power. From the jealousy person’s point of view, not only is their possessiveness right, it is required that one be outraged. This serves to compensate for a sense of union that does not exist or is not terribly deep. #RandolphHarris 5 of 11

When a jealousy person’s feelings come upon them, they feel alien and do not know what to do with them. When some part of one longs for more experience, new people, and starting over, jealousy remembers attachment and feels the unending pain of separation and divorces. These types of people become tormented by jealousy. They sense tension between attachment to what is and the promise of a new passion. How does one care for the soul when it is presenting itself through jealousy? Can we perceive that the soul wants when it wrenches us with longing for what another person has? Jealousy can be consuming. It can crowd out every other thought and emotion with its pungency. It can make a person distracted, touched, aching for the life, position, and possession of others. My neighbors have happiness, money, success, children—why do I not? My friend has a great career, good looks, luck—what is wrong with me? There may be a good dose of self-pity in jealousy, but it is the longing that is so bitter. Jealousy eats away at the heart, soul, and mind. It has a corrosive power. In jealousy, desire and self-denial work together to create characteristic sense of frustration and obsessiveness. #RandolphHarris 6 of 11

The jealous person thinks he or she is the victim of bad fortune it also involves strong willfulness in the form of resistance to fate and character. When misfortune befalls an individual, one must search one’s soul, acknowledge sinfulness, heighten the demands of one’s conscience, impose abstinences on oneself and they often punish themselves with penances.  Whole people have behaved in this way and still do. Fate is regarded as a substitute for the parental agency. If any person’s unfortunate it, they sometimes take it to mean that they are no longer loved by their higher power; and threatened by such a loss of love, they become more conservative, and no longer neglect their religion. However, a person with a jealous nature fights fervently against the deal fate has handed them. They feel deprived and cheated. Because jealous people are so out of touch with the potential value of his or her own fate, one has elaborate fantasies about others being blessed with good fortune that belongs to them. The point of caring for the envious soul is not to get rid of the jealousy, but to be guided back by it into one’s own fate. The pain in jealousy is like pain in the body: it makes one stop and take notice of something that has gone wrong and needs attention. Jealous people simply fail to see the necessity and value in their own lives. #RandolphHarris 7 of 11

When things turn bad, there is a tendency to blame others or even God. Sometimes a sense of entitlement arises, and individuals or groups try to shift their responsibility to others. Some people allow their jealousy to allow them to have a preoccupation with the lives of others and then neglect their own. Their angry explanations for their misfortune distract them from the pain of their past and dealing with it productively. Symptoms are often obviously painful, but at the same time they may protect against a deeper pain associated with awareness and facing the fundamental realities of fate. It is through their jealousy that they suck all that pain into itself and in an odd way keeps them from owning their past. The problem is not the individual’s ability to have a good life, it is his or her capacity not to have one. Jealous people need to be taught to care for their soul. If in jealousy the person wishes life were better, then maybe it is a good idea to feel that emptiness deeply. People must take more responsibility for their situations, and over time eventually improve it. And it is important to be honest with oneself. In jealousy, fantasies are potent and utterly captivating, yet floating in an atmosphere somehow removed from actual life. These fantasies are illusions, images kept at bay so they cannot touch life directly. Dwelling in an imaginary life is a way of avoiding soul. #RandolphHarris 8 of 11

Jealousy is resistance to reason. If a jealous person is met with a misfortune or denial of a desire, they do not throw the blame on oneself, but on one’s fetish, which has obviously not done its duty, and one gives it a thrashing instead of punishing oneself. When one has a sense of guilt after having committed a misdeed, and because of it, the feeling should more properly be called remorse. It relates only to a deed that has been done, and, of course, it presupposes that a conscience—the readiness to feel guilty—was already in existence before the deed took place. Remorse of this sort can, therefore, never help one to discover the origin of conscience and of the sense of guilt in general. What happens in these everyday cases is usually this: an instinctual need acquires the strength to achieve satisfaction in spite of the conscience, which is, after all, limited in its strength; and with the natural weakening of the need owning to it having been satisfied, the former balance of power is restored. The task is to care for the soul, but it is also true that the soul cares for us. #RandolphHarris 9 of 11

We must do our best to honor whatever the soul presents to us. It suffering can only be relieved by the reestablishment of the will placed on us by the Heavenly Powers. And we may well heave a sigh of relief at the thought that it is nevertheless vouchsafed to a few to salvage without effort from the whirlpool of their own feelings the deepest truths, toward which the rest of us have to find our way through tormenting uncertainty and with restless groping. God wishes only good for everyone. We are all rooted in pure spirit, in perfect life, and at any moment we can so unify ourselves with the power of good that evil will disappear from our experience. We have to live each day as though all the joy there is in the Universe were ours now. And we have to live each day as though all the joy we ever expect to experience were ours now. If we make every day a day of praise and thanksgiving, a day in which we recognize the divine bounty and the eternal goodness, and if we live today as though God were the only presence and the only power there is, we would not have to worry about tomorrow. We are all human and have all made mistakes. The starting point for creating a better future for ourselves is to deliberately free our minds from the mistakes of the past and feel they no longer be held against us; they need no longer be a liability. #RandolphHarris 10 of 11

 

Suppose we have had a deep sense of animosity toward others and because of this we find that we are not meeting people in the right spirit; they, naturally, respond to us the way we meet them, and out whole set of human relations is out of harmony. We cannot go back over the past and relive it. We cannot make adjustments in the past. We have to make them in the present. It is not going to do us any good to sit around and cry over the past and bemoan our fate, because in the very day in which we are living we are creating our future, which will become monotonous repetitions of the past. The one who is suffering from one’s past mistakes of resentment and animosity merely turns quietly to oneself and prays: I have decided to change al this. I want to like people and I want them to like me. I want to get along happily with others. I forgive myself for everything that has happened up until now. I lose it and let it go. I not only forgive myself, I forgive everyone who I feel has held anything against me. I forgive and I am forgiven. Furthermore, the power of the Universe conspires to help us. We should feel that we live in an eternal presence of pure spirit whose whole purpose is good, whose whole desire is constructive, and whose whole feeling toward us is one of love and compassion. #RandolphHarris 11 of 11

 

Undergo Whatever Fate is Asking of the Soul

If we want Sunshine, step out into the Sunshine. A deepening of consciousness sometimes requires a strong move in life. Sometimes living on our own could be a way of getting to know more precisely what our souls are searching form. Love finds its soul in its feelings of incompleteness, impossibility, and imperfection. There was once an Angel who came to visit Earth. He found himself in the usual stream of human activities and found himself fascinated with the television. As he watched the news for the first time, he heard negative comments. Some of these news anchors who were supposed to be an authority called religion a mental illness and said that there might be a way and human life would be destroyed. The news reporters also went on to say that there would be a great epidemic of illness, and that financial hardships were certain to limit us all. He heard that there was not enough food, water, and housing to go around, and that people were going to die as a result. He felt like he needed to take a bath in holy water to rid himself of the negativity from the news. The Angel began to wonder if these things might not be true, and even as he entertained the thoughts of negation to which he was listening, the brightness of his angelic presence faded into dark shadows. His form seemed to shrivel, and looking at himself he saw that he was dressed as a human being, walking the Earth in fear, doubt, and uncertainty. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7

And so the weary years went by, years of unhappiness and impoverishment and dread, years so filled with stress that he wished her were dead, and that some oblivion might forever swallow him up. And yet, even in the midst of all this, something within him remembered that he was once an Angel of God, living in a Heaven of beauty and a place of peace and joy, living in a garden of Eden which God has provided for him. And, remembering, a determination arose within him to somehow or other find his way back to this lost paradise. Hunger and love are two things that motivate the World. Hunger could be taken to represent the instincts which aim at preserving the individual; while love strives after objects, and its chief function, favoured in every way by nature, is the preservation of the species. This situation shows that there is something about him that is superior to the experience he is having. This determination grew into a great faith, and as his faith was renewed, a light seemed to shine in the distance; and he had the courage to travel toward the light. As he did, a miracle gradually took place. The Angel found that the shadows were being cast behind him, until finally he so completely entered into the light that no shadows were cast at all, and he started to awaken to the reality of God. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7

We must undergo whatever fate is asking of the soul. We think we know what love is about, both theoretically and in an episode of life, but love sometimes leans toward the mysterious dark niches of the soul’s underworld. Life takes us to the edge of what we know and have experienced, and this we are willing to assent to love and freely awaken out of sleep. So let us wake up, and let us be certain that we no longer drug ourselves with the sleeping potion of fear and uncertainty and doubt, but awake into faith and confidence, into peace and joy, into love and happiness. For there is something in us too, like the Angel in the fable, that have never forgotten. There is a silent witness at the center of every human’s being which evermore proclaims: One of the strongest needs of the soul is for community. The Soul yearns for attachment, for variety in personality, for intimacy and particularity. So these qualities in community that the soul seeks out. “Pray unto the Father in Heaven with all the energy of heart, that you may be filled with this love, which he has bestowed upon all (Moroni 7.48).” We must be with others, enjoy them and act with them, without in any way seeking to control their actions. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7

There are many signs in our society that we lack a sufficiently deep experience in community. There is the energetic search for a community. No one can live to oneself alone. Other people are so much a part of our lives that we cannot think of living without them. People who feel themselves excluded from society may just need a little encouragement and support. Loneliness is a major complaint and is responsible for deep-seated emotional pain that leads to despair and a consideration of not wanting to live. It is wonderful to be around people and it is a pleasure to be surrounded by friends. Community is a group pf people held together by feelings of belonging, and those feelings are the attitude of the well-adjusted person, one who has been permitted to be an individual, but who has also learned to cooperate with others. It is a fortunate child who is born into a community that understand this and that gives the child as much freedom as possible, while at the same time teaching the individual to cooperate with others who are good and trustworthy. We must succeed in obtaining the clearest insight into God’s nature and relation to us, as the one guardian of life is love, but to be loved we must love. This is the new birth that comes through a new outlook on life, a new way of thinking, a new sense of our relationship to our environment, to the people around us, to ourselves, and to God. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7

However, a person oppressed by loneliness can go out into the World and simply start belonging to it, not by joining organizations, but by living through feelings of relatedness—to other people, to nature, to society, to the World as a whole. Relatedness is a signal of soul. By allowing the sometimes vulnerable feelings of relatedness, soul pours into life and does not have to insist on itself symptomatically. We know that the psychological, emotional, and mental readjustments which are necessary to our well-being will be made if we experience this firm faith that all people live in God, and we must have a deep realization that we are all one in this Universal spirit which is God. If we have ourselves locked away in a dark closet, why not come out into the light? If we really have been feeling that everything is against us and no one really cares for us, know that God is in everyone, and meet the God in others and see what happens. I can love anyone I meet and be loved in return. The foundation of community is immeasurably deep, and the process of belonging, dealing actively with loneliness, begins in the depths of the soul. Love keeps the soul on the track of its fate and keeps consciousness at the edge of the abyss of the infinity that is the range of the soul. Forgive yourself and everyone else for everything that has ever happened. Try to feel that everyone is doing the best they can. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7

Some people do not like their jobs because there never seems to be completion and satisfaction, but they keep going to fulfill those aspirations. Find God in yourself because blessed are they that do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. Knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Seek, and you shall find. Love must go forth and meet love. All people are rooted in God, and it is the only being as we go down to the roots of our beings that we unify with others in spirit and truth. Manifestation of God is the force of life itself and is the fountain of love that keeps the soul alive and full. There is no way toward divine love expect through the discovery of human intimacy and community. One feeds the other. Care of the soul, then requires an openness to love’s many forms. Because we are one with God, we are one with all people, and that allows us to feel our union with people and nature. We feel that we belong to life, love life, and into the joy of living. We enter into companionship and cooperation with them. And there is something within us that reaches out and embraces the whole World. Something within the core of our being blesses everything we touch, brings life and happiness and joy to everyone. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7

Do not let your life be full of regrets of the past. As our trust in God grows, we open our hearts, seeking to do his will, and waiting for answers that will help us understand. Know that we have something inside of us that acts as a healing force, restoring everything to its natural and native perfection. In time and by degrees, we receive God’s gracious strength and direction. As we silently listen to the spirit within us and think of its perfection, we know that we are born again—born into joy and hope and gladness, born into love and faith and assurance. Silently, release every negative thought from your mind. With a growing understanding of the Lord’s grace and mercy, we will find that our self-willed hearts begin to accept gratitude. We will receive new hope and fresh guidance through the Holy Ghost. God’s way is the path that leads to happiness in this life and eternal life in the World to come. Some may thing they have failed too many times and feel too weak to change sinful acts or Worldly desires of the heart. However, if we earnestly appeal to God, he takes us as we are—and makes us more than we ever imagined. Truly dedicated to the Savior, we can say with confidence that it will work out. I pray that we will focus on the simplicity that is in Christ and allow his grace to lift and carry us. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7

God Never Made a Promise that was too Good to be True!

My Love is something valuable to much which I ought not to throw away without reflection. It imposes duties on me for whose fulfillment I must be ready to make sacrifices. If I love someone, he or she must deserve it in some way. Love is one of the most powerful of human impulses. My love is valued by all my own people as a sign of my preferring them, and it is an injustice to them if I put a stranger on part with them. In order to appreciate the mystery of love, we have to give up the idea that love is a psychological problem and that with enough understanding and guidance we can finally do it right, without illusion and folly. Granted that loyalty is whole hearted devotion to an object of some kind, what kind of thing is this object? Is it an abstract entity, such as an idea or collective being? Or is it a person or group of persons? The idealist contends that loyalty is the willing and practical and thoroughgoing devotion to a person to a cause. Its object is a cause beyond your private self, greater than you are, it is impersonal and superpersonal. As a cause it is something that transcends the individual, an eternal reality. Apart from familiar metaphysical and logical objections to this concept of a superpersonal reality, this view has the ethical defect of postulating duties over and above our duties to individual people and groups of people. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6

The individual is submerged and lost in this superperson not only ontologically but also morally, for it tends to dissolve our specific duties and obligations to others into a superhuman good. Loyalty is a component of love and there are a range of emotions, giving us strong images of the saturation of the soul. God, being rational, will ordain what is good, but what God ordains is good in its own nature, not because God ordains it. Innate knowledge (notitia innata) is cognition through self-presence and belongs to the very essence of the soul; acquired knowledge (notitia illata) is the soul’s cognition of external things. Innate knowledge is superior to, and more certain than, acquired knowledge; for the soul cannot be mistaken about what belongs to its nature. Knowledge of the external World can be obtained either by intuition or by abstraction. By intuition one grasps a thing immediately in its concrete reality, so that nothing immediately in its concrete reality, so that nothing of the object escapes the penetrating and all-embracing act of the intellect. God knows all our thoughts, and they are made known by his spirit. The manifestation of love, charity personified, comes through the grace of Christ himself. May the joy of our fidelity to the highest and best within us be ours as we keep our love and our marriages, our society and our souls, as pure as they were meant to be.  #RandolphHarris 2 of 6

Each individual is a unique institution in the Universe. Care of the soul is to recognize the necessity of love and loyalty. We can find some hints of how to care for the soul in times of love. Loyalty is a virtue that hold less of reason, than of bigotry and superstition. Loyalty is taken to refer to a relationship between persons—for instance, between a lord and his vassal, between a parent and his or her children, or between friends. Thus, the object of loyalty is ordinarily taken to be a person or group of persons. Loyalty is conceived as interpersonal, and it is also always specific; a person is loyal to their lord, their parents, or his or her comrades. When love is in control, the elements form compounds out of which arise more complex units, and eventually, animate beings. It is a door that opens out from the human reason into divine mystery. When we reflect on the tragedies of our own loves, when we slowly find our way through their miseries, we are being initiated into the mysterious ways of the soul. Love is the means of entry and our guide. There is a doorway or an entrance through which the mind must pass on its way to spiritual realization, and that door can be opened by none but the one who is to enter. Every person must discover God in one’s own way, but always within oneself. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6

Now there are many approaches to the door, and no doubt many entrances to the door way to God. Every great spiritual leader has found a door through which God has entered. As we study the spiritual systems of the ages we discover that, though the approach has been varied, the temple of the spirit is one. God is all there is, and there is none beside him. This statement includes everything. In all the kingdoms that exist, in all the planes that exist, and deep within the self, hidden and yet felt, there is a High Priest ready to conduct us to the sacred and secret chamber of the self, where God and humans are one. The search for union passes into the realization, not that we are just with or in, but that we are of God. Love keeps us on the labyrinthine path. If we can honor love as it presents itself, taking shapes and directions we never have predicted or desired, then we are on the way toward discovering the lower levels of soul, where meaning and value reveal themselves slowly and paradoxically. There we are sailing trustingly toward fate, while plucking the strings of our own resources. Many have found entrance to this door through deep spiritual prayers, some through high inspirational enlightenment. True love and loyalty endure. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6

Righteous love and truth are never shaken. True love must include the idea of permanence. Love makes us instinctively reach out to Go and other people. Love comes with open hands and open heart. Since life cannot be lost, the whole purpose of our study is not for the salvation of the individual life, but the discovery of the self which the scripture tells us is hid with Christ in God. We have studied our techniques and we have come to understand something about how the science of mind works and how to use it, what to do and why. The opening of the door to the temple often calls for patience and waiting, painstaking and watchful prayer, for continual communion with God will allow us to discover knowledge of the divine. We have a need for perfection—this is, the fulfillment of both our intellectual and our emotional powers, which indeed are not existentially separate. The more adequate an idea, the more it is pleasing, liberating, and intrinsically human. The culmination of the ethical life—that is, the life devoted to freedom of the intellect—is found in the intellectual love of God. One must lose oneself in order to find oneself, but in so doing, one finds that what one had really discovered is God. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6

Are we dreaming of success or failure? Of happiness or misery? Of aliments or Health? Our dreams are mental patterns that can lead us into a fuller and richer life, or can create phantom monsters that makes out lives a nightmare, whether we are asleep or awake. Dreams have meaning and psychic value, we must nevertheless allow for the possibility that this meaning may not be the same in every dream. One dream may have consideration of the fulfillment of a wish; another may turn out to be the realization of an apprehension; another may have a reflection as its content; other dreams may simply reproduce a reminiscence. Every person is the dreamer of one’s own dreams, and within each is the spiritual power to choose the patterns that one wishes to experience in life. You may be in pain today. Maybe you have suffered a loss, been through a disappointment. That is not the end. God still has a plan. Do not sit around nursing your wounds. Do not let bitterness and discouragement set the tone for your life. When you become weary and feel like quitting, there is a way to have your strength renewed—wait on the Lord. God wants us to arise. Wipe away the tears and take control of your life. God promises to make the rest of your life the best of your life. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6

My Master, the Spy

 

Sometimes stereotypes are creations of an entire society or nation, and they perform the function of building up the national feeling through putting down another nation or group. Such behavior is not really intentional cruelty, ignorance, or hostility to the other groups or nations, though it certainly may be unenlightened or narrow-minded. What is your test now will become your testimony.  Let go of the discouragement, self-pity and get ready for God to do something new. Those advisories, annoying and harassing you are about to meet their ends. However, in the process, they have thrusted you forward into the fullness of your destiny.  Experiments have taught us if practical experience has not already done so, that the improbable does occur, and that our picture of the World only tallies with reality when the improbably has a place in it. What guarantee is there that the five senses, taken together, do cover the whole of possible experience? They cover simply our actual experience, our human knowledge of facts or events. There are gaps between the fingers; there are gaps between the sense. In these gaps is the darkness which hides the connection between things. This darkness is the source of our vague fears and anxieties, but also the home of the Gods. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6

The Gods alone see the connections, the total relevance of everything that happens; that which now comes to us in bits and pieces, the accidents which exist only in our heads, in our limited perceptions. In the political realm, a number of investigators, seeking to understand how personality factors might bear upon such behavior as political power-seeking among aspiring leaders, have turned their attention to the self-concept as an explanatory variable. Some of the more prominent explanations of the striving for political power can be traced to ideas on compensation for feelings of inferiority. An individual afflicted with organ inferiority may seek to compensate for his or her deficiencies in order to overcome one’s low feelings of self-worth. Demosthenes was a Greek statesman and orator of ancient Athens. As a boy, Demosthenes stuttered: in order to overcome this stuttering, he placed pebbles in his mouth and sought to shout down the waves. In another example, Napoleon’s drive for power was reported to stem from inferiority feelings about his diminutive stature. Power seekers pursue power as a means of compensation against low estimates of the self. However, low self-esteem may also be at the root of political apathy, since overwhelmingly low self-esteem might cause the individual to withdraw from the political arena entirely. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6

Similarly, political apathy might stem from the fact that the individual is so exhausted by one’s inner conflict that one has no interest or energy left for public affairs. Research findings are consistent in showing that people with low self-esteem are in general more likely to be politically apathetic. One large scale study of high school juniors and seniors showed that youngsters with low self-esteem were less likely to express interest in national or international affairs, to pay attention to political matters in the media, to have much political knowledge, and to be political opinion leaders. Furthermore, even those low self-esteem students who were politically interested were less likely to discuss politics, more likely to feel personally threatened by political discussion, less confident that other people would pay much attention to their political views, and more self-conscious about presenting their political ideas to other people. These low self-esteem youngsters were also more likely to report that they were distracted from public affairs by concern with their personal problems. However, keep in mind that there are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect. Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right. Courage is a door that can only be opened from the inside. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6

Personality will affect political attitudes of youngsters only if they are politically involved, the relationship of self-esteem to political attitudes controlling on political interest. In virtually every case, the relationship of self-esteem to political attitudes is stronger if political involvement is higher than if it is low. Furthermore, among those adolescents who were highly interested in political issues, those with high self-esteem are more likely to be knowledgeable about political figures, to have a better understanding of these essentials of democracy, to be less cynical about politics, and to feel more politically efficacious. These findings persisted when grade, gender, socioeconomic status, and intelligence were controlled. Those with low self-esteem, on the other hand, were more likely to support political protest activities. Qualitative research among adults has added to our understanding of how self-concepts—especially self-esteem—may influence political apathy or participation. One study showed that some adults were afraid to express political opinions for fear of making fools of themselves. Lacking confidence in their own knowledge and ability, these people retreated from political. However, low political participation also appeared to be fostered by a more fundamental and deep-rooted feeling of inefficacy and insignificance. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6

Some people feel that they do not matter, that they make little difference in the broader scheme of things. These people expressed the idea that they were politically unimportant—an ordinary person, an average individual, a little person. Nothing they can do will make much political difference because the forces that control the World, including the political forces, were outside their control; political impotence formed the basis of political apathy. Apathy, of course, is not the only possible outcome of such an attitude. One reason many Germans were attracted to Hitler was that (like the American subjects described above) they felt ineffectual, impotent, and insignificant in the broader scheme of things. For this reason they attached themselves to a powerful political leader, who not only promised them national glory and, thereby, personal self-esteem, but also preached a doctrine asserting their inherent superiority to all others peoples. There are many other ways in which the self-concept has been show to be related to political orientations. People with low self-esteem are more likely to be chauvinistic, ethnocentric, and politically cynical, and to be low on democratic commitment. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6

There is also evidence that (among isolationists), those with low self-esteem are more likely to oppose social change, to believe in tradition and social order, to support a position of elitism, and to hold extreme political beliefs. In general, people with low self-esteem tend to hold political solutions of any political persuasion that makes their confused environments intelligible, orderly, and purposive. Other studies have also examined self-esteem among elected officials. However, self-esteem is not the only self-concept motive implicated in political behavior; self-consistency also plays a role. The study of adults found that some people avoided political activity on grounds of role self-concept incongruence. The individual’s view of oneself did not match the individual’s view of the qualities of a political activist. The political activist was seen as energetic, forceful, and dynamic, whereas the individual saw oneself or herself as passive and receptive. This lack of role-person fit was a deterrent to political participation. It is plain that the way one thinks about the self influences the way one thinks about the World, including the World pf politics. The political institution, like any other, is a realm of action, and whenever people act, their self-concepts are implicated. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6

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The No-Harm Charm

 

Having an optimistic mental attitude and high self-esteem can literally double the chances of career success. We have been primarily concerned with the self-concept as a social product. The fundamental questions addressed has been: how do social conditions or experiences—social interaction, social structure, social contexts—shape the individual’s self-concept? However, the self-concept may also be examined as a social force. The question is: how does the self-concept influence behavior in major institutional areas? Before addressing this question, it is relevant to say a word about the personal consequences of the self-concept. Even if the self-concept had no bearing on society, it would still be important if it influenced people’s ability to lead full, rich, satisfying lives. The importance of a healthy self-concept for mental health can scarcely be exaggerated. It is clear that self-esteem is characteristically deeply implicated in the neurotic (though not necessarily the psychotic) process. Whether the research has been essentially clinical or quantitative, the results demonstrate clear and consistent relationships of low self-esteem to psychological depression, anxiety, somatic symptoms, impulse to aggression, vulnerability, negative affective states, and other neurotic symptoms. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7

The social roots of self-esteem are thus an important topic in the sociology of mental health. However, the sociologist is also properly interested in the influence of personality on society. On theoretical grounds, there is reason to think that the self-concept, at least as a proximal influence is implicated in almost all social behavior. Much of what people do voluntarily depends upon what they conceive themselves to be. Each takes one’s personal identity so much for granted that the individual does not realize the extent to which his or her life is structured by the working conception one forms of oneself. The things that a person does voluntarily, and even involuntarily, depend upon the assumption one makes about the kind of person one is and the way in which one fits into the scheme of things in one’s World. Believing in oneself can strongly influence long-term career advancement and overall health. People who score high on self-evaluations enjoy success earlier in their careers, engage in continued higher education, and advance more quickly than those who score lower on self-evaluations. The advantaged gained by having an optimistic self-image is also strongly correlated with overall career satisfaction, higher pay, and better health.  #RandolphHarris 2 of 7

The self-concept plays a major role in occupational decisions. The selection of an occupation depends on a view of the self. How you feel about yourself will either spawn motivation and energy or will several hurt your changes for a great career.  The individual making an occupational choice must achieve stereoscopic vision as one is making an occupational incumbent. Although the answer to the question: what should I become? has some important consequences for the occupational system, it always emerges from the ulterior question: what am I like and what do I like to think of myself as? As an obvious example if girls are socialized to believe that they are competent in mathematical ability or assign this talent to a high position in their system of self-values, then they will be more likely to seek occupations such as engineering, physics, and related fields demanding such skills; and, indeed, the facts show them to be strikingly underrepresented in such fields. That is more than likely because people’s self-concepts tend to match the stereotypical characteristics associated with their chosen occupations. For example, students planning to enter the field of sales tend to describe themselves as sociable, talkative, aggressive, and having initiative, whereas those selecting accounting are likely to describe themselves as precise, self-controlled, organized, and thorough. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7

 When individuals increase their confidence level, they are able to interview more effectively, negotiate higher salaries and, subsequently they will receiver a wider range of occupational choices. Furthermore, the self-concept is not only consonant with prime occupational choice, but with second occupational choice as well. In selecting an occupation, people seek to achieve self-role congruence. If people have high global self-esteem, then their occupational choices tend to be consonant with their self-concepts, but if their self-esteem is low, the self-concept and the occupational choice are unrelated, and they are going to be paid less, given fewer responsibilities and will end up accepting a position that they are overqualified for. In making an occupational choice, people with high self-esteem sought to be true to their pictures of what they were like; people with low self-esteem, on the other hand, tended to make their occupational choices on the basis of other considerations, for example, certain extrinsic rewards of work, such as money, status, or security. The question of why those with high self-esteem tend to implement their self-concepts whereas those with low self-esteem do not is currently under active debate. Perhaps people with higher self-esteem feel they are a gift and people with lower self-esteem feel lucky to get a job and believe they can prove themselves worthy of that and more. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7

The results can be interpreted within the framework of cognitive consistency theory. Humans are motivated by inconsistences and a desire to change them. Cognitive inconsistences cause imbalance in individuals and the tension from this inequality in individuals and the strain from this disparity motivates people to alter these irregularities. The pressure arises when thoughts conflict with each other and this stress creates a motivation to change and correct the inconsistency. When this hardship is reduced, balance is achieved in the individual. The right mindset significantly boosts one’s overall state of being and performance. People anticipate consistency, inconsistencies create imbalance and dissonance in individuals, and that tension motivated the individuals to create consistency in order to achieve balance. This is meaningfully understood as consequences of the self-esteem motive. Global self-esteem has also been shown to bear a relationship to occupational aspirations, expectations, values. A study of high school juniors and seniors showed that youngsters with low self-esteem were more likely to avoid occupations that required the exercise of leadership, to want jobs in which they were free of supervision, and to avoid jobs involving competition. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7

 Other economic attitudes, orientations, or behavior may also be influenced by the self-concept. Psychiatric attendants reconceptualize the nature of their work for the purpose of enhancing self-respect. In studying the self-concepts of executives and supervisors, it can be seen how historical developments have produced change in self-concepts among Greek army officers. Sociological research has also been conducted on the process by which a trainee—say, a medical student or a music student—comes to see himself or herself as a doctor or musician. Individuals navigating along their career path build on feelings of self-confidence, self-worth, and inner strength to transform the journey into career success. Through experience, you are building wisdom that can be applied in different situations and across different industries. Keeping track of the skills, knowledge, and abilities, you possess builds your self-confidence and facilitates a feeling of self-worth. It may be no exaggeration to suggest that the self-concept, in its full rich complexity, pervades virtually every aspect of occupational life. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7

Showing gratitude also helps people keep an optimistic attitude. We all like working with people who are happy, genuine, and have good attitudes. Even on a bad day, look for something to be thankful for and have gratitude for all the blessings that have been bestowed. Your goals are sacred to you. They are the gold that will help you create the life and career success that you want and deserve. Once you have proved to yourself you can be successful, your confidence will soar. It is also important to do the same in your career by showing others how competent you are. You have exactly what you need. If you use what God has given you, he will get you where you are supposed to be. It is not necessarily the amount of talent, education, or money, but what makes the difference is God’s anointing on our life. You can have average talent, but when God breathes in your direction, you will go further than someone with exceptional talent. Be confident that you have exactly what you need. It may not be as much as others have, and that is okay. You are not running their race. Do not envy their talent. Do not covet what they have. Do not wish you had their looks, their personality, or their opportunities. God equipped you with everything you need to fulfill your destiny. You have the talent, confidence, strength, and the creativity to fulfill your purpose. With a view like that, the World changes completely. It brings transcendence and takes people further. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7

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A Virtuous Person’s Soul Speak with the Same Voice

 

It may be true that most of us can recognize that it would be foolish to risk our lives and the lives of others to secure a trivial benefit, and that most of us can see that it is unjust to harm others to secure power and wealth for our own comfort. The potentially damaging effects of contextual dissonance on self-esteem rests on two rather different foundations. One deals with those ways in which we are different from others; because of prejudice or cultural dissimilarity, such a difference may eventuate in reduced self-esteem. The other effects stems from whether we are better or worse than others; our self-esteem may be damaged if we find ourselves immersed in contexts in which others outstrip us. The latter effect is particularly evident when we consider abilities context. How many premier high school students suffer rude blows to their sense of worth when they enter highly select colleges? How many outstanding college football heroes develop feelings of inadequacy upon entering the professional ranks? In other words, it is not only how good the individual is, but how good others around the individual are that affect one’s self-attitudes. Because we tend to be more self-conscious when entering new situations were others are more advanced for we feel overwhelmed and under pressure. #RandolpHarris 1 of 7

Living well or happiness is our ultimate objective in that a concept of pleasure and serves to organize our various subordinate goal, by indicating the relative importance of our life’s value and by signifying how these concepts should fit together into some rational overall scheme. In The American Soldier studies, the Research Branch considered the following contexts: inexperienced soldiers in untrained outfits, and equally unschooled replacements in divisions otherwise composed of combat veterans. Among numerous questions put to these soldiers was the individual’s confidence in one’s ability to take charge of a group of people in combat. It turned out that the unskilled soldier in a veteran outfit was less confident that one could take charge of a group of people than was the amateur soldier in an inexperienced outfit. Relative to the veterans, the replacements were aware of their inexperience and felt less capable of leadership than did equally unseasoned soldiers in consonant contexts; the competence was the same, but the contexts were different. Therefore, people generally feel more confident when they are being honest because they are authentic and do not have to worry about being judged based on criteria that should be inherent, as we know that they still need some skill advancement. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7

Happiness is identified with living coherently. Perfect or complete happiness is distinctively human. When we are living well our life is worthy of imitation and admiration. That we are happy says something about us and about what we have achieved, not simply about the fortunate circumstances in which we find ourselves. The bearings of the abilities context on self-esteem within the classroom is aptly illustrated in a study of the relationship of school marks to self-value. The research presents us with 159 academic underachievers in small classes in 17 elementary schools. The data showed that, within classrooms, those with higher standardized scores had higher self-esteem, both on the composite self-worth index and on various subscales. Across classrooms, however, objective ratings of pupils showed little consistent relation to their self-value. Self-esteem apparently depends on comparison with others within the same classroom, not on comparisons with pupils generally. It is noteworthy that academic self-concepts were particularly affected by the contexts. That is due to the fact that people in the same group tend to be exposed to the exact same material, and they have a gauge of measuring the skill level needed to obtain a satisfactory mark or advanced mark. Whereas students in other classrooms are exposed to different material and may have different skill levels. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7

Parallel results have appeared in studies of children with special needs. Researchers compared the self-concepts of children with special needs with parents who have special needs with the self-concept of children with special needs with parents who are considered not need any particular accommodations; the self-esteem of children with parents who have special needs (a consonant home context) proved to be higher. Consistent with this result, another study showed that the self-esteem of children with special needs in residential schools for children with special needs was higher than that of children with special needs in school for children of the general population. It would appear that the damaging self-concept consequences of so stigmatized a special need appears to be mitigated by immoral in consonant context. And that is probably because when one is in an environment where everyone needs special accommodations, people are more likely to be understanding that the individuals have some kind of sensitivity that requires greater assistance, and are usually more empathic  of their necessities. In other words, people will not take advantage, bully, nor exploit these individuals because it is already known this group needs more compassion, accommodations, and understanding than the general population, as they have special needs and it can be a life or death concern that they are treated with adequate care. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7

Whatever happiness is, it must take account of the fact that a happy life is one lived by rational agents who act and who are not simply victims of their circumstances. A happy life must give prominent place to the exercise of virtue, for virtuous traits of character are stable and enduring and are not products of fortune, but of learning or cultivation. Moreover, virtuous traits of character are excellences of the human being in that they are the best exercise of reason, which is the activity characteristics of human beings.  Virtuous activity completes or perfects human life. Nonetheless, one can readily understand why the physical characteristics of those in our environment should affect how we see ourselves. Whether we are tall or short, heavy or light, weak or strong, obviously depends not simply on what we are likely but on what others with whom we compare ourselves are like. Research demonstrates that the salience of physical characteristics in the self-concept is affected by the context. When 292 sixth-grade pupils in 10 classrooms were asked to tell us about themselves. One week later the respondents were requested to provide specific information regarding their physical appearance (height, weight, hair color, eye color), and other objective information (gender, birth date, birth place, and household composition).  #RandolphHarris 5 of 7

The results showed that pupils either younger or older than average within their classrooms were more likely spontaneously to mention their age than those closer to the average; that those born outside the city or outside the country were more likely than natives to identify themselves in terms of place of birth; that redheads and blondes were more likely to mention hair color than the more numerous brunettes or brown-haired subjects; that those with blue or green eyes mentioned eye color more than brown-eyed youngsters; and that those above or below average in weight were more likely to mention their weight. (Unusual height, however, was not more likely to be mentioned.) In other words, self-concept components tend to be salient if they are distinctive—or dissonant—in a given context, independent of whether the quality is ego-enhancing or ego-diminishing. So, we tend to mention attributes we feel or important or that others will notice. It is thus evident that different contexts (social identity contexts, abilities contexts, physical contexts) may influence diverse aspects of the individual’s self-concept: global self-esteem, academic self-concept, self-concept stability, salience of specific components, and so on. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7

Having a virtuous character is purely a matter of being knowledgeable of what brings us more pleasure rather than less. These data offer vivid testimony to the importance of other people in shaping the individual self-concept. Other people constitute a frame of reference, a backdrop, a perspective from which the self is seen. The self-concept may be as much a product of the quality of the others and the quality of the individual. When people are free to do what they please, they usually imitate each other. It is by imitation, far more then by precepts, that we learn everything, and what we learn thus, we acquire not only more effectually, but more pleasantly. You have the favor factor of God, and it is something about you that cannot be put on paper. You have what it takes to be successful. Be sure to do your part and activate this favor. When the dream looks impossible, do not give up. Be thankful and know that God’s mercy, compassion, and love are with you. Believe that you will become everything that God has created you to be, and you will have everything God intended for you to have. When we have the boldness to ask God for big things, you will see the greatness of God’s power. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7

But Why if He is Only a Myth?

 

Let us be finished with this humbug which has fooled humankind for so long. People think that psychiatry is a science of the mind, but it may not be. Some people think psychiatry is a genius for evil rather than for good, and that some members of the psychoanalytic society devote meetings into psychoanalyzing people, which is neither sought nor consented in order to transform a polemicist into a patient. For instance, a young Hapsburg princess wanted to divorce her blue-blooded husband and marry a commoner, a decision Dr. Julius Wagner von Jauregg (a Nobel Prize winning Austrian physician) considered to be the symptom of a mental illness serious enough to justify the young woman’s incarceration in a madhouse. It was this brazen deprivation of personal liberty under the guise of psychiatry that makes people fearful of seeking help for their mental health. And, evidently, many doctors see nothing wrong in such use of psychiatry. Many professionals, too, remain silent about these types of situations. Such a position seems to imply that a person believed to be innocent of an offense might be held morally responsible and be blamed or convicted on the general grounds that it would be socially beneficial to do so. And this seems to conflict with deeply held convictions about the requirements of justice in our commerce with other human beings. #RandolphHarris 1 of 11

Let the person come by one’s own volition or choice how one will, yet, if one is able, and there is nothing on the way to hinder an individual pursuing and executing one’s will, then individual is fully and perfectly free, according to the primary and common notion of freedom. Eisenhower could have ordered his troops to take Berlin before the Russians arrived and Kennedy was able to call off the invasion of Cuba, but he decided not to do so and that is perfectly consistent with determinism. There is an important distinction between an action being caused or determined by antecedent circumstances, and its being constrained or compelled or coerced by antecedent circumstances. Only when an action that is determined is also in some way constrained or compelled is the actor not morally responsible for that act. Some people argue that the claims of justice are satisfied if we justify the rules according to which a person is judged to be morally responsible and blameworthy on the basis of the principle that social utility ought to be maximized, but then apply these rules to particular cases in a way which precludes any further appeal to this principle of utility. In this way, the claims of justice may be satisfied and the problem of freedom bypassed. This view, usually called rule utilitarianism. #RandolphHarris 2 of 11

The mind does not always think. We have an infinite number of perceptions of which we are not aware. Habituation and wandering attention, as well as the smallness of the perceptions, explain our failure to notice them. Our attention is often drawn to a sound that has just occurred and we would not otherwise have consciously noticed it, although we registered it. These insensible perceptions are also the signs of personal identity and its constituents; the individual is characterized by traces of one’s previous states which these perceptions preserve by connecting them with one’s present state. They are means of recollection. Along with social interaction and social identity elements, social contexts have an important bearing on the self-concept. The special nature of contextual analysis can be highlighted by comparing it with what is doubtlessly the dominant procedure in sociological research, namely, the individual characteristic approach. To further highlight this illustration, when we ask about the relationship between race and self-esteem, we are looking at the connection between one characteristic of the individual (a social identity element) with another characteristic of the individual (a global attitude toward the self). #RandolphHarris 3 of 11

 When we turn to contextual analysis, on the other hand, the aim is to investigate the bearing of some general property of the group on the thoughts, acts, or norms of its constituent members. Instead of asking: what is the impact of the individual’s social class on his or her self-esteem? we might ask: what is the impact of his or her neighbor’s social class on his or her self-esteem? In other words, how does their socioeconomic status (SES) affect his or her self-concept? The qualities of others structure the individual’s experience. For instance, it may be a very different experience for privileged child to be raised in an disprivileged neighborhood than for a disprivileged child to be raised in a disprivileged community; for a Catholic child to be raised in a Protestant neighborhood than for a Protestant child to be raised in the same neighborhood; for a middle-class child to be reared in a working-class neighborhood than for a working-class child to be reared in this social context. By examining contextual effects, we have accumulated, demonstrating diverse effect. The type of context that appears to be most relevant to the self-concept is the dissonant or consonant context. By consonance or dissonance, we refer to the degree to which the individual’s characteristics match the characteristics predominant in one’s environment. #RandolphHarris 4 of 11

A way of gaining knowledge is through cultural tradition, whereby an accepted body of facts is passed from generation to generation. In a large-scale survey of adolescents in New York State, the results showed that Jewish children raised in predominantly Gentile neighborhoods had lower global self-esteem than those raised in predominantly Jewish neighborhoods. Furthermore, Catholics raised in non-Catholic neighborhoods and Protestants raised in non-Protestant neighborhoods also had somewhat lower self-esteem than those reared among their coreligionists. Thus, even people high in religious status manifested some self-esteem decline in dissonant contexts, although the effect were not very strong. Culture plays an important role in tradition. Farmers and ranchers in the America Midwest, for example, know that burning their pasturelands early each Spring helps remove dead underbrush so that nutritious pasture grasses can get a better start for the Sumer grazing. Farmers in Iran, however, move their herds into the mountains during the Spring and Summer months and then back to the plains in the Fall and Winter, allowing nature to kill off undesirable weeds and underbrush and replenish the desirable grasses. The corpus of research on dissonant racial contexts is far more abundant. #RandolphHarris 5 of 11

 One point frequently overlooked is that, technically, segregation represents a condition of racial consonance whereas desegregation represents a condition of dissonance. Research findings in this area have not been entirely consistent, but a number of studies indicate that the global self-esteem consequences of racial dissonance are somewhat negative. Thorough review of the effects of desegregation found that in nine studies global self-esteem was low in dissonant context, in four studies it was higher, and in seven studies there was no clear difference. Therefore, the weight of evidence suggest that the global self-esteem consequences of racial dissonance tend to be negative, but the effect are neither powerful nor uniform. There is some evidence that ethnic dissonance may bear on global self-esteem. The data from a study based on a sample of French Canadian men in Sherbrooke, Quebec, some of whom had been educated in French-speaking and some in English-speaking schools, showed that the French who had attended English-speaking schools were more likely than those who had attended French schools to be in occupations of higher prestige. However, their global self-esteem was lower. Otherwise expressed, despite the superior achievements resulting from attendance at English-speaking schools, their sense of self-worth appeared to suffer in an ethnically dissonant context.  #RandolphHarris 6 of 11

When we turn to social class dissonance, little information is available. One study showed that, among higher-class children attending lower-class schools had significantly lower self-esteem than higher-class children attending higher-class schools, and lower-class children in higher-class schools had lower self-esteem than lower-class children in lower-class schools. For both upper- and lower-class children, then, dissonant socioeconomic environments appeared hostile to self-esteem. Although the weight of evidence indicates that the dissonant social identity context exerts a depressing effect on global self-esteem, this effect is not usually a very powerful one. When people are immersed in a culture that is more festive than they own, they may find it annoying that individuals tend to lack respect, hygiene, tact, finesse, education, and structure, but they learn to tolerate the behavior knowing that the situation is only temporary and that the people cannot help themselves. The reasons for expecting contextual dissonance to have some depressing effect on global self-esteem are not obscure. For one thing, the data clearly shows that people in dissonant contexts are more likely to be subjected directly to the ravages of prejudice. #RandolphHarris 7 of 11

A study of New York States adolescents showed that those in dissonant religious contexts were much more likely than those in consonant contexts to report that they had been teased, laughed at, or left out of things because of their religion. And in Quebec, French-Canadians educated in English-speaking schools were more likely than those in French-speaking schools to report they had experienced ethic prejudice. The reflected appraisals received from those in a dissonant environment may well have been damaging global self-esteem consequences. In addition, the individual socialized in one culture who must judge oneself by the standards of another may feel that there is something strange or wrong about oneself. Thus, if a French Canadian attending an English-speaking school speaks with an exotic accent or, because of one’s French background, thinks or acts in ways that are dissimilar with others in his or her English environment, one may, following the self-attribution principle, conclude that there is something wrong with oneself. That is why it is important to have faith in God. Faith is a strong belief in truths that cannot be verified by personal experiences—serves as an important source of knowledge in almost every culture. #RandolphHarris 8 of 11

Faith also reflect diversity, in that across and within cultures there are a wide variety of beliefs and opinions as to what constitutes truth. The small and more homogeneous a particular society, the more likely there will be agreement as to what constitutes truth; the larger and more heterogeneous the population, the more likely there will be more diversity of faiths and, hence, many different truths, untruths, and heresies. Faith usually goes beyond tradition, however, because it is often supported by intense emotional commitment. The belief in a supernatural being, or in life after death, for example, usually requires faith beyond personal experience. Yet, surveys consistently show that the vast majority of North Americans (80 to 90 percent) believe in God, the power of prayer, and an afterlife. Because of its emotional and moral connotations, faith is a powerful source of knowledge, and those who question it may suffer some of the most serious social consequences a society has to offer. History is replete with religious wars, inquisitions, hangings, and burnings at the stake motivated by religious convictions and conflicts. In order for people to enforce their beliefs formally, they typically must have the support of those in positions of power and authority. #RandolphHarris 9 of 11

Each race finds its partisan, especially among those persons who believe that they themselves have authoritative knowledge, which is gained by listening to people who are recognized as authorities or expects. Authority is often linked to power; those in leadership positions may be viewed as more knowledgeable than others and can use their power to influence others. The Mediterranean may claim that they were the pioneers in human civilization and progress, the larger part of classic antiquity, and the still more ancient cultures on which that antiquity was founded, being to their credit; the Alpines boast their proficient in the arts of peace and point to the fact that the human of genius tend to approximate to their type, whether or not of their race; the Nordics claim to be the most adventurous, the most individualistic, and sometimes the most dominant. It is the Nordics who have perhaps been loudest in proclaiming their own virtues, above all in Germany, where, however, they do not predominate, but also to some extent in France and in England and in America. It may perhaps be permitted to a largely Nordic person, ancestrally in a mainly Nordic region, to attempt to take a reasonable and impartial view. #RandolphHarris 10 of 11

There is something to be said for every race, and the more to be said the better we learn to know it. The preference for one race above another is a little but the outcome of prejudice, often due to the fact that one believes, rightly or wrongly, that one possesses oneself a strain of that preferred racial blood. The eugenist is not called upon to prefer one race above the others and to work for the extinction of the others. If we come to that, it is quite likely that, on a referendum being called, the darker races of our Earth, who happen to be in a large majority, might vote the extinction of the lighter race, and, moreover, find excellent reasons for that decision. Ultimately, we are bound to conclude, pigmentation is a question of exposure to the Sun’s rays, whether ingrained in a race by natural selection or acquired by heredity; it is a problem, not for the eugenist but for the biological anthropologist. The euensist, whether the dark-skinned eugenists or the white-skinned is not called upon to make a decision in the matter. One is simply called upon to improve the stock of the race within which one belongs, “People that they have been wrought upon by the Spirit of God; and had been healed; and they did show forth signs also and did do some miracles among the people (3 Nephi 7.22).” #RandolphHarris 11 of 11

Get Out–They Poured Milk Down My Shirt and Put Ham in My Pants!

Improving humanity will happen by applying science to society. There are many prejudices and misunderstandings still lingering from the past. The castration of old days left behind it traditions of punishment, ignominy, and obloquy, at the least of a kind of shameful dishonor, and such notions, it is likely, still largely prevail among the populace and become attached to the new sterilization. How the attitudes of other people affect our self-concepts also depends on which self-concept component is under consideration. A tennis expert may be highly influential in determining our judgments of our tennis skill, but our parents and friends may be more influential in determining our global self-esteem. There is a difference between role-specific significant others (whose opinions are typically significant with regard to a specific aspect of the individual’s role-set), and orientational others (whose opinions are significant in general). To establish a perspective, index role-specific significant others who’s evaluation of you as a student or employee at your job or school concerns you most. Because people should only be evaluating your material and not you personally, although you are expected to be well-behaved and of good hygiene, they have no right to judge your personally to be involved in your personal life. #RandolphHarris 1 of 12

Therefore, the only thing they should have an impact on, when it comes to dealing with you, is your performance in school or work. Unless, of course, part of your job as a student or employee or corporation is to also be a good citizen. To reduce drama or the chance of getting anyone’s feelings hurt, it is important to evaluate these different types of relationships based on qualifying criteria. In an effort to reduce sexual harassment claims, employers usually do not allow employees to fraternize, as it might negatively affect the company and employees socially, financially, and legally. Therefore, it is important to have boundaries. Now, when it comes to orientational significant others, list those persons or groups of people whose evaluation of you as a person concerns you most. Generally, the results will show that, with regard to evaluation of the self in a professional context, respondents tend to mention faculty or manager first, with friends and family members following in that order. However, when asked about the views of others toward the self as a person, friends are most frequently mentioned, followed by family members, with faculty and employers in third place. #RandolphHarris 2 of 12

The impact of others also depends on the degree of crystallization of the self-concept component under consideration. If the component is firmly fixed, others’ views may have little impact; but f it is uncrystallized, we may readily accept the other’s view of ourselves. This point is most evident when bogus qualities are used. When the professors gives us the results of our performance on a test or on a project at work of contrast sensitivity or perceptual discrimination, informing us that we are deficient or superior in this regard, we readily accept the expert judgment of us. The reason is, of course, that we had no performance view of ourselves regarding these qualities. However, the same is true of real but uncrystallized self-concept components. Such is the case, for example, when subjects are asked how good they are at voice control or conveying meaning. Experts’ judgments are easily accepted with reference to qualities on which we have little or no preformulated opinions. It would be far more difficult to convince us, contrary to an established assumption, that we are a fascist or a moron. #RandolphHarris 3 of 12

There is intrinsic value to being. It is what we fundamentally are. Whether we accept the other’s view of us depends in part on whether or not we are motivated to accept it. Given the self-esteem and self-consistency motives, it is evident that we would prefer to internalize optimistic characteristics than negative, and consistent rather than contradictory, attitudes toward the self. There is evidence to suggest that, in the interests of self-esteem and self-consistency, people engage in selective perception of the attitudes of the other and selective attribution of significance. Discovering and eventually resting in this being brings a feeling of deep inner peace and freedom. As we become intimate with this still center within, we feel more connected to all of life. We experience our wholeness firsthand and become lovers of what is—of life as it appears. Our approach to life becomes increasingly less problematic as we accept what comes and allow what goes, grounded in something that feels unchanging in our core. The fluctuations of health, work, and relationships are held in a bigger and more connected space. Selective perception in the service of self-esteem characteristically involves the belief that others think more highly of us than they actually do. #RandolphHarris 4 of 12

There is, in fact, ample evidence of such a self-favorability bias. Virtually every study that has explored the issue finds that people tend to believe that others think more highly of them than these others actually do. Furthermore, the self-consistency motive contributes to people’s tendency to believe that others’ attitudes toward them are congruent with their own. Interpersonal congruency is said to exist when the individual perceives others as attributing to one a trait that one attributes to oneself.  This theory was investigated in a study of thirty-one women in a sorority house. Subjects were asked to rank themselves on sixteen paired traits, such as warm-cold, mature-immature, dominant-submissive, and so forth. The subject was asked to indicate the adjectives she thought others would assign to her, those she assigned to herself, and those she assigned to each of the other women. The results showed that the subject overestimated the extent to which others saw her as she saw herself, and that this overestimation was strongest for those women whom the subject liked or interacted with most. People thus tend to believe unduly that others—particularly those they know best—see them as they see themselves. #RandolphHarris 5 of 12

Recognizing and consciously welcoming being into the conventional ritual of modern psychotherapy brings a feeling of shared spaciousness to the therapeutic exploration. People come to relate to their inner and outer lives with more compassionate acceptance and clarity. Selective significance is also enlisted in the service of the self-concept motives. Since significance to those who, we believe, think well (or congruently) of us and to withhold significance from others. The individual is more likely to be influenced by what one believes one’s friends think of him or her than by what one believes his or her nonfriends think of him or her. The net result of this interpersonal selectivity is to attribute greater significance to the opinions of those whose attitudes toward the self are more favorable. That is because our greatest suffering stems from our sense of separation and the feeling or being alone and disconnected from life. One of the beauties is being around people who love, accept, and respect us is that it directly addresses our core need, which is to be loved unconditionally. It also offers an intimate shared shape for us to explore our fears of being open to another being as well as to the whole of life. #RandolphHarris 6 of 12

What empirical research has made evident is that the principle of reflected appraisals, though fundamentally correct, is an approximation. Whether we see ourselves as others see us depends on who these others are; which aspect of the self is under consideration; and whether we are motivated to accept or reject their views. The self we see when viewing ourselves through the eyes of others is thus seen through a glass, darkly. As the old conditioning is gradually processed, integrated, and released, the transpersonal domains of the soul and spirit begin to unfold. Being together offers a simple and elegant way for the self to meet itself in the apparent other. In so doing, we are looking for ourselves in others. Looking for attributes that make us feel more comfortable and complete. However, it is true, and well recognized, that a large number of defective children are the offspring of parents who are not under restraint and approximate to the normal. These parents usually belong to neurotic groups like American gossip-journalism. They are moralist without character, noise-makers in the coffee house, and it is possible to recognize them and to bring social influences to bear on them. #RandolphHarris 7 of 12

Cases constantly occur in which to parents of this kind child after child is born in rapid succession, all more or less defective, one way or another, or even in the same way, as in a family of eight, all ambiguous meatheads and ding bats. A question of frequent debate is how far sterilization should be voluntary and how far regulated by legislation. My own prejudices in this matter have always been strongly on the voluntary side, then there would be no need for abortion or pills that make people gain weight, and they can be free to adopted some of these unwanted children in this overpopulated World. Some surgeons appear to have a nervous terror that if they sterilize they may be doing an illegal act, even if they do so at the wish of the patient, and some legal opinions seem to support it, though it is difficult to see who could dispute a voluntary sterilization, and on what grounds. A law to regulate sterilization, standing by itself, would look like class legislation and be in consequence resented by those who ought to feel, not that a punishment is being inflicted on them, but that a privilege is being brought within their reach. That result is best achieved by the free and open practice of voluntary sterilization among all classes of the community. #RandolphHarris 8 of 12

At the same time, provided that such voluntary sterilization is openly encouraged and practiced, I am now willing to admit that legal facilities may be desirable to bring this method within reach, not only for the poor, who otherwise would not have the means nor the opportunity to secure it, but of the insane and feeble-minded under control, who can legally only give their consent through their nearest relatives, but for whom, alike in their own interest and those of their possible offspring, procreation is undesirable. It is quite possible for such parents to have tolerably normal children, but, with our increased sense of social responsibility, we begin to realize that in so serious a matter no risks must be run here. It is in California that a sterilization law, not indeed entirely admirable, has been most effective, having been applied to many thousands of subjects and worked in a reasonable way.  Heredity and eugenics are an extension of natural selection. Improving the genetic makeup of the human population will happen by specifically sterilizing people with genetic defects or undesirable traits, thereby keeping them from reproducing. #RandolphHarris 9 of 12

We need to establish an Executive Secretary of the American Social Hygiene Association. Their mission will be to use public education to promote premarital abstinence, and also promote sex education and birth control. We also need an Institute of Family Relations to bring marriage and family counseling so we can improve the race. Since the family often suffers problems which threaten its stability, we must treat those problems. In other words, we should establish a marriage counseling center where maladjustments might be brought, studied, classified—and helped is possible. Part of this counseling is to encourage fathers to take an active role in their lives of their children. By 2027, the Institute can employ 70 counselors and counsel over 300,000 men, women and children. This was a technique introduced by Dr. Paul Popenoe (1888-19790, he was a Sunday School teacher and a secular humanist. When he was 17, he fainted after eating a steak dinner and became a strict vegetarian long before it was popular. And true to his Victorian roots, he did not believe in any kind of sex outside of marriage, and he was a virgin on his wedding night. He became the marriage counselor to the stars and sessions maintained privacy. #RandolphHarris 10 of 12

In total, 20,108 people were sterilized in the state of California prior to 1964. California had by far the highest number of sterilization in the United States of America (33 percent of all sterilization nationwide). Men and women were sterilized. However, because of the sensitive nature of sterilization records, many are difficult to access or have been altered. This suggests that the total known number of sterilizations may be conservative compared to actual number. Eugenicists in California saw sterilization as a tool with a broad range of applications, all of which were applied to prevent the procreation and overcrowding of state institution and to alleviate fiscal constraints on the state. It has been estimated that the sterilization of 10 percent of the population would produce an appreciably beneficial eugenic effect on the whole nation. Experimental Evolution was a product of the Eugenics Record Office, the first building to be devoted solely to the study of human evolution or race biology. Dr. Charles B. Davenport believed that we needed a social movement that would embody the impulses of racial regeneration and genetic editing to prevent the nations of the World from going bankrupt. The aim: how can we now replace the aim quantity by that of quality? #RandolphHarris 11 of 12

When we grasp that problem in all its branches we see that it is most intimately bound up with our personal lives. And when we recognize how the problem presents itself today we shall realize from the wider human standpoint, having more quality people over quantity is the most vital problem of society. “Behold, I am laboring with them continually; and when I speak the word of God with sharpness they tremble and anger against me; and when I use no sharpness they harden their hearts against it; wherefore, I fear the lest the Spirit of the Lord hath ceased striving with them. For o exceedingly do they anger that it seemeth me that they have lost their love, one towards another; and they thirst after blood for revenge continually. And now, my beloved children, notwithstanding their hardness, let us labor diligently; for if we should cease to labor, we should be brought under condemnation; for we have a labor to perform whilst in this tabernacle of clay, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness, and rest our souls in the Kingdom of God (Moroni 9.4-6).” Grief can take care of itself, but to get full value of a joy, you must have somebody to divide it with. #RandolphHarris 12 of 12

 

He is Not Happier without Me!

Some may believe that love is physical, that love is nothing but a physical response to another whom the agent feels physically attracted to. However, the action of loving encompasses a broad range of behavior including caring, listening, attending to, preferring to other, and so on. As a consequence of seeing ourselves from the perspectives of others, our self-concepts will come to correspond at least partially to other people’s views of us. The self-concept is how we see ourselves. The social (or accorded) self—is how other people actually see the individual; and the reflected (or perceived) self—is how the individual believes others see him or her. The data obtained consistently supports the principle of reflected appraisals. To further highlight this illustration, students were asked to rate themselves in terms of four self-concept components: intelligent, physically attractive, self-confident, and likeable. They also asked other members of the individual’s group to rate him or her on these characteristics. Since ten groups participated, and each group rated each individual on four traits, forty comparisons were possible. In thirty-five out of forty comparisons, those rating themselves high were more likely than those rating themselves low to be rated higher by the group. #RandolphHarris 1 of 9

Individuals change as they grow. Research also shows a strong and consistent association between the reflected self and the self-concept—what we believe others think of us and our self-concepts. If the individual believes others think well of him or her, then that individual tends to think well of oneself. People are affected by their environments and the way they are treated. There is a consistent, though imperfect, relationship between the social self (what others actually think of us) and the reflected self. More often than not, people’s views of what others think of them are accurate; but in many cases they also misread the attitude of the other toward themselves. God has all the power and wisdom to defend you, all the mercy to pardon you, and all the grace to enrich you, all the righteousness to clothe you, all the goodness to supply you, and all the happiness to crown you. Therefore, our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity. Without work in the natural science, we should never know human beings as they really are. In no other activity can one come so close to direct perception and clear thought, or realize so fully the errors of the sense, the mistakes of the intellect, the weakness and greatness of human character. #RandolphHarris 2 of 9

Two individuals may respond very differently to the same situation because they are different people. And part of that difference is a matter of genetic inheritance. What we believe others think of us (reflected self) is more closely related to our self-concept than what they actually think of us (social self). It was predicted that those who rated themselves high were more likely than those who rated themselves low to believe that other rated them high was supported in forty out of forty comparisons. Through socialization, an individual learns what he or she needs to know in order to survive and live in society. The research unequivocally supports the basic ideas regarding the importance of taking the role of the other in shaping the self-concept, seeing ourselves through the eyes of other rational people, when we form our view of oneself. However, these is general, it is imprecise and may be in need of refinement. For example, although it is true that we tend to see ourselves as others see us, one question is: which others? There are many other people with whom we interact, and since they inevitably view us from different perspectives, we obviously cannot accept all of their views of us. Second, which self-concept components? Since there are many self-concepts components, we may accept a person’s judgment of certain of our characteristics, but not of other characteristics. Third: why? Since we internalize other people’s attitudes toward us in come circumstances but not in others, the question is: what motivational factors contribute to such differential effects? Research has shed light on each of these questions. #RandolphHarris 3 of 9

It can be troublesome when one cannot filter out unwanted sensation. Sometimes we have to wade through competing sensations and sort them out, we may also have to compete with our own expectations, assumptions, prejudices, or personal needs. Whether the attitudes of other people toward us affect our self-concept depends in part on how significant they are to us. The question with valuation is: what makes some people highly significant to us, others less so? Two foundations of interpersonal significance will be considered: valuation and credibility. It is reasonable to expect that the opinions of those people who matter most to us—whose opinion we care about greatly—should have a stronger effect on out self-concepts than the views of those to whom we are indifferent. In an investigation, respondent were asked how much they cared about what certain people in their role-sets thought of them. The results showed that the relationship between what the child believed his or her mother thought of one and what one thought of oneself was very strong if that individual cared very much about the mother’s opinion of oneself, but much weaker if one cared little. The same proved to be true with regard to fathers, teachers, classmates, siblings, and friends. #RandolphHarris 4 of 9

We see (or perceive) what we want or need to perceive, and our nervous system can come to act as if the other sensation did not exist. This phenomenon is called perceptual vigilance: being on guard, or ready, to concentrate on certain kinds of stimuli and filtering out those that we do not want or need to receive. And the process works in the interpersonal area too. The impact of the other’s opinion of us also depends on the degree of faith, trust, or confidence that we repose in the person’s judgment.  The concept of credibility, although overlapping with that of valuation, is not identical with it. We may be eager to be liked by our classmates, even if we have little respect for their judgment. The results in our study showed that with regard to parents, teachers, and best friends, the relationship between the reflected self and the self-concept was stronger if the child had high faith in the other person’s knowledge of the self than if one had low faith. #RandolphHarris 5 of 9

In the area of human relations, we find generalizations going on all the time. And while we can sit back and say it is unscientific or silly, nonetheless it goes no and it is the cause for a lot of serious conflicts between people. That is why expertise is an important basis of credibility. For instance, when two ways of changing boys’ attitudes toward their masculinity, in a high credibility situation, the director of the project told the subjects he would test them by means of an objective measure of their mannishness. In the low credibility situation, the tester was introduced as a high school student whose work represented part of a study in social perception. Not only was the subject more likely to accept the expert’s judgment of his male prowess than the high school student’s, but he tended to accept the expert’s assessment even if it deviated from his own. Similarly, it was shown that when a bogus speech expert evaluated an individual’s oral reading ability, the individual readily changed his mind about his skill in this area. #RandolphHarris 6 of 9

Obscenity is a permanent element of human social life and corresponds to a deep need of the human mind, or, for all we know to the contrary, of mind generally. It is not confined to any nation or any stage of culture, low or high, savage or civilized. It definitely exists and is recognized among the peoples we often call primitive and it is joyfully manifested by the greatest people of genius among the higher races. Credibility is also influenced by our attribution of motives to others. Whether we will accept the other person’s expressed judgment of us depends on whether we consider him or her sincere or false. In a study, half of the subjects were told that the interviewer was simply practicing a set of interviewing techniques, whereas the other half were told that the main task of the interviewer was to be as honest as possible. Although both groups of subjects were treated identically, the self-esteem of the first group was less influenced than the group led to believe that the investigator was sincere, uncalculated and attuned to them as individuals. #RandolphHarris 7 of 9

Another basis of credibility is the assumed consensus of other people’s attitudes towards us. Some dissensus, of course, is inevitable, since every other person sees us from a somewhat different perspective. What, then, is the effect of such consensus or dissensus among others on our self-attitudes? In an ingenious experiment, the investigators attempted to change the subject’s views of two self-concept components—one on which consensus was believed to be high, the other on which consensus was believed to be low. If low, the self-concept component proved easy to change, but if high, it was much more difficult to change. The idea that we see ourselves as others see us is thus a generalization in evident need of refinement. The degree to which it is true depends on how much the judgment of the other is valued and trusted. Certain broader implications of this fact may be suggested. For example, if individuals neither value not trust the judgments of fake news practitioners toward them, but do value and trust the judgments of their close friends and good family members, then wide spread prejudice will not necessarily damage self-esteem of people being targeted. #RandolphHarris 8 of 9

 Heavenly Father, thank you for sending us your Spirit, you open the way to eternal life. May our sharing in this gift increase our love and make our faith grow stronger. Send your Spirit to cleanse our lives, please. May we live in ways that are pleasing to you, and may you bring us eternal life. God, you are our solace in the face of daily life. We pray that you will guide our hearts away from the darkness and fear and into the light. Our souls long for the fullness of life, which will be revealed to us. Give us permission to enjoy what we are doing. Thank you, God, for teaching us that the greatest thing a human being can do is really love another human being. And we do not take the risk of loving because we know the odds are not fair. To make a thing of shared joy takes two people, both of whom are willing to give themselves to that common construction or creation. Each knows that at any moment either one of them can ruin it. Each knows that neither one of can make it make it beautiful, or good, or joyous alone, but alone either can make it bad, destructive, unhappy. God, thank you for guiding us to live virtuously. #RandolphHarris 9 of 9

I Have Been Struck by the Way that Most People Finally Say Good-Bye!

The final good-bye does not involve words, almost as if words lone are insufficient to communicate their true feelings. The ideas that people gather over time about what a couple is supposed to be like is derived from overt messages and less direct influences from their family, neighborhood, school, ethnic community, racial, religious, and class identity. Management of feeling and expression enhances the functioning of groups by allowing continuity of action, building solidarity among members, and indicating status differences. Expressive control allows collective action to continue without the situation becoming redefined as the interrupted action or novelty that emotional arousal implies. To further highlight this illustration, expressive control suppresses the potential embarrassment in intimate examinations by a medical professional. Nonemotional voice tines and other nonintimate gestures suppress stress, giving the interaction a routine, technical meaning. A similar display rule in public settings shields onlookers from intimate gestures that would disrupt civil comportment. Kissing, fondling, and other gestures between lovers are normally prohibited in public settings. Intimate expressions remind onlookers that they are being excluded from a desirable relationship. Violators of this display rule are usually the young, tourists, and others who disregard public sensitivity. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7

The most simple and direct type of human communication does not need words. Let us awaken tomorrow with all our zest and seal by embracing and creating life. Sentiment management can build group solidarity. The disruptive effects of envy are controlled universally by belief systems that proscribe envy, and by norms that diminish conditions for envy. These norms require that enviable goods be concealed from observation, that people show humility over good fortune, and that enviable objects or events be shared symbolically or materially. Solidarity can also be enhanced by evocation of humor. Laughter and humor among hospital patents has been observed to be invitations to decrease social distance, emphasizing shared experiences and common definitions of the situation. The liberating effect of joined laughter consists in the consensus that it brings about in a brief span of time. As soon as humans discovered the existence and function of the heart, they recognized that it was influenced by human companionship and love. Most of us have, at one time or another, felt our hearts beating rapidly when we are close to those we love or, occasionally, when we have been offended by others. Many of us have felt our heart sink, as if pressed by some crushing weight, after the loss of loved ones. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7

The psychological impact of suddenly finding oneself a patient in a hospital can be devastating. Lying in bed with needles in one’s arms, tubes in one’s chest recording every heartbeat on a television screen, being forces to use a bedpan, threatened with imminent death, rendered totally helpless and dependent on others—the experience is shattering.  As his heart blips ominously on a television screen next to his bed, a patient’s life is reduced to a few essentials. What does it all mean? Is he going to die? Would he have done anything differently? The World of the patient’s wife or children or loved ones is also reduced to a few stark essentials, for the man or woman they visit in such a unit may not be alive the next time they come back. What do you say in such circumstances—what can you sat to help—what is important to communicate? The very existence of units that house people faced with the imminent possibility of death helps outline in stark simplicity certain elementary facts about life. One of those is our basic need to communicate.  We ought always to thank God for you, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7

God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you, and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. Assumptions are ideas which one holds to be true without any proof that they are true—things that are taken for granted. Some people are more gifted at living than others. They do have an effect on those around them, but the process stops there because there is no way of describing in technical terms just what it is they do. Expression management is a continual affirmation of a group’s structure of status and deference. We may claim statuses by displaying affective coolness when greater involvement would ordinarily be expected. Some male groups admire men who can attract and conquer a beautiful woman without becoming involved, or who can engage in homosexual prostitution while displaying affective detachment. Business managers are expected to control their emotional reactions, in contrast to ordinary workers who are not believed to be able to do so. The value of humanistic psychology is not limited to the mentally unwell. Its techniques can be useful in your life, but they should not be used to manipulate other people. Psychology can be most useful in helping you to become more fully human. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7

High status includes the power to elicit beneficial and optimistic gestures from subordinates and to inhibit their hostile expressions. Smiling and laughter are usually offered upward in statues hierarchies, ostensibly indicating pleasant, egalitarian relations and concealing status differences temporarily when the later have invited a decrease in social distance. In traditional Far Eastern cultures, a subordinate is expected to conceal anger or sulk when criticized, and to mask these feelings by showing pleasure at being corrected. In contemporary New World societies, women are more likely than men to smile, even when angered or frustrated. Women’s initial facial expression of anger is masked or covered up instantly. Groups manage sentiments through the kinds of information they allow to enter open awareness. Growing numbers of physicians now recognize that the health of the human heart depends not only on such factors as genetics, diet, and exercise, but also to a large extent on the social and emotional healthy of the individual. A fully human person values human beings above material goods, and feels strongly that human rights are far more important than material rights. These also recognize they have a capacity for enjoyment and pleasure, and they try to be real and open in their relationships with others. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7

People who are fully human are willing to risk another person’s reaction to his or her open expression of feelings. They use openness and authenticity, not to manipulate or control, but to share knowledge of oneself with others. Hatred is sustained by emphasizing an enemy’s perceived negative qualities, overlooking or explaining away anything favorable, and then directing hatred toward this contrast conception. Love between parents and their grown children may be strengthened by limited contact that allows earlier conflicts to be forgotten. Generational gaps in attitudes and behavior are accentuated by accurate knowledge about each other, weakening love bonds. Selective recall is sometimes a conscious feeling-management technique. College men reported control over jealousy by prohibiting any mention of their girlfriends’ previous lovers. The couple jointly censured anyone who indiscreetly disclosed information about the woman’s earlier relationships. Sentiments are managed by sensitivity and avoidance within the social framework of memory. “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you to, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders so that you will not be dependent on anybody (1 Thessalonians 4.11).” #RandolphHarris 6 of 7

When faces with danger or the threat of danger, human beings can derive an enormous sense of comfort from their fellow humans. Whether the danger is artificially contrived in a laboratory or part of the infinite variety of real life stresses, human beings instinctively seek out each other’s company in adverse circumstances. In all our distress and persecution, we are encouraged about you because of your faith. For now, we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord. How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you? Night and day, we pray most earnestly that we may see you again and supply what is lacking in your faith. Now may our God and Father himself clear the way for us to come to you. May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you. May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and virtuous in the presence of our God and Father. When someone’s life is in mortal peril, the medical effectiveness of proper care is well documented. Incidence of sudden death dropped by 56 percent in hospitals that are trained to properly treat a person’s symptoms and offer emotional support. Also, it is clear that the heart of human relationships and human love ultimately moves belong anything that can be objectively described or measured. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7