Home » Pakistan (Page 44)
Category Archives: Pakistan
The Prisoner’s Dilemma is the Best-Known Game of Strategy
The World is incredible and there are so many amazing opportunities available to a large percentage of people. Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. This may perhaps be surprising, for most people—at least those in the Christian cultural tradition—are likely to think that beliefs in God and in immortality must go together. They are inclined to take it for granted that the main if not the only point of immortality—and sometimes perhaps of God, too—is to provide inordinate rewards and punishments. People tend to resist accepting evidence that contradicts their beliefs. Sometimes however, they have no choice. Eventually, people admit that Ariel the Little Mermaid does not exist. Belief perseverance, the persistence of notions people already accept, is a powerful thing. Motivated to protect self-esteem and avoid feeling foolish for believing incorrectly, people can ignore inconsistencies, make up rational-seeming explanations, reject new evidence, or otherwise justify sticking to their original beliefs. They might be right to do so. The new evidence might be wrong. Beliefs can be wrong, too, though. #RandolphHarris 1 of 9
A belief is a probability judgment that links some object or concept to some attribute. The terms object and attribute are used in a generic sense and both terms may refer to any discriminable aspect of an individual’s World. For example, I may believe that cigarettes (an object) are harmful to health (an attribute) or that my quitting smoking (an object) will reduce my capacity to work (an attribute). The content of the belief is defined by the object and attribute in question, and the strength of the belief is defined by the person’s subjective probability that the object-attribute relationship exists (or is true). An attitude is a bipolar evaluative judgement of the object. It is essentially a subjective judgment that I like or dislike the object, that it is good or bad, that I am favorable or unfavorable toward it. Once again, the term object is used in a generic sense. Thus, I may have attitudes toward people (exempli gratia, smokers), institutions (exempli gratia, the Federal Trade Commission), events (exempli gratia, the release of the Surgeon General’s report on smoking), behaviors (exempli gratia, my quitting smoking), outcomes (exempli gratia gaining status in the eyes of my friends), and so on. #RandolphHarris 2 of 9
An intention is a probability judgment that links the individual to some action. An intention is also an impulse for an action which has already found approbation, but whose execution is postponed for a suitable occasion. An intention can be viewed as a person’s belief about his or her own performance of a given behavior. Intentions can be general (exempli gratia, I will quit smoking) or specific (exempli gratia, I will not smoke any cigarettes at John’s party tonight), and they vary in intensity. Like other beliefs, intentions are usually measured by obtaining some index of the individual’s subjective probability that he or she will perform the behavior in question. Now, in the interval thus created, sufficient change may take pace in the motive to prevent the intention from coming to execution. It is not, however, forgotten, it is simply revised and omitted. For the case in which a specific behavior is to be predicted, the individual has certain beliefs about the probable consequences of the specific act that are the determinants of the attitude toward that act. In addition, the actor attributes specific behavioral expectations to references groups, individuals, or other social agents. #RandolphHarris 3 of 9
The totality of these expectations as perceived by the individual constitute the subjective norm concerning the behavior in question. Thus, a person’s behavior and one’s subjective norm. It is important to emphasize norms and attitudes are predictive of behavioral intentions. Thus, the ability of attitudes to predict behavior is dependent upon the strength of the link between behavioral intentions and behavior. One variable that can have an effect on the strength of the relation between behavioral intentions and behaviors is the time that has elapsed between the measurements of the intentions and the observations of the behaviors. Among the problems involved are the stability of the independent variable (intentions) and the operation of unanticipated situational factors that reduce the relationship between the variables of immediate concern. If I resolve in the morning to carry out a certain intention in the evening, I may be reminded of it several times in the course of the day, but it is not at all necessary that it should become conscious throughout the day. As the time for its execution approaches, it suddenly occurs to me and induces me to make the necessary preparation for the intended actions. #RandolphHarris 4 of 9
If I go walking and take a letter with me to be posted, it is not at all necessary that I, as a normal, not nervous individual, should carry it in my hand and continually look for a letter-box. As a matter of fact, I am accustomed to put it in my pocket and give my thoughts free rein on my way, feeling confident that the first letter-box will attract my attention and cause me to put my hand in my pocket and draw out the letter. This normal behavior is a formed intention corresponds perfectly with the experimentally produced conduct of a persons who are under a so-called post-hypnotic suggestion to perform something after a certain time. The suggested intension slumbers in the person concerned until the time for its execution approaches. Then it awakes and excites the action. However, other variables can effect the strength of the link between intentions and behavior. First, an individual has to have a high degree of correspondence in the levels of specificity at which both behavioral intention and behavior are measured. Second, this relationship depends upon the degree to which the individual’s behavior is under volitional control. Contextual variables do limit the choices available to the actor. #RandolphHarris 5 of 9
There is some evidence that the incorporation of measures of personal normative beliefs (that is, the degree to which individuals feel that they personally should perform the behavior in question) would improve the predictive power of the model. The situational variables may alter the individual’s beliefs about the consequences of the behavior which, in turn, will result in a change in attitude. The situational variables may alter the individual’s normative beliefs which, in turn, will result in a change in the subjective norm. The situational variables reduce the association between behavioral intentions and behavior. Therefore, if the link between behavioral intentions and behavior is tenuous, then a mode that predicts behavioral intentions may be of limited interest to those still concerned with the prediction of behavior. That is why staging a crime and predicting how an individual will respond, then by passing a jury trial and sentencing an individual based on a likelihood that they will respond as predicted is unlawful. People often base predicted behavior on how they would respond and it may not be an accurate prediction for the target because there may be other variables at play which have not be considered. #RandolphHarris 6 of 9
Dispositional factors are combined measures of attitudes with measures of personality traits, values, beliefs, or perceived norms in the attempt to explain additional variance in behavioral criteria. Also, the probability of attitudinal change is greater when the individual is unfamiliar and not highly involved with the attitudinal object. Such results suggest that predicting the behavior of the uncertain, uninvolved, and uninformed may require knowledge of more variables than are needed to predict the behavior of those who are certain, involved, and informed. Behavior can be more predictable when one considers attitudes toward the particular act toward a particular object. Situational variables prove that even if attitudes are highly stable, salient, personal characteristics, we should not expect high correlation between attitudes and behaviors under all conditions. Attitudes have predictable relationships with behavior to the extent that the actor has reliable expectations of the behavioral situation. However, it is hard to imagine anyone playing Prisoner’s Dilemma outside the laboratory. Two completely rational individuals might not cooperate, even if it appears that it is in their best interest to do so. There could be underlying factors, such as moral, values, logic, finances, and health that would act as inhibitors. #RandolphHarris 7 of 9
Even when situational variables also have been manipulated by a number of investigators in an effort to explore the impact of such variables on attitudinal-behavioral consistency, there could still be some strong inhibition to reacting as predicted. Even though, consistency can be influenced by direct interpersonal pressures and apparently by anticipated behavioral visibility or disclosure. Individuals who are informed and involved are resistant to attitudinal change. Therefore, staging crime and treating the victim’s response as a geometrical proof is not only illegal so you can convict them based on algorithms and predictions, can lead to a criminal conspiracy because it is an abuse of justice and it is not what the criminal justice system is about. No one should be able to abuse the law in such a matter just to seek revenge. In addition, such an act would take several parties to produce and would leave behind a lot of evidence as to what actually occurred and once the conspiracy is unraveled, all of the participants will be punished. We have seen cases where a criminal seeks revenge on the victim and spends years plotting the perfect take down and gets others involved. #RandolphHarris 8 of 9
People in high positions of authority and in prominent positions may help to facilitate the criminal in getting revenge on one’s target, but in doing so they are aiding and abetting a criminal in the commission of a crime, which means not only are they supporting the criminal and deeming his or her criminal act as acceptable, but they are now also an accessory to the crime itself. An accessory is a person usually not present when the crime itself is committed, but he or she has knowledge of the crime before or after the fact, and may assist in its commission through advice, actions, or financial support. Someone aids and abets a crime if he or she knows of the perpetrator’s unlawful purpose and he or she specially intents to, and does in fact, assist, facilitate, promote, encourage, or instigates the perpetrator’s commission of the crime. At some point, the group involved in the conspiracy has to admit they are wrong, but more than likely, they will keep playing the game, which has become a criminal conspiracy until they are arrested. “All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish (Isaiah 41.11).” #RandolphHarris 9 of 9
Don’t Insult the Guest in Your Own Home
Heroes and villains are largely defined by their treatment of others. “I don’t hate my dad. I feel sorry for him. But Clint is always taking things differently. I always felt like I had to be the middleman. I gotta…pull everybody together. I never wanted to be anything other than a baseball player. That’s it. I never thought about anything else. Whenever we played ball, we felt important. Whenever we played ball we were happy. Everything changed, and I don’t know why or when it did. I just know that it isn’t there anymore (Lane Winston).” Groups that are part of a person’s life identity will ensure conformity to basic values during a vulnerable condition of the individual, typically in childhood in the socialization process. The family becomes the strongest group, one that can accept deviations from many standards, secure in the ultimate adherence of the individual. Consequently, if a split occurs, such as the disowning of a child, it is most severe and traumatic. A similar situation occurs in the community; since communities are defined primarily by contrast to other groups and by their strong boundaries, the principal opinions for which conformity is required are those that assert identity of the group. #RandolphHarris 1 of 10
In the Film, Touching Home (2010), starring Ed Harris shows the enduring importance of groups, in our society, in this case, the importance of the family in socialization. The film is based on a true story. Ed Harris plays Charlie Winston, who has two twin sons, Lane Winston and Clint Winston, and the boys love baseball. It is their dream to grow up and become major league baseball players. When the boys were around eight years old, the police had to bring them home from their baseball game late at night in the rain. When they got there no one was home to greet them. They had won a trophy that night and left it on the table for their dad with a note that read, “FOR YUO DAD.” When Charlie got home, he saw the trophy, and picked up and threw it across the room. After he realized what he had done, he tried to glue the trophy back together with Elmer’s glue and passed out on the couch. Charlie’s sons, Clint and Lane woke up, saw what he had done, fixed the trophy, put it on the top shelf of their closet. “Everything is going to be okay, Lane. We just have to stick together,” said Clint, as the boys turned off the closet light and went back to bed. #RandolphHarris 2 of 10
Clint and Lane end up going to a community college where they play baseball. However, Clint’s grades dropped below mandated level and he lost scholarship and was kicked out of school, even though scouts had been looking to draft him. Lane also gets kicked off of the baseball team that same day and the boys had to go back home. They were ashamed that people would tease them for not being able to make in out of their small town and for having to come back home. Clint and Lane went to work at the quarry with their father, Charlie to save money so they could go to Arizona and try out to play baseball. At this point, Charlie is working every day and lives in his truck, which he parks in the woods. After work, Charlie askes the boys to join him for dinner at the “Redwood Restaurant.” They agree, but telling him that he cannot drink. However, later on, Clint refuses to go to dinner with his dad because he is afraid of being disappointed and Lane goes alone. The Redwood Restaurant is actually a wooden park bench in the forest, right by where Charlie parks his truck. Charlie and Lane share four cans of cold Chef Boyardee Beef and Cheese Ravioli by lantern light and have a pleasant meal. #RandolphHarris 3 of 10
Apparently, Charlie has a drinking problem, but has cut back to one beer a day. He lives in his truck because all of his money is spent paying restitution to the courts. However, we can see the optimistic effects of group memberships is displayed here as Charlie recognizes that the family serves as a source of comfort and protection, and assertion of identity in the community, so to reestablished his role as a father and responsible member of the community, he conforms to societal norms as closely as he can. Clint and Lane love their father and can see that he is a good man who has made some mistakes, but is trying to overcome them. While they are back at home, the boys end up living with their grandmother and they pay her rent, as the boys work to save up to go to Arizona for baseball try outs. Clint is really enthusiastic about saving up money, so he moonlights (gets a second job) at a laundromat. Lane spends more time with his father than Clint does. However, Lane’s priorities change as he spends more time in town when he meets a young lady name Rachael, and he wants to use his money to buy a car to impress her because he starts to doubt his ability at succeeding as a baseball play. #RandolphHarris 4 of 10
What is amazing about Lane is he is not embarrassed of his father at all and takes his girlfriend, Rachael and even shows her were his dad lives. Clint is not embarrassed, but they have some issues that need to be worked out. Clint has about $4,000.00 saved up, but Lane does not want to play baseball anymore, so the boys fall out and their friends tell them that they are twins and two halves of one thing and that they should stick together. Everyone can relate to how hard it is when there are barriers to your goals and how sometimes an individual gets tired of trying and experiencing up and downs in relation to their goals and just wants to give up. And it is nice that the boys have family and friends who care for them and they can stay in town and make a living. In a way, it is refreshing that in this small-town people are not as materialistic. And as fate would have it, Clint gets a wrench thrown in the program just when he is about to leave town. Clint sneaks into his room and steals the money. When he gets to Per Mill Creek Saloon, he shows the guys a picture of his twin boys that he has been carrying in his wallet since they were about three years old. Everyone tells him that his boys are good-looking. #RandolphHarris 5 of 10
After looking all of Clint’s money gambling, Charlie gets arrested and the Sheriff calls the boys down to come get their father. However, Charlie begs the officers to take him to jail, but they refuse to because no one got hurt. Charlie then tells his boys he is sorry and they take him home. The boys had been out when they got the call, so they did not know the money was missing, but after they drop their dad off, they go back to their grandmother’s house and Clint finds the jar of his money on the floor empty. He goes to confront his dad, and beats him up, Lane shows up and pulls Clint off of their dad. It just seems destine for the boys to stick together and perhaps that is why Charlie stole their money? Nevertheless, at work, Charlie passes out and the boys have to take him to the hospital, and Clint says he hopes his dad dies. Although the words are harsh, one can understand how it feels when a family member or someone you do not know robs you of your future and your hopes and dreams and all your time and effort seems to have gotten you nowhere. However, everything in life happens for a reason and sometimes we cannot see why God closed certain doors, but it may be to protect us from something. #RandolphHarris 6 of 10
Nonetheless, when you question if your parents love you or if someone makes you feel like you are alone and that even your family member who has passed away did not love you, and they are not around to defend themselves, think back on all the things they did for you and realize money is not everything. It turns out that Charlie had a binder full of newspaper articles about his sons and their accomplishments and it always made him feel better when he would look at it. Now, that is true love. Charlie is like a true American man, it is in his blood to work, in fact, it looks like he is working himself to death, but that is what keeps him alive. That is his love for his sons because it seems like he is barely hanging in there. Any outsider can tell that he seems to be just clinging to life. However, to his sons, Charlie is like a superman and will live through anything. They do not realize that he is getting older and that he is not as strong as he used to be. Clint and Lane do not really grasp the concept that their father is mortal, like most young people. Charlie ends up cleaning up his life and buying new clothes and going to therapy for his problems. #RandolphHarris 7 of 10
He takes his sons for baseball try outs again, and Lane almost got drafted, but scouts did not want to take a chance on him because he hurt his ankle during tryouts and they did not draft Clint because he was throwing 87 miles per hour and they needed the radar to clock him at 90 miles per hour. So, the family comes together and has Christmas together and Charlie tells his boys that he wishes that he was a better father and promises to pay them back every penny. After dinner, Charlie makes up an excuse to leave. The next morning the sheriff goes to get Charlie out of his truck to take him to therapy and finds him dead under a tree. The film did foreshadow Charlie’s death especially through reliving of the emotional undertones, and the intense emotional experience of chasing after dreams and the twins potentially being separated. However, it seems that Charlie took the money because he knew he was dying and he wanted time with his precious boys and knew he would not be around to protect them and that it was vital for them to stick together. Therefore, the experience of blowing the money was to get a few more moments of joy out of life and to protect his family, it was not sought for its own sake, not simply as a means to an end. #RandolphHarris 8 of 10
The time Charlie got to spend with his sons, his mother and his brother over Christmas was a movement that was very powerful, educational, and therapeutic. It was a tool for solving individual problems and for bonding. Clint and Lane buried their father under and Oak tree, and said their good byes. It was so important for them to have closure and a place where they can go to remember their father and communicate with him and show him respect. Clint finally gets his tooth fixed and they boys go to Arizona together for baseball tryouts. It was a very emotional movie and a great show. By the ending, I silently cried and had to wash my face and blow my nose. It was so touching. This film shows you how important families are and that forgiveness is a virtue. I am happy that Clint and Lane got to spend time with their father before he passed into Heaven, so they do not have to live with a hole in their hearts. Charlie may not have been a perfect father, but he loved his family and tried hard to overcome his affliction. Once a person is dead, that is it, they are gone, and your live is forever changed. Therefore, enjoy your family while you have them. #RandolphHarris 9 of 10
Acceptance is the calm recognition of the loss and the ability to carry on. Not everyone who suffers a loss reached this stage. “I told you of a place that I had been. It was dark and I was supremely alone. No matter now if the compass fails again because in your love, I built a home. We’re all we need, oh darling. Yeah, we’re all we need. Most certainly I’m where I’m supposed to be. In a molten Sun, with you I am free. Today our hearts won first prize because we’re wise with the feeling. Yeah, we’re all we need (We’re All We Need by Above and Beyond).” God, we ask you for your forgiveness for the wrongs that we have done and for the things that we have neglected. We ask you forgiveness for the people we have hurt along the way and those who we have failed to love as you Love. We ask for your forgiveness. God, we receive your forgiveness and resolve in our hearts that with your strength we determine not to make these errors again. God, we receive your forgiveness and by the power of your Holy Spirit, we walk away from everything we know to be wrong and embrace everything we know about you for the Kingdom, glory, and the power are always and forever yours. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 10 of 10
I Don’t Want it!
A variety of interpersonal and intrapersonal processes lead people to underestimate the degree to which the personality of others is in varying degrees from one relationship to another. They also help to explain why outsiders often misjudge the character of a relationship. Not only are many facets of a relationship shrouded in privacy, but an outsider’s view is greatly colored by his or her relationship with each partner. The partners are different persons to some extent when interacting with the outside observer than they are when interacting with each other. Also, each partner’s assessment of a relationship, like its form, is unique, dependent as it is on the distinctive characteristics of the persons involved and the history of the relationship. Relationships are occurring at two levels, the cognitive and the emotional. People may experience a variety of feelings and engage in particular behaviors they feel belong with a specific type of relationship. Their responses reflect individual differences in personality, including their responses reflect individual differences in personality. They also reflect shared cultural and subcultural definitions of the appropriate feelings and behavior of person who are linked in a particular relationship, as friends, as lovers, as parents and child, and so forth. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
Attractions appears to be augmented by both unpleasant as well as pleasant experiences. Emotional arousal whatever its source, optimistic or pessimistic, maybe experienced as attraction or love and is likely to happen because of the existence of an ideology in Western culture that suggests how persons in the early phase of a heterosexual relationship are supposed to feel. These ideas about how a person should feel and behave when in love are reflected in popular songs and literature throughout the Western World. I have often wondered because of the media, do people actually understand their own emotions, feelings, attitudes, and beliefs, or are the just being programmed by the media and do not understand it? “I want all my clothes designer, I want someone else to buy them. If I can’t get it right now, I don’t want it. Give me all of your attention, give me Summer in the Hamptons. If I cannot get it right now, I don’t want it,” are the lyrics of a song by Kim Petras called I Don’t Want it at All. The lyrics are significant because it shows the attitude of many youth and adults today. They want fancy things and your love, but are not willing to work for it or wait. Society has become increasingly materialistic and focuses on products and instant gratification. After all, people are willing to spend ten hours waiting in line to buy a $1,000.00 phone just because it is new. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
We are raising a bunch of Machiavellian persons, and they consider their goals to be of prime importance. The more extreme the Machiavellianism, the greater harm the person will be ready to indirectly (or perhaps directly) inflict on others to achieve their own goals. If parents were serious about helping their children retire in the future, that $1,000.00 could be put in a wealth account, and at a 6 percent a year interest rate over 65 years, it would produce $44,145 in tax-deferred savings. That is enough for a retired person to live on for a year. Also, the existence of a wealth account from birth would encourage more saving. Delaying gratification and spending can be beneficial. And if parents or grandparents invested $20 more a month, for twenty years, when the child retired that account would be worth over $240,000.00. It requires mindful planning and self-reflection to accomplish bliss within your life. When people go to work they goal is to create more freedom and happiness. The Holy Spirit works sanctification in our mind and soul in the present, and our Heavenly Father will align our minds with our spirits, so we are happier. The more we align our thoughts, will, and emotions with our flesh, instant gratification, and materialism, the less joy we experience. We must renew our minds daily in order to align our thoughts, will, and emotions with the Holy Spirit. And we are happiest when that worthy purpose is the kingdom of God. Labor much in the spirit, wrestle with God in mighty prayers, that he will pour out his Spirit upon you. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
Attraction can be explained in some part based on what is generally acceptable or thought of as normal. Love occurs as a rule in heterosexual relationships rather than in same sexed ones because of our culture encourages the labeling of states of arousal and consequently the experiencing of emotions in the form of love. The development of identity interdependence, along with sexual exploration and other activities typical of courtship, leads to both pleasurable and, at times, uncomfortable states of arousal. The heightened expectations concerning these matters fostered by romanticism, and the uncertainty of their realization, may explain why the intensity of feeling during this early phase of the initiation and consolidation of a relationship is followed by a more placid phase where uncertainty and unevenness in the rewarding quality of experience are replaced by certainty and routine, and the feeling between partners become more like those identified as companionate love. Companionate love is a kind of bond that is characterized by a deep commitment to one another, such as in a long-term marriage where the passion has left but not the deep affection for one another. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
The intensity of feeling characteristic of romantic love or passionate love does appear to recur, either where the situation is heavily laden with supporting cues and definitions, for example, a second honeymoon, or during periods of heightened physiological arousal. A variety of interpersonal and intrapersonal processes lead people to underestimate the degree to which the personality of others is in varying degrees different from one relationship to another. They also help to explain why outsiders often misjudge the character of a relationship. Not only are many facets of a relationship shrouded in privacy, but an outsider’s view is greatly colored by his or her relationship with each partner. The partners are different persons to some extent when interacting with the outside observer than they are when interacting with each other. And that is why married men are sometimes deemed more attractive than single men. Not only are they stable, but outsiders see how nice they are to their wife and children and it paints a picture that makes a man look monogamous and stable and that is what people look for in a mate. Whereas, single people seemed to be influenced by popular culture and are just looking for instant gratification and materialism. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
Commitment can be both viewed as a process and a state of mind. Perhaps because homosexuality is not seen as something desired by parents, many children repress their true feelings and marry the opposite gender because they feel it is the right thing to do. Not that I question Kevin’s sexuality on the situational comedy This is Us, but he was not ready to settle down with his girlfriend because he was not really happy with his life and he forced himself to go buy her three engagement rings, and showed up at her door step, but ended up tell her that he saw nothing but misery in their future because he was not happy with his personal life and did not want to be forced into a marriage, but would marry her if that is what she wanted. That just might explain why companionate love is what happens to most people after years of marriage. They just stick together because it is comfortable and they are committed to each other. Also, because opposite sex couples are deemed as more normal, it could by why homosexual tend to display characteristics that are not in alignment with their gender roles. Perhaps they assume they need to emulate a different gender role to be homosexual. For instance, most gay men are very flamboyant and call each other girl. Whereas a lot of gay women tend to be masculine. Acts of commitment not only increase outcomes and resulting attraction, but are also inherent in the development of power within a relationship. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
Walk after the Holy Order of God
The powerless are frequently canny observers of the workings of society and active agents of resistance. Ongoing subordination is the product of other people’s continuous efforts to dominate, and even the powerless participate in this matrix of domination when they work to protect their privilege, meager as it may be. The development of methods for studying groups has been helped as well as hindered by the peculiar position of the group in human thought. Typically, the motivation for studying groups has been to do something about them, and the methods proposed combine analysis and action. Only when work is further developed can analysis and action be separated. Sociometry, one of the earliest examples of a method designed for the study of groups, was invented by a Dr. Jacob L. Moreno (1889-1974) as an adjunct to psychiatry. Sociometry means the socius—the interpersonal connection between two people. Using the organization of institutionalized groups as a therapeutic device is a method of Sociometry. Sociometry consists of asking individuals about their associative preferences in taking specific actions, such as playing football, making masks, or rooming with others in a house. Examining choice rationales presents other challenges. People tend to be uncomfortable with the process because, for example, they believe that feelings may be hurt or they are confused by their own ambivalences and lack of awareness of their reasons. #RandolphHarris 1 of 5
The purpose is to organize groups by asking people why they make the decisions they make and what things the like and dislike in an effort to put people in groups that they can relate to. Unlike psychology, sociometry does not ask questions and then assume they know the answers, there is an emphasis placed on correctness. However, in some cases, even with a variety of criteria, the results can become so complex that the data is never used. Some people look at participation in experiments as playing a game. The experiment is an activity that is free, separate, uncertain, governed by rules, unproductive, and make-believe; these are the characteristics of games, and such experiments are called analyses of games. The task of the experimenter is, therefore, to have people play a game in which certain generalizable relationships are exhibited. The experimental group does not need to resemble any group functioning in society. The extreme conditions may never be as clear-cut in actual life; what is wanted is the understanding of the effect of particular variables, not a simulation of social conditions. The action is a new creation, invented particularly for the purpose of study. For this reason, however, it represents the general attributes of groups, those aspects that all groups—regardless of their origins—have in common. My soul will always know the power of God’s healing love. #RandolphHarris 2 of 5
God’s greatest desire is for us to see a clear picture of his character. When we see God, we will see him clearly, and find that his love is irresistible. As we begin to experience God’s love, our own lives will start to make more sense. Frequently I think of the church I belonged as a child. It is Elmhurst Seventh-Day Adventist Church, located on 9658 Thermal Street in Oakland, California 94605. The Pastor is Kietrich Germany, Head Elder is Alvin Moses, and the Head Deacon is Arthur Nervis. We used to always go to church early in the morning on Saturday, and it was a tall beautiful white castle, the former Mormon church. Inside there was a lot of beautiful mahogany wood, and these huge stained-glass windows that when the Sun would beam through, the would be cascades of gorgeous colorful rays of green, yellow, read, and blue light that used to make me feel warm and smile. Every time I think of the church we used to belong to and the pledge we made to give our lives over to God, I remember it was God’s sanctuary. And contemplating about it makes me want to devote myself with even greater dedication to the beliefs we share and the community. Sometimes God’s voice speaks through stories, and they teach us how to handle the troubles we face. Others fill us with hope, love, and peace. Each of them is like a personal letter from God to us. #RandolphHarris 3 of 5
My soul longs for the fullness of life, which God will reveal. The family is one of the oldest and most persistent forms of human association. Among its most intriguing characteristics are its biological necessity, the permanent affiliation of its members, it history through the members’ lives, and the strong bonds, beneficial and negative, that hold members together. The main characteristic of the family is the extension of the individual through time. This characteristic links the individual with one’s ancestors and descendants, providing continuity, and transmits the biological as well as social and cultural traits. The family has been a favorite metaphor for group formations and even larger human associations. Thus, within organizations, we see some groups characterized as families or even as siblings or cousin relationships; and even in more abstract relations we find phrases like job families, or colonies referred to as daughters of the mother homeland. Dr. Freud stressed the importance of the family. He used the term family romance as the basic story that humans let play out over and over: the relationship to the mother and then to the father are the basic conditions of human socialization, as well as of its failures. All human associations are models of the family, and develop historically from it. #RandolphHarris 4 of 5
Now, we must understand that the word of God is liberal unto all, and no one has been deprived of the privilege of assembling themselves together to hear the word of God. God loves us and wants to give us all the highest quality of life imaginable. God does not want anything to get in the way of our relationship with him, and we were designed with special talents and skills that have helped us become the uniquely valuable beings that we are. We have built sanctuaries, and we do assemble ourselves together to worship God. We do believe that God will save all people. Nevertheless, the children of God have been commanded that they should gather themselves together, and have mighty prayers on behalf of the welfare of the souls of those who do not know God. God’s love is about you. God has a very special plan for your life. It is a plan with hope, love, peace, and activity that will result in priceless salvation freely and fully without limit. You are all the children of a king. I pray that we all experience eternal life, peace, purpose, forgiveness, transforming grace, an increase in faith and unconditional love. Life is so wonderful that we all want to hang on to it. As we build our faith in God and grow older, we see how much more valuable life is. We know that God’s tender compassion is with us, and we trust God’s promise of eternal life. This is the holy order according to the revelation of the truth. #RandolphHarris 5 of 5
How Come He got the Holy Ghost and Not Me?
There are three ways for language to affect us. It can move us toward what is good; it can move us toward what is evil; or it can, in hypothetical third place, fail to move us at all. What a dream has told us of our relations to the present (reality) we will then seek also in our consciousness, and we must not be surprised if we discover that the monster we saw under the magnifying-glass of the analysis is a tiny little infusorian. For all practical purposes in judging human character, a person’s actions and conscious expressions of thought are in most cases sufficient. Actions, above all, deserve to be placed in the front rank; for many impulses which penetrate into consciousness are neutralized by real forces in the psychic life before they find issue in actions; indeed, the reason why they frequently do not encounter any psychic obstacle on their path is because the unconscious is certain of their meeting with resistances later. In any case, it is highly instructive to learn something of the intensively tilled soil from which our virtues proudly emerge. For the complexity of human character, dynamically moved in all directions, very rarely accommodates itself to the arbitrament of a simple alternative, as out antiquated more philosophy would have it. #RandolphHarris 1 of 10
And what of the value of dreams in regard to our knowledge of the future? That, of course, is quite out of the question. One would like to substitute the words: “in regard to our knowledge of the past.” For in every sense a dream has its origin in the past. The ancient belief that dreams reveal the future is not indeed entirely devoid of truth. By representing a wish as fulfilled the dream certainly leads us into the future; but this future, which the dreamer accepts as his or her present, has been shaped in the likeness of the past by the indestructible wish. Awaken our souls! No longer droop in sin. May our hearts rejoice an give place no more for the enemy of our souls. May the gates of Hell be shut continually before us, because our hearts are broken and spirits contrite! God, do not shut the gates of your righteousness before us, that we may walk in the path of the low valley, that we may be strict in the plain road! God, please encircle us around in the robe of your righteousness! Lord will you make a way for us to escape from our enemies. Will you make our path straight before us! God, please will you not place a stumbling block in our way—but will you clear a way before us, and hedge not up our way, but the ways of our enemies. #RandolpHarris 2 of 10
It was not just a scare tactic employed by our church. I wanted God to show himself to me, so I had no choice, but to get worthy and become a person God paid attention to, before it was too late. I wanted God to be my best friend, so I made it my goal to mention him every day and thank him and tell him what I desire. It is important that we maintain a deep, personal faith. God loves us and he protects us. This makes us want to be good to others. It is generally accepted that all life on Earth has been created by God exactly as it exists in the present, and the belief that life forms cannot change is known as fixity of species. The plan of the entire Universe is viewed as God’s design. The argument from design explains that anatomical structures were planned to meet the purpose for which they were required. Wings, arms, eyes, and so on, fit the functions they perform, and nature was a deliberate plan of the Grand Designer. Also, many people believe that the Grand designer had completed his work fairly recently. An Irish archbishop called James Ussher (1581-1656) analyzed the begat chapter of the Book of Genesis in the Holy Bible and determined that the Earth was created in 4004 B.C. #RandolphHarris 3 of 10
Behold, my soul delights in the things of the Lord; and my heart ponders continually upon the thing which I have seen and heard. Archbishop Ussher was not the first person to suggest a recent origin of Earth, but he was the first to propose a precise date for it. And this date was so important to people, that for decades, book printers put in it Bibles, in the margin next to the Genesis account of the creation. This idea that we have been exposed to has impacted our lives in the most profound way possible. The prevailing notion of Earth’s brief existence, together with the fixity of species, provided a huge obstacle to the development of evolutionary theory because evolution requires time, and the idea of immense geological time, which today we take for granted, simply did not exist. Lord, we have trusted in you forever. We will not put our trust in humans as our saviors; for we know that cursed is one who puts their trust in the human as an idol. Yeah, cursed is one that puts their trust in humanity or the strength of human beings. Yeah, we know that God will give liberally to one who asks. Yeah, our God will give us, if we ask not amiss; therefore, we will lift up our voice unto God, as he is the rock of our righteousness. #RandolphHarris 4 of 10
Behold, our voices shall forever ascend up unto God, our rock and our everlasting God. Truth is the stubborn, objective restraint which evil endures to overcome. Base rhetoric is therefore always trying to keep its objects from the support which personal courage, noble associations, and divine philosophy provides individuals. Naturally enough, examples of the typical base rhetorician are the journalist and political propagandist, who especially avoid true dialectic and the concept of acts without agents; indeed, these features now also apply more closely to the so-called mental-health professional than to anyone else. Contrivance [that is, of base rhetoric] occur on every hand in the impassioned language of journalism and political pleading. In the World of affairs which these seek to influence, the many are kept in a state of pupillage so that they will be most docile. Nothing is more feared than a true dialectic. By discussing only one side of an issue, by mentioning cause without consequence or consequence without cause, act without agents or agents without agency, the cause-and-effect reasoning is blocked. #RandolphHarris 5 of 10
Small groups, as a feature of the social environment, is a convenient place to study many social phenomena; they are laboratories of social life, literally so in the experimental work of social psychology. This, each group represents a reality of social life, in addition to exemplifying more abstract principles of group dynamics. As the base rhetorician uses language to increase his or her own power, to produce convert to his or her own cause, and to create loyal followers of his or her own person—in contrast, the noble rhetorician uses language to wean people away from their inclination to depend readily accept anything they hear without proof, facts, and comprehensive consideration. We also encourage people to think and speak clearly so that they can be their own masters. The rhetoric at its trustiest sense [that is, noble rhetoric] seeks to perfect people by showing them better versions of themselves, links in that chain extending up toward the ideal, which only the intellect can apprehend and only the soul have affection for. This is the justified affection of which no one can be ashamed, and one who feels no influence of it is truly outside the consciousness of the Lord. If we know what happens to one particle, we can predict better what will happen to the other. This can be just as true in the description of a physical object as of a social unit. #RandolphHarris 6 of 10
It is possible to save time by turning people it the sources of spiritual power in their cultural heritage. We can define member of a social group in a similar way, for instance, by saying that is one member’s opinion is changed, this will affect the opinions of the other members of the group. This, of course, is just as true of different parts of the individual, for instance, of various organ systems, or of larger units of a society, of social classes, or of ethnic groups. The unity of groups is just as real as the unity of any other object we may specify. An individual cannot help his or her age; one can only express that it is doomed. And this is the only way in which one can bring help to it. The science of psychoanalysis has not yet acknowledged that human beings come in two genders. However, there is also an ungendered species of humans who do not accept the way they are born and are brained washed into thinking they are something other than what is described by their natural biology. All that is true and noble lies concealed in the origin. As nature is the origin of human life, so language is the origin of human creativity. #RandolphHarris 7 of 10
The base rhetorician seeks to move people toward evil; since it seems to be the nature of people that he or she wants to go to Hell as quickly as possible, it is not surprising the effective base rhetoricians can greatly accelerate this process for millions, and tens or even hundreds of millions of persons. After all, many individuals try to drive people into slavery, as if they are nothing more than human capital. And it makes sense, people who harvest organs value a healthy human being at about $1 million because that is how much they can get by illegally harvesting and selling organs. African American young men, for some reason, are especially vulnerable to these practices. We must urge people to be better than they are, the noble rhetorician cannot possibly succeed in changing those who prefer to remain as they are or become evil. Indeed, because our task is to bring people to themselves, not to us. Therefore, we should be judged on our clarity which we proclaim our counsel. Should not a single person heed our advice, the noble rhetorician will still have to be judged successful in proportion as we succeed in perfecting our own soul by perfecting our own language and behavior. #RandolphHarris 8 of 10
Success is purifying one’s self by purifying one’s own language. Did you know people who drink a lot of alcoholic beverages can develop gout in both legs and will eventually be confined to a wheel chair? It is fruitful to look at the small group as an extension of an individual in space or time. After all, the individual could not exist without the tradition of human culture as it has been developed, or without any other fellow human beings to keep one in the human condition. Many traits that makes us human are only developed and take on meaning from association with others, and from their meaning beyond individual lives. Examples of this would be the capacity for language and for nonverbal communication, the agility necessary for tool use, which depends on cooperation, and the capacity of the young to learn the culture of their society. The young, especially, by being born unprotected and needing a social group for a long time, assure human continuity. A child learns that obtaining real satisfaction is possible only through the medium of another person, and thus the circle between perception of a need, such as hunger and its gratification includes signaling and influencing another person who can supply nourishment. Dr. Freud constructed an early model of this interpersonal relationship as a basic part of the individual self. #RandolphHarris 9 of 10
These scriptures, which you had not with you, the Heavenly Father commanded that we should share them with you; for it is wisdom in one that they should be shared for generations. In many other ways, the development of a complete human being is emotionally as we as instrumentally incomplete without direct interaction with others. Social atom is distinct from physical atoms. Groups can be studied according to their common features as types of social atoms. One can also classify groups into different types according to their function in the social World, and according to some characteristics, such as their existence in time and space, the relationship between the members and between groups, or by abstract characteristics. And God did expound all things, even from the beginning until the time that he should come in his glory—yeah, that all people, and all kindreds, and all nations and all languages shall stand before God, to be judged of their works, whether they be good or whether they be evil—if they be good to the resurrection of everlasting life; and if they be evil, to the resurrection of damnation. May we all be found to be good. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 10 of 10
A Performance Expectation–Live a Great Story!
Fifteen minutes a day, for one year adds up to over ninety-one hours. Lord, it is good for us to be here. It is good for all of us to have been here. We pray that the same sweet spirit which has prevailed will continue with us, and that our record of prowess and skill are forever safe, as the group is task-oriented, patient, caring, thoughtful, and good at listening. In the interior of our consciousness, each of us has a private hall of fame reserved exclusively for the real leaders who have influenced the direction of our lives. This means that the members envision future events or states of the World that their present activities may help bring about or prevent, and they define some possible future events or states of the World as success and others as failure. We need not assume they know exactly what constitutes success, merely that they assume that when the time arrives they will know whether they have succeeded or not and that their present activities are related to the future outcome. The leader whom we admit into this private sanctuary of our reflective experience is usually those who set our hearts afire with devotion to the truth, who makes obedience to duty seem the essence of humanity, who transforms some ordinary routine occurrence so that it becomes extra ordinary and we see the person we aspire to be. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
The group task is at least partially intrasystemic. This means that the standards for evaluating success or failure are developed within the group rather than being imposed from the outside. An ambiguous task (for example, writing a story to accompany a picture) is one case of an intrasystemic task, but even tasks for which there are clear objective standards may be intrasystemic, if the group is able to redefine the meaning of a particular outcome or the importance of the task (“he has a bad day,” “we really care about that after all”). The crucial point is that the rules for evaluating a task outcome are developed by the same persons who are part of the power and prestige structure. Adam, the first man to live upon the Earth is worthy of being in our personal Hall of Fame. Adam was obedient unto the commandments of the Lord. Adam qualifies. We want to be right for God. It is important to be virtuous and there are terrifying consequences for the alternative. It helps if we have a big imagination and can see further than the present moment, which means we have to have a clear sense of the consequences of our actions, even when we think no one is watching. The Church always preaches about God is coming, and what if you are in sin at the exact moment he arrives? That is a horrifying thought. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
The group members are collectively oriented. This has two components: one, that the group members are interdependent, that is, they need to take into account other member’s acts; and two, that it is legitimate to seek and give advice, to be influenced by or attempt to influence others. The term collective orientation as used here does not precisely mean cooperative orientation (all goals shared so that something that rewards one group member rewards all). People could have a collective orientation in some cases of competition; in fact, there are competitive elements in face-to-face groups, especially the competition for time and attention imposed by the necessity to limit talking to one person at a time. Because of time constraints and the unknown time when God will return to Earth, many people do not want the moment of sin and the moment of reckoning to be the same. What if the Rapture comes and you are left behind? The Lord has commanded us to live by his convents, and he shall prepare a way for us that we may accomplish them. Negative reactions often lead to disagreements, but not always, for groups sometimes try to avoid having to resolve conflict and simply ignore or redefine the issue. Influence is defined as the direction of the resolution of a disagreement; the person whose idea is accepted is said to have influenced the one who accepts it. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
People with the greatest desire to succeed will stand a greater chance of reaching his or her goal. The term influence is not synonymous with control; a person whose performance output is accepted without challenge has obviously exercised control over the group, but since there was no disagreement, influence has not occurred. In determined people, we can see the difference between knowing and doing. Those who really desire to reach their goals will do whatever they must do in order to achieve them. Let us not just talk about what we want to be. Let us not just dream about what we want to be. Take action to reach your goals, you may have to work harder than you ever have worked before in your entire life. God wants us to tell him, with all honesty, that we have worked harder than anyone else we know. That we have tried as hard as we can to live right, do good, and succeed. This desire should be enough to help us to improve a little or greatly. God sees everything, so we cannot lie to him. He knows what we are doing at all times. In whatever we want to improve upon, whether if it is a project at work, school work, or studying the scriptures, just give it a little extra time—every day. Even if it is just an extra fifteen minutes. Remember how well-spent time can add up. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
A performance expectation is a prediction about the quality of a performance output of a group member. Do not quit. We are all going to have hardships and setbacks. However, our Heavenly Father will not give us a hardship that we cannot overcome. An individual may hold a performance output of a group member. An individual may hold a performance expectation for his or her own behavior (a self-expectation) and/or the behavior of another (other-expectation). The value of an expectation is defined as high (prediction that the performance output will move the group toward success on its goal) or low (prediction that the act will move the group toward failure on its goal). As children of our Father in Heaven, we can have setbacks of sin. However, we must never quit or give up faith. Heavenly Father has provided a way to overcome spiritual setbacks through the great gift of repentance. God truly loves us and wants to forgive us. All we have to do is to go through the process of repentance, and we will triumph over our transgressions. It is important for us to set our goals very high, for if we do this, our intermediate goals will be easier to reach. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
Let us not settle for mediocrity. We should always try our best. The concept of expectations is basic in sociology, and its use as a fundamental building block of theory marks expectation states as distinctively sociological. Let us decide now what type of person we want to be, and when a difficult situation comes along we will be prepared to pass the test. Performance expectations are predictions of quality only, rather than including predictions about for or content of behavior. We must keep a proper perspective on our goals. Let us never lose sight of God and his words of wisdom in pursuing our temporal ambitions. We have signs enough that there is a God. There are testimonies from men and women of the church, and also all the holy prophets. There are the scriptures laid before us, and all things denote there is a God, right? Even the Earth, and all the things that upon the face of it, right? And the motions, yeah, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator. People know in their hearts that there is a God and they will testify that God exists. Dear God in Heaven, please bring your Kingdom to Earth and help heal our unobservable mental and physical states, and bless our dreams and goals so that they may come true. Thank you. The National Anthem is a song sung to God, and it is thought that his presence is near when it is sang. Therefore, to sit or kneel in the presence of God, without being told by a figure of authority, shows extreme disrespect for the Lord. After all, this is God’s House. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
Your Own Resolution to Succeed is Most Important
We want our words to echo for eternity, and be looked up to as people who always strive to be honest as often as possible with people. It is important for us to examine our lives, determine where we are and what we need to do to be the kind of person we want to be. We come to know ourselves and qualities assigned to the internal environment because of our responses. Self-perception is perfectly compatible with usually socially defined. This arises from the continual pressures to attain perceptual economy, maintain stable orientations to the invariant features of variegated experiences, and ensure predictability of events. If we have to attend to the peculiarities of all stimuli manifestations that we encounter, that task alone would overload our capacities and leave us no time to process the inputs and coordinate responses to them. Furthermore, we would be stuck with a meaningless flux of unique and nonrecurrent events that would make anticipation impossible. Lately, I have reflected on many of the wonderful experiences I have had in my life. As I have expressed gratitude to my Heavenly Father for these marvelous blessings and opportunities, I have realized perhaps more than ever before, how critical the formative years of my life were. Many of the most important and life-changing moments of my life occurred when I was a young man. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
The lessons I learned over the past few years have formed my character and shaped my destiny. Without them, I would be a very different man and in a very different place than I am today. I know many great men and women. Although they have different backgrounds, talents, and perspectives, they all work diligently and persistently towards achieving their goals. It is easy to get distracted and lose focus on the aspects that are most important in life. It is important to prioritize values that are important to us so that we can keep our eyes focused on the aspects of life that really matter. Create inspiring, noble, and righteous goals that inspire your imagination and create passion in your heart and excitement in your soul. And then keep you mind constantly focused on your goals, working towards them consistently so that you can achieve your dreams. The imposition of constancy demands a rather sophisticated implementation of an interpretive system of relation judgments regarding distance, location, movement and so on. It is this categorization of stimuli into the objects with dispositional qualities and knowledge of the lawful relationships among the properties that enables us to progress to prediction. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
The Light of God helps us to discern right from wrong. When we allow temptations to drown out the still voice of our conscience—that is when decisions become difficult. Awareness of what things are is apprehension of how they fit into an orderly sequencing of events: the characteristics of objects are defined by the causal system connecting them. The advantage for prediction of events is obvious: active adjustment and manipulative intervention are facilitated. If we advance confidently in the directions of our dreams, and endeavors to live the life which we have imagined, we will meet with success. When it comes to temptation, say “No!” instantly and emphatically. Avoid temptations. Persons who occupy special status as sources of origins of activity attend to its apparent goal-direction. Activity sources in the inanimate World, such as volcanoes, may explode erratically, but the consequences of the eruption (for example, the lava flow) are grossly predictable and therefore avoidable. However, if a person explodes with anger over something we have done, avoidance of the ensuing harmful consequences is not such a simple predictive matter. An angry person many succeed in harming us in a number of alternative ways, any of which can be adjusted to take account of the avoidance activity we might take. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
Personal causality possesses equifinality. Equifinality means that there are many paths to the same end—there are multiple ways to reach a final goal. The means are varied, but the eventual goal is invariant. The dispositional imputations that permit us to predict this goal is invariant. The dispositional imputations that permit us to predict this goal and take adjustive action to adapt to contingently variable means depend upon our identification of the purpose and intents of the actor. Thus, the dispositional qualities that lend stability, coherence, and predictability to the interpersonal environment involve judgments of aims, wishes, desires, emotions, motives, and other qualities not imputed to the impersonal environment. We glean how the individual attributes dispositional characteristics to others. Symbolic interactions view the person as perceiver of one’s World. Role-taking provides a much clearer understanding of the impact of others’ presence (real, imagined, or anticipated) on an individual. Role-taking refers to a central process by which actors take into account the others’ responses to them. The actor needs to take into account, not only the dispositional qualities of the other, but the dispositions the other attributes to the actor. For this reason, an actor’s perception of the other takes on a reactive quality. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
We all possess spiritual gifts. Some are blessed with the gift of faith, others the gift of healing. The importance of others’ dispositional attributions becomes obvious if we think about the total reinforcement we in experience in our everyday lives. Much of it flows directly from other persons (acceptance, affection, approval, and so forth) and most of the remainder is mediated by them. During the developmental years this dependency is even more intense. It is during that period that, through the process of role-taking, the self emerges, and the person learns to control and evaluate his or her behaviors. In the same way, the person learns the processes that are effective in self-monitoring and self-evaluation. The importance of others’ dispositional attributions becomes obvious if we think about the total reinforcement we experience in our everyday lives. Much of it flows directly from other persons (acceptance, affection, approval, and so forth) and most of the remainder is mediated by them. It is during that period that, through the process of role-taking, the self emerges, and the person learns to control and evaluate his or her behaviors. In the same way, the person learns the processes that are effective in self-monitoring and self-evaluation. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
How do we know if we are wise or foolish? When we hear inspired counsel, we obey. That is the test of the wise or foolish. From our perspective the paramount thing learned through the process of role-taking is how the self will be responded to by others. As we have seen, others’ reactions are a function of the dispositional inferences they make about persons and their actions. Thus, it is evident that in order to anticipate, much less control and manipulate, these responses, the individual must come to view his or her own activity from others’ (dispositional) perspectives. Since the ultimate referents of these perspectives are internal qualities, it follows that individuals learn about their internal environment by the same reflexive process. In short, they learn to see themselves in the same dispositional terms and to view their activities and actions as expressing these attributes. The adoption of this perspective transforms mere behavior into conduct. Therefore, they separated themselves one from another, and went forth among them, every person alone, according to the word and power of God, which was given unto one. We give thanks to our Creator, God, for this wonderful life where each of us has the opportunity to learn lessons we could not fully comprehend by any other means. Lord, please let us meet our dreams, bring us success, justice and peace. Let us see your greatness in amazing ways. You are an amazing God. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
May Happiness Fill Your Heart Each Day
Nothing can bring more joy to life than beautifully fulfilling relationships. Once persons actually begin to interact, whether their relationship continues to develop will depend not only on the anticipated outcomes of further interaction, but on the actual outcomes that partners begin to experience as they interact. These outcomes in turn depend on the development of stable patterns of exchange, which can be conceptualized in terms of a structure of interdependence. This interdependence can be analyzed at three levels. At the first or behavioral level, structure consists of the stable patterns, routines, or combinations of behaviors that make up the day-to-day activities of the pair. The second or normative level of structure consists of the norms and shared understanding that constitute the somewhat unique role structure of the relationship. The third or personal level consists of each partner’s personality characteristics, general attitudes, and elements of self relevant to, or embedded in, the relationship. As the relationship grows and the facets of each partner’s individuality that are created in that process of growth develop, the depth of meaning, understanding and appreciation that relationships bring is almost unfathomable. #RandolphHarris 1 of 8
Communication is so important because it is the vehicle that allows us to verbalize what is inside us and enables it to connect with another person. One person is feeling one thing and through communication, another person can find that out and feel it too. Persons do not respond only in terms of their own outcomes, but in terms of the overall pattern of outcomes, which includes those of their partners as well. This tendency is particularly strong in relationships based on attraction. Not only are the manner in which interdependence is resolved influence the exchange of outcomes between partners, the rewards and punishments, self-imposed or received from others, are affected by norms that prescribe how persons should respond in situations involving interdependence. People seem to consider emotional interdependence as a healthy feature of romantic relationships, emphasizing the necessity of being on the same wavelength. It helps partners to coordinate their behaviors and thoughts, making them able to collectively respond to situations that demand action. Additionally, it increases mutual understanding and feeling validated by the partner, promoting social cohesion, attraction, and sympathy. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8
Turning emotions to one another is supposed to be related to relational well-being, and more specifically to relationship satisfaction and empathic concern. Vicariously experienced outcomes also influence the ways in which persons respond to interdependency, because as a relationship develops the affective reactions of partners become increasingly salient. Partners help to maintain each other’s emotional stability, which is known to be critical for psychological well-being. It is important to focus on and honor the strengths you gain from your relationships. There are often buried treasures waiting to be acknowledged. Healthy relationships increase your sense of belonging and purpose, boosts happiness and reduce stress, and improves self-confidence and self-worth. A good partner also encourages healthy lifestyle habits, such as eating properly and getting exercise. Also, formal check-ins could strengthen the bond between partners. Weekly meetings—one to talk about household responsibilities and another dedicated to more intimate issues—may help both partners feel more validated, respected, and comfortable. #RandolphHarris 3 of 8
People resolve the conflict between their own interests and that of their partner in a characteristic manner. Thus, some persons may be basically competitive, tending where possible to maximize their own gains in relation to their partners’. Others may tend toward a cooperative resolution and choose to behave in a fashion calculated to maximize joint outcomes of the partners, and still others, altruistic, and choose to coordinate their actions with those of their partners so as to maximize the outcomes. Curiosity is a vital part of any important relationship. The more you can cultivate your curiosity about other people in your life, the more you will move toward them. Curiosity will also lead you to feel more secure with the people you are close to because you will have a pretty good sense of what they are likely to think, feel, say, or do. Each relationship develops, interpersonal dispositions emerge that are distinctive to that particular relationship. These arise in part from intraindividual processes of attribution, as each reacts to the manner in which the other chooses to behave in recurring situations of interdependence, and in part from interpersonal processes of identity negotiation. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8
You have probably been appreciative of the people in your life who have been curious about who you are. That is because it feels good to have someone ask you how you are doing, and know that he or she is asking a real question; that the person is curious enough and cares enough about you to want a real answer. It is a way to give of oneself and show another a deep sense of love and caring. Persons tend to infer from particular acts the existence of underlying causes or dispositions within the individual to behave in certain ways. Thus, when a person chooses to engage in an activity that is not particularly rewarding to one, but is rewarding to one’s partner, the latter is likely to infer that the person is a considerate person who generally tends to respond to the needs of others. Uplifting traditions play a significant role in leading us toward the things of the Spirit. Those that promote love for God and unity in families and among people are especially important. We are inspired by the wisdom of each person who has molded a career which properly supports one’s premier responsibility to spiritually lead one’s family when wealthy and power are more highly valued by the World. #RandolphHarris 5 of 8
On the other hand, persons perceived as acting exclusively in terms of their own outcomes are labeled inconsiderate or selfish. This tendency is attributed to an underlying disposition to the partner was particularly marked where the acts of one person had negative consequences for the perceiver. As the supernal nature of our life begins to be understood and experienced, we desire nothing temporal to impede our celestial journey. Becoming more aware of oneself in relationships could help one overcome one’s challenges with intimacy. Developing your awareness about yourself in how you connect to your friends, family, children, parents, siblings, coworkers, and others is an important part of learning from one’s success. As one becomes increasingly aware of who one is in various relationships, one may see some very consistent patterns or one may notice that one has more varied relational styles depending on the person one is thinking about. Some people may be very gentle and clam in relationships with people who need one’s support. However, when such an individual is with people who are less vulnerable, he or she may lack self-confidence and it may cause an individual to become capricious. #RandolphHarris 6 of 8
Conflict and negotiation in a relationship can occur at any level and generally tend to spread from one to the other as persons attempt to work out solutions to their problems of interdependence. In general, the spread is upward. Persons finding themselves at odds at the behavioral level may attempt to resolve this appeals to norms and role expectations. If they agree that following a particular rule or role prescription is appropriate in the situation, the conflict may be resolved at that level and no further negotiation becomes necessary. If there is still lack of agreement, the conflict spread to the personal or identity level where each attempt to modify the attitudes and other dispositional characteristics of the other person in a manner that will resolve the problems of interdependence at the lower levels. Thus, the husband who tends toward dominance in relations with others, including his wife, may as a result of processes of identity negotiation begin to change at the dispositional level, allowing him to feel more comfortable in a more equalitarian portrayal of the husband roles, which is reflected at the behavioral level by his assuming more of the routine household tasks. #RandolphHarris 7 of 8
It is important that we make ourselves worthy of the loveliest person in all the World. We must keep ourselves worthy through all of the days of our lives. That obligation begins with absolute loyalty. Although it is reasonable to expect conflict and negotiation to spread upward from one level of interdependence to the next, both from what is known about attribution processes and the tactics of altercasting and from the fact that solutions at higher levels often provide the basis for solving problems of interdependence at lower levels, this tendency may have deleterisity of conflict is likely to increase because modification at high levels involves rewards and costs tied to central elements of identity and because the tactics employed at these levels often involve attacks on these elements. Just as identity creation is basic to the growth of a relationship, identity destruction generally accompanies its decline. There must be absolute loyalty, undeviating loyalty one to another. May flowers always line your path and Sunshine light your day. May songbirds serenade you every step along the way. May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that is always blue. And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through. #RandolphHarris 8 of 8
Peter My Mink is Dragging on the Floor
A stunning first impression is not the same thing as love at first sight, but surely it is an invitation to consider the matter. We are drawn to people, inspired by them, and even strengthened by their examples. If first impressions are sufficiently favorable, persons will be motivated, when they begin to interact, to provide behaviors that will result in favorable outcomes to the other, and to the degree each is successful in this respect, they become progressively motivated to provide rewards that will maintain the relationship. Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. One of the most important rewards that persons exchange as a relationship develops is support for each other’s view of themselves as persons, their self-concepts. How do you and I become so converted to the truth, so full of faith, so dependent on God that we are able to meet trials and even be strengthened by them? A fundamental purpose of Earth is personal growth and attainment. We will have challenges, even difficulties, where decisions of great importance must be made so that we can grow, develop, and succeed in this mortal test. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7
Gratefully, God’s love is perfect. God has moved so deeply in the hearts of so many. Some people regard unconditional love is something that is real, and the most real things there is. The most consistent finding in the empirical literature on attraction is that persons are attracted to others whom they perceive as accepting them as they see themselves and who allow them to behave in a self-validating manner. Thus, in the early phases of interaction, each person begins tentatively to reveal one’s self to the other. The process of self-disclosure involves first, information about the self that each feels relatively confident about and relatively certain that the other will find acceptable. We may disclose information about our intellectual aptitude, or athletic abilities to see how we relate to others. This type of comparison helps us decide whether we are superior or inferior to others. Disclosures about abilities or talents can also make us more relatable to others. For instance, 80 percent of people find faithfulness as a top attribute they find attractive about a person. A sense of humor is important and it makes people seem more intelligent. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7
For long relationships, individuals tend to prefer others who are altruistic, kind, and do good deeds. Being involved in a charity is seen as a really attractive trait. Other studies have shown the people with dogs are generally more attractive also because they have a capacity to love and care for another being over a long term. We want to make ourselves open to others, through self-disclosure, but we also want to maintain a sense of privacy. If someone knows too much about you upfront, it might impede them from going further in the relationship because they see it as too much of a risk or hassle. Later in the process of self-disclosure, persons revel more intimate details about which they are less confident, hence in greater need of social validation, and which they are less certain will be regarded favorably. Revelations at this level play an important part in the process of self-creation. As a relationship develops, each person feels sufficiently secure to try out or tentatively display new elements of identity. Such displays may take the form of revealing hitherto private hopes and fears about the self, or more indirectly, of recounting to the other past or current episodes of behavior where the person behaved in a fashion viewed as confirming some nascent element of self. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7
Studies of the self-disclosure process generally find that, in the early part of a relationship at least, each person tends to pace the process of disclosure by revealing to the other information about the same level of intimacy. As in any other exchange, persons feel obligated to adhere to the norm of reciprocity. To the extent that one person’s revelations at progressively more intimate levels are increasingly rewarding in terms of signifying regard and trust to the other partner, the latter feels obligated to return revelations thought to be of equal rewarding value. However, disclosures that are too intimate often highlight character, personality, or other kinds of sensitivity information, thus decreasing congeniality. People who make intimate disclosures too early in relationships are often perceived as insecure, which further decreases someone’s interest in them. One time I was walking by a fancy Italian restaurant, and two guys in their forties were on what seemed to me as their first date, and one of them was telling the other guy about how painful his recovery from cancer was. The guy he was with replied, “Oh, gees,” and picked up a bread stick and ate it. He seemed rather pensive and I got the impression that it would probably be their last date. The process of self-disclosure contributes to another basic interpersonal process, the growth of trust, which in turn further facilitates more intimate disclosure. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7
While there is not complete agreement on a definition of trust, a key element appears to be a sense of certainty that the trusted person will not behave at some point in the future in a way that endangers anticipated favorable outcomes of the trusting person. When first dating, you want to make an individual feel good and talk about things that make them happy. It is like you are selling yourself in a sense. People have options and they do not want to get attached to someone who might drain them of their emotional or financial resources. Each person’s revelations of progressively more intimate details concerning one’s self, and their acceptance and confirmation by the other, give assurance that any resultant vulnerability will not be exploited, either because both partners are equally vulnerable or because each perceives the exchange of progressively more intimate details as a sign of increasingly close interpersonal ties. Generally, as the details get more intimate, that means that the emotional bond in the relationship is probably increasing. So, when the relationship seems to be getting more serious, that is a good time to tell a person sensitive information about yourself that might affect them wanting to have a long-term commitment with you, and that is only fair. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7
More than likely if a person cares enough and can deal with it, then they will likely continue in the relationship because they are already emotionally and somewhat financially invested. For instance, some people have commitment issues and cannot figure out whether they want to move to another part of the country or go back to school, or even just a plan to get a cup of coffee with a friend. One might be reluctant to disclose that he or she has problems making choices, from something as small as choosing what movie to see, to something more significant like signing a lease for house. The fact that persons perceive the intimacy of disclosure as indicative of attraction allows the self-disclosure process to function as a pacing device in the development of a relationship. By the depth of disclosure to another, a person may indicate one’s degree of emotional involvement in the relationship. While our emphasis so far has been on the manner in which self-disclosure allows for maintenance and creation of self-elements, an extremely important reward, self-disclosure provides each partner with information concerning other outcomes as well. Persons learn what kinds of behaviors have reward value to each other and which behaviors are costly. This information, in turn, can be used as a guide in arriving at mutually satisfying patterns of exchange that become a part of the structure of interdependence that constitutes the relationship. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7
As you get to now a person who seemed to be commitment issues, you might begin to understand that person has a lot going for one’s self, and just needed to meet someone who is trustworthy. That individual might be optimistic, loving, and a sincere individual who wants to settle down. People are capable of changing, but not until they are ready to understand how things are controlling their lives. It requires both willingness and openness to new insights and new activities before one is able to take the first step in successfully challenging relationship issues. God has given us the capacity to exercise faith, that we may find peace, joy, and purpose in life. However, to employ its power, faith must be founded on something. There is no more solid foundation than faith in the love Heavenly Father has planned. Lord, make us an instrument of your peace. Grant that we may not so much seek to be loved as to love. God, who from among all your angels, chose the Archangel Gabriel to announce the mystery of the Incarnation, mercifully grant that we who solemnly remember him on Earth may feel the benefit of his patronage in Heaven, who lives and reigns for ever and ever. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7
I Remember Looking through the Tears towards the Sky
You go off and leave me here with nobody home. The concept of compromising in a relationship is something that many people have to do. However, there is an emphasis placed on the instability of relationship involving persons of different choice status or popularity, the more popular person tending to leave the relationship because of the availability of more attractive alternatives or, when remaining, tending to exploit the person of lower choice status which encouraged the latter to leave. Overall, people tend to be attracted to those of similar desirability, at least in terms of physical attractiveness. Middle-class individuals of the dominant group take into consideration the satisfaction of socioemotional needs as being central to the relationship of marriage. The core features of emotional development include the ability to identify and understand one’s own feelings, accurately read and comprehend emotional states in others, manage strong emotions and their expression in a constructive manner, to regulate one’s own behavior, to develop empathy for others, and to establish and maintain relationships. Spouses needs for trust, stability, communication, intimacy, and interpersonal sharing must be met. When these needs are cared for, the marriage can become purposeful beyond its own parameters. #RandolphHarris 1 of 8
Housing prices have increased on average nearly 50 percent over the last decade, so among working-class couples socioemotional needs may not be as important as they are with middle-class couples. Parents, younger generations and those living in lower-income households report higher levels of stress than American overall, especially when it comes to stress about money. As a result, people with lower-incomes may put up with more socioemotional instability because they are struggling to pay the bills, as is, and need their partner to meet their financial obligations. However, that does not mean that just because people are suffering from an economic disadvantage that they will put up with abuse. Studies also show that many low-income couples are unhappy because of the financial hardships they face, so it may not be a problem in the love department. Also, low-income people living alone have higher living costs, which can make them bloody miserable. It can be an utterly horrid lifestyle, which may seem like a punishment on the socially inept and inadequate. They cannot afford holidays, nor can they afford to live anywhere better than what some might describe as student hellhole flats, as they do not have a partner’s credit to draw upon and furnish their place to a polished enough standard. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8
Disabled people are the World’s largest minority and because of that they are very much misunderstood. Not all disabled people get around in a wheel chair, some have injuries that are not visible, which might be the result of an accident or illness or they may have been born that way. Individuals who have invisible disabilities face discrimination and microaggressions. Financial exploitation of adults who are elderly or disabled is an increasing problem. It is good to look out and to help those in our communities who are elderly or have disabilities. After all, it is everyone’s business to stop adult abuse, neglect, and exploitation. 16.3 percent of adults have a physical functioning difficulty. There are 77 million adults aged 18 and over with at least one basic actions difficulty or complex activity limitation. To make sense of the World around them, they build upon their individual experiences and knowledge. However, performing daily activities may be challenging for these individuals. These challenges may interfere with social well-being and cause distress. Young adults with physical limitations are less socially active and have fewer romantic relationships than their peers who do not have physical limitations. It is through hardships of life that we grow toward Godhood as our character is shaped in the crucible of affliction, as the events of life take place whole God respects the agency of humanity. #RandolphHarris 3 of 8
The physical impairments may limit the ability to participate in actives with others. And also, because young adults with physical disabilities are already suffering from problems, they often spend every day thinking about how will condition affect them as they age, and will their situations become too much for them to handle when they are senior citizens because they may not be as strong as they are not. Because of that, some people may feel frustrated, angry, or sad as a result of having a physical impairment, especially if they believe those impairments pose challenges to finding a significant other or living independently. Also, a person may not like the place they live, but because of their conditions, unlike most everyone else, they cannot go pick up more hours at work and earn more money to upgrade their lifestyle. And because these people are vulnerable and they may be good at certain things, unscrupulous individuals may use them for their talents, promising rewards, but give nothing in return. However, when the person with the physical limitation stops assisting the individual(s), they may then try to extort that person in order to keep receiving their services for free. People with disabilities do look for opportunities, but are sometimes taken advantage of. The journey through life has had bumps, detours, twists, and turns, mostly as the result of life in a fallen World that is mean to be a place of proving and test. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8
It is important to keep the commandments of God. With love and prayers with can help others learn the compassion and grace of God. Because they suffer from a disability and experience undue hardships and are sometimes are prevented from reaching their dreams, it causes some people to wonder why they are here? This is why we must teach people the love of God. When people really feel the love of God, even though they are experiencing a lot of difficulties, they will be truly happy to be alive. One young man said, “I may not understand why my life has turned out the way it has, and I have no idea where it will go, but serving God is really the best thing ever. There is nothing as wonderful as this. I am so happy. What a joy and marvelous light I behold; my soul is filled with joy as exceeding as is my pain.” As we accept our difficulties and trials with patience and faith and find joy in our covenant path, we are comforted in knowing the Lord knows us. He knows our struggles and concerns. God knows of our desires to serve him with devotion and ambition. And he will guide us and bless us as we do so. Please never feel that you are some kind of second class citizen no matter your limitations. In the Kingdom of God there are no second-class citizens. #RandolphHarris 5 of 8
People who have integrity of heart are people to be trusted—because trust is built on integrity. Earning the Lord’s trust is a blessing that comes through great effort on our part. Trust is a blessing based on obedience to God’s laws. When we keep our promises to the Lord, his trust grows. The rewarding internal state of enhanced self-esteem and the reward of approval from others are also involved in generating attraction in still another way. To gain and maintain the status of normality, persons are expected by others and themselves to have friends and intimate relationships. Regardless of the features of the relationship or characteristics of the persons involved, the fact of having a relationship, such as marriage, validates one’s personal adequacy, heterosexual normality, and personal maturity in the eyes of others as well as of oneself. Although recent trends toward greater acceptance of the single state for adults in our society may indicate a relaxation of normative pressures in this direction, they still exist. Whatever your circumstances or the reasons for them, how wonderful you are. Along the way, you will obtain compensatory blessings, even if they are not immediately apparent. However, we are reminded that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions. #RandolphHarris 6 of 8
Hold out the best hope for the World, including for your future happiness. Self-supplied rewards are not only involved in conformity processes influencing behavior in the early stage of a relationship, they are implicated in other ways as well. Contemporary social learning theory recognizes that persons can, through their control over their own cognitive processes, administer rewards and punishments by imagining certain consequences of their behavior. It is probable that persons contribute to early growth of a relationship by imagining future rewards and by recounting and, in a sense, replaying their imagination early pleasurable contacts with their partners. The considerable preoccupation of each partner with the other during the early stages of the courtship relationship probably involves a good bit of this self-rewarding activity. Although you often feel alone, in truth you are never totally on your own. #RandolphHarris 7 of 8
As you move forward in patience and in faith, providence will move with you; Heaven will bestow its needful blessings. Your perspective and view of life will change when, rather than being cast down, you look up. Feel the sense of greater acceptance of yourself and life, with an understanding heart, and deeper gratitude for what you have. Lord,we earnestly seek after you, we seek your kingdom, your will that Heaven may come to Earth and your presence would be known by all. We lay our plans before you, please rearrange them as you see fit, God. And lead us in everlasting way. We give you the desires of our hearts, our ambitions, and surrender them all to you. God, please anoint them for your purposes and glory. We give your our whole being, our gifts and our character, please come and sharpen our skills and transform our hearts this and every day. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 8 of 8
Randolph Harris II International Institute 