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But Why do You Want an Ornament for the Nursery?—You Who had Your Child Killed!
Concerning self-inflicted injuries of my own experience, I cannot report anything in clam times, but under extraordinary conditions, I do not believe myself incapable of such acts. When a member of my family complains that he or she has bitten his tongue, bruised her finger, and so on, instead of the expected sympathy, I put the question, “Why did you do that?” However, I have most painfully squeezed my thumb, after a youthful patient acquainted me during the treatment with his intention (naturally not to be taken seriously) of marrying my eldest daughter, while I knew that she was then in a private hospital in extreme danger of losing her life. One of my boys, whose vivacious temperament was wont to put difficulties in the management of nursing him in his illness, had a fit of anger and threatened to kill himself: a way out suggested to him by the newspapers. In the evening, he showed me a swelling on the side of his chest which was supposedly the result of bumping against the doorknob. To my ironical question why he did it, and what he meant by it, the twelve-year-old child explained, “That was my attempt at suicide which I threatened this morning.” However, I do not believe that my views on self-inflicted wounds were accessible to my children at that time. #RandolphHarris 1 of 16
My son had been behaving different, ever since he went to the mall with one of his friends from work, and would not tell me why. He had also recently fallen out with the love of his life and they ended their relationship. He locked himself up in his room and was sad, and I could feel his pain. Whoever believes in the occurrence of semi-intentional self-inflicted suicide, there also exists semi-intentional annihilation—with unconscious intention—which is capable of aptly utilizing a threat against life and masking it as a casual mishap. Such mechanisms are by no means rare. For the tendency to self-destruction exists to a certain degree in many more persons than in those who bring it to completion. Self-inflicted injuries are, as a rule, a compromise between this impulse and the forces working against it, and even where it really comes to suicide, the inclination has existed for a long time with less strength or as an unconscious and repressed tendency. Even suicide consciously committed chooses its time, means, and opportunity; it is quite natural that unconscious suicide should wait for a motive to take upon itself one part of the causation and thus free it from its oppression by taking up the defensive forces of the person. #RandolphHarris 2 of 16
Some argue that the only rationally acceptable philosophy is that there is no ethical value in living just any sort of life; the only life that is worth living is the good life. We may define the good differently, but no matter what or conception of the good life is, it presupposes a physical basis—a certain indispensable minimum of physical and social well-being—necessary for even a limited realization of that good life. Where that minimum is failing together with all rational probability of attaining it, to avoid a life that at its best can be only vegetative and at its worst run the entire gamut of degradation and obloquy, what high-minded person would refuse the call of the poet mourir entre les bras du sommeil? We must recognize no categorical imperative to live, but to live well. A common thought is that is life ceases to be a pleasure, the remedy for a free person is to end it because it is regarded as part of human freedom that an individual should only continue to live by one’s own consent. Some philosophers believe that the most excusable incitements to suicide are pain, and the fear of suffering a worse death. In 1644, it was expressed that the prohibition of suicide was merely a part of the economic enslavement of laborers, who could not be allowed to escape from the tasks expected of them. #RandolphHarris 3 of 16
The most excusable cause seems to be an emaciated body, when a person labours under the torture of an incurable disorder, and seems to live only to be a burden to oneself and one’s friends. And in contrast to the view expressed above, some see death as a necessity for the economy. For instance, in China, the population has been aging rapidly, increasing the stress on an already troubled health care system. There is currently 1.4 billion people living in China, the population is expected to grow 1.45 billion by 2050, and the number of elderly people is expected to reach over 330 million by 2050. The problem is many of the elderly are cared for by family and only 2 percent are institutionalized. China also does not have a system that can accommodate the elderly, and many of their children are investing their money into the care of their own children, leaving the elderly to fend for themselves. To afford medication, some of the elderly are cutting back on the amount of food they eat. If the aged and the sick did not die within no long span after they have ceased to be self-supporting, the burden on society will be disastrous. #RandolphHarris 4 of 16
So, therefore, death plays a wholly favourable, indeed, essential part in human economy because the by 2050, China’s dependency ratio for retirees-those aged 65 or older divided by the total working population is expected to be 44 percent. Still, humanitarians, like myself do not believe death is the best option. Euthanasia of humans is indirectly evil, and it leads to the danger of abuse. In America, in 2014, it was ruled that terminally ill patients have the right to have assistance in self-killing, making it legal for a doctor to prescribe a lethal dose of medication to a terminally ill patient. The problem is with the elderly, disabled, and ill to be looked at as a burden on society is dangers because it can lead to abuse; the risk of an incorrect diagnosis, so someone can conduct research, kill their enemy, harvest organs, or steal someone’s material and non-material assets. Also, the risk of administering euthanasia to a person who could have later been cured by new medical developments; and the wedge argument (condoning euthanasia would lead to general disrespect for the sanctity of human life. #RandolphHarris 5 of 16
No great mistake, whether acted or endured, in our mortal sphere, is every really set right. Time, the continual vicissitude of circumstances, and the invariable inopportunity of death, render it impossible. Another problem with euthanasia is that the physician, whether or not he or she may rightfully help to shorten life, may rightfully desist from attempting to prolong the life of a patient in great pain and may rightfully supply or administer pain-killing drugs even though one realizes that their effect may be not only to kill the pain, but also to shorten life. Of all the events which constitute a person’s biography, there is scarcely one to which the World so easily reconciles itself, as to one’s death. In addition, some people are also trying to kill American citizens, so they can steal their identities and sell them to illegal immigrants, then swap identities and no one would know. God alone, it is never lawful for one on one’s own authority to kill the innocent directly. When dealing with suicide, the sixth commandment can be invoked, which is regarded as applicable to self-murder. #RandolphHarris 6 of 16
The mental agony of approaching death is part of the sacrifice that God demands for the sins and faults of life. Suicide is an error on the ground that it affords an apparent and not a real release from the sufferings of life. Such a release is only apparent because the will as a thing-in-itself is outside of space and time, and the person committing suicide cannot destroy the will itself, but only its manifestation at this place and time. At the same time, some do not believe that suicide should be considered a sin nor a crime. It could be considered preposterous to view suicide as a crime when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the World to which every person has a more unassailable title than to one’s own life and person. Although it is now universally conceded to be useless and harmful to punish those who attempt suicide for any reason, because the punishment of one who attempts suicide can only increase one’s depression and render a renewed attempt more likely, prevailing opinion still holds that it is right and efficacious to punish those who knowingly and willfully assist in suicides (or kill with consent), even though they act from the strongest humanitarian motives. #RandolphHarris 7 of 16
There are also cases of apparently accidental misfortune which are now known to me whose surrounding circumstances justified the suspicion of suicide. For example, during an officers’ horse-race one of the riders fell from his horse and was so seriously injured that a few days later he succumbed to his injuries. His behavior after regaining consciousness was remarkable in more than one way, and his conduct previous to the accident was still more remarkable. He had been greatly depressed by the death of his beloved father, had crying spells in the society of his comrades, and to his trusted friend has spoken of the taedium vitae. He had wished to quit the service in order to take part in a war in Africa which had no interest for him. Formerly a keen rider, he had later evaded a riding whenever possible. Finally, before the horse-race, from which he could not withdraw, he expressed a sad foreboding; in the light of our conception that it is quite comprehensible without any further cause that a person in such a state of nervous depression cannot manage a horse as well as on normal days. #RandolphHarris 8 of 16
I was quite agreeable that depression could affect the way ability to handle a horse, only I should like to look for the mechanism of this motor inhibition through nervousness in the intention of self-destruction here emphasized. It is evident that the situation of a battlefield is such as to meet the requirement of conscious suicidal intent with, nevertheless, shuns the direct way. “They said he wished to die.” Suicide is probably a problem of psychiatry or social engineering rather than of abstract morals. The rejection of suicide is implicit in the belief that life is worth living. Another analysis of an apparently accidental self-inflicted wound, detailed to me by an observer, recalls the saying, “He who digs a pit for others falls in himself.” Mrs. X, belonging to a good middle-class family, is married and has three children. She is somewhat nervous, but never needed any strenuous treatment, as she could sufficiently adapt herself to life. One day, she sustained a rather striking through transitory disfigurement of her face in the following manner: She stumbled in a street that was in the process of repair and struck her face against the house wall. #RandolphHarris 9 of 16
The whole face was bruised, the eyelids blue and oedematous, and as she feared that something might happen to her eyes, she sent for the doctor. After she was calmed, I asked her, “But why did you fall in such a manner?” She answered that just before the accident she warned her husband, who had been suffering for some months from a joint affection, to be very careful in the street, and she often had the experience that is some remarkable way those things occurred to her against which she warned others. I was not satisfied with this as the determination of her accident, and asked her whether she had not something else to tell me. Yes, just before the accident, she noticed a picture in a shop on the other side of the street, which she suddenly desired as an ornament for her nursery, and wished to buy it at once. She thereupon walked across to the shop without looking at the street, stumbled over a heap of stones, and fell with her face against the wall without making the slightest effort to shield herself with her hands. The intention to buy the picture was immediately forgotten, and she walked back to the house in haste. #RandolphHarris 10 of 16
I asked her why was she not more careful. She told me it was perhaps only a punishment for that episode which she had confided to me. I could not believe that episode was still bothering her. However, she said that she regretted it very much; and considered herself wicked, criminal, and immoral, but at the time, she was almost crazy with nervousness. She was talking about an abortion which was started by a quack and had to with the consent of her husband, as both wished on account of their pecuniary circumstances to be spared from being additionally blessed with children. She said that she often reproached herself with the words, “You really had your child killed,” and she feared that such a crime could not remain unpunished. After I assured her there was nothing seriously wrong with her eyes, she was quite assured that she had already been sufficiently punished. This accident, therefore, was on the one hand a retribution for her sin, but on the other hand it may have served as an escape from a more dire punishment which she had feared for many months. #RandolphHarris 11 of 16In the moment that she ran to the shop to buy the picture, the memory of this whole history, with its fears (already quite active in her unconscious at the time she warned her husband), became overwhelming and could perhaps find expression in words like these: “But why do you want an ornament for the nursery?—you who had your child killed! You are a murderer! The great punishment is surely approaching!” This thought did not become conscious, but instead of it she made sue of the situation—I might say of the psychological moment—to utilize in a commonplace manner the heap of stone to inflict upon herself this punishment. It was for this reason that she did not even attempt to put probably lesser, determinant of her accident was obviously the self-punishment for her unconscious wish to be rid of her husband, who was an accessory to the crime in this affair. This was betrayed by her absolutely superfluous warning to be very careful in the street on account of the stones. For, just because her husband had a weak leg, he was very careful in walking. #RandolphHarris 12 of 16
If such a rage against one’s own integrity and one’s own life can be hidden behind apparently accidental awkwardness and motor insufficiency, then it is not a big step forward to grasp the possibility of transferring the same conception to mistakes which seriously endanger the life and health of others. Human life is of no more importance to the Universe than that of an oyster. If the disposal of human life were reserved to the Almighty, almost any action would become an encroachment of his privilege. “If I was attacked by a gang and robbed and suffered a fatal blow to the head, I disturb the course of nature and I invade the peculiar providence of the Almighty by lengthening out my life beyond the period, which, by the general laws of matter and motion, he has assigned it to. However, are we not all guilty of extending our lives beyond their natural capacity with medical care, vaccines, and the like? In considering the true nature of God, one must first consider the nature of human beings and the Universe, for without understanding oneself or the Universe in which one lives, how can we approach an understanding of God? #RandolphHarris 13 of 16
Each human possesses a consciousness independent of any other creature. One is aware of a separation between oneself and the World around one. One experiences images, sounds, scents, tastes, and physical forms through what one perceives as one’s physical body. Each one of us also experience thoughts, emotions, and other phenomena which do not manifest either visibly or audibly but which influence us nonetheless and which we perceive as coming from within or consciousness. From the earliest time, human beings have attempted to reconcile this condition of separation from the Universe. Early humans, in terror of the images and sounds which bombarded them from all directions and of the Earth which seemed ready to swallow these beings once more as if the Universe itself realized that is had made a terrible mistake, scared of this thing called life and yet equally scared of death, began to imagine hideous gods and demons all about them. These monsters appeased or else death could be imminent. As human beings survived fire and flood, disease and famine, the anxiety they felt concerning their condition lessened. #RandolphHarris 14 of 16
Humans learned to live and even thrive in a hostile and evil World. Civilizations rose to power and raised animistic deities as gods who now demand worship and sacrifice in return for their beneficence and bleeding. The threat was no longer against an individual human, but against an entire society. To gain the favor of the gods, these deities had to be appeased or else famine, pestilence, or war might come upon a nation and destroy it. Ultimately, the priests of many of these gods decided that their particular deity was the true God, that all other gods were Devils, and that the followers of other gods had to be converted or destroyed. Satan has certainly been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years. On Saturday night, I see men and women at the club lusting after half-naked guys and ladies dancing on the dance floor, talking about “Booty me down.” On Sunday morning, these same people are sitting in the pews with their wives, husbands, lovers, and children, asking God to forgive them and purge them of carnal desires. And the next Saturday, they are back at the club turning tricks. #RandolphHarris 15 of 16
The battle with these demons will either be won or lost. Find out what all of their legal rights are with that person, then get all of them properly taken care of and broken with the Lord, and then the demons will have absolutely nothing else left to be able to hold onto. If those heavier types of sins are being done on some kind of regular basis for quite a long period of time with no intent by the person to try and pull out of it, that means you are committing direct and willful sins against the Lord, and that is a major door opener for demons. Many people believe that God will turn a blind eye to the sin of fornication. However, if by chance you are fornicating with a partner who has demons attached to them, then you will give full legal rights for the demons to be able to come directly after you if God will allow a hole to occur in the protective armor that he has set up on you and your life. Dear Lord in Heaven, you are all our riches, and you suffice for us. God, you are justice and moderation, peace, joy, and gladness. You are our protector and defender, courage, faith, and our great consolation. God, you are our eternal life, Great and Wonderful Lord. God Almighty, Merciful Savior please protect us all, and let people know, young and antiquated that their lives are valuable. #RandolphHarris 16 of 16
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On Predicting Our Future—I Do Not Want to Have a Beer with Him
I came in the World cryin’ and fussin’. We had nothin’. Every ghetto I know is the same. Once I am on top, I am never going to stop. It is impossible to gaze always upon a lovely countenance with equal admiration, for the sense becoming saturated, the heart requires something more—something to interest, to delight, to fix beyond the moment. Take a moment to make a list of your closet friends. What do they have in common (other than the joy of knowing you)? It is likely that most are similar to you in age and the same gender and race as you. There will be exceptions, of course. However, similarity on these three dimensions is the general rule for friendships. Nevertheless, sometimes things are so little different one from another, that there is no making pleasure out of anything, so sometimes people expand their circle of friends to include people from other cultures and genders. The most important thing about friendship is that it is an idle title of a thing, which cannot be where virtue is not established. People have a need to affiliate (a desire to associate with other people) and it is a basic human trait. This is probably because affiliation helps us meet needs for approval, support, friendship, and information. We also seek company to alleviate fear or anxiety. #RandolphHarris 1 of 11
What is the secret mesmerism which friendship possess, and under the operation of which a person ordinarily sluggish, or cold, or timid, become wise, active, and resolute, in another’s behalf? Beautiful people tend to be rated as more appealing than those of average age appearance. This is due, in part, to the halo effect (a tendency to generalize a favorable impression to unrelated personal characteristics). Because of it, we assume that attractive people are also likeable, intelligent, warm, witty, mentally healthy, and socially skilled. Basically, we act as if what is beautiful is good. Physical beauty can be socially advantageous. However, physical beauty is generally unrelated to actual personal traits and talents, and in reality, physical attractiveness has almost no connection to intelligence, talents, or abilities. Overall, good-looking people are less lonely, less socially anxious, more popular, more socially skilled than unattractive people. Does that seem shallow? If so, it may be reassuring to know that beauty mainly affects initial acquaintance. Later, more substantial personal qualities become important. #RandolphHarris 2 of 11
Still, in the Ricki Lake culture of the 1990s, when gushing out one’s insecurities and body shaming became popular as a tool to use against people who are naturally thin, people who were uncomfortable with their size began to lash out against others who were considered traditionally beautiful and privileged, and because these instigators had been demonized for so long, if the traditionally beautiful person responded, people would gang up on them and call them names and make that individual feel bad about being thin and beautiful, like the image that is so accepted by the fashion industry. So basically, people who felt undesirable inside, might be overweight, or have thinning hair, or did not like themselves for whatever reason, had a license for revenge, they got to go out and take out all their frustrations on people they were jealous of without any retaliation. And because some people who are considered traditionally beautiful are really nice and find all types of people attractive and valuable, they could not respond because in hurting that person for attacking them, they knew that they would be also hurting themselves and their friends, so it made these traditionally beautiful people feel shamed for being thin, pretty or handsome, and they started feeling like rejects. #RandolphHarris 3 of 11
As a result, more people started turning to suicide because they felt bad for being who they were and could not respond. People would shout things at them like, “Go eat a burger, b*tch,” and think it was funny, and because Americans tend to be more heavy set than most of the World, that culture became acceptable. To make thicker people feel more socially acceptable, people started to shame the thin and beautiful. Art may disguise complexions, but never improve them. Similarity refers to the extent to which two people are alike in background, age, interest, attitudes, beliefs, and so forth. Social psychologists have repeatedly found that similar people are attracted to each other. And why not? It is reinforcing to see our beliefs and attitudes shared by others. It shows we are “right” and reveals that they are clever people as well. So eventually, hordes of people who felt like social rejects, even after plastic surgery, buying wigs, or wearing makeup, felt good about teaming up and harassing people who seemed to have it all. And when the witch hunters got into positions of power, they collectively, and systematically started harassing and terrorizing these individuals they did not like, to try and make them believe that they were cursed and would be better off dead and that even God was against them and that is why they had so much bad luck. One professor even told a student that suicide was probably his best option. #RandolphHarris 4 of 11
God, send me a friend that may tell me of my faults: if not, any enemy, and he will. There are friendships which are only bottle-deep. How do people who are not yet friends learn if they are similar? Through self-disclosure. Our friendships and intimacies are only calculated for strong life and health. Forming a group to terrorize someone is really not a great option to being accepted. However, getting to know others requires a willingness to talk about more than just the weather, sports, or nuclear physics. At some point, you must begin to share private thoughts and feelings and reveal yourself to others. Such self-disclosure is essential for developing close relationships. A lack of self-disclosure, as noted above, is associated with anxiety, unhappiness, and loneliness. We more often reveal ourselves to persons we like than to those we find unattractive (physically or mentally). Disclosure also requires a degree of trust. Many people play it safe or “close to the vest,” with people they do not know well. Indeed, self-disclosure is governed by definite norms about what is acceptable. For instance, if you sit next to a boy you think it cute in math, you might start off by saying, “I hope this class is not too difficult.” Moderate self-disclosure leads to reciprocity (a return in kind). #RandolphHarris 5 of 11
Young men of open, generous dispositions are naturally inclined to gallantry, which, if they have good understandings, exerts itself in an obliging complacent behavior to all women in general. Overdisclosure is self-disclosure that exceeds what is appropriate for a relationship or social situation. For example, imagine standing in a line at a supermarket and having a stranger in front of you say, “Lately, I do not know how I feel about Black people. I think I am pretty well adjusted, but occasionally I have some questions about them advancing in society and wonder if they are sharing their wealth with their family?” When self-disclosure proceeds at a moderate pace, it is accompanied by growing trust and intimacy. When it is too rapid or inappropriate, we are likely to back off and wonder about the person’s motives. Thus, as friends talk, they influence each other in ways that gradually deepen the level of likening, trust, and self-disclosure. Gambling requires as much coolness as the most austere school of philosophy. Women and men display an interesting difference in patterns of self-disclosure. To carry on two controversies at the same time is favorable to neither. #RandolphHarris 6 of 11
Two male friends share lunch at a restaurant. In the next hour they talk about sports, cars, sport cars, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, sports, cars, and basketball. (Did I mention sports and cars?) Jill, who sat at a nearby table overheard the entire conversation. Here is her summary of what the men said to each other: “All they talked about was cars and sports and beautiful women.” In North American culture, most male friendships are activity based. That is, men tend to do things together—a pattern that provides companionship without closeness. You know, going to the mall means going to the mall, not drive me to some dark, secluded location and start feeling on me. Having a drink and shooting pool, means playing sports and not getting me plastered or pressuring me into drinking so I am unaware of what is going on. Increasingly, homosexual men are not attracted to other homosexual men, they want a guy who seems like a traditional father, fraternity guy, or a nerd. And so these guys are often preyed on by men, who they think genuinely want a friendship, but actually have ulterior motives. I was watching a documentary, and the author says that guys who are negative and not into drugs have to be very careful. Because sometimes party boys will pick up on them and take them to a club and turn them out. #RandolphHarris 7 of 11
It is especially dangerous to take an unsuspecting man, or boy out of his element because they are used to having a drink meaning having a drink, not let me spike your drink and have my way with you while you are unconscious and unable to consent because you will not report it. And sometimes people will get them hooked on drugs and some of these people have terminal illnesses and in their manic party phase, they lose their inhibition, may forget and get you sick in the process. So, in modern times, you have to be very careful with gendered friendship, the day next door type, may secretly be a homosexual male trying to turn you out. People usually want what they cannot have and that is why they come at you sideways or use ulterior motives. I think more men, especially in World Class Cities are catching on to what coming over for a beer means to some guys. I was talking to a guy and he told me to be careful about drinking with guys around here. And I heard another guy recently defending, to his girlfriend, why he did not want to go out with his guy friend, without going into details. When his lady asked him, “Why not?” He replied, “It is not that I do not like him, I just do not want to have a drink with him,” and I knew exactly what he meant. (I do not trust him and I am not about that party and pleasure lifestyle.) #RandolphHarris 8 of 11
The face of gay men is changing and their modus operandi (distinct pattern or method of operation that indicates or suggests the work of a single criminal in more than one crime) is changing. Not all gay men are open about their sexuality, and you might think some guys are just nice and want to be your friend, but they may be trying to get over on you. So, you have to be cautious when it comes to drinking with the guys and make sure you really know these guys. A lot of people grew up in good communities with family values, but times are changing. This is not the days of Archie Bunker, where having a beer meant having a beer and people openly discussed their feelings about culture. True bigots often hide in places where you least expect them, and will pretend to be neutral. When it comes to women, in many cases, the friendships of women are more often based on shared feelings and confidences. If two female friends spent an afternoon together and did not reveal problems, private thoughts, and feelings to one another, they would assume that something was wrong. For women, friendship is a matter of talking about shared concerns and intimate matters. Actually, the differences between male and female friendships are smaller than implied here. Men do know something about the private thoughts and feelings of their friends. #RandolphHarris 9 of 11
Often times, people assume they know you and have ideas about who you are and could be wrong. A lot of people think because men are nice and smile and do not speak up about things that they are slow, but they actually may not really like you and just be trying to avoid you and any conflict. Nevertheless, most contemporary men do not form close friendships with other men. Many could probably learn something from female friendships: Men live their friendships side by side; women live them face to face. Decision does not give one knowledge of anything that will occur in the future because the mere fact that a person has decided does not ensure that he or she will not falter, change one’s mind, or die tomorrow. Hence, it appears to be mistake to assume that because decision entails ignorance prior to decision, this ignorance is of something which one will know later as a result of decision; what one comes to know when one decides is nothing in addition to the decision itself appears to be that decision is an intentional concept. #RandolphHarris 10 of 11
“I really wanted it. I really wanted it. I was being the Wander Slut in those days. I kept a list on my computer of all the people I seduced. I seduced Randall. He nearly shot himself on account of it. It was perfectly disgusting.” I already got some designer to hold up my pants, I just want some ice on my wrist so I look better when I dance, have you lookin’ at it put you in a trance. Lord, may nothing separate me from you. Teach me how to choose only your way so each step will lead me closer to you. Help me to keep my heart pure and undivided. Protect me from my own careless thoughts, words, and actions and the Devil and his red hot pitch forks so they do not try and stick them in my hiney. And help me rest in the truth. And keep me from being distracted by my thoughts, desires and ideas how things should be. Help me to embrace what comes my way as opportunity. God, you are my rock and my fortress. You are my shield and my strong tower. Teach me how to stand strong and choose only your way. Thank you that you love me and nothing can every take that away from me! Thank you Father in Heaven. #RandolphHarris 11 of 11
The Morning Star is the Evening Star
Life and the World around us is a painted veil, an illusion though which we penetrate to the reality behind. Religion and virtue seem in many respect to be so nearly related that they are generally presumed to be inseparable companions. We are so willing to think well of their union that we hardly allow it to be permissible to speak or even think of them separately. However, it may by questioned whether this attitude can be theoretically justified. We certainly do sometimes encounter cases that seem to go against this general supposition. We have known people who have the appearance of great zeal in religion, but have lacked even the common affections of humanity, and shown themselves extremely degenerate and corrupt. Others who have paid little regard to religion and been considered as mere atheists have been seen to practice the rules of morality and in many cases to act with such good meaning and affection towards humankind that one seems forced to admit that they are virtuous. In our everyday lives, our wiliness to have dealings with someone may depend on one’s answer to “What are his or her morals?” A person who is aware of the superior pleasures to be found in virtuous action will naturally prefer virtue to mere self-interest. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7
Our notions of God are projections of our own humor, as we are, so shall we think God to be. God must necessarily be good humored. However, we can never understand this quality unless we possess it ourselves. Hence, the necessity for permitting good humor in the discussion of religion. I give a lot of credence to the grace of God because much of what we do, in fact, more of what we do than we do not do has to do with our fortune and misfortune. And I think there are people who the miseducation has taken a greater toll on than me. And you know, but for the grace of God, I would have been confused about my identity. We cannot understand qualities of mind and character which we do not possess ourselves. The best foundation for rendering a just account of human nature is thorough knowledge of oneself. No one who knows oneself can possibly believe that all human action stem from selfish motives. God is a good-tempered, benevolent being who orders the World. Sincere the affection for virtue is natural, religion is unnecessary to its presence in us. However, theistic opinions about a benevolent God may reinforce the affection. Yet, so many the good example of others and rewards and punishment. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7
When religion and morality are separated, a selfish interest in one’s own welfare is not all that is left to provide a foundation for morality. There is more than accounting for the possibility of morality than a simple choice of religion. It is the function of both poetry and religion to provide people with a coherent view of the World that will help them understand both themselves and their fellow human beings, and to provide it in a form that will kindle the imagination as well as the intellect. The ultimate solution is a community small enough for each member to know the other members as individuals. Such intimate person knowledge will bring understanding and sympathy, so that people will be prepared to cooperate for the common good, without the coercion of law. People will indeed value their neighbors’ opinions, but they will not take their neighbors’ opinion on trust. To do so would be useless, because even a true opinion is of little value unless one understands the grounds for holding it. It is only when people see things as they are, in all their intricate interconnections, that they will feel the right emotions and thus lead happy and virtuous lives. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7
People see life as if through a veil—the veil of their own prejudices, which are imposed by social institutions. We must transcend their prejudices in order to understand and love our fellow humans. If we are to fear the wrath of God, then there must be some principle by which we regulate our fears. If we are to fear God’s blame, we must already know what is blame worthy. Nothing is blameworthy simply because it displeases God. God and human beings must share a sense of deformity which enables them to identify the morally odious. There is no divine monopoly here. Morality may arise independently of religion. Virtue is natural because human nature provides a foundation for virtue. Why should selfishness or self-interest be the only natural passion? Social feeling or sense of partnership with humankind may be natural. The social feeling must be natural, for how could there be society if this feeling did not exist first? If society is a set of conventional arrangements, then the existence of society implies the pre-existence of a disposition among people to make conventions. Thus, the selfish picture of human nature cannot be the whole story, for if selfishness were the only natural feeling, there would be no society. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7
What is more, since the existence of a social feeling is sufficient to account for the origin of society, appeals to the religious sanctions for society are necessarily subsequent to the actual foundation of society and therefore of secondary importance. Virtue is the pursuit of the public interest. There is no real love of virtue without the knowledge of public good. We are disposed to act virtuously by our affection for virtue. This affection for virtue is called the moral sense. This sense is like a harmony in music and a sense of proportion in architecture and art. In a creature capable of forming general notions of things, not only the outward beings which offer themselves to the sense are objects of the affection, but the very actions themselves and the affections of pity, kindness, gratitude, and their contraries, being brought into the minds by reflection become objects. So that by means of this reflected sense, there arise another kind of affection towards those very affections themselves, which have been already felt, and are now become the subject of a new liking or dislike. One way we evaluate ourselves is to compare ourselves to others and to our own ideal self-image. If an ideal image cannot be met, it may have to be discarded or revised, but this is not easy to do. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7
Once we remove the veil of unreality, the World will be seen as a unity—both in the sense in which science may be said to be a unity (the truth about one field of study cohering with and illuminating the truth about another), and in the sense that a true understanding of our fellow humans will give rise to virtuous behavior. This is the indestructible order that it is the business of poetry to reveal. We live surrounded by an infinite multitude of mysteries. For God, all things are possible, even what one may considered a logical absurdity, that is, causing what has in fact happened not to have happened. The fundamental property of life is daring; all life is creative daring and this an eternal mystery, irreducible to anything finished or intelligible. In human’s very existence, thought has discovered something improper, a defect, a sickness, or sin, and has demanded that this be overcome at its foundation by a renunciation of existence. Disclosure by talking seriously and honestly together on an equal level is the necessary condition for reducing the mystery that one person is for another. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7
We need to take better care of ourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually. Because the times that are coming up are going to be challenging times. Progress come both in the realization of the need for re-education and further in the re-education process itself. A good beginning to understanding and appreciating life fully is knowing that at some point it will end. Games prevent honest, intimate, and open relationships between the players. Yet people play them because they fill up time, provoke attention, reinforce early opinions about self and others, and fulfill a sense of destiny. We have to learn to make the time period between life’s only two certainties, birth and death meaningful and significant. Human beings place far too much stress upon defining the purpose in and of our lives. Our only purpose in life if purpose is needed, is to be what we are fully, vitally and in context of other people having the same right. We each need to find a purpose or goal in our existence but we should not dwell on it. People are known and respected for their commitment and dedication to the uplift of people. Each of us must know that others may try to push us down or disqualify us, but we will be able to fulfill our destinies. The rest of your life will be the best of your life. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7
Is the Sun of Blue Heaven Guilty of the Shadow it Casts?
The beauty and loveliness of friendship is too strong for dim eyes. The soul is form giving being to humans, and it assists in operation of the body and mind as a sailor presides over the operation of an already formed ship. It is important to control the mind, and for an individual to have a rapport with nature. God is identified with the regularity governing the World, and must be thought of as the essence or embodiment of regularity in general; as the totality of logical regularity, of natural laws, and of the laws of mental and spiritual life. All moral values disappear if God does not exist. Therefore, it is important for people to believe in God. Christ and his disciples through the ages have experienced the divine presence of God the loving Father and with it a sense of moral repentance and an inner energy of the spirit. As with all personal experience, no symbolic structure can act as substitute. Such structures are, in every field, merely hypothetical attempts to grasps experience. God lives in human’s consciousness. Before a new direction is sought, it is necessary to discern the error of the old and awaken a desire to transcend that error. This requires courage and fearless honesty. #RandolphHarris 1 of 10
The recovery from many serious and incurable, potentially fatal disorders is based on the willingness and capacity to face the truth and choose a different pathway. To break down denial and admit the truth takes one above the lower levels of humanity. Spiritual awakening is fostered by a desire for salvation and peace. The Human need for and experience of God’s presence proves his existence. Science and philosophy are masters of their own proper domain. Thus, God is the final reason of everything, but not necessarily the scientific explanation of anything. The idea of God is so embedded in the consciousness of human beings that we find some version of it in most legends. One knows but little of human nature who has not discovered that, to all who rise one step above the brutes, it is far pleasanter to starve and freeze after their own fashion than to be fed and clothes and worked upon compulsion. Friendship is a mighty pretty invention, and, next to love, gives of all things the greatest spirit to society. #RandolphHarris 2 of 10
We lie in nature very close to God; and though, further on, the stream may be corrupted by the banks it flows through; yet at the fountain’s rim, where humankind stand, there the stream infallibly bespeaks the fountain. Whatever the number of a person’s friends, there will be times in one’s life when one has too few; but if one has only one enemy, one is lucky indeed if one has not one too many. In life, however, it is sometimes difficult to say who does you the most mischief, enemies with the worst intentions, or friends with the best. Friendship is a passion. It entrances the being; it tears the soul. All loves of after life can never bring its rapture, or its wretchedness; no bliss so absorbing, no pangs of jealousy or despair so crushing and so keen! Our consciousness rarely registers the beginning of a growth within us any more than without us: there have been many circulations of the sap before we detect the smallest sign of the bud. What we say is important for in most cases the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Equality is the soul of friendship. #RandolphHarris 3 of 10
When I do entertain, in the Summer, which is rare, I receive my guest on the front porch, set up wicker trays found at Draper James, and serve ice cold sweet tea, cucumber finger sandwiches, and miniature chess pies. The ice tea is so delicious that it can stand alone as a refreshment, but we like to embellish things a bit. There are different reasons for receiving guest. Visits of congratulations are paid after the birth of an infant; when it is also customary to send tasteful and elegant baskets or bouquets of flowers. Also, upon friends who have received an appointment to any office or dignity in the community, state, or government. If a friend has published a book, you call to congratulation him or her upon its success; or if one has delivered a lecture, sermon, or oration, which has elicited your applause, you express your high estimation of the discourse. A good orator is pointed and impassioned, and they get their subjects into the heart of the audience. It is also a good idea to pay visits of congratulation when you hear that your friends are intending to marry, and take upon themselves new responsibilities. #RandolphHarris 4 of 10
There are times when people must act as though life were equally sweet in any company. In this World, sometimes we experience sickness, sorrow, and bereavement, visits of condolence must occasionally be made; and, if possible, they should be paid within a week after death has entered the family circle. If your acquaintance is ceremonious, it is the custom, however, to wait until the family has appeared at church. One should send up your card, and ask if your friends will receive you; and it is in good taste for ladies to be attired in quiet apparel, rather than in bright, beautiful colours. And you do not necessarily have to wear black. In formal visiting, a card can be left in lieu of a call. In many places, it is customary to send invitations to friends to attend a funeral, and only those receiving cards are expected to attend. Notes are also usually sent to those who are requested to serve as pall-bearers. One should always leave it to those who are in affliction to make the first allusions to their bereavement. Grief is an experience common after the passing of a loved one. There is a crying for someone to help because we cannot do anything about it. #RandolphHarris 5 of 10
My idea of good company is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a great deal of conversation. That is the best. When calling upon friends at hotels, or boarding houses, always send up by an assistance, a request to see them; and never enter a room until you have received an invitation to do so. When a gentleman calls upon a lady, and finds a lady friend also visiting her, he should rise when she takes her leave, and accompany her to the hall door; and is she has a carriage, should hand her into it. Also, when arriving at someone’s house, do not blow the horn of the carriage, nor holler and scream like you lost your mind for them to open the door. Get out of the carriage, and ring the doorbell like a well-bred person with sanity. People generally want to keep their communities as quiet and peaceful as possible. Gentlemen should always carry their hats in their hands when paying morning or evening calls, but should not place them on the chairs or parlor table. Every well-bred man knows that a hat can be made a very graceful part of his attire, especially if he knows how to hold it. #RandolphHarris 6 of 10
In our country, we are allowed considerable freedom in receiving and paying visits, and can appear, in the daytime, in all public places. It is actually becoming proper for ladies and gentlemen to have brothers, husbands, or friends of either gender attend meetings with them for safety reasons. It was a common practice for women, in the Victorian ages, but people are now always preying on men. I had a friend who went to meet up with people I thought he knew well, and he came back with a missing tooth. I did not expect he would actually keep company with someone he was unfamiliar with, and thought it was some kind of skit. Nonetheless, it was not my business to advise him. People used to be able to attend public exhibitions, libraries, etc., and appear on the promenades alone, but this may no longer be the case. If you attempt such proceedings in a World class city, or even a small rural town, you may expose yourself to indignities which would annoy you sadly. In the United States of America, women and men, who behave with discretion, can go wherever they please without molestation; but an escort is always desirable, especially in the evening. #RandolphHarris 7 of 10
There is no light without its shade, no good without its inconvenience. It is not considered comme il faut for the lady of the house to accompany ceremonial visitors to the door; she merely rises from her seat, bows, or shakes hands, according to her intimacy when the persons, and if her ménage supplies a parlor assistance, she rings the bell to summon him to open the outer door. With intimate friends, one can do as they please, either accompanying them to the door, or leaving them to find their way out of the house alone, or calling an assistant to escort them. However, in these modern times, with people changing like the seasons and acting all brand new when you least expect it, it is best to be safe and see your guest find them way out. In almost everything, we act on probabilities. Good sense will shew you the power of self-conquest, and point out its means. It should be the desire of us all to be well-bred, but it is not a veneering that can be applied, or laid aside at pleasure. Keeping witty company sharpens the apprehension. #RandolphHarris 8 of 10
More light a candle and fewer to curse the darkness. We should carry our good manners everywhere; and unless we cultivate them constantly, and exercise them upon all occasions, and towards all persons, they can never become a part of ourselves; and when we try to assume them, they will often fail us at our greatest need. If you are impolite to your washerwoman, or to your maid, you are in great danger of being so to those whose good opinion your desire to possess. Life is full of the saddest and the strongest contrasts. The charm which true politeness sheds over its possessors, is not easily described; yet, it is felt by everyone, and invariably responded to by the best feelings of their nature. It is the secret sympathy, the silver link, like the silken tie, which heart to hearts, and mind to mind, in body and in soul can bind. A companionable man or woman will put up with many inconveniences for the sake of enjoying agreeable society. The wine cannot be bad where the company is agreeable. #RandolphHarris 9 of 10
Glorious Father in Heaven, filled with compassion for those who invoke you and with love for those who suffer, heavily laden with the weight of our troubles, we cast ourselves at your feet and humbly beg you to take the present affair which we recommend to you under your special protection and make the rest of our lives the best of our lives. When we realize God’s favor is upon you, you will accomplish your dreams faster than you ever thought possible. telling yourself the wall is too big, the dream is too great, or the obstacles are too high. It will not happen in your own strength. It will not happen in your own powers. It will happen because Almighty God favors you. Try claiming God’s blessing instead of longing for them. The humblest painter of real life, if he could have his desire, would select a picturesque background for his figures; but events have an inexorable fashion of choosing their own landscape. Success if for everyone and your life becomes better the moment you become better. There is no success without sacrifice. You will be as small as your controlling desire, as great as your dominant aspiration. #RandolphHarris 10 of 10
Opportunities are a Lot Like Work—they are Everywhere
Difficulties and sufferings help to forge the human soul. Without effort and sacrifice nothing really great can be accomplished; even a good song cannot be created without pain, have you heard The One I gave my Heart to by Aaliyah? So, people should not hesitate to fight against evil and tyranny and to overcome fear. There are objective laws governing social progress but they depend on the laws of human nature, which can be discovered by an analysis of the history of humankind. Genuine intellectuals help their people to become aware of their sufferings and their real needs and to produce a radical change in their conditions. A social revolution, therefore, presupposes the total intellect power of the people. Education is a revolutionary act and leads to the growth of civilization and an increasing social justice and the elimination of irrationality in human life. Thinking consists of both abstract and concrete concepts; it is not only generalization of the experience, but also immediate consciousness of reality. Behind me is infinite power. Before me is endless possibility. Around me is boundless opportunity. Why Should I fear? #RandolphHarris 1 of 9
Perception and cognition are not a mere reflection of the external World, but a creative interpretation and transformation of data in the light of language, previous experience, and the practical needs and values of the subject. Knowledge is therefore a historical category and contains subjective, human elements. It is a picture of the World in the perspective of a limited cognitive apparatus and a limited set of goals. However, whenever human practice is repeatedly and intersubjectively successful, this can be explained only on the assumption that in all such cases it was guided by an objective knowledge of the corresponding parts of the World. There is a real possibility for humans to become a free creative being who rationally controls natural and social processes and lives in solidarity with other people in real human community. In the contemporary World humans have lost control over the products of their physical and mental activity (the state, political parties, nuclear weapons, religion). They have become enslaved by dull imposed labor and has reduced all the richness of life to an artificial need to possess as many objects as possible and other people to the status of things to be used. #RandolphHarris 2 of 9
Humans are alienated: they are not what people could be and ought to be. The supreme value for contemporary philosophy is therefore desalination, the progressive liberation from all forms of slavery and poverty, both material and spiritual, and the fulfillment of all the potential of the individual. Humans live in a World where there is both order and change, and they can therefore behave as a relatively free agent insofar as one becomes aware of external and internal compulsions and is ready to resist them. From this conviction that within certain objective limits humans can be free and can create history, contemporary philosophers are led to a profound optimism and activism. There are various kinds of visits: visits of ceremony, visits of condolence, visits of congratulations, and visits of friendship, and each has its different custom or etiquette. These visits, however, are all essential, in order to maintain good feeling between the members of society; and, therefore, they should be carefully attended to, even if they do occupy a large portion of your time. #RandolphHarris 3 of 9
Visits of ceremony, are those which are paid after receiving attentions at the hands of your acquaintances; after dining, or supping at a friend’s house; after attending an evening party; etc.; and they should invariably be of short duration; and one should never take either children or dogs when making them. Hand your card to the assistant at the door, and ask if the lady or ladies are in. When other visitors are announced, it is better to wait until they are seated, and then rise from your seat and take leave of your hostess, and bow politely to the guests; but never leave while others are entering the room, as it produced a needless confusion. Many well-bred persons do not introduce their visitors to each other; but if you are left in the parlor with strangers, while the servant summons his mistress, it is not impolite to enter into conversation with them, and when the lady enters, the conversation would be mutual. You should always call at an hour when you would expect to find ladies prepared to receive visitors, and not at lunch, or dinner-time. #RandolphHarris 4 of 9
In most cities, regular reception days are a la mode, and are engraved upon the visiting cards, thus – “At home Mondays, from 12 o’clock till 4.” And then it is needful to call upon that day, and between the hours prescribed. Only very intimate friends would call at any other time. After attending a dinner-party, or a ball, you should call within the week upon your hostess. When you are going to be absent from your house for months, or years, you should call upon all your friends and acquaintances, or send your card, enclosed in an envelope, with the letters, T.T.L. (“to take leave”) or P.P.C. (“Pour prendre conge), written at the right hand lower corner. In taking leave of a family, you send or leave as many cards as there are members; but if the call is upon intimate friends, you need only turn down the left-hand edge. If, previous to a long voyage, or absence, or on the occasion of your marriage, you omit to call or send a card to your friends, it is understood that the acquaintance ceases. When you return to the house, those to whom you have sent cards, or paid visits, will pay the first visit to you. #RandolphHarris 5 of 9
When a lady intends to give a large party or ball, she calls or leaves cards at the houses of those whom she intends to invite, from ten days to a week before the invitations are issued. A slip of thin card-board with the name, and the number of residence and street engraved upon it, is accepted as a substitute for a ceremonious visit, and its shape and lettering varying with the fashion. It is usual, however, to prefix the titles of Mr., Mrs., and Miss to the name, but young gentlemen omit the Mr., and; the professional ones, such as Right Rev., Rev, and Dr., are also given, but we omit the prefix of Hon. and Excellency. Military and naval titles are added to the cards of those in the service of the United States of America. A card can be left or sent by an assistant, in lieu of a formal visit; but it is not well-bred to send it through the post. In leaving your card for a stranger, you may not want to add your address, but it used to be custom to do so. Keep an account of your ceremonial visits. A visiting-list, or book, is indispensable if one possesses a large circle of acquaintances. This is needful, because time passes so rapidly; and then you note down at what time your visits were returned. #RandolphHarris 6 of 9
And you can graduate your visits by it; yet there may be circumstances, such as ill healthy, or age, which would render it desirable for you to call again without reference to the return of your visits. The courtesies of society should ever be respected among the nearest friends, and even in the domestic circle; but among relations and intimate friends, visits of ceremony are not needed. Yet, one should endeavor to pay even social visits at suitable hours, and never make one’s self a bore by staying too long. To continue working with the crochet needle, typewriter, telegraph machine, telephone, or television when visits of ceremony are paid, would be extremely uncourteous; but when intimate friends are present, it is not always necessary to lay aside any light kind of work which does not interfere with your conversation. However, you guests are not indentured servants. It is decidedly inconsistent, however, with good-breeding to have your eyes fixed upon a crochet, or worsted pattern, and attempt to count its stitches while receiving a call from the most intimate friend. If your visitors come from a distance, be sure to offer then some refreshments, or urge them to remain to lunch; and is those call who are ill in health, offer a glass of wine, with a biscuit or cracker. #RandolphHarris 7 of 9
We admire learning in a pig; and undervalue it in a human. We once heard a lady say:– “I never attempted now to pay visits in the downtown or midtown of this city, because it entails upon me long drive, traffic, difficult parking, and something of a walk into the bargain, and as few ladies ever think of offering their friends either a glass of wine or a cup of coffee or tea, with a biscuit, scone, biscotti, or a bit of cake, I should return to my house half famished, and a severe headache would be the result. I am always glad to see my friends, but I cannot return their visits.” A slight lunch would be always agreeable after the exertion. In the same town or village, of course, such an attention is needles; yet, if aged persons call, it is pleasing courtesy to them. Do not pass gas in the phone booth, and it is polite to have a stool only in your own bathroom, if possible. And it is important that you never date more than one person from the same family. Never make fancy with the former romantic interest of your friends, and never date more than one person at a time. #RandolphHarris 8 of 9
Find your own vision. Three important rules for breaking up. Do not put off breaking up when you know you want to. Prolonging the situation only makes it worse. Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly. Do not make a big production. Do not make an elaborate story. This will help you avoid a big tear-jerking scene. If you want to date other people, say so. Be prepared for the man to feel hurt and rejected. Even, if you have gone together for only a short time, and have not been too serious. There is still a feeling of rejection when someone says she preferred the company of others to your exclusive company. However, if you are honest, and direct, and avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you break the news, the man will respect you for your frankness and honesty. And honestly, he will appreciate the kind of straightforward manner in which you told him your decision, unless he is a real jerk or a crybaby, you will remain friends. When you face situations that seem impossible in your everyday life, pray. When you ask, God releases favor and angles to go to work and strongholds are broken. You will see the greatness of God’s power and the rest of your life will be the best of your life. #RandolphHarris 9 of 9
A Vital Doctrine—God Manifest in the Flesh
Never in a human head was contemplation more separated from desire. The Architects and advocates of the modern English translations of the Holy Scriptures unequivocally declare that Christ was God manifest in the flesh. He appeared in body. Two whole, perfect, and distinct natures, the Godhead and the manhood, were inseparably joined together in one Person, without conversion, composition, or confusion. Which person is very God and very man, yet one Christ, the only Mediator between God and human beings. The Westminster Divines evidently regarded this verse as one of the essential proofs of the Trinitarian doctrine of the Bible, that the Father is God, the Son is God, and the Holy Spirit is God. The first Reason, why the then Greatness of the Roman Empire was a fit Circumstance of Time for the Mission, of Christ, is that he might better manifest his Divine Authority and Commission to the civil Powers of the World. Hell, Satan, and the devils are in reality sates of the mind. However, some events can never be explained. When we limit the mental to the realm of conscious events (the actual), it is called psychology without a soul. #RandolphHarris 1 of 13
Faithfulness to fact is raised to the level of genius. Behavior at the house is one of the best touchstones of good manners; for many persons will appear well abroad, and yet cannot exhibit any degree of ease at their own fireside table. However, to entertain company without embarrassment or excitement, is an art which it requires some usage to perfect. Company, various company, is the only school of this knowledge. Nothing forms a young person so much as being used to keep respectable and superior company, where a constant regard and attention is necessary. It is true, this is at first a disagreeable state of restraint; but it soon grows habitual, and consequently easy; and you are amply paid for it by the improvement you make, and the credit it gives you. Hospitality is also a Christian duty, and all homemakers should exercise it to some extent. We were not designed to live alone, to shut ourselves up in our houses, and enjoy the blessings up in our houses, and enjoy the blessings which have been given us in a spirit of exclusiveness. The idea is therefore essentially the divine nature and formally the ratio according to which God intelligizes creatures. #RandolphHarris 2 of 13
These ideas make up the creative mind of God. In a parallel fashion the universal (on human level) is its singular. The singular participates in its universal, which is by nature a projection of an idea in the mind of God. As a creation of God’s mind, the singular is incapable of annihilation. For God to allow a singular to be annihilated would be to permit the annihilation of a part of himself—an obvious impossibility. Nature teaches us a lesson in this direction. She keeps open house for innumerable winged and creeping insects, and their banquets are always spread among the beautiful, fragrant flowers, whose hospitable abodes are every filled with guests, from the bees and the butterflies to the tiniest winged fairy. Elegant hospitality can be exercised at a moderate expense; and those of us who cannot afford to give costly dinner or evening parties, can surely entertain a few friends at tea or coffee, or of an evening, and this promote a social feeling among neighbors and acquaintances. It is not well for young persons to entertain too much company when they first commence housekeeping, but neither is it well to pay no heed to hospitality. #RandolphHarris 3 of 13
God’s intellection, his knowledge, his will, the Trinity, his ideas and his power to create outside himself is the grand design. Young people should live frugally and you will live happily; shut not your doors or hearts against those who have a claim upon your hospitality;–but remember, that if they really esteem and love you, they will come not to look at your table or your furniture, but to enjoy your society. Psychology is the common basis for all scientific and cultural knowledge and the bond uniting all the individual sciences, and therefore as the science directly preparatory to philosophy. Certain knowledge is possible for humans of one realm but not of the other, where only opinion is possible, although God may be able to have the knowledge of both. The chief art of pleasing is to make everyone feel at home; that is, at one’s ease. And if anything has occurred in your ménage to ruffle your temper, do not annoy your guest by telling your grievances. Of course, they cannot be interested in such petty details; and the relation may tend to mar their pleasure. We can improve our understanding, but this will always fall short of knowledge. #RandolphHarris 4 of 13
The most perfect being must owe one’s exemption from vice to the absence of temptation. We never quite understand why another dislikes what we like. There are those who are born with the faculty of rendering everyone happy who comes in contact with them, and they seem endowed with great discernment of character, and can encourage the timid, repress the encroaching, and call forth the peculiar talents and perfections of all. Such persons can always make themselves agreeable; while there are others who, strive as they can, can never attain to the same position. Yet, a desire to please—a desire to entertain one’s guest, will usually prove successful; and if you are cheerful, animated and pleasant yourself, you cannot fail to shed a halo of pleasure upon those around you. People of an enormously strong moral character have an unselfishness and self-control. It is important to be ambitious generals and politicians to acquire knowledge, and draw analogies to show that all skills must be learned. The significance of your knowledge can be usefully increased by deeper understanding of the purposes of your various crafts. #RandolphHarris 5 of 13
If your friends become your guests for awhile, it is well to give them some insight into your mode of life. Then they will readily comprehend your duties, and will often think it advisable not to encroach too much upon your morning hours, which may be required for some domestic occupations. After luncheon, or early dinner, your time, however, should be given up to them; either to drive out, walk, shop, or in some entertainment in the house. Of course, you will always attend to the arrangement of their sleeping-rooms, and provide everything that is essential for their comfort before they arrive, unless you are blessed with a most superior housekeeper. It is merciless to invite friends to visit you in cold weather, without providing a fire in their bedroom or dressing-room (heat). Neither is it courteous to wait until they arrive, and then inquire—“Would you like a fire?” Therefore, if you cannot afford to make your friends comfortable, do not invite them; at least in the wintry season. #RandolphHarris 6 of 13
There are temptations which it is not in the power of human nature to resist. Let your guest see, by your manner, that their presence is a decided pleasure to you; and make it also an incentive to recreations and amusements which do not belong to the common routine of your life. One should try to make their visits as agreeable as possible, but without any apparent effort; so that they many not think that you are putting yourself out of the way to afford them pleasures in which you do not often indulge. It is your duty to endeavor to make the time pass pleasantly, but if your visitors perceive that you are altering the daily tenor of your life on their account, it will detract greatly from their happiness. Mental training is paramount; serenity, sincerity, magnanimity, introspection, and self-restraint are the virtues to be cultivated. An ethical formula of devotion within, righteousness without is a virtue to be cultivated. Learning is knowing and practice. Therefore, we must rely on intelligence rather than strength. Intelligence is a great asset in the struggle for existence. #RandolphHarris 7 of 13
We do not injure others, nor harm ourselves in the pursuit of fame, wealth, and rank. These are to be avoided as temptations external to one’s nature. On the other hand, there is inherent in human beings a craving for the pleasures of this World. To seek the gratification of one’s desires for such things as fine food and beautiful objects is to yield to one’s original nature and in this way to work for its completion. We must seek happiness to our heart’s content, as well as longevity and immortality. One should not unnecessarily shorten one’s life. It is a good plan, when inviting guests to visit you, to state a given period for their visit. Mention the day when you would be happy to receive them, and the length of time of their visit. Perhaps a young lady is invited to make a visit in the country, or in the city, and no mention is made of days, weeks, or months, for its limit, and, therefore, she is utterly at a loss to know what amount of clothing to bring. It is impossible to study the human frame without a little studying the human mind. #RandolphHarris 8 of 13
The imprudence of our thoughts recoils upon our heads. When your guests intimate their intention of leaving you, if you really desire them to remain longer, say so frankly, and urge them to prolong the visit; but if you do not care for their society any longer, do not be so insincere as to urge it; or, on the other hand, if they cannot prolong their visit, do not worry them by your pertinacity in urging them to do so—but, while you invite them to renew their visit at their earliest convenience, facilitate their departure by every means in your power, and give them all needful information as to routes, times tables, etc. Of course, no guest will leave a friend’s house without some expression of regret and good-will. A good warm heart will, however, dictate the forms of speech requisite upon such occasions. And when you are at the house, be sure and inform your friends of your safe arrival, and express the gratification you have received from your visit, and gracefully allude to different members of the family, while you thank them for their kindly hospitality. #RandolphHarris 9 of 13
The transcendental knowledge attained involves a vivid awareness of the nature of the soul and its essential distinctness from the psychophysical organism. This bring liberation. No well-bred person will ever fail to acknowledge your hospitality and charming family; and a failure to do so, is a decided mark of ignorance of both etiquette and politeness. Guests will never take the part of either host or hostess in any trifling disagreement or opinion. As visitors, they can express their ideas upon various matters, of course; but shun any partisanship. And they will also scrupulously respect the rights of their entertainers, and never criticize their surroundings and manners to other persons. A house guest never speaks ill of those whose food one has tasted; and well-bred persons will never repeat what Mrs. Hearst said, nor tell what Mr. Hearst. did, when they were visiting. There has been some investigation of the physiology, and there seems little doubt that a kind of hibernation can be achieved and that the control over lungs, heartbeat, and the viscera organs is, by ordinary standards remarkable. #RandolphHarris 10 of 13
Some of the ore spectacular physical claims, however (such as levitation), are unconfirmed, and some of them are mythological in style. The ascription of magical powers to the host or hostess is part of the traditional tendency in India to think that with austerity and mental discipline can create a force which can even threaten the gods. This in turn both reflects and generates the view that mystical experience is the supreme religious goal, transcending the cult of supernatural beings. Such discrepancies of good manners are perfectly unendurable, and no respectable person will excuse them. Visitors should always give the housekeepers who waited upon them some little presents, either in money or its equivalent. They have had extra work in waiting upon them, and, therefore, deserve extra compensation. The chain which binds society together is composed of innumerable links, and it should be the part of hosts and guest to keep them uniformly bright; and to let neither moth nor rust corrupt them. There is nothing so difficult as to manage the public mind. The rest of your life will be the best of your life, which is socially engaged, but still retains its intellectual independence and freedom of social criticism. #RandolphHarris 11 of 13
Seeing may be contrasted both with hearing and with feeling by touching. One way in which seeing differs from hearing follows from the truth of our language that we hear an object if and only if we hear a sound which is made by the object. There is no comparable linguistic practice in the case of seeing. This may lead us to think of sight as presenting objects to us directly, hearing only indirectly. One way in which seeing differs from feeling by touching is that if we feel something by touching it, our experience is of feeling it with a particular part of the body. Our visual experience, however, is not of seeing with our eyes. We can imagine a disembodied mind having visual experiences but not having tactile ones. Sight does not require our being part of the material World in the way in which feeling by touching does. One way in which seeing differs from both hearing and feeling by touching is in respect to time. It takes time to hear a tune or to feel the shape of a statue, but one seems to be able to see a landscape instantaneously. #RandolphHarris 12 of 13
Sweet pliability of a human’s spirit, that can at once surrender itself to illusions, which cheat expectations and sorrow of their weary moments! Thus, the directness of seeing when contrasted with hearing, its noninvolvement with its object when contrasted with feeling by touching, and its apparent temporal immediacy when contrasted with both hearing and feeling by touching are features that may partly explain the belief that sight is the most excellent of the senses; this envied in the use by ancient and modern philosophers of predominantly visual metaphors to describe intellectual apprehension. Pray that we may finally receive the consolations and the succor of Heaven in all our necessities, tribulations and sufferings, particularly in Sacramento, and that we may bless God with the Elect through eternity. As mere human knowledge can split a ray of light and analyze the manner of its composition, so sublime intelligence may read in the feeble shining of this Earth of ours, every thought and act, every vice and virtue, of every responsible creature on it. #RandolphHarris 13 of 13
There is No Secret of Success—Success is for Everyone
No advice on success works unless you do. Your life becomes better only when you become better. Beware of the barrenness of an overcrowded life. The secret of the heart is its pressing love of self. The purpose of history—what happens at any time is not simply or wholly the effect of what has already happened; and event is dependent upon its past as the material upon which activity may be expended, but it is also a new and fresh expenditure of activity upon that material. What occurs is reconstruction, transformation, remaking. What was is thus pushed back into the past, and what becomes takes the place of what was. Time does not move from past through present to future; rather, it moves from the possible to the actual, that is, from one of the potentialities of what formerly was to a single actuality which is brought into existence by an action (whether that action be unconscious chance or conscious choice) upon what was. What comes to us from the past offers us opportunities and often imposes cruel limitations, but it does not make our choices for us. Rather, it allows us to realize our ends insofar as we have understanding of the potentialities it contains. #RandolphHarris 1 of 10
History has no one end; it includes many processes with their many, often incompatible, ends. And human choices, insofar as they are intelligent, may well be effective to some degree. A naturalistic theory of nature thus issues in a humanistic theory of man. Habitual inattention is sometimes attributed to great genius, but we cannot endorse that idea. Such a peculiarity of manner is subversive of all politeness, and tends to shut a person within oneself, and make one of little importance in life. There are some young persons, however, who delight to pass for geniuses or originals, and they think it very interesting to appear as if in a “brown study” while in the company of others. They like to seem entirely absorbed, and are delighted if anyone observes their eccentricities. Such manners are entirely at variance with good-breeding. If a person speak to you ever so foolishly or frivolously, it is the height of ill manners not to heed what he or she says; and if he or she every forces conversation upon you, it is unkind, to say the least, to assume a perfectly indifferent demeanor. #RandolphHarris 2 of 10
Besides, you cannot offer anyone more flattering attention than by that pleasing deference which, though it may involve somewhat of a sacrifice yet, is worth making. It is a good rule to endeavor to please everyone as far as is possible for us to do without too great a breach of sincerity. In this country, free and easy manners are too prevalent; but space would fail us to particularize all the little trifles in which even well-bred persons sometimes fall short. We will, however, briefly remark, that nothing can be more adverse to good manners than the habit of sitting with the hat on in the house—be it in the parlor, dining-room, kitchen, store, or office; or then yawning and whispering in company, lounging upon the chairs, by tipping them back upon two legs; taking the best seat in the room, and keeping them when your elders enter; or standing with the back to an open fire, when other persons are near it; and last, but not least, spitting into the fire, etc. These practices are deemed almost peculiar to our country, and have been severely animadverted upon by European travelers in our midst. #RandolphHarris 3 of 10
Not only that, but during police investigations, when people are suspected of crimes and refuse to give a DNA sample (in order to match the blood or body fluid to a crime scene) investigators will be undercover, watching you and waiting for you to spit on the ground or drop a cigarette so that they can collect your DNA and tie you to the crime. They will photograph or video tape you so they can prove that they legally obtained the same from you, even without you knowing. The evidence can be disputed. However, if you do not know the victim, then your DNA has no business being at the crime scene. And if you know the victim, you better hope you have a good reason for living your DNA behind. So be care when you spit or liter, and realize there is usually a witness to everything that happens. A man or woman may have virtue, capacity, and good habits, and yet his or her lack of good-breeding may made him or her unendurable to those who are well-bred. There are three classes of people; lovers of wisdom, lovers of honor, and lovers of gain. #RandolphHarris 4 of 10
You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. If a person neglects education, one walks lame to the end of one’s life. The style and manner which we neglect as too trifling for us to heed, are often the things by which the World judges us. There are many little matters of personal bearing and conduct which must be attended to, if we desire to be agreeable to society. It is useless to say that such a man or woman, whose attire is neglected, whose whole appearance bespeaks the sloven, is a good and able man or woman and therefore must be agreeable and pleasing. His or her ability and goodness are, doubtless, desirable qualities, but the personal juxtaposition of the individual is insupportable to those who are accustomed to cleanliness and refinement. Not that it is essential that every person should be externally elegant, or an adept in the rules which constitute good-breeding; but no one can hope to be admired and sought after, who is addicted to conspicuous uncleanliness, the special tendency of which is to inspire painful feelings in those around him or her. #RandolphHarris 5 of 10
Never by monkeyish or clownish—attempting to introduce the manners of the circus into the house. Some rude boys and girls seem to ride themselves upon their exhibitions of low, vulgar tricks, antic gestures, foolish jests, and odd, slangy expression. This is an example of the contrast between the brilliant skill, ingenuity, and care bestowed upon observation and experiment in biology, and the almost complete neglect of caution in regard to the definition and use of etiquette and good breeding. The effect of this has been to arrest the development of the life sciences. They cause chronic controversies and antitheses of biology, such as those between mechanism and vitalism, preformation and epigenesist, teleology and causation, structure and function, organism and environment, and body and mind. Such low, shameful vulgarity may excite the laughter of foolish persons, for the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness; but no one possessing common sense can see such behavior without disgust and abhorrence. And every person that acts like the buffoon puts oneself on the level with a clown, and lowers oneself in the estimation of the good and the wise. #RandolphHarris 6 of 10
Music is the movement of sound to reach the soul for the education of its virtue. Be polite, respectful and modest to all, and especially to your elders and superiors. There is nothing more disgusting than a youth who assumes an air of disrespect and self-importance towards one’s superiors, equals, or inferiors. Never stare people in the face. It is exceedingly impolite, and a certain mark of ill-breeding to stare idly at strangers or anyone, as though you were entirely unused to seeing visitors. In conversing with anyone, however, it is right to look him or her in the face, with cheerful, dignified and respectful assurance. Never jerk, twitch or slam doors or window blinds; but endeavor to be cautious and gentle in all your motions. No well-bred child will ever slam a door in anger, or even give it a strong twitch. Never enter a house or parlor with your boots all mud and slush, or sit down with your hat or cap on. Never go up and down stairs, or about the house, with the speed or a trotting horse and the tread of an elephant; step lightly, quickly, and orderly. Never be rude and boisterous with your young friends. You can share in all kinds of sports, and yet never lose the command of yourself so as to become hoydenish and bold. #RandolphHarris 7 of 10
Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge. Avoid loud screaming and rude merriment. Remember what Lear says of Aaliyah: “Her voice was ever sweet, gentle and low; and excellent thing in a woman. If we will study to introduce home etiquette into our families; to learn to be always courteous—always conciliatory—always well-bred—we should find that we had gained an immeasurable amount of happiness and the rest of our lives will be the best of our lives. Negligence and carelessness with regard to the little amenities of life, are the fruitful source of much domestic unhappiness. Good manners are to the family, what good morals are to society, their cement and their security. We think not that we daily see about our hearts—angels that are to be, or may be if they will, and we prepare their souls and ours to meet in happy air—a child, a friend, a wife whose soft heart sings in unison with ours, breeding its future wings. We should continue to turn to God as children, being continuously converted every day of our lives. #RandolphHarris 8 of 10
Almighty God, who, when the hearts of your people have grown cold, send your Holy Spirit to relight the flame of your love in their hearts, and raise up faithful ministers to recall your people to their former devotion and service. Mercifuly grant that we, following the teachings and example of Teresa of Avila, may be filled with your Holy Spirit, may be aflame with zeal for your glory and love for your goodness and hunger for your love, and that our feet may be set upon the path that leads to true holiness. We ask through Jesus Christ our Lord. Bless it be. You may be discouraged because your plans did have not worked out, but those closed doors were not an accident. That was God directing your steps. The reason God closed them because he has something better in store. Will you trust God? Gods ways are not our ways, they are better than our ways. There will be times when you do not get what you want, and you cannot understand why not. You may be experiencing that right now. Will you stay in faith while you wait to see what God is up to? #RandolphHarris 9 of 10
Our first scrape generally leads to our first travel. Disappointment requires change of air; desperation change of scene. God is wonderful in his design and excellent in his process and projects and houses. Believer, God overrules all things for your good. Your course is mapped out by your Lord. Nothing will take God by surprise. There will be no novelties to God. Real satisfaction comes not in understanding God’s motives, but in understanding his character, in trusting in his promises, and in leaning on him and resting in God as the Sovereign who knows what he is doing and does all things well. Perhaps there is a pattern set up in the Heavens for one who desires to see it, and having seen it, to find one in oneself. Time—I see it not, I feel it not: it is but a shadowy name—a succession of breathings measured forth by night by the clank of a bell, by day by a shadow crossings along a dialstone. Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements. Protect your dreams. Feed them. Nurture them. Encourage them to grow, Care for them. For someday, they may take care of you. #RandolphHarris 10 of 10
Chicken, Chicken! why did you Not have Beef or Moose Meat Stew?
Living bodies are machines, but machines directed toward the fulfillment of God’s purposes. My father was a business man and I am a business man, too! I want this philosophical work to be businesslike, to settle things. Sometimes, lighthearted moments become somber, when one is dismayed by the insincerity, vanity, and coldness of the human heart. Two people can be friends only if both of them are pure, so that they can be completely open with one another without causing offense. A relationship founded on hypocrisy, censorious, suspicion, and demands is intolerable. Human kindness and human concern are more important attributes in a person than intellectual power or cultivated taste. Many people have an acute need for friendship, and it is striking when one can meet a friend who displays generosity. Children and assistants are greatly influenced by the demeanor of masters and mistress of the house; and the husband who addresses his wife, in their presence, in a derogatory manner, does both himself and her a decided injury. While the wife, on her part, is equally bound to show all due respect to her husband. #RandolphHarris 1 of 15
Every human being possesses an innate perception of what is right. Children and servants are not exceptions to this general rule; and those of us who indulge in unkind expressions towards each other, lower ourselves more than we can, perhaps, understand in the opinions of those about us. Empirical psychology studies the powers of the soul as they are discovered by inner senses. There are two general fields of the soul—the cognitive powers and the will (which includes the feelings of pleasure and pain). The cognitive powers begin with the inferior faculty, or sensibility, because knowledge comes only from sensation. There is a pre-established harmony of soul and body. The soul is an immaterial substance possessing the power of representing the Universe and free will. Rationally, the soul is simple and immortal. The structure of the World and the objects in it are aimed at the fulfillment of God’s wise ends and the study of this method is a good method of studying nature. Good is what increases our perfection and evil is what diminishes it, and perfection is an objective metaphysical concept. #RandolphHarris 2 of 15
Therefore, moral and juridical laws do not depend on God’s will, but on the structure of being. They can be discovered by natural reason independent of Christian revelation. In many cases, a feeling of dislike is engendered, which no after circumstances can obliterate—a feeling near akin to contempt, also; for who can cherish respect for individuals who cannot govern themselves? Human beings are moved to acts by the rational representation of perfection and obligations or duties independent of rewards and punishment for carrying them out. Sin arises when sensibility prevails over reason; but sensibility is ruled by free will. A generous-minded boy will never forget the unkind and taunting words which he has heard an irritable and ill-governed father address to his dearly loved mother; nor will either girls or boys forget similar breaches of politeness and good-breeding exhibited by their mother towards the father. Truly, we have need of patience! and in the family circle it is one of the brightest virtues. #RandolphHarris 3 of 15
Ethics are based on an empirical psychology that describes the virtues, passions, and practical customs. Theology and ethics entirely are the foundation of natural reason. By reason, we mean scientific thought rather than common sense. The human intellect must be extended beyond the limits traditionally set for it by the German philosophical schools. “Cannot you both have patience?” murmured a little gentle boy once in our hearing, while his parent were indulging in unseemly bickerings, and there was a whole volume of reproof in that one sentence. William Wirt Winchester, a pattern of good-breeding, tells his son that—“The most familiar and intimate habitudes, connections and friendships, require a degree of good-breeding both to preserve and cement them. The best of us have our bad sides; and it is an imprudent as it is ill-bred to exhibit them. I shall not use ceremony with you, it would be misplaced between us; but I shall certainly observe that degree of good-breeding which, I am sure, is absolutely necessary to make us like one another’s company long.” #RandolphHarris 4 of 15
This is the best advice which can be given to husbands and wives, parents and children, and also to relatives and friends. The foundation of religion consists in moral distinctions among the acts of humans, whether they be good, evil, or indifferent, is an intelligent and free agent. Truth is the expression of things as they are, and vice constitutes a rejection of the truth; to deny things as they are is virtually to deny the existence of God. To follow nature is to follow God. This does not mean, however, that one should follow exclusively the inclinations of one’s individual nature. Since no one is purely rational, each individual must consider the nature of others. The great law of religion is for each person not to contradict truth, but to treat everything as it really is. Happiness is based on the pleasure—pain thesis, pain being a real evil, pleasure a real good. Ultimate happiness is the excess of pleasure over pain, and it is the duty of everyone to make oneself as happy as possible consonant with the happiness of others. #RandolphHarris 5 of 15
The habit of bantering, which is so often adopted by married people before children and assistances, is very undesirable, and frequently leads to serious consequences. How does a man know what is true? The husband will give a ridiculous appellation to the wife, which will raise a laugh at her expense; but in the end, it may lower him far more than the mother in the opinion of the children; and in their turn, they will often feel more respect and affection for the mother than for the father. Nothing can be more injurious, or inconsistent with true politeness and good-breeding, than the constant habit of fault-finding concerning little petty trifles, when indulged in by either husband or wife, in the presence of others or by themselves. There are men who never come to the table but they will find fault with the dishes served upon it. If roast beef is the chief dish, they will say:–“Chicken, Chicken! why did you not have beef or moose meat stew? I am tired of this everlasting chicken!” #RandolphHarris 6 of 15
Or vice versa. No matter what the wife may have provided, such a man will always evince a desire for something else. We reason about particulars, or from them; but not by them. Action according to right reason and action according to truth are identical. This is the general law laid down by the author of nature, and this constitutes the religion of nature. The senses are inferior to reason but are to be followed, nevertheless, when not contrary to reason. In instances where certainty concerning the truth is unobtainable, one may act on probability but always under the guide of reason. The necessity of education by the cultivation of reason is thus demonstrated. Man’s desires, his passions, must be submitted to reason. Since man is individual and the principles of reason are universal, the laws of nature forbid the individual to transgress the rights of others. All injustice is wrong and evil, and compassion is one of the highest virtues. Man is to be regarded not only as an individual, but also as a social creature, and the purpose of society is common welfare of all the people. #RandolphHarris 7 of 15
Human-made laws are not infallible, but may require alteration from time to time, and no human-made law should contradict a law of nature. Since mutual defense is one of the great ends of society, war against aggression is legitimate and necessary. Now, were the gentleman accused of fault-finding, he would indignantly deny it; and he may be a kind and good and true husband and father, and only have inadvertently fallen into this habit of not being satisfied with what has been provided. A good way to cure him, would be for the wife to hand him a pencil and a card every morning as he leaves the house, and request him to put down what he desires for dinner; so that the daily fault-finding can be, in measure, averted. This would convince him of his practice of picking flaws in the menage; and go far towards effecting a reformation in it. Half of us find fault from habit; but some of us, we fear, do so from an inborn ugliness of disposition. #RandolphHarris 8 of 15
Of the latter class we have little hopes; but the former can cure themselves—and it pleases them. Bad habits are very easily acquired; therefore, young persons must take special pains to avoid them. We are always disgusted with sons and daughters who do not show a marked respect to their parents, elders, and superiors; and who do not scruple to contradict them, and set up their own opinions, with the utmost pertinacity, against those of their parents. And why should our young men put aside the honored name of “Father,” and substitute for it the objectionable words “Governor” or “Old Man?” Some persons may reply, “What signifies a name?” A great deal; and Father is a holy name, given to us directly from God, the Father of all humankind; and he who attains to that rank and stands as a father of the family, occupies a high position, and his children should recognize his sacred office and give him the name assigned to it. #RandolphHarris 9 of 15
No one thinks of calling his mother “Governess” or “Mrs. Governor.” If a daughter should attempt it, it would be esteemed highly irreverent and ridiculous; yet it is not in reality any more absurd a practice. Young persons often fall into erroneous habits from want of thought; therefore, it is needful to remind out young friends of certain little discrepancies regarding good-breeding, which they should carefully endeavor to avoid. Good manners are taught in the house, by line upon line and precept upon precept. Undoubtedly, a well-bred father and mother will not have so much difficulty in rearing polite and well-mannered children as those who are the reverse—not because they ae born so, perhaps; but because, as we have said before, good manners are learned by imitation more readily than by precept and rule. It follows from God’s perfect justice that humans are immortal and that the iniquities and evils of this World will be corrected; a particular providence and a future state necessarily exist. #RandolphHarris 10 of 15
And the God of nature, who is the God of reason and the God of justice, is to be worshipped. Let brothers and sisters be taught to respect each other’s rights; be as thoughtful to please, and as watchful to avoid anything which will perplex and annoy each other, as they would be to a young guest whom they desired to honor; and they will then learn a due observance of home etiquette and politeness. Rude and rough boys are often allowed to treat their sisters in a very disagreeable, overbearing manner, and annoy them on every occasion, by breaking up their baby houses, cutting their hair off their dolls, and destroying their playthings, and speaking very slightingly of “the girls.” We consider such behavior as exceedingly reprehensible, and entirely at variance with all rules of good-breeding. Such boys will also make unkind and rude husbands; for by being permitted to exhibit and indulge such traits of character in their youth, they will be likely to indulge in them in their manhood, and pursue the same pleasing pastimes in their own families. #RandolphHarris 11 of 15
A sister is the best judge of a brother’s abilities in playing the role of a good husband. And a brother can estimate very fairly the position which a sister would hold in a husband’ home. We delight in the freedom of childhood; in its merry—quips and cranks and wanton wiles; and in the cheerfulness of youth, and its many delights and pleasures; but still more charming is the gentlemanly demeanor of brothers toward their sisters. Boastful persons, and such as disregard truth in their statements, are usually to be avoided; these sins, in the lowest point of view, are decidedly against the etiquette of god society. No woman can either resect or love a man who is in the habit of deceiving her; nor can a man esteem or love a woman whose statements do not possess the virtue of truth. Life and mind are products that develop, here and there, in the course of the manifold developments in the natural World. Mind, life, consciousness, and soul are activities of certain types of bodies; they never appear apart from those bodies, although mind, once is has emerged in Nature, may come to guide and thus to master some of the occurrences in the World about it. #RandolphHarris 12 of 15
Men will sometimes conceal from women the realities of their lives on the plea that they are too narrow minded, weak, or simple to understand them; while women, in their turn, conceal the details of their daily life on the score that they do not wish to e interfered with; or for fear lest their hidden pleasures be denied them. Hence arises the theory that wives must be kept in the dark concerning their husbands’ pursuits; and that men must be managed so that they shall not forbid this, that or the other desired pleasure. And this is styled diplomacy in the house circle. Of course, this state of affairs is very uncertain and slippery; and an expose will be threatened daily. Consciousness, far from being the source of the objective World, presupposes it existence. In all this realistic position, both husband and wife feel that they are deceived, yet cannot tell exactly how, when or where; cannot place their hand on the very spot—cannot prove what they suspect. Nature indicates a norm of perfection which the historical processes in this World seldom bring to fulfillment. It is contrasted with an allegedly superior spirit or supernature. #RandolphHarris 13 of 15
Men always know that they are managed even when they cannot see the way; women understand they are deceived;–are sure that excuses given for uncalled-for absences are not the right one—even though they cannot discover the truth. Such things go in the air, and consciousness is evolved even in the senses reveal naught. Such houses, however, are but the stepping-stones to a deeper abyss of woe. A love of truth, a high sense of honor, delicacy of manner, and strict adherence to correct principles, are the chief essentials of home etiquette. Be careful to avoid the habit of sauntering into a room without attending to anything that passes there;–thinking, it may be, of a trifling affair that need not occupy the attention, or very likely not thinking at all. In this way some persons trespass upon the rules of politeness which enjoin that each one should do one’s part in society. Let Nature be, as I love to put it, Heaven and Earth, the Sea, and all that is in them is, and I do not see how one can here complain of ambiguity. Make it a rule wherever you are, to take an interest in all that passes, observe the characteristics of the persons you meet, and listen to and take part in the subjects of their conversations. #RandolphHarris 14 of 15
Nature is what we find around us, whether we are looking on a top closet shelf, or through telescopic instruments at stellar Universes that are distant in both time and space, or at the evidences for ancient cities that long ago disappeared from view. Daily life, technical science, and history alike presuppose. Nature; that is, all these kinds of quests for knowledge presuppose simply that there is much to investigate. As we bring every part of our natural bodily life into harmony with the new life God has placed within us, he will exhibit in us the virtues that were characteristic of the Lord Jesus Christ. There are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect. God has a bank vault of blessings stored up for you. Something new and good is going to happen and the rest of your life will be the best of your life. God has extraordinary miracles coming your way. Angel of God, my Guardian, to whom his lobe commits me here, ever this day and night, be at my side to light and guard, to rule and guide. Amen. #RandolphHarris 15 of 15
Randolph Harris II International Institute 