Home » friends (Page 68)
Category Archives: friends
Shut Up and Eat that Pot Roast!!!!!!
A reviving personality must be nourished with another kind of new communication—communication with people. Besides opening yourself to the richest of art and knowledge, you must also open yourself to new friendship, particularly to those which can reinforce your newly expanded interests.
Distance is melancholically beautiful, so I have left you for better memory. I have collected all the past dates into a book of verse waiting for your autograph. How long has it been since you noticed yourself warming to someone new, how long since you made even the mildest effort to bring a new person into your life and affections?
I wrote in white clouds, in the blue sky your name, but it was blown away by the wind, and I embroidered it in the sea, but it was broken up by the waves of the sea, so I etched it in my heart, and then nothing would make it disappear. Do not underestimate the difficulty of this process, the true revolution of our times is the disappearance of friendship.
Most of us are so far out of the habit of searching for friends and retaining them that we feel it awkward and painful to begin. Tome goes by slowly, but your baby blue eyes are forever in my heart: they are as pure as crystal, as light as the moon, as deep as abyss and as white as snow…
You have a choice: you do not have to be the victim of loneliness. You can take charge of your present-day relationships by using your awareness and your knowledge of the past. Remembering and understanding the lessons of the past will give you much more control over how you choose to act in the present.
Remembering and getting to the root of your relationship issues can save you from repeating the same mistakes. You can actually choose to avoid that moment when you suddenly realize you have become your mother or father.
We have well-developed wings under your care, roaming in the blue sky homeland. No matter how far and high we fly, there is echo of your instructions. I will never forget your kind words, directing me to the right way.
I will never forget when you were ill, you stood on the platform, teaching us the difficult problems. I will never forget when we blundered, you help us up. I wish the blessing can express our earnings to you. You work hard for the bloom of flowers and maturity of fruits, I will remember your spirits forever.
Secrets and Lies—Author’s Files on Ben Crawford
What vibe did you get in your secret heart? I cannot stress enough to parents, your daughters are special, but so are yours sons, and they also require love, protection, and understanding. I tend to erase it, erase it, erase it, keep trying, erase, keep trying, erase, and finally…well, let the observer make up more than I can represent.
My life is about quality. It is all about sweeping away, putting in…struggle, struggle, struggle and poof—masterpiece! Data on many leading causes of death rates from cirrhosis of the liver, among divorced white males and the general increase in death rates from this disease among all nonmarried groups (except single white females) suggest that unmarried individuals in general consume more alcohol.
There are marked increases in death rates due to motor vehicle accidents and “accidental fires,” with widowed men and women having four- to sevenfold increases in death rates from these causes. Suicide increases fivefold in the widowed white male and fourfold in the widowed nonwhite male and the white female, while death and homicide also increased dramatically.
This doubling of cancer of the respiratory system and then tenfold rise in tuberculosis among divorced white males suggest perhaps differential patterns of cigarette smoking had influenced the results.
Ben Crawford reported: I feel like a monster (in a deep voice). I do not really know what kind of monster. My relationships always start out fine, but then I realize it is not right for me. I end up feeling bad about it, but I just have to leave once I realize that she is not the woman I have been looking for. (There was a long pause, his eyes met mine. He looked like a little boy.)
It happens to me every time I get in a relationship. I cannot seem to stay with anyone. Women end up hating me. I hurt one woman after another. I know it is not their fault. There is something wrong with me, but I do not know what to do.
Analysis: Ben had issues of trying to be a perfectionist, someone everyone loved, and wanted to be, and thought was cool. His requirements for perfection made it impossible for him to find the partner he longed for. He told me his former wife is more like his best friend, and while he had a series of failed relationships, he described himself as his worst enemy.
Ben was not happy being a single man, but at the age of forty-one, he was about to give up. Ben recalled being a young and innocent baby-faced blonde, in his late teens. He desperately wanted to fit in with the other guys name make a name for himself in the entertainment industry. However, one night he had an encounter with several older guys at a bar. He remembered being beat up and tossed around like a rag doll, everything else was a blur.
Ben was fearful of others and suffered intense shame about his experience of being rolled. After his traumatic efforts to disclose what happened, he grew increasingly silent and withdrawn. His friends and family blamed him for the assault and even doubted his story, in spite of the bruises and medical bills. At that time there was no free medical insurance, he had to use his hard earned pay check to patch himself back up.
Some even suggested that Ben had been at fault because he had been partying like everyone else at the bar, and that he was a grown man and should have known what he was getting himself into. For years, Ben has complex and painful reactions to the entire traumatic experience, including the sense of betrayal he felt when those close to him blamed him.
Let us face it, Ben is a very attractive young man, with tan skin, blonde hair, innocent blue eyes, a smile to die for and his tan body is on fleek. Many people have never seen such an attractive young man before, he was the American dream, and sources say he had the nicest butt in legs they had ever seen. Some said he looked white, but had the features of a black man, and they found that extremely attractive.
People were looking to get with him or in him or have him in them. He was so hot, he was like the head cheerleader on the Eagles, but a man. Men and women could not keep their hands off of him. They would rip his clothes off of him like he was a rock star.
As he started to get emotional, Ben told me: I genuinely preferred being in a lasting relationship, if only I knew how to achieve that state. I have sets of extreme standards for myself, as well as others. I am traumatized by self-doubt, and a critical insider voice that never allows a partner to be good enough.
I have a hard time staying with anyone and making a firm decision to stay because I am driven by self-doubt and anxiety about making a mistake. A strong sense of fear paralyses me and I rush to judgmental thinking. However, I am longing for the gifts that only intimate relationships can bring. I want a close relationship in which I could give and receive comfort. I do not care about your eyebrows and my feet might stink sometimes, but if we love each other you have to accept that!
Ben continues: Last year, at this very time, I had been a wanderer, hopelessly without companions, and then you came back into my life, with a letter in your pocket, needing my help. I was darkly and passionately thrilled by all this, and I felt those Netflixs and chills again. I found myself in a cycle of initial delight about my beloved son, only to be followed by heart crushing disappointment. He allegedly never stay single for long, craving the hopeful period of the courtship stage and money. He was out letting people rip him. I was outraged! How could this be true?!
As each promising new day deepened, I felt like I was having a heart attack, and became angry, and eventually backed into a cloud of apologetic guilt. I had turned him into a young version of myself. He was drinking heavily, doing drugs, and allegedly having sex with older men for money. It broke my heart! I wanted to end him. I did not want him gassing and dipping out of nightclubs and turning more tricks than that circus act, that Robbery Fee mistral show.
I dealt with this fear by turning to an intensely critical insider voice that found fault with my former wife and my son. Not a masculine thing to do. Then suddenly there was an agitation in me so great that only lying alone, scrunched up on the bed crying, could comfort me.
Matthew Ryan Phillippe is really a hero. He took on the role as the first gay teenager on TV when he played the character of Billy Douglas on One Life to Live. At the time, being gay was not an easy thing to do. Matthew Shepherd was tied to a car, beaten, and then hanged on a fence. He is dead for being gay, and never did anything wrong. So to take on such a powerful role knowing the potential consequences was amazing.
Ryan probably kept others from killing themselves or being killed for being gay. Ryan is such a great actor and some of his best movies are White Squall, Chaos, Stop Loss, Straight A’s, Little Boy Blue, 54, Lincoln Lawyer, Flags of Our Father, Catch Hell, and a TV show called Secrets and Lies. This man should have earned an Oscar by now, he is one of the most talented and diverse actors in the World. Brad Pitt and Denzel Washington are not as talented nor good looking as Ryan Phillippe.
Ryan Phillippe is now started some kind of technology corporation that matches consumers with products, and you can also play games, win cool prizes and even interact with the determined young man. We are sure his new endeavor, called Deedle (TheDeedle.com) will be a huge success. This man is gold.
Friendship is an Affection of Earth
Dreams were with her the true realities; externals she accepted as other people accepted dreams—with difference. Visions are so wonderful that some people stop short of ascribing them directly to Heaven. The higher the intelligence, the more faith, and the less credulity: Paris rejects more than we, but outbelievers us all. Paris has a more comprehensive view of the moon, than the man in the moon himself. At school, friendship is a passion. It entrances the being; it tears the heart. All loves of after life can never bring its rapture, or its wretchedness; no bliss so absorbing, no pangs of jealousy or despair so crushing and so keen! There are jilts in friendship as well as in love; and, by the behavior of some people in both, one would almost imagine that they industriously sought to gain the affections of others with a view only of making the parties miserable. A treacherous friend is the most dangerous enemy. Friendship makes us warmly espouse the interest of others; but it is very cold to the gratification of their passions. Perhaps the most delightful friendships are those in which there is much agreement, much disputation, and yet more personal liking. That new sense which is the gift of sorrow,–that susceptibility to the bare offices of humanity which raises them into a bond of loving fellowship, as to haggard men among the icebergs the mere presence of an ordinary comrade stirs the deep fountains of affections. The beauty and loveliness of friendship is too strong for dim eyes. It is the fate of most people who mingle with the World, and attain even the prime of life, to make many real friends, and lose them in the course of nature. It is the fate of all authors or chroniclers to create imaginary friends, and lose them in the course of art.
Every person’s his own friend, except sometimes some people are nobody’s enemies but their own. True friendship disregards selfish considerations, and rather risks to offend by endeavoring to serve, than aims to please by concurring in what is injurious. Friends must be used as the musicians tune their strings, who finding them in a discord, do not break them, but either by intention or remission, frame them to a pleasant consent: or as riders handle their young colts, who finding them wild and untractable, bring them to a good pace, with a gentle rein, not with a sharp spur, or as the Scythians ruled their slaves not with cruel weapons but with the shew of small whips. The same may be said of friendship at first sight as of love at first sight as of love at first sight: it is the only true one, the only noble one. It bespeaks confidence. Who would go sounding his way into love or friendship, like a strange ship by night, into an enemy’s harbor? Love may do much, but friendship shall do wonders; friendship, the nobler passion of the mind, born with the heart, must still with that survive, when love, the silly baby of the fancy, can be no more. Much less pleasure in being the master of acres than the friend of one. Generosity will not surely permit a worthy mind to doubt of its honorable and beneficent intentions: much less will it allow itself to shock, to offend any one; and, least of all, a person thrown by adversity, mishap, or accident, into its protection. It is the proud consciousness of certain qualities that it cannot reveal to the everyday World that gives to genius that shy, and reserved, and trouble air, which puzzles and flatters you when you encounter it.
It is a Wonderful Life
Early love is frequently ambitious in choosing its object. People may love you for your body or name, but your face and eyes are the beautiful talents that brought you to fame. You are thunder and lightning before the rainstorm. Although it is a glimmer, it arouses my courage to wrestle with wind and rain. Glorious histories do not limit you today. Ages do not become your constraint for your aims for the far future. We are not wise in the contempt of others, but in calm approbation of ourselves–it shows the wisdom and tolerance of the star. The most perfect being, you are, and with love life will bloom. Never judge the heart of a wit by the tongue. Be wise, and that wisdom shall be a God unto thee; be contented, and that is thy Heaven. I see a crystal-like heart through your blue eyes and blonde hair. When I stumbled and required supporting, who told me beautiful stories and walked me through the park, kissing my hurt—you. It takes years and maturity to make the discovery that the power of faith is nobler than the power of doubt; and that there is a celestial wisdom in the ingenuous propensity to trust, which belongs to honest and noble natures.
May my blessing be your clean spring for your thirsty heart on this voyage, sweet comfort when you have trouble and beautiful flowers at your victory meeting. With your love and my affection, we will build an impeccably happy life. There is still beauty in the World. What you do not see in yourself, others see in you, you do matter. You will remember today as your darkest day, and tomorrow better, and the day after better still, you will go on. Let the Sun and blue Sky, clouds wake up the hidden memory, several words in the letter bring my regards to the faraway lover. In this silvery World, the white snowflakes are my missing and blessing for you, the angels of the snow. How brilliant and tender is the moon on the night when you bid the moon a goodnight. Only someone with a tender heart would say such a kind thing to the diamond in the sky. May your life be filled with happiness and ecstasy. The World was made for you. In this society, we must have something to endure, as well as to enjoy. My affairs are in the hands of him who guides the planets in their course, and who causes the Sun to shine.
They first think of the Sun when the people surprise at bright color of rainbow. I first think of you when I open my eyes. Divine understanding attends me on the way, and I shall not be hindered in my work. My affairs are controlled by perfect intelligence, and cannot be hindered from expression. I know that all that I do is done from the one motive: to express life; and love will be expressed in and through me. I cannot hinder it. I am controlled by intelligence. We are all very much alike when we are in our first love. Perfect love has a breath of poetry which can exalt the relations of the least-instructed human beings. Love is a stronger passion than vanity. I am inspired in my work from on high with lofty ideals, and my thought is illumined by the all-knowing one. May your Christmas be filled with special moment, warmth and happiness, the joy of loved ones near, and may the blessing of the day last throughout the year. Love dissolves all fear, casts out all doubt and sets the captive free. The poems are the words I want to speak to you. I am missing you silently. Keep the best things in memory and give you my blessings. I wish you a happy New Year and a merry Christmas. Love is in all things a most wonderful teacher. We have been so blinded by thinking and feeling that we have never seen the World. The purer the beauty, the more it will be out of the World. Endless love and blessing for you. You are the most cherishable Christmas present and everything to me forever.
Secrets and Lies–Make Your Stories Sell!
He who is in the clutches of the law may think himself lucky if he escapes with the loss of his tail. Nature has created inequalities in men and things, and, as human institutions are intended to prevent the strong from oppressing marginalized members of the human population, ergo, the laws should encourage natural inequalities as a legitimate consequence. Secrets and Lies incorporates subliminal angles of the human psyche—obsessions some aspire to conceal, wickedness many refuse to admit. Detective Cornell acts as a malevolent force to Ben Crawford throughout the mini-series, representing the seduction of evil and the fear and torment within Ben Crawford. Once she realizes that Ben is out there, Detective Cornell becomes compelled with finding him and making him pay for a crime he did not commit, allowing the criminal to walk free, so she can inflict the venom of evil into his soul and turn him into a villain before the eyes of the community. detective Cornell knows Ben Crawford is innocent and feels culpability for the part she played in ceasing a man who has already suffered a tragic lose, and destroying his home, family, career, and life. As long as Ben continues to remain free, not only is it a constant reminder that law enforcement and community members tortured and persecuted and innocent man, but it also leaves the city and aggressors with criminal liability and possibly civil liability as well, and they all regret the decisions they made. However, the thugs keep profiling and trying to convict Ben Crawford because they feel if they can just convince themselves, and others that he is bad, it will remove any guilt or liability they have. However, what is done in secret will be brought to the light. So, detective Cornell and the community obsessively purses Ben Crawford. Detective Cornell probably projects her rage and frustration onto Ben Crawford for other things she has done in the past. Ben Crawford and detective Cornell are opposites, he has the World to live for, he is whole and complete and loved, but detective Cornell has committed some egregious sins, and is cold, fragmented, and lost. However, this villain, detective Cornell helps to bring out the hero in Ben Crawford, the audience sees his true qualities of love, compassion, strength, and perseverance, and he grows in the process—David and Goliath, a biblical example.
Although detective initially appears as an evil villain, there comes a turning point where she realizes that she is wrong and that they are putting Ben Crawford’s life in danger. She realizes that they are no better than ISIS and the people who attacked Paris, France, and takes a real interest in “helping” him. The innocents, determination, and compassion that Ben Crawford conveys, allows Ben Crawford to bring out the true detective in Cornell, to fight her way back to being a righteous detective. Yet, detective Cornell’s rage is one of her more enduring characteristics. She is constantly harassing and stalking Ben Crawford and using her job as an investigator to justify her actions, she allows people to interrogate him to see how she can twist and mangle his words, making him look like he committed a murder, even though her constant profiling of Ben has almost gotten him killed twice. However, sometime detective Cornell feels guilty about the ferocity of the evil she inflicts Ben Crawford and his family. Detective Cornell takes extreme measures to judiciously project her anger onto Ben Crawford by expending immeasurable city resources to try and wrongly convict him, at the expense of taxpayers and potentially putting other members of the community in danger. The resources used to make Ben Crawford look guilty could have been used to hire more law enforcement to protect others and pay unfunded pensions. However, detective Cornell’s interactions with Ben Crawford are slowly changing, she is no longer blaming him for her short comings, but instead feels a sadness and tries to connect with him and even protect him by letting him know his life is in danger. Detective Cornell desperately wants Ben Crawford to be saved, and her ability for good surpasses her ever-present anger and frustration. We see detective Cornell reach a point of clarity as she now is trying to save Ben Crawford.
Through the mini-series of Secrets and Lies, we see that people want to disrupt Ben Crawford’s life, and detract him, with strict authority, to slow down his accelerating movement to adulthood. Ben is accused of murder to keep him from growing and expanding beyond this sadistic cult in the small town. They want Ben to stay suppressed and small. However, Ben Crawford is a force of youthful heroism and is oblivious to danger. While the rest of the community is constantly acting, but rarely thinking about the repercussions of their actions. It becomes more and more easy for the audience to relate to Ben Crawford because we see he is righteous, and the rest of the community, and law enforcement are looked at as the bad guys. They see one person struggling, and instead of helping him, they attack him, without even knowing the facts. Not everyone can relate to Ben Crawford’s desire for justice, or his role as an empathetic hero, nor detective Cornell’s journey for domination and force to salvation. This is a story of good and evil and is meant to open the mind and show people that pack mentality is wrong and often times dangerous. Get your facts straight before acting on your limited vision, releasing your fear and frustration onto others. Unauthorized and abhorrent thoughts will sometime invade the best human heart. Remember, we live in a World, were an African American woman, Rosa Parks, was arrested because she refused to move to the back of the bus and let a Caucasian man have her seat. Now Rosa Parks is a legendary hero for calling attention to civil rights. By standing up for herself, Rosa Parks has protected countless lives from being wrongly stalked and harassed by law enforcement like our hero Ben Crawford is done in Secrets and Lies.
Fire on the Wind–Classic White Man
The World’s greatest need is mutual confidence. No human being knows all the secrets of another’s heart. Yet, we all have some relationships with others, from a passing acquaintance to others we feel a deep kindred bond for, and this makes social life a practical possibility. These relations manifest over time, and friendship, like love, is the child of sympathy, not of complaint. Most people like intense and strong relationships because you form trust, but some relationships are weak. Friendships makes us warmly espouse the interest of others; but it is very cold to the gratification of their passions. Whatever the number of a person’s friends, there will be times in our lives when we have few; but if we have only one enemy, we are lucky indeed if we have not one too many. The beauty and loveliness of friendship is too strong for dim eyes. We all know that we are loved, but some people go through a period of isolation, and it makes them feel unloved, and it is not the type of void that can be filled with the sex, it is a yearning that only warm tender arms can embrace.
The way to strengthen a friendship is through spending time with a person, having emotional intensity, intimacy, and reciprocal services. There are attributes in the in the architecture and conservation of relationships. Perhaps the most delightful friendships are those in which there is much agreement, much disputation, and yet more personal liking. Exalted minds enter more rapidly and closely into the connection of friendship than those of a vulgar stamp. Friendship is a passion. It entrances the being; it tears the soul. All loves of after life can never bring its rapture, or its wretchedness; no bliss so absorbing, no pangs of jealousy or despair so crushing and so keen! The more time you put into relationship, the stronger it will become. This entails the how long you have known each other, how often you see each other, and how much time you spend together. The more time you put into your relation, the stronger it will become. If your relationship is new, it can grow strong if you spend a lot of time together. Time is the foundation of all relationships, and out of love to oneself, one must speak better of a friend than an enemy.
Love is nothing in comparison with the intimacy of two congenial friends. When two people share an intense emotional experience, it strengthens the relationship between them. People often go through intense and dangerous events together, and these experiences foster emotional intensity. If a good face is a letter of recommendation, a good heart is a letter of credit. Intimacy can many forms. While physical and sexual intimacy certainly counts, any instance where a person makes oneself vulnerable to another is an intimate moment. Virtue is so dear to the human heart, that when its form forsakes us, we pursue its shadow. Successful moments of intimacy build trust and build strong bonds. As relationships grow sometimes, they become physical, this usually happens when a guy stops trying to be tough and shows the object of his affection that he is caring and loves them.
There be grains of sense in a simpleton, so long as he be natural. Sometimes people feel stupid when they believe they are giving so much, but not getting much in return, and this is not all directed at one person. In life sometimes we give so much of ourselves and want someone to be there for us, but trust me, even just a walk in the park with a good friend warms the heart. The favors and help that people give one another is called benevolence. Benevolence is the duty of one who aspires to wisdom. When people do things for each other, they tend to feel closer to each other. However, in covert military style situations, people find other ways to demonstrate many dramatic examples of reciprocal services. Sometimes people do work for each other. Someone might promote you if you help them, and emotional intimacy develops. After a while a person might feel like you all are family and expect certain things and feel let down if the services you provide are lacking or missing. They may also feel downtrodden if it is suspected that you are fond of another person or organization. That is because you have an exchange of trust, warmth, intimacy, reciprocal services, emotional intensity, and a long history together. And clearly your bond is still strong through all the ups and downs.
However, sometimes situations go one so long, and they have to do with critics attack the person you care about, while you are trying to maintain a professional relationship, and it becomes frustrating, and one might feel bad or stupid when they reply in the same manner, and it is like how long is this foolishness going to keep going on? A person might even want to leave the environment because of the circumstance of which they cannot seem to control no matter how hard they try. Imagine two people you are very close with whom you spend a lot of time with, have intense emotional experiences, share intimacy, and for whom you do favors. It is very unlikely that those two people do not have at least a passing acquaintance. They do not need to have a strong relationship, but we would expect them to have some connection to one another. It is so unlikely that this situation occurs that it is termed forbidden. These situations will eventually resolve themselves when a tie forms between the two previous strangers. The only certain as well as laudable way of setting ourselves above another person: by becoming their benefactor. People develop stronger relationships by spending time together, sharing intense emotional experiences, and intimacies, and doing things for one another. Some relationships that develop are destined to be. You are the most excellent of people and your lips have been anointed with grace, since God has blessed you for every.
Randolph Harris II International Institute 