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Peter My Mink is Dragging on the Floor
A stunning first impression is not the same thing as love at first sight, but surely it is an invitation to consider the matter. We are drawn to people, inspired by them, and even strengthened by their examples. If first impressions are sufficiently favorable, persons will be motivated, when they begin to interact, to provide behaviors that will result in favorable outcomes to the other, and to the degree each is successful in this respect, they become progressively motivated to provide rewards that will maintain the relationship. Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. One of the most important rewards that persons exchange as a relationship develops is support for each other’s view of themselves as persons, their self-concepts. How do you and I become so converted to the truth, so full of faith, so dependent on God that we are able to meet trials and even be strengthened by them? A fundamental purpose of Earth is personal growth and attainment. We will have challenges, even difficulties, where decisions of great importance must be made so that we can grow, develop, and succeed in this mortal test. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7
Gratefully, God’s love is perfect. God has moved so deeply in the hearts of so many. Some people regard unconditional love is something that is real, and the most real things there is. The most consistent finding in the empirical literature on attraction is that persons are attracted to others whom they perceive as accepting them as they see themselves and who allow them to behave in a self-validating manner. Thus, in the early phases of interaction, each person begins tentatively to reveal one’s self to the other. The process of self-disclosure involves first, information about the self that each feels relatively confident about and relatively certain that the other will find acceptable. We may disclose information about our intellectual aptitude, or athletic abilities to see how we relate to others. This type of comparison helps us decide whether we are superior or inferior to others. Disclosures about abilities or talents can also make us more relatable to others. For instance, 80 percent of people find faithfulness as a top attribute they find attractive about a person. A sense of humor is important and it makes people seem more intelligent. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7
For long relationships, individuals tend to prefer others who are altruistic, kind, and do good deeds. Being involved in a charity is seen as a really attractive trait. Other studies have shown the people with dogs are generally more attractive also because they have a capacity to love and care for another being over a long term. We want to make ourselves open to others, through self-disclosure, but we also want to maintain a sense of privacy. If someone knows too much about you upfront, it might impede them from going further in the relationship because they see it as too much of a risk or hassle. Later in the process of self-disclosure, persons revel more intimate details about which they are less confident, hence in greater need of social validation, and which they are less certain will be regarded favorably. Revelations at this level play an important part in the process of self-creation. As a relationship develops, each person feels sufficiently secure to try out or tentatively display new elements of identity. Such displays may take the form of revealing hitherto private hopes and fears about the self, or more indirectly, of recounting to the other past or current episodes of behavior where the person behaved in a fashion viewed as confirming some nascent element of self. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7
Studies of the self-disclosure process generally find that, in the early part of a relationship at least, each person tends to pace the process of disclosure by revealing to the other information about the same level of intimacy. As in any other exchange, persons feel obligated to adhere to the norm of reciprocity. To the extent that one person’s revelations at progressively more intimate levels are increasingly rewarding in terms of signifying regard and trust to the other partner, the latter feels obligated to return revelations thought to be of equal rewarding value. However, disclosures that are too intimate often highlight character, personality, or other kinds of sensitivity information, thus decreasing congeniality. People who make intimate disclosures too early in relationships are often perceived as insecure, which further decreases someone’s interest in them. One time I was walking by a fancy Italian restaurant, and two guys in their forties were on what seemed to me as their first date, and one of them was telling the other guy about how painful his recovery from cancer was. The guy he was with replied, “Oh, gees,” and picked up a bread stick and ate it. He seemed rather pensive and I got the impression that it would probably be their last date. The process of self-disclosure contributes to another basic interpersonal process, the growth of trust, which in turn further facilitates more intimate disclosure. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7
While there is not complete agreement on a definition of trust, a key element appears to be a sense of certainty that the trusted person will not behave at some point in the future in a way that endangers anticipated favorable outcomes of the trusting person. When first dating, you want to make an individual feel good and talk about things that make them happy. It is like you are selling yourself in a sense. People have options and they do not want to get attached to someone who might drain them of their emotional or financial resources. Each person’s revelations of progressively more intimate details concerning one’s self, and their acceptance and confirmation by the other, give assurance that any resultant vulnerability will not be exploited, either because both partners are equally vulnerable or because each perceives the exchange of progressively more intimate details as a sign of increasingly close interpersonal ties. Generally, as the details get more intimate, that means that the emotional bond in the relationship is probably increasing. So, when the relationship seems to be getting more serious, that is a good time to tell a person sensitive information about yourself that might affect them wanting to have a long-term commitment with you, and that is only fair. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7
More than likely if a person cares enough and can deal with it, then they will likely continue in the relationship because they are already emotionally and somewhat financially invested. For instance, some people have commitment issues and cannot figure out whether they want to move to another part of the country or go back to school, or even just a plan to get a cup of coffee with a friend. One might be reluctant to disclose that he or she has problems making choices, from something as small as choosing what movie to see, to something more significant like signing a lease for house. The fact that persons perceive the intimacy of disclosure as indicative of attraction allows the self-disclosure process to function as a pacing device in the development of a relationship. By the depth of disclosure to another, a person may indicate one’s degree of emotional involvement in the relationship. While our emphasis so far has been on the manner in which self-disclosure allows for maintenance and creation of self-elements, an extremely important reward, self-disclosure provides each partner with information concerning other outcomes as well. Persons learn what kinds of behaviors have reward value to each other and which behaviors are costly. This information, in turn, can be used as a guide in arriving at mutually satisfying patterns of exchange that become a part of the structure of interdependence that constitutes the relationship. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7
As you get to now a person who seemed to be commitment issues, you might begin to understand that person has a lot going for one’s self, and just needed to meet someone who is trustworthy. That individual might be optimistic, loving, and a sincere individual who wants to settle down. People are capable of changing, but not until they are ready to understand how things are controlling their lives. It requires both willingness and openness to new insights and new activities before one is able to take the first step in successfully challenging relationship issues. God has given us the capacity to exercise faith, that we may find peace, joy, and purpose in life. However, to employ its power, faith must be founded on something. There is no more solid foundation than faith in the love Heavenly Father has planned. Lord, make us an instrument of your peace. Grant that we may not so much seek to be loved as to love. God, who from among all your angels, chose the Archangel Gabriel to announce the mystery of the Incarnation, mercifully grant that we who solemnly remember him on Earth may feel the benefit of his patronage in Heaven, who lives and reigns for ever and ever. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7
Love if the Greatest thing in the World
Love is the greatest thing in the World. Friends and romantic partners tend to have certain characteristics in common, such as age, education, and even intelligence. Similarity related to attraction has a long history of empirical support. As covenant-keeping men and women, we need to lift each other and help each other become the people the Lord would have us become. Generally, persons are attracted to others who are similar in social background characteristics and value. The idea that romantic partners or friends would be similar seems pretty intuitive. Studies of friendship suggests that people also have a preference for leisure activities with others who are similar to them. The degree of similarity with respect to opinions, personality traits, and social background characteristics of stimulus persons has for the most part supported the similarity-attraction relationship. Agreement with another leads the person to anticipate rewarding interaction, and where it actually facilitates joint pleasurable activities, it also can be expected to lead to attraction. Agreement in activity preferences, attitudes, and values not only ensures that persons will hit upon mutually satisfying activities, but that they will be able to carry them out with a minimum of friction. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
Next to inspiring talks, music, TV shows, food, and prayers that always touch our hearts, persons are attracted to others who agree with their opinions, but dislike others whose views are divergent. Agreement is rewarding and disagreement punishing, either because liking an agreeing other and disliking one who disagrees provides a balanced cognitive state—one that is psychologically pleasant and comfortable. Or because agreement satisfies a person’s affectance needs, the need to feel secure in dealing with the World. Another general explanation is the persons tend to anticipate that individuals who are similar to them will like them. Homogamy or similarity in social background characteristics and accompanying similarity in interests, attitudes, and values in marital partners is in part the result of structural aspects of society that favor higher rates of interactions among persons similar in these respects, leading to increased chances of their forming a relationship regardless of these similarities. It is important to help create an environment where the Spirit of the Lord can abide. We need to work together to lift each other up and the rising generation and help them reach their divine potential as heirs of eternal life. We should be able to rejoice with each other as we try to become our very best selves. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
There is so much more of happiness to be had when we can rejoice in another’s success and not just in our own. Similarity appears to have stronger effects in the early stages of a relationship because of the kinds of rewards and costs persons experience at later periods in their relationship. Similarity is a filtering device, as it influences each person’s anticipation of future rewards in general, and in particular the reward of being liked. One of the strongest associations on attraction is the correlation between liking and the perception of being liked in turn. People are insecure concerning their acceptance by others, similarity appears to be more powerful factor in influencing their choice of associates than when they feel more secure. We want to feel like we are a precious gift, and would like to express our love for our companions. Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity. Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity. Like all gifts which come from above, words are sacred, and must be spoken with care, and by constraint of the Spirit. Attitudes seem less important at later points in a relationship when there are other bases for reciprocity of liking. In the long run, the need for a relationship with someone we love is so strong that it overcomes differences. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
Physical attractiveness has been shown to have effects similar to central traits or master statuses when it comes to dating. Physical attractiveness accounts for a large part of the variance in dating partners’ responses to each other, including the desire to continue the relationship. Physically attractive people are liked. Attraction may result from the rewards of esthetic satisfaction. Persons may receive rewards from others as a result of their forming a relationship with an attractive other, either because this conforms with a cultural norm that persons toward whom one is attracted is supposed to be physically attractive or because one’s ability to form a relationship with an attractive or because one’s ability to form a relationship with an attractive other attests to one’s own desirability in the eyes of others. Studies have shown that for males at least, that a male romantically involved with an attractive female enhances his status. Both males and females attributed personality traits of higher social desirability to pictures of attractive persons than to pictures of those of average attractiveness or those judged relatively unattractive. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
Respondents also predicted that more attractive people would have more favorable life experiences, including higher occupational status, more successful marriages, and in general greater happiness. Attractive people are more likely to win election, attractive university professors get higher evaluations, and attractive people are usually treated more leniently in the legal system. Physically attractive people are also seen as intimately warmer and more responsive, illustrating the effects of selective perception and perceptual accentuation. Research has also suggested that the effects of the cultural stereotype of the physically attractive are often to bring about behavior on the part of the perceiver that, in the manner of a self-fulfilling prophecy, elicits behavior on the part of the perceived person that further enhances the attractiveness of that person. When people are told that someone is attractive, they are more likely to believe it. Research also shows that small babies prefer to look at attractive faces than less attractive face. Further, children tend to prefer attractive child. And adults think that attractive children are more intelligent and successful. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
These findings show that people often attach beneficial qualities to attractive people. This is sometimes called the physical attractiveness stereotype—the tendency for people to assume that attractive people possess other socially desirable traits in addition to their looks. To some extent, this is true. Some research shows that physically attractive people are more popular and out outgoing. However, these small differences may be due, in part, to self-fulfilling prophecies: because being physically attractive is socially desirable, attractive people may become more confident and outgoing and so may be more confident and outgoing and so may be more popular with others. Also, it is important to note that physical attractiveness has its drawback. In particular, more attractive people are often the subject of unwanted advances and resentment from less attractive individuals. Nevertheless, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. God, strengthen us in the power of your might. Guide us against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the Heavenly places. Protect our soul and grant us discernment to recognize your truth. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
I Remember Looking through the Tears towards the Sky
You go off and leave me here with nobody home. The concept of compromising in a relationship is something that many people have to do. However, there is an emphasis placed on the instability of relationship involving persons of different choice status or popularity, the more popular person tending to leave the relationship because of the availability of more attractive alternatives or, when remaining, tending to exploit the person of lower choice status which encouraged the latter to leave. Overall, people tend to be attracted to those of similar desirability, at least in terms of physical attractiveness. Middle-class individuals of the dominant group take into consideration the satisfaction of socioemotional needs as being central to the relationship of marriage. The core features of emotional development include the ability to identify and understand one’s own feelings, accurately read and comprehend emotional states in others, manage strong emotions and their expression in a constructive manner, to regulate one’s own behavior, to develop empathy for others, and to establish and maintain relationships. Spouses needs for trust, stability, communication, intimacy, and interpersonal sharing must be met. When these needs are cared for, the marriage can become purposeful beyond its own parameters. #RandolphHarris 1 of 8
Housing prices have increased on average nearly 50 percent over the last decade, so among working-class couples socioemotional needs may not be as important as they are with middle-class couples. Parents, younger generations and those living in lower-income households report higher levels of stress than American overall, especially when it comes to stress about money. As a result, people with lower-incomes may put up with more socioemotional instability because they are struggling to pay the bills, as is, and need their partner to meet their financial obligations. However, that does not mean that just because people are suffering from an economic disadvantage that they will put up with abuse. Studies also show that many low-income couples are unhappy because of the financial hardships they face, so it may not be a problem in the love department. Also, low-income people living alone have higher living costs, which can make them bloody miserable. It can be an utterly horrid lifestyle, which may seem like a punishment on the socially inept and inadequate. They cannot afford holidays, nor can they afford to live anywhere better than what some might describe as student hellhole flats, as they do not have a partner’s credit to draw upon and furnish their place to a polished enough standard. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8
Disabled people are the World’s largest minority and because of that they are very much misunderstood. Not all disabled people get around in a wheel chair, some have injuries that are not visible, which might be the result of an accident or illness or they may have been born that way. Individuals who have invisible disabilities face discrimination and microaggressions. Financial exploitation of adults who are elderly or disabled is an increasing problem. It is good to look out and to help those in our communities who are elderly or have disabilities. After all, it is everyone’s business to stop adult abuse, neglect, and exploitation. 16.3 percent of adults have a physical functioning difficulty. There are 77 million adults aged 18 and over with at least one basic actions difficulty or complex activity limitation. To make sense of the World around them, they build upon their individual experiences and knowledge. However, performing daily activities may be challenging for these individuals. These challenges may interfere with social well-being and cause distress. Young adults with physical limitations are less socially active and have fewer romantic relationships than their peers who do not have physical limitations. It is through hardships of life that we grow toward Godhood as our character is shaped in the crucible of affliction, as the events of life take place whole God respects the agency of humanity. #RandolphHarris 3 of 8
The physical impairments may limit the ability to participate in actives with others. And also, because young adults with physical disabilities are already suffering from problems, they often spend every day thinking about how will condition affect them as they age, and will their situations become too much for them to handle when they are senior citizens because they may not be as strong as they are not. Because of that, some people may feel frustrated, angry, or sad as a result of having a physical impairment, especially if they believe those impairments pose challenges to finding a significant other or living independently. Also, a person may not like the place they live, but because of their conditions, unlike most everyone else, they cannot go pick up more hours at work and earn more money to upgrade their lifestyle. And because these people are vulnerable and they may be good at certain things, unscrupulous individuals may use them for their talents, promising rewards, but give nothing in return. However, when the person with the physical limitation stops assisting the individual(s), they may then try to extort that person in order to keep receiving their services for free. People with disabilities do look for opportunities, but are sometimes taken advantage of. The journey through life has had bumps, detours, twists, and turns, mostly as the result of life in a fallen World that is mean to be a place of proving and test. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8
It is important to keep the commandments of God. With love and prayers with can help others learn the compassion and grace of God. Because they suffer from a disability and experience undue hardships and are sometimes are prevented from reaching their dreams, it causes some people to wonder why they are here? This is why we must teach people the love of God. When people really feel the love of God, even though they are experiencing a lot of difficulties, they will be truly happy to be alive. One young man said, “I may not understand why my life has turned out the way it has, and I have no idea where it will go, but serving God is really the best thing ever. There is nothing as wonderful as this. I am so happy. What a joy and marvelous light I behold; my soul is filled with joy as exceeding as is my pain.” As we accept our difficulties and trials with patience and faith and find joy in our covenant path, we are comforted in knowing the Lord knows us. He knows our struggles and concerns. God knows of our desires to serve him with devotion and ambition. And he will guide us and bless us as we do so. Please never feel that you are some kind of second class citizen no matter your limitations. In the Kingdom of God there are no second-class citizens. #RandolphHarris 5 of 8
People who have integrity of heart are people to be trusted—because trust is built on integrity. Earning the Lord’s trust is a blessing that comes through great effort on our part. Trust is a blessing based on obedience to God’s laws. When we keep our promises to the Lord, his trust grows. The rewarding internal state of enhanced self-esteem and the reward of approval from others are also involved in generating attraction in still another way. To gain and maintain the status of normality, persons are expected by others and themselves to have friends and intimate relationships. Regardless of the features of the relationship or characteristics of the persons involved, the fact of having a relationship, such as marriage, validates one’s personal adequacy, heterosexual normality, and personal maturity in the eyes of others as well as of oneself. Although recent trends toward greater acceptance of the single state for adults in our society may indicate a relaxation of normative pressures in this direction, they still exist. Whatever your circumstances or the reasons for them, how wonderful you are. Along the way, you will obtain compensatory blessings, even if they are not immediately apparent. However, we are reminded that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions. #RandolphHarris 6 of 8
Hold out the best hope for the World, including for your future happiness. Self-supplied rewards are not only involved in conformity processes influencing behavior in the early stage of a relationship, they are implicated in other ways as well. Contemporary social learning theory recognizes that persons can, through their control over their own cognitive processes, administer rewards and punishments by imagining certain consequences of their behavior. It is probable that persons contribute to early growth of a relationship by imagining future rewards and by recounting and, in a sense, replaying their imagination early pleasurable contacts with their partners. The considerable preoccupation of each partner with the other during the early stages of the courtship relationship probably involves a good bit of this self-rewarding activity. Although you often feel alone, in truth you are never totally on your own. #RandolphHarris 7 of 8 As you move forward in patience and in faith, providence will move with you; Heaven will bestow its needful blessings. Your perspective and view of life will change when, rather than being cast down, you look up. Feel the sense of greater acceptance of yourself and life, with an understanding heart, and deeper gratitude for what you have. Lord,we earnestly seek after you, we seek your kingdom, your will that Heaven may come to Earth and your presence would be known by all. We lay our plans before you, please rearrange them as you see fit, God. And lead us in everlasting way. We give you the desires of our hearts, our ambitions, and surrender them all to you. God, please anoint them for your purposes and glory. We give your our whole being, our gifts and our character, please come and sharpen our skills and transform our hearts this and every day. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 8 of 8
First Impressions
There is nothing better than to love one another, as love is the elixir that makes the World go around. Initial attraction and the likelihood that a relationship will be formed will depend upon both individuals’ estimates concerning the value of the outcomes to be expected from the relationship, and concern the probabilities that such outcomes will be realized. Family background, values, physical attractiveness, and communication styles are just some of the factors that influence the selection of romantic relationships. These estimates, in turn, will be influenced by a number of tendencies characteristic of person perception and self-presentation, by elements in the situation that influence both, and by a number of interactional processes. People tend, where possible, to notice and distort the characteristics of others in the direction of their current motivational states. Research on perception and attention shows that we see more of what we look for; so if you are looking for signs of kindness, that is more likely to stand out to you. How one thinks about and interprets one’s partner’s actions, intentions, and words also affects how we feel and understand a situation with them, which in turn affects how we behave towards them. #RandolphHarris 1 of 5
Various pieces of information that a person receives about another do not enter equally into determining the total impression of that person. Instead, some kinds of information exert strong effects on how other information is interpreted. Placement of persons in certain social categories or statuses powerfully constrains the characteristics attributed to them by others. Early information and impression have greater effects on the perception of others than does later information. Thus, first impressions have considerable impact and, where favorable, provide a certain momentum to the development of a relationship. People respond more enthusiastically to an individual who comes across as trustworthy rather than confident. We are judging how warm and trustworthy the person is, and what their intentions towards us are. We are also looking to figure out how strong and competent this person is. Not only do persons in interaction attempt to control the kinds of information available to others, but they, as well as others in the situation, may influence the attributions that are finally arrived at. #RandolphHarris 2 of 5
Everyone understand that you do not get a second chance to make that first impression count! And that first impression sticks with your love target—it is the basis for their psychological assessment of you are a potential romantic partner. Attributions, particularly unfavorable ones, frequently are challenged by the target person, and people initially attracted to another are motivated to impress the other with his or her rewarding qualities. If people are so motivated, they tend to adopt a number of self-presentation strategies or tactics of ingratiation that include, in addition to flattery, conformity in opinion, judgement, and behavior to that of the other and attributing attractive characteristics to themselves directly or indirectly. Two basic processes underlie such tactics: self-presentation and altercasting, and both of these are involved in the more general process of identity bargaining. People take notice of general levels of social sophistication and their mannerisms. Identity bargaining means in the first encounters, people attempt to present themselves as a certain kind of person and at the same time attempt to cast the other person into an identity that will fit these preferred lines of action. #RandolphHarris 3 of 5
These identities presented and cast, in first encounters at least, tend to be favorable because beneficially valued identities are most acceptable and facilitative at this stage. In addition, norms of politeness and consideration that influence behavior of newly acquainted persons favor this course. People may be involved daily in round of segmental interaction without developing a personal relationship until something untoward occurs to jolt them out of their role-constrained behavior. When people are confronted with routine role behavior, they tend not to attribute underlying dispositions to others or to form impressions of what others are really like, nor does routine role behavior allow for or require the kind of interactional leeway that permits the joint creation of a personal relationship composed of two distinct identities. Relationship initiation is always to some degree a compromise made against a background of competing alternatives of varying desirability. On our first date, we met for a Mediterranean-inspired brunch, at Café Medina, which is the best date idea for someone you already kind of know. We have the best Belgian waffles, they were golden and crispy on the exterior and fully and soft on the inside. #RandolphHarris 4 of 5
I was not sure if we were in a date until he offered to pay for the meal. I agreed only if I could buy us ice creams for dessert. Our brunch date turned into a day-long excursion around Vancouver, just talking and enjoying each other’s company. I was pretty enamored. The trip to Van Dusen Botanical Garden was so beautiful. Once we passed through the entrance, we were transported into a serene oasis with cool, polished marble, intricate stone pavilions, and pathways shaded by chinar, and cypress trees and flowers. It was a perfect spot for a romantic picnic. There were also vineyards, semi-desert gardens with cacti, and a water lily pond sprinkled with lotus flowers. Mountain peaks surrounded the entire site. I really enjoyed the high brick walls, which enclosed the terraced gardens, inked by a series of fountains and pools. Dear God, loving essence of all there is. Please fill us with your sacred presence. Love and Guide us to the blessings that life has to offer. Our heart is pure; our intentions are clear. Bring us love, joy, peace and prosperity to our lives. May we be embraced in a circle of love, uplifted by your grace. #RandolphHarris 5 of 5
This is the Best Season for Falling in Love
While we strive for the virtue of tolerance, other commendable qualities need not be lost. Suppose you see someone you like in the supermarket, you might start off an encounter by asking them is $26 is too much to pay for eggs. The increasing emphasis on process and on a development approach to attraction has psychological and sociological approaches. Love is special because it is innocent and pure. People in a loving relationship will forever remember the hugs, cuddles, holding hands, sweet whispers, long drives, late night conversations and the romantic walks through the park. The sheer excitement of feeling love will engrave all the sweet moments in your mind forever, as you experience extreme range of emotional highs and lows that make love an epic experience. The growth of a relationship takes places in three stages: an early stage in which initial attraction is based on the stimulus characteristics of the persons, their physical characteristics, and so forth; a second stage where values consensus is explored and confirmed; and a final stage where the details of their roles within the relationship are worked out to the mutual advantage of the partners. Fortunately, for many people, they do not have issues like dear Samantha from Bewitched. You see, beautiful Samantha falls in love with the handsome New York advertising executive Darrin Stephens, and she feel like the luckiest woman in the World. Shortly after, they marry. However, Darrin later on finds out that Samantha is one of a secret society of powerful witches and warlocks and that she has magical powers. A few years go by, and Samantha and Darrin have words over if he would have married her or not knowing that she is a witch, and so they go back in the past, to begin with a precontact or preawareness stage in order to allow consideration of the factors to see if they would influence the relationship.
Things get complicated when Samantha tells Darrin she is a witch before the engagement. The awareness allows for an influence on his first impression of Samantha and the perceptual process and self-presentation disturbs Darrin when she uses her witchcraft manifest two different dinners in a fraction of a second. Although Darrin still asks Samantha to marry him, his boss Larry Tate also finds out that she is a witch and this leads to a role negotiation in the defining and evaluation of the relationship. Larry Tate wants to use Samantha to make their advertising firm the most successful in the World. So, Samantha feels like Darrin is just using her for her powers and to get a promotion to Vice President, and the discussion allowed for consideration of process to the maintenance of the relationship or its eventual dissolution. As a result, Darrin and Samantha almost do not get married. However, Darrin’s boss Larry Tate admits that he is the one who came up with the idea to use Samantha for her powers, and Darrin and Sam still get married, then they go back to the future and are happy that their love is true. No matter if she told him she was a witch or not, Darrin would have married her. Any explanation of the formation and growth of a relationship must start at some point prior to the time when the two individuals meet. Starting at a level of no contact and no awareness, there are various factors that two persons in a given populations will move at least to the stage of unilateral awareness. The crucial variables here are of two kinds. First, there is a variety of institutional structures and processes that determine the physical and temporal location of person. Social variables, such as social class, that affect residential, occupational, and leisure-time locations, along with the ecological process of differentiation and segregation that create distinctive location for types of persons and activities, influence the likelihood that persons will encounter each other.
These social and individual variables are implicated also in the development of social networks, another source of influence on the likelihood of contact between persons. When a person is linked to a particular network or web of acquaintances, one is more likely to know about and be introduced to others in that network. These variables and processes account in part for the general tendency toward homogamy in relationships because their effect generally is to increase the likelihood, frequency, and duration of contact between persons similar in social and, to some extent, personal characteristics. Structural and ecological influences are also related to attraction through their effects on propinquity. Mate selection deals with residential proximity of future spouses. Distance, as well as architectural features influence traffic patterns within and between buildings, affected acquaintanceship, and their can also be attraction among housemates. The beautiful Victorian house painted in whimsical colors, with its charming turrets, attic dormers creating cozy spaces on the third floor. The wide front porch, with pretty roses growing on a beautiful white trellis looked so stunning. And, beyond being a lovely place to linger, beautiful lush blooms in the rose garden create stunning scenery and waves of wonderful fragrance. Butterflies are numerous, birds and bees zip around the flowers. This happiness gets engrained in your mind forever. The blissful feeling of love can never be replicated because it is natural. There is a sense that your love will last forever, and you plan all of your hopes and dreams with your relationship. The beautiful memories of this once in a lifetime experience will linger in your heart and mind forever. Proximity is related in a variety of ways to attraction. Physical intimacy, like simply holding hands makes for a sweet, romantic moment. Love is pure attraction, led by mind and heart. In addition to the indirect effect of propinquity on attraction through similarity, physical closeness facilitates a number of processes that contribute to attraction. When interacting with those nearby, persons are likely to hit upon outcomes sufficiently satisfactory to discourage interaction with those at greater distance. The interactions with those physically close is much more apt to produce initially favorable outcomes for a number of reason. First, the physical and psychological costs are likely to be less in interaction. Whereas the low physical cost is obvious. Psychologically, normative expectations are such as to make interaction between persons spatially contiguous psychologically less costly than with those only slightly more distant. Also, if you are going out of your way to make contact with someone who you are attracted with, they will notice and wonder why you are contacting them when there is obviously someone closer you could have contacted instead. As you gradually learn to be more fully conscious in many aspects of your life—your breathing, your thoughts, your body—you will become increasingly good at noticing what is going on when you are engaged in interactions with others.
You will be able to observe yourself, noticing what kind of messages your mind may be giving you, or noticing how the other person responds to what you are doing or saying. By increasing your overall level of awareness through mindfulness practice, you will begin to feel much more capable of thinking and acting in new ways in difficult areas of your life, especially in your intimate relationships. Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially, possibly as friends or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a prospective partner in a more committed intimate relationship or marriage. Romantic relationships are important for our happiness and well-being. When building a relationship, it is important to be honest and take things slow. Tell a person you want to get to know them and wonder if they would like to join you for brunch. This way, one is establishing a foundation of appreciation and respect. Occasionally set aside time to check in with each other on changing expectations and goals. Makes sure that a person is interested in being more than friends with you before you make an intimate gesture. The goal in any relationship is to feel safe, supported, and respected. The degree that proximity encourages frequent observation and interaction, persons are able to predict each other’s behavior and avoid the cost of uncertainty and response conflict, reactions which are apt to occur in unfamiliar situations. And, frequent interactions not only increase the chances of discovering similarities as well as other rewarding characteristics of another person, but allows for the operation of social influences processes that may produce similarity. In addition, a variety of processes emerge in early interaction, that provides a certain momentum favoring a relationship already initiated over later alternatives. However, do not assume you are irresistible. You may not be someone’s type, they may already be in a relationship, or you may have to be charming and charismatic to get their affection. Nevertheless, our highest priorities in life are to love God and to love our family, community, nation and World. May our hearts be filled with sweet forgiving; may we learn tolerance and love and respect.
Sorry does Not Restore my Hindsight
At the beginning was the word, one who wants to make progress, even if by the smallest steps, must first liberate one’s self from the word, from the superstition of names, and from the tyranny of language. In addition, one of the important things learned in the acquisition of institutional roles is how to maintain self-esteem even under adverse organizational circumstances. Proper attitude in this crisis dominated World is a priceless possession. Never before has it been more important for all of us to move forward with pride. We may be behind, but we are not losing if we are moving in the right direction. God will not score our performances until the end of the journey. He who has made us expects us to be victorious. God stands by anxious to answer or calls for help and for us to praise and thank him. We must lead with good cheer, optimism, and courage if we are manifest the Kingdom of God. We should thank the Lord, our God, in all things with thankfulness and shall be made glorious. Thank God in all personal challenges. With God’s help, we can accomplish all things and be winners indeed in the processes of eternity. #RandolphHarris 1 of 8
No one really knows a language, not even one’s native language; indeed, there is no such thing as a language. In science, it is clear that only the knowledge of the history of an idea can impart a clear conception of the true nature of that ides. Since every word has its own history, for a thorough knowledge of a language one would need to be familiar with its whole history. This is completely unknown to most people. Even the philologist’s knowledge about it is quite superficial. It is a colossal delusion to believe that language is a property of humankind and that it is something inherently rich. If language were such a thing—sort of like a tool—then with use it would deteriorate and wear out. However, language is not an object, not a property, not a tool—but a usage. Language is simply language-use. This is not a play on words, but a fact. Angelical was supposed to have been the language God used to create the World, and then used by Adam to speak with God and Angels and to name all things in existence. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8
Language is a truly remarkable phenomenon—arbitrary and yet systematic, obviously learned but apparently on the basis of specific innate capacities, understood by small children, but infinite in its possible variations. After his fall from Paradise, Adam lost the language of Angelical, and constructed a form of proto-Hebrew based upon his vague memory of Angelical. This explains why the more language is used, the richer and stronger it grows. If we want to start seeing the power of God manifest in our lives, we will have to start paying attention to what we say. Words have power—more than any of us may realize, but we often speak of them as though they were meaningless. Because of that, mist believers at one time or another have been hurt by something a careless whisper. Every time an individual says something that they do not really means, it begins to numb the heart. Therefore, keep it down, voices carry. Human beings attain social goals through talk. That this gets done (with errors and violations of a magnitude sufficient ordinarily only to reveal the underlying patterns) is itself remarkable. What is even more remarkable is the substantial similarity in how it gets done in what at first appear to be very different cultures and very different modes of talk. #RandolphHarris 3 of 8
Language is so complex that children could not learn them if there were not genetically fitted to do so. Infants have some sort of innate capacity (sometimes called the LAD or Language Acquisition Device) which permits them to construct theories of their language on the basis of the speech data in the World around them. Children’s speech capabilities are both well developed and individually differentiated at fairly young ages (five years is frequently seen as a threshold); some investigators have therefore concluded that the LAD begins to atrophy at the point at which the fundamentals of language are mastered. Other investigators assert that language learning is a life-long process, and that adaption and modification of language is continuous. Children’s rapid acquisition of a wide range of grammatical (phonological, syntactic) skills is well documented. The parallel development of skills children acquire which allow them to use their developing linguistic skills effectively in social interaction, develop best in a World that is rich with sounds, sights, and consistent exposure to the speech and language of others. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8
Face, in a certain context, is a public self-image that every member wants to claim for one’s self. Philosophers have always been interested in meaning, and have contributed to much of the conceptual apparatus used in its discussion (sense, reference, connotation, denotation, intention, intension, and so forth). Problems of meaning are not simple, and for many years linguists seemed willing to let philosopher struggles with them. Investigators who have studied conversational exchanges in English have identified and described such features of conversation, as for example, sequencing (including placement of laughter), interruptions, self- (and other) corrections, and so forth, in order to explicate such conversational accomplishments as, for example, gaining and holding the floor, telling acceptable stories, extending invitations, making social categorization, and so on. The analysis is understanding of how conversations are successfully begun, carried on, and ended in rule-governed social interaction. Language is also used as a method of social control in talk than to more visible instances of manipulative acts involving named instrumentalities. #RandolphHarris 5 of 8
There are many ways of saying the same thing, depending on the age and culture of the person and also the location where what they are trying to explained happened. Some people do not always know how to accurately transform their thoughts into action, and such a mistake could get a person in a lot of trouble. Also, social control attempts are things we should pay more attention to. Some people try to manipulate the sound of words to convey a point on the sly, while others will make a statement so you can gather a social que and act in the manner they are suggesting. And Body language can be used to make statements as well. I do not think anyone would wish to deny the obvious—that we keep on learning more of our language in some sense as we get older. Language develops cognitive skills, fosters connections to international markets, preserves ancient traditions and histories, and cultivates a crucial understanding and appreciation of the World. When we can understand that culture in its language, and get a comprehensive view, we are immediately receptive to areas where conflict can be averted. #RandolphHarris 6 of 8
It is important to train global citizens and global leaders to have a transcultural literacy at a deep level. For some cultures, “Cooking fish,” does not mean preparing fish that you bought from the market for a meal to consume. Language is employed as a resource in social control and on the macrolevel those who control symbol control societies through their use in cultural reproduction and therefore in continuing class dominance. The greater an individual’s context independence in speech, through greater facility in these elaborated codes, the greater an individual’s ability to disengage from the immediate and the concrete (that is, to attain cognitive detachment), and thus the greater one’s autonomy and control over access to the environment is. Controllers are also used in different mixes of control modes and discretion in accomplishing different functions. For example, if you pick a friend up and she or he lives far away and they ask can they stay the night, but you do not want them to, you might say, “When do you think you will be ready to leave?” or “You will have to walk home if you stay.” Many people speak English, but different subcultures use certain words in a context, which might make you think you need to consult an ancient scribe. #RandolphHarris 7 of 8
Biblical thought and indeed the intellectual cultural traditions of most societies are communicated especially through languages. The choice and orchestration of the words provide a clue to what the meaning of the World is about. What is so perilous, then, in the fact that people speak and that their speech proliferates? Where is the danger in that? Philosophers, linguists, psychologist, and social psychologists as well, are deeply involved in questions of meaning and intent. Reading ancient text may not solve all of our problems, but it will give us a sense of whom we are talking to, of what fundamental social, cultural, and ecological realities we are facing, which we ignore at our peril. Latin, at the height of the Empire, was a sick language before it become a dead language. The cultural languages of our age are similarly sick, rotten to the core. We need to keep language strong and healthy. The languages of sophistication have all developed through metaphorization and we need to prevent them from all becoming childish as the meanings of the metaphors are forgotten. Sorry does not restore my hindsight. Now may the Lord, peace himself, give you his peace at all times and in every situation. #RandolphHarris 8 of 8
California’s Circle of Fear
The purpose of a career is so that leaders can shape a better World by strategically exploring, planning, and creating future paths, where their actions and choices also facilitate continuous learning and growth in the work force. The structural imperative of the job, requires values that give a wide range of psychological variables, especially intellectual flexibility. Empirical evidence is substantive that complexity of work beneficially affects the socialization and self-creation of the individual. More specifically, as jobs increase in status and prestige, they also increase the degree of autonomy, creativity, and discretion allowed in the worker. The career also tends to be more satisfying and rewarding. People in work situations that provide little opportunity for upward mobility tend to limit their aspirations, seek satisfaction in activities outside of work or alienation from work. These displaced workers will create strong peer associations in which interpersonal relations take precedence over other aspects of the job, and develop loyalties to the local unit rather than to the larger organization. The second dimension, being low in organizational power, also has negative psychological and behavioral consequences for the individual. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7
Individuals who are stifled at work become pettier, bossier, and more authoritarian; use subordinates for their frame of reference; and rely more on coercive than persuasive techniques of control. And the third dimension is when people are underrepresented in their career field, they find it harder to be taken seriously; are more isolated and excluded from informal peer networks, and may be oppressed. All of these dimensions represent behavioral consequences of disadvantaged position is the work force. Breaking these cycles of development is difficult because the tendency is for the individual’s competence, confidence, and power progressively to increase (or decrease); and the perceptions and expectations that others have of the individual become solidified. This model can produce a set of structural conditions that contribute to the development of self-actualizing or self-defeating people. Self-actualized people are motivated to try out new experiences. They will feel secure enough about one’s own personality—strengths, weaknesses, and uniqueness—to expand one’s horizon. In contrast, people who are self-defeating let external influences serve to frustrate, thwart, or destroy one’s own intention of interests by internalizing and letting negative forces dictate their abilities. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7
The structure of opportunity brings in the workers assessment of the future, via prospects for upward mobility, as a factor in present adjustments. People relate to the present in part in terms of their expectations and prospects for the future to be stuck is a very different work experience than being up and coming. There is ample evidence on work in American society to suggest substantial dissatisfaction and alienation of workers from their jobs. In a recent department of Health, Education, and Welfare report, only 43 percent of workers who perform professional jobs (doctors, lawyers, teachers) and just 24 percent of labor workers (construction workers, retail, manufacturers) reported that they were satisfied with their jobs. The socialization consequences of work settings can reflect either processes of relatively passive compliance and adaptation to external exigencies or process of self-determination and expansion. Therefore, a critical element of career philosophy is to support internal mobility. Internal mobility is the extent to which employees move into new careers within an organization, based on their performance. It is a measure of how well some corporations encourage employees to develop and stretch themselves so that they can advance and live a productive life. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7
Employees who are successful keep their skills and knowledge fresh and current. They show up to work on time, are professional, have good hygiene, maintain a reputation for being optimistic and adaptable. Highly competent employees develop and sustain meaningful professional relationships, and they stay informed about current trends influencing the corporation, economy, and their specific career field. Re-socialization can take place in various institutional settings established for this purpose, such as in peer groups, church, and compensatory education programs. The specific objectives of these contexts vary from political socialization (or brainwashing) to religious conversion to various types of reeducation such as workshops and meetings. Delinquency is seen primarily as a group phenomenon and the task of rehabilitation is one of changing the shared delinquent characteristics. Participation in some of these contexts is voluntary, and in others involuntary. Most of these contexts can be characterized as involving intense small-group interaction where the socialization ratio is large, and where the interaction environment is totalistic or closed. Under these circumstances, one’s sense of reality is most effectively restructured. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7
The Democratic Communist program used brainwashing as a source of reeducation. Along with the physical coercion, the lack of sleep, and various forms of psychological stress, physical and financial assault to weaken their target’s hold on past beliefs and identities. It was a process of identity casting used in the situation. From the beginning, it was made clear that the target’s life and rights did not matter, and that they must perish, and in one’s place must arise a new person, resurrected in the Communist mold. Often times that meant an individual was killed and their identity was given to a different person. The original person’s major status identifications, such as doctor, priest, teacher, as well as the individual’s name, were undermined and replaced by the identity of criminal. Perhaps the most significant assaults upon the now prisoner’s identity occurred during the process of confession. Confession, which was the major technique employed by the captors to involve the prisoner in the process of one’s own reform, required thorough and compelling self-examination of every action, attitude, and thought, and always from the people’s perspective. A series of denunciations of friends and associates was required as an essential part of the confession. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7
Making these denunciations not only generated feelings of guilt and shame in the prisoner, but it subverted the structure of one’s own life. Even when the prisoner was aware that one’s confession was wild and one’s denunciations invalid, one usually began to behave as if one were a criminal. If the prisoner would not, then the opposition forces would have someone impersonate the individual to act out the behavior the oppressors wanted to convince the public that the prisoner’s refashioned identity was emerging. This may be considered the rebirth. In this case, the boy’s initial situation was purposely amorphous: The prisoner is left on one’s own to figure out why authorities are doing what they are doing and what they must do to get out of trouble. The new conscript soon discovered that the only avenue for release was through participation in the delinquent peer group, which was the primary source of pressure for change. The main interactions took place in daily group discussion session. In these group sessions, the essential ingredients of identity assault included confession of past transgressions through a minute re-examination of the past, including one’s former identities, with the assistant of a reform vocabulary and the constant pressure of the peer group. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7
Usually these targets are easy to break because they are alienated from their past identity, unhappy with themselves or their lives, lack a strong sense of self and identity, and carry a burden of guilt. The main task for the group is to channel this discontent into the creation of the new self. Initially, the major technique used to make the prisoner receptive to change was fear. It was simply fear of physical punishment and harassment. However, as the effects of confession, self-betrayal, and group attack began to take hold, it became a fear of psychological annihilation (hitting rock bottom psychologically). There is also another strategy, which was to use love to manipulate the prisoner. Love is used as the most coercive and cruel power of all. Either love or fear was used to strengthen the group’s hold over the individual and make the individual more vulnerable to radical re-socialization. However, when a target is resistant, the program may fail. Although the individual may be physically weaker, psychologically they are stronger. And as the participants in the program group, the corruption becomes exposed because people hear about the torture and they start to see. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7
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Them Mens Hitted theyselves Cruel
Success happens when we are truly ready, not just when we want it. Be patient. Set yourself up for success. And, always believe that you day is on the way! The individual can be both cause and the consequence of society. The family is typically seen as the source of the child’s inadequacies, which the school must correct and overcome. The process of social comparisons is ubiquitous in the classroom. The age homogeneity and lack of formal status differentiation in the class cohort make it a fertile ground for the operation of social comparison process as a means of social differentiation. This differentiation occurs largely on the basis of perceived ability and achievement, and each student knows where he or she stands with respect to his or her classmates. The class, therefore, serves as a reference group for the student, not necessarily in the normative sense (although it may indeed be a source of norms and values) as much as in the comparative sense (that is, as a standard of evaluation). The family, by contrast, is primarily a normative reference group. There may even be a boomerang effect, under these circumstances, in that the socialize may develop in ways opposite to those intended by the agents of socialization within these contexts. #RandolphHarris 1 of 12
Parents are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. The conscience obligates people to their offspring, compelling them to be good citizens and to think of their children as investments so they can be the cause of a successful society, not the consequence of a World gone wrong. The role of a parent is much more than the social construction of reality or the product of the state. Parenthood is of a divine origin, and it to include goodness and perfect love so that your children turn out to be God’s work and glory. God is extremely concerned with the work and development of his eternal children. One of the inborn structures of the mind or personality is the id. The id is an unorganized chaotic mentality, and the sole aim of which is the gratification of all needs, the alleviation of hunger, self-preservation, and love, the preservation of the species. As people develop, it is important to teach them to gain control over their emotions, attention, and behavior in early years, as they are coming in contact with the environment. #RandolphHarris 2 of 12
One needs to be conscious or aware of the mental processes which occupy one at any given time. The ego is a processing awareness of the environment, henceforth strives to curb the lawless id tendencies whenever they attempt to assert themselves incompatibly. Neurosis is a conflict between the ego and the id. The ego, aware of the forces of civilization, religion, and ethics, refuses to allow motor discharge to impulses emanating from the lawless id, and will block them from attainment of the object towards which they aimed. The ego defends itself against these impulses by repressing them. In the real World, we see adults who are driven by the id. They are emotional savages, unable to control their urges and act out. Imagine if the World was ran by people like that. People who did not speak, but acted out of emotional urges and them pretended they did not know what they did wrong. The World would be in a stage of chaos. Sometimes the id can break through as a substitutive formation on paths over which the ego has no control, and obtrudes itself on the ego as symptoms. As a result of this process, the ego will find itself more or less impoverished, its integrity threatened and hurt, and hence it continues to combat the symptom in the same way as it had defended itself against the original id impulses. #RandolphHarris 3 of 12
This whole process constitutes the picture of the neuroses, or rather of the transference neurosis, which compromise hysteria, anxiety hysteria, and the compulsion neuroses, in constriction to the so-called narcissistic neuroses, melancholic depression, and to the psychoses, schizophrenia, paranoid conditions and paranoia proper, in which the underlying mechanisms are somewhat different. In a psychosis, the illness results from a conflict between the ego and the outer World, and the narcissistic neurosis from a conflict between the ego and the super-ego. For just as the ego is a modified portion of the id as a result of contact with the outer World, the super-ego represents a modified part of the ego, formed through experiences absorbed from the parents, especially from the father. Fatherhood exposes us to our own weaknesses and our need to improve. Fatherhood requires sacrifice, but is a source of incomparable satisfaction, even joy. The ultimate model is our Heavenly Father, who so loves us. Fathers manifest that love as they labor in the service and support of their families daily. If by his example as well as his words, a father can demonstrate what fidelity to God looks like in daily living, that father will have given his children the key to peace in this life and eternal life in the World to come. #RandolphHarris 4 of 12
The super-ego is a modified part of ego, formed through experiences absorbed from the parents, especially from the father. The super-ego is the highest mental evolution attainable by humans, and consists of a precipitate of all prohibitions and inhibitions, all the rules of conduct which are impressed on the child by his or her parents and by parental substitutes. The feeling of conscience depends altogether on the development of the super-ego. Therefore, mechanisms of the neurosis are attributed to the unconscious factor of the mind. Psychoanalysis calls it the psychology of depths because it is the role of the unconscious mental process. Neuroses are characterized by anxiety, depression, or other feelings of unhappiness or distress that are out of proportion to the circumstances of a person’s life. They may impair a person’s functioning in virtually any area of his or her life, relationships, or external affairs, but they are not severe enough to incapacitate the person. Affected patients generally do not suffer from the loss of the sense of reality seen in persons with psychoses. The psychoanalytic approach to treat neuroses involves helping the patient to become aware of the repressed impulses, feelings, and traumatic memories that underlie his or her symptoms, thereby enabling that individual to achieve personality growth through a better and deeper self-understanding. Also, people are so over zealous to label others that they do not seem to understand the difference between being a little sad and being depress. So, sometimes people report that they are depressed, when they are actually just sad. #RandolphHarris 5 of 12
Despite their growing abilities, some children and adults sometimes find it difficult to regulate their thoughts and emotions in ways that allow them to succeed at new tasks. Many psychiatrists prefer physical approaches, such as psychotropic drugs to treat neuroses (including antianxiety agents and antidepressant and antipsychotic drugs). This will allow the patient to face and overcome new developmental challenges, from getting along with others to learning novel academic skills. In addition, at these times, close relationships with meaningful authority figures, including teachers, managers, parents, law enforcement, the President, veterans, people who serve the country, doctors, a leader of the church, or a lawyer can help children and adults learn to regulate their own behavior. Contextual dissonance could be a source of the distress. That refers to the situation of being a member of an underrepresented group in a classroom (or other contexts, for that matter) in the basis of a trait or characteristic that is disvalued by the majority group, and it impacts the individual’s self-esteem. There could be a social identity context such as race and social class, competence context, and value context, and being an underrepresented subgroup on any of these dimensions can have a negative effect on the student’s self-esteem. #RandolphHarris 6 of 12
That is why I do not see having pride in one’s heritage as a bad thing. When people feel a sense of pride about who they are, they are more willing to deal with being an underrepresented group peacefully and they are able to communicate their needs and concerns to an authority member in a healthy way. When someone upsets them, they know it is better to walk away than acting out or seeking revenge. Mental health is more than just labeling someone. To assess someone’s mental health, you really have to get to know that individual and understand their psychology. The negative consequences of an underrepresented status within the immediate interaction context, in relation to social comparison process, operates more forcefully at the face-to-face level rather than when society is the frame of reference. That is why there can be negative consequences of school integration for self-esteem for certain individuals, and negative psychological consequences of being in the underrepresented status on the job. That is why the classroom organization is important for learning of general social norms. We should be patent, but approach our goals with a sense of urgency. We cannot stroll to our goal. Build momentum by taking consistent and daily actions towards what you want. #RandolphHarris 7 of 12
School is important as a transitional institution between the family and job. Conduct in the family and conduct on the job are governed by contrasting normative principles. School provides the bridge between these two institutions by exposing the child to a set of experiences that facilitate learning and internalizing the norms of independence, achievement, universalism, and specificity. The goal of school, in producing competent citizens is carried out not only through the formal program of instruction aimed at developing cognitive skills, but also through the less conspicuous development of other general norms. Because the interaction between teacher and pupil is much more role specific, and more temporary, the distinction between the person and the position becomes much clearer in the school than it is in the family. The child comes to see that teachers, unlike mothers, are interchangeable. Also, they are paid to be fair and look out for your best interest, but it is important to understand that this is a formal relationship, and to see it as that. Independence and achievement are norms that are more relevant to the conduct of pupils, and because they are the basis for evaluating pupils, they have greater psychological consequence for the child. #RandolphHarris 8 of 12
Independence refers to doing thing on one’s own, and connotes such others attributes as accepting responsibility for one’s acts and being self-motivated. We are accountable and will be judged for how we use what we have received. This eternal principle applies to all we have been given. Cheating and formal testing are two aspects of classroom operations that bear directly on the norm of independence. Achievement is perhaps the strongest norm of all. The concept denotes activity and mastery, the striving against some standard of excellence. It is closely tied to the main mission of the school—to teach students to evaluate the extent of their learning. Being constantly evaluated in the classroom, and the evaluations are public means that the implications of this situation go beyond the mere learning of social norms, they go to the heart of the child’s conception of self. Success, based on one’s own efforts, is good for self-esteem and builds confidence in one’s abilities. Failure is not, and public failure is worse. It also has fewer resources than does the family for protecting the child’s self-respect in the face of failure. However, even for those who are more successful on academic criteria, school can be hard on self-esteem. They must constantly work to maintain their status, and few go through this socialization experience without experiencing some failure. #RandolphHarris 9 of 12
Nonetheless, by attempting to avoid feelings, these students, by their actions, increase the probability of actual failure. This is one of the serious, unintended, and undesirable consequences of classroom socialization. Sometimes pressures are generated that lead to patterns of adaptation that are considered undesirable. The educational system perpetuates the economic order and contributes to the integration of youth into the labor force, mainly through a structural correspondence between its social relations and those of production. The relationship of the educational system is supposed to replicate the hierarchical division of labor which dominates the workplace. And some people do not do well in school because it may be a harsh and alien place that devalues much of what they have learned in their family context. For these children, school may be more difficult because it is also a re-socialization situation and the values that they are learning to conform to, as well as the education they are receiving may scare their family, who may be in the poverty segment of society. The relationships between children and teachers are powerful mechanisms for change. When student feel that a teacher believes in them and supports their growth, they feel more confident both academically and socially at school. #RandolphHarris 10 of 12
When children feel more secure at school, they are more prepared to learn. What is fairly distinct about socialization in childhood peer groups is the effect it has on the child’s development and validation of the self; the development of competence in the presentation of self through role-taking and impression management skills; and the acquisition of knowledge left residual or avoided by adults in their socialization of children. The key to the importance of the peer group in the socialization of these domains is the friendship bond. Friendships are based on egalitarian relationships of mutual support and acceptance, where a wider latitude of behavior is allowed than in most other relationships, and where there is no explicit responsibility on the part of friends to change or shape each other’s development (in contrast to parent/child relationships). Since a great deal is tolerated in friendships, the individual is freer to explore and express a wide range of behavior and self-conceptions without fear of condemnation. Friendship relationships are especially appropriate for the mastering of self-presentations and impression-management skills, since inadequate displays will usually be ignored or corrected without severe loss of face. #RandolphHarris 11 of 12
Create a great reputation. A solid reputation is like a fine art, easy to ruin and hard to create. Typically, success in athletics and academics is very important for boys and girls, but girls are also more concerned about being popular with peers. Hence, status in the peer group and classroom functions to provide an alternate source of self-esteem and perhaps to repair self-esteem damaged by other factors. For many if not most of those arriving at school for the first time, the community is the most varied institution in which they have ever experienced—perhaps ever will experience. To become leaders in our diverse society, students today must have the ability to work with people from different backgrounds, life experiences, and perspectives. Dear Lord, we pray to you for the well-being of our families. Creator grant us the strength of heart, mind, and body so that we may be to stand forthcoming trials and tribulations we have to face. Almighty Father, make us so strong as to be able to face the touch obstacles of life, profession, and education so we have exposure to peers with a deep and wide variety of academia interests, viewpoints, and talents in order to better challenge our own assumptions ad develop skills we need to succeed, and to lead, in an ever more diverse workforce and increasingly interconnected World. And it really helps when you have no one to talk to about abuse or bullying when a person in a position of authority lets you know they know. It gives a person hope that someone will save them and to just hold on. That reduces the likelihood of an individual hurting one’s self to escape the torment. #RandolphHarris 12 of 12
The Glory of God is Intelligence
Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this Earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. We are of infinite worth to our Heavenly Father. The school, like the family, is an institution whose explicit mandate is to socialize people. In each case, this mandate is directed toward children. The school’s mission, however, is defined more narrowly than that of the family. It is primarily concerned with the formal instruction of children and the development of their cognitive skills (but here again, more is learned by the child than that which is explicitly taught). That is why if I could afford to, I would send my children to private school so they can learn about God as part of their enrichment material, and also so they would not pick up the habit of swearing from their friends, and also because they would have to wear a uniform, which is more likely to get them ready to conform to the career World. Next to the family, the school is the institution in which the child is most directly involved. And like the family, this involvement is largely involuntary. However, in most other respects, family and classroom constitute quite different socialization experiences for the child. #RandolphHarris 1 of 12
School is important in life because people need to gain knowledge and intelligence through their diligence and obedience so that they can have an advantage in the World to come. The classroom is composed of one adult and around twenty-five bright young children of both genders and approximately the same age, drawn from a relatively small geographical area. The major status distinction, which is important so students can learn to respect authority figures besides their parents, is between the teacher and pupils. There is a law, irrevocably decreed in Heaven before the foundations of this World, upon which all blessings are predicated—and when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated. The relationship between teacher and student is more of a limited scope (that is, more role-specific), and of shorter duration than is that between parent and child. The procedure of annual promotion from grade to grade provides the child with the experience of establishing and severing relationship with adults at regular periods. This being the case, we all should place the pursuit of light and truth, and intelligence, uppermost in our selections of goals, since we may have them eternally. #RandolphHarris 2 of 12
The glory of God is intelligence. School is the first socializing agency in the child’s experience that institutionalizes a differentiation of statues based on achievement. However, many parents can tell that their babies are intelligent and understand because, for example, when Leo (age 1) is asked to dance, but the music he likes is not on, he will not. However, when classical music is playing and he is asked to dance, he starts smiling and moving his hands and arms and head and legs, and even motions like he is conducting the composition. Other children Leo’s age when playing with a horse make the sound a horse makes when walking. Or watch their parents cook and when playing, get a pot and pretend to cook and taste the food and share it with their family. The homogeneous age composition of the class is an especially consequential feature of classroom structure. It provides the child with a standard of comparison for evaluating his or her competencies. It also provides the teacher with a standard for evaluating each student. Formal and public evaluation of performance is one of the hallmarks of the school experience, and, as we shall see, it has substantial consequences for the child’s self-esteem. #RandolphHarris 3 of 12
As you can see, it is important for children to be around their peer group, as they are all developing at the same relative level and can teach each other things. Ostensibly, school is primarily concerned with the cognitive development of the child—the acquisition of knowledge, the development of analytical and verbal skills, and other competencies. However, in the course of this socialization experience, other things are also learned, such as general norms and beliefs, and other aspects of the child are affected (personality characteristics, self-esteem). It is also important to understand, and this may or may not be fair, but grades are about social reinforcement, expectancy effects, and social comparison processes. The most conspicuous socialization process in the classroom (as perhaps, in the family) is social reinforcement. Teachers rely on several reinforcers in attempting to shape the student’s behavior and development—praise, blame, privileges, and, most important, grades. Grades represent the most concrete evidence of official (teacher’s) approval or disapproval of the student’s performance. #RandolphHarris 4 of 12
However, grade may also be used to reinforcement more than just the development of cognitive competencies. Teachers are likely to reward those students who conform to the social order of the school with higher grades and punish violators with lower grades, independent of their respective academic and cognitive accomplishments. An ABC10 Journalist, Gabrielle Karol reported on Beyer High School (Modesto, California USA), where sophomore Cedric Wright got in trouble for slapping his best friend. Cedric Wright was supposedly defending another student his best friend punched in the arm. The kids were all supposedly playing around like people do in the locker room. However, both Cedric and his friend were sent to the principal’s office. Cedric got a two day in-school suspension, where he sat in an intervention center, and was not allowed to go to class. Cedric Wright’s parents got upset and filed a complaint because the best friend did not get an equal punishment for a similar offense. Mr. James Wright thought his son had a bias applied against him because he is African American. After the complaint was filed by Cedric’s parents, it was then that Cedric’s best friend was punished. #RandolphHarris 5 of 12
Ignorance is expensive; in fact, it is the most expensive commodity we know anything about. Certainly, we make many mistakes through ignorance. After an investigation, the school claims there was a miscommunication, and that is why Cedric Wright was the only student punished initially. In this case, conformity to the social order meant that certain personality characteristics were rewarded (for example, dependability, consistency, perseverance, identification with school, punctuality, and tact), while others are punished or disapproved (for example, creativity, aggression, and independence). Sometimes people feel that certain families or students are out of control because they are successfully, well integrated and solid middle class, which is against an outdated negative stereotype that a small segment of the population would like to adhere to. There seems to be a significant positive relationship between the grade-point average of high school students and the first set of personality characteristics listed and second set of characteristics. Similar evidence reflects that grades are more than scholastic achievement of students. #RandolphHarris 6 of 12
Where there is no law, there is no transgression. In a study of 639 National Merit Scholars, it was found that differences in scholastic achievement were not related to grades. However, two personality variables were significantly and positively related to grades: citizenship and drive to achieve. However, it was found that neither of these two variables had a significant effect on actual achievement measures, and both were negatively related to measures of creativity and mental flexibility. There is evidence that teachers directly reinforce certain personality characteristics and discourage others through the use of grades and other reinforcers. Less obvious than social reinforcement, but perhaps no less pervasive, are expectancy effects and social comparison process. Expectancy effects, better known as self-fulfilling prophecies, are part of the broader process of defining situations and thereby constructing realities. The concept refers to the capacity of beliefs or expectancies to alter a state of affairs so that it comes to be congruent with the original belief. If people define situations as real, they are real in their consequences. #RandolphHarris 7 of 12
The self-fulfilling prophecy is, in the beginning, a false definition of the situation evoking a new behavior which makes the originally false conception come true. This specious validity to the self-fulfilling prophecy perpetuates a region of error. For the prophet will cite the actual course of events as proof that he or she was right from the very beginning. Self-fulfilling prophecies are usually always negative, as attested by the literature on race relations, deviance, and stereotyping. However, research of self-fulfilling prophecies in the classroom demonstrates that greater intellectual growth can be produced if the teacher expected that than if he or she did not. The findings were equivocal, as teacher’s expectations had a significant effect on pupils’ IQ gains for first and second-graders. The fear that many people have, however, concerning the self-fulfilling prophecy in the classroom is not with regard to the effect of the teacher’s high expectations, but rather his or her low expectations of certain students. Especially in schools where the student body is racially or socioeconomically mixed, parents and policy makers fear that the teacher would have lower expectations for the underrepresented or lower-income students, and that these expectations will be communicated in differential treatment. #RandolphHarris 8 of 12
A careful study gives credence to some of these fears. A class of Black children was followed from kindergarten through second grade. There were numerous and subtle ways in which the teacher transmitted her expectations of their competencies or incompetencies to these children in a process that became self-fulfilling. According to Gabrielle Karol, a journalist from ABC10, data from California state assessments from 11th grade students found that 64 percent of African American students did not meet state standards in English, compared to 33 percent European American students. In math, 93 percent of African American students failed to meet standards, compared to 64 percent of European American students. While subconscious stereotypes can lead to biases in judgment that people are not aware of, we need to help educate teachers and others in positions of power to erode these outdated standards of prophecy. At the same time, we need to encourage parents to be more active in their students’ education and ask them to investigate why their students are underperforming. If parents get involved, they can act as agents to educate teachers and let them know that they will not stand for unfair treatment, or help to correct the educational problems their kids are manifesting. #RandolphHarris 9 of 12
We need to help prepare leaders in education and to generate knowledge to improve student opportunity, achievement, and success. Sometimes people will try to demonize your children and ruin their lives because their own children are deviant and your kids make them look bad. Even though we may not think we are guilty of our sin because of our ignorance, neither can we receive the blessing, which is predicated on obedience, without rendering obedience to that law. Therefore, we are denied the blessing through our ignorance. If it is a traffic law one has violated through ignorance, the penalty is assessed exactly as one had known. Ignorance of the law is not an excuse. The goal of school is to have an exceptional and collaborative community of faculty, students, and alumni dedicated to improving lives and expanding opportunities through the comprehensive study and effective practice of education. We want our kids to grow to become innovative leaders in the community, entrepreneurs, and explorers of the World. It is also important the teachers understand that we expect a diverse, moral development of our children, an international education policy, and organizational leadership. #RandolphHarris 10 of 12
We want our children to be taught by renowned experts, who are passionate about education and preparing students to become transformative leaders. With that being said, it is important to be honest and let parents know when their children could do better and how, or to directly communicate that to the student. Never miss an opportunity to remind children the pivotal importance of a strong education. College is the key to success and a better life. Higher education encompasses more kinds of experiences, and more kinds of different experiences, than there are people in your classroom, and there is a place for every one of you. Commit to the goal of a higher education, and share your plans with others. Write it down, tell your parents, teachers, coaches, friends and extended family. Share your educational dreams with anyone who will be supportive. College education leads to higher incomes, lower unemployment rates, better access to health care, and it will give you the freedom to understand yourself differently. With education you will have a vaster range of life experiences. #RandolphHarris 11 of 12
It is impossible for anyone to be saved in ignorance. No person is truly enlightened unless he or she knows God. Education will help you learn to have meaningful conversations with people and give you a wide range of viewpoints. Education teaches people to even reconsider their own view point. By attending college, you will encourage dreams that you have never dreamed. Every person has extraordinary gifts, and education will help you build your future. Dear Lord, as we continue in life, help us never to forget to devote our time of praise and worship to you. We know, God, that you are the one who sustains us and we are so grateful that you blessed us with this amazing life on this beautiful planet. God, we know that you are renewing our minds. We pray that all of our instructors, professors, and administrators will also experience the love of God. We will grow and learn, and as we strive, we will become more like our teachers. Please give them wisdom, strength and courage to be the best authority figures. Help them stay healthy as they do teach us. Lord, if they do not know you personally, we pray that they come to know you and in doing so that their instruction and working is glorifying to you. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 12 of 12
Genius is Simply a Poetic Name for Hard Work
Their secrete abominations have been brought out of the darkness, and made known to us. Living in the past is not terribly productive you will discover, it is too easy to become entangled in its haunting web. It can distort the present, sometimes out of all recognition, but fortunately, most of us can draw that fine line between what is, and what was. We can see things as they are, not as they used to be. Perhaps that is not always a good thing. Perhaps if we could just, if we could just occasionally drift back to time’s past, moments that are done. However, that is just wishful thinking, I am afraid. If you live in the past, you shall lose your joy, strength, praise, and leadership influence. To dwell in the past is dangerous because it will make you old before your time. It is extinguishing the hope for the future, and make you bitter, angry, and depressed. Some focus on the past because they feel alone, or abandoned. These might include those longing to be married, those who have lost a spouse, and those who have lost—or have never been blessed with—children. Our empathy embraces wives forsaken by their husbands, husbands whose wives have walked away, and children bereft of one or both of their parents. However, the very process of salvation consists in the interpenetration of the good into the midst of the evil. #RandolphHarris 1 of 8
People do not usually deliberately become narrow minded, selfish, and sinful. They become such because they do not deliberately devote themselves to some noble aim. The human mind is mainly drawn to the future, and not driven by the past. Human beings typically rely on their foresight, they are always looking for the next big trend, how to improve a product, which investment will eventually yield dividends, and so forth. Those who have been successful in business are people who have studied well the laws of business, and toiled with sleepless vigilance and unwearied zeal. The people who have attained great scholarship, or who have risen to the highest places in the realm of letters or in the profession, have been people with industry and an aim. Genius is simply a poetic name for hard work, and for the power of keeping at the appointed task until it has been complete. The history of all great and useful people illustrates that the onward look is essential to success. We sometimes have to forget the things we left behind and reach forth onto the things that are before us, pressing towards the blessings that have been promised to us by God. We have to have a vision and work hard towards this vision and know that the glory of fulfillment will come to us. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8
The spirit of looking forward to the future must be part of our vision in life. We are here to develop the spiritual life and build up the kingdom of God. If our spirits are true and hearts steadfast, we shall be richer and greater in the years to come. The best way to prove that we have been useful in the past is to illustrate that in the conduct of today and the purpose for tomorrow. Some people let a single deed of virtue last them a lifetime, but the measure of a person is not simply what one has done, but what one is doing and what one will do in the future. Let us keep looking towards a Heavenly life. If we keep in view the destiny of which the love of God has created for us, we shall find comfort and courage along our journey. Above the wrongs and injustice of the World, and the confusion is the triumph of God. Inside of you, there is a feeling that you are destine to do great things. Trust this instinct. We find instinct to be a great power. It teaches us how to provide for ourselves, how to love, and guides and directs us in our very lives. God has given us great capabilities and great wisdom. The inner sense of purpose is what matters right now in each individual’s life and career. #RandolphHarris 3 of 8
The future is important to focus on because when we think of technology and research and development, the objection is invention. To have a prosperous future, we have to put our health and well-being first. It is also important to take the best advice that exists and make the right choices. We can to create an environment where people feel comfortable around us and we feel comfortable with them so it is safe to make a living and have a life. And if we can impact the lives of the community in a beneficial way, it will also have an effect on the next generation. Do not tolerate things that are against your nature because you could lose yourself in the end. Betrayal and lying are that we cannot accept. Independence is also very important because if you are a servant to someone, what justice can you have? It is necessary to build clear and honest relationships with people. Every organization, be it a political party, state, or private structures needs to bringing in new talent, change and modernize to be able to advance differently and stay competitive. Also, people do not like being under pressure, it can sometimes have a reverse effect. On the other hand, our society cannot become perfect in one day. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8
While some people work every day, at whatever it is they are trying to do, it is certainly not for everyone. Some people are driven by demands and internal pressures to turn out a production every day, and their life is constantly spent thinking about what they will do next. It is an addiction for them, they have to constantly feed their business because it is like part of their soul and it gives them strength. Whenever what they are doing catches, they are a success, or they reach a level where they are comfortable, then it is possible to relax. However, for the average person, it is good to consciously try to have one day off, and it is not about being lazy and a lack of abilities. Sometimes when you give your mind time to rest you come up with new ideas, new innovations or new inventions. When I was in college, I used to study all the time and my friends encouraged me and reminded me of how President Donald Trump became very successful from working hard. Now, he is arguably the richest and most powerful man in the World. My goal is to get to a level where I can build my dream house and afford vacations and other luxuries. #RandolphHarris 5 of 8
Some people, when they are loaded with daily routine and papers all the time, lose the ability to look into the future, but that is what keeps me motivated. Because of my unique schedule, I need to create an opportunity for myself, to become highly desirable, so I can work around my responsibilities, or meet someone who will accommodate my schedule. I currently do not even sleep at night. The idea here is to help uplift people and help them identify their strengths and open possibilities from there. A lot of research is done, so there is a lot of education going on in the process that will hopefully have some benefits in the future. Sometimes I dream about being a motivational speaker in the days ahead and that is why it is important to study psychology, religion, and sociology. The goal is not to talk about my negative experiences as a tool of motivations, but show people, by example and through listening, how to help them advance toward future goals. The work we do helps enhance family and social connections because the people who have guided me can see and hear that I am listening to them and implementing their advice and following their examples, and that makes people feel a sense of pride and also makes people more willing to help you in whatever way they can. #RandolphHarris 6 of 8
It is kind of an interesting support system, and I have learned that is it best for me not to say anything negative, but to constantly absorb information and try to produce good content. It seems to keep myself and others uplifted. You will find that society is really like a chain, and once you start to become weak and tarnished, it does have an impact on others. With regard to degree of openness and flexibility because of differences in the nature of social networks within families or social institutions there have been consequences for types of linguistic codes that people use in socialization. There are different in the types of social institutions, cultural processes, and historical developments because of class-associated differences, ethnic, racial, and religious influences. One of the major problems in this area is to disentangle the effects of these various factors. There has been a progressive decrease in the recent decades in the amount of contact between American parents, children, and peer groups. Various social forces (such as urbanization, commuting, working parents, social media, and the professionalization of child care) have operated to decrease the amount of time families and peer group interaction takes place, and so there are other socializing agents. #RandolpHarris 7 of 8
Unfortunately, these new socializing agents have produced a vacuum that is increasingly filled by the child’s involvement with social media and television. Children and adult’s peer groups develop independently of (and often in opposition to) healthy standards and values. They become a frame of reference and a powerful socializing influence for individual. So, does the television and social media. The American child spends about as much time watching television as he or she spends in school, and more than in any other activity except sleep and play. The insidious influence of television and other forms of technology is not so much with regard to the behavior that it produces in a child (even though this might be bad enough), but rather the behavior it prevents, that is, the human interaction foregone in the course by using social media or being a passive viewer. However, divine compassion is never absent, God is always faithful, he never flees nor fails us. Let us be loved, happy, and peaceful. Let our friends be loved, happy, and peaceful. Let our perceived enemies be happy, loved, and peaceful. Let all beings be happy, loved, and peaceful. Let the whole World experience these things. President Lincoln says, “Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” Therefore walk uprightly before God; and observe to do good continually, and to keep his commandments. #RandolphHarris 8 of 8
Randolph Harris II International Institute 