It must have been midnight when I awoke. I do not recall the face of the clock; only the feeling of deep night, and that it was spring and that I wanted walk outside and talk to the Moon and Stars for a while. Were it possible for us to see further than our knowledge reaches, perhaps we would endure our sadness with greater confidence than our joys, for they are the moments when something new has entered us, something unknown.  People learn to listen to silence. We can hear the infinite number of sounds we never hear at all—the unending crystalline sounds of the cockatiels, a breeze blowing lightly through the golden hay, a thrush singing in the low bushes beyond the meadow. And we suddenly realize that this is something—the World of silence is populated by a myriad of creatures and a myriad of sounds. European existentialists, finally, succinctly characterize presence as dasein, which means, literally, to “be there.” Hell is other people. From the beginning humans have served the appetites of one another in the most varying ways, but these were always reducible to a single theme: the need for fuel for one’s own aggrandizement and immunity. Human use one another to assure their personal victory over death. The death fear of the ego is lessened by the killing, the sacrifice, of the other; through the death of the other, one buys oneself free from the penalty of dying, of being killed. No wonder people are addicted to war. #RandolphHarris 1 of 20

When it comes to enemies and strangers, the ego can consign them to the limbo of death without even a second thought. Because they deny that they want control over their environment, others beings, and also deny their wish for immortality, modern beings live in illusion; and it is precisely because of this illusion that humankind cannot get control over social evils like war. This is what makes war irrational: each person has the same hidden problem, and as antagonists obsessively work their cross purposes, the result is truly demonic; the film Queen of the Damned summed this up beautifully. Not only enemies but even friends and loved ones are fair fuel for our own perpetuation. In our unconscious we daily and hourly deport all who stand in our way, all who have offended or injured us, if pressured, would be unwilling to sacrifice someone else in our place. The exception to this is of course the hero. We admire him or her precisely because he or she is willing to give one’s life for others instead of taking theirs for his or hers. Heroism is an unusual reversal of routine values, and it is another thing that makes war so uplifting, as humankind has long known: war is a ritual for the emergence of heroes, and so for the transmutation of common, selfish values. In war beings live their own ennoblement. #RandolphHarris 2 of 20

 However, what we are reluctant to admit is that the admiration of the hero is a vicarious catharsis of our own fears, fears that are deeply hidden; and this is what plunges us into uncritical hero worship: what the hero does seem so superlative to us. Thus from another point of view we see that it is true that beings are enslaved by their own illusions based on their repressions. The logic of scapegoating, then, is based on terrestrial narcissism and hidden fear. If luck is when the arrow hits the fellow next to you, then scapegoating is pushing the fellow into its path—with special alacrity if one is a stranger to you. A particularly pungent phrasing of the logic of scapegoating one’s own death is as though the sacrifice were to say to God after appraising how nature feeds voraciously of life, “If this is what you want, here, take it!—but leave me alone. If anyone still think that this is merely cleaver phrasing in the minds of alienated intellectuals trying to make private sense out of the evil of their World, let one consult the daily papers. Almost every year there is a recorded sacrifice of human life in remote areas of Chile to appease the Earthquake gods. There have been fifteen recent officially reported cases of human sacrifice in India—one being that of a four-year-old boy sacrificed to appease a Hindu goddess, and another involving a west Indian immigrant couple in England who sacrificed their 16-year-old son, following prayer and meditation, to ward off the death of the mother. #RandolphHarris 3 of 20

In the narcissism of Earthly bodies, where each is imprisoned fatally in one’s own finite integument, everyone is alien to oneself and subject to the status of scapegoat for one’s own life. The logic of ending the lives of others in order to affirm our own life unlocks much that puzzles us in history, much that with out modern minds we seem unable to comprehend, such as the Roman arena games. If the terminating of a captive affirms the power of your life, how much does the actual massive staging of life-and-death struggles affirm a whole society? The continual grinding sacrifice of animal and human life in the arenas was all of a piece with the repressions of a society that was dedicated to war and that lived in the teeth of death. It was a perfect pastime to work off anxieties and show the ultimate personal control of death: the thumbs up or thumbs down on the gladiators. The more death you saw unfold before your eyes and the more you thrust your thumbs downward, the more you bought off your own life. And why was the crucifixion such a favorite form of execution? Because, I think, it was actually a controlled display of dying; the small seat on the cross held the body up so that dying would be prolonged. The longer people looked at the death of someone else, the more pleasure they could have in sensing the security and good fortune of their own survival. #RandolphHarris 4 of 20

The whole meaning of a victory celebration is that we experience the power of our lives and the visible decrease of the enemy: it is a sort of staging of the whole meaning of war, the demonstration of the essence of it—which is why the public display, humiliation, and execution of prisoners is so important. They are weak and die: we are strong and live. The Roman arena games were, in this sense, a continued staging of victory even in the absence of war; each civilian experienced the same power that one otherwise had to earn in war. If we are repulsed by the bloodthirstiness of those games, it is because we choose to banish from our consciousness what true excitement is. For beings, maximum excitement is the confrontation of death and the skillful defiance of it by watching others fed to it as one survives transfixed with rapture. Today only those such as racing-car drivers and sports parachutists can stage these kinds of dramas in civilian life. It seems that the Nazis really began to dedicated themselves to their large-scale sacrifices of life after 1941 when they were beginning to lose and suspected at some dim level of awareness that they might. They hastened the infamous final solution of the Jewish people toward the closing days of their power, and executed their own political prisoners—like Dietrich Bonhoeffer—literally moments before the end. #RandolphHarris 5 of 20

Retreating Germans in Russian and Italy were especially apt to kill with no apparent motive, just to leave a heap of bodies. It is obvious they were offering last-minute hostages to death, stubbornly affirming in a blind, organismic way, “I will not die, you will—see?” It seems that they wanted some kind of victory over evil, and when it could not be the Russians, then it would be the Jews and even other Germans; any substitute scapegoat would have to do. In the recent Bengali revolt, the Western Pakistanis often killed anyone they saw, and when they did not see anyone, they would throw grenades into houses; they piled up a toll of over 3 million despised Bengalis. It is obvious that beings kill to cleanse the Earth of one’s the perceive as tainted ones, and that is what victory means and how it commemorates one’s life and power: humans are bloodthirsty to ward off the flow of their own blood. And it seems further, out of the war experiences of recent times, when humans see that they are trapped and excluded from longer Earthly duration, one says, “If I cannot have it, then neither can you.” Other things that we have found to understand have been hatreds and feuds between tribes and families, and continual butchery practiced for what seemed petty, prideful motives of personal honor and revenge. However, the idea of sacrifice as self-preservation explains these very directly. #RandolphHarris 6 of 20

The characteristic of primitives and of family groups was that they represented a sort of soul pool of immortality-substance. If you depleted this pool by one member, you yourself became more mortal. It is my opinion that this ideology offers a basis for understanding both the bitter hatreds and feuds between North American Indian tribes, and the feuds or vendettas currently practiced in many European countries. Whether it was the theft of women under exogamy, of the murder of male members of the tribe, it was always a matter of avenging serious offenses upon the spiritual economy of the community which, being robbed of one of its symbols of spiritual revenue, sought to cancel or at least avenge the shortages created in the immortality account. This kind of action is natural to primitives especially, who believe in the balance of nature and are careful not to overly deplete the store of life-stuff. Revenge of equals the freeing of life-stuff into the common reservoir from which it can then be reassigned. The primitive notion of life-stuff right up to modern society is a motive for genocidal war and even the everyday secular process of justice: the guilty one is punished in order to return one’s life-stuff to the community. I do not know how much of a burden of explanation we would want to put on the pool of life-stuff in modern, secular society. #RandolphHarris 7 of 20

For one thing, most people no longer believe in the balance of nature, they think that just curbing greenhouse gases, and electric cars are the solution to everything, but watering the trees in the forest, building more reservoirs, and desalinating water would be more effective. Yet, they are not a balancing economical force. Meaning politicians are pushing electric cars to get people off fossil fuels and make other car producers the big manufactures. Curbing greenhouses gases would help, but by planting trees, and grass is another way to do this. Furthermore, some electricity comes from coal, and many cities are already having problems providing electricity to communities and it is hard to find charging stations. Another issue is, we do not often grant to others the same life quality that we have. However, whether or not we believe in a steady pool of life-stuff, numbers are important to humans: if we buy off our own death with that of others, we want to buy it off at a good price. In wartime, we mourn our dead without undue depression because we are able to celebrate an equal if not greater number of deaths in the ranks of the enemy. This explains the obsessive nature of body counting of the enemy as well as the universal tendency to exaggerate one’s losses and minimize those of one’s own side.  When their own lives are at stake is only when people can lie so blatantly and eagerly. #RandolphHarris 8 of 20

The exaggerations expressed by people whose lives are in danger always seem silly to outsiders to the conflict precisely because their lives are not involved. We now have to believe that all warfare and revolutionary struggle are simply a development of feuding and vendettas, where the basic thing at stake is a dramatization of development of nationalism in our time—the fantastic bitterness between nations, the unquestioned loyalty to one’s own, the consuming wars fought in the nae of the fatherland or the motherland—unless we saw it in this light. Our nation and its allies represent those who qualify for eternal survival; we are the chose people. From the time when the Athenians exterminated the Melians because they would not ally with them in war to the modern extermination of the Africans, they dynamic has been the same: all those who join together under one banner are alike and so qualify for the privilege of immortality; all those who are different and outside that banner are excluded from the blessings of eternity. The vicious sadism of war is not only a testing of God’s favor to our side, it is also a proof that the enemy is mortal: “Look how we kill him.” Cruelty can arise from the aesthetic outrage we sometimes feel in the presence of strange individuals who seem to be making out all right. Have they found some secret passage to eternal life? It cannot be.  #RandolphHarris 9 of 20

If those unusual individuals with the unique fashion and behavior are acceptable, then what about my claim to superiority? Can someone like that be my equal in God’s eyes? Does he, that one, dare hope to live forever too—and perhaps crowd me out? I do not like it. All I know is, if he is right, I am wrong. So different and funny-looking. I think he is trying to fool the gods with his sly ways. Let us show him up. He is not very strong. For start, see what he will do when I out shine him. Sadism naturally absorbs the fear of death because by actively manipulating and hating people keep their organism absorbed in the outside World; this keeps self-reflection and the fear of death in a state of low tension. When people hold the fate of others in their hands, they feel they are masters over life and death. As long as they continue shooting, they think more of killing than of being killed. Or, as a wise gangster one put it in a movie, “When killers stop killing, they get killed.” This is already the essence of a theory of sadism. However, more than that it is the clinical proof of the natural wisdom of tyrannical leaders from the time of the divine kingship up to the present day. In times of peace, without an external enemy, the fear that feeds war tends to find its outlet within the society, in the hatred between classes and races, in the everyday violence of crime, of automobile accidents, and even the self-violence of suicide. War sucks much of this up into one fulcrum and shoots it outward to make an unknown enemy pay for our internal sins. How rotational this irrationality. #RandolphHarris 10 of 20

To teach is to transform by informing, to develop a zest for lifelong learning, to help pupil become students—mature independent learners, architects of an exciting, challenging future. Teaching at its best is a kind of communion, a meeting and a merging of the minds. The library is not only there as a socially owned and governed institution, a true people’s information service; it is staffed by men and women who maintain high respect for intellectual values. Because they are also the traditional keeps of the books, the librarians have a healthy sense of the hierarchical relationship between data and ideas, facts and knowledge. The enlightened individual is no propagandist, never aggressively intrudes one’s views in conversation nor forces one’s conclusions on others in an argumentative manner. One accepts people as they mentally are. One enters the inner stillness as a learner, as one who is sensitive to the Interior. Word and capable of responding to it. Such response is as far beyond the guidance of the good religious being by a moral conscience as that in turn is beyond the primitive being’s instincts, appetites, and desires. If in some ways one is as human as everyone else, in other ways one is unlike other beings. This is inevitable because one has gone ahead and surpassed one’s fellows. #RandolphHarris 11 of 20

Insofar as one is aware of other beings and of the objects which surround one, one expresses the Mind which is the Real. And insofar as one may be either lifted at times out of one’s little ego, or endowed with insight which sees beyond that ego, does one express it further still. The intellectual argues where the enlightened beings announces. It is the difference between arguing from theory and announcing from experience. To live in lonely contemplation of the secrets deep down in the heart, to place all ambitions and restless desires on a funeral pyre and burn them up in a heap—these things demand the highest courage possible to a being. Those who would denominate one who has achieved them as a coward, because one does not run with the crowd who fight for pelf and self, make a ghastly mistake. One will bear witness in thought and speech to the joy of this awakened consciousness. If a being deserts blood relation, it is only to take on spiritual ones. If one leaves one’s Earthly house, it is only to enter the monastery, a spiritual one. If one forsakes the society of wife and children, it is only to enjoy that of teacher and students. Thus absolute escape is a mirage and cannot be found. The kind of quality of one’s bounds can be changed and transformed but not really served. The only attainable freedom lies deep within. It is invisible and mental. This is what the enlightened being enjoys. One may be weighted with business responsibilities and surrounded by a family, but in one’s heart nothing holds. #RandolphHarris 12 of 20

Is there then no real need of a master? The answer is “No!” for some people, but “Yes!” for most people. One is needed to wake up the sleeper by telling one the highest truth from the very first time, and then descend by degrees to the stages while still holding on to the truth. The master serves only by showing a seeking person one’s real self, one’s soul: or holding a mirror up to one. This can be called, also, giving one a glimpse, or, more truthfully, being used by God as a vehicle to do so. One who is working under the guidance of a master is not exempt from making mistakes, but one will make fewer and expose them sooner and correct them quicker than one who is not. I write all this in no sneering nor disparaging manner, but rather as one who understands sympathetically the need of most beginners and many intermediates to find guidance outside themselves for the all-sufficient reason that they cannot find it inside. Indeed it is because I have been a disciple that I myself know why others become one, and can approve of their actions. However, that experience is also why I know the limitations and disservices of a discipleship. To say that no teacher is necessary is to set oneself up as a teacher by that very statement. Self-instruction cannot be as correct and efficacious as instruction by an expert, a specialist, or a fully experienced person who can also communicate adequately as a teacher. #RandolphHarris 13 of 20

It is an absolute necessity that whoever seeks to realize the spiritual Truth must seek out a guru. This injunction has hypnotized readers and hearers. We thank our teachers for exemplifying the best of the education profession. Teachers give the students hope and the means to fulfill their aspirations as they guide, nourish, encourage, discipline and love their students. The young and mature minds that teacher mold are our leaders of today and tomorrow. They are making a difference in preparing them for the challenges to come by encouraging them to make a lifelong commitment to learning. The master teacher that lurks within each of us is likelier to burst forth within the intellectual atmosphere that collegiality can create. We need to build up an intimate inner relationship with a being whose compassion is wide enough to understand us and whose power is developed enough to help us. It does not matter that one is in the afterlife. Those who know only a single mode of living, that of the extrovert, or a single mode of thinking, that which is sense-based, need to expose themselves for sufficient time to the influence of a spiritual master before they can begin to become even dimly aware that they have a soul. However, since a fully evolved master is hard to find, something else must act as one’s next best substitute. This must necessarily be an inspired writing produced by such a being. #RandolphHarris 14 of 20

The truth is that nearly all aspirants need the help of expert human guides and printed books when they are actively seeking the Spirit, and of printed books at least when they are merely beginning to seek. It has long been clear to me that teaching is at once the most difficult and the most honorable of professions. We have all been touched by example, guidance, and motivation of a teacher whose often-reluctant pupil we were. We can recall a moment of insight or truth when caught in the act of learning. None of us may owe larger debts for whatever we may have become, for whatever we may have become, for whatever we may have been able to accomplish, than we owe to teachers in our past lives whose total devotion to young people and their discipline has been their chief reward and the reason we honor teachers. It is not essential to find a teacher in the flesh—one may be in print. A book may become a quite effective teacher and guide. The closest we will ever come to an orderly Universe is a good library. Information is a basic human right and the fundamental foundation for the formation of a republic institution. My childhood library was small enough not to be intimidating. And yet I felt the whole World was contained in those two rooms. I could walk any aisle and smell wisdom. However, the death of a library, any library, suggests that the community has lost its soul. #RandolphHarris 15 of 20

In the absence of an enlightened individual’s personal society, one may have recourse to the best substitute—a enlightened being’s printed writings. Inspired texts, portions of scriptures, great being’s writings and sayings offer guidance on the course of action to be followed, the ethical considerations to be heeded, the decisions to be made under certain pressures, crises, or confrontations—decisions whose consequences are often quite grave. Who can price the value of such readings at such times? Spiritual formation is, in practice, the way of rest for the weary and overloaded, of the easy yoke and the light burden of cleaning the inside of the cup of the dish, of the good tree that cannot bear bad fruit. And it is the path along which God’s commandments are found to be not heavy, not burdensome. It is the way of those learning as disciples or apprentices of Jesus to do all things that I have commanded you, within the context of this I have been given say over everything in Heaven and Earth and look, I am with you every minute. However—I emphasize, because it is so important—the primary learning here is not about how to act, just as the primary wrongness or problem in human life is not what we do. Often what human beings do is so horrible that we can be excused, perhaps, for thinking that all that matters is stopping it. However, this is an evasion of the real horror: the heart from which the terrible actions come. In both cases, it is who we are in our thoughts, feelings, dispositions, and choices—in the inner life—that counts. #RandolphHarris 16 of 20

Profound transformations there is the only thing that can definitely conquer outward evil. It is very hard to keep this straight. Failure to do so is a primary cause of failure to grow spiritually. Love, we hear, is patient and kind. Then we mistakenly try to be loving by acting patiently and kindly—and quickly fail. We should always do the best we can in action, of course; but little progress is to be made in that arena until we advance in love itself—the genuine inner readiness and longing to secure the good of others. Until we make significant progress there, our patience and kindness will be shallow and short-lived at best. It is love itself—not loving behavior, or even the wish for intent to love—that has the power to always protect, always true, always hope, put up with anything, and never quit. Merely trying to act lovingly will lead to despair and to the defeat of love. It will make us angry and hopeless. However, taking love itself—God’s kind of love—into the depths of our being though spiritual formation will, by contrast, enable us to act lovingly to an extent that will be surprising even to ourselves, at first. And this love will then become a constant source of joy and refreshment to ourselves and others. Indeed it will be, according to promise, a well of water springing up to eternal life—not an additional burden to carry through life, as acting lovingly surely would be. #RandolphHarris 17 of 20

The invitation to become healed—psychotherapy begins when a person cannot live one’s life further in the ways one has, and consults with somebody who intends to help one. The fact that a person would arrive at such an impasse should provoke wonder, since all of us are gifted with intelligence that could guide us out of existential cul-de-sac. However, people arrive at this point, and there are those who would be of help. How does the sufferer reach one’s stalemate? I believe one chooses it. I agree with the existentialist thinkers that every person chooses one’s ways of being in the World. However, I would go further and assert that people choose their ways of being for somebody. A being chooses one’s way of being for oneself, or for somebody else. One’s choices, naturally, yield consequences. The way a person has chosen to exist was selected from possible alternative ways. It was selected because it seemed to be a way to fulfill or preserve values. These values include, for example, survival, identity, status, the love of another person, money and so forth. If we look now at some particular being’s present condition, whether one be sick or well, we can ask, “Of what way of being is this condition an outcome? At whose invitation did the fellow choose this way of being and not some other? One’s own? One’s mother’s One’s teacher’s? And we can ask further, “What values were fulfilled, and which sacrificed, when the fellow chose and followed this way?” #RandolphHarris 18 of 20

Some people are skeptical of a natural spirit and some writers deny its being. However, Christopher Columbus has established it by argument, and believed that it was produced in the liver and feed the nourishing soule, which is seated in every part of the body. The spirit is supplied by the blood. The spirit whilest is shines in brightness and spreads itself though all the Theatre of the body, as the Sun over the Earth, it blesses all parties with joy and loyalty and dyes them with a rosy color; but the contrary when it is retracted, intercepted or extinguished, all things become horrid, wane, and pale, and finally do utterly perish. So wonderful are the powers of the soul. “Suffer not yourself to be led away by any vain or foolish thing; suffer not the devil to lead away your heart again after those wicked harlots. Behold, O my son, how great iniquity ye brought upon the Zoramites; for when they saw your conduct they would not believe my words. And now the Spirit of the Lord doth say unto me: Command thy children to do good, least they lead away the hearts of many people to destruction; therefore I command you, my son, in the fear of God, that ye refrain from your iniquities. That ye turn to the Lord with all your mind, might, and strength; that ye lead away the hearts of no more to do wickedly; but rather return unto them, and acknowledge your faults and that wrong which ye have done,” Alma 39.11-13. #RandolphHarris 19 of 20

The enlightened does not wish to be regarded as other than one is; not for one the canonization of a saint or the adoration of a god. Insight, and its application to human living, is the final fulfilment for all of us, shall be our natural condition. Grant, we beseech Thee, Almighty God, that the new Birth of Thine Only-begotten Son in the flesh may set free those whom the old bondage detains under the yoke of sin; through the same Jesus Christ our Lord this compensating principle acts as a control and balance. He is not ruled by the reaction, as others are, nor blinded by it to an egoistic judgement. Christ looks out dispassionately upon the course of human life—which includes one’s own life—as if one were not personally involved in it, yet he does whatever ought to be done as if he were. Grant, we beseech Thee, O our God, that Thy family, which has been saved by the Nativity of Thy Son our Lord Jesus Christ, may also quietly repose on Him as a perpetual Redeemer, Who with we shall cling steadyfastly throughout our lives to the writings of our illumined master, returning to him again and again in prayer. His works are the truest of all, pure gold and not alloys. There are also wise beings whose thought goes deep and they understand clearly that our spiritual life is our way to salvation. Their record exists, their sayings and writings also. Their study is worthwhile, their precepts can be put to the test in practical everyday living. #RandolphHarris 20 of 20

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