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Peter My Mink is Dragging on the Floor
A stunning first impression is not the same thing as love at first sight, but surely it is an invitation to consider the matter. We are drawn to people, inspired by them, and even strengthened by their examples. If first impressions are sufficiently favorable, persons will be motivated, when they begin to interact, to provide behaviors that will result in favorable outcomes to the other, and to the degree each is successful in this respect, they become progressively motivated to provide rewards that will maintain the relationship. Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. One of the most important rewards that persons exchange as a relationship develops is support for each other’s view of themselves as persons, their self-concepts. How do you and I become so converted to the truth, so full of faith, so dependent on God that we are able to meet trials and even be strengthened by them? A fundamental purpose of Earth is personal growth and attainment. We will have challenges, even difficulties, where decisions of great importance must be made so that we can grow, develop, and succeed in this mortal test. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7
Gratefully, God’s love is perfect. God has moved so deeply in the hearts of so many. Some people regard unconditional love is something that is real, and the most real things there is. The most consistent finding in the empirical literature on attraction is that persons are attracted to others whom they perceive as accepting them as they see themselves and who allow them to behave in a self-validating manner. Thus, in the early phases of interaction, each person begins tentatively to reveal one’s self to the other. The process of self-disclosure involves first, information about the self that each feels relatively confident about and relatively certain that the other will find acceptable. We may disclose information about our intellectual aptitude, or athletic abilities to see how we relate to others. This type of comparison helps us decide whether we are superior or inferior to others. Disclosures about abilities or talents can also make us more relatable to others. For instance, 80 percent of people find faithfulness as a top attribute they find attractive about a person. A sense of humor is important and it makes people seem more intelligent. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7
For long relationships, individuals tend to prefer others who are altruistic, kind, and do good deeds. Being involved in a charity is seen as a really attractive trait. Other studies have shown the people with dogs are generally more attractive also because they have a capacity to love and care for another being over a long term. We want to make ourselves open to others, through self-disclosure, but we also want to maintain a sense of privacy. If someone knows too much about you upfront, it might impede them from going further in the relationship because they see it as too much of a risk or hassle. Later in the process of self-disclosure, persons revel more intimate details about which they are less confident, hence in greater need of social validation, and which they are less certain will be regarded favorably. Revelations at this level play an important part in the process of self-creation. As a relationship develops, each person feels sufficiently secure to try out or tentatively display new elements of identity. Such displays may take the form of revealing hitherto private hopes and fears about the self, or more indirectly, of recounting to the other past or current episodes of behavior where the person behaved in a fashion viewed as confirming some nascent element of self. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7
Studies of the self-disclosure process generally find that, in the early part of a relationship at least, each person tends to pace the process of disclosure by revealing to the other information about the same level of intimacy. As in any other exchange, persons feel obligated to adhere to the norm of reciprocity. To the extent that one person’s revelations at progressively more intimate levels are increasingly rewarding in terms of signifying regard and trust to the other partner, the latter feels obligated to return revelations thought to be of equal rewarding value. However, disclosures that are too intimate often highlight character, personality, or other kinds of sensitivity information, thus decreasing congeniality. People who make intimate disclosures too early in relationships are often perceived as insecure, which further decreases someone’s interest in them. One time I was walking by a fancy Italian restaurant, and two guys in their forties were on what seemed to me as their first date, and one of them was telling the other guy about how painful his recovery from cancer was. The guy he was with replied, “Oh, gees,” and picked up a bread stick and ate it. He seemed rather pensive and I got the impression that it would probably be their last date. The process of self-disclosure contributes to another basic interpersonal process, the growth of trust, which in turn further facilitates more intimate disclosure. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7
While there is not complete agreement on a definition of trust, a key element appears to be a sense of certainty that the trusted person will not behave at some point in the future in a way that endangers anticipated favorable outcomes of the trusting person. When first dating, you want to make an individual feel good and talk about things that make them happy. It is like you are selling yourself in a sense. People have options and they do not want to get attached to someone who might drain them of their emotional or financial resources. Each person’s revelations of progressively more intimate details concerning one’s self, and their acceptance and confirmation by the other, give assurance that any resultant vulnerability will not be exploited, either because both partners are equally vulnerable or because each perceives the exchange of progressively more intimate details as a sign of increasingly close interpersonal ties. Generally, as the details get more intimate, that means that the emotional bond in the relationship is probably increasing. So, when the relationship seems to be getting more serious, that is a good time to tell a person sensitive information about yourself that might affect them wanting to have a long-term commitment with you, and that is only fair. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7
More than likely if a person cares enough and can deal with it, then they will likely continue in the relationship because they are already emotionally and somewhat financially invested. For instance, some people have commitment issues and cannot figure out whether they want to move to another part of the country or go back to school, or even just a plan to get a cup of coffee with a friend. One might be reluctant to disclose that he or she has problems making choices, from something as small as choosing what movie to see, to something more significant like signing a lease for house. The fact that persons perceive the intimacy of disclosure as indicative of attraction allows the self-disclosure process to function as a pacing device in the development of a relationship. By the depth of disclosure to another, a person may indicate one’s degree of emotional involvement in the relationship. While our emphasis so far has been on the manner in which self-disclosure allows for maintenance and creation of self-elements, an extremely important reward, self-disclosure provides each partner with information concerning other outcomes as well. Persons learn what kinds of behaviors have reward value to each other and which behaviors are costly. This information, in turn, can be used as a guide in arriving at mutually satisfying patterns of exchange that become a part of the structure of interdependence that constitutes the relationship. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7
As you get to now a person who seemed to be commitment issues, you might begin to understand that person has a lot going for one’s self, and just needed to meet someone who is trustworthy. That individual might be optimistic, loving, and a sincere individual who wants to settle down. People are capable of changing, but not until they are ready to understand how things are controlling their lives. It requires both willingness and openness to new insights and new activities before one is able to take the first step in successfully challenging relationship issues. God has given us the capacity to exercise faith, that we may find peace, joy, and purpose in life. However, to employ its power, faith must be founded on something. There is no more solid foundation than faith in the love Heavenly Father has planned. Lord, make us an instrument of your peace. Grant that we may not so much seek to be loved as to love. God, who from among all your angels, chose the Archangel Gabriel to announce the mystery of the Incarnation, mercifully grant that we who solemnly remember him on Earth may feel the benefit of his patronage in Heaven, who lives and reigns for ever and ever. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7
Love if the Greatest thing in the World
Love is the greatest thing in the World. Friends and romantic partners tend to have certain characteristics in common, such as age, education, and even intelligence. Similarity related to attraction has a long history of empirical support. As covenant-keeping men and women, we need to lift each other and help each other become the people the Lord would have us become. Generally, persons are attracted to others who are similar in social background characteristics and value. The idea that romantic partners or friends would be similar seems pretty intuitive. Studies of friendship suggests that people also have a preference for leisure activities with others who are similar to them. The degree of similarity with respect to opinions, personality traits, and social background characteristics of stimulus persons has for the most part supported the similarity-attraction relationship. Agreement with another leads the person to anticipate rewarding interaction, and where it actually facilitates joint pleasurable activities, it also can be expected to lead to attraction. Agreement in activity preferences, attitudes, and values not only ensures that persons will hit upon mutually satisfying activities, but that they will be able to carry them out with a minimum of friction. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
Next to inspiring talks, music, TV shows, food, and prayers that always touch our hearts, persons are attracted to others who agree with their opinions, but dislike others whose views are divergent. Agreement is rewarding and disagreement punishing, either because liking an agreeing other and disliking one who disagrees provides a balanced cognitive state—one that is psychologically pleasant and comfortable. Or because agreement satisfies a person’s affectance needs, the need to feel secure in dealing with the World. Another general explanation is the persons tend to anticipate that individuals who are similar to them will like them. Homogamy or similarity in social background characteristics and accompanying similarity in interests, attitudes, and values in marital partners is in part the result of structural aspects of society that favor higher rates of interactions among persons similar in these respects, leading to increased chances of their forming a relationship regardless of these similarities. It is important to help create an environment where the Spirit of the Lord can abide. We need to work together to lift each other up and the rising generation and help them reach their divine potential as heirs of eternal life. We should be able to rejoice with each other as we try to become our very best selves. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
There is so much more of happiness to be had when we can rejoice in another’s success and not just in our own. Similarity appears to have stronger effects in the early stages of a relationship because of the kinds of rewards and costs persons experience at later periods in their relationship. Similarity is a filtering device, as it influences each person’s anticipation of future rewards in general, and in particular the reward of being liked. One of the strongest associations on attraction is the correlation between liking and the perception of being liked in turn. People are insecure concerning their acceptance by others, similarity appears to be more powerful factor in influencing their choice of associates than when they feel more secure. We want to feel like we are a precious gift, and would like to express our love for our companions. Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity. Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity. Like all gifts which come from above, words are sacred, and must be spoken with care, and by constraint of the Spirit. Attitudes seem less important at later points in a relationship when there are other bases for reciprocity of liking. In the long run, the need for a relationship with someone we love is so strong that it overcomes differences. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
Physical attractiveness has been shown to have effects similar to central traits or master statuses when it comes to dating. Physical attractiveness accounts for a large part of the variance in dating partners’ responses to each other, including the desire to continue the relationship. Physically attractive people are liked. Attraction may result from the rewards of esthetic satisfaction. Persons may receive rewards from others as a result of their forming a relationship with an attractive other, either because this conforms with a cultural norm that persons toward whom one is attracted is supposed to be physically attractive or because one’s ability to form a relationship with an attractive or because one’s ability to form a relationship with an attractive other attests to one’s own desirability in the eyes of others. Studies have shown that for males at least, that a male romantically involved with an attractive female enhances his status. Both males and females attributed personality traits of higher social desirability to pictures of attractive persons than to pictures of those of average attractiveness or those judged relatively unattractive. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
Respondents also predicted that more attractive people would have more favorable life experiences, including higher occupational status, more successful marriages, and in general greater happiness. Attractive people are more likely to win election, attractive university professors get higher evaluations, and attractive people are usually treated more leniently in the legal system. Physically attractive people are also seen as intimately warmer and more responsive, illustrating the effects of selective perception and perceptual accentuation. Research has also suggested that the effects of the cultural stereotype of the physically attractive are often to bring about behavior on the part of the perceiver that, in the manner of a self-fulfilling prophecy, elicits behavior on the part of the perceived person that further enhances the attractiveness of that person. When people are told that someone is attractive, they are more likely to believe it. Research also shows that small babies prefer to look at attractive faces than less attractive face. Further, children tend to prefer attractive child. And adults think that attractive children are more intelligent and successful. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
These findings show that people often attach beneficial qualities to attractive people. This is sometimes called the physical attractiveness stereotype—the tendency for people to assume that attractive people possess other socially desirable traits in addition to their looks. To some extent, this is true. Some research shows that physically attractive people are more popular and out outgoing. However, these small differences may be due, in part, to self-fulfilling prophecies: because being physically attractive is socially desirable, attractive people may become more confident and outgoing and so may be more confident and outgoing and so may be more popular with others. Also, it is important to note that physical attractiveness has its drawback. In particular, more attractive people are often the subject of unwanted advances and resentment from less attractive individuals. Nevertheless, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. God, strengthen us in the power of your might. Guide us against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the Heavenly places. Protect our soul and grant us discernment to recognize your truth. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
This is the Best Season for Falling in Love
While we strive for the virtue of tolerance, other commendable qualities need not be lost. Suppose you see someone you like in the supermarket, you might start off an encounter by asking them is $26 is too much to pay for eggs. The increasing emphasis on process and on a development approach to attraction has psychological and sociological approaches. Love is special because it is innocent and pure. People in a loving relationship will forever remember the hugs, cuddles, holding hands, sweet whispers, long drives, late night conversations and the romantic walks through the park. The sheer excitement of feeling love will engrave all the sweet moments in your mind forever, as you experience extreme range of emotional highs and lows that make love an epic experience. The growth of a relationship takes places in three stages: an early stage in which initial attraction is based on the stimulus characteristics of the persons, their physical characteristics, and so forth; a second stage where values consensus is explored and confirmed; and a final stage where the details of their roles within the relationship are worked out to the mutual advantage of the partners. Fortunately, for many people, they do not have issues like dear Samantha from Bewitched. You see, beautiful Samantha falls in love with the handsome New York advertising executive Darrin Stephens, and she feel like the luckiest woman in the World. Shortly after, they marry. However, Darrin later on finds out that Samantha is one of a secret society of powerful witches and warlocks and that she has magical powers. A few years go by, and Samantha and Darrin have words over if he would have married her or not knowing that she is a witch, and so they go back in the past, to begin with a precontact or preawareness stage in order to allow consideration of the factors to see if they would influence the relationship.
Things get complicated when Samantha tells Darrin she is a witch before the engagement. The awareness allows for an influence on his first impression of Samantha and the perceptual process and self-presentation disturbs Darrin when she uses her witchcraft manifest two different dinners in a fraction of a second. Although Darrin still asks Samantha to marry him, his boss Larry Tate also finds out that she is a witch and this leads to a role negotiation in the defining and evaluation of the relationship. Larry Tate wants to use Samantha to make their advertising firm the most successful in the World. So, Samantha feels like Darrin is just using her for her powers and to get a promotion to Vice President, and the discussion allowed for consideration of process to the maintenance of the relationship or its eventual dissolution. As a result, Darrin and Samantha almost do not get married. However, Darrin’s boss Larry Tate admits that he is the one who came up with the idea to use Samantha for her powers, and Darrin and Sam still get married, then they go back to the future and are happy that their love is true. No matter if she told him she was a witch or not, Darrin would have married her. Any explanation of the formation and growth of a relationship must start at some point prior to the time when the two individuals meet. Starting at a level of no contact and no awareness, there are various factors that two persons in a given populations will move at least to the stage of unilateral awareness. The crucial variables here are of two kinds. First, there is a variety of institutional structures and processes that determine the physical and temporal location of person. Social variables, such as social class, that affect residential, occupational, and leisure-time locations, along with the ecological process of differentiation and segregation that create distinctive location for types of persons and activities, influence the likelihood that persons will encounter each other.
These social and individual variables are implicated also in the development of social networks, another source of influence on the likelihood of contact between persons. When a person is linked to a particular network or web of acquaintances, one is more likely to know about and be introduced to others in that network. These variables and processes account in part for the general tendency toward homogamy in relationships because their effect generally is to increase the likelihood, frequency, and duration of contact between persons similar in social and, to some extent, personal characteristics. Structural and ecological influences are also related to attraction through their effects on propinquity. Mate selection deals with residential proximity of future spouses. Distance, as well as architectural features influence traffic patterns within and between buildings, affected acquaintanceship, and their can also be attraction among housemates. The beautiful Victorian house painted in whimsical colors, with its charming turrets, attic dormers creating cozy spaces on the third floor. The wide front porch, with pretty roses growing on a beautiful white trellis looked so stunning. And, beyond being a lovely place to linger, beautiful lush blooms in the rose garden create stunning scenery and waves of wonderful fragrance. Butterflies are numerous, birds and bees zip around the flowers. This happiness gets engrained in your mind forever. The blissful feeling of love can never be replicated because it is natural. There is a sense that your love will last forever, and you plan all of your hopes and dreams with your relationship. The beautiful memories of this once in a lifetime experience will linger in your heart and mind forever. Proximity is related in a variety of ways to attraction. Physical intimacy, like simply holding hands makes for a sweet, romantic moment. Love is pure attraction, led by mind and heart. In addition to the indirect effect of propinquity on attraction through similarity, physical closeness facilitates a number of processes that contribute to attraction. When interacting with those nearby, persons are likely to hit upon outcomes sufficiently satisfactory to discourage interaction with those at greater distance. The interactions with those physically close is much more apt to produce initially favorable outcomes for a number of reason. First, the physical and psychological costs are likely to be less in interaction. Whereas the low physical cost is obvious. Psychologically, normative expectations are such as to make interaction between persons spatially contiguous psychologically less costly than with those only slightly more distant. Also, if you are going out of your way to make contact with someone who you are attracted with, they will notice and wonder why you are contacting them when there is obviously someone closer you could have contacted instead. As you gradually learn to be more fully conscious in many aspects of your life—your breathing, your thoughts, your body—you will become increasingly good at noticing what is going on when you are engaged in interactions with others.
You will be able to observe yourself, noticing what kind of messages your mind may be giving you, or noticing how the other person responds to what you are doing or saying. By increasing your overall level of awareness through mindfulness practice, you will begin to feel much more capable of thinking and acting in new ways in difficult areas of your life, especially in your intimate relationships. Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially, possibly as friends or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a prospective partner in a more committed intimate relationship or marriage. Romantic relationships are important for our happiness and well-being. When building a relationship, it is important to be honest and take things slow. Tell a person you want to get to know them and wonder if they would like to join you for brunch. This way, one is establishing a foundation of appreciation and respect. Occasionally set aside time to check in with each other on changing expectations and goals. Makes sure that a person is interested in being more than friends with you before you make an intimate gesture. The goal in any relationship is to feel safe, supported, and respected. The degree that proximity encourages frequent observation and interaction, persons are able to predict each other’s behavior and avoid the cost of uncertainty and response conflict, reactions which are apt to occur in unfamiliar situations. And, frequent interactions not only increase the chances of discovering similarities as well as other rewarding characteristics of another person, but allows for the operation of social influences processes that may produce similarity. In addition, a variety of processes emerge in early interaction, that provides a certain momentum favoring a relationship already initiated over later alternatives. However, do not assume you are irresistible. You may not be someone’s type, they may already be in a relationship, or you may have to be charming and charismatic to get their affection. Nevertheless, our highest priorities in life are to love God and to love our family, community, nation and World. May our hearts be filled with sweet forgiving; may we learn tolerance and love and respect.
Sorry does Not Restore my Hindsight
At the beginning was the word, one who wants to make progress, even if by the smallest steps, must first liberate one’s self from the word, from the superstition of names, and from the tyranny of language. In addition, one of the important things learned in the acquisition of institutional roles is how to maintain self-esteem even under adverse organizational circumstances. Proper attitude in this crisis dominated World is a priceless possession. Never before has it been more important for all of us to move forward with pride. We may be behind, but we are not losing if we are moving in the right direction. God will not score our performances until the end of the journey. He who has made us expects us to be victorious. God stands by anxious to answer or calls for help and for us to praise and thank him. We must lead with good cheer, optimism, and courage if we are manifest the Kingdom of God. We should thank the Lord, our God, in all things with thankfulness and shall be made glorious. Thank God in all personal challenges. With God’s help, we can accomplish all things and be winners indeed in the processes of eternity. #RandolphHarris 1 of 8
No one really knows a language, not even one’s native language; indeed, there is no such thing as a language. In science, it is clear that only the knowledge of the history of an idea can impart a clear conception of the true nature of that ides. Since every word has its own history, for a thorough knowledge of a language one would need to be familiar with its whole history. This is completely unknown to most people. Even the philologist’s knowledge about it is quite superficial. It is a colossal delusion to believe that language is a property of humankind and that it is something inherently rich. If language were such a thing—sort of like a tool—then with use it would deteriorate and wear out. However, language is not an object, not a property, not a tool—but a usage. Language is simply language-use. This is not a play on words, but a fact. Angelical was supposed to have been the language God used to create the World, and then used by Adam to speak with God and Angels and to name all things in existence. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8
Language is a truly remarkable phenomenon—arbitrary and yet systematic, obviously learned but apparently on the basis of specific innate capacities, understood by small children, but infinite in its possible variations. After his fall from Paradise, Adam lost the language of Angelical, and constructed a form of proto-Hebrew based upon his vague memory of Angelical. This explains why the more language is used, the richer and stronger it grows. If we want to start seeing the power of God manifest in our lives, we will have to start paying attention to what we say. Words have power—more than any of us may realize, but we often speak of them as though they were meaningless. Because of that, mist believers at one time or another have been hurt by something a careless whisper. Every time an individual says something that they do not really means, it begins to numb the heart. Therefore, keep it down, voices carry. Human beings attain social goals through talk. That this gets done (with errors and violations of a magnitude sufficient ordinarily only to reveal the underlying patterns) is itself remarkable. What is even more remarkable is the substantial similarity in how it gets done in what at first appear to be very different cultures and very different modes of talk. #RandolphHarris 3 of 8
Language is so complex that children could not learn them if there were not genetically fitted to do so. Infants have some sort of innate capacity (sometimes called the LAD or Language Acquisition Device) which permits them to construct theories of their language on the basis of the speech data in the World around them. Children’s speech capabilities are both well developed and individually differentiated at fairly young ages (five years is frequently seen as a threshold); some investigators have therefore concluded that the LAD begins to atrophy at the point at which the fundamentals of language are mastered. Other investigators assert that language learning is a life-long process, and that adaption and modification of language is continuous. Children’s rapid acquisition of a wide range of grammatical (phonological, syntactic) skills is well documented. The parallel development of skills children acquire which allow them to use their developing linguistic skills effectively in social interaction, develop best in a World that is rich with sounds, sights, and consistent exposure to the speech and language of others. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8
Face, in a certain context, is a public self-image that every member wants to claim for one’s self. Philosophers have always been interested in meaning, and have contributed to much of the conceptual apparatus used in its discussion (sense, reference, connotation, denotation, intention, intension, and so forth). Problems of meaning are not simple, and for many years linguists seemed willing to let philosopher struggles with them. Investigators who have studied conversational exchanges in English have identified and described such features of conversation, as for example, sequencing (including placement of laughter), interruptions, self- (and other) corrections, and so forth, in order to explicate such conversational accomplishments as, for example, gaining and holding the floor, telling acceptable stories, extending invitations, making social categorization, and so on. The analysis is understanding of how conversations are successfully begun, carried on, and ended in rule-governed social interaction. Language is also used as a method of social control in talk than to more visible instances of manipulative acts involving named instrumentalities. #RandolphHarris 5 of 8
There are many ways of saying the same thing, depending on the age and culture of the person and also the location where what they are trying to explained happened. Some people do not always know how to accurately transform their thoughts into action, and such a mistake could get a person in a lot of trouble. Also, social control attempts are things we should pay more attention to. Some people try to manipulate the sound of words to convey a point on the sly, while others will make a statement so you can gather a social que and act in the manner they are suggesting. And Body language can be used to make statements as well. I do not think anyone would wish to deny the obvious—that we keep on learning more of our language in some sense as we get older. Language develops cognitive skills, fosters connections to international markets, preserves ancient traditions and histories, and cultivates a crucial understanding and appreciation of the World. When we can understand that culture in its language, and get a comprehensive view, we are immediately receptive to areas where conflict can be averted. #RandolphHarris 6 of 8
It is important to train global citizens and global leaders to have a transcultural literacy at a deep level. For some cultures, “Cooking fish,” does not mean preparing fish that you bought from the market for a meal to consume. Language is employed as a resource in social control and on the macrolevel those who control symbol control societies through their use in cultural reproduction and therefore in continuing class dominance. The greater an individual’s context independence in speech, through greater facility in these elaborated codes, the greater an individual’s ability to disengage from the immediate and the concrete (that is, to attain cognitive detachment), and thus the greater one’s autonomy and control over access to the environment is. Controllers are also used in different mixes of control modes and discretion in accomplishing different functions. For example, if you pick a friend up and she or he lives far away and they ask can they stay the night, but you do not want them to, you might say, “When do you think you will be ready to leave?” or “You will have to walk home if you stay.” Many people speak English, but different subcultures use certain words in a context, which might make you think you need to consult an ancient scribe. #RandolphHarris 7 of 8
Biblical thought and indeed the intellectual cultural traditions of most societies are communicated especially through languages. The choice and orchestration of the words provide a clue to what the meaning of the World is about. What is so perilous, then, in the fact that people speak and that their speech proliferates? Where is the danger in that? Philosophers, linguists, psychologist, and social psychologists as well, are deeply involved in questions of meaning and intent. Reading ancient text may not solve all of our problems, but it will give us a sense of whom we are talking to, of what fundamental social, cultural, and ecological realities we are facing, which we ignore at our peril. Latin, at the height of the Empire, was a sick language before it become a dead language. The cultural languages of our age are similarly sick, rotten to the core. We need to keep language strong and healthy. The languages of sophistication have all developed through metaphorization and we need to prevent them from all becoming childish as the meanings of the metaphors are forgotten. Sorry does not restore my hindsight. Now may the Lord, peace himself, give you his peace at all times and in every situation. #RandolphHarris 8 of 8
California’s Circle of Fear
The purpose of a career is so that leaders can shape a better World by strategically exploring, planning, and creating future paths, where their actions and choices also facilitate continuous learning and growth in the work force. The structural imperative of the job, requires values that give a wide range of psychological variables, especially intellectual flexibility. Empirical evidence is substantive that complexity of work beneficially affects the socialization and self-creation of the individual. More specifically, as jobs increase in status and prestige, they also increase the degree of autonomy, creativity, and discretion allowed in the worker. The career also tends to be more satisfying and rewarding. People in work situations that provide little opportunity for upward mobility tend to limit their aspirations, seek satisfaction in activities outside of work or alienation from work. These displaced workers will create strong peer associations in which interpersonal relations take precedence over other aspects of the job, and develop loyalties to the local unit rather than to the larger organization. The second dimension, being low in organizational power, also has negative psychological and behavioral consequences for the individual. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7
Individuals who are stifled at work become pettier, bossier, and more authoritarian; use subordinates for their frame of reference; and rely more on coercive than persuasive techniques of control. And the third dimension is when people are underrepresented in their career field, they find it harder to be taken seriously; are more isolated and excluded from informal peer networks, and may be oppressed. All of these dimensions represent behavioral consequences of disadvantaged position is the work force. Breaking these cycles of development is difficult because the tendency is for the individual’s competence, confidence, and power progressively to increase (or decrease); and the perceptions and expectations that others have of the individual become solidified. This model can produce a set of structural conditions that contribute to the development of self-actualizing or self-defeating people. Self-actualized people are motivated to try out new experiences. They will feel secure enough about one’s own personality—strengths, weaknesses, and uniqueness—to expand one’s horizon. In contrast, people who are self-defeating let external influences serve to frustrate, thwart, or destroy one’s own intention of interests by internalizing and letting negative forces dictate their abilities. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7
The structure of opportunity brings in the workers assessment of the future, via prospects for upward mobility, as a factor in present adjustments. People relate to the present in part in terms of their expectations and prospects for the future to be stuck is a very different work experience than being up and coming. There is ample evidence on work in American society to suggest substantial dissatisfaction and alienation of workers from their jobs. In a recent department of Health, Education, and Welfare report, only 43 percent of workers who perform professional jobs (doctors, lawyers, teachers) and just 24 percent of labor workers (construction workers, retail, manufacturers) reported that they were satisfied with their jobs. The socialization consequences of work settings can reflect either processes of relatively passive compliance and adaptation to external exigencies or process of self-determination and expansion. Therefore, a critical element of career philosophy is to support internal mobility. Internal mobility is the extent to which employees move into new careers within an organization, based on their performance. It is a measure of how well some corporations encourage employees to develop and stretch themselves so that they can advance and live a productive life. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7
Employees who are successful keep their skills and knowledge fresh and current. They show up to work on time, are professional, have good hygiene, maintain a reputation for being optimistic and adaptable. Highly competent employees develop and sustain meaningful professional relationships, and they stay informed about current trends influencing the corporation, economy, and their specific career field. Re-socialization can take place in various institutional settings established for this purpose, such as in peer groups, church, and compensatory education programs. The specific objectives of these contexts vary from political socialization (or brainwashing) to religious conversion to various types of reeducation such as workshops and meetings. Delinquency is seen primarily as a group phenomenon and the task of rehabilitation is one of changing the shared delinquent characteristics. Participation in some of these contexts is voluntary, and in others involuntary. Most of these contexts can be characterized as involving intense small-group interaction where the socialization ratio is large, and where the interaction environment is totalistic or closed. Under these circumstances, one’s sense of reality is most effectively restructured. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7
The Democratic Communist program used brainwashing as a source of reeducation. Along with the physical coercion, the lack of sleep, and various forms of psychological stress, physical and financial assault to weaken their target’s hold on past beliefs and identities. It was a process of identity casting used in the situation. From the beginning, it was made clear that the target’s life and rights did not matter, and that they must perish, and in one’s place must arise a new person, resurrected in the Communist mold. Often times that meant an individual was killed and their identity was given to a different person. The original person’s major status identifications, such as doctor, priest, teacher, as well as the individual’s name, were undermined and replaced by the identity of criminal. Perhaps the most significant assaults upon the now prisoner’s identity occurred during the process of confession. Confession, which was the major technique employed by the captors to involve the prisoner in the process of one’s own reform, required thorough and compelling self-examination of every action, attitude, and thought, and always from the people’s perspective. A series of denunciations of friends and associates was required as an essential part of the confession. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7
Making these denunciations not only generated feelings of guilt and shame in the prisoner, but it subverted the structure of one’s own life. Even when the prisoner was aware that one’s confession was wild and one’s denunciations invalid, one usually began to behave as if one were a criminal. If the prisoner would not, then the opposition forces would have someone impersonate the individual to act out the behavior the oppressors wanted to convince the public that the prisoner’s refashioned identity was emerging. This may be considered the rebirth. In this case, the boy’s initial situation was purposely amorphous: The prisoner is left on one’s own to figure out why authorities are doing what they are doing and what they must do to get out of trouble. The new conscript soon discovered that the only avenue for release was through participation in the delinquent peer group, which was the primary source of pressure for change. The main interactions took place in daily group discussion session. In these group sessions, the essential ingredients of identity assault included confession of past transgressions through a minute re-examination of the past, including one’s former identities, with the assistant of a reform vocabulary and the constant pressure of the peer group. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7
Usually these targets are easy to break because they are alienated from their past identity, unhappy with themselves or their lives, lack a strong sense of self and identity, and carry a burden of guilt. The main task for the group is to channel this discontent into the creation of the new self. Initially, the major technique used to make the prisoner receptive to change was fear. It was simply fear of physical punishment and harassment. However, as the effects of confession, self-betrayal, and group attack began to take hold, it became a fear of psychological annihilation (hitting rock bottom psychologically). There is also another strategy, which was to use love to manipulate the prisoner. Love is used as the most coercive and cruel power of all. Either love or fear was used to strengthen the group’s hold over the individual and make the individual more vulnerable to radical re-socialization. However, when a target is resistant, the program may fail. Although the individual may be physically weaker, psychologically they are stronger. And as the participants in the program group, the corruption becomes exposed because people hear about the torture and they start to see. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7
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The Glory of God is Intelligence
Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this Earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. We are of infinite worth to our Heavenly Father. The school, like the family, is an institution whose explicit mandate is to socialize people. In each case, this mandate is directed toward children. The school’s mission, however, is defined more narrowly than that of the family. It is primarily concerned with the formal instruction of children and the development of their cognitive skills (but here again, more is learned by the child than that which is explicitly taught). That is why if I could afford to, I would send my children to private school so they can learn about God as part of their enrichment material, and also so they would not pick up the habit of swearing from their friends, and also because they would have to wear a uniform, which is more likely to get them ready to conform to the career World. Next to the family, the school is the institution in which the child is most directly involved. And like the family, this involvement is largely involuntary. However, in most other respects, family and classroom constitute quite different socialization experiences for the child. #RandolphHarris 1 of 12
School is important in life because people need to gain knowledge and intelligence through their diligence and obedience so that they can have an advantage in the World to come. The classroom is composed of one adult and around twenty-five bright young children of both genders and approximately the same age, drawn from a relatively small geographical area. The major status distinction, which is important so students can learn to respect authority figures besides their parents, is between the teacher and pupils. There is a law, irrevocably decreed in Heaven before the foundations of this World, upon which all blessings are predicated—and when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated. The relationship between teacher and student is more of a limited scope (that is, more role-specific), and of shorter duration than is that between parent and child. The procedure of annual promotion from grade to grade provides the child with the experience of establishing and severing relationship with adults at regular periods. This being the case, we all should place the pursuit of light and truth, and intelligence, uppermost in our selections of goals, since we may have them eternally. #RandolphHarris 2 of 12
The glory of God is intelligence. School is the first socializing agency in the child’s experience that institutionalizes a differentiation of statues based on achievement. However, many parents can tell that their babies are intelligent and understand because, for example, when Leo (age 1) is asked to dance, but the music he likes is not on, he will not. However, when classical music is playing and he is asked to dance, he starts smiling and moving his hands and arms and head and legs, and even motions like he is conducting the composition. Other children Leo’s age when playing with a horse make the sound a horse makes when walking. Or watch their parents cook and when playing, get a pot and pretend to cook and taste the food and share it with their family. The homogeneous age composition of the class is an especially consequential feature of classroom structure. It provides the child with a standard of comparison for evaluating his or her competencies. It also provides the teacher with a standard for evaluating each student. Formal and public evaluation of performance is one of the hallmarks of the school experience, and, as we shall see, it has substantial consequences for the child’s self-esteem. #RandolphHarris 3 of 12
As you can see, it is important for children to be around their peer group, as they are all developing at the same relative level and can teach each other things. Ostensibly, school is primarily concerned with the cognitive development of the child—the acquisition of knowledge, the development of analytical and verbal skills, and other competencies. However, in the course of this socialization experience, other things are also learned, such as general norms and beliefs, and other aspects of the child are affected (personality characteristics, self-esteem). It is also important to understand, and this may or may not be fair, but grades are about social reinforcement, expectancy effects, and social comparison processes. The most conspicuous socialization process in the classroom (as perhaps, in the family) is social reinforcement. Teachers rely on several reinforcers in attempting to shape the student’s behavior and development—praise, blame, privileges, and, most important, grades. Grades represent the most concrete evidence of official (teacher’s) approval or disapproval of the student’s performance. #RandolphHarris 4 of 12
However, grade may also be used to reinforcement more than just the development of cognitive competencies. Teachers are likely to reward those students who conform to the social order of the school with higher grades and punish violators with lower grades, independent of their respective academic and cognitive accomplishments. An ABC10 Journalist, Gabrielle Karol reported on Beyer High School (Modesto, California USA), where sophomore Cedric Wright got in trouble for slapping his best friend. Cedric Wright was supposedly defending another student his best friend punched in the arm. The kids were all supposedly playing around like people do in the locker room. However, both Cedric and his friend were sent to the principal’s office. Cedric got a two day in-school suspension, where he sat in an intervention center, and was not allowed to go to class. Cedric Wright’s parents got upset and filed a complaint because the best friend did not get an equal punishment for a similar offense. Mr. James Wright thought his son had a bias applied against him because he is African American. After the complaint was filed by Cedric’s parents, it was then that Cedric’s best friend was punished. #RandolphHarris 5 of 12
Ignorance is expensive; in fact, it is the most expensive commodity we know anything about. Certainly, we make many mistakes through ignorance. After an investigation, the school claims there was a miscommunication, and that is why Cedric Wright was the only student punished initially. In this case, conformity to the social order meant that certain personality characteristics were rewarded (for example, dependability, consistency, perseverance, identification with school, punctuality, and tact), while others are punished or disapproved (for example, creativity, aggression, and independence). Sometimes people feel that certain families or students are out of control because they are successfully, well integrated and solid middle class, which is against an outdated negative stereotype that a small segment of the population would like to adhere to. There seems to be a significant positive relationship between the grade-point average of high school students and the first set of personality characteristics listed and second set of characteristics. Similar evidence reflects that grades are more than scholastic achievement of students. #RandolphHarris 6 of 12
Where there is no law, there is no transgression. In a study of 639 National Merit Scholars, it was found that differences in scholastic achievement were not related to grades. However, two personality variables were significantly and positively related to grades: citizenship and drive to achieve. However, it was found that neither of these two variables had a significant effect on actual achievement measures, and both were negatively related to measures of creativity and mental flexibility. There is evidence that teachers directly reinforce certain personality characteristics and discourage others through the use of grades and other reinforcers. Less obvious than social reinforcement, but perhaps no less pervasive, are expectancy effects and social comparison process. Expectancy effects, better known as self-fulfilling prophecies, are part of the broader process of defining situations and thereby constructing realities. The concept refers to the capacity of beliefs or expectancies to alter a state of affairs so that it comes to be congruent with the original belief. If people define situations as real, they are real in their consequences. #RandolphHarris 7 of 12
The self-fulfilling prophecy is, in the beginning, a false definition of the situation evoking a new behavior which makes the originally false conception come true. This specious validity to the self-fulfilling prophecy perpetuates a region of error. For the prophet will cite the actual course of events as proof that he or she was right from the very beginning. Self-fulfilling prophecies are usually always negative, as attested by the literature on race relations, deviance, and stereotyping. However, research of self-fulfilling prophecies in the classroom demonstrates that greater intellectual growth can be produced if the teacher expected that than if he or she did not. The findings were equivocal, as teacher’s expectations had a significant effect on pupils’ IQ gains for first and second-graders. The fear that many people have, however, concerning the self-fulfilling prophecy in the classroom is not with regard to the effect of the teacher’s high expectations, but rather his or her low expectations of certain students. Especially in schools where the student body is racially or socioeconomically mixed, parents and policy makers fear that the teacher would have lower expectations for the underrepresented or lower-income students, and that these expectations will be communicated in differential treatment. #RandolphHarris 8 of 12
A careful study gives credence to some of these fears. A class of Black children was followed from kindergarten through second grade. There were numerous and subtle ways in which the teacher transmitted her expectations of their competencies or incompetencies to these children in a process that became self-fulfilling. According to Gabrielle Karol, a journalist from ABC10, data from California state assessments from 11th grade students found that 64 percent of African American students did not meet state standards in English, compared to 33 percent European American students. In math, 93 percent of African American students failed to meet standards, compared to 64 percent of European American students. While subconscious stereotypes can lead to biases in judgment that people are not aware of, we need to help educate teachers and others in positions of power to erode these outdated standards of prophecy. At the same time, we need to encourage parents to be more active in their students’ education and ask them to investigate why their students are underperforming. If parents get involved, they can act as agents to educate teachers and let them know that they will not stand for unfair treatment, or help to correct the educational problems their kids are manifesting. #RandolphHarris 9 of 12
We need to help prepare leaders in education and to generate knowledge to improve student opportunity, achievement, and success. Sometimes people will try to demonize your children and ruin their lives because their own children are deviant and your kids make them look bad. Even though we may not think we are guilty of our sin because of our ignorance, neither can we receive the blessing, which is predicated on obedience, without rendering obedience to that law. Therefore, we are denied the blessing through our ignorance. If it is a traffic law one has violated through ignorance, the penalty is assessed exactly as one had known. Ignorance of the law is not an excuse. The goal of school is to have an exceptional and collaborative community of faculty, students, and alumni dedicated to improving lives and expanding opportunities through the comprehensive study and effective practice of education. We want our kids to grow to become innovative leaders in the community, entrepreneurs, and explorers of the World. It is also important the teachers understand that we expect a diverse, moral development of our children, an international education policy, and organizational leadership. #RandolphHarris 10 of 12
We want our children to be taught by renowned experts, who are passionate about education and preparing students to become transformative leaders. With that being said, it is important to be honest and let parents know when their children could do better and how, or to directly communicate that to the student. Never miss an opportunity to remind children the pivotal importance of a strong education. College is the key to success and a better life. Higher education encompasses more kinds of experiences, and more kinds of different experiences, than there are people in your classroom, and there is a place for every one of you. Commit to the goal of a higher education, and share your plans with others. Write it down, tell your parents, teachers, coaches, friends and extended family. Share your educational dreams with anyone who will be supportive. College education leads to higher incomes, lower unemployment rates, better access to health care, and it will give you the freedom to understand yourself differently. With education you will have a vaster range of life experiences. #RandolphHarris 11 of 12
It is impossible for anyone to be saved in ignorance. No person is truly enlightened unless he or she knows God. Education will help you learn to have meaningful conversations with people and give you a wide range of viewpoints. Education teaches people to even reconsider their own view point. By attending college, you will encourage dreams that you have never dreamed. Every person has extraordinary gifts, and education will help you build your future. Dear Lord, as we continue in life, help us never to forget to devote our time of praise and worship to you. We know, God, that you are the one who sustains us and we are so grateful that you blessed us with this amazing life on this beautiful planet. God, we know that you are renewing our minds. We pray that all of our instructors, professors, and administrators will also experience the love of God. We will grow and learn, and as we strive, we will become more like our teachers. Please give them wisdom, strength and courage to be the best authority figures. Help them stay healthy as they do teach us. Lord, if they do not know you personally, we pray that they come to know you and in doing so that their instruction and working is glorifying to you. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 12 of 12
Genius is Simply a Poetic Name for Hard Work
Their secrete abominations have been brought out of the darkness, and made known to us. Living in the past is not terribly productive you will discover, it is too easy to become entangled in its haunting web. It can distort the present, sometimes out of all recognition, but fortunately, most of us can draw that fine line between what is, and what was. We can see things as they are, not as they used to be. Perhaps that is not always a good thing. Perhaps if we could just, if we could just occasionally drift back to time’s past, moments that are done. However, that is just wishful thinking, I am afraid. If you live in the past, you shall lose your joy, strength, praise, and leadership influence. To dwell in the past is dangerous because it will make you old before your time. It is extinguishing the hope for the future, and make you bitter, angry, and depressed. Some focus on the past because they feel alone, or abandoned. These might include those longing to be married, those who have lost a spouse, and those who have lost—or have never been blessed with—children. Our empathy embraces wives forsaken by their husbands, husbands whose wives have walked away, and children bereft of one or both of their parents. However, the very process of salvation consists in the interpenetration of the good into the midst of the evil. #RandolphHarris 1 of 8
People do not usually deliberately become narrow minded, selfish, and sinful. They become such because they do not deliberately devote themselves to some noble aim. The human mind is mainly drawn to the future, and not driven by the past. Human beings typically rely on their foresight, they are always looking for the next big trend, how to improve a product, which investment will eventually yield dividends, and so forth. Those who have been successful in business are people who have studied well the laws of business, and toiled with sleepless vigilance and unwearied zeal. The people who have attained great scholarship, or who have risen to the highest places in the realm of letters or in the profession, have been people with industry and an aim. Genius is simply a poetic name for hard work, and for the power of keeping at the appointed task until it has been complete. The history of all great and useful people illustrates that the onward look is essential to success. We sometimes have to forget the things we left behind and reach forth onto the things that are before us, pressing towards the blessings that have been promised to us by God. We have to have a vision and work hard towards this vision and know that the glory of fulfillment will come to us. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8
The spirit of looking forward to the future must be part of our vision in life. We are here to develop the spiritual life and build up the kingdom of God. If our spirits are true and hearts steadfast, we shall be richer and greater in the years to come. The best way to prove that we have been useful in the past is to illustrate that in the conduct of today and the purpose for tomorrow. Some people let a single deed of virtue last them a lifetime, but the measure of a person is not simply what one has done, but what one is doing and what one will do in the future. Let us keep looking towards a Heavenly life. If we keep in view the destiny of which the love of God has created for us, we shall find comfort and courage along our journey. Above the wrongs and injustice of the World, and the confusion is the triumph of God. Inside of you, there is a feeling that you are destine to do great things. Trust this instinct. We find instinct to be a great power. It teaches us how to provide for ourselves, how to love, and guides and directs us in our very lives. God has given us great capabilities and great wisdom. The inner sense of purpose is what matters right now in each individual’s life and career. #RandolphHarris 3 of 8
The future is important to focus on because when we think of technology and research and development, the objection is invention. To have a prosperous future, we have to put our health and well-being first. It is also important to take the best advice that exists and make the right choices. We can to create an environment where people feel comfortable around us and we feel comfortable with them so it is safe to make a living and have a life. And if we can impact the lives of the community in a beneficial way, it will also have an effect on the next generation. Do not tolerate things that are against your nature because you could lose yourself in the end. Betrayal and lying are that we cannot accept. Independence is also very important because if you are a servant to someone, what justice can you have? It is necessary to build clear and honest relationships with people. Every organization, be it a political party, state, or private structures needs to bringing in new talent, change and modernize to be able to advance differently and stay competitive. Also, people do not like being under pressure, it can sometimes have a reverse effect. On the other hand, our society cannot become perfect in one day. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8
While some people work every day, at whatever it is they are trying to do, it is certainly not for everyone. Some people are driven by demands and internal pressures to turn out a production every day, and their life is constantly spent thinking about what they will do next. It is an addiction for them, they have to constantly feed their business because it is like part of their soul and it gives them strength. Whenever what they are doing catches, they are a success, or they reach a level where they are comfortable, then it is possible to relax. However, for the average person, it is good to consciously try to have one day off, and it is not about being lazy and a lack of abilities. Sometimes when you give your mind time to rest you come up with new ideas, new innovations or new inventions. When I was in college, I used to study all the time and my friends encouraged me and reminded me of how President Donald Trump became very successful from working hard. Now, he is arguably the richest and most powerful man in the World. My goal is to get to a level where I can build my dream house and afford vacations and other luxuries. #RandolphHarris 5 of 8
Some people, when they are loaded with daily routine and papers all the time, lose the ability to look into the future, but that is what keeps me motivated. Because of my unique schedule, I need to create an opportunity for myself, to become highly desirable, so I can work around my responsibilities, or meet someone who will accommodate my schedule. I currently do not even sleep at night. The idea here is to help uplift people and help them identify their strengths and open possibilities from there. A lot of research is done, so there is a lot of education going on in the process that will hopefully have some benefits in the future. Sometimes I dream about being a motivational speaker in the days ahead and that is why it is important to study psychology, religion, and sociology. The goal is not to talk about my negative experiences as a tool of motivations, but show people, by example and through listening, how to help them advance toward future goals. The work we do helps enhance family and social connections because the people who have guided me can see and hear that I am listening to them and implementing their advice and following their examples, and that makes people feel a sense of pride and also makes people more willing to help you in whatever way they can. #RandolphHarris 6 of 8
It is kind of an interesting support system, and I have learned that is it best for me not to say anything negative, but to constantly absorb information and try to produce good content. It seems to keep myself and others uplifted. You will find that society is really like a chain, and once you start to become weak and tarnished, it does have an impact on others. With regard to degree of openness and flexibility because of differences in the nature of social networks within families or social institutions there have been consequences for types of linguistic codes that people use in socialization. There are different in the types of social institutions, cultural processes, and historical developments because of class-associated differences, ethnic, racial, and religious influences. One of the major problems in this area is to disentangle the effects of these various factors. There has been a progressive decrease in the recent decades in the amount of contact between American parents, children, and peer groups. Various social forces (such as urbanization, commuting, working parents, social media, and the professionalization of child care) have operated to decrease the amount of time families and peer group interaction takes place, and so there are other socializing agents. #RandolpHarris 7 of 8
Unfortunately, these new socializing agents have produced a vacuum that is increasingly filled by the child’s involvement with social media and television. Children and adult’s peer groups develop independently of (and often in opposition to) healthy standards and values. They become a frame of reference and a powerful socializing influence for individual. So, does the television and social media. The American child spends about as much time watching television as he or she spends in school, and more than in any other activity except sleep and play. The insidious influence of television and other forms of technology is not so much with regard to the behavior that it produces in a child (even though this might be bad enough), but rather the behavior it prevents, that is, the human interaction foregone in the course by using social media or being a passive viewer. However, divine compassion is never absent, God is always faithful, he never flees nor fails us. Let us be loved, happy, and peaceful. Let our friends be loved, happy, and peaceful. Let our perceived enemies be happy, loved, and peaceful. Let all beings be happy, loved, and peaceful. Let the whole World experience these things. President Lincoln says, “Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” Therefore walk uprightly before God; and observe to do good continually, and to keep his commandments. #RandolphHarris 8 of 8
Grant Us Compassionate Hearts
Everyone has a story. We are all central characters in our own lives. Much of the human personality is made through socialization. Our rising generation is worthy of our best efforts to support and strengthen them in their journey to adulthood. As an institution, the function of the parents is to develop children into competent, moral, and self-sufficient adults. Parents socialize their children for membership in the larger society. In the process, of course, parents also become socialized. Relationships within the family are intimate, intensive, relatively enduring, particularistic, and diffuse. This is why the socialization that takes place here is usually the most pervasive and consequential for the individual. It is also the first socialization context that most of experience—the place where we develop our initial sense of self. The family, in contemporary society at least, is a relatively simple structure, usually composed of father, mother, and a few children. The parents generally have considerably more power and authority than the children (although the power disparity decreases as the children get older). Perhaps the most powerful thing you can tell your family is that you love them because it lets them now that they are not alone and you care. #RandolphHarris 1 of 9
There is a wide range of process and outcomes of socialization within the family, especially for the child. It is the context in which the child’s initial sense of self develops and basic identities, motivations, values, and beliefs are formed. A good deal of the socialization that takes place in the family involves learning appropriate role behavior associated with various family positions. For the children gender and age roles are very significant because of the consequences that they have for self-conceptions. They are sources of major identities that individuals hold. As such, they are sources of motivation (wanting to act in accordance with role requirements), values (having a beneficial or negative feeling toward the identity), and, perhaps most important, they engender relatively unshakeable conceptions of reality. They also develop very early in the socialization process, shortly after the acquisition of language. Not long after the appearance of reflective thinking (that is, the ability to view the self as an object), the child, in categorizing its World and constructing its reality, categorizes itself as boy or girl. This becomes a statement of fact, not subject to opinion nor negotiation—just as the identities of brother, sister, youngest child, and becomes statement of fact as the children forms. #RandolphHarris 2 of 9
The behavioral consequences of age and gender roles for boys and girls—that is, the role behaviors considered appropriate—take a long time to develop and are negotiable. Through a process of reinforcement from parents and others, through identification with various role models, through countless parental admonitions and instructions, the child is socialized into the specific behavioral expectations associated with these roles. Girls generally learn gender-appropriate behavior through identification with their mothers, whereas boys learn it through identification with a culturally defined masculine role. This difference in processes involved in gender-role learning is a function of the traditional division of labor in the home. As a result, the process of gender-role learning for girls is through observing their mother and modeling her behavior. However, since, generally speaking, the father is often less visible, the process of gender-role learning is more complicated for boys. Their problem is to determine, on the basis of various sources of information (such as mother’s sanctions against unmasculine behavior, males portrayed in the mass media, and observation of men in various circumstances), what constitutes appropriate masculine behavior and to use it as a standard for one’s own conduct. This involves abstracting from a number of diverse sources of information a general model of masculinity. #RandolphHarris 3 of 9
Many of the youth are remarkable in their spiritual maturity and in their faith. However, even the best of them are sorely tested. And the testing will become more severe. Children learn at a young age that there are distinct expectations for them based on their assigned gender. We must put family first and identify specific ways to strengthen our youth. Studies show that children are aware of gender roles by age two or three; at four or five, most children are firmly entrenched in culturally appropriate gender roles. Parents often supply male children with toy trucks, cars, action figures, robots, balls, sports toys, and books. Female children are often given dolls, doll houses, baking sets, books, balls, sports toys, and stuffed animals. Most children will choose to play with gender appropriate toys even when cross-gender toys are available, because parents give children good feedback (in the form of praise, involvement, and physical closeness) for gender-normative behavior. Our rising generation is worthy of our best efforts to support and strengthen them in their journey to adulthood. Make your family feel appreciated and acknowledged. People who show gratitude feel better about their lives, are more optimistic and in better health than people who are not. #RandolphHarris 4 of 9
In out routine of life, we often take our families—our parents and children and siblings—for granted. However, there is no question that what we care about most is our families. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose. Parents are not the only agents within the family important to the child’s gender-role learning. Siblings also have an effect. In a study of gender-role learning in two-child families, children who have a sibling of the opposite gender have more personality traits of the opposite gender than do children from same-gender sibling system, and this effect is greater for younger than for older siblings. Furthermore, this process of mutual influence is asymmetrical in the sibling order. Older siblings, because of their greater power and competence, have more influence over younger siblings. Identification as a process of development of gender-role identities is important in the formation of other aspects of self-concept, also. We develop a sense of who we are by identifying with and differentiating from others. By showing vulnerability, you can help a relationship feel more equal and bring you closer to your family. Kids do better when they ask for help. #RandolphHarris 5 of 9
In the name of tolerance, the definition of family has been expanded beyond recognition to the point that family can be any individuals of any gender who live together with or without commitment or children. Parenting styles and socialization outcomes are a product of roles, values, norms, and beliefs that are the main cultural contents transmitted from parents to children, more or less intentionally, in congruence with general socialization goals that parents hold. Much of the child’s family socialization is of this kind. However, it is inadvertent, unintentional, and often unconsciously produced by parents. Styles of parental behavior are more likely to be relevant to this aspect of the socialization process. Families, and especially children, a sacred privilege that will teach us to become more like God. Most parents throughout the World continue to know both the importance and the joy that are attached to families. Many parents want to be a bigger influence on their children than the media and the peer group. They want their kids to be functioning members of the community, and to treat people with love and respect and be loved and respected as well. In this culture of super competitive sports and pressure to achieve, tell you children how much you enjoy him or her doing the sport they love. #RandolphHarris 6 of 9
Parental support combined with inductive or authoritative (as opposed to authoritarian) control have the most favorable socialization effects on the child, that is, development of high self-esteem, sense of competence, conscience, internalization of adult standards, and high achievement motivation. Because the family is the basic unit of society, of the economy, of our culture, and of our government, the family will also be the basic unit in the celestial kingdom. A reason for the efficacy of these parental behavior is that both modeling and identification are affected by them. The most contagious models for the child is likely to be those who are the major sources of support and control. Furthermore, a strong affective relationship between parent and child facilitates the child’s identification with the parent (and the parent’s with the child). In short, parenting styles that result in a warm, supportive, reasonably constricting family environment produce a child who is readily socialized to adult standards. On the other hand, cold, rigid, and coercively-restrictive family environments produce children who are rebellious, resentful, and insecure. Accepting responsibility and owning up to our mistakes is one of the most important things we can do with family members. It is a way to mend relationships that are problematic. #RandolphHarris 7 of 9
Sometimes it is difficult for us to tell the people we care about most how much they mean to us. Since the relationship between parent and child is highly reciprocal, parents are also affected in the process. In fact, in the initial confrontation between parent and offspring, the parent is much more influenced by the infant than vice versa. By means of the cry and the smile, infants are very effective at shaping parental behavior. Socialization into the parental role is largely a matter of on-the-job training, with the child’s responses to the parent one of the major processes involved in the role definition of parent. Family-centered perspective will make people strive to be the best parents in the World. It should give us enormous respect for our children, who truly are our spiritual siblings, and it should cause us to devote whatever time is necessary to strengthen our families. Indeed, nothings is more critically connected to happiness—both our own and that of our children—than how well we love and support one another within the family. There can be no genuine happiness separate and apart from the home, and every effort made to sanctify and preserve its influence is uplifting to those who toil and sacrifice for its establishment. #RandolphHarris 8 of 9
Perhaps the greatest gift we can give someone is to let him or her know how their actions affected us—how something they did made us happier, stronger, and well. Heavenly Father, please shine your light upon our family. Give us strength to overcome all of the difficulties that we are dealing with and protect us against any and all problems we may encounter in the future. Lord, please bring us together as we are meant to be. May the love that binds us only grown stronger as we fulfill the destiny you have laid out for us. Grant our family forgiveness for any sins we have committed. May we also forgive one another, Lord. Provide for all of our need and protect us from harm and evil. God, thank you for blessing us with our families, and please lead us to the perfect truth. Family will be even more important when we leave this life and enter into the spirit World. Surely the first people we will seek to find there will be father, mother, spouse, children, and siblings. God reveal yourself to us and let us come into agreement with you. Grant us compassionate hearts. #RandolphHarris 9 of 9
The Winchester Mystery House
On a spirit quest, a paranormal investigator faces some fascinating and terrifying experiences while working in The Winchester Mystery House. She gets entangled in a web of demons and evil entities she never expected. https://winchestermysteryhouse.com/
Thank you for Being my Friend
Friendships are unique relationships because we choose to enter them. When we make a person feel he or she is wanted, their entire attitude changes. The processes of socialization contain an essential contradiction. Although socialization serves to perpetuate the existing society—its ideology, roles, norms, and values—socialization also contains seeds for change. Many people think a friend is a person who is willing to take us the way we are. However, if we leave a person the way they are, we are something less than a real friend. There seems to be a misunderstanding on the part of what it means to be a friend. Just as individuals may become differently socialized because of differences in the past experiences, motivations and capacities, so may they become differently socialized because of differences in the structure of the social settings in which they interact. Identifications with the socializer or the socializing group makes one more receptive to their influences and motivated to be socialized in accordance with their standards. It is in the interest of socializing agents and agencies to encourage the socializees’ identification with their socializers, and in the process, to develop identities appropriate to the group’s purpose and goals. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
Our friends are important to our happiness. Situations that are occasions for socialization vary in scope and duration, from relatively trivial and fleeting encounters to totally absorbing and enduring experiences. Acts of a friend should result in self-improvement, better attitudes, self-reliance, comfort, consolation, self-respect, and better well-being. Although friendships tend to change as we age, we want consistency from them. However, not all friendships last forever. The word friend is certainly misused if it is identified with a person who contributes to our delinquency, misery, deficiency, and heartaches. If our actions and attitudes result in improvement and independence, our friendship will be recognizable. It takes courage to be a real friend. The changes that individuals undergo as a result of social influences is relevant in organized social relationships. In this sense, there is a membership component to a sociological conception of socialization. To be socialized is to belong. All friendships should enhance our lives and teach of ways of showing people the love of God. Even if these friendships do not last forever, it is important to learn how to leave people better off for having spent time forming an emotional and psychological attachment with you. Friends are people we can talk to, enjoy, depend on, and trust. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
It takes courage to be a real friend. A process of unlearning is frequently a necessary step in the re-socialization process. That is, old identities, beliefs, and values may have to be abandoned in the process of creating a new self-concept and World view. Some of us endanger the valued classification of friend because of our unwillingness to be one under all circumstances. What is learned is not always what is taught. Fear can deprive us of friendship. The two most important elements of the internal structure of socialization contexts are the role system and the power distribution. The role system refers to the configuration of social statuses, along with the behavioral expectations, rights, and responsibilities, operating in a group. Some of us identify our closest friends are those with the courage to remain and share themselves with us under all circumstances, and everyone has a different level or power and a different position. Nonetheless, a friend is a person who will suggest and render the best for us regardless of the immediate consequences. We should also have time to devote to our friends. Sophisticated adults usually spend between 10 to 25 hours a week with friends. Because of busy life schedules, career demands, and family responsibilities, some people may or may not be able to spend that much time with their friends, even if they would like to. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
Roles are part of the social fabric in peer groups and they can be relaxed, amorphous, and emergent. Roles provide one of the main contents of socialization in because they encompass specific identities, behaviors, values, and beliefs. However, even more important, roles provide a major link between the social system and the individual. Two characteristics of roles are relevant in this regard: their reciprocity and their embeddedness. Our friends have these exuberant and profound importance in helping us figure out who we are, and they sometimes help us make decisions that shape us into the people we are. We are embedded in these interpersonal relationships that become sources of our personal identity, values, and beliefs. We become committed to these roles we play with our friends because we invest so much time with them. Friends improve our daily lives by their willingness to reprimand, admonish, love, encourage, protect, and guide our needs. Our friends treat us with a noble sense, are inspirational, and courageous. They take us the way we are and leave us improved. When it comes to friends, we prioritize events that will create experiences, which will make us happiest in the moment. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
Friends are relationships that we earn. After tests and trials, it is nice when we meet people who are faithful and true in all things. Some people do manage to stay friends for life, or at least a huge portion of their lives. Communication tends to be an importation aspect of the socioemotional part of friends. Hanging out with a set of good friends can be fun because you all have your own language, inside jokes, and references that only the group understands, which can be a bonding factor. As you know, communication skills and mutual understand also helps friends successfully transition through life changes that may be difficult. As we fully strive to comprehend the significance of friendship, we also try to keep our lives unspotted from the sins of the World. It is also a worthy daily goal to be a true friend to one’s self as well. And remember, if our life is of no value to our friends, it is of no value to us. That means we should only socialize with people who care about our lives and really love us and want to make sure that we stay safe. A friend in the true sense is not a person who passively nods approval. A friend is a person who cares. No greater reward can come to any of us as we serve than a sincere, “Thank you for being my friend.” #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
Friends are people we want to be able to trust with our secrets, house, kids, and family. When we are weak, we are made stronger through our friendships. Friendship is real. If we can be judged by our friends, we can also be measured by their heights. A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one’s heart, knowing that the gentlest hands will be there to uplift and set us right. May God help us to be friends. We need God’s friendship. He pleads for ours. God lives. He is near. God is available. God, thank you for our friends, you create beautiful friendships. Our friends are such a blessing in our lives. God, we are excited about the incredible things you are doing for us and through us each day. Thank you for shaping us, preparing us, and positioning us to fulfill our destinies. God, we pray that you will give our friends peace that surpasses comprehension and that in you will uplift each of our friends at work. God, help us to demonstrate your grace and friendliness towards the people in our lives and that we construct ourselves in Godly ways and friendly manners towards each and every one. Please strengthen our hearts, and calm the fears of all concerned, with the blessings, and your healing touch. Your Grace is sufficient for all our needs and your love for each of us the best thing in the World. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
Oysters Rockefeller–Leaving the Family and getting into Adulthood
Miracles happen all around us. Our supreme focus should be on the spiritual miracles that are available to all of God’s children. However, a myth supported by most theories of pre-adult development is that at the end of adolescence you get yourself together and, as normal, mature adult, you enter into a relatively stable, integrated life pattern that can continue more or less indefinitely. This is a rather cruel illusion since it leads people in early adulthood to believe that they are, or should be, fully adult and settled, and that there are no major crises, or developmental changes ahead. Instead of this rather tranquil picture of adult development, there are several key issues that must be resolved sequentially through adulthood; one is the process of becoming one’s own person. Unless the individual goes through some level of inner turmoil and reassessment at this time, further development will not occur and overall mental health will be affected adversely. Pain is a part of the unique human experience, accepting it is a sign of maturity. In many societies, adulthood is confirmed at different stages, when individuals have exhibited various kinds of psychological and social behaviour. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7
Consistency and change in adulthood is dependent upon a variety of individual, social, and historical variable, in particular, health, education, and socioeconomic status. Stressful life events and adaption to them are central to socialization. Role transitions occur because of such life events, such as periods of depression, economic prosperity, war, marriage, birth of a child, and death of a loved one. For instance, during the Great Depression, people who experienced this cultural event early in their work careers were more negatively affected in the long run than were those already established. And although most members of society may shape their life courses by such social clock, it by no means determines the precise pattern of an individual’s life course. Individual sequencing that is divergent from norms, as well as historical events that upset the age-grading clock, may alter patterns either for individuals or entire age cohorts. An individual may postpone higher education to find him or herself, this deviating from both the age-grade norms and work ethic norms as well. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7
Historical events, such as wars or depressions, or the construction of a sports complex in a low-income community, impinge upon the timing of life events, such as marriage, completion of education, and childbearing. For people from deprived families, changes in the family division of labour usually means getting a job which results in accelerated movement toward the adult World. Also, families who are dominated by a mother, usually makes an individual more vocationally aware and more likely to view values of job security and family life as important when they become adults. Nevertheless, although there are changes that will be difficult when an individual becomes an adult, it does not mean that the transition needs to be characterized by stress and turmoil. An individual may become a different person by virtue of changing physique, changing major social roles and changing participation. Cognitions to new situations and situational adjustments can be enjoyable. We know that buying a first house is much more than just finding a cute place and getting a decent mortgage. A whole host of factors play into this big life decision: location, interest rates, the length of time you plan to spend in the house, and the projects people will commit hours, days, and years of their life to. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7
Homeownership is a rite of passage most of us dream of. Many people spend years thinking about their own house and designing to make it a space that is truly theirs. Pride of ownership is a major reason why people yearn to own a house. From the landscape, type of house, curtains, appliances, furniture, paint colors, wall paper to the light fixtures, type of bathtubs and the creative uses for different spaces in the house are decorative ideas that make people happy. When it is your house, you can do what you want with the space. Not only that, but you can listen to the type of music you like, watch TV shows that bring you pleasure, and have a sense of privacy, stability, and security. It is making an investment in your future. Also, homeowners can get mortgage deductions on their tax returns. The joys of home ownership really come to life when you have a housewarming party! It is a blessing to have friends, family, and coworkers over to celebrate the house that you own. You can have food and drinks and talk about life. Staying put in one place for long periods of time also creates social benefits that range from friendships with neighbors to community involvement and consistent educational opportunities for children. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7
This proves that the assumption that major life transitions must be experienced as a crisis ignores the joys of life like child birth. New born babies are a big joy for many parents. The new born child is so cute and adorable and not something everyone can have; a baby is not something you can buy at the store, they are generally a mix of you and your partner, meaning that no one else can create the same bundle of joy that you can. The scent new born baby is the best, they smell so clean, their skin is soft, and they have cute cheeks, and cut little thighs with roles, and the babies sound so gentle. All they want is to be loved, protected, and fed. As they grow, they learn different things like how to give hugs. Jillian and Justin’s son Leo is just like a bright ray of sunshine with his gold hair. He has a big bright smile and is so smart. He just turned one year old and when he is hungry, sometimes he will walk over to the pantry and start looking for something to eat. He also like to dance. When he hears classical music, he reaches out his arms like he is dancing with a girl and sways them from side to side. And then sometimes when he wants to sit on the couch, he will climb up there, but cannot sit himself up right because he is still so young and gets frustrated and it is just so adorable. Or sometimes when he wants to be held, he will cry a little so you will pick him up. These are joys that only parents will experience. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7
When grown children leave home, a lot of them choose to marry, and this allows for the possibility of new roles and personal growth. When people get engaged it is usually because they are in love. They met someone who has characteristics they like and makes them happy. It is part of trusting a person. People are excited to be engaged to their best friend—it is so romantic. Love is an overwhelming emotion, as individuals are excited to see what the future holds for them. That is why engagement is one of the most precious moments in everyone’s life. It is a beautiful and priceless time, as it is a symbol of love. You have someone who will be there to laugh with you, lift you up and to love you unconditionally through your journey in life. A faithful partner will love you selflessly. Human love is a wonderful adventure. Respecting someone, as though each of you are treasures that belong to each other reminds us that the Lord, our God is with us. God sees and hears you, and will bless your marriage with radiance and happiness. When you meet your soulmate it is utter proof that your years of prayers for a great partner have not go unheard. It teaches you that preparation for a marriage is more than just rings, flower arrangements, selecting a church or rose garden. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7
Love is a process that revolves around the relationship, socialization, and social change. Being engaged to be married is an in depth spiritual process. You will know that God is at the center of our relationship. Finding someone you can spend your life with is truly a miracle. God said, “For I am God, and I will show miracles unto all those who believe on my name.” That is why we must firmly center our faith on God the Father and his holy plan. Faith in God allows us to understand and accept God’s will for eternity. Being a child of God is a miracle. Receiving a body in his image and likeness is a miracle. The gift of life is a miracle. The potential for eternal life is a miracle. While it is good to pray for and work for physical protection and healing during our mortal existence, our supreme focus should be on the spiritual miracles that are available to all of God’s children. No matter our ethnicity, no matter our nationality, no matter what we have done, if we repent, no matter what may have been done to us—all of us have equal access to these miracles. We are living miracles, and more miracles are ahead. Such a process is credited with bringing about social change over generations and redefinition of our roles over time. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7
Randolph Harris II International 