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I love that Draper James Hydrangea Row Peplum Knit Dress
There is no place I would rather be in this World, although I have been looking at mansion in France, you would be surprised what $6 million can get you. Anyway, in your eyes I am lost. I stand in awe of your beauty. A thing of beauty will be a treasure forever. As my head hits the pillow, I will dream of you. So, baby let us just turn down the lights and close the door. Oh, I love that Draper James Hydrangea Row Peplum knit dress. I unzip the back to watch it fall, while I kiss your neck and shoulders. No, do not be afraid to show it off, I will be right here to hold you. I have been in love with you baby. Oh, my darling, I was so lonely searching for you and for you only. My darling I love you so. My love is true, longing for you, no one else will do. When I first saw you dear I know you were alone. I said to myself that I had better make you my own. Your brother caught us kissing. I thought he would surely tell, until he started playing those wedding bells. Now my darling, I am yours forever. Do not ever leave me, leave me never. My darling I love you so. www.draperjames.com
Memories of a Lifetime–I Stumbled on this Photograph
The heart is initially no more than an enlarged blood vessel, and eventually becomes the four-chambered structure found in human beings. Every great discovery is just like perception, an operation of the understanding, an immediate intuition, and as such the work of an instant, a flash of insight. They are not the result of a process of abstract reasoning, which only serves to make the immediate knowledge of the understanding permanent for thought by bringing it under abstract concepts, i.e, it makes knowledge distinct, it puts us in a position to impart it and explain it to others. The experience we undergo is the result of the interaction between reality and the particular human organism, but even though we are required to acknowledge the existence of the external stimulant, we can never know exactly what it is like it our own right. This is a unique case in that, although we can investigate the effects of the stimulant, the cause is inherently unknowable. The keenness of the understanding in apprehending the casual relations of objects which are known indirectly, does not find its only application in the sphere of natural sciences (though all the discoveries in that sphere are due to it), but it also appears in practical life. #RandolphHarris 1 of 14
Since we cannot know the nature of reality apart from its effects, we are led to a belief in some Unknowable; this does not mean, however, that we are committed to a belief in the existence of God. First of all, our complete dependence on sensory data for knowledge makes it impossible for us to tell whether this Unknowable is at all comparable to any kind of divine substance. We are never in the position to test whether our idea of what the Absolute is, corresponds to what it actually is. Second, reasoning, which is no more than an advanced physical ability by which an organism can meet environmental problems, cannot cope with data that are not reducible to observables. When such an endeavor is made, reasoning, like any machine whose function is abused, breaks down. Consider what occurs when we attempt to analyze a concept whose reference is take to be necessarily outside of the domain of experience—the concept of God. All questions are either unanswerable or productive paradoxes. If there is a God, then how did he come into existence? If he created himself out of nothing, then how can something come out of nothing? #RandolphHarris 2 of 14
The fact that God is treated as an immanent, existing or operating within; inherent, permanently pervading and sustaining the Universe, rather than an external power, does not eliminate the questions that are raised with theism. It is still impossible to imagine the Universe arising uncaused out of nothing. This is why I believe that the Universe is like a sea-walnut, which produces its own light to sustain life and ward off predators, but is contained in the ocean. It is only logical that we would think of the Universe as existent in some potential form prior to its becoming actual; and even if it were meaningful to speak of the potential Universe, the question would still remain how a potential Universe could have been created. Are we then necessarily led to atheism? No. The fact that we do not know whether a God exists does not mean that therefore no God exists. The rejection of theism and pantheism entails only that we can have no knowledge about the Unknowable, not that the Unknowable does not exists. At most we can simply say that we do not know whether there is a God. #RandolphHarris 3 of 14
Many religions still cling to beliefs that arose because primitive people could not account for natural phenomena. Thus, the notion of a soul, or of a ghost, arose because primitive people could not account for dreams, shadows, and reflections. All such phenomena led to the belief that people were dual personalities, one of which remains unchanged regardless of changes in the visible human. From this conception there gradually developed the theory that there were eternal, unchanging, omnipotent personalities. In this way, people came to believe in gods; and, for similar reason, the Judaeo-Christin God has many strictly human traits. This religious anthropomorphism which depicted God as filled with hatreds and desires that were appropriate only to human beings. Nevertheless, religion can serve as a means of fostering friendships and cooperation among human beings and also of guaranteeing the retention of the most worthwhile values of the past. Furthermore, religion can be useful as a way of developing interest in the various enigmas that are found in the Universe, a means of motivating people to initiate scientific inquiries. #RandolphHarris 4 of 14
The fact that we can never know what the Unknowable is in itself does not imply that we cannot have any genuine knowledge. Good sense or prudence signifies exclusively understanding at the command of the will. However, the limits of these conceptions must not be too sharply defined, for it is always that one function of the understanding by means of which all animals perceive objects in space, which, in its keenest form, appears now in the phenomena of nature, correctly inferring the unknown causes from the given effects, and providing the material from which the reason frames general rules as laws of natural now inventing complicated and ingenious machines by adapting known causes to desired effects; now in the sphere of motives, seeing though and frustrating intrigues and machinations, or fitly disposing the motives and the people who are susceptible to them, setting them in motion, as machines are moved by levers and wheels, and directing them at will to the accomplishment of the ends. Deficiency of understanding is called an intellectual disability. It is dullness in applying the law of causality, incapacity for the immediate apprehension of the concatenations of causes and effect, motives and actions. #RandolphHarris 5 of 14
A stupid person has no insight into the connection of natural phenomena, either when they follow their own course, or when they are intentionally combined, i.e., are applied to machinery. A stupid person does not observe that persons, who apparently act independently of each other, are really in collusion; that person is therefore easily mystified; and outwitted; one does not discern the hidden motives of proffered advice or expressions of opinion. But it is always just one thing that the individual lacks—keenness, rapidity, ease in applying the law of causality, i.e., the power of understanding. The domain of phenomena of the Unknowable is characterized by features which are not controllable by our desires or even by our manipulations. Certain relationship consistently appear in spite of our objections or antagonistic attitudes. Also, in all objectsions, including ourselves, there are many varying degrees of energy—or force. These aspects of reality are manifestations of the Unknowable, and information about them is the only kind of knowledge human beings can obtain or ought to see. #RandolphHarris 6 of 14
It is clear that knowledge, for human beings, is not a study of the Unknowable but rather of the manifestations of the Unknowable among phenomena. There are beginnings, middles (or periods of equilibrium), and ends; but all these processes take place in a finite space and a finite time. A person is born; one matures; one passes on, generally. Similarly, a society begins, reaches a stage of equilibrium, and is destroyed by something internal or external. All around us we can see the workings of the law of evolution and dissolution, but we can never know whether the Universe as a whole is undergoing this process. Feelings, too, arise through evolution. Life seeks to survive, and feelings of pleasure are necessary to sustain this urge. If the organism experiences no rewards for maintaining its own life and reproducing its kind, if there were no sense of accomplishment, then the urge to survive might easily be extinguished. Therefore, behavior that contributes to survival is accompanied by the feeling of pleasure, and behavior that endangers survival is accompanied by the feeling of pain. #RandolphHarris 7 of 14
Similarly, feelings of sociality and sympathy developed in human beings because in the struggle for survival people came to recognize that human cooperation is necessary, and the pleasures that accrue to the feeling of sociality were the rewards that guaranteed the continuation of such cooperation. The development of the feelings of sociality and sympathy led to the emergence of a new kind of entity, society, which is the subject of sociology and ethics. Here, too, the principle of evolution holds. Society, like other organisms, has its period of infancy, of maturity, and death. Therefore, strive to possess yourself of what you have inherited from your ancestors. The problem would appear more difficult if we could admit that they leave no traces whatsoever behind them. However, our memories are colored by emotions, judgments, and quirks of personality. What we remember depends on what we pay attention to, what we regard as meaningful or important, and what we feel strongly about. Memory structure is that pattern of associations among items of information stored in the memory. #RandolphHarris 8 of 14
I stumbled on this photograph, it kind of made me laugh, it took me way back, back down memory lane. I see the happiness, I see the pain where I am. I see us standing there, such a happy pair. Love beyond compare. The way you held me. No one could tell me that love would die. Why, oh why did I have to find this photograph? Gaps in memory, which are common, may be filled in by logic, guessing, or new information. Indeed, it is possible to have memories for things that never happened (such as remembering broken glass at an accident when there was none). People with pseudo memories (false memories) are often quite upset to learn they have given false testimony. A filmed automobile accident was showed to people. Afterwards, some participants were asked to estimate how fast the cars were going when they smashed into each other. For others the words bumped, contacted, or hit replaces smashed. One week later, each person was asked, “Did you see any broken glass?” Those asked earlier about the cars that smashed into each other were more likely to say yes. (No broken glass was shown in the film.) The new information (smashed) was included in memories and altered them. #RandolphHarris 9 of 14
The updating of long-term memories is a common problem in police work. For example, a witness may select a photo of a suspect from police files or see a photo in the news. Later, the witness identifies the suspect in person (in a lineup or in court). Did the witness really remember the suspect from the scene of the crime? Or was it from the more recently seen photograph? Even an innocent person may be remembered as the criminal. It is quite possible for a photo to update or blend with the original memory. Many tragic cases of mistaken identity occur this way. Indeed, the fading of memories and the weak affect of impressions which are no longer recent, which we are apt to take as self-evident, and to explain as a primary effect of time on our psychic memory-residues, are in reality secondary changes brought about by laborious work. It is the preconscious that accomplishes this work. Networks of associated memories may help explain a common experience: Imagine finding a picture taken on your sixth birthday or tenth Christmas. As you look at the photo, one memory leads to another, which leads to another, and another. Soon you have unleashed a flood of seemingly forgotten details. This process is called redintegration. Redintegrative memories seem to spread through the branches of memory networks. #RandolphHarris 10 of 14
Many people find that such memories are also touched off by distinctive events from past—like a visit to Grandma’s kitchen, pleasant scents, going to the farm, the seashore, a doctor’s office, the perfume or after-shave of a former lover, and so on. The key idea in redintegration is that one memory serves as a cue to trigger another. As a result, an entire past experience may be reconstructed from one small recollection. Personally, I have had no real anxiety-dreams for a few months, but I do recall one. The dream was very vivid, and showed me my beloved mother, with a peculiarly calm, sleeping countenance, carried into the room and laid on the bed by two (or three) persons with birds’ beaks. I awoke crying and screaming, and disturbed my parents’ sleep. The peculiarly draped, excessively tall figures with beaks I had taken from the illustrations of the Philippson’s Bible. I believe they represented deities with the heads of sparrowhawks from an Egyptian tomb-relief. The analysis yielded, however, also the recollection of a house-porter’s boy, who used to play with us children on a meadow in front of the house; I might add that his name was Philip. #RandolphHarris 11 of 14
It seemed to me then that I first heard from this boy the vulgar word signifying sexual intercourse, which is replaced among educated persons by the Latin word coitus, but which the dream plainly enough indicates by the choice of the birds’ heads. I must have guessed the sexual significance of the word from the look of my Worldly-wise teacher. My mother’s expression in the dream was copied from the countenance of my grandfather, whom I had seen a few days before his death snoring in a state of coma. The interpretation of the secondary elaboration in the dream must therefore have been that my mother was dying; the tomb-relief, too, agrees with this. I awoke with this anxiety, and could not calm myself until I had waked my parents. I remember that I suddenly became calm when I saw my mother; it was as though I had needed the assurance: then she is not dead. However, this secondary interpretation of the dream had only taken place when the influence of the developed anxiety was ready at work. I was not in a state of anxiety because I had dreamt that my mother was dying; I interpreted the dream in this manner in the preconscious elaboration because I was already under the domination of anxiety. #RandolphHarris 12 of 14
The latter, however, could be traced back, through the repression to a dark, plainly disturbing period I had in my life, which had found appropriate expression in the visual content of the dream. It was a time when I felt like savage humans were trying to break up my family, and take the only people who cared about me in the World away, and then do away with me. As I grow up, and I think most adults are the same, they fear losing their parents and siblings because you have known them all of your life and that is all you have in this World. And while after you lose a parent, you can still feel their presence and sense them looking over you, but that sense of communication in the physical World is gone and that means so much. People spend so much time on social media, but think about it this way. What if someone took away everyone you care about in your life and replaced them with social media profiles and pictures and videos was your new community and social circle, but never actually see them in person. You would feel isloated, incomplete, and alone. Do not let social media rob you of reality and life. We are only here on this planet for so long and once you lose someone you care about chances are you can never talk to them again. #RandolphHarris 13 of 14
Make more time for your family and spend time with the people you love. Ask your grandparents to recall vivid and important autobiographical memories and what do you get out of it? Up to a point, the results are like the memories of people at any age: Most recollections come from the 2 or 3 most recent years. Fewer and fewer autobiographical memories come from earlier years, tapering off back to childhood. However, something interesting occurs for older adults as they scan over a lifetime. If you tally their memories, you will find a bulge or bump in the curve between the ages of 10 and 30. In other words, many more memories come from this period than would be expected. Why do memories from this period of life stand out for older adults? Because memories formed during this time are encoded in ways that make them easier to retrieve later in life. Just why these years are so memorable is not known. However, if you are between the ages of 10 and 30, take note: These are the days, my friend. You know me. Every time you try to forget who I am, I will be right there to remind you again, you know me. Answer me when I call, God, defender of my cause; you set me free when I am hard-pressed; have mercy on me and hear my prayer. #RandolphHarris 14 of 14
A Charm against Yielding to Temptation
Things perceived as real are real in their effects. As from the direct light of the Sun to the borrowed light of the moon, we pass from the immediate idea of perception, which stands by itself and is its own warrant, to reflection, to the abstract, discursive concepts of the reason, which obtain their whole content from knowledge of perception, and in relation to it. As long as we continue simply to perceive, all is clear, firm, and certain. There are neither questions nor doubts nor errors; we desire to go no further, can go no further; we find rest in perceiving, and satisfaction in the present. Perception suffices for itself, and therefore what springs purely from it, and remains true to it, for example, a genuine work of art, can never be false, nor can it be discredited through a lapse of time, for it does not present an opinion but the thing itself. However, with abstract knowledge, with reason, doubt and error appearing in the theoretical, care and sorrow in the practical, illusion may at moments take the place of the real. Chance actions differ from erroneously carried-out actions only in that they disdain the support of a conscious intention and really need no pretext. They appear independently and are accepted because one does not credit them with any aim or purpose. #RandolphHarris 1 of 11
In the sphere of abstract thought, error may reign for a thousand years, impose its yoke upon whole nations, extend to the noblest impulses of humanity, and, by the help of its slaves and its dupes, may chain and fetter those whom it cannot deceive. We execute them without thinking anything of them, by mere chance, just to keep the hands busy, and we feel confident that such information will be quite sufficient should one inquire as to their significance. In order to enjoy the advantage of this exception position, these actions which no longer claim awkwardness as an excuse must fulfill certain conditions: they must not be striking, and their effects must be insignificant. It is the enemy against which the wisest people of all times have waged unequal war, and only what they have won from it has become the possession of humankind. Culture is constantly threatened by a relapse into barbarism and disorder that would make history sheer meaningless succession. Against perpetual decadence people struggles heroically to establish limited zones of law, order, and cultural significance. To succeed is this for a time, they must do violence to their own natures by imposing on themselves a hard discipline and accepting moral isolation amid their mediocre fellows. #RandolphHarris 2 of 11
This means living in conformity to the ethic of the producers and seeing the good life to be a cooperative creative enterprise carried on in a self-reliant spirit. Against the good things to be obtained rather than a way of acting. In the consumers’ view typical goods are welfare, prosperity, distributive justice, and the classless society, things to be aimed at for the future and enjoyed if secured. Enterprises undertaken in that spirit were based on envy and inevitably fell under the control of adventure (usually intellectuals) who duped the masses. Such instances are citizens revolting, peasant wars, anti-Semitism, and contemporary welfare-state socialism. It has often been said that we ought to follow the truth even although no utility can be seen in it, because it may have indirect utility which may appear when it is least expected; and I would add to this, that we ought to be just as anxious to discover and to root out all error even when no harm is anticipated from it, because its mischief may be very indirect, and may suddenly appear when we do not expect it, for all error has poison at its heart. #RandolphHarris 3 of 11
The symbolism in the infantile life of the normal plays a greater role than was expected psychoanalytic experiences. A doctor, on rearranging his furniture in a new house, came across a straight, wooden stethoscope, and, after pausing to decide where he should put it, was impelled to place it on the side of his writing-desk in such a position that it stood exactly between his chair and the one reserved for his patients. This act in itself was certainly odd, for in the place, the straight stethoscope served no purpose as he invariably used a binaural one; and in the second place, all his medical apparatus and instruments were always kept in drawers, with the sole exception of this one. However, he gave no thought to the matter until one day, it was brought to his notice by a patient who had never seen a wooden stethoscope, asking him what it was. On being told, she asked him why he kept it there. He answered in an offhand way that that place was good as any other. This, however, started him thinking, and he wondered whether there had been an unconscious motive in this action. Being interested in the psychanalytic method, he asked me to investigate the matter. #RandolphHarris 4 of 11
The first memory that occurred to him was the fact when a medical student, he has been struck by the habit his hospital interne had of always carrying a wooden stethoscope in his hand on his ward visits, although he never used it. He greatly admired this interne, and was much attached to him. Later on, when he himself became an interne, he contracted the same habit, and would feel very uncomfortable if by mistake he left the room without having the instrument to swing in his hand. The aimless of the habit was shown, not only by the fact that the only stethoscope he every used was a binaural one, which he carried in his pocket, but also in that it was continued when he was a surgical interne and never needed the stethoscope at all. From this, it was evident that the idea of the instrument in question had in some way or other become invested with a greater psychic significance than normally belonged to it—in other words, that to the subject it stood for more than it does for other people. The idea must have become unconsciously associated with some other one which it symbolized, and from which it derived its additional fullness of meaning. #RandolphHarris 5 of 11
I will forestall the rest of the analysis by saying what this secondary idea was—namely, a phallic one; the way in which this curious association had been formed will presently be related. The discomfort he experienced in hospital on missing the instrument, and the relief and assurance the presence of it gave him, was related to what is known as a castration complex—namely, a childhood fear, often continued in a disguise form into adult life, lest a private part of his body should be taken away from him, just as playthings so often were. The fear was due to paternal threats that it would be cut off if he were not a good boy, particularly in a certain direction. This is a very common complex, and accounts for a great deal of general nervousness ad lack of confidence in later years. The stethoscope association was formed through many connections. In the first place, the physical appearance of the instrument—a straight, rigid, hollow tube, having a small bulbous summit at one extremity and a broad base at the other—and the fact of its being the essential part of the medical paraphernalia, the instrument with which the doctor performed his magical and interesting feats, were matters that attached his boyish attention. #RandolphHarris 6 of 11
He had had his chest repeatedly examined by the doctor at the age of six, and distinctly recollected the voluptuous sensation of feeling the latter’s head near him pressing the wooden stethoscope into his hat; he found it interesting that the doctor should carry his chief instrument concealed about his person, always handy when he went to see patients, and that he only had to take off his hat (i.e., a part of his clothing) and pull it out. At the age of eight, he was impressed by being told by an older boy that it was the doctor, who was young and handsome, was extremely popular among the women of the neighborhood, including the subject’s own mother. The doctor and his instrument were therefore the objects of great interest throughout his boyhood. Probably because the boy also wanted to be popular as an adult. It is probable that, as in many other cases, unconscious identification with the family doctor had been a main motive in determining the subject’s choice of profession. It was here doubly conditioned by the superiority on certain interesting occasions of the doctor to the father, of whom the subject was very jealous, and by the doctor’s knowledge of forbidden topics and his opportunity for illicit indulgence. #RandolphHarris 7 of 11
The subject admitted that he had on several occasions experienced erotic temptations in regard to his women patients; he had twice fallen in love with one, and finally had married one. This shows that the way a lot of adults act and the things they do, are behaviors they learned in their childhood, which appear to be enjoyable or pleasurable to them and they want to do these things to others when adults. For me as a boy, when I would visit my doctor, Dr. Ezekiel, would have Gold Dial soap in his office and when I would wash my hands I remembered how good it smelled, and if a doctor used it, it must be good stuff. So, that Gold Dial is the only hand and bath soap I used because I want to smell good like Dr. Ezekiel. Also, as a child growing up, we lived in a nice suburban community where everything was new and clean and nice and quiet, and everyone had jobs, and so that is what kind of life style I want for my adult life. When people ask me about what I like most about being a son, I always reply, “Everything.” And even when talking to my parents now I try to conceal my true feelings at times and say something pleasant. #RandolphHarris 8 of 11
Like, if I do not like someone and do not want to go to their party and my parents ask me about it, I will say something like, “I am very excited about the party, but I am busy that day. I am sure they will have good company and food as always.” Sometimes, however, I feel like I try too hard to be nice and pleasant and it really takes a lot of energy. I am more of a person who likes to be quiet, mind my own business and keep to myself, but when living in a city and not the suburbs, it requires one to be more social. Now back to the subject, the next memory he has was of a dream, plainly of a homosexual-masochistic nature; in it a man, who proved to be a replacement figure of the family doctor, attacked the subject with a sword. The idea of a sword, as is so frequently the case in dreams, represented the same idea as mentioned above to be associated with that of a wooden stethoscope. The thought of a sword reminded the subject of the passage in the Nibelung Saga, where Sigurd sleeps with his naked sword (Gram) between him and Brunilda, an incident that had always greatly struck his imagination. #RandolphHarris 9 of 11
The meaning of the symptomatic act now at last become clear. The subject had placed his wooden stethoscope between him and his patients, just as Sigurd had placed his sword (an equivalent symbol) between him and the maiden he was not to touch. The great act was a compromise-formation; it served both to gratify in his imagination the repressed wish to enter into nearer relations with an attractive patient (interposition of phallus), and at the same time, to remind him that this wish was not to become a reality (interposition of sword). It was, so to speak, a charm against yielding to temptation. I might add that the following passage from Lord Lytton’s Richelieu made a great impression on the boy: “Beneath the rule of men entirely great, the pen is mightier than the sword. I wear my pen as others do their sword,” and that he became a prolific writer and uses an unusually large fountain pen. When I asked him what need he had of this pen, he replied in a characteristic manner, “I have so much to express.” We all live in different psychological Worlds, there is no correct view of a life situation. #RandolphHarris 10 of 11
A person who feels that his or her view of a life situation has been understood feels freer to examine it objectively and to question it. (Accepting and understanding the perspective of another person can be especially difficult when cultural differences exist.) Heavenly Father, you have filled the World with beauty: Open our eyes to behold your gracious hands in all your works; that rejoicing in your whole creation, we may learn to serve you with gladness; for the sake of the one through whom all things were made. May we commend to your fatherly goodness all those who are in any ways afflicted or distressed, in mind, body, or estate; [especially those whom our prayers are desired]; that it may please you to comfort and relieve them according to their several necessities, giving them patience under their sufferings, and a happy issue out of their afflictions. God, you made us in your own image and redeemed us through Jesus Christ, your Son: Look with compassion on the whole human family; take away the ignorance and arrogance and hatred which infects our hearts; break down the walls that separate us; unite us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and confusion to accomplish your purpose on Earth. #RandolphHarris 11 of 11
The World is My Idea—I Gave My Heart to Thee
The World is my idea—this is a truth which holds good for everything that lives and knows, though human beings alone can bring into reflective and abstract consciousness. A useful approach is to let the love for God replace the willfulness that is driving the seeking. One can release all desire to seek and realize that the thought that there is anything else but God is a baseless vanity. It can be seen that both the body and the mind are the result of the innumerable conditions of the Universe and that one is at best the witness of this concordance. Out of an unrestricted love for God arises the willingness to surrender all motives, and expect to serve God completely. If one really does this, he or she has attained to philosophical wisdom. It then becomes clear and certain to that individual that what one knows is not a Sun and an Earth, but only eyes that sees a Sun, hands that feels an Earth; that the World which surrounds us is there only as an idea, i.e., only in relation to something else, the consciousness, which is oneself. If any truth can be asserted a priori, it is this: for it is the expression of the most general form of all possible and thinkable experience: a form which is more general than time, or space, or causality, for they all presuppose it. #RandolphHarris 1 of 14
Time, space, and causality, which we have seen to be just so many modes of the principle of sufficient reason, is valid only for a particular class of ideas; whereas the antithesis of object and subject is the common form of all these classes, is that form under which alone any idea of whatever kind it may be, abstract or intuitive, pure or empirical, is possible and thinkable. No truth therefore is more certain, more independent of all others, and less in need of proof than this, that all that exists for knowledge, and therefore this World, is only object in relation to subject, perception of a perceiver, in a word, idea. This is obviously true of the past and the future, as well as of the present, of what is farthest off, as of what is near; for it is true of time and space themselves, in which alone these distinctions arise. All that in any way belongs or can belong to the World is inevitably thus conditioned through the subject. The World is idea. I have noticed in the course of our psychoanalytical work that the psychological state of an individual in attitude of reflection is entirely different from that of a person who is observing the psychic processes. Light is a great enemy to mystery, and mystery is a great friend to enthusiasm. #RandolphHarris 2 of 14
It is curious to imagine people of the World, busy in thought, turning their eyes towards the countless sphere that shine above us, and making them reflect only images their minds contain. In reflection, there is a greater play of psychic activity than in the most attentive self-observation; this is shown even by the tense attitude and the wrinkled brow of the individual in a state of reflection, as opposed to the mimic tranquility of the person observing. In both cases, there must be concentrated attention, but the reflective person makes use of their critical faculties, with the result that one rejects some of the thoughts which rise into consciousness after one has become aware of them, and abruptly interrupts others, so that one does not follow the lines of thought which they would have otherwise open up for the individual; while in respect of yet other thoughts one is able to behave in such a manner that they do not become conscious at all—that is to say, they are suppressed before they are perceived. In self-observation, on the other hand, one has but one task—that of suppressing criticism; if one succeeds in doing this, an unlimited number of thoughts enter one’s consciousness which would otherwise have eluded one’s grasp. #RandolphHarris 3 of 14
We cannot deny the existence of matter, that is, of solidity, impenetrability, and extended figure (to deny which would be lunacy), but in correcting the popular notion of it, and in contending that is has no essence independent of mental perception; that existence and perceptibility are convertible terms. These words adequately express the compatibility of empirical reality and transcendental ideality. With the assistance of the material thus obtained—material which is new to the self-observer—it is possible to achieve the interpretation of pathological ideas, and also that of dream-formations. As will be seen, the point is to induce a psychic state which is in some degree analogous, as regards the distribution of psychic energy (mobile attention), to the state of the mind before falling asleep—and also, of course, to the hypnotic state. On falling asleep, the undesired ideas emerge, owing to the slackening of certain arbitrary (and, of course, also critical) action, which is allowed to influence the trend of our ideas; we are accustomed to speak of fatigue as the reason of this slackening; the emerging undesired ideas are changed into visual and auditory images. The inward reluctance with which any one accepts the World as merely one’s idea, warns one that this view of it, however true it may be, is nevertheless one-sided, adopted in consequence of some arbitrary abstractions. #RandolphHarris 4 of 14
In the condition which it utilized for the analysis of dreams and pathological ideas, this activity is purposely and deliberately renounced, and the psychic energy thus saved (or some part of it) is employed in attentively tracking the undesired thoughts which now come to the surface—thoughts which retain their identity as ideas (in which the condition differs from the state of falling asleep). Undesired ideas are thus changed into desired ones. And yet, it is a conception from which one cannot free oneself. There are many people who do not seem to find it easy to adopt the required attitude toward the apparently freely rising ideas, and to renounce the criticism which is otherwise applied to them. The undesired ideas habitually evoke the most violent resistance, which seems to prevent them from coming to the surface. However, the essential condition of poetical creation includes a very similar attitude. If you complain of a lack of creative power, the reason for your complaint lies, it seems to me in the constraint which your intellect imposes upon your imagination. Apparently, it is not good—and indeed it hinders the creative work of the mind—if the intellect examines too closely the ideas already pouring in, as it were, at the gates. #RandolphHarris 5 of 14
Regarded in isolation, an idea may be quite insignificant, and venturesome in the extreme, but it may acquire importance from an idea which follows it; perhaps, in a certain collocation with other ideas, which may seem equally absurd, it may be capable of furnishing a very serviceable link. The intellect cannot judge all these ideas unless it can retain them until it has considered them in connection with these other ideas. In the case of a creative mind, it seems to me, the intellect has withdrawn its watchers from the gates, and the ideas rush in pell-mell, and only then does it review and inspect the multitude. You worthy critics, or whatever you may call yourselves, are ashamed or afraid of the momentary and passing madness which is found in all real creators, the longer or shorter duration of which distinguishes the thinking artist from the dreamer. Hence your complaints are of unacomplished aspirations, for you reject too soon and discriminate too severely. And yet, such a withdrawal of the watchers from the gates of the intellect, such a translation into the condition of uncritical self-observation is by no means difficult. #RandolphHarris 6 of 14
Most of my patients accomplish it after my first instruction. I myself can do so very completely, if I assist the process by writing down the ideas that can flash through my mind. The quantum of psychic energy by which the critical activity is thus reduced, and by which the intensity of self-observation may be increased, varies considerably according to the subject-matter upon which the attention is to be fixed. The theme to which these point is, of course, always the history of the malady that is responsible for the neurosis. Pay attention to what occurs to you in connection to your dream, and interpret the details, not the mass; like this, it conceives the dream, for the outset, as something built up, as a conglomerate of psychic formations. While overcrowding and pollution rank high on the list of environmental stresses, they are only two of the many challenges that press for attention. Let us sample some of the solutions that psychologist have provided for environmental problems. Many problems that we are seeing arise is urban fears. The way people think about the environment greatly affect their behavior. Mental maps of various areas, for instance, often guide actions and alter decisions. A case in point is a study done in Sacramento, California USA. #RandolphHarris 7 of 14
In Sacramento, California USA, researchers found that an existing school bus route contributed to truancy. The problem was that many of its stops were where children where afraid of being attacked and beaten. The solution was that by doing an environmental assessment, psychologist developed a picture of environments as they are perceived by the people using them. An assessment often includes such things as charting areas of highest use in buildings, using attitude scales to measure reactions to various settings (such as school, businesses, and parks) and even having people draw a version of their cognitive map of a building, campus, or city. In the case of the school children, residents of the neighborhood were asked to rate how much stress they felt when walking in various areas. The result was a contour map (somewhat like a high- and low-pressure weather map) that showed the areas of highest perceived stress. This stress map was then used to reroute school buses to low-pressure areas. Cause and effect thus constitute the whole nature of matter; its true being is this action. This relation is no conclusion in abstract conceptions; it does not arise from reflection, nor is it arbitrary, but immediate, necessary, and certain. #RandolphHarris 8 of 14
When the children had been tested, prior to rerouting the school buses, the test showed that the noise they were facing was quite damaging. Children from the noisy schools were compared with similar students attending schools farther from the disturbances. These comparison students were from families of comparable social and economic makeup. Testing showed that children attending noisy schools had higher blood pressure than those from quieter schools. They were more likely to give up attempts to solve a difficult puzzles. And they were poorer at proofreading a printed paragraph—a task that requires close attention and concentration. A recent study of children living near a fairly new airport in Munich, Germany, found similar damaging effects. The greater tendency of the noisy-school children to give up or become distracted creates a serious and unnatural intellectual disability, which can be corrected by a reduction of external threats and noise pollution. This situation may even reveal a state of learned helplessness caused by daily, uncontrollable blasts of sound. Even if such damage proves to be temporary, it is clear that noise pollution (annoying and intrusive noise) is a major source of environmental stress for children, adults, nature, and pets. #RandolphHarris 9 of 14
Researchers have linked noise with impaired learning ability, less tolerance for frustration, and a reduced willingness to help others. A major finding of environmental research is that much of our behavior is controlled, in part, by specific types of environments. Society is an aggregate of interacting individuals whose relations are governed by role-confronting rules and practices which give their actions their characteristic significance. Moreover, communities seem to have a lifespan greater than that of any generation of individual members, which cannot be explained, as might that of a corporation, by the continuities of constitutional procedures. It is, rather, that from generation to generation there passes an attachment to a common set of symbols and a common history, a participation in a collective representation in a collective consciousness—a common culture, in short—which enables members to identify one another where other criteria are uncertain, which gives the society its cohesion, and which provides the standards by which its members’ actions are regulated and assessed. Boundary maintenance is a necessity for every society. #RandolphHarris 10 of 14
To possess an identity, a society must furnish criteria whereby its members can identity one another, since their actions and attitudes toward one another will be different from those toward outsiders. Society’s existences depend so crucially on commitment to common values and collective components that the political boundary tends to settle automatically the limits of the society. People have talked of the society to which they belong, they have thought primarily of the social order contained within the boundaries of a state and sustained by its organized power. Our notion of a society as the most inclusive framework of social interaction depends on the political not only for its boundary maintenance but also for its very identity. There may be a danger that pressing the antitotalitarian, pluralistic account so far that it dissolves the state, it will lose thereby its capacity to define the society. We cannot tax our way out of problems either. So many people are worried about their retirements because the rents are going up so high, cities becoming overpopulated and democrats spent all the Social Security money, so we had to sell the post office to pay the rent on the White House. #RandolphHarris 11 of 14
The California bag ban, which requires stores to stop including the price of bags with the food, but to charge the consumers an extra fee per bag, was a tax disguised as an environmental protection project, and has killed more than 2,000 manufacturing jobs, slowed down lines at grocery stories, which reduced productivity, and it has also eliminated the jobs of the people who bag your food and help you push your cart out to your car. Not only that, but the bags are thicker, and more harmful to the environment and wildlife. And many people get back to the house and find they have squashed their bread, broken their eggs, or spilled shampoo all over the meat by trying to force more than they should into into a bag. People who are trained to package your food know how to properly distribute the amount and types of food per bag, and have it down to a science, where consumers do not. Also because bags are an option, people are now going into stores a wheeling out carts loaded with goods and not being immediately detected, which is causing store to reduce hours, services, and cut back on jobs to offset cost, and charging consumers more for items to make up for lost revenue. In addition, people who buy food on credit cards, at the end of the year, end up possibly spending hundreds of dollars on plastic bags for their food. Then the cigarette tax in California, comes at a time when the state makes the cultivation, sale and distribution of marijuana legal, in hopes that people will not spend $10.00 on a pack of cigarettes, but instead buy some weed, get high, and forget that they are going broke. Just puff on a joint all day long. #RandolphHarris 12 of 14
We do not want people smoking marijuana, and I cannot even believe the state of California would make it legal for recreational use. People walk down the streets getting high and you and your kids are stuck behind them and getting contact high. Marijuana alters your state of mind and is a dangerous controlled substance, which the federal government still deems as illegal. Then, it was pretty much a law that all liquor had to be carried out the stores in bags, so that kids would not see it and be influenced to drink. However, with the bag ban, people are now walking around sucking on cans of Colt 45, pints of vodka, and jugs of Carlos Rossi. The concept of community in California is getting lost, and being replaced by a model of conflicting pressure groups operating within a very nebulously defined area. A civil society has social organization including the market economy and the forces of civil order, and realizes the ethical ideas and ethical spirit. Under leadership of Governor Jerry Brown, the rifts developed in the social fabric are an effort to keep people in ignorance. Idols and sources of delusions set forth in California, and as rationalists, we need to unmask these ideologies. The reality would offer a different face in society. Under Jerry Brown, no one has stopped to see how these circumstances have influenced social forces on the human mind. We need a superstructure, which is the starting point in the development of the modern society of knowledge. #RandolphHarris 13 of 14
It is not our consciousness which determines our existence, but on the contrary our social existence which determines our consciousness. Be wary of false preachers who smile a lot, dripping with practiced sincerity. Chances are they out to rip you off some way or another. Do not be impressed with charisma; look for character. Who preachers are is the main thing, not what they say. A genuine leader will never exploit your emotions or finances. People who are insincere are not good and will be punished by God. Infinitely merciful God, most tender Father of souls, and in a particular way, you carry with special tenderness between your divine arms, I come to you and ask you, through love and merits of your sacred heart the grace to comprehend and to do always your holy will, the grace to confide in you, the grace to rest securely through time and eternity in your loving divine arms. If life be harder, love makes it also stronger, and only this love can be blessed a thousand times. I believe in you Lord, and strengthen my faith. I give my heart to thee and I so enclose it in thee that it may never be separated from thee. I am all thine, and take care of my promise. It is time to restore sanity, justice, and to do your fair share, obey the laws and practice righteousness. #RandolphHarris 14 of 14
On Predicting Our Future—I Do Not Want to Have a Beer with Him
I came in the World cryin’ and fussin’. We had nothin’. Every ghetto I know is the same. Once I am on top, I am never going to stop. It is impossible to gaze always upon a lovely countenance with equal admiration, for the sense becoming saturated, the heart requires something more—something to interest, to delight, to fix beyond the moment. Take a moment to make a list of your closet friends. What do they have in common (other than the joy of knowing you)? It is likely that most are similar to you in age and the same gender and race as you. There will be exceptions, of course. However, similarity on these three dimensions is the general rule for friendships. Nevertheless, sometimes things are so little different one from another, that there is no making pleasure out of anything, so sometimes people expand their circle of friends to include people from other cultures and genders. The most important thing about friendship is that it is an idle title of a thing, which cannot be where virtue is not established. People have a need to affiliate (a desire to associate with other people) and it is a basic human trait. This is probably because affiliation helps us meet needs for approval, support, friendship, and information. We also seek company to alleviate fear or anxiety. #RandolphHarris 1 of 11
What is the secret mesmerism which friendship possess, and under the operation of which a person ordinarily sluggish, or cold, or timid, become wise, active, and resolute, in another’s behalf? Beautiful people tend to be rated as more appealing than those of average age appearance. This is due, in part, to the halo effect (a tendency to generalize a favorable impression to unrelated personal characteristics). Because of it, we assume that attractive people are also likeable, intelligent, warm, witty, mentally healthy, and socially skilled. Basically, we act as if what is beautiful is good. Physical beauty can be socially advantageous. However, physical beauty is generally unrelated to actual personal traits and talents, and in reality, physical attractiveness has almost no connection to intelligence, talents, or abilities. Overall, good-looking people are less lonely, less socially anxious, more popular, more socially skilled than unattractive people. Does that seem shallow? If so, it may be reassuring to know that beauty mainly affects initial acquaintance. Later, more substantial personal qualities become important. #RandolphHarris 2 of 11
Still, in the Ricki Lake culture of the 1990s, when gushing out one’s insecurities and body shaming became popular as a tool to use against people who are naturally thin, people who were uncomfortable with their size began to lash out against others who were considered traditionally beautiful and privileged, and because these instigators had been demonized for so long, if the traditionally beautiful person responded, people would gang up on them and call them names and make that individual feel bad about being thin and beautiful, like the image that is so accepted by the fashion industry. So basically, people who felt undesirable inside, might be overweight, or have thinning hair, or did not like themselves for whatever reason, had a license for revenge, they got to go out and take out all their frustrations on people they were jealous of without any retaliation. And because some people who are considered traditionally beautiful are really nice and find all types of people attractive and valuable, they could not respond because in hurting that person for attacking them, they knew that they would be also hurting themselves and their friends, so it made these traditionally beautiful people feel shamed for being thin, pretty or handsome, and they started feeling like rejects. #RandolphHarris 3 of 11
As a result, more people started turning to suicide because they felt bad for being who they were and could not respond. People would shout things at them like, “Go eat a burger, b*tch,” and think it was funny, and because Americans tend to be more heavy set than most of the World, that culture became acceptable. To make thicker people feel more socially acceptable, people started to shame the thin and beautiful. Art may disguise complexions, but never improve them. Similarity refers to the extent to which two people are alike in background, age, interest, attitudes, beliefs, and so forth. Social psychologists have repeatedly found that similar people are attracted to each other. And why not? It is reinforcing to see our beliefs and attitudes shared by others. It shows we are “right” and reveals that they are clever people as well. So eventually, hordes of people who felt like social rejects, even after plastic surgery, buying wigs, or wearing makeup, felt good about teaming up and harassing people who seemed to have it all. And when the witch hunters got into positions of power, they collectively, and systematically started harassing and terrorizing these individuals they did not like, to try and make them believe that they were cursed and would be better off dead and that even God was against them and that is why they had so much bad luck. One professor even told a student that suicide was probably his best option. #RandolphHarris 4 of 11
God, send me a friend that may tell me of my faults: if not, any enemy, and he will. There are friendships which are only bottle-deep. How do people who are not yet friends learn if they are similar? Through self-disclosure. Our friendships and intimacies are only calculated for strong life and health. Forming a group to terrorize someone is really not a great option to being accepted. However, getting to know others requires a willingness to talk about more than just the weather, sports, or nuclear physics. At some point, you must begin to share private thoughts and feelings and reveal yourself to others. Such self-disclosure is essential for developing close relationships. A lack of self-disclosure, as noted above, is associated with anxiety, unhappiness, and loneliness. We more often reveal ourselves to persons we like than to those we find unattractive (physically or mentally). Disclosure also requires a degree of trust. Many people play it safe or “close to the vest,” with people they do not know well. Indeed, self-disclosure is governed by definite norms about what is acceptable. For instance, if you sit next to a boy you think it cute in math, you might start off by saying, “I hope this class is not too difficult.” Moderate self-disclosure leads to reciprocity (a return in kind). #RandolphHarris 5 of 11
Young men of open, generous dispositions are naturally inclined to gallantry, which, if they have good understandings, exerts itself in an obliging complacent behavior to all women in general. Overdisclosure is self-disclosure that exceeds what is appropriate for a relationship or social situation. For example, imagine standing in a line at a supermarket and having a stranger in front of you say, “Lately, I do not know how I feel about Black people. I think I am pretty well adjusted, but occasionally I have some questions about them advancing in society and wonder if they are sharing their wealth with their family?” When self-disclosure proceeds at a moderate pace, it is accompanied by growing trust and intimacy. When it is too rapid or inappropriate, we are likely to back off and wonder about the person’s motives. Thus, as friends talk, they influence each other in ways that gradually deepen the level of likening, trust, and self-disclosure. Gambling requires as much coolness as the most austere school of philosophy. Women and men display an interesting difference in patterns of self-disclosure. To carry on two controversies at the same time is favorable to neither. #RandolphHarris 6 of 11
Two male friends share lunch at a restaurant. In the next hour they talk about sports, cars, sport cars, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, sports, cars, and basketball. (Did I mention sports and cars?) Jill, who sat at a nearby table overheard the entire conversation. Here is her summary of what the men said to each other: “All they talked about was cars and sports and beautiful women.” In North American culture, most male friendships are activity based. That is, men tend to do things together—a pattern that provides companionship without closeness. You know, going to the mall means going to the mall, not drive me to some dark, secluded location and start feeling on me. Having a drink and shooting pool, means playing sports and not getting me plastered or pressuring me into drinking so I am unaware of what is going on. Increasingly, homosexual men are not attracted to other homosexual men, they want a guy who seems like a traditional father, fraternity guy, or a nerd. And so these guys are often preyed on by men, who they think genuinely want a friendship, but actually have ulterior motives. I was watching a documentary, and the author says that guys who are negative and not into drugs have to be very careful. Because sometimes party boys will pick up on them and take them to a club and turn them out. #RandolphHarris 7 of 11
It is especially dangerous to take an unsuspecting man, or boy out of his element because they are used to having a drink meaning having a drink, not let me spike your drink and have my way with you while you are unconscious and unable to consent because you will not report it. And sometimes people will get them hooked on drugs and some of these people have terminal illnesses and in their manic party phase, they lose their inhibition, may forget and get you sick in the process. So, in modern times, you have to be very careful with gendered friendship, the day next door type, may secretly be a homosexual male trying to turn you out. People usually want what they cannot have and that is why they come at you sideways or use ulterior motives. I think more men, especially in World Class Cities are catching on to what coming over for a beer means to some guys. I was talking to a guy and he told me to be careful about drinking with guys around here. And I heard another guy recently defending, to his girlfriend, why he did not want to go out with his guy friend, without going into details. When his lady asked him, “Why not?” He replied, “It is not that I do not like him, I just do not want to have a drink with him,” and I knew exactly what he meant. (I do not trust him and I am not about that party and pleasure lifestyle.) #RandolphHarris 8 of 11
The face of gay men is changing and their modus operandi (distinct pattern or method of operation that indicates or suggests the work of a single criminal in more than one crime) is changing. Not all gay men are open about their sexuality, and you might think some guys are just nice and want to be your friend, but they may be trying to get over on you. So, you have to be cautious when it comes to drinking with the guys and make sure you really know these guys. A lot of people grew up in good communities with family values, but times are changing. This is not the days of Archie Bunker, where having a beer meant having a beer and people openly discussed their feelings about culture. True bigots often hide in places where you least expect them, and will pretend to be neutral. When it comes to women, in many cases, the friendships of women are more often based on shared feelings and confidences. If two female friends spent an afternoon together and did not reveal problems, private thoughts, and feelings to one another, they would assume that something was wrong. For women, friendship is a matter of talking about shared concerns and intimate matters. Actually, the differences between male and female friendships are smaller than implied here. Men do know something about the private thoughts and feelings of their friends. #RandolphHarris 9 of 11
Often times, people assume they know you and have ideas about who you are and could be wrong. A lot of people think because men are nice and smile and do not speak up about things that they are slow, but they actually may not really like you and just be trying to avoid you and any conflict. Nevertheless, most contemporary men do not form close friendships with other men. Many could probably learn something from female friendships: Men live their friendships side by side; women live them face to face. Decision does not give one knowledge of anything that will occur in the future because the mere fact that a person has decided does not ensure that he or she will not falter, change one’s mind, or die tomorrow. Hence, it appears to be mistake to assume that because decision entails ignorance prior to decision, this ignorance is of something which one will know later as a result of decision; what one comes to know when one decides is nothing in addition to the decision itself appears to be that decision is an intentional concept. #RandolphHarris 10 of 11
“I really wanted it. I really wanted it. I was being the Wander Slut in those days. I kept a list on my computer of all the people I seduced. I seduced Randall. He nearly shot himself on account of it. It was perfectly disgusting.” I already got some designer to hold up my pants, I just want some ice on my wrist so I look better when I dance, have you lookin’ at it put you in a trance. Lord, may nothing separate me from you. Teach me how to choose only your way so each step will lead me closer to you. Help me to keep my heart pure and undivided. Protect me from my own careless thoughts, words, and actions and the Devil and his red hot pitch forks so they do not try and stick them in my hiney. And help me rest in the truth. And keep me from being distracted by my thoughts, desires and ideas how things should be. Help me to embrace what comes my way as opportunity. God, you are my rock and my fortress. You are my shield and my strong tower. Teach me how to stand strong and choose only your way. Thank you that you love me and nothing can every take that away from me! Thank you Father in Heaven. #RandolphHarris 11 of 11
The Morning Star is the Evening Star
Life and the World around us is a painted veil, an illusion though which we penetrate to the reality behind. Religion and virtue seem in many respect to be so nearly related that they are generally presumed to be inseparable companions. We are so willing to think well of their union that we hardly allow it to be permissible to speak or even think of them separately. However, it may by questioned whether this attitude can be theoretically justified. We certainly do sometimes encounter cases that seem to go against this general supposition. We have known people who have the appearance of great zeal in religion, but have lacked even the common affections of humanity, and shown themselves extremely degenerate and corrupt. Others who have paid little regard to religion and been considered as mere atheists have been seen to practice the rules of morality and in many cases to act with such good meaning and affection towards humankind that one seems forced to admit that they are virtuous. In our everyday lives, our wiliness to have dealings with someone may depend on one’s answer to “What are his or her morals?” A person who is aware of the superior pleasures to be found in virtuous action will naturally prefer virtue to mere self-interest. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7
Our notions of God are projections of our own humor, as we are, so shall we think God to be. God must necessarily be good humored. However, we can never understand this quality unless we possess it ourselves. Hence, the necessity for permitting good humor in the discussion of religion. I give a lot of credence to the grace of God because much of what we do, in fact, more of what we do than we do not do has to do with our fortune and misfortune. And I think there are people who the miseducation has taken a greater toll on than me. And you know, but for the grace of God, I would have been confused about my identity. We cannot understand qualities of mind and character which we do not possess ourselves. The best foundation for rendering a just account of human nature is thorough knowledge of oneself. No one who knows oneself can possibly believe that all human action stem from selfish motives. God is a good-tempered, benevolent being who orders the World. Sincere the affection for virtue is natural, religion is unnecessary to its presence in us. However, theistic opinions about a benevolent God may reinforce the affection. Yet, so many the good example of others and rewards and punishment. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7
When religion and morality are separated, a selfish interest in one’s own welfare is not all that is left to provide a foundation for morality. There is more than accounting for the possibility of morality than a simple choice of religion. It is the function of both poetry and religion to provide people with a coherent view of the World that will help them understand both themselves and their fellow human beings, and to provide it in a form that will kindle the imagination as well as the intellect. The ultimate solution is a community small enough for each member to know the other members as individuals. Such intimate person knowledge will bring understanding and sympathy, so that people will be prepared to cooperate for the common good, without the coercion of law. People will indeed value their neighbors’ opinions, but they will not take their neighbors’ opinion on trust. To do so would be useless, because even a true opinion is of little value unless one understands the grounds for holding it. It is only when people see things as they are, in all their intricate interconnections, that they will feel the right emotions and thus lead happy and virtuous lives. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7
People see life as if through a veil—the veil of their own prejudices, which are imposed by social institutions. We must transcend their prejudices in order to understand and love our fellow humans. If we are to fear the wrath of God, then there must be some principle by which we regulate our fears. If we are to fear God’s blame, we must already know what is blame worthy. Nothing is blameworthy simply because it displeases God. God and human beings must share a sense of deformity which enables them to identify the morally odious. There is no divine monopoly here. Morality may arise independently of religion. Virtue is natural because human nature provides a foundation for virtue. Why should selfishness or self-interest be the only natural passion? Social feeling or sense of partnership with humankind may be natural. The social feeling must be natural, for how could there be society if this feeling did not exist first? If society is a set of conventional arrangements, then the existence of society implies the pre-existence of a disposition among people to make conventions. Thus, the selfish picture of human nature cannot be the whole story, for if selfishness were the only natural feeling, there would be no society. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7
What is more, since the existence of a social feeling is sufficient to account for the origin of society, appeals to the religious sanctions for society are necessarily subsequent to the actual foundation of society and therefore of secondary importance. Virtue is the pursuit of the public interest. There is no real love of virtue without the knowledge of public good. We are disposed to act virtuously by our affection for virtue. This affection for virtue is called the moral sense. This sense is like a harmony in music and a sense of proportion in architecture and art. In a creature capable of forming general notions of things, not only the outward beings which offer themselves to the sense are objects of the affection, but the very actions themselves and the affections of pity, kindness, gratitude, and their contraries, being brought into the minds by reflection become objects. So that by means of this reflected sense, there arise another kind of affection towards those very affections themselves, which have been already felt, and are now become the subject of a new liking or dislike. One way we evaluate ourselves is to compare ourselves to others and to our own ideal self-image. If an ideal image cannot be met, it may have to be discarded or revised, but this is not easy to do. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7
Once we remove the veil of unreality, the World will be seen as a unity—both in the sense in which science may be said to be a unity (the truth about one field of study cohering with and illuminating the truth about another), and in the sense that a true understanding of our fellow humans will give rise to virtuous behavior. This is the indestructible order that it is the business of poetry to reveal. We live surrounded by an infinite multitude of mysteries. For God, all things are possible, even what one may considered a logical absurdity, that is, causing what has in fact happened not to have happened. The fundamental property of life is daring; all life is creative daring and this an eternal mystery, irreducible to anything finished or intelligible. In human’s very existence, thought has discovered something improper, a defect, a sickness, or sin, and has demanded that this be overcome at its foundation by a renunciation of existence. Disclosure by talking seriously and honestly together on an equal level is the necessary condition for reducing the mystery that one person is for another. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7
We need to take better care of ourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually. Because the times that are coming up are going to be challenging times. Progress come both in the realization of the need for re-education and further in the re-education process itself. A good beginning to understanding and appreciating life fully is knowing that at some point it will end. Games prevent honest, intimate, and open relationships between the players. Yet people play them because they fill up time, provoke attention, reinforce early opinions about self and others, and fulfill a sense of destiny. We have to learn to make the time period between life’s only two certainties, birth and death meaningful and significant. Human beings place far too much stress upon defining the purpose in and of our lives. Our only purpose in life if purpose is needed, is to be what we are fully, vitally and in context of other people having the same right. We each need to find a purpose or goal in our existence but we should not dwell on it. People are known and respected for their commitment and dedication to the uplift of people. Each of us must know that others may try to push us down or disqualify us, but we will be able to fulfill our destinies. The rest of your life will be the best of your life. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7
Is the Sun of Blue Heaven Guilty of the Shadow it Casts?
The beauty and loveliness of friendship is too strong for dim eyes. The soul is form giving being to humans, and it assists in operation of the body and mind as a sailor presides over the operation of an already formed ship. It is important to control the mind, and for an individual to have a rapport with nature. God is identified with the regularity governing the World, and must be thought of as the essence or embodiment of regularity in general; as the totality of logical regularity, of natural laws, and of the laws of mental and spiritual life. All moral values disappear if God does not exist. Therefore, it is important for people to believe in God. Christ and his disciples through the ages have experienced the divine presence of God the loving Father and with it a sense of moral repentance and an inner energy of the spirit. As with all personal experience, no symbolic structure can act as substitute. Such structures are, in every field, merely hypothetical attempts to grasps experience. God lives in human’s consciousness. Before a new direction is sought, it is necessary to discern the error of the old and awaken a desire to transcend that error. This requires courage and fearless honesty. #RandolphHarris 1 of 10
The recovery from many serious and incurable, potentially fatal disorders is based on the willingness and capacity to face the truth and choose a different pathway. To break down denial and admit the truth takes one above the lower levels of humanity. Spiritual awakening is fostered by a desire for salvation and peace. The Human need for and experience of God’s presence proves his existence. Science and philosophy are masters of their own proper domain. Thus, God is the final reason of everything, but not necessarily the scientific explanation of anything. The idea of God is so embedded in the consciousness of human beings that we find some version of it in most legends. One knows but little of human nature who has not discovered that, to all who rise one step above the brutes, it is far pleasanter to starve and freeze after their own fashion than to be fed and clothes and worked upon compulsion. Friendship is a mighty pretty invention, and, next to love, gives of all things the greatest spirit to society. #RandolphHarris 2 of 10
We lie in nature very close to God; and though, further on, the stream may be corrupted by the banks it flows through; yet at the fountain’s rim, where humankind stand, there the stream infallibly bespeaks the fountain. Whatever the number of a person’s friends, there will be times in one’s life when one has too few; but if one has only one enemy, one is lucky indeed if one has not one too many. In life, however, it is sometimes difficult to say who does you the most mischief, enemies with the worst intentions, or friends with the best. Friendship is a passion. It entrances the being; it tears the soul. All loves of after life can never bring its rapture, or its wretchedness; no bliss so absorbing, no pangs of jealousy or despair so crushing and so keen! Our consciousness rarely registers the beginning of a growth within us any more than without us: there have been many circulations of the sap before we detect the smallest sign of the bud. What we say is important for in most cases the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Equality is the soul of friendship. #RandolphHarris 3 of 10
When I do entertain, in the Summer, which is rare, I receive my guest on the front porch, set up wicker trays found at Draper James, and serve ice cold sweet tea, cucumber finger sandwiches, and miniature chess pies. The ice tea is so delicious that it can stand alone as a refreshment, but we like to embellish things a bit. There are different reasons for receiving guest. Visits of congratulations are paid after the birth of an infant; when it is also customary to send tasteful and elegant baskets or bouquets of flowers. Also, upon friends who have received an appointment to any office or dignity in the community, state, or government. If a friend has published a book, you call to congratulation him or her upon its success; or if one has delivered a lecture, sermon, or oration, which has elicited your applause, you express your high estimation of the discourse. A good orator is pointed and impassioned, and they get their subjects into the heart of the audience. It is also a good idea to pay visits of congratulation when you hear that your friends are intending to marry, and take upon themselves new responsibilities. #RandolphHarris 4 of 10
There are times when people must act as though life were equally sweet in any company. In this World, sometimes we experience sickness, sorrow, and bereavement, visits of condolence must occasionally be made; and, if possible, they should be paid within a week after death has entered the family circle. If your acquaintance is ceremonious, it is the custom, however, to wait until the family has appeared at church. One should send up your card, and ask if your friends will receive you; and it is in good taste for ladies to be attired in quiet apparel, rather than in bright, beautiful colours. And you do not necessarily have to wear black. In formal visiting, a card can be left in lieu of a call. In many places, it is customary to send invitations to friends to attend a funeral, and only those receiving cards are expected to attend. Notes are also usually sent to those who are requested to serve as pall-bearers. One should always leave it to those who are in affliction to make the first allusions to their bereavement. Grief is an experience common after the passing of a loved one. There is a crying for someone to help because we cannot do anything about it. #RandolphHarris 5 of 10
My idea of good company is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a great deal of conversation. That is the best. When calling upon friends at hotels, or boarding houses, always send up by an assistance, a request to see them; and never enter a room until you have received an invitation to do so. When a gentleman calls upon a lady, and finds a lady friend also visiting her, he should rise when she takes her leave, and accompany her to the hall door; and is she has a carriage, should hand her into it. Also, when arriving at someone’s house, do not blow the horn of the carriage, nor holler and scream like you lost your mind for them to open the door. Get out of the carriage, and ring the doorbell like a well-bred person with sanity. People generally want to keep their communities as quiet and peaceful as possible. Gentlemen should always carry their hats in their hands when paying morning or evening calls, but should not place them on the chairs or parlor table. Every well-bred man knows that a hat can be made a very graceful part of his attire, especially if he knows how to hold it. #RandolphHarris 6 of 10
In our country, we are allowed considerable freedom in receiving and paying visits, and can appear, in the daytime, in all public places. It is actually becoming proper for ladies and gentlemen to have brothers, husbands, or friends of either gender attend meetings with them for safety reasons. It was a common practice for women, in the Victorian ages, but people are now always preying on men. I had a friend who went to meet up with people I thought he knew well, and he came back with a missing tooth. I did not expect he would actually keep company with someone he was unfamiliar with, and thought it was some kind of skit. Nonetheless, it was not my business to advise him. People used to be able to attend public exhibitions, libraries, etc., and appear on the promenades alone, but this may no longer be the case. If you attempt such proceedings in a World class city, or even a small rural town, you may expose yourself to indignities which would annoy you sadly. In the United States of America, women and men, who behave with discretion, can go wherever they please without molestation; but an escort is always desirable, especially in the evening. #RandolphHarris 7 of 10
There is no light without its shade, no good without its inconvenience. It is not considered comme il faut for the lady of the house to accompany ceremonial visitors to the door; she merely rises from her seat, bows, or shakes hands, according to her intimacy when the persons, and if her ménage supplies a parlor assistance, she rings the bell to summon him to open the outer door. With intimate friends, one can do as they please, either accompanying them to the door, or leaving them to find their way out of the house alone, or calling an assistant to escort them. However, in these modern times, with people changing like the seasons and acting all brand new when you least expect it, it is best to be safe and see your guest find them way out. In almost everything, we act on probabilities. Good sense will shew you the power of self-conquest, and point out its means. It should be the desire of us all to be well-bred, but it is not a veneering that can be applied, or laid aside at pleasure. Keeping witty company sharpens the apprehension. #RandolphHarris 8 of 10
More light a candle and fewer to curse the darkness. We should carry our good manners everywhere; and unless we cultivate them constantly, and exercise them upon all occasions, and towards all persons, they can never become a part of ourselves; and when we try to assume them, they will often fail us at our greatest need. If you are impolite to your washerwoman, or to your maid, you are in great danger of being so to those whose good opinion your desire to possess. Life is full of the saddest and the strongest contrasts. The charm which true politeness sheds over its possessors, is not easily described; yet, it is felt by everyone, and invariably responded to by the best feelings of their nature. It is the secret sympathy, the silver link, like the silken tie, which heart to hearts, and mind to mind, in body and in soul can bind. A companionable man or woman will put up with many inconveniences for the sake of enjoying agreeable society. The wine cannot be bad where the company is agreeable. #RandolphHarris 9 of 10
Glorious Father in Heaven, filled with compassion for those who invoke you and with love for those who suffer, heavily laden with the weight of our troubles, we cast ourselves at your feet and humbly beg you to take the present affair which we recommend to you under your special protection and make the rest of our lives the best of our lives. When we realize God’s favor is upon you, you will accomplish your dreams faster than you ever thought possible. telling yourself the wall is too big, the dream is too great, or the obstacles are too high. It will not happen in your own strength. It will not happen in your own powers. It will happen because Almighty God favors you. Try claiming God’s blessing instead of longing for them. The humblest painter of real life, if he could have his desire, would select a picturesque background for his figures; but events have an inexorable fashion of choosing their own landscape. Success if for everyone and your life becomes better the moment you become better. There is no success without sacrifice. You will be as small as your controlling desire, as great as your dominant aspiration. #RandolphHarris 10 of 10
Opportunities are a Lot Like Work—they are Everywhere
Difficulties and sufferings help to forge the human soul. Without effort and sacrifice nothing really great can be accomplished; even a good song cannot be created without pain, have you heard The One I gave my Heart to by Aaliyah? So, people should not hesitate to fight against evil and tyranny and to overcome fear. There are objective laws governing social progress but they depend on the laws of human nature, which can be discovered by an analysis of the history of humankind. Genuine intellectuals help their people to become aware of their sufferings and their real needs and to produce a radical change in their conditions. A social revolution, therefore, presupposes the total intellect power of the people. Education is a revolutionary act and leads to the growth of civilization and an increasing social justice and the elimination of irrationality in human life. Thinking consists of both abstract and concrete concepts; it is not only generalization of the experience, but also immediate consciousness of reality. Behind me is infinite power. Before me is endless possibility. Around me is boundless opportunity. Why Should I fear? #RandolphHarris 1 of 9
Perception and cognition are not a mere reflection of the external World, but a creative interpretation and transformation of data in the light of language, previous experience, and the practical needs and values of the subject. Knowledge is therefore a historical category and contains subjective, human elements. It is a picture of the World in the perspective of a limited cognitive apparatus and a limited set of goals. However, whenever human practice is repeatedly and intersubjectively successful, this can be explained only on the assumption that in all such cases it was guided by an objective knowledge of the corresponding parts of the World. There is a real possibility for humans to become a free creative being who rationally controls natural and social processes and lives in solidarity with other people in real human community. In the contemporary World humans have lost control over the products of their physical and mental activity (the state, political parties, nuclear weapons, religion). They have become enslaved by dull imposed labor and has reduced all the richness of life to an artificial need to possess as many objects as possible and other people to the status of things to be used. #RandolphHarris 2 of 9
Humans are alienated: they are not what people could be and ought to be. The supreme value for contemporary philosophy is therefore desalination, the progressive liberation from all forms of slavery and poverty, both material and spiritual, and the fulfillment of all the potential of the individual. Humans live in a World where there is both order and change, and they can therefore behave as a relatively free agent insofar as one becomes aware of external and internal compulsions and is ready to resist them. From this conviction that within certain objective limits humans can be free and can create history, contemporary philosophers are led to a profound optimism and activism. There are various kinds of visits: visits of ceremony, visits of condolence, visits of congratulations, and visits of friendship, and each has its different custom or etiquette. These visits, however, are all essential, in order to maintain good feeling between the members of society; and, therefore, they should be carefully attended to, even if they do occupy a large portion of your time. #RandolphHarris 3 of 9
Visits of ceremony, are those which are paid after receiving attentions at the hands of your acquaintances; after dining, or supping at a friend’s house; after attending an evening party; etc.; and they should invariably be of short duration; and one should never take either children or dogs when making them. Hand your card to the assistant at the door, and ask if the lady or ladies are in. When other visitors are announced, it is better to wait until they are seated, and then rise from your seat and take leave of your hostess, and bow politely to the guests; but never leave while others are entering the room, as it produced a needless confusion. Many well-bred persons do not introduce their visitors to each other; but if you are left in the parlor with strangers, while the servant summons his mistress, it is not impolite to enter into conversation with them, and when the lady enters, the conversation would be mutual. You should always call at an hour when you would expect to find ladies prepared to receive visitors, and not at lunch, or dinner-time. #RandolphHarris 4 of 9
In most cities, regular reception days are a la mode, and are engraved upon the visiting cards, thus – “At home Mondays, from 12 o’clock till 4.” And then it is needful to call upon that day, and between the hours prescribed. Only very intimate friends would call at any other time. After attending a dinner-party, or a ball, you should call within the week upon your hostess. When you are going to be absent from your house for months, or years, you should call upon all your friends and acquaintances, or send your card, enclosed in an envelope, with the letters, T.T.L. (“to take leave”) or P.P.C. (“Pour prendre conge), written at the right hand lower corner. In taking leave of a family, you send or leave as many cards as there are members; but if the call is upon intimate friends, you need only turn down the left-hand edge. If, previous to a long voyage, or absence, or on the occasion of your marriage, you omit to call or send a card to your friends, it is understood that the acquaintance ceases. When you return to the house, those to whom you have sent cards, or paid visits, will pay the first visit to you. #RandolphHarris 5 of 9
When a lady intends to give a large party or ball, she calls or leaves cards at the houses of those whom she intends to invite, from ten days to a week before the invitations are issued. A slip of thin card-board with the name, and the number of residence and street engraved upon it, is accepted as a substitute for a ceremonious visit, and its shape and lettering varying with the fashion. It is usual, however, to prefix the titles of Mr., Mrs., and Miss to the name, but young gentlemen omit the Mr., and; the professional ones, such as Right Rev., Rev, and Dr., are also given, but we omit the prefix of Hon. and Excellency. Military and naval titles are added to the cards of those in the service of the United States of America. A card can be left or sent by an assistant, in lieu of a formal visit; but it is not well-bred to send it through the post. In leaving your card for a stranger, you may not want to add your address, but it used to be custom to do so. Keep an account of your ceremonial visits. A visiting-list, or book, is indispensable if one possesses a large circle of acquaintances. This is needful, because time passes so rapidly; and then you note down at what time your visits were returned. #RandolphHarris 6 of 9
And you can graduate your visits by it; yet there may be circumstances, such as ill healthy, or age, which would render it desirable for you to call again without reference to the return of your visits. The courtesies of society should ever be respected among the nearest friends, and even in the domestic circle; but among relations and intimate friends, visits of ceremony are not needed. Yet, one should endeavor to pay even social visits at suitable hours, and never make one’s self a bore by staying too long. To continue working with the crochet needle, typewriter, telegraph machine, telephone, or television when visits of ceremony are paid, would be extremely uncourteous; but when intimate friends are present, it is not always necessary to lay aside any light kind of work which does not interfere with your conversation. However, you guests are not indentured servants. It is decidedly inconsistent, however, with good-breeding to have your eyes fixed upon a crochet, or worsted pattern, and attempt to count its stitches while receiving a call from the most intimate friend. If your visitors come from a distance, be sure to offer then some refreshments, or urge them to remain to lunch; and is those call who are ill in health, offer a glass of wine, with a biscuit or cracker. #RandolphHarris 7 of 9
We admire learning in a pig; and undervalue it in a human. We once heard a lady say:– “I never attempted now to pay visits in the downtown or midtown of this city, because it entails upon me long drive, traffic, difficult parking, and something of a walk into the bargain, and as few ladies ever think of offering their friends either a glass of wine or a cup of coffee or tea, with a biscuit, scone, biscotti, or a bit of cake, I should return to my house half famished, and a severe headache would be the result. I am always glad to see my friends, but I cannot return their visits.” A slight lunch would be always agreeable after the exertion. In the same town or village, of course, such an attention is needles; yet, if aged persons call, it is pleasing courtesy to them. Do not pass gas in the phone booth, and it is polite to have a stool only in your own bathroom, if possible. And it is important that you never date more than one person from the same family. Never make fancy with the former romantic interest of your friends, and never date more than one person at a time. #RandolphHarris 8 of 9
Find your own vision. Three important rules for breaking up. Do not put off breaking up when you know you want to. Prolonging the situation only makes it worse. Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly. Do not make a big production. Do not make an elaborate story. This will help you avoid a big tear-jerking scene. If you want to date other people, say so. Be prepared for the man to feel hurt and rejected. Even, if you have gone together for only a short time, and have not been too serious. There is still a feeling of rejection when someone says she preferred the company of others to your exclusive company. However, if you are honest, and direct, and avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you break the news, the man will respect you for your frankness and honesty. And honestly, he will appreciate the kind of straightforward manner in which you told him your decision, unless he is a real jerk or a crybaby, you will remain friends. When you face situations that seem impossible in your everyday life, pray. When you ask, God releases favor and angles to go to work and strongholds are broken. You will see the greatness of God’s power and the rest of your life will be the best of your life. #RandolphHarris 9 of 9
A Vital Doctrine—God Manifest in the Flesh
Never in a human head was contemplation more separated from desire. The Architects and advocates of the modern English translations of the Holy Scriptures unequivocally declare that Christ was God manifest in the flesh. He appeared in body. Two whole, perfect, and distinct natures, the Godhead and the manhood, were inseparably joined together in one Person, without conversion, composition, or confusion. Which person is very God and very man, yet one Christ, the only Mediator between God and human beings. The Westminster Divines evidently regarded this verse as one of the essential proofs of the Trinitarian doctrine of the Bible, that the Father is God, the Son is God, and the Holy Spirit is God. The first Reason, why the then Greatness of the Roman Empire was a fit Circumstance of Time for the Mission, of Christ, is that he might better manifest his Divine Authority and Commission to the civil Powers of the World. Hell, Satan, and the devils are in reality sates of the mind. However, some events can never be explained. When we limit the mental to the realm of conscious events (the actual), it is called psychology without a soul. #RandolphHarris 1 of 13
Faithfulness to fact is raised to the level of genius. Behavior at the house is one of the best touchstones of good manners; for many persons will appear well abroad, and yet cannot exhibit any degree of ease at their own fireside table. However, to entertain company without embarrassment or excitement, is an art which it requires some usage to perfect. Company, various company, is the only school of this knowledge. Nothing forms a young person so much as being used to keep respectable and superior company, where a constant regard and attention is necessary. It is true, this is at first a disagreeable state of restraint; but it soon grows habitual, and consequently easy; and you are amply paid for it by the improvement you make, and the credit it gives you. Hospitality is also a Christian duty, and all homemakers should exercise it to some extent. We were not designed to live alone, to shut ourselves up in our houses, and enjoy the blessings up in our houses, and enjoy the blessings which have been given us in a spirit of exclusiveness. The idea is therefore essentially the divine nature and formally the ratio according to which God intelligizes creatures. #RandolphHarris 2 of 13
These ideas make up the creative mind of God. In a parallel fashion the universal (on human level) is its singular. The singular participates in its universal, which is by nature a projection of an idea in the mind of God. As a creation of God’s mind, the singular is incapable of annihilation. For God to allow a singular to be annihilated would be to permit the annihilation of a part of himself—an obvious impossibility. Nature teaches us a lesson in this direction. She keeps open house for innumerable winged and creeping insects, and their banquets are always spread among the beautiful, fragrant flowers, whose hospitable abodes are every filled with guests, from the bees and the butterflies to the tiniest winged fairy. Elegant hospitality can be exercised at a moderate expense; and those of us who cannot afford to give costly dinner or evening parties, can surely entertain a few friends at tea or coffee, or of an evening, and this promote a social feeling among neighbors and acquaintances. It is not well for young persons to entertain too much company when they first commence housekeeping, but neither is it well to pay no heed to hospitality. #RandolphHarris 3 of 13
God’s intellection, his knowledge, his will, the Trinity, his ideas and his power to create outside himself is the grand design. Young people should live frugally and you will live happily; shut not your doors or hearts against those who have a claim upon your hospitality;–but remember, that if they really esteem and love you, they will come not to look at your table or your furniture, but to enjoy your society. Psychology is the common basis for all scientific and cultural knowledge and the bond uniting all the individual sciences, and therefore as the science directly preparatory to philosophy. Certain knowledge is possible for humans of one realm but not of the other, where only opinion is possible, although God may be able to have the knowledge of both. The chief art of pleasing is to make everyone feel at home; that is, at one’s ease. And if anything has occurred in your ménage to ruffle your temper, do not annoy your guest by telling your grievances. Of course, they cannot be interested in such petty details; and the relation may tend to mar their pleasure. We can improve our understanding, but this will always fall short of knowledge. #RandolphHarris 4 of 13
The most perfect being must owe one’s exemption from vice to the absence of temptation. We never quite understand why another dislikes what we like. There are those who are born with the faculty of rendering everyone happy who comes in contact with them, and they seem endowed with great discernment of character, and can encourage the timid, repress the encroaching, and call forth the peculiar talents and perfections of all. Such persons can always make themselves agreeable; while there are others who, strive as they can, can never attain to the same position. Yet, a desire to please—a desire to entertain one’s guest, will usually prove successful; and if you are cheerful, animated and pleasant yourself, you cannot fail to shed a halo of pleasure upon those around you. People of an enormously strong moral character have an unselfishness and self-control. It is important to be ambitious generals and politicians to acquire knowledge, and draw analogies to show that all skills must be learned. The significance of your knowledge can be usefully increased by deeper understanding of the purposes of your various crafts. #RandolphHarris 5 of 13
If your friends become your guests for awhile, it is well to give them some insight into your mode of life. Then they will readily comprehend your duties, and will often think it advisable not to encroach too much upon your morning hours, which may be required for some domestic occupations. After luncheon, or early dinner, your time, however, should be given up to them; either to drive out, walk, shop, or in some entertainment in the house. Of course, you will always attend to the arrangement of their sleeping-rooms, and provide everything that is essential for their comfort before they arrive, unless you are blessed with a most superior housekeeper. It is merciless to invite friends to visit you in cold weather, without providing a fire in their bedroom or dressing-room (heat). Neither is it courteous to wait until they arrive, and then inquire—“Would you like a fire?” Therefore, if you cannot afford to make your friends comfortable, do not invite them; at least in the wintry season. #RandolphHarris 6 of 13
There are temptations which it is not in the power of human nature to resist. Let your guest see, by your manner, that their presence is a decided pleasure to you; and make it also an incentive to recreations and amusements which do not belong to the common routine of your life. One should try to make their visits as agreeable as possible, but without any apparent effort; so that they many not think that you are putting yourself out of the way to afford them pleasures in which you do not often indulge. It is your duty to endeavor to make the time pass pleasantly, but if your visitors perceive that you are altering the daily tenor of your life on their account, it will detract greatly from their happiness. Mental training is paramount; serenity, sincerity, magnanimity, introspection, and self-restraint are the virtues to be cultivated. An ethical formula of devotion within, righteousness without is a virtue to be cultivated. Learning is knowing and practice. Therefore, we must rely on intelligence rather than strength. Intelligence is a great asset in the struggle for existence. #RandolphHarris 7 of 13
We do not injure others, nor harm ourselves in the pursuit of fame, wealth, and rank. These are to be avoided as temptations external to one’s nature. On the other hand, there is inherent in human beings a craving for the pleasures of this World. To seek the gratification of one’s desires for such things as fine food and beautiful objects is to yield to one’s original nature and in this way to work for its completion. We must seek happiness to our heart’s content, as well as longevity and immortality. One should not unnecessarily shorten one’s life. It is a good plan, when inviting guests to visit you, to state a given period for their visit. Mention the day when you would be happy to receive them, and the length of time of their visit. Perhaps a young lady is invited to make a visit in the country, or in the city, and no mention is made of days, weeks, or months, for its limit, and, therefore, she is utterly at a loss to know what amount of clothing to bring. It is impossible to study the human frame without a little studying the human mind. #RandolphHarris 8 of 13
The imprudence of our thoughts recoils upon our heads. When your guests intimate their intention of leaving you, if you really desire them to remain longer, say so frankly, and urge them to prolong the visit; but if you do not care for their society any longer, do not be so insincere as to urge it; or, on the other hand, if they cannot prolong their visit, do not worry them by your pertinacity in urging them to do so—but, while you invite them to renew their visit at their earliest convenience, facilitate their departure by every means in your power, and give them all needful information as to routes, times tables, etc. Of course, no guest will leave a friend’s house without some expression of regret and good-will. A good warm heart will, however, dictate the forms of speech requisite upon such occasions. And when you are at the house, be sure and inform your friends of your safe arrival, and express the gratification you have received from your visit, and gracefully allude to different members of the family, while you thank them for their kindly hospitality. #RandolphHarris 9 of 13
The transcendental knowledge attained involves a vivid awareness of the nature of the soul and its essential distinctness from the psychophysical organism. This bring liberation. No well-bred person will ever fail to acknowledge your hospitality and charming family; and a failure to do so, is a decided mark of ignorance of both etiquette and politeness. Guests will never take the part of either host or hostess in any trifling disagreement or opinion. As visitors, they can express their ideas upon various matters, of course; but shun any partisanship. And they will also scrupulously respect the rights of their entertainers, and never criticize their surroundings and manners to other persons. A house guest never speaks ill of those whose food one has tasted; and well-bred persons will never repeat what Mrs. Hearst said, nor tell what Mr. Hearst. did, when they were visiting. There has been some investigation of the physiology, and there seems little doubt that a kind of hibernation can be achieved and that the control over lungs, heartbeat, and the viscera organs is, by ordinary standards remarkable. #RandolphHarris 10 of 13
Some of the ore spectacular physical claims, however (such as levitation), are unconfirmed, and some of them are mythological in style. The ascription of magical powers to the host or hostess is part of the traditional tendency in India to think that with austerity and mental discipline can create a force which can even threaten the gods. This in turn both reflects and generates the view that mystical experience is the supreme religious goal, transcending the cult of supernatural beings. Such discrepancies of good manners are perfectly unendurable, and no respectable person will excuse them. Visitors should always give the housekeepers who waited upon them some little presents, either in money or its equivalent. They have had extra work in waiting upon them, and, therefore, deserve extra compensation. The chain which binds society together is composed of innumerable links, and it should be the part of hosts and guest to keep them uniformly bright; and to let neither moth nor rust corrupt them. There is nothing so difficult as to manage the public mind. The rest of your life will be the best of your life, which is socially engaged, but still retains its intellectual independence and freedom of social criticism. #RandolphHarris 11 of 13
Seeing may be contrasted both with hearing and with feeling by touching. One way in which seeing differs from hearing follows from the truth of our language that we hear an object if and only if we hear a sound which is made by the object. There is no comparable linguistic practice in the case of seeing. This may lead us to think of sight as presenting objects to us directly, hearing only indirectly. One way in which seeing differs from feeling by touching is that if we feel something by touching it, our experience is of feeling it with a particular part of the body. Our visual experience, however, is not of seeing with our eyes. We can imagine a disembodied mind having visual experiences but not having tactile ones. Sight does not require our being part of the material World in the way in which feeling by touching does. One way in which seeing differs from both hearing and feeling by touching is in respect to time. It takes time to hear a tune or to feel the shape of a statue, but one seems to be able to see a landscape instantaneously. #RandolphHarris 12 of 13
Sweet pliability of a human’s spirit, that can at once surrender itself to illusions, which cheat expectations and sorrow of their weary moments! Thus, the directness of seeing when contrasted with hearing, its noninvolvement with its object when contrasted with feeling by touching, and its apparent temporal immediacy when contrasted with both hearing and feeling by touching are features that may partly explain the belief that sight is the most excellent of the senses; this envied in the use by ancient and modern philosophers of predominantly visual metaphors to describe intellectual apprehension. Pray that we may finally receive the consolations and the succor of Heaven in all our necessities, tribulations and sufferings, particularly in Sacramento, and that we may bless God with the Elect through eternity. As mere human knowledge can split a ray of light and analyze the manner of its composition, so sublime intelligence may read in the feeble shining of this Earth of ours, every thought and act, every vice and virtue, of every responsible creature on it. #RandolphHarris 13 of 13
There is No Secret of Success—Success is for Everyone
No advice on success works unless you do. Your life becomes better only when you become better. Beware of the barrenness of an overcrowded life. The secret of the heart is its pressing love of self. The purpose of history—what happens at any time is not simply or wholly the effect of what has already happened; and event is dependent upon its past as the material upon which activity may be expended, but it is also a new and fresh expenditure of activity upon that material. What occurs is reconstruction, transformation, remaking. What was is thus pushed back into the past, and what becomes takes the place of what was. Time does not move from past through present to future; rather, it moves from the possible to the actual, that is, from one of the potentialities of what formerly was to a single actuality which is brought into existence by an action (whether that action be unconscious chance or conscious choice) upon what was. What comes to us from the past offers us opportunities and often imposes cruel limitations, but it does not make our choices for us. Rather, it allows us to realize our ends insofar as we have understanding of the potentialities it contains. #RandolphHarris 1 of 10
History has no one end; it includes many processes with their many, often incompatible, ends. And human choices, insofar as they are intelligent, may well be effective to some degree. A naturalistic theory of nature thus issues in a humanistic theory of man. Habitual inattention is sometimes attributed to great genius, but we cannot endorse that idea. Such a peculiarity of manner is subversive of all politeness, and tends to shut a person within oneself, and make one of little importance in life. There are some young persons, however, who delight to pass for geniuses or originals, and they think it very interesting to appear as if in a “brown study” while in the company of others. They like to seem entirely absorbed, and are delighted if anyone observes their eccentricities. Such manners are entirely at variance with good-breeding. If a person speak to you ever so foolishly or frivolously, it is the height of ill manners not to heed what he or she says; and if he or she every forces conversation upon you, it is unkind, to say the least, to assume a perfectly indifferent demeanor. #RandolphHarris 2 of 10
Besides, you cannot offer anyone more flattering attention than by that pleasing deference which, though it may involve somewhat of a sacrifice yet, is worth making. It is a good rule to endeavor to please everyone as far as is possible for us to do without too great a breach of sincerity. In this country, free and easy manners are too prevalent; but space would fail us to particularize all the little trifles in which even well-bred persons sometimes fall short. We will, however, briefly remark, that nothing can be more adverse to good manners than the habit of sitting with the hat on in the house—be it in the parlor, dining-room, kitchen, store, or office; or then yawning and whispering in company, lounging upon the chairs, by tipping them back upon two legs; taking the best seat in the room, and keeping them when your elders enter; or standing with the back to an open fire, when other persons are near it; and last, but not least, spitting into the fire, etc. These practices are deemed almost peculiar to our country, and have been severely animadverted upon by European travelers in our midst. #RandolphHarris 3 of 10
Not only that, but during police investigations, when people are suspected of crimes and refuse to give a DNA sample (in order to match the blood or body fluid to a crime scene) investigators will be undercover, watching you and waiting for you to spit on the ground or drop a cigarette so that they can collect your DNA and tie you to the crime. They will photograph or video tape you so they can prove that they legally obtained the same from you, even without you knowing. The evidence can be disputed. However, if you do not know the victim, then your DNA has no business being at the crime scene. And if you know the victim, you better hope you have a good reason for living your DNA behind. So be care when you spit or liter, and realize there is usually a witness to everything that happens. A man or woman may have virtue, capacity, and good habits, and yet his or her lack of good-breeding may made him or her unendurable to those who are well-bred. There are three classes of people; lovers of wisdom, lovers of honor, and lovers of gain. #RandolphHarris 4 of 10
You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. If a person neglects education, one walks lame to the end of one’s life. The style and manner which we neglect as too trifling for us to heed, are often the things by which the World judges us. There are many little matters of personal bearing and conduct which must be attended to, if we desire to be agreeable to society. It is useless to say that such a man or woman, whose attire is neglected, whose whole appearance bespeaks the sloven, is a good and able man or woman and therefore must be agreeable and pleasing. His or her ability and goodness are, doubtless, desirable qualities, but the personal juxtaposition of the individual is insupportable to those who are accustomed to cleanliness and refinement. Not that it is essential that every person should be externally elegant, or an adept in the rules which constitute good-breeding; but no one can hope to be admired and sought after, who is addicted to conspicuous uncleanliness, the special tendency of which is to inspire painful feelings in those around him or her. #RandolphHarris 5 of 10
Never by monkeyish or clownish—attempting to introduce the manners of the circus into the house. Some rude boys and girls seem to ride themselves upon their exhibitions of low, vulgar tricks, antic gestures, foolish jests, and odd, slangy expression. This is an example of the contrast between the brilliant skill, ingenuity, and care bestowed upon observation and experiment in biology, and the almost complete neglect of caution in regard to the definition and use of etiquette and good breeding. The effect of this has been to arrest the development of the life sciences. They cause chronic controversies and antitheses of biology, such as those between mechanism and vitalism, preformation and epigenesist, teleology and causation, structure and function, organism and environment, and body and mind. Such low, shameful vulgarity may excite the laughter of foolish persons, for the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness; but no one possessing common sense can see such behavior without disgust and abhorrence. And every person that acts like the buffoon puts oneself on the level with a clown, and lowers oneself in the estimation of the good and the wise. #RandolphHarris 6 of 10
Music is the movement of sound to reach the soul for the education of its virtue. Be polite, respectful and modest to all, and especially to your elders and superiors. There is nothing more disgusting than a youth who assumes an air of disrespect and self-importance towards one’s superiors, equals, or inferiors. Never stare people in the face. It is exceedingly impolite, and a certain mark of ill-breeding to stare idly at strangers or anyone, as though you were entirely unused to seeing visitors. In conversing with anyone, however, it is right to look him or her in the face, with cheerful, dignified and respectful assurance. Never jerk, twitch or slam doors or window blinds; but endeavor to be cautious and gentle in all your motions. No well-bred child will ever slam a door in anger, or even give it a strong twitch. Never enter a house or parlor with your boots all mud and slush, or sit down with your hat or cap on. Never go up and down stairs, or about the house, with the speed or a trotting horse and the tread of an elephant; step lightly, quickly, and orderly. Never be rude and boisterous with your young friends. You can share in all kinds of sports, and yet never lose the command of yourself so as to become hoydenish and bold. #RandolphHarris 7 of 10
Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge. Avoid loud screaming and rude merriment. Remember what Lear says of Aaliyah: “Her voice was ever sweet, gentle and low; and excellent thing in a woman. If we will study to introduce home etiquette into our families; to learn to be always courteous—always conciliatory—always well-bred—we should find that we had gained an immeasurable amount of happiness and the rest of our lives will be the best of our lives. Negligence and carelessness with regard to the little amenities of life, are the fruitful source of much domestic unhappiness. Good manners are to the family, what good morals are to society, their cement and their security. We think not that we daily see about our hearts—angels that are to be, or may be if they will, and we prepare their souls and ours to meet in happy air—a child, a friend, a wife whose soft heart sings in unison with ours, breeding its future wings. We should continue to turn to God as children, being continuously converted every day of our lives. #RandolphHarris 8 of 10
Almighty God, who, when the hearts of your people have grown cold, send your Holy Spirit to relight the flame of your love in their hearts, and raise up faithful ministers to recall your people to their former devotion and service. Mercifuly grant that we, following the teachings and example of Teresa of Avila, may be filled with your Holy Spirit, may be aflame with zeal for your glory and love for your goodness and hunger for your love, and that our feet may be set upon the path that leads to true holiness. We ask through Jesus Christ our Lord. Bless it be. You may be discouraged because your plans did have not worked out, but those closed doors were not an accident. That was God directing your steps. The reason God closed them because he has something better in store. Will you trust God? Gods ways are not our ways, they are better than our ways. There will be times when you do not get what you want, and you cannot understand why not. You may be experiencing that right now. Will you stay in faith while you wait to see what God is up to? #RandolphHarris 9 of 10
Our first scrape generally leads to our first travel. Disappointment requires change of air; desperation change of scene. God is wonderful in his design and excellent in his process and projects and houses. Believer, God overrules all things for your good. Your course is mapped out by your Lord. Nothing will take God by surprise. There will be no novelties to God. Real satisfaction comes not in understanding God’s motives, but in understanding his character, in trusting in his promises, and in leaning on him and resting in God as the Sovereign who knows what he is doing and does all things well. Perhaps there is a pattern set up in the Heavens for one who desires to see it, and having seen it, to find one in oneself. Time—I see it not, I feel it not: it is but a shadowy name—a succession of breathings measured forth by night by the clank of a bell, by day by a shadow crossings along a dialstone. Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements. Protect your dreams. Feed them. Nurture them. Encourage them to grow, Care for them. For someday, they may take care of you. #RandolphHarris 10 of 10
Randolph Harris II International Institute 