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Women Swear and Men Gossip, Yet I Shall Attempt so Justice with Mercy!
At the beginning of the World Series, I experienced a completely new emotion, when the National Anthem was played. This time, I thought, it is being played for me, as much as for anyone else. This is organized major league baseball, and I am standing here with all the others; and everything that takes place includes me. Remember that day when you moved into the first place of your own? You were the king of your castle: nobody to answer to, nobody to share chores with. You could watch the TV shows you wanted to watch, eat the foods you wanted to eat, and clean up or not. What a great setup! It is also usually a very temporary state of affairs. One day—sooner than they might have imagined—most men wake up and find themselves married or living with a significant other or roommate. And whenever living space is shared, differences of opinion inevitably arise over the care and use of those spaces. If not handled thoughtfully, these differences can turn into conflicts. Fortunately, the complexities of thoughtful home sharing can be vastly simplified by thinking of your house as a series of discrete spaces—each with its own set of issues. Keep these key issues firmly in mind, and life will be blissfully peaceful on the homes front. The two rooms that have the most potential for conflicts are the kitchen and the bathroom. #RandolphHarris 1 of 20
When we asked women to identify the leading case of conflict in the kitchen, they gave one overwhelming answer: When it comes to cleaning up, especially after themselves, men do not do their share. If you go into the kitchen to make something to eat, clean up the mess before you start eating and do not leave any dishes in the sink because the kitchen is really the soul of Cresleigh Homes. It is where the family gathers and makes meals and often eats. It is the room that requires the most cooperation to keep it clean and functioning. Sincerity matters. If you say you will clean the dishes, then do it. Forgetting sets a pattern, and it established a precedent that your words is not good. In any relationship, the trust the grows out of keeping your promises is a cornerstone of its success. The bathroom is the one place where we all truly want to be private and comfortable. In an ideal World, everyone would have a bathroom that was theirs and theirs alone. In reality, however, most of us share a bathroom with a significant other, and perhaps with others family members or roommates. This overlap of personal space is where trouble starts. Women tend to be very particular about the bathroom. They do not like the toilet seat to be left up, no urine on the toilet seat, and no water or shaving stubble left on the counter. #RandolphHarris 2 of 20
Always makes sure you flush the toilet, and put the toilet seat back down. It is not sexist because we all have to sit down at sometime. In the middle of the night no one wants to fall in the toilet. If there is a fan in the bathroom, turn in on before you use the shower or the toilet and also makes sure to clean the bathtub out when you bathe. Try not to clean the bathroom with bleach because it could ruin someone’s clothes. When it comes to bathroom behaviour, it is almost always a good idea to be accommodating of your partner’s needs and desires. This delicate area is generally not the place to make a stand on some point of personal self-expression. And a closed door is an unspoken request for privacy, and it should be honoured at all times. There is no questions that I have got to be cleaned up: shaved, combed, dressed nicely, and smelling good by the time we leave the house or sit down at the dinner table. In the Middle Ages, knights in shining armour met each other encased from head to toe in metal. Often they simply could not be identified and had no idea if the other knight was friend or foe. So they took to lifting off their helmets to reveal their identities to each other. The servers at banquets in the Middle Ages were required to remove their hats as a mark of deference to the patrons. The removing of a head covering became a custom and evolved into the removal of a hat being a mark of respect. This action had remained a custom ever since. #RandolphHarris 3 of 20
When you enter a person’s home, removing your hat is a symbol of your respect for the owner. Likewise, as you enter a restaurant, taking off your cap is the right thing to do for the people you are with and for the other diners. Anytime you enter a place of worship, your baseball cap should come off. However, when you enter a store or other public space, you can keep your cap on. Each of us is responsible for the image we project. Taking that responsibility seriously is a clear signal of your respect for others. If you choose to go on a date without cleaning up first, you are responsible when your date decides she does not want to see you again. Pass gas, spitting, or let loose with a string of expletives when you are with a group of friends, and they may forgive one episode—but make it a habit, and you could quickly find yourself without friends. These are not random examples, many people responded that these are pet peeves. Failing to bathe, passing gas, and foul languages all emerged as major issues—as did smoking, chewing gum, and spitting. Clean hair and nails are a must; a well-groomed man is very attractive! Soap and water are affordable enough for everyone to be clean. Sometimes, especially when cigars are involved, men forget that their exhaled smoke is generally viewed as obnoxious, invasive, and annoying. #RandolphHarris 4 of 20
It is worth remembering that many people often have an especially visceral reaction to cigar smoke. If you choose to light up a stogie in a private home or a public place that allow it, check with everyone in your group first to make sure no one minds—then offer cigars to anyone who wants one, including women. However, do not forget that cigar smoke can linger in your clothes. Furthermore, people also have different opinions about what constitutes swearing. That is why I always try to keep colourful language out of my presentations; I do not want to risk offending any participants, and the use of swear words is not going to enhance my message one bit. Being careful to choose our words so we do not often our listeners is a lesson we all need to relearn periodically. Even when you are with a group of friends accustomed to using profanity, if you think that someone—anyone—in the group might be bothered by it, then be considerate and hold your tongue. And if you are not sure…hold it anyway. Just like we think men are the only gender that swears, we also think that women are the only gender that gossips. Well, it is not true. Women swear and men gossip. In fact, I am amazed how much some men gossip, even when live sports were being played, one can frequently hear men talking about other men more than anything else. #RandolphHarris 5 of 20
Unfortunately, gossip is insidious. Unlike a joke, which is a momentary thing, gossip lingers. It clouds our opinion of the people being gossiped about, but it also makes one thing less of the slanderer. So, whether it is on the golf course, at the water cooler, or over lunch, make the effort to put a stop to gossip when you hear it. At the very least do not contribute to it and do not repeat what you hear. A more proactive stance would include indicating you are uncomfortable with the conversation, offering a defense of the individual, and refusing to be part of gossip and make the proactive effort, women notice their willingness to stand up for another person, and they appreciate it. Also, when in your care, consciously work to be considerate of other people in your car and the cars around you. That is how to combat road rage. If you are upset, consider pulling off the road in a safe place. The prince Lestat in Anne Rice’s Queen of the Damned may have been a sadist, and he did not understand what it took to make a relationship work. Look at any relationship that is in trouble, and it is a good bet, if it is not because of money, a failure to communicate is the issue. Half of all communication is listening. So being a good listener is critical to the success of your communication with your wife, significant other, family, friends, strangers, and work colleagues. #RandolphHarris 6 of 20
Safe. That is what communication in a relationship needs to be. Out of that safety and sincerity grow trust, confidence, and a better, stronger relationship. Figure out how to focus on the other person. It is worth the effort for both of you and for your relationship. When you are trying to communicate, whether one on one or in a group setting, the skill of listening to others is just as important as your ability to express yourself. Besides paying close attention to what the other person is saying, make it clear that you are listening carefully by looking directly at the other person who is speaking. Do no interrupt until that person is done making his or her point. Then respond by asking questions and offering observations based on what is said. Make a habit of listening effectively, and you will find that your relationships will grow and deepen. Your voice communicates a lot about how you are really feeling. If your words indicate genuine interest but your voice is a monotone, what is the message you are sending? You really do not mean what you are saying: Tone. Anger, frustration, joy, concern. People react not only to your words but how they are said and the tone of your voice. When you were growing up, how often did you hear these words from your father or mother: “Do not take that tone of voice with me.” #RandolphHarris 7 of 20
Speed. Speed kills. In conversation, speed makes comprehension difficult, so slow down. The people or person you are talking with needs a little time to process what you are saying, especially if it is a serious, important subject. Speaking clearly. Mumbling, grunting—not only are you hard to understand, it sounds like you are trying not to be understood. Instead of contributing to the conversation you sound as if you are trying to avoid it. Accent. People come from different nationalities, even different areas of the United States of America. If you have an accent that is different from the person or people with whom you are talking, it may make it more difficult for them to understand you. In that case, speed is doubly problematic. And speaking clearly becomes even more important for you to be understood. Good listeners honour the person they are with by the way they focus on that person. Look them in the eyes. Eye contact is a key part of any interaction. Nod or say “Uh huh.” Simple nonverbal cues can demonstrate that your focus is squarely on the person and not somewhere else. Ask a question or repeat a point. Question and comments show you are really a part of the conversation and are hearing what the other person has to say. #RandolphHarris 8 of 20
Avoid nervous habits. Even if you are paying attention to what a person is saying, if you are playing with an object, it sends the message that you are distracted. Wait your turn. It is very annoying to be in midsentence and suddenly have the person you are talking to start talking right over you. A good listener waits for a natural break, that momentary pause before jumping in with a comment or question. The method of a philosophic teacher is not to make the decisions of the pupil for one but rather to lead one to make them for oneself. The teacher will outline the process of arriving at the correct conclusion, but one will not deprive the pupil of responsibility of trusting that process and accepting its outcome. The teacher may even make available information which will be helpful to the student in arriving at a decision, but beyond that one cannot go if the student is to arrive at a decision, but beyond that one cannot go if the student is to arrive at independence and maturity. The relationship which we find in mystical or the Old-World circles, which leaves the pupil completely or continuously dependent upon one’s guide and causes one to come constantly running hither and tither for advice as to what one should do next, will only increase the helplessness of the pupil. The philosophic way is to help one develop one’s own ability to dispose of problems and confront situations effectively. #RandolphHarris 9 of 20
The philosophic method is to lead one to a point where one requires no teacher. The mystical method is to lead one to the point where one cannot do without the teacher. The teacher who demands blind obedience from one’s pupil belongs to a vanishing age. The teacher who strives to make one’s pupil’s own mind understand each step of the way one travels belongs to the coming age. The first often ends by enslaving one’s followers, whereas the second ends by liberating them. The first is a dictator, the second a companion. The first creates nonentities, the second, humans. A wise teacher will no lecture to one’s students, will not try the superficial way of telling them every detail of truth. However, by discussion questioning and encouragement one will help them to elicit it for themselves and thus enable them to make it deeply and lastingly their own. The right way to teach humans is to propose truth, not impose it. A philosophic teacher often prefers to let the student make one’s own discoveries on the basis of clues provided rather than lead one into rigid imprisoning doctrines. The true teacher should stimulate thought and not stereotype it. If an aspirant is fortunate enough to get direct and personal guidance on this kind, one is fortunate indeed. The master gives a candidate the seeds and teaches one how to cultivate them: how to water, nourish, and tend the plants which sprout up from them. #RandolphHarris 10 of 20
The highest type of teacher does not want and will not encourage a blind unquestioning acceptance of one’s own views. The true teacher interprets the divine will for one’s disciple but does not impose it on one. Such a guidance may proffer advice and tender suggestions but one will never issue orders and dictate decisions. Instead of trying to deprive the student of one’s capacity to intuit truths for oneself, the disinterested teacher will try to create it. A genuine teacher will not seek to dominate the soul of a student, will not strive to impose one’s own will upon one. For the teacher desires to see a natural and not a forced artificial growth, to free humans and not to enslave them. The real master spiritualizes one’s disciple but does not debilitate one. The self-actualized who does not want to enslave disciples, will guide them to do what they themselves ought to be doing, but are weakly and foolishly expecting one to do for them. A prudent master prefers not to help people but to help them to help themselves. If you do not put into one’s hands the knowledge and equipment wherewith one can acquire strength, it is merely a mockery to admonish a weakling to become strong. It is the teacher’s duty to foster one’s disciple’s creativeness, not his imitativeness—to encourage the disciple to develop one’s own inspiration. #RandolphHarris 11 of 20
The average teacher takes from one’s own personal experience what helped one most or what one’s own teacher led one to, and passes it on to the student as being “the Path,” the only way to God, the sole method of arriving at truth—whether this particular way or method suits the individual type or one’s degree of development or not. One almost forces it on the student, even if it is contrary to the latter’s entire temperament or need. The poor student finds oneself imprisoned and locked up in one’s teacher’s personal opinions and practices, as if nothing good existed outside them. The wisest master lets the disciple develop in one’s own way, according to one’s own individuality. Such a teacher will be the student’s motivating influence while, paradoxically, encouraging one to preserve one’s independence. What the wise teacher does is to wait for the right situations to develop in which one’s own efforts can be most fruitful. One has waited for years, reserving the full expression of one’s powers until the crucial hour when the aspirant is ready to receive one. Until then, one must conceal one’s identity. One’s wisdom in refusing to influence the student’s decisions will not be apparent at first. Indeed it will be regarded as unwisdom—and one’s attitude will be felt as unsympathetic. #RandolphHarris 12 of 20
It is not the business of a master to save the disciple from suffering so much as to save one from the faults in oneself which create suffering. One may suggest and advise but never impose one’s will upon yours. One turns a lamp upon your problems but leaves you free to work the out for yourself. It seems that certain topics can dominate men’s conversations. The problem is some of those topics really are not particularly interesting to some people. What is inappropriate talk? Talk about pleasures of the flesh, bathroom business and finances. Jokes can be a great conversational gambit, but be careful about the kind of jokes you tell. Somewhat indecent or poor comments and jokes in poor taste may be funny when you are alone with your buddies, but they may be resented when in mixed company or in front of kids and may provoke an adverse and dangerous reaction. If you cannot be sure a joke or a question will be well received, then it is better to keep it to yourself. I was asked to give a seminar to the staff of a large ski area including the ski and snowboard instructors. One issue the company wanted to address was word choice. It turned out that some of the younger instructors were using a word that was actually costing the ski area business. Parents were writing comments indicating they were not going to purchase any more family lessons because they were fed up with hearing it. #RandolphHarris 13 of 20
The word: we cannot mention it. That word is extremely derogatory, and when said repeatedly over an hour it is awfully offensive to these parents. And that offensiveness was costing the company revenue. To the young instructors, the word was harmless—a normal part of their vocabulary and popular music—and they thought it was hip, witty, and trendy and should not elicit such a reaction. However, it did. Even though a particular word you use may be totally innocent or acceptable to you, if the person you are speaking to is offended by it, then perhaps you need to find an alternative. Also, nonverbal cues are important. When you are talking with someone face-to-face you are giving nonverbal cues that enhance what you are saying. Those cues can reinforce your words or belie them. When you are with another person, not only do the words you say matter, your image maters as well. You can roll your eyes and imply your disgust or frustration. You can purse your lips and suggest impatience or simmering anger. You can jiggle your foot or drum your fingers and communicate your nervousness. You can sit back, slouched, with your arms crossed and indicate your nonreceptiveness. When you say one thing and your body says another, you are not communicating effectively. #RandolphHarris 14 of 20
A master’s work is not to issue command which must be obeyed by enslaved disciples, but to formulate principles which must be understood by enlightened ones. It is not to create belief but to strengthen knowledge. King Laman dies—his people are wild and ferocious and believe in false traditions—Zeniff and his people prevail against them. About 187-160 Before Christ. And it came to pas that we again began to establish the kingdom and we gain began to possess the land in peace. And I caused that there should be weapons of war made of every kind, that thereby I might have weapons for my people against the time the Lamanites should come up again to war against me people. And I set guards round about the land, that the Lamanites might not come upon us again unawares and destroy us; and thus I did guard my people and my flocks, and keep them from falling into the hands of our enemies. And it came to pass that we did inherit the land of our fathers for many years, yea, for the space of twenty and two years. And I did cause that the men should till the ground, and raise all manner of grain and all manner of fruit of every kind. And I did cause that women should spin, and toil, and work, and work all manner of fine linen, yea, and cloth of every kind, that we might clothe our nakedness; and thus we did prosper in the land—thus we did have continual peace in the land for the space of twenty and two years. #RandolphHarris 15 of 20
And it came to pass that king Laman died, and his son began to stir his people up in rebellion against my people; therefore they began to prepare for war, and to come up to battle against my people. However, I had sent my spies out round about the land of Shemlon, that I might discover their preparations, that I might guard against them, that they might not come upon my people and destroy them. And it came to pass that they came up upon the north of the land of Shilom, with their numerous hosts, men armed with bows, and with arrows, and with swords, and with cimeters, and with stones, and with slings; and they had their heads shaved that they were naked; and they were girded with a leathern gridle about their loins. And it came to pass that I caused that the women and children of my people should be hid in the wilderness; and I also caused that all my old men that could bear arms, and also all my young men that were able to bear arms, should gather themselves together to go to battle against the Lamanites; and I did place them in their ranks, every man according to his age. And it came to pass that we did go up to battle against the Lamanites; and I, even I, in my old age, did go up to battle against the Lamanites. And it came to pass that we did go up in the strength of the Lord to battle. #RandolphHarris 16 of 20
Now, the Lamanites knew nothing concerning the Lord, nor the strength of the Lord, therefore they depended upon their own strength. Yet they were a strong people, as to the strength of humans. They were a wild, and ferocious, and blood thirsty people, believing in the tradition of their fathers, which is this—Believing that they were driven out of the land of Jerusalem because of the iniquities of their fathers, and that they were wronged in the wilderness by their brethren, and they were also wronged while crossing the sea; and again, that they were wronged while in the land of their first inheritance, after they had crossed the sea, and all this because that Nephi was more faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord—therefore he was favored of the Lord, for the Lord heard his prayers and answered them, and he took the lead of their journey in the wilderness. And his brethren were wroth with hum because they understood not the dealings of the Lord; they were also wroth with him upon the waters because they hardened their hearts against the Lord. And again, they were wroth with him when they had arrived in the promised land, because they said that he had taken the ruling of the people out of their hands; and they sought to kill him. #RandolphHarris 17 of 20
And again, they were worth with him because he departed into the wilderness as the Lord had commanded him, and took the records which were engraven on the plates of brass, for they said that he robbed them. And thus they have taught their children that they should hate them, and that they should murder them, and that they should rob and plunder them, and do all they could to destroy them; therefore they have an eternal hatred towards the children of Nephi. For this very cause has king Laman, by his cunning, and lying craftiness, and his fair promises, deceived me, that I have brought this my people up into this land, that they may destroy them; yes, and we have suffered these many years in the land. And now I, Zeniff, after having told all these things unto my people concerning the Lamanites, I did stimulate them to go to battle with their might, putting their trust in the Lord; therefore, we did contend with them, face to face. And it came to pass that we did drive them again out of our land; and we slew them with a great slaughter, even so many that we did not number them. And it came to pass that we returned again to our own land, and my people again began to tend their flocks, and to till their ground. #RandolphHarris 18 of 20
And now I, being old, did confer the kingdom upon one of my sons; therefore, I say no more. And may the Lord bless my people. Amen. The philosophic teacher leaves to the individual pupil how one shall apply these principles to one’s own life, and does not try to chalk out precise details of such a practice for one. One’s unwillingness to give specific advice on practical personal matters should not be construed as unwillingness to help, or as lack of interest in them. It is only that one wants the solution to come straight out of the student’s own being, so that the growth will be the student’s too. O God, I know that I often do Thy work without Thy power, and sin by my cold, heartless, blind service, my lack of inward light, love, delight, my mind, heart, tongue moving without Thy help. I see sin in my heart in seeking the approbation of others; this is my vileness, to make human’s opinion my rule, whereas I should see what good I have done, and give Thee glory, consider what sin I have committed and mourn for that. It is my deceit to preach, and pray, and to stir up others’ spiritual affections in order to beget commendations, whereas my rule should be daily to consider myself more vile than any human in my own eyes. #RandolphHarris 19 of 20
However, Thou does show Thy power by my frailty, so that the more feeble I am, the more fit to be used, for Thou does pitch a tent of grace in my weakness. Please help me to rejoice in my infirmities and give Thee praise, to acknowledge my deficiencies before others and not be discouraged by them, that they may see Thy glory more clearly. Please teach me that I must act by a power supernatural, whereby I can attempt things above my strength, and bear evils beyond my strength, acting for Christ in all, and having His superior power to help me. Let me learn of Paul whose presence was mean, his weakness great, his utterance contemptible, yet Thou did account him faithful and blessed. Lord, let me lean on Thee as he did, and find my ministry thine. Almighty and everlasting God, please bring us to the fellowship of Heavenly joys; that Thou mayest vouchsafe an entrance into Thy kingdom to those that are born again of the Holy Ghost, and that the lowly flock may reach that place whither the mighty Shepherd had gone before; through the same Jesus Christ our Lord. Please hear us, O Almighty God; and as Thou hast bestowed on Thy family the perfect grace of Baptism, so do Thou dispose their hearts to the attainment of eternal bliss; though Jesus Christ our Lord. #RandolphHarris 20 of 20
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Love is Not Cancelled–Human Nature is so Well Disposed Toward those Who are in Interesting Situations!
We have learned that we cannot live alone, in peace; that our own well-being is dependent on the well-being of other nations, far away…We have learned to be citizens of the World, members of the human community. We need greater virtues to bear good fortune than bad. Getting past the “E” word is important. Etiquette is the conductive or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social official life. There are a lot of specific guidelines that dictate how people should react in a given situation. However, these guidelines exist for a purpose: to help smooth the way for beneficial interactions between people by prescribing the ways in which we are expected to act and react to people around us. When we use the manners that are expected us of, the Heavens do not part, and crowds do not applaud us; life just goes on smoothly, the way it should. Only when we do not use them does the importance of good manners becomes obvious. For example, one manner states that if you say “Hi” or “Good morning” to a person at work, that person should respond in a like manner, since this is the considerate thing to do. So far, so good. However, if you say “Hi,” and your coworker did not say anything in return, what happens? How would that make you feel? You would probably wonder something like this, “Did I do something to annoy him?” or “Does not anybody ever notice that I exist?” or even “Do I look too attractive?” #RandolphHarris 1 of 21
Manner matter. Use them, and you will make the best impression possible. Still, no one can possibly know all the manners there are or remember precisely how to apply them in every situation. Etiquette is governed by three principles: consideration, respect, and honesty. These provide the framework for defining every manner that has ever been formulated. Each of these principles is timeless. These principles transcend cultural boundaries, cross socioeconomic boundaries, and apply equally to all ages. Consideration is understanding how other people and entities are affected by whatever is taking place. Consideration is empathy. It helps us to assess how a situation affects everyone involved, and then act accordingly. Respect is recognizing that how you interact with another person will affect your relationship with that person, and then choosing to take actions that will build relationships rather than injure them. Respect helps us decide how to choose to act toward others. Honesty is being truthful, not deceptive. There is a critical difference, too, between benevolent and brutal honesty: “I have a problem with that” verses “That is a stupid thing to say.” Honesty ensures that we act sincerely. Etiquette is a code of treating people—and making choices based on—consideration, respect and honesty. #RandolphHarris 2 of 21
When you apply the principles of consideration, respect, and honesty consistently, etiquette becomes a tool that lets you build better relationships and be more successful in every aspect of your life. Etiquette is not about doing what is correct. Etiquette is about doing what is right. To be fair, most men’s inconsiderate or disrespectful behaviour is not intentional. Men frequently get lost in their thoughts and go to far-off places in their minds without even realizing the journey has started or considering the consequences. That is when they get in trouble. Men get it right some of the time, but they do not generally spend enough effort really thinking through how their actions will affect the people around them. And that is what good etiquette really is: thinking about what the considerate, respectful things to do would be, and then doing it. By thinking about our behaviour, we turn each action into a conscious choice. The more we practice making those choices, the more often we will make good choices—and the better our lives and the lives of our loved ones will be. And that is what makes etiquette worth the effort. Consideration for the rights and feelings of others is not merely a rule for behaviour in public but the very foundation upon which social life is built. #RandolphHarris 3 of 21
The first rule of etiquette—which hundreds of others merely paraphrase or explain or elaborate—is: Never do anything that is unpleasant to others. The art of etiquette really comes down to being thoughtful of the people you encounter in your everyday life. We all tend to associate “proper behaviour” with formal social events—but true etiquette involves behaving with consideration and respect for others in everything that you do, from attending a high-society soiree to simply hanging around the house. Seven key behaviours that are considered bad habits are adjusting, nose picking, swearing, spitting, smoking and chewing tobacco, sloppy dressing, wearing a hat where they should not. The smell of smoke and the health implications of secondhand smoke are bad enough. And the casual way smokers toss their cigarette filters on the ground causes fires that ravage the forests. One cigarette filter carelessly tossed out a car window could do immense damage and cost lives. Please, if you have just got to smoke, dispose of the filter appropriately and safely. Also, dominating the communication makes one look as if one does not listen well. The underlying goal of being respectful and responsible is to treat your significant other like an equal but not like one of the guys. #RandolphHarris 4 of 21
You love your significant other, you care for her, you share your life with her. So focus on the qualities that engender those emotions in you and then let her know by talking optimistically about her. The fact is, however, etiquette is not about momentous acts. It is about smoothing the way through life for ourselves and the people around us. Burping and passing gas: It is remarkable how often these came up. While both are bodily functions that sometimes escape without warning, for the most part, it is possible to delay the inevitable until you move away or retire to a restroom. The feelings of our heart, the agitation of our passions, the vehemence of our affections, dissipate all its conclusions, and reduce the profound philosopher to a mere plebeian. Preserving conversation is a discernment and delicacy which arises from polite letters. Humans are reasonable beings; and as such, receives from their science proper food and nourishment: However, so narrow are the bounds of human understanding, that little satisfaction can be hoped for in this particular, either from the extent or security of one’s acquisitions. Humans are a sociable, no less than reasonable being: However, neither can one always enjoy company agreeable and amusing, or preserve the proper relish for them. #RandolphHarris 5 of 21
Humans are also active beings; and from that disposition, as well as from the various necessities of human life, must submit to business and occupation: However, the mind requires some relaxation, and cannot always support its bent to care and industry. It seems, then, that nature has pointed out a mixed kind of life as most suitable to human race, and secretly admonished them to allow none of these biases to draw too much, so as to incapacitate them for other occupations and entertainments. Indulge your passion for science, but let your science be human, and such as may have a direct reference to action and society. The political implications of person-centered education are clear: the student retains one’s own power and the control over oneself; one shares in the responsible choices and decisions; the facilitator provides the climate for these aims. The growing, seeking person is the politically powerful force. This process of learning represents a revolutionary about-face from the politics of traditional education. What is it that causes a teacher to reverse the politics of the classroom? The reasons are multiple. First I cite my own experience. As my point of view in therapy became more and more trusting of the capacity of the individual, I could not help but question the approach. #RandolphHarris 6 of 21
If I saw clients as trustworthy and basically capable of discovering themselves and guiding their lives in an ambience I was able to create, why could I not create the same kind of climate with graduate students and foster a self-guided process of learning? So, at the University of Chicago, I began to try. I ran into far more resistance and hostility than I did with my clients. I believe this had the result of making me more defensively rigid, putting all the responsibility on the class rather than recognizing myself as a part of the learning group. I made many mistakes, and sometimes doubted the wisdom of the whole approach. Yet with all my initial clumsiness the result were astonishing. Students worked harder, earned more, did more creative thinking than in any of my previous classes. So I preserved, and improved, I believed, in my ability as a facilitator. Although I began to talk and write about my experience, and some of my students worked in similar ways with classes they were conducting, there was always the nagging doubt that perhaps this procedure worked simply because of something in me, or some peculiar attitudes we had developed in Counseling Center at Chicago. Consequently it was enormously supportive to find that others had gone through similar struggles, were adopting the principles we had outlined, and were having parallel—indeed almost identical—experiences. #RandolphHarris 7 of 21
However, sometimes the students who have been clamoring for freedom are definitely frightened when they realize that it also means responsibility. There is also a healthy skepticism as to the reality of the change. Let one not think the teacher brutal for pouncing on one’s faults. One of the first duties of a spiritual guide is to correct the beginner, show where one has mistaken one’s way, and expose one’s fallacies of thought, and conduct. A competent guide will be quick to perceive and fearless to point out these matters however unpleasant a duty it be and however unpalatable to the pupil. It is part of the task of a spiritual director to point out tactfully but firmly the faults and deficiencies of one’s disciples, to make them more aware of what is needed in their moral self-correction. The spiritual director who is over-sever in one’s correction of the aspirant’s faults, needs correcting oneself. The paternal spiritual guide who coddles one’s bleating disciples renders than a disservice. It is a common experience with abbots of monasteries in the West and with self-actualized beings in the East that attention given to one disciple may rouse the ego’s conceit in one and the ego’s envy in others. The guide who refuses to appease the ego of those who approached one, may nevertheless be eager to help them. Yet they will resent one’s counsel and feel rebuffed! #RandolphHarris 8 of 21
They do not see that one is trying to help them in a wiser way by showing them how to help themselves. Only longer time and further experience may bring them to their sense and show them the logic of one’s advice and the prudence of one’s attitude. Sometimes placing the power of choice in the hands of the student brings a totally different sense of responsibility, and much greater effort. There may be an increase in self-insight, and a growing sense of maturity. When there is a person-centered approach in the classroom, all of these are typical outcomes. “Because I disliked school, I was surprised to find out how well I can study and learn when I am not forced to do it.” “I have never read so much in my life.” “Various ‘free’ discussions have helped me a lot to understand myself.” “It was like I was an adult—not supervised and guided all the time.” Not everyone has been so fortunate in attempting a person-centered approach. Joann Lipshires took over the teaching of three high school seminars in Human Relationships. She had great difficulty working through the problem of negative feelings—her own and those of the students. She thought one of the seminars was “a disaster.” However, her department chair-person encouraged her to continue, and gradually she could say that “I believe that my efforts finally have been successful in providing young people with something they desperately need.” #RandolphHarris 9 of 21
When she restricted her seminars to fifteen students, provided a more relaxed and comfortable environment, and made a rule that put-downs or killer comments would not be tolerated, her seminars began to follow the patterns that have become familiar. Students were almost unanimously favourable. Her report adds two other aspects that are not always so well documented. She shows how the changes in the school atmosphere, including a greater self-respect, and an improved ability to listen to others affects the politics of the family. Here is one student’s report: “By listening to my mother at home I learned to care about her as well as the things she has to say. I no longer classify her ‘mother’ or ‘parent’ (which to me is a sign of authority which I would defy under any circumstances) but as another human being who deserves just as much love and attention as I or anyone else does. We do not try to change each other’s thoughts on life anymore but we try to change each other’s thoughts on life anymore but we try to understand them first.” A parent of a sophomore who had taken Human Relations had this comment to make: “As a parent of a child who has taken the course Human Relations I would like to recommend it for other students. This course gave my children a chance to think about herself in many ways. #RandolphHarris 10 of 21
“It made her realize why she said things and how she felt about others. Her sense of values seems to have taken on a more optimistic form. The honesty in dealing with one’s feelings makes for a better person. I believe this is the type of course that could be taught in grade school.” In addition Ms. Lipshires has the report of two observers—student teachers assigned by the Education Department of a nearby college—on the discipline in her seminars. The reports have a similar tone: “Not only do they enjoy the class, but the trust the teacher places in them is returned by the students’ efforts to keep the class going and orderly.” “Discipline is a problem for most teachers. It is always viewed as the students walking al over the teacher’s authority—‘these kids have no respect!’ In Human Relations there never seems to be any serious discipline problems or even any smaller troubles, like getting everyone’s attention in class. The teacher is the key: she always expresses herself in terms of honest and real feelings and had enormous respect for the feelings of her students.” There could scarcely be a clearer statement of the way discipline by external authority is changed to self-discipline. The spiritual leader who is always soft and sentimental may help some of one’s pupils but one would help them more if, at the same time, one were also hard and firm. #RandolphHarris 11 of 21
The first attitude will attract more to a teacher, but without the second to balance it, neither one nor they will get the proper view of life. A true teacher must warn one’s followers against false expectations and irredeemable promises. One of the first tasks of a philosophy teacher is to restrain the missionary fervour of one’s younger pupils and to impress upon them the need of caution, great discernment, and even secrecy in this matter. It is not enough that one has the penetration to perceive the truth; one must also have the courage to tell it to one’s disciples, even though one knows it will shock them. The self-actualizes whose ego still harbours vanity will find it flattered by every new disciple, will be endangered afresh by every widening of one’s personal influence. One finds that the disciples come to one for their emotional comfort, they do not come for their ego’s emotional quietus. They want to remain enclosed in its little circle, not to be taken completely out of it. The kind of master needed and sought after by those who are on the religio-mystic-occult path is one who will take a keen interest in their personal life as well as spiritual welfare, one who is always willing to help them with any and every problem, one who by virtue of residence or correspondence is always and quickly available to them. The philosophic master is not like this but of a different kind. #RandolphHarris 12 of 21
One is not a missionary telling others that they must follow the Quest but an educator telling them that they may follow it if they so choose. The title “leader” implies its corollary “follower.” However, a spiritual leader of the kind here described does not want a mass of followers trailing behind one in a partisan spirit. It is enough for one to give others a few inspirations, ideas, insights, and yet leave them free to work on the material as they wish, unobligated to join any movement. It is needful for you to understand that a philosophic teacher never really wants anyone to follow one but only to follow Truth. Sokrates humorously described himself as practising the same vocation as one’s mother who was a midwife—the only difference between them being that whereas she helped women to deliver themselves of infants, he helped people to deliver themselves of the true ideas with which their minds were in labour. His business, like that of all genuine teachers, was not to impart truth as something new and foreign but to assist the student to elicit it from within oneself. Every genuine teacher tries in one’s work to lead the student’s mind in such a way that one’s thinking gradually changes without one’s becoming conscious of the fact at the time, although one will recognize it in retrospect. #RandolphHarris 13 of 21
Sokrates makes students think for themselves; stimulates them to solve their own metaphysical, personal, and emotional problems; periodically gives an inner mystical impetus to their meditation practice; and points out the pitfalls and fallacies which lie in their life-path. Because his outlook is so disinterested, because his primary purpose is to liberate and not limit them, to give and not get, such a teacher’s services can never be bought by anyone—although they may be claimed by those who are prepared to cast off the shoes of conventional prejudice at one’s door and who are willing to refrain loyally from imposing upon one their preconceived notions of what characteristics the teaching, the teacher, and the quest should possess. Thus if one will not shackle them, they are in their turn must not shackle one. Such would-be disciples are rare, but such teachers who practise what they preach are rarer still. Jesus as the Christ is the bearer of the New Being in the totality of his being, not in any special expression of it. Various Christologies have concentrated on his words, and his deeds or his suffering. These are enlightening if not cut off from he being of Christ. However, rationalism separated his words, pietism his deeds, and orthodoxy his suffering from his being; these systems forgot that the being of Christ is his work and that his work is his being, namely, the New Being which is his being. #RandolphHarris 14 of 21
When theologians overlook the being of Christ they cannot place the New Bring at the center of their thought. Concentrating on one’s acts, they unavoidably distort their meaning and relevance. They then no longer relate the Christ to the universal quest for a conquest of estrangement. This makes the Christ himself a stranger in humankind. On the contrary, we should remember that the traditional symbols of “salvation,” “redemption,” “grace,” “atonement,” “meditation” as applied to the function of the Christ, emphasize the universality of his role. The New Being in the Christ has universal significance. It is universally expected. On account of this, “Jesus as the Christ is the Saviour through the universal significance of his being as the New Being. What is his significance? Simply that the revelatory correlation in which Peter acknowledged his Messiahship remains revelatory for every human. While Peter was directly thrown into it, being face to face with the Christ in the flesh, we are in a different position. It is the same situation, but the participants in it are removed from it in time and space. The original miracle, together with its original reception, is the permanent point of reference, while the spiritual reception by following generations changes continuously. A whole ecclesiology is evidently implied in this statement. #RandolphHarris 15 of 21
The Church will be the community in which one experiences the original revelatory correlation in which Jesus was acknowledged as the Christ. The main point here is that this revelatory constellation has universal score. In this sense it is final, not that no more revelations may take place, but that all other revelations will be subordinated to it. The revelatory event in Jesus as the Christ. He is the miracle of the final revelation, and his reception is the ecstasy of the final revelation. His appearance is the decisive constellation of historical (and by participation, natural) forces. It is the ecstatic moment of human history and, therefore, its center, giving meaning to all possible and actual history…But it is only for those who received him as the final revelation, namely as the Messiah, the Christ, the Man-from-above, the Son of God, the Spirit, the Logos-who-became-flesh, the New Being. “I, Zeniff, having been taught in all the language of the Nephites, and having had a knowledge of the land of Nephi, or of the land of our fathers’ first inheritance, and having been sent as a spy among the Lamanites that I might spy out of their forces, that our army might come upon them and destroy them—but when I saw that which was good among them I was desirous that they should not be destroyed. #RandolphHarris 16 of 21
“Therefore, I contented with my brethren in the wilderness, for I would that our ruler should make a treaty with them; but he being an austere and a blood-thirsty man commanded that I should be slain; but I was rescued by the shedding of much blood; for father fought against father, and brother against brother, until greater number of our army was destroyed in the wilderness and we returned, those of us that were spared, to the land of Zarahemla, to relate that tale to their wives and their children. And yet, I being over-zealous to inherit the land of our fathers, collected as many as were desirous to go up to possess the land, and started again on our journey into the wilderness to go up to the land; but were smitten with famine and sore afflictions; for we were slow to remember the Lord our God. Nevertheless, after many days’ wandering in the wilderness we pitched our tents in the place where our brethren were slain, which was near to the land of our fathers. And it came to pass that I went again with four of my men into the city, in unto the king, that I might know of the disposition of the king, and that I might know if I might go in with my people and possess the land in peace. And I went in unto the king, and he covenanted with me that I might possess the land of Lehi-Nephi, and the land of Shilom. #RandolphHarris 17 of 21
“And he also commanded that his people should depart out of the land, and I and my people went into the land that we might possess it. And we began to build buildings, and to repair the walls of the city, yea, even the walls of the city of Lehi-Nephi, and the city of Shilom. And we began to till the ground, yea, even with all manner of seeds, with seeds of corn, and of wheat, and of barely, and with neas, and with sheum, and with seeds of all manner of fruits; and we did begin to multiply and prosper in the land. Now it was the cunning and the craftiness of king Laman, to bring my people into bondage, that he yielded up the land that we might possess it. Therefore it came to pass, that after we had dwelt in the land for the space of twelve years that king Laman began to grow uneasy, lest by any means my people should wax strong in the land, and that they could not overpower them and bring them into bondage. Now they were a lazy and an idolatrous people; therefore they were desirous to bring us into bondage, that they might glut themselves with the labours of our hands; yea, that they might feast themselves upon the flocks of our fields. Therefore it came to pass that king Laman began to stir up his people that they should contend with my people; therefore there began to be wars and contentions in the land. #RandolphHarris 18 of 21
“For, in the thirteenth year of my reign in the land of Nephi, away on the south of the land of Shilom, when my people were watering and feeding their flocks, and tilling their lands, a numerous host of Lamanites came upon them and began to slay them, and to take off their flocks, and the corn of their fields. Yea, and it came to pass that they fled, all that were not overtaken, even into the city of Nephi, and did call upon me for protection. And it came to pass that I did arm them with bows, and with arrows, and swords, and with cimeters, and with clubs, and with slings, and with all manner of weapons which we could invent, and I and my people did go forth against the Lamanites to battle. Yea, in the strength of the Lord did we go forth to battle against the Lamanites; for I and my people did cry mightily to the Lord that he would deliver us out of the hands of our enemies, for we were awakened to a remembrance of the deliverance of our fathers. And God did hear our cries and did answer our prayers; and we did go forth in his might; yea, we did go forth against the Lamanites, and in one day and a night we did play three thousand and forty-three; we did slay them even until we had driven them out of our land. #RandolphHarris 19 of 21
“And I, myself, with mine own hands, did help to bury their dead. And behold, to our great sorrow and lamentation, two hundred and seventy-none of our brethren were slain,” reports Mosiah 9.1-19. O my Lord, let not my ministry be approved only by humans, or merely win the esteem and affections of my people; but do the work of grace in their hearts, call in Thy elect, seal and edify the regenerate ones, and command eternal blessings on their souls. Save me from self-opinion and self-seeking; water the hearts of those who hear Thy word, that seed sown in weakness may be raised in power; cause me and those that hear me to behold Thee here in the light of special faith, and hereafter in the blaze of endless glory; please make my every sermon a means of grace to myself, and please help me to experience the power of Thy dying love, for Thy blood is balm, Thy presence bliss, Thy smile Heaven, Thy cross the place where truth and mercy meet. Look upon the doubts and discouragements of my ministry and keep me from self-importance; I beg pardon for my many sins, omissions, infirmities, as a man, as a minister; please command Thy blessing on my weak, unworthy labours, and on the message of salvation given; please stay with Thy people, and may Thy presence be their portion and mine. #RandolphHarris 20 of 21
When I preach to others please let not my word be merely elegant and masterly, my reasoning polished and refined, my performance powerless and tasteless, but may I exalt Thee and humble sinners. O Lord of power and grace, all hearts are in Thy hands, all events at Thy disposal, set the seal of Thy almighty will upon my ministry. The Apostles’ Creed, scholars believe, dates from After Death 250 and is the oldest creedal affirmation to attain universal acceptance. The purpose of the Creed is to make a Trinitarian confession and to affirm our solidarity with the universal Church of the ages. To do this properly the Creed must never be recited, but confessed. That is, one’s heart and mind must work together to genuinely affirm authentic belief. The “Gloria Parti” (Doxology) is mean to draw us upward in music for the purpose for which we have come—to give glory to God. It should be sung with our whole heart. O God, Who restores us unto eternal life by Christ’s Resurrection, fulfill the ineffable mystery of Thy loving-kindness; that when our Saviour shall come in His majesty, as Thou hast made us to be regenerated in Baptism, so Thou mayest make us to be clothed with a blessed immortality; through the same our Lord Jesus Christ. #RandolphHarris 21 of 21
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No matter how urgent our social needs are, all of us have needs for solitude, for times alone with ourselves. Again, the optimum selfhood experience includes a balance of solitariness, sociality, and peripheral interactions (“spectatorship”). There is in each of us a need for privacy and time alone. It is not so much a need to reject or repudiate others as it is a need to go within, to get acquainted or re-acquainted with our selfhood. We like to roam about our own house with no one to disturb us. Modern psychology had very modest beginnings. It set out to study memory, acoustic and visual phenomena, the association of ideas, and the psychology of animals. Wilhelm Wundt was perhaps the most important and influential figure in those early days of modern psychology. Psychologists then did not write for the general public, and they were not particularly well known. They wrote for their colleagues, and only a few novices showed any interest in their work and publications. When it shifted its focus to the motives behind human behaviour, that situation changed radically, however, and psychology started gaining in popularity. That field of inquiry has dominated psychology for the last hundred years. It concerns us all, of course, for we all want to know what it is that motivates us and why we act on the motives we do rather than on quite different ones. #RandolphHarris 1 of 23
If psychology can promise us some clarity on those questions, then it can obviously be of great value to us. And so it was that motivational psychology became perhaps the most popular of all sciences, and in recent decades it has, if anything, gained popularity rather than lost. Every human action has a motive behind it, and in every case that motive is an independent and innate instinct. We are born with instincts in us just as animals are. If we are aggressive, the reason is our aggressive instinct. If we are servile, blame our servile instinct; if we are avaricious, our avaricious instinct; if we are jealous, chalk that up to our jealous instinct; if we enjoy cooperation, then that is our cooperative instinct at work. If we are quick to flee danger, that is our flight instinct, and so on and so forth. Indeed, if we tally up all the instincts the instinct theoreticians have come up with, the final count comes to about two hundred different instincts, each one of which will motivate a certain kind of human behaviour, just as a key on a piano will, when pressed, produce a certain note. However, the problem with this extremely interesting edifice is that it is not properly constructed. It is actually not a building at all but only a mental construction that has no basis in reality at all. Human aggression can be traced back to a more or less innate aggressive instinct. #RandolphHarris 2 of 23
One weakness of instinct theory is its tendency to oversimplify. It is just too simple an answer to postulate an instinct for every single bit of human behaviour, and such postulation does not really explain anything. All it says is that actions have motives, that different actions have their own distinct motives, and that those motives are innate. However, none of that could be proved for most of the so-called instincts. There are a few—such as defensive aggression, flight, and also, to certain degree, behaviour involving pleasures of the flesh, though here we are even less sure of our ground—in which quasi-instinctive elements are present. However, here we must not overlook the fact that learning, the influence of culture and society, can significantly modify even those innate drives, so much so that in both humans and animals subjected to such modification the drives may almost disappear or, on the other hand, become greatly accentuated. The other weakness of the theory was that some instincts were strongly developed in some individuals and cultures yet almost nonexistent in others. There are, for example, primitive tribes that are extremely aggressive while others display practically no aggressiveness at all. The same has held true for individuals. #RandolphHarris 3 of 23
If someone comes to a psychiatrist today and says, “Doctor, I am so furious I would like to do something I cannot return from,” the psychiatrist does not say, “Aha, the aggressive instinct is very strong in this man.” Instead, he makes a diagnosis more along these lines: “This man must be ill. This aggressiveness he is expressing, this hatred that has built up inside him, is a sign of illness.” If the man’s aggressiveness were motivated by instinct, it would be normal, natural behaviour and not a symptom of illness. We find, too—and this is very important—that the most primitive of peoples, the hunter-gathers, the people at the very earliest beginnings of civilization, were the least aggressive of all human beings. If aggressiveness were innate, then it should have been most evident in the hunter-gatherers. In fact, just the opposite is true. It was the growth of civilization, starting about 4000 Before Christ; it was the creation of large cities, kingdoms, hierarchies, armies; it was the invention of war, the invention of slavery—and I use the word “invention” deliberately here, because neither of those things occur in nature—it was all these things that provided breeding grounds for sadism, aggression, and the desire to subjugate and destroy, ills that never existed to anywhere near that same degree among primitive, prehistoric peoples. #RandolphHarris 4 of 23
It was the weakness in the instinct theory that prompted the behaviourists to propose a totally contrary view. They maintain that absolutely nothing is innate in us and that everything people do is the result of social conditions and of very clever manipulation on the part of society or of the family. Concepts like freedom and dignity are thought by B.F. Skinner to be “pure fictions. They do not exist at all but are simply products of influencing human beings in such a way that they will think they want to be free. Neither a desire for freedom nor a sense of human dignity is inherent in human nature.” Let me give you a simple example of the theory at work. Little Leo will not eat his spinach. If his mother punishes him, she will not—as many parents know—get very far. And Skinner agrees that punishment is not the correct method. There should be no great lectures about spinach. It should simply be served. And if little Leo nibbles at it, then his mother should give him a friendly smile and promise him an extra piece of cake. The next time the spinach appears on the table, little Leo will be more inclined to eat it. Once again he wins his mother’s smile, and this time she gives him a piece of chocolate. And so things continue until little Leo is conditioned, that is, until he had learned that he will get a reward if he eats his spinach. #RandolphHarris 5 of 23
Who does not like rewards? And after that a while Leo will eat his spinach with pleasure, preferring it to any other vegetable. Now it is true that things can work out just that way. Skinner has invested a great deal of effort in finding the cleverest ways to do this sort of thing. The reward is not automatically repeated every time, for instance. It is omitted once, then reintroduced. Many ingenious studies and experiments have been made to see how people can best be seduced, how rewards can be used to make them do what the person giving out the rewards wants them to do. Skinner is not interested in why the manipulator wants people to do what one asks them to do, for Skinner does not think that values can have any objective meaning. If we reflect on the situation of a psychologist in one’s laboratory, then it is easy enough to understand Skinner’s position. Whether the animals eat or do not eat is not of much interests. The only think of interest is whether one can induce them, with one method or another, to eat or not to eat. And since behavioursts regard human beings too, themselves included, as guinea pigs, they are not interested in the question of why and to what end they condition others. They are interested in only two things: whether they can condition someone and how they can do it best. #RandolphHarris 6 of 23
The behaviourist separates human behaviour from human beings. One does not study people in the process of behaving; one studies only the product, and the product is behaviour. The human being who generates that behaviour is expressly put to one side. Human beings as such are unimportant; they are the subject of philosophy, of speculation. What interest the behaviourist is what people do. One chooses to ignore the question of why such astonishingly large numbers of people do not react the way they should react if the theory were correct. One is not disturbed by the fact that many people rebel, refuse o conform, do not fall for the subtle bribes that are ultimately the essence of this whole theory. The theory assumes that most people prefer to be bribed rather than to be themselves and to realize the potential of their own natures and talents. Instinct theory and behaviourism have one thing in common despite the great differences between them. Neither allows human beings the slightest control over their own lives. Instinct theory sees humans driven by impulses that lie far back in one’s human and animal pas. Behaviourism sees humans driven by whatever social constructs and conditions happen to be in effect. One is as dominated by the opportunistic and seductive tricks of one’s society as the human of instinct is by the history of one’s species. #RandolphHarris 7 of 23
However, neither of the two, neither human model as proposed by the two theories, is based on what humans actually want, what one is, what is in accordance with one’s nature. The two major schools account for the greater part of what does by the name of “modern psychology” today. And I should ass that behavioristic psychology professors at American universities are behavioursts, and Soviet psychology follows very similar paths for obvious political reasons. Christianity claims the Essential Godmanhood has, in a concrete event and a concrete human, appeared within the conditions of existence, inside the weft of history, without falling from essence and without being distorted by the ebb and flow of existence. In Christ “Eternal Goodmanhood” had been seen. When it was seen Jesus was known as the Christ, the expectation of humankind finally fulfilled, the One who brings in the new eon, the New Being. Jesus is the Christ for us. And because the Christ means Essential Godmanhood, the Christ is God-for-us. Jesus would not have been the Christ, and, as the Christ, he would not have been the manifestation of Eternal Godmanhood, if humanity had not acknowledged him. For there is no revelatory situation without the ecstasy of recognition in which one discovers a manifestation of being-itself. #RandolphHarris 8 of 23
The symbol of the Christ, therefore, which is borrowed from the Jewish conception of the Messiah, or King, or Anointed, can easily be distorted. Jesus as the Christ must not be seen as a God walking on Earth, as a divine-human automaton without serious temptation, real struggle, or tragic involvement in the ambiguities of life. This would be a misunderstood myth. It could not be the manifestation of a reality in which one partakes. It would not be the revelation of the ground of being. Caught in existential estrangement, humans could not grasp the meaning of a divine-human avatar. A human being names Jesus who would not be subject to the involvements of existence could not be revelatory since humans could not step into the non-existential theological circle where one would make sense. On the contrary, the Christ has been known, touched with our hands, seen with our eyes. And he has been known, not only as a man named Jesus, but as Jesus who is called the Christ. This means that in Jesus we have the picture of a personal life which is subjected to all the consequences of existential estrangement but wherein existential estrangement is conquered in oneself and a permanent unity is kept with God. The ground of being, which we only perceive in hope, to which we are unconditionally committed without the evidence that we are in contact with it, dominated the ambiguities of existence in Christ. #RandolphHarris 9 of 23
Under its power, the power, the Christ did not undergo original sin; his existence did not imply a fall: it maintained in its integrality the dominion of Essential Goodmanhood over the tragedies of life. The universal quest of humankind has been for this return to unity, for this recovery of the ground of being which supports us and from which we are estranged. To perceive it in the Christ is to hear the good news that the Christ is the one who brings in the new eon, to expect the coming of a new state of things through him, the state of things in which we ourselves have recovered Essential Godmanhood and have risen from the state of estrangement to that of reunion with being-itself. The symbol of New Being is human’s quest to conquer the dichotomy between subject and object. New Being is essential being under the conditions of existence, conquering the gap between essence as existence. This symbol itself can misread. The Bing which is manifested in Christ is new indeed, but not in the sense that is has done away with the circumstances of estrangement that mark existential being. Tragedy is still here, but henceforth it has been conquered. It is there, but no longer as victorious. The New Being is new insofar as it is the undistorted manifestation of essential being insofar as it is the undistorted manifestation of essential being within and under the conditions of existence. #RandolphHarris 10 of 23
It is new in two respects: it is new in contrast to the merely potential character of essential being; and it is new over against the estranged character of existential being. In the Christ alone, human’s relation to the ground of being is fully actual and fully undistorted. In ourselves, subject as we are to existential estrangement, Godmanhood is only potential; it is a state of dreaming innocence in which we never were and from which, speaking symbolically, we feel when we came into being. Our actual being is divorced from it, and the constant dream of human has been for a return to the beginning, a restoration of that which has been lost because never had it, innocence, essence, Godmanhood. This is the New Being we long for. In Christ it has been manifested. Essential being has come o existence without distortion. Innocence has become experience without losing its pristine virginity. Estrangement has been conquered. The New Being has appeared in a personal life. We want to communicate to you an experience we have had that here and there in the World and now and then in ourselves is a New Creation, usually hidden, but sometimes manifest, and certainly manifest in Jesus who is called the Christ. #RandolphHarris 11 of 23
Out of their participation in the revelatory situation in which Jesus is perceived to be the Christ, Christians witness to the vision they have had of the New Reality, which is reconciliation, reunion, resurrection. The New Creation, the New Being, the New state of things. As we pray in faith, we become a vital part in the Lord’s work as He prepares the World for His Second Coming. The transcendent events we honour were the beginning of the prophesied last dispensation, in which the Lord is preparing His Church and His people, those who bear His name, to receive Him. As part of our preparation for Hid coming, He will lift each of us so we may rise to spiritual challenges and opportunities. The work of the Lord in these last days, is one of vast magnitude and almost beyond the comprehension of mortals. Its glories are past description, and its grandeur unsurpassable. It is the theme which has animated the bosom of prophets and righteous humans from the creation of the World down through every succeeding generation to the present time; and it is truly the dispensation of the fullness of times, when all things which are in Christ Jesus, whether in Heaven or on Earth, shall be gathered together in Him, and when all things shall be restored, as spoken of by all the holy prophets since the World began; for in it will take place the glorious fulfilment of the promises made to he fathers, while the manifestations of the power of the most High will be great, glorious, and sublime. #RandolphHarris 12 of 23
We feel disposed to go forward and unite our energies for the upbuilding of the Kingdom, and establishing the Priesthood in their fullness and glory. The work which has to be accomplished in the last days is one of vast importance, and will call into action the energy, skill, talent, and ability of the Saints, so that it may roll forth with glory and majesty. “Thou sawest till that a stone was cut out without hands, which smote the image upon his feet that were of iron and clay, and brake them to pieces. Then was the iron, the clay, the brass, the silver, and the gold, broken to pieces together, and became like the chaff of the Summer threshing floors; and the wind carried them away, that no place was found for them: and the stone that smoke the image became a great mountain, and filled the whole Earth. And in the days of these kings shall the God of Heaven set up a kingdom, which shall never be destroyed: and the kingdom shall not be left to other people, but it shall break in pieces and consume all these kingdoms, and it shall stand forever. Forasmuch as thou sawest that the stone was cut out of the mountain without hands, and that it brake in pieces the iron, the brass, the clay, the silver, and the gold; the great God hath made known to the king what shall come to pass hereafter: and the dream is certain, and the interpretation thereof sure,” reports Daniel 2.34-35, 44-45. #RandolphHarris 13 of 23
The effect of standing before God by welcoming him before us will, by contrast, be the transformation of our entire life. All else that enters our mind, and especially the thoughts that first come to mind as we encounter various kinds of event that make up our lives, will be healthy, Godly, and good. The conclusions we “jump” to prompted by events around us will be those in harmony with the realities of a good-God-governed Universe, not the illusions of a Godless or a me-governed Universe, or one where humans are supreme—or no one is. My patterns of thinking will conform to the truth of scriptural revelation, and I will extend and apply those truths, under the guidance of God’s Holy Spirit, to all of the details of my daily life. Am I undertaking some task? Then I in faith do it with God, assuming and finding his power to be involved with me. That is the nature of His kingdom. Is there an emergency? I will mee it with the knowledge that God is in the midst of it with me and will be calm in a center of intense prayer. Am I praised? My thoughts (and feelings) will move immediately to the goodness of God in my life. Am I condemned or reproached? I know that God is supporting and helping me because He loves me and has a future for me. #RandolphHarris 14 of 23
Am I condemned or reproached? I know that God is over all and that He is working things out—that all things work together for good to those who love God and are called into the fulfillment of his purposes. And so forth. I constantly and thoughtfully engage myself with the ideas, images, and information that are provided by God through the Scriptures, His Son Jesus, and the lives and experiences of His people through the ages. In doing that, I am constantly nourished by the Holy Spirit in ways far beyond my own efforts of understanding. What I receive in response to my efforts is therefore also a gift, a grace. Spiritual (trans)formation of my thought life is achieved by the ministry of the Spirit in the midst of my necessary and well-directed efforts. This has special importance when I am faced with the presence of evil and suffering in human life, my own or at large. I realize that I will either allow my view of evil to determine my view of God and will cut Him down accordingly, or I will allow my view of God to determine my view of the evil and will elevate Him accordingly, accepting that nothing is beyond His power for God. King Benjamin continues his address—salvation comes because of the Atonement—Believe in God to be saved—retain a remission of your sins through faithfulness—impart of your substance to the poor—do all things in wisdom and order. About 124 Before Christ. #RandolphHarris 15 of 23
“And now, it came to pass that when king Benjamin had made an end of speaking the words which had been delivered unto him by the Angel of the Lord, that he cast his eyes round about on the multitude, and behold they had fallen to the Earth, for the fear of the Lord had come upon them. And hey had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the Earth. And they all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created Heaven and Earth, and all things; who shall come down among the children of humans. And it came to pass that after they had spoken these words the Spirit of the Lord came upon them, and they were filled with joy, having received a remission of their sins, and having peace of conscience, because of the exceeding faith which they had in Jesus Christ who should come, according to the words which king Benjamin had spoken unto them. And king Benjamin again opened his mouth and began to speak unto them, saying: My friends and my brethren, my kindred and my people, I would again call your attention, that ye may hear and understand the remainder of my words which I shall speak unto you. #RandolphHarris 16 of 23
“For behold, if the knowledge of the goodness of God at this time has awakened you to a sense of your nothingness, and your worthless and fallen state—I say unto you, if ye have come to a knowledge of the goodness of God, and His matchless power, and His wisdom, and His patience, and His long-suffering towards the children of humans; and also, the atonement which has been prepared from the foundation of the World, that thereby salvation might come to one that should put one’s trust in the Lord, and should be diligent in keeping his commandments, and continue in the faith even unto the end f his life, I mean the life of the mortal body—I say, that this is the human wo receives salvation, through the atonement which was prepared from the foundation of the World for all humankind, which ever were since the fall of Adam, or who are, or whoever shall be, even unto the end of the World. And this is the means whereby salvation comes. And there is none other salvation save this which hath been spoken of; neither are there any conditions whereby humans can be saved expect the conditions which I have told you. Believe in God; believe that he is, an that he created all things, both in Heaven and in Earth; believe that He has all wisdom, and all power, both in Heaven and in earth; believe that humans do not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend. #RandolphHarris 17 of 23
“And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourselves before God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would forgive you; and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them. And again I say unto you as I have said before, that as ye have come to knowledge of the glory of God, or if ye have known of His goodness and have tasted of his love, and have received a remission of your sins, which causes such exceedingly great joy in your souls, even so I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own nothingness, and His goodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even in the depth of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come, which was spoken by the mouth of the Angel. And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true. And ye will not have a mind to injure one another, but to live peaceably, and to render to every human according to that which is one’s due. #RandolphHarris 18 of 23
“And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the evil spirit which hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all righteousness. However, ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another. And also, ye yourselves will succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that stands in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar puts up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish. Perhaps thou shalt say: The human has brought oneself one’s misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto one of my substance that one may not suffer, for one’s punishment are just—however, I say unto you, O human, whosoever does this the same has great cause o repent; and except one repents of that which one has done one perishes forever, and has no interests in the kingdom of God. For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind? #RandolphHarris 19 of 23
“And behold, even at this time, ye have been calling on His name, and begging for a remission of your sins. And has he suffered that ye have begged in vain? Nay; he has poured out his Spirit upon you, and has caused that your hearts should be filled with joy, and has caused that your mouths should be stopped that ye could not find utterance, so exceedingly great was your joy. And now, if God, who has created you, on whom you are dependent for your lives and for all that ye have and are, doth grant unto you whatsoever ye ask that is right, in faith, believing that ye shall receive, O then, how ye ought to impart of the substance that ye have one to another. And if ye judge the human who puts up one’s petition to you for your substance that one perish not, and condemn one, how much more just will be your condemnation for withholding your substance, which does not belong to you but to God, to whom also your life belongs and yet ye put up no petition, not repent of the thing which thou hast done. I say unto you, wo be unto that human, for one’s substance shall perish with one; and now, I say these things unto those who are rich as pertaining to the things of this World. And again, I say unto the poor, ye who have not and yet have sufficient, that ye remain from day to day; I mean all you who deny the beggar, because ye have not; I would that ye say in your hearts that: I give not because I have not, but if I had I would give. #RandolphHarris 20 of 23
“And now, if you say this in your hearts ye remain guiltless, otherwise ye are condemned; and your condemnation is just for ye covet that which ye have not received. And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you—that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God—I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every human according to that which one has, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants. And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a human should run faster than one has strength. And again, it is expedient that one should be diligent, that thereby one might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order. And I would that ye should remember, that whosoever among your borrow of one’s neighbour should return the thing that one borrowed, according as one does agree, or else thou shalt commit sin; and perhaps thou shalt cause they neighbour to commit sin also. And finally, I cannot tell you all the things whereby ye may commit sin; for there are divers ways and means, even so many that I cannot number them. #RandolphHarris 21 of 23
“However, this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe them commandments of God, and continue in faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O human, remember, and perish not,” reports Mosiah 4.1-30. O Lord, I bless Thee that the issue of the battle between Thyself and Satan has never been uncertain, and will end in victory. Calvary broke the dragon’s head, and I contend with a vanquished foe, who with all one’s subtlety and strength has already been overcome. When I feel the serpent at my heel may I remember one whose heel was bruised, but who, when bruised, broke the devil’s head. My soul with inward joy extols the mighty conqueror. Heal me of any wounds received in the great conflict; if I have gathered defilement, if my faith has suffered damage, if my hope is less than bright, if my love is not fervent, if some creature-comfort occupies my heart, if my soul sinks under pressure of the fight. O Thou whose every promise is balm, every touch life, draw near to Thy weary warrior, refresh me, that I may rise again to wage the strife, and never tire until my enemy is trodden down. #RandolphHarris 22 of 23
Please give me such fellowship with Thee that I may defy Satan, unbelief, the flesh, the World, with delight that comes not from a creature, and which a creature cannot mar. Give me a draught of the eternal fountain that lies in Thy immutable, everlasting love and decree. Then shall my hand never weaken, my feet never stumble, my sword never rest, my shield never rust, my helmet never shatter, my breastplate never fall, as my strength rests in the power of Thy might. Tasting, O Lord, the fullness of Thy perfect sweetness, we beseech Thee that it may be to us for remission of sins and health of soul, through Thy mercy and grace. Receiving the Cup of the Lord’s Pasion, and tasting the sweetness of His most holy Body, let us give thanks and praise to Him, walking in His house with joy and gladness. We have received the Body of Christ, and drunk His Blood. We will fear no evil, for the Lord is with us. May Thy Blood be always life to us, and salvation of our souls, O our God. LORD our God, mercifully grant that we who have received the Body and Blood of Thine Only-begotten Son, may be far removed from the blindness of the unfaithful disciple, seeing that we confess and worship Christ our Lord, Very God and Humans. Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad. #RandolphHarris 23 of 23
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Preserve in us, O Lord, the gift of Thy grace; that by the power and virtue of the Eucharist which we have received, we may be fortified against all evils of this life and of the life to come. #CresleighHomes
So We Have Asked the Wrong Question: Satan Said to Eve, “You Will be Like God, Knowing Good and Evil!”
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I Will be as Harsh as Truth and as Uncompromising as Justice!
Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony is the most sublime noise that has ever penetrated into the ear of humans. There are jobs at every socioeconomic level that place emotional burdens on the worker, but these burdens may have little to do with the performance of emotional labour. Among the less affluent, where work is often deskilled and boring and the work process beyond the worker’s control, the emotional task is often to suppress feelings of frustration, anger, or fear—and often to suppress feelings of any sort. This can be a terrible burden, but it is not in itself emotion labour. Factory workers, truck drivers, farmers and fisher-people, forklift operators, plumbers and bricklayers, chambermaids in transient hotels, and backroom laundry workers do no on the whole have their emotion work as closely subjected to occupational strictures as those who are in positions of catering to business people, or managing a corporations economic obligations. There are, however, many workers who, in promoting a product or a company, transform their show of personality into a symbol of the company, a clue to the nature of its product. These workers are seldom making the major decisions, but in one way or another they represent the decision-makers—not simply in how they look or what they say but in how, emotionally speaking they seem. #RandolphHarris 1 of 23
The advertising maxim “Never sell what you do not believe in” calls for an act of faith. However, since many workers do not earn as much as their bosses do, they are less likely to be, in a sense, really sold. They are more likely to see emotional labour as no more than work to be better at counting costs. Still higher up are the big corporate decision-makers. For them, political, religious, and philosophic beliefs become more “job relevant,” and the bones between self and work are many and diffuse. Here years of training and experience, mixed with a daily carrot-and-stick discipline, conspire to push corporate feeling rules further and further away from self-awareness. Eventually, these rules about how to see things and how to feel about them come to seem “natural,” a part of one’s personality. The longer the employment and the more rewarding the work in terms of interest, power, and pay, the truer this becomes. At the very top of the upper class are the tycoons, the imperial decision-makers. They assume the privilege of personally setting the informal rules to which underlings eagerly attune themselves, rules designed to suit their own personal dispositions. Their notions of what is funny, what to beware of, how grateful to feel, and how hostile one should be to outsiders will become an official culture for their top employees. #RandolphHarris 2 of 23
This position of having so much power is more than the license to indulge emotional idiosyncrasy, for the idiosyncrasies of the powerless can be happily ignored. It is a subtle and pervasive way of dominating through the enforcement of latent feeling rules for subordinates. Interestingly enough, at the other extreme of the class ladder employees may enjoy almost complete freedom from feeling rules, although they have no right to set them for others. They enjoy the license of the dispossessed. To sum up, jobs that place a burden on feelings are common in all classes, which is one reason why work is defined as work and not play. However, emotional labour occurs only in jobs that require personal contact with the public, the production of a state of mind in others, and (except in the true profession) the monitoring of emotional labour by supervisors. It is mainly in these jobs, where deep and surface acting form an important part of the work, that hating the job can prevent one from doing the job well. What a person does at work may bear an uncanny resemblance to the “job description” of being the child of such a worker at home. Big emotion workers tend to raise little ones. #RandolphHarris 3 of 23
Mothers and fathers teach children letters and numbers and manners and a World view, but they also teach them which zone of the self will later be addressed by rules of work. As research on this topic of the family training ground for the transmutation suggest, working-class parents prepare the child to be controlled more by rules that apply to overt behaviour whereas middle-class parent typically prepare them to be governed more by rules that apply to feelings. There is a distinction between two types of “family control system,” the positional and the personal. In the positional control system, clear and formal rules determine who gets to decide what and who gets to do what. The right to make rules is based on formal attributes, such as age, gender, and parenthood. A “positional family” is not necessarily authoritarian or emotionally cold; it simply bases authority on impersonally assigned status and not on personal feelings. Positional appeals, therefore, are appears to impersonally assigned status. For example, to her son who keeps saying he want to play Twirly Curls Barbie Doll by Mattel, a mother might appeal to gender status: “Little boys do not play with dolls, dolls are for your sister; here, take a He-Man, Masters of the Universe, instead.” #RandolphHarris 4 of 23
In the personal control system, what matter far more than formal status is the feelings of parent and child. Parents back up their appeals by such statements as “because it would mean a lot to me,” or “because I am very tired.” Appeals are also aimed at the child’s feelings. A mother using personal control in the situation above might say: “Why do you want to play with Twirly Curls Barbie Doll? She is so boring. Why not play with He-man?” In positional families, control works against the child’s will. In personal families, control works through that will. Thus a child who says “I do not want to kiss grandpa—why must I kiss him always?” will be answered in different ways. Positional: “Children kiss their grandpa,” and “He is not well—I do not want any of your nonsense.” Personal: “I know you do not like kissing Grandpa, but he is unwell and he is very fond of you.” In the personal family, the child appears to have a choice. If the child questions a rule invoked by the parent, the situation is further explained and the alternatives more clearly elaborated. Given the situation and the positional family, the child is told to act according to a rule, and any questioning of it is answered by an appeal to immutable status: “Why? Because I am your mother, and I say so.” The positional child is told what to do and asked to accept the legitimacy of the order. #RandolphHarris 5 of 23
Working-class families are generally more positional, and middle-class families more personal. Middle-class parents are more likely to sanction what they later infer to be a child’s feeling and intent whereas working-class parents are more likely to sanction behaviour itself. A child asked to “love Aunt Tori” might revel by refusing to love Aunt Tori. The child asked to feel ambitious and “love school” might rebel by hating and disdaining success. If authority in the middle class is more expressed though feeling rules and emotion management—if it is more through these than through riles of outer behaviour that we are governed—hen we would do well to examine rebellion as rebellion against dictates in the realm. A middle-class mother is far more likely to punish her son for losing his temper than for engaging in wild and disruptive physical play. His loss of temper, not his wild play, is what is intolerable. The middle-class child seems to be especially subject to three messages. The first is that the feelings of superiors are important. Feeling is linked to power and authority because it is the reason adults often give for the decision they make. The child grows sensitive to feeling and learns to read well. The second is that a child’s own feelings are important. #RandolphHarris 6 of 23
Feelings are worth paying attention to and can be honoured as reasons for doing or not doing something. The middle-class child’s own sense of power is bonded more closely to feeling than to external display. One latent message in the free-school education of the 1960, designed almost exclusively for middle-class students, was that personal feelings are near sacred objects of attention and deserve frequent and detailed discussion. The third is that feelings are meant to be managed—monitored, sanctioned, and controlled. Thus when Tennessee spills milk on his mother’s rare 17th century antique Persian rug (a sickle-leaf, vine scroll and palmette vase-technique carpet, produced in the city of Kerman in the 1600s, part of the Clark Collection), he will be punished less for damaging the rug than for doing it in anger. His transgression is not possessed in not managing his anger. It seems, then, that middle-class children are more likely to be asked to shape their feelings according to the rules they are made aware of. At the very least, they learn hat it is important to know how to manage feeling. In a sense, the true middle-class lesson may be set forth in learning it is through the art of deep acting that we make feelings into instruments we can use. In reviewing this research on the family, I have frequently used the terms “middle-class child” and “working-class child,” but I do not mean to suggest that one is trained to do emotional labour and the other is not. #RandolphHarris 7 of 23
Middle-class parents whose jobs do not involve public contact may train their children to accept positional authority, and less affluent parents whose jobs do involve public contact may train their children to accept personal authority. More precisely, the class messages that parents pass on to their children may roughly as follows. Middle class: “Your feelings count because you are (or will be) considered important by others.” Less affluent: “Your feelings do not count because you are not (or will not be) considered important by others.” However, some times class level does not matter. It may also depend on if the parents resent their children or love them. Cutting across the class messages may be other messages about emotional labour. The two main ones would be as follows. “Learn to manage your feelings, and learn to attune yourself to feeling rules because doing this well will get you places” (emotional-labour occupations). And “Learn to manage your behaviour because that is all the company will ask of you” (nonemotional-labour occupations). Upper-class parents doing emotional labour may combine these messages “Your feelings are important” and “Learn to manage them well” whereas lower-class emotion labourers may stress only the “Manage them well.” #RandolphHarris 8 of 23
Conversely, upper-class parent who do not specialize in emotional labour may emphasize “Your feelings matter” without stressing “Manage them well.” And lower-class parents doing physical or technical work may see no relevance in either message. How feelings are dealt with in families may be determined not so much by social class as by the overall design of emotional labour, which is itself only loosely related to social class. Further, in our society the personal control system extends far beyond the family; it operates, for example, in schools that stress the development of autonomy and emotional control and in jobs that call for a capacity to forge useful relationships. Similarly, the social guardians of the positional control system are found not only in working-class families but in the traditional churches to which they go, and to some extent in the schools, where they learn to manage their behaviour in ways that will be useful on the job. If jobs that call for emotional labour grow and expand with the spread of automation and the decline of unskilled labour—as some analysts believe they will—this general social track may spread much further across other social classes. If this happens, the emotional system itself—emotion work, feeling rules, and social exchange, as hey come into play in a “personal control system”—will grow in importance as a way through which people are persuaded and controlled on and off the job. #RandolphHarris 9 of 23
If, on the other hand, automation and the decline of unskilled labour leads to a decline in emotional labour, as machines replace the personal delivery of services, then this general social track may come to be replaced by another that trains people to be controlled in more impersonal ways. The transmutation of emotional life—the move from the private realm to the public realm, the trend toward standardization and commercialization of emotive offerings—already fans out across the whole class system. Commercial conventions of feeling are being recycled back into individual private lives; emotional life now appears under new management. Talking at dinner about encounters with an irate customer or watching the moves of host and participant on television giveaway programs opens the family home to a larger World of feeling rules. We learn what to expect outside, and we prepare. In the United States of America, this public culture is not simply public; it is commercial. Thus the relation between private emotion work and public emotional labour is a link between a commercial and commercial spheres. The home is no longer a sanctuary from abuses of the profit motive. Yet the marketplace is not without images of the home. #RandolphHarris 10 of 23
The atmosphere of the private living room, which many employees are ask to recall as they are at work in the office, has already borrowed some of the elements of that office. The principles of commerce that govern exchanges in the office are supposed to be softened by the analogy to a private home, a home remote from commerce. However, for a quarter of a century now, private relations between friends and kin have been the basis for living room “parties” at which kitchenware, cosmetics, or (more recently) wedding packages are sold. Similarly, to build a market for air travel, the airlines use the idea of a private family and the feelings one would have there. Airline training strategists borrow from the home the idea of a place where that sort of borrowing does not go on. Yet in a culture like ours, it does. Thus it is in the family that we assess our bonds to the public culture and search out ways in which we may be monitored there. It is in the family—that private refuge, that haven in a heartless World—that some children first see commercial purposes at close hand and prepare for the call from central casting that will let them display their skills on a larger stage. #RandolphHarris 11 of 23
In an essay, Cynthia Ozick describes a comment she once overheard at a party: “For me, the Holocaust and a corncob are the same.” Ozick understands his comment to mean that for a writer, all experience is equal. Literature has no moral content, for it exists purely in the domain of the imagination, a place where only aesthetics matter. Thus, a poet may freely replace the Holocaust with a corncob. Poetic language is only a game of words; the poet need not and in fact should not worry about social responsibility. Literary language is purely self-referential. Law, however, has not been much tempted by the sound of the first voice. Lawyers are all too aware that legal language is not a purely self-referential games, for legal interpretive acts signal and occasion the imposition of violence upon others. In their concern to avoid the social and moral irresponsibility of the first voice, legal thinkers have veered in the opposite direction, toward the safety of the second voice, which speaks from the position of “objectivity” rather than “subjectivity,” “neutrality” rather than “bias.” This voice, like the voice of “We the People,” is ultimately authoritarian and coercive in its attempt to speak for everyone. #RandolphHarris 12 of 23
In both law and literature there are theorists who struggle against their discipline’s grain. Literary theorists such as Henry Louis Gates, Jr., Gayati Spivak, and abdul JanMohamed are attempting to read specific verbal and visual texts against complex cultural codes of power, assertion, and domination which these texts both reflect and, indeed, reinforce. Legal theorists such as Mari Matsuda, Pat Williams, and Derrick Bell juxtapose the voice that allows theorists to discuss liberty, property, and rights in the aspirational mode of liberalism with no connection to what those concepts mean in real people’s lives with the voices of people whose voices are rarely heard in law. In neither law nor literature, however, is the goal merely to replace one voice with its opposite. Rather, the aim is to understand both legal and literary discourse as the complex struggle and unending dialogue between these voices. The metaphor of “voice” implies a speaker. I want to suggest, however, that both voices I have described come from the same source, a source I term “multiple consciousness.” It is a premise of this article that we are no born with a “self,” but rather are composed of a welter of partial, sometimes contradictory, or even antithetical “selves.” #RandolphHarris 13 of 23
A unified identity, if such can ever exist, is a product of will, not a common destiny or natural birthright. Thus, consciousness is never fixed, never attained once and for all; it is not a final outcome or a biological given, but a process, a constant contradictory state of becoming, in which both social institutions and individual wills are deeply implicated. A multiple consciousness is home both to the first and second voices, and all the voices in between. As I use the phrase, “multiple consciousness” as reflected in legal or literary discourse is not a golden mean or static equilibrium between two extremes, but rather a process in which propositions are constantly put forth, challenged, and subverted. Cynthia Ozick argues that “a redemptive literature, a literature that interprets and decodes the World, beaten out for the sake of humanity, must wrestle with its own body, with its own flesh and blood, with its own life.” Similarly, Mari Matsuda, while arguing that in the legal realm “holding on to a multiple consciousness will allow us to operate both within the abstractions of standard jurisprudential discourse, and within the details of our own special knowledge,” acknowledges that “this constant shifting of consciousness produces sometimes madness, sometime genius, sometimes both. #RandolphHarris 14 of 23
The mask, id est, the ad hoc adopted attitude, I have called the persona, which was the name for the masks worn by actors in antiquity. The human who identifies with this make I would call “personal” as opposed to “individual.” The two above-mentioned attitudes represent two collective personalities, which may be summed up quite simply under the name “personae.” I have already suggested that the real individuality is different from both. The persona is thus a functional complex that comes into existence for reasons of adaptation or personal convenience, but is by no means identical with the individuality. The persona is exclusively concerned with the relation to objects. The relation of the individual to the object must be sharply distinguished from the relation to the subject. By the “subject” I mean first of all those vague, dim stirrings, feelings, thoughts, and sensation which follow in on us not from any demonstrable continuity of conscious experience of the object, but well up like a disturbing, inhibiting, or at times helpful, influence from the dark inner depths, from the background and underground vaults of consciousness, and constitute, in their totality, our perception of the life of the unconscious. Just as there is a relation to the outer object, an outer attitude, there is a relation to the inner object, and inner attitude. #RandolphHarris 15 of 23
It is readily understandable that this inner attitude, by reason of its extremely intimate and inaccessible nature, is far more difficult to discern than the outer attitude, which is immediately perceived by everyone. Nevertheless, it does not seem to me impossible to formulae it as a concept. All those allegedly accidental inhibitions, fancies, moods, vague feelings, and scraps of fantasy that hinder concentration and disturb the peace of mine even of the most normal human, and that are rationalized away as being due to bodily causes and suchlike, usually have their origin, not in the reasons consciously ascribed to them, but in perceptions of unconscious processes. Dreams naturally belong to this class of phenomena, and, as we all know, are often traces back to such external and superficial causes as indigestion, sleeping on one’s back, and so forth, in spite of the fact that these explanations can never stand up to searching criticism. The attitude of the individual in these matters is extremely varied. One human will not allow oneself to be disturbed in the slightest by one’s inner processes—one can ignore them completely; another human is just as completely at their mercy—as soon as one wakes up some fantasy or other, or a disagreeable feeling, spoils one’s mood for the whole day. #RandolphHarris 16 of 23
Likewise, a vaguely unpleasant sensation puts the idea into one’s head that one is suffering from a secret disease, a dream fills one with gloomy forebodings, although ordinary one is not superstitious. Others, again, have only periodic access to these unconscious stirrings, or only to a certain category of them. For one human they may never have reached consciousness at all as anything worth thinking about, for another they are worrying problem one broods on daily. One human takes them as physiological, another attributes them to the behaviour of one’s neighours, another finds in them a religious revelation. These entirely different ways of dealing with the stirrings of he unconscious are just as habitual as the attitudes to the outer object. The inner attitude, therefore, is correlated with just as definite a functional complex as the outer attitude. People who, it would seem, entirely overlook their inner psychic process no more lack a typical inner attitude than the people who constantly overlook the outer object and the reality of facts lack a typical outer one. In all the latter cases, which are by no means uncommon, the persona is characterized by a lack of relatedness, at times even a blind inconsiderateness, that yield only to the harshest blows of fate. #RandolphHarris 17 of 23
Not infrequently, it is just these people with a rigid persona who possess an attitude to the unconscious process which is extremely susceptible and open to influence. Inwardly they are as weak, malleable, and “soft-centered” as they are inflexible and unapproachable outwardly. Their inner attitude, therefore, corresponds to a personality that is diametrically opposed to the outer personality. I know a man, for instance, who blindly and pitilessly destroyed the happiness of those nearest him, and yet would interrupt important business journeys just to enjoy the beauty of a forest scene glimpsed from the carriage window of his Ultimate Driving Machine. Cases of this kind are doubtless familiar to everyone, so I need not give further examples. “And now I ask, can ye say aught of yourselves? I answer you, Nay. Ye cannot say that ye are even as much as the dust of the Earth; yet ye were created of the dust of the Earth; but behold, it belongeth to him who created you. And I, even I, whom ye call your king, am no better than ye yourselves are; for I am also of the dust. And ye behold that I am old, and am about to yield up this mortal frame to its mother Earth. Therefore, as I said unto you that I had served you, walking with a clear conscious before God, even so I at this time have caused that ye should assemble yourselves together, that I might be found blameless, and that you blood should not come upon me, when I shall stand to be judged of God of the things whereof he hath commanded me concerning you. #RandolphHarris 18 of 23
“I say unto you that I have caused that ye should assemble yourselves together that I might rid my garments of your blood, at this period of time when I am about to go down to my grave, that I might go down in peace, and my immortal spirit may join the choirs above in singing the praises of a just God. And moreover, I say unto you that I have caused that ye should assemble yourselves together, that I might declare unto you that I can no longer be your teacher, nor your king; for even at this time, my whole frame doth tremble exceedingly while attempting to speak unto you; but the Lord God doth support me, and hath suffered me that I should speak unto you, and hath commanded me that I should declare unto you this day, that my son Mosiah is a king and a ruler over you. And now, my brethren, I would that ye should so as ye have hitherto done. As ye have kept my commandments of my father, and have prospered, and have been kept from falling into the hands of your enemies, even so if ye shall keep the commandments of my son, or the commandments of God which shall be delivered unto you by him, ye shall prosper in the land, and your enemies shall have no power over you. #RandolphHarris 19 of 23
“However, O my people, beware lest there shall arise contentions among you, and ye list to obey the evil spirit, which was spoke of by my father Mosiah. For behold, there is a wo pronounced upon one who listeth to obey that spirit; for if one listeth to obey him and remaineth and dieth in one’s sins, the same drinketh damnation to one’s own soul; for one receiveth for one’s wages an everlasting punishment, having transgressed the law of God contrary to one’s own knowledge. I say unto you, that there are not any among you, expect it be your little children that have not been taught concerning these things, but what knoweth that ye are eternally indebted to your Heavenly Father, to render to him all that you have and are; and also have been taught concerning the records which contain the prophecies which have been spoken by the holy prophets, even down to the time of our father, Lehi, left Jerusalem; and also, all that has been spoken by our fathers until now. And behold, also, they spake that which was commanded them of the Lord; therefore, they are just and true. And now, I say unto you, my brethren, that after ye have known and have been taught all these things, if ye should transgress and go contrary to that which has been spoken, that ye do withdraw yourselves from the Spirit of the Lord, that it may have no place in you to guide you in wisdom’s paths that ye may be blessed, prospered, and preserved. #RandolphHarris 20 of 23
“I say unto you, that the human that doeth this, the same cometh out in open rebellion against God; therefore ne listeth to obey the evil spirit, and becometh an enemy to all righteousness; therefore, the Lord has no place for one, for one dwelleth not in unholy temples. Therefore if that human repenteth not, and remaineth and dieth an enemy to God, the demands of divine justice do awaken one’s immortal soul to a lively sense of one’s own guilt, which doth cause one to shrink from the presence of the Lord, and doth fill one’s breast with guilt, and pain, and anguish, which is like an unquenchable fire, whose flame ascendeth up forever and ever. And now I say unto you, that mercy hath no claim on that human; therefore one’s final doom is to endure a never-ending torment. O, all ye old human, and also ye young humans, and you little children who can understand my words, for I have spoken plainly unto you that ye might understand, I pray that ye should aware to a remembrance of the awful situation of those that have fallen into transgression. And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into Heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. #RandolphHarris 21 of 23
“O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it,” reports Mosiah 2.25-40. Thou Eternal Source, Author of all created being and happiness, I adore Thee for making humans capable of religion, that one may be taught to say: “Where is God, my Maker, who giveth song in the night?” However, degeneracy has spread over our human race, turning glory into shame, rendering us forgetful of Thee. We know it is Thy power alone that can recall wandering children, can impress on them a sense of divine things, and can render that sense of divine things, and can render that sense lasting and effectual; from Thee proceed all good purposes and desires, and the diffusing of piety and happiness. Thou hast knowledge of my soul’s secret principles, and art aware of my desire to spread the gospel. Make me an almoner to give Thy bounties to the indigent, comfort to the mentally ill, restoration to the sin-diseased, hope to the despairing, joy to the sorrowing, love to the prodigals. Blow away the ashes of unbelief by Thy Spirit’ breath and give me light, fire, and warmth of love. I need spiritual comforts that are gentle, peaceful, mild, refreshing, that will melt me into conscious lowliness before Thee, that will make me feel and rest in Thee as my All. #RandolphHarris 22 of 23
Please fill the garden of my soul with the wind of love, that the scents of the Christian life may be wafted to others; then come and gather fruits to Thy glory. So shall I fulfill the great end of my being—to glorify Thee and be a blessing to humans. May the Communion of Thy Sacrament, O Lord, both purify use and makes us one, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Please deliver us from evil, Lord Jesus Christ! We eat Thy Body, which was crucified for us, and we drink Thy blood, which was shed for us: may Thy holy Body prove our salvation, and Thy holy Blood the forgiveness of our sins, both now and forever. Being fed with Heavenly Food, and refreshed with the eternal Cup, let us give unceasing thanks and praise to the Lord our God, entreating that we, who have spiritually received the most holy Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, may be freed from carnal vices and be made spiritual. O God, Who are eternal salvation, and inestimable blessedness, grant, we beseech Thee, to all Thy servants, that we who have received things holy and blessed, may be enabled to be holy and blessed evermore. God of righteousness, God of mercy, God of immortality and life, God of brightness and glory, we pray and beseech Thee, that being refreshed by Divine gifts, we may be preserved by Thee for Thyself unto the bliss which is to come; through Jesus Christ our Lord. #RandolphHarris 23 of 23
Experience summertime the way it’s meant to be at @HUBApts: poolside with a great book in hand. 🌞
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Hitch Your Wagon to a Star and Never Leave that Till Tomorrow which You Can do Today!
This week’s Cresleigh Blog welcomes you to #MillsStation at #CresleighRanch! Located in the heart of Rancho Cordova, this community features modern homes built for making memories. 😍 Check it out at the link in bio! https://www.instagram.com/p/CBWN3lLgHaX/
Is Tragedy Stronger than Hope? Does the Past Conquer the Future? Is Wrath More Powerful than Mercy?
There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life. We have seen that in struggling with one’s conflicts the neurotic person undergoes a great deal of suffering, that moreover one often uses suffering as a means of attaining certain goals which, because of existing dilemmas, are difficult to attain otherwise. Though we are able to recognize in every individual situation the reasons why suffering is used and the ends that are to be achieved by it, there remains some bewilderment why people should be willing to pay such an enormous price. It looks as if the generous use made of suffering, and the readiness to recoil from an active mastering of life, grow out of an underlying drive which can be roughly described as a tendency to make the self weaker instead of stronger, miserable instead of happy. Since this tendency is contradictory to general conceptions of human’s nature it has been a great puzzle, in fact a stumbling block to psychology and psychiatry. It is indeed the basic problem of masochism. The term masochism originally referred to perversions dealing with pleasures of the flesh, and fantasies in which pleasures of the flesh is obtained through suffering, though being beaten, tortured, assaulted, enslaved, humiliated. #RandolphHarris 1 of 23
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So Short is Our Life and it Seems to Long Against the Envy of Less Happier Lands
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Randolph Harris II International Institute 