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The Glory of God is Intelligence
Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this Earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. We are of infinite worth to our Heavenly Father. The school, like the family, is an institution whose explicit mandate is to socialize people. In each case, this mandate is directed toward children. The school’s mission, however, is defined more narrowly than that of the family. It is primarily concerned with the formal instruction of children and the development of their cognitive skills (but here again, more is learned by the child than that which is explicitly taught). That is why if I could afford to, I would send my children to private school so they can learn about God as part of their enrichment material, and also so they would not pick up the habit of swearing from their friends, and also because they would have to wear a uniform, which is more likely to get them ready to conform to the career World. Next to the family, the school is the institution in which the child is most directly involved. And like the family, this involvement is largely involuntary. However, in most other respects, family and classroom constitute quite different socialization experiences for the child. #RandolphHarris 1 of 12
School is important in life because people need to gain knowledge and intelligence through their diligence and obedience so that they can have an advantage in the World to come. The classroom is composed of one adult and around twenty-five bright young children of both genders and approximately the same age, drawn from a relatively small geographical area. The major status distinction, which is important so students can learn to respect authority figures besides their parents, is between the teacher and pupils. There is a law, irrevocably decreed in Heaven before the foundations of this World, upon which all blessings are predicated—and when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated. The relationship between teacher and student is more of a limited scope (that is, more role-specific), and of shorter duration than is that between parent and child. The procedure of annual promotion from grade to grade provides the child with the experience of establishing and severing relationship with adults at regular periods. This being the case, we all should place the pursuit of light and truth, and intelligence, uppermost in our selections of goals, since we may have them eternally. #RandolphHarris 2 of 12
The glory of God is intelligence. School is the first socializing agency in the child’s experience that institutionalizes a differentiation of statues based on achievement. However, many parents can tell that their babies are intelligent and understand because, for example, when Leo (age 1) is asked to dance, but the music he likes is not on, he will not. However, when classical music is playing and he is asked to dance, he starts smiling and moving his hands and arms and head and legs, and even motions like he is conducting the composition. Other children Leo’s age when playing with a horse make the sound a horse makes when walking. Or watch their parents cook and when playing, get a pot and pretend to cook and taste the food and share it with their family. The homogeneous age composition of the class is an especially consequential feature of classroom structure. It provides the child with a standard of comparison for evaluating his or her competencies. It also provides the teacher with a standard for evaluating each student. Formal and public evaluation of performance is one of the hallmarks of the school experience, and, as we shall see, it has substantial consequences for the child’s self-esteem. #RandolphHarris 3 of 12
As you can see, it is important for children to be around their peer group, as they are all developing at the same relative level and can teach each other things. Ostensibly, school is primarily concerned with the cognitive development of the child—the acquisition of knowledge, the development of analytical and verbal skills, and other competencies. However, in the course of this socialization experience, other things are also learned, such as general norms and beliefs, and other aspects of the child are affected (personality characteristics, self-esteem). It is also important to understand, and this may or may not be fair, but grades are about social reinforcement, expectancy effects, and social comparison processes. The most conspicuous socialization process in the classroom (as perhaps, in the family) is social reinforcement. Teachers rely on several reinforcers in attempting to shape the student’s behavior and development—praise, blame, privileges, and, most important, grades. Grades represent the most concrete evidence of official (teacher’s) approval or disapproval of the student’s performance. #RandolphHarris 4 of 12
However, grade may also be used to reinforcement more than just the development of cognitive competencies. Teachers are likely to reward those students who conform to the social order of the school with higher grades and punish violators with lower grades, independent of their respective academic and cognitive accomplishments. An ABC10 Journalist, Gabrielle Karol reported on Beyer High School (Modesto, California USA), where sophomore Cedric Wright got in trouble for slapping his best friend. Cedric Wright was supposedly defending another student his best friend punched in the arm. The kids were all supposedly playing around like people do in the locker room. However, both Cedric and his friend were sent to the principal’s office. Cedric got a two day in-school suspension, where he sat in an intervention center, and was not allowed to go to class. Cedric Wright’s parents got upset and filed a complaint because the best friend did not get an equal punishment for a similar offense. Mr. James Wright thought his son had a bias applied against him because he is African American. After the complaint was filed by Cedric’s parents, it was then that Cedric’s best friend was punished. #RandolphHarris 5 of 12
Ignorance is expensive; in fact, it is the most expensive commodity we know anything about. Certainly, we make many mistakes through ignorance. After an investigation, the school claims there was a miscommunication, and that is why Cedric Wright was the only student punished initially. In this case, conformity to the social order meant that certain personality characteristics were rewarded (for example, dependability, consistency, perseverance, identification with school, punctuality, and tact), while others are punished or disapproved (for example, creativity, aggression, and independence). Sometimes people feel that certain families or students are out of control because they are successfully, well integrated and solid middle class, which is against an outdated negative stereotype that a small segment of the population would like to adhere to. There seems to be a significant positive relationship between the grade-point average of high school students and the first set of personality characteristics listed and second set of characteristics. Similar evidence reflects that grades are more than scholastic achievement of students. #RandolphHarris 6 of 12
Where there is no law, there is no transgression. In a study of 639 National Merit Scholars, it was found that differences in scholastic achievement were not related to grades. However, two personality variables were significantly and positively related to grades: citizenship and drive to achieve. However, it was found that neither of these two variables had a significant effect on actual achievement measures, and both were negatively related to measures of creativity and mental flexibility. There is evidence that teachers directly reinforce certain personality characteristics and discourage others through the use of grades and other reinforcers. Less obvious than social reinforcement, but perhaps no less pervasive, are expectancy effects and social comparison process. Expectancy effects, better known as self-fulfilling prophecies, are part of the broader process of defining situations and thereby constructing realities. The concept refers to the capacity of beliefs or expectancies to alter a state of affairs so that it comes to be congruent with the original belief. If people define situations as real, they are real in their consequences. #RandolphHarris 7 of 12
The self-fulfilling prophecy is, in the beginning, a false definition of the situation evoking a new behavior which makes the originally false conception come true. This specious validity to the self-fulfilling prophecy perpetuates a region of error. For the prophet will cite the actual course of events as proof that he or she was right from the very beginning. Self-fulfilling prophecies are usually always negative, as attested by the literature on race relations, deviance, and stereotyping. However, research of self-fulfilling prophecies in the classroom demonstrates that greater intellectual growth can be produced if the teacher expected that than if he or she did not. The findings were equivocal, as teacher’s expectations had a significant effect on pupils’ IQ gains for first and second-graders. The fear that many people have, however, concerning the self-fulfilling prophecy in the classroom is not with regard to the effect of the teacher’s high expectations, but rather his or her low expectations of certain students. Especially in schools where the student body is racially or socioeconomically mixed, parents and policy makers fear that the teacher would have lower expectations for the underrepresented or lower-income students, and that these expectations will be communicated in differential treatment. #RandolphHarris 8 of 12
A careful study gives credence to some of these fears. A class of Black children was followed from kindergarten through second grade. There were numerous and subtle ways in which the teacher transmitted her expectations of their competencies or incompetencies to these children in a process that became self-fulfilling. According to Gabrielle Karol, a journalist from ABC10, data from California state assessments from 11th grade students found that 64 percent of African American students did not meet state standards in English, compared to 33 percent European American students. In math, 93 percent of African American students failed to meet standards, compared to 64 percent of European American students. While subconscious stereotypes can lead to biases in judgment that people are not aware of, we need to help educate teachers and others in positions of power to erode these outdated standards of prophecy. At the same time, we need to encourage parents to be more active in their students’ education and ask them to investigate why their students are underperforming. If parents get involved, they can act as agents to educate teachers and let them know that they will not stand for unfair treatment, or help to correct the educational problems their kids are manifesting. #RandolphHarris 9 of 12
We need to help prepare leaders in education and to generate knowledge to improve student opportunity, achievement, and success. Sometimes people will try to demonize your children and ruin their lives because their own children are deviant and your kids make them look bad. Even though we may not think we are guilty of our sin because of our ignorance, neither can we receive the blessing, which is predicated on obedience, without rendering obedience to that law. Therefore, we are denied the blessing through our ignorance. If it is a traffic law one has violated through ignorance, the penalty is assessed exactly as one had known. Ignorance of the law is not an excuse. The goal of school is to have an exceptional and collaborative community of faculty, students, and alumni dedicated to improving lives and expanding opportunities through the comprehensive study and effective practice of education. We want our kids to grow to become innovative leaders in the community, entrepreneurs, and explorers of the World. It is also important the teachers understand that we expect a diverse, moral development of our children, an international education policy, and organizational leadership. #RandolphHarris 10 of 12
We want our children to be taught by renowned experts, who are passionate about education and preparing students to become transformative leaders. With that being said, it is important to be honest and let parents know when their children could do better and how, or to directly communicate that to the student. Never miss an opportunity to remind children the pivotal importance of a strong education. College is the key to success and a better life. Higher education encompasses more kinds of experiences, and more kinds of different experiences, than there are people in your classroom, and there is a place for every one of you. Commit to the goal of a higher education, and share your plans with others. Write it down, tell your parents, teachers, coaches, friends and extended family. Share your educational dreams with anyone who will be supportive. College education leads to higher incomes, lower unemployment rates, better access to health care, and it will give you the freedom to understand yourself differently. With education you will have a vaster range of life experiences. #RandolphHarris 11 of 12
It is impossible for anyone to be saved in ignorance. No person is truly enlightened unless he or she knows God. Education will help you learn to have meaningful conversations with people and give you a wide range of viewpoints. Education teaches people to even reconsider their own view point. By attending college, you will encourage dreams that you have never dreamed. Every person has extraordinary gifts, and education will help you build your future. Dear Lord, as we continue in life, help us never to forget to devote our time of praise and worship to you. We know, God, that you are the one who sustains us and we are so grateful that you blessed us with this amazing life on this beautiful planet. God, we know that you are renewing our minds. We pray that all of our instructors, professors, and administrators will also experience the love of God. We will grow and learn, and as we strive, we will become more like our teachers. Please give them wisdom, strength and courage to be the best authority figures. Help them stay healthy as they do teach us. Lord, if they do not know you personally, we pray that they come to know you and in doing so that their instruction and working is glorifying to you. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 12 of 12
Genius is Simply a Poetic Name for Hard Work
Their secrete abominations have been brought out of the darkness, and made known to us. Living in the past is not terribly productive you will discover, it is too easy to become entangled in its haunting web. It can distort the present, sometimes out of all recognition, but fortunately, most of us can draw that fine line between what is, and what was. We can see things as they are, not as they used to be. Perhaps that is not always a good thing. Perhaps if we could just, if we could just occasionally drift back to time’s past, moments that are done. However, that is just wishful thinking, I am afraid. If you live in the past, you shall lose your joy, strength, praise, and leadership influence. To dwell in the past is dangerous because it will make you old before your time. It is extinguishing the hope for the future, and make you bitter, angry, and depressed. Some focus on the past because they feel alone, or abandoned. These might include those longing to be married, those who have lost a spouse, and those who have lost—or have never been blessed with—children. Our empathy embraces wives forsaken by their husbands, husbands whose wives have walked away, and children bereft of one or both of their parents. However, the very process of salvation consists in the interpenetration of the good into the midst of the evil. #RandolphHarris 1 of 8
People do not usually deliberately become narrow minded, selfish, and sinful. They become such because they do not deliberately devote themselves to some noble aim. The human mind is mainly drawn to the future, and not driven by the past. Human beings typically rely on their foresight, they are always looking for the next big trend, how to improve a product, which investment will eventually yield dividends, and so forth. Those who have been successful in business are people who have studied well the laws of business, and toiled with sleepless vigilance and unwearied zeal. The people who have attained great scholarship, or who have risen to the highest places in the realm of letters or in the profession, have been people with industry and an aim. Genius is simply a poetic name for hard work, and for the power of keeping at the appointed task until it has been complete. The history of all great and useful people illustrates that the onward look is essential to success. We sometimes have to forget the things we left behind and reach forth onto the things that are before us, pressing towards the blessings that have been promised to us by God. We have to have a vision and work hard towards this vision and know that the glory of fulfillment will come to us. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8
The spirit of looking forward to the future must be part of our vision in life. We are here to develop the spiritual life and build up the kingdom of God. If our spirits are true and hearts steadfast, we shall be richer and greater in the years to come. The best way to prove that we have been useful in the past is to illustrate that in the conduct of today and the purpose for tomorrow. Some people let a single deed of virtue last them a lifetime, but the measure of a person is not simply what one has done, but what one is doing and what one will do in the future. Let us keep looking towards a Heavenly life. If we keep in view the destiny of which the love of God has created for us, we shall find comfort and courage along our journey. Above the wrongs and injustice of the World, and the confusion is the triumph of God. Inside of you, there is a feeling that you are destine to do great things. Trust this instinct. We find instinct to be a great power. It teaches us how to provide for ourselves, how to love, and guides and directs us in our very lives. God has given us great capabilities and great wisdom. The inner sense of purpose is what matters right now in each individual’s life and career. #RandolphHarris 3 of 8
The future is important to focus on because when we think of technology and research and development, the objection is invention. To have a prosperous future, we have to put our health and well-being first. It is also important to take the best advice that exists and make the right choices. We can to create an environment where people feel comfortable around us and we feel comfortable with them so it is safe to make a living and have a life. And if we can impact the lives of the community in a beneficial way, it will also have an effect on the next generation. Do not tolerate things that are against your nature because you could lose yourself in the end. Betrayal and lying are that we cannot accept. Independence is also very important because if you are a servant to someone, what justice can you have? It is necessary to build clear and honest relationships with people. Every organization, be it a political party, state, or private structures needs to bringing in new talent, change and modernize to be able to advance differently and stay competitive. Also, people do not like being under pressure, it can sometimes have a reverse effect. On the other hand, our society cannot become perfect in one day. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8
While some people work every day, at whatever it is they are trying to do, it is certainly not for everyone. Some people are driven by demands and internal pressures to turn out a production every day, and their life is constantly spent thinking about what they will do next. It is an addiction for them, they have to constantly feed their business because it is like part of their soul and it gives them strength. Whenever what they are doing catches, they are a success, or they reach a level where they are comfortable, then it is possible to relax. However, for the average person, it is good to consciously try to have one day off, and it is not about being lazy and a lack of abilities. Sometimes when you give your mind time to rest you come up with new ideas, new innovations or new inventions. When I was in college, I used to study all the time and my friends encouraged me and reminded me of how President Donald Trump became very successful from working hard. Now, he is arguably the richest and most powerful man in the World. My goal is to get to a level where I can build my dream house and afford vacations and other luxuries. #RandolphHarris 5 of 8
Some people, when they are loaded with daily routine and papers all the time, lose the ability to look into the future, but that is what keeps me motivated. Because of my unique schedule, I need to create an opportunity for myself, to become highly desirable, so I can work around my responsibilities, or meet someone who will accommodate my schedule. I currently do not even sleep at night. The idea here is to help uplift people and help them identify their strengths and open possibilities from there. A lot of research is done, so there is a lot of education going on in the process that will hopefully have some benefits in the future. Sometimes I dream about being a motivational speaker in the days ahead and that is why it is important to study psychology, religion, and sociology. The goal is not to talk about my negative experiences as a tool of motivations, but show people, by example and through listening, how to help them advance toward future goals. The work we do helps enhance family and social connections because the people who have guided me can see and hear that I am listening to them and implementing their advice and following their examples, and that makes people feel a sense of pride and also makes people more willing to help you in whatever way they can. #RandolphHarris 6 of 8
It is kind of an interesting support system, and I have learned that is it best for me not to say anything negative, but to constantly absorb information and try to produce good content. It seems to keep myself and others uplifted. You will find that society is really like a chain, and once you start to become weak and tarnished, it does have an impact on others. With regard to degree of openness and flexibility because of differences in the nature of social networks within families or social institutions there have been consequences for types of linguistic codes that people use in socialization. There are different in the types of social institutions, cultural processes, and historical developments because of class-associated differences, ethnic, racial, and religious influences. One of the major problems in this area is to disentangle the effects of these various factors. There has been a progressive decrease in the recent decades in the amount of contact between American parents, children, and peer groups. Various social forces (such as urbanization, commuting, working parents, social media, and the professionalization of child care) have operated to decrease the amount of time families and peer group interaction takes place, and so there are other socializing agents. #RandolpHarris 7 of 8
Unfortunately, these new socializing agents have produced a vacuum that is increasingly filled by the child’s involvement with social media and television. Children and adult’s peer groups develop independently of (and often in opposition to) healthy standards and values. They become a frame of reference and a powerful socializing influence for individual. So, does the television and social media. The American child spends about as much time watching television as he or she spends in school, and more than in any other activity except sleep and play. The insidious influence of television and other forms of technology is not so much with regard to the behavior that it produces in a child (even though this might be bad enough), but rather the behavior it prevents, that is, the human interaction foregone in the course by using social media or being a passive viewer. However, divine compassion is never absent, God is always faithful, he never flees nor fails us. Let us be loved, happy, and peaceful. Let our friends be loved, happy, and peaceful. Let our perceived enemies be happy, loved, and peaceful. Let all beings be happy, loved, and peaceful. Let the whole World experience these things. President Lincoln says, “Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” Therefore walk uprightly before God; and observe to do good continually, and to keep his commandments. #RandolphHarris 8 of 8
Grant Us Compassionate Hearts
Everyone has a story. We are all central characters in our own lives. Much of the human personality is made through socialization. Our rising generation is worthy of our best efforts to support and strengthen them in their journey to adulthood. As an institution, the function of the parents is to develop children into competent, moral, and self-sufficient adults. Parents socialize their children for membership in the larger society. In the process, of course, parents also become socialized. Relationships within the family are intimate, intensive, relatively enduring, particularistic, and diffuse. This is why the socialization that takes place here is usually the most pervasive and consequential for the individual. It is also the first socialization context that most of experience—the place where we develop our initial sense of self. The family, in contemporary society at least, is a relatively simple structure, usually composed of father, mother, and a few children. The parents generally have considerably more power and authority than the children (although the power disparity decreases as the children get older). Perhaps the most powerful thing you can tell your family is that you love them because it lets them now that they are not alone and you care. #RandolphHarris 1 of 9
There is a wide range of process and outcomes of socialization within the family, especially for the child. It is the context in which the child’s initial sense of self develops and basic identities, motivations, values, and beliefs are formed. A good deal of the socialization that takes place in the family involves learning appropriate role behavior associated with various family positions. For the children gender and age roles are very significant because of the consequences that they have for self-conceptions. They are sources of major identities that individuals hold. As such, they are sources of motivation (wanting to act in accordance with role requirements), values (having a beneficial or negative feeling toward the identity), and, perhaps most important, they engender relatively unshakeable conceptions of reality. They also develop very early in the socialization process, shortly after the acquisition of language. Not long after the appearance of reflective thinking (that is, the ability to view the self as an object), the child, in categorizing its World and constructing its reality, categorizes itself as boy or girl. This becomes a statement of fact, not subject to opinion nor negotiation—just as the identities of brother, sister, youngest child, and becomes statement of fact as the children forms. #RandolphHarris 2 of 9
The behavioral consequences of age and gender roles for boys and girls—that is, the role behaviors considered appropriate—take a long time to develop and are negotiable. Through a process of reinforcement from parents and others, through identification with various role models, through countless parental admonitions and instructions, the child is socialized into the specific behavioral expectations associated with these roles. Girls generally learn gender-appropriate behavior through identification with their mothers, whereas boys learn it through identification with a culturally defined masculine role. This difference in processes involved in gender-role learning is a function of the traditional division of labor in the home. As a result, the process of gender-role learning for girls is through observing their mother and modeling her behavior. However, since, generally speaking, the father is often less visible, the process of gender-role learning is more complicated for boys. Their problem is to determine, on the basis of various sources of information (such as mother’s sanctions against unmasculine behavior, males portrayed in the mass media, and observation of men in various circumstances), what constitutes appropriate masculine behavior and to use it as a standard for one’s own conduct. This involves abstracting from a number of diverse sources of information a general model of masculinity. #RandolphHarris 3 of 9
Many of the youth are remarkable in their spiritual maturity and in their faith. However, even the best of them are sorely tested. And the testing will become more severe. Children learn at a young age that there are distinct expectations for them based on their assigned gender. We must put family first and identify specific ways to strengthen our youth. Studies show that children are aware of gender roles by age two or three; at four or five, most children are firmly entrenched in culturally appropriate gender roles. Parents often supply male children with toy trucks, cars, action figures, robots, balls, sports toys, and books. Female children are often given dolls, doll houses, baking sets, books, balls, sports toys, and stuffed animals. Most children will choose to play with gender appropriate toys even when cross-gender toys are available, because parents give children good feedback (in the form of praise, involvement, and physical closeness) for gender-normative behavior. Our rising generation is worthy of our best efforts to support and strengthen them in their journey to adulthood. Make your family feel appreciated and acknowledged. People who show gratitude feel better about their lives, are more optimistic and in better health than people who are not. #RandolphHarris 4 of 9
In out routine of life, we often take our families—our parents and children and siblings—for granted. However, there is no question that what we care about most is our families. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose. Parents are not the only agents within the family important to the child’s gender-role learning. Siblings also have an effect. In a study of gender-role learning in two-child families, children who have a sibling of the opposite gender have more personality traits of the opposite gender than do children from same-gender sibling system, and this effect is greater for younger than for older siblings. Furthermore, this process of mutual influence is asymmetrical in the sibling order. Older siblings, because of their greater power and competence, have more influence over younger siblings. Identification as a process of development of gender-role identities is important in the formation of other aspects of self-concept, also. We develop a sense of who we are by identifying with and differentiating from others. By showing vulnerability, you can help a relationship feel more equal and bring you closer to your family. Kids do better when they ask for help. #RandolphHarris 5 of 9
In the name of tolerance, the definition of family has been expanded beyond recognition to the point that family can be any individuals of any gender who live together with or without commitment or children. Parenting styles and socialization outcomes are a product of roles, values, norms, and beliefs that are the main cultural contents transmitted from parents to children, more or less intentionally, in congruence with general socialization goals that parents hold. Much of the child’s family socialization is of this kind. However, it is inadvertent, unintentional, and often unconsciously produced by parents. Styles of parental behavior are more likely to be relevant to this aspect of the socialization process. Families, and especially children, a sacred privilege that will teach us to become more like God. Most parents throughout the World continue to know both the importance and the joy that are attached to families. Many parents want to be a bigger influence on their children than the media and the peer group. They want their kids to be functioning members of the community, and to treat people with love and respect and be loved and respected as well. In this culture of super competitive sports and pressure to achieve, tell you children how much you enjoy him or her doing the sport they love. #RandolphHarris 6 of 9
Parental support combined with inductive or authoritative (as opposed to authoritarian) control have the most favorable socialization effects on the child, that is, development of high self-esteem, sense of competence, conscience, internalization of adult standards, and high achievement motivation. Because the family is the basic unit of society, of the economy, of our culture, and of our government, the family will also be the basic unit in the celestial kingdom. A reason for the efficacy of these parental behavior is that both modeling and identification are affected by them. The most contagious models for the child is likely to be those who are the major sources of support and control. Furthermore, a strong affective relationship between parent and child facilitates the child’s identification with the parent (and the parent’s with the child). In short, parenting styles that result in a warm, supportive, reasonably constricting family environment produce a child who is readily socialized to adult standards. On the other hand, cold, rigid, and coercively-restrictive family environments produce children who are rebellious, resentful, and insecure. Accepting responsibility and owning up to our mistakes is one of the most important things we can do with family members. It is a way to mend relationships that are problematic. #RandolphHarris 7 of 9
Sometimes it is difficult for us to tell the people we care about most how much they mean to us. Since the relationship between parent and child is highly reciprocal, parents are also affected in the process. In fact, in the initial confrontation between parent and offspring, the parent is much more influenced by the infant than vice versa. By means of the cry and the smile, infants are very effective at shaping parental behavior. Socialization into the parental role is largely a matter of on-the-job training, with the child’s responses to the parent one of the major processes involved in the role definition of parent. Family-centered perspective will make people strive to be the best parents in the World. It should give us enormous respect for our children, who truly are our spiritual siblings, and it should cause us to devote whatever time is necessary to strengthen our families. Indeed, nothings is more critically connected to happiness—both our own and that of our children—than how well we love and support one another within the family. There can be no genuine happiness separate and apart from the home, and every effort made to sanctify and preserve its influence is uplifting to those who toil and sacrifice for its establishment. #RandolphHarris 8 of 9
Perhaps the greatest gift we can give someone is to let him or her know how their actions affected us—how something they did made us happier, stronger, and well. Heavenly Father, please shine your light upon our family. Give us strength to overcome all of the difficulties that we are dealing with and protect us against any and all problems we may encounter in the future. Lord, please bring us together as we are meant to be. May the love that binds us only grown stronger as we fulfill the destiny you have laid out for us. Grant our family forgiveness for any sins we have committed. May we also forgive one another, Lord. Provide for all of our need and protect us from harm and evil. God, thank you for blessing us with our families, and please lead us to the perfect truth. Family will be even more important when we leave this life and enter into the spirit World. Surely the first people we will seek to find there will be father, mother, spouse, children, and siblings. God reveal yourself to us and let us come into agreement with you. Grant us compassionate hearts. #RandolphHarris 9 of 9
The Winchester Mystery House
On a spirit quest, a paranormal investigator faces some fascinating and terrifying experiences while working in The Winchester Mystery House. She gets entangled in a web of demons and evil entities she never expected. https://winchestermysteryhouse.com/
Thank you for Being my Friend
Friendships are unique relationships because we choose to enter them. When we make a person feel he or she is wanted, their entire attitude changes. The processes of socialization contain an essential contradiction. Although socialization serves to perpetuate the existing society—its ideology, roles, norms, and values—socialization also contains seeds for change. Many people think a friend is a person who is willing to take us the way we are. However, if we leave a person the way they are, we are something less than a real friend. There seems to be a misunderstanding on the part of what it means to be a friend. Just as individuals may become differently socialized because of differences in the past experiences, motivations and capacities, so may they become differently socialized because of differences in the structure of the social settings in which they interact. Identifications with the socializer or the socializing group makes one more receptive to their influences and motivated to be socialized in accordance with their standards. It is in the interest of socializing agents and agencies to encourage the socializees’ identification with their socializers, and in the process, to develop identities appropriate to the group’s purpose and goals. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
Our friends are important to our happiness. Situations that are occasions for socialization vary in scope and duration, from relatively trivial and fleeting encounters to totally absorbing and enduring experiences. Acts of a friend should result in self-improvement, better attitudes, self-reliance, comfort, consolation, self-respect, and better well-being. Although friendships tend to change as we age, we want consistency from them. However, not all friendships last forever. The word friend is certainly misused if it is identified with a person who contributes to our delinquency, misery, deficiency, and heartaches. If our actions and attitudes result in improvement and independence, our friendship will be recognizable. It takes courage to be a real friend. The changes that individuals undergo as a result of social influences is relevant in organized social relationships. In this sense, there is a membership component to a sociological conception of socialization. To be socialized is to belong. All friendships should enhance our lives and teach of ways of showing people the love of God. Even if these friendships do not last forever, it is important to learn how to leave people better off for having spent time forming an emotional and psychological attachment with you. Friends are people we can talk to, enjoy, depend on, and trust. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
It takes courage to be a real friend. A process of unlearning is frequently a necessary step in the re-socialization process. That is, old identities, beliefs, and values may have to be abandoned in the process of creating a new self-concept and World view. Some of us endanger the valued classification of friend because of our unwillingness to be one under all circumstances. What is learned is not always what is taught. Fear can deprive us of friendship. The two most important elements of the internal structure of socialization contexts are the role system and the power distribution. The role system refers to the configuration of social statuses, along with the behavioral expectations, rights, and responsibilities, operating in a group. Some of us identify our closest friends are those with the courage to remain and share themselves with us under all circumstances, and everyone has a different level or power and a different position. Nonetheless, a friend is a person who will suggest and render the best for us regardless of the immediate consequences. We should also have time to devote to our friends. Sophisticated adults usually spend between 10 to 25 hours a week with friends. Because of busy life schedules, career demands, and family responsibilities, some people may or may not be able to spend that much time with their friends, even if they would like to. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
Roles are part of the social fabric in peer groups and they can be relaxed, amorphous, and emergent. Roles provide one of the main contents of socialization in because they encompass specific identities, behaviors, values, and beliefs. However, even more important, roles provide a major link between the social system and the individual. Two characteristics of roles are relevant in this regard: their reciprocity and their embeddedness. Our friends have these exuberant and profound importance in helping us figure out who we are, and they sometimes help us make decisions that shape us into the people we are. We are embedded in these interpersonal relationships that become sources of our personal identity, values, and beliefs. We become committed to these roles we play with our friends because we invest so much time with them. Friends improve our daily lives by their willingness to reprimand, admonish, love, encourage, protect, and guide our needs. Our friends treat us with a noble sense, are inspirational, and courageous. They take us the way we are and leave us improved. When it comes to friends, we prioritize events that will create experiences, which will make us happiest in the moment. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
Friends are relationships that we earn. After tests and trials, it is nice when we meet people who are faithful and true in all things. Some people do manage to stay friends for life, or at least a huge portion of their lives. Communication tends to be an importation aspect of the socioemotional part of friends. Hanging out with a set of good friends can be fun because you all have your own language, inside jokes, and references that only the group understands, which can be a bonding factor. As you know, communication skills and mutual understand also helps friends successfully transition through life changes that may be difficult. As we fully strive to comprehend the significance of friendship, we also try to keep our lives unspotted from the sins of the World. It is also a worthy daily goal to be a true friend to one’s self as well. And remember, if our life is of no value to our friends, it is of no value to us. That means we should only socialize with people who care about our lives and really love us and want to make sure that we stay safe. A friend in the true sense is not a person who passively nods approval. A friend is a person who cares. No greater reward can come to any of us as we serve than a sincere, “Thank you for being my friend.” #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
Friends are people we want to be able to trust with our secrets, house, kids, and family. When we are weak, we are made stronger through our friendships. Friendship is real. If we can be judged by our friends, we can also be measured by their heights. A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one’s heart, knowing that the gentlest hands will be there to uplift and set us right. May God help us to be friends. We need God’s friendship. He pleads for ours. God lives. He is near. God is available. God, thank you for our friends, you create beautiful friendships. Our friends are such a blessing in our lives. God, we are excited about the incredible things you are doing for us and through us each day. Thank you for shaping us, preparing us, and positioning us to fulfill our destinies. God, we pray that you will give our friends peace that surpasses comprehension and that in you will uplift each of our friends at work. God, help us to demonstrate your grace and friendliness towards the people in our lives and that we construct ourselves in Godly ways and friendly manners towards each and every one. Please strengthen our hearts, and calm the fears of all concerned, with the blessings, and your healing touch. Your Grace is sufficient for all our needs and your love for each of us the best thing in the World. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
Oysters Rockefeller–Leaving the Family and getting into Adulthood
Miracles happen all around us. Our supreme focus should be on the spiritual miracles that are available to all of God’s children. However, a myth supported by most theories of pre-adult development is that at the end of adolescence you get yourself together and, as normal, mature adult, you enter into a relatively stable, integrated life pattern that can continue more or less indefinitely. This is a rather cruel illusion since it leads people in early adulthood to believe that they are, or should be, fully adult and settled, and that there are no major crises, or developmental changes ahead. Instead of this rather tranquil picture of adult development, there are several key issues that must be resolved sequentially through adulthood; one is the process of becoming one’s own person. Unless the individual goes through some level of inner turmoil and reassessment at this time, further development will not occur and overall mental health will be affected adversely. Pain is a part of the unique human experience, accepting it is a sign of maturity. In many societies, adulthood is confirmed at different stages, when individuals have exhibited various kinds of psychological and social behaviour. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7
Consistency and change in adulthood is dependent upon a variety of individual, social, and historical variable, in particular, health, education, and socioeconomic status. Stressful life events and adaption to them are central to socialization. Role transitions occur because of such life events, such as periods of depression, economic prosperity, war, marriage, birth of a child, and death of a loved one. For instance, during the Great Depression, people who experienced this cultural event early in their work careers were more negatively affected in the long run than were those already established. And although most members of society may shape their life courses by such social clock, it by no means determines the precise pattern of an individual’s life course. Individual sequencing that is divergent from norms, as well as historical events that upset the age-grading clock, may alter patterns either for individuals or entire age cohorts. An individual may postpone higher education to find him or herself, this deviating from both the age-grade norms and work ethic norms as well. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7
Historical events, such as wars or depressions, or the construction of a sports complex in a low-income community, impinge upon the timing of life events, such as marriage, completion of education, and childbearing. For people from deprived families, changes in the family division of labour usually means getting a job which results in accelerated movement toward the adult World. Also, families who are dominated by a mother, usually makes an individual more vocationally aware and more likely to view values of job security and family life as important when they become adults. Nevertheless, although there are changes that will be difficult when an individual becomes an adult, it does not mean that the transition needs to be characterized by stress and turmoil. An individual may become a different person by virtue of changing physique, changing major social roles and changing participation. Cognitions to new situations and situational adjustments can be enjoyable. We know that buying a first house is much more than just finding a cute place and getting a decent mortgage. A whole host of factors play into this big life decision: location, interest rates, the length of time you plan to spend in the house, and the projects people will commit hours, days, and years of their life to. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7
Homeownership is a rite of passage most of us dream of. Many people spend years thinking about their own house and designing to make it a space that is truly theirs. Pride of ownership is a major reason why people yearn to own a house. From the landscape, type of house, curtains, appliances, furniture, paint colors, wall paper to the light fixtures, type of bathtubs and the creative uses for different spaces in the house are decorative ideas that make people happy. When it is your house, you can do what you want with the space. Not only that, but you can listen to the type of music you like, watch TV shows that bring you pleasure, and have a sense of privacy, stability, and security. It is making an investment in your future. Also, homeowners can get mortgage deductions on their tax returns. The joys of home ownership really come to life when you have a housewarming party! It is a blessing to have friends, family, and coworkers over to celebrate the house that you own. You can have food and drinks and talk about life. Staying put in one place for long periods of time also creates social benefits that range from friendships with neighbors to community involvement and consistent educational opportunities for children. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7
This proves that the assumption that major life transitions must be experienced as a crisis ignores the joys of life like child birth. New born babies are a big joy for many parents. The new born child is so cute and adorable and not something everyone can have; a baby is not something you can buy at the store, they are generally a mix of you and your partner, meaning that no one else can create the same bundle of joy that you can. The scent new born baby is the best, they smell so clean, their skin is soft, and they have cute cheeks, and cut little thighs with roles, and the babies sound so gentle. All they want is to be loved, protected, and fed. As they grow, they learn different things like how to give hugs. Jillian and Justin’s son Leo is just like a bright ray of sunshine with his gold hair. He has a big bright smile and is so smart. He just turned one year old and when he is hungry, sometimes he will walk over to the pantry and start looking for something to eat. He also like to dance. When he hears classical music, he reaches out his arms like he is dancing with a girl and sways them from side to side. And then sometimes when he wants to sit on the couch, he will climb up there, but cannot sit himself up right because he is still so young and gets frustrated and it is just so adorable. Or sometimes when he wants to be held, he will cry a little so you will pick him up. These are joys that only parents will experience. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7
When grown children leave home, a lot of them choose to marry, and this allows for the possibility of new roles and personal growth. When people get engaged it is usually because they are in love. They met someone who has characteristics they like and makes them happy. It is part of trusting a person. People are excited to be engaged to their best friend—it is so romantic. Love is an overwhelming emotion, as individuals are excited to see what the future holds for them. That is why engagement is one of the most precious moments in everyone’s life. It is a beautiful and priceless time, as it is a symbol of love. You have someone who will be there to laugh with you, lift you up and to love you unconditionally through your journey in life. A faithful partner will love you selflessly. Human love is a wonderful adventure. Respecting someone, as though each of you are treasures that belong to each other reminds us that the Lord, our God is with us. God sees and hears you, and will bless your marriage with radiance and happiness. When you meet your soulmate it is utter proof that your years of prayers for a great partner have not go unheard. It teaches you that preparation for a marriage is more than just rings, flower arrangements, selecting a church or rose garden. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7
Love is a process that revolves around the relationship, socialization, and social change. Being engaged to be married is an in depth spiritual process. You will know that God is at the center of our relationship. Finding someone you can spend your life with is truly a miracle. God said, “For I am God, and I will show miracles unto all those who believe on my name.” That is why we must firmly center our faith on God the Father and his holy plan. Faith in God allows us to understand and accept God’s will for eternity. Being a child of God is a miracle. Receiving a body in his image and likeness is a miracle. The gift of life is a miracle. The potential for eternal life is a miracle. While it is good to pray for and work for physical protection and healing during our mortal existence, our supreme focus should be on the spiritual miracles that are available to all of God’s children. No matter our ethnicity, no matter our nationality, no matter what we have done, if we repent, no matter what may have been done to us—all of us have equal access to these miracles. We are living miracles, and more miracles are ahead. Such a process is credited with bringing about social change over generations and redefinition of our roles over time. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7
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A young father was taking a journey to Emigrant Lake, which was aptly named for the majestic pine covered mountains. The sky was blue, filled with puffy cumulus clouds, emanating beauty and serenity. As the blue light was scattered in all directions by the tiny molecules of air in Earth’s atmosphere, he noticed the little brown song sparrows singing a very sweet song in the early morning. The song sounded as if set to the lyrics, “Beautiful Day! Beautiful Day! Would you like to come and play! Beautiful Day! Beautiful Day!” As the young man was enjoying the panoramic views, lush greenery, running streams, and mild temperature, there was a loud rush of the wind through the branches. He gazed at the impression rock formations, and mountain meadows. When he looked up, he noticed peaks surrounding Emigrant Lake, including Melissa Coray Peak, which was named for a Pioneer woman who walked 2,000 miles to reach the west, he also noticed Covered Wagon Peak that still held patches of snow. He took a good rest, and took some time to think about how modern industrial society is so complex, differentiated, and rapidly changing, compared to the tall pine trees and glistening lake sparkling and shining with light. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
The glistening surface of the lake was especially beautiful in the morning. The father thought to himself that he wanted his children to experience the rustic country atmosphere, as it had a refined elegance, and sweet air. He thought about how when his children grow up they will have to understand and perform many more roles than people in less complex societies. And he wanted them to develop a love for the natural World beyond. Respectable scientists—doctors, psychiatrists, educationalists, sociologist—suggest that when kids stop going out into the natural World to play, it can affect not just their development as individuals, but society as a whole. He thought about how he used to take his kids to Robert’s Park in Oakland, California to hike, climb trees, build dens, collect birds’ eggs, identify frogs, and take a gander at deer. The kids were thrilled, but also a little intimidated because it was not the concrete jungle that they were used to. The father thought about how individuals simply cannot become prepared in childhood for all the tasks and roles they will encounter as adults, but he was also concerned about the role definitions, how they are in flux, and about how new roles emerge frequently. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
As you know, role acquisition is tied to role conflict and role transition. In most situations, but particularly conflicting ones, internal as well as external stimuli affect the way persons learn presented roles. The demand of self may be as important, if not more so, than demands of other persons or society. Sometimes an incessant stream of self-reference flows through our thoughts concerning which we usually have no inkling. It may seem as if we are forced to compare with our own person all that we hear about strangers, as if our personal complexes become stirred up by associations from without. It seems impossible that this should be an individual peculiarity of our own person; it must, on the contrary, point to the way we grasp outside matters in general. We have reasons to assume that other individuals meet with experiences quite similar to ours. There may be small but incremental shifts from time to time in what an individual asks of oneself, and the resultant day-to-day alterations in one’s behavior, rewarded by oneself, lead to a cumulative change which over the years makes one much different from what one was when one was younger…until one day the individual finds how the change occurred. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
One outcome of such self-initiated processes of change is that an individual may redefine a role in a unique way. For instance, I admire my grandfather, he was very professional, obeyed the law, was organized, peaceful, responsible, private, clean, neat, not very social, kind, firm, and successful. He was not loud, nor emotional, did not drink nor swear and his house was always spotless and fresh. He did not like a lot of people around and did not want many children. And that is how I want my life to be as well. I want to live in a community of professionals, where people are respectful and quiet and obey the laws. There are several stages in role acquisition: anticipatory socialization, formal socialization, informal socialization, and personal role expectations. After the role incumbent has anticipated and experienced the role, then he or she may begin to redefine it and develop personally tailored role expectations. Thus, role demands that culminate in changes in the self may emanate from within the self, from others encountered in face-to-face situations, or from socially defined norms. While it is likely that demands from these different sources may be related, they are often incongruent. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
Since role change continues throughout the course of the life cycle, the acquisition of new roles and loss of old ones has been a theoretical concern. The discontinuity involved in major role transition may be psychologically stressful. At times we may feel as if we are drowning in life. We live in a World full of hustle and bustle, and if we are not careful, the things of this World can drown out the things of the Spirit. The level of stress depends on the nature of the role abandoned or acquired. There are also institutionalized rites of passage that smooth the transition to new roles. An answer comes when we recognize the divine source of strength. It is a source often underestimated, yet it can be used daily to lighten our load and guide our precious children. That source is the guiding gift of the Holy Ghost. We learn about and make a covenant with God. Those we love support us and we pray and come out feeling of great joy. And the gift of God will guide us constantly as we live for that blessing. However, role discontinuity can be stressful. Role conflict implies conflicting demands at one point in time, whereas role discontinuity role discontinuity refers to a contradiction between demands of a new and an old role. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
It is this contradiction in role demands that is presumed to be problematic for the individual, both in terms of confronting him or her with a potentially traumatic situation and in terms of rendering the task of learning and adjusting to new roles more difficulty. Children have a natural desire to do good and to be good. We can sense their innocence, their purity. They also have a great sensitivity. We should teach our children spiritual education in the home, where spiritual principles can form the basis for daily living. Feeling and recognizing the Spirit will being spiritual capacity into our children’s lives, and the voice they come to know will become crystal clear. As we gain experience and success in being guided by the Spirit, our confidence in the impressions we feel can become more certain than our dependence on what we see or hear. We must live for the guiding gift of the Spirit. This gift will continue to lighten the weight we carry and lead us back to our Heavenly home,as long as we live for and follow God’s prompting. Immersing ourselves and families in the Spirit will keep our hearts and our children’s hearts open to God’s influence, love, compassion, and understanding. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
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The environmental influences the individual and the individual affects the environment as well. Humans are sensitive to their surroundings to survive, and because of that we have an innate awareness of our environment and seek out atmospheres with certain qualities. We have a strong need for safety and security and look for those attributes in our homes and community. It is good to have friends, to experience pleasure, to be healthy to be honored, and to have such virtues as courage at least to some degree. When we are in a place that feels safe, we are able to pursue our dreams and flourish. We affect the environment by how we take care of it, the structures we create, our attempts to beautify the World, and create peace. We are unified by our appreciation of the loveliness of our waterways, forests and the diversity of plants, bird, and animals. The exquisiteness of our landscapes is significant, and they bring us economic benefits. The environment is the natural foundation on which our economy is built. It creates thousands of jobs and generates billions of dollars. National parks, in 2016 had 331 million park visitors, they spent an estimated $18.4 billion. The national parks also create 318.1 thousand jobs, with $12 billion in labor income, and a total economic impact of $35 billion. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7
The humanness of each person is the product of a socialization process that begins very early in life; some of the most important aspects of personality develop even before the school years. The new born human today is no different is no different from what he or she would have been if one had been born thousands of years ago in a Stone Age culture. However, infants immediately confront their 21st century parents, or nurse, and is subjected by them a process of acculturation that inhibits some of his or her potentialities and lets others become fully expressed. The infant is thus shaped according to our socially accepted norms and adapts more or less successfully to our World. The concept of development stresses an interaction between individual behavior and the environment and views a behavioral repertoire as the outcome of developmental processes, the concept of socialization generally refers to the ways in which individuals learn skills, knowledge, values, motives, and roles appropriate to their position in a group or society. We must recognize our own requirements for self-expression, uniqueness, novelty, and creative experiences, even when these conflict with the society’s needs as some seem them. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7
Culture, as it is acquired with the growth of the personality, becomes the medium of that personality. You cannot swim without water, and water is the medium of swimming; you cannot paint a picture without paint, and the paint becomes the medium for expressing the message of the picture. The differences between culture and personality is the same as the difference between medium and the content of a picture. Human conduct takes place within situations that are defined by participants who act toward one another, the situations themselves, and the objects they contain on the basis of their definitions. When an actor enters an interaction situation one takes note of the various social and physical cues that are present and on the basis of one’s previous experience assigns meaning to them. And this will help an individual in the defining of an identity for self and for other, a definition of actor’s and other’s goals, and of course role definition for actor and other. It seems that if we are going to live sanely, then we must respect and be sensitive to differences, realizing that no two individuals are alike, and that is we really understand someone, we understand how he or she differs from us. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7
Significant individual change continues through the lifetime of an individual because of reaction to socialization experiences, and upon entrance into adulthood. The reflexive self evolves as the individual take the role of others and understand how the various social roles encountered are interrelated to each other. The self evolves throughout a lifetime because the cognitive structures and process is continuing the transformation of the self. Since the reflexive self is inherently changeable through social interaction, it appears plausible to suggest that as the individual takes on new roles and encounters new situation, the self will continue to evolve and change. Cognitive structures and cognitive process that are developed through social interaction and that could conceivably lead to continuing change in the self over the life course. For instance, men who are married with young children might tend to be more attractive than single me because there is a perception that a married man with children is mature, a provider, monogamous, stable, and has good social and mental hygiene. Whereas single women without children might be considered more attractive because they have more free time, and might be viewed as happier because they do not have attachments. Of course, these are just generalizations. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7
In the stages of development corresponding to notable life transitions, there appears to be a presumption that each stage must be resolved in a particular way or the individual may experience mental health problems. The stages are generally between childhood and adulthood. The child actively assimilates and organizes new information according to her or his existing cognitive structures. If new information cannot be integrated, then the child accommodates her or his cognitive structure. The rational part of a teenager’s brain is not fully developed and will not be until she or her is twenty five years old or so. And research indicates that adult and teen brains work differently. Adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s rational part. This is the part of the brain that responds to situations with good judgment and an awareness of long-term consequences. Teens process information with the amygdala, which is the emotional part. No matter how smart a teen is, good judgment is not necessarily something they excel in because the connections between the emotional part of the brain and the decision-making center is still developing. So, teens are more likely to respond to things based on feelings. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7
Cognitive-developmental stages through assimilation and accommodation produce the cognitive reorganization that constitutes various stages of development. Movement through these stages (broadly: sensorimotor, concrete operations, formal operations) represents, in part, a shift from being ego-centered to decentered, and from understanding concrete objects or pairs of objects to comprehending complex relationships (forms rather than concrete substances) as totalities. By ages twelve to fourteen, the individual is capable of deducing propositions about objects she or he has never seen and is able to grasp possible transformations of social and physical reality without every seeing them. This change is viewed as crucial because it allows for notions of morality; it makes possible the concern with decisions about the future, notably career choices; and it enables the individual to have affective relationships in which she/he not only realizes that others may have different perspectives from her or his own as well. The latter ability is central in role-taking and in a number of other social interaction skills as well. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7
Without some kind of optimistic outlook, our lives would tend to stagnate. When I was a kid, a friend of mine was a member at the country club, we used to sneak in and play tennis. One time we got away with playing three rounds without getting caught. And, individuals who are members of different generations undergo different socialization experiences. The idea that cultural arrangements may help or hinder adjustment of life transitions has been quite influential, particularly in the study of adolescent socialization, aging, and life crises. Thus, culture of a given society can affect the character and outcomes of life transitions, even though such transitions may be in part maturational processes. Parents are the most important role model children have, and the way an adult behaves and fulfills their responsibilities will have a profound and long-lasting impact on their children. God, we are all your children and run to you for protection. Do not disappoint us. You do what is right, so come to our rescue. Listen to our prayers and keep us safe. And may the Lord Bless your soul, and receive you at the last say into his kingdom, to sit down in peace. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7
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One basic the basic concepts of forgiveness is that one must be truly repentant, having satisfied justice before forgiveness can take place. There should be no license for sin. God is merciful, but he is also just. An eternal aspect of justice has been decreed by divine law, that God is not mocked: for whatever a person does, is what they shall get back in return. History is made by strong individuals who issue commands to the masses about how to play the game; these leaders fit into the World. This is not the way spiritual history is made; it is made by exceptional people who do not fit into the World, who have a conception of the World other than that given in the games people play. What these people do not realize is that, even with the self-sacrifice of their lives, the most they can achieve is a small change in the rules by which these communal games of humankind are played. Self – (or social) evaluation can come about through a process of comparison with others. An individual’s judgment of how well he or she is doing is formed not only directly, on the basis of appraisals by others, but also indirectly, as a result of comparing his or her situation with that of others. #RandolphHarris 1 of 8
Even in self-evaluations resulting from social comparison, however, normative factors come into play. In the first place, such factors mat specify the group with which the comparison must be made. And second, the comparison has consequences for self-evaluation only to that extent that the standard against which an opinion, performance, or situation is compared has normative force—that is, constitutes an expectation level that carries with it the implication of ought or should. It can be horribly mortifying when we experience the prospect of becoming hopelessly trapped in someone else’s story. And if one can find any way out of our culture, then that is a trap too. Just wanting to get out of the trap reinforces the trap. Many of the classic investigations of reference group behavior have concerned themselves with the consequences of conformity to the perceived prescriptions of some valued group for attitude stability or change. However, what is one to do when they do not want to conform to the group, are not accepted by the group, and the group is like a pervasive cancer, acting as a source of oppression at every move one makes to advance oneself. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8
Sometimes hardworking people with a lot of promise and determination get stuck in awful places. However, what one may consider awful, others might consider a paradise. And it may seem no matter how hard we try to upgrade our lives, nothing seems to work out. One might have thought that years ago, they would be in a better situation. Then they look and are still in the same place and trying even hard to keep a roof over one’s head and advance. Another year rolls around, and they think to themselves, within six months from now, I know I will be in a better place, I cannot see being in this same situation any longer than that. Yet, three more years pass, and they are still in the same place. The influence of a reference group on attitudes or behaviors is a factor that should be considered. The salience of a reference group can increase a subject’s resistance to the propaganda directed against the group or increase the frequency of responses conforming to the norms of that group. That is why some people choose to join church, it helps them to be thankful for the everything in their lives, and they realize that at some point, through an increase in faith, that their hard work and determination will pay off. #RandolphHarris 3 of 8
Still, there is also an account for the ability to maintain a deviant perspective by its anchorage in a significant reference group or individual or have demonstrated that adoption of new reference figures (as through the development of close friendships) is associated with adoption of a new, at times deviant, perspective. For example, the fact that adolescents who use drugs are more likely to report drug use among their friends does not necessarily mean that such use is a consequence of selecting a particular reference group; the choice of reference group may be contingent on drug-taking behavior, or both may be consequences of particular combinations of residential, social, and other statuses. That is why parents who have lived in bad neighborhoods and low-income communities work hard to send their children to school, so they can provide a better environment for them so they do not have to be in a community with gang activity, crimes, and drugs. However, some people are jealous of people who are good, no matter what their situation is, and what do whatever they can to see that person fail. It brings them joy to see someone they do not like struggle and suffer. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8
And then the cycle continues where the good person has to figure a way out of an oppressive situation that they were never meant to experience. As you can see, there are consequences of reference orientations. Yet, love changes everything. Medical studies about young children report that nurturing and supportive parenting can lead to improved physical health and possibly greater intelligence later in life. Kids need love, care, and people to teach them things. The effect of nurturing could be even stronger the younger the child is because it is possible that the brain is more sensitive to change earlier. People who have families are generally more happier and satisfied, and the motivation helps them to live a healthier life. People with families are motivated to eat healthier, exercise more, drink less alcohol, and put themselves in dangerous situations less often. In turn, this suggests that attitudinal similarity may be a potent factor in the formations of groups, which subsequently function as powerful references groups in inducing further attitude change. #RandolphHarris 5 of 8
You have all you need to stand strong and firm and true because you have the Lord on your side. Notwithstanding the afflictions about us, notwithstanding the sordid things we see almost everywhere, notwithstanding the conflict that sweeps across the World, we can be better. I do not know what we did in the preexistence to merit the wonderful blessings we enjoy. We have come to Earth in this great season in the long history of humankind. It is a marvelous age, the best of all. As we reflect on the plodding course of humankind, from the time of our first parents, we cannot help feeling grateful. We promise to love the Lord, to honor him all the time—daytime and nighttime, Summer and Winter, good times and bad times—love the Lord and let that love show by the way we live. We also take time to thank God, take time to ask for help, take time to seek guidance, and then take time to listen. Take time for that still, small voice which will whisper to us, help us, and give us courage. Both laboratory experiments involving the choice of partners for limited kinds of interactions and investigations of friendship choices in the real World have pointed to some sort of similarity as one principle underlying the selection and acceptance of groups that function as normative referents. However, the question immediately arises, similarity with respect to what? #RandolphHarris 6 of 8
Social psychologists tend to emphasize similarity with respect to individual values, attitudes, and other personality characteristics. Another factor is the social structure, which may make one group (individual, category, status, and so forth), more salient than another, in terms of its appropriateness or in terms of its power to confer rewards; the other is normative structure, which may be define one group (individual, category, status, and so forth) a more appropriate or more rewarding. Our Heavenly Father does bless us when we show our love for him in all things. We will stand witness in all places—both public and private, in secret, in dark or in light places; in church, school, home, or cars; in mountain places, or beach places; on the street or in the park. The potency of physical structure is dramatically demonstrated in a field of experiment in which the functional distance between apartments turned out to be a powerful determinant of friendship formation among persons who are similar to one another on a variety of social characteristics. Structural factors also come into play in those situations in which individuals adopt as a point of reference group whose values are quite dissimilar from their own. #RandolphHarris 7 of 8
It is given unto you to judge that you may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain that you make know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night. Stand as an example of a worthy child of God in all places. Heavenly Father, we come to you asking that you come into our lives and heart. As we are learning to discern the prompting of the Spirit, there are so many distractions. It is experience that helps us know good from evil. It is experience that helps us recognize the promptings of the Spirit. Experience can also help us recognize when good feelings are lacking. Dear Father God, we thank you for this wonderful free gift of Salvation and the knowledge that there is nothing left for us to do except to believe in you as our Savior. Thank you for your perfect righteousness and for giving us eternal life, which a special place reserved with us in Heaven, for all eternity. There are no words that can express our love and gratitude for this amazing free gift of grace—thank you. You Father God, are amazing and loving and graceful. #RandolphHarris 8 of 8
Kindness is the Essence of a Celestial Life
Kindness is how Godlike people treat others and should permeate all our words, education, works, and actions. The temporal aspects of exchange relations allow the development of emergent aspects of the relations, such as trust, commitment, solidarity, investments, concerns about justice and equity, and contractual agreements. The most important single feature of the exchange process is the tendency for actors to become—through exchange—drawn into patterns of more or less lasting mutual dependency. However, if one person is more powerful and uses that power advantage to gain benefits, that individual or organization becomes more dependent and the advantage is lost. That is why reciprocity is important is business and intimate relationships. Reciprocity is developed and woven into good enough relationships, sometimes without participants knowing what they are doing. If a relationship is important enough to them, partners will be emotionally invested in it enough to work at building and maintaining it. Business reciprocity as a strategy has huge advantages. People do business with those they know, like, and trust. When you give first, without expecting anything in return, it goes a long way in helping to build the like and trust factor. #RandolphHarris 1 of 9
What is your business giving away? What product, service, bit of knowledge, or piece of information could you charge for, but should probably give away instead? When you give away valuable information or goods and services for free, your business has greatly increased its credibility and likelihood of picking up new customers through this strategy. When someone foes you a solid favor, you feel compelled to return the favor. The same goes for your customers. No good deed goes unpunished. It is completely counterintuitive, but without fail, when you give first (without expecting anything in return), you will get back much more than you initially gave. Competitors may use you, possibly. However, whose credibility and reputation just went up, your business who is providing enormous value for free, or your competitor, who is now trying to sell what you are giving away for free? (Believe this, your competitors will not try to repay a good deed, and if they are stealing your material, they will not understand how or why the law of reciprocity works.) Some of the benefits include search engine optimization, increased brand recognition, and customer loyalty. A charity enduring long, and is kind, and fair, and is not ostentatious, is not easily provoked. #RandolphHarris 2 of 9
If we are not kind to others, we do not honor God. When a competitor is using you or your business and providing no benefit in return, and they become dependent on you, the coalition formation will transform the structure of the network, redistributing power to your advantage, and eventually you will be able to vertically integrate markets and channels of distribution. Vertical integration is a strategy where a company expands its business operations into different steps on the same production path, such as when a manufacturer owns its supplier and/or distributor. Family lines can be analyzed similarly with kin-based economic opportunities flowing down and filial loyalty and support flowing up across generations. Examples of negatively connected networks include competitive economic market structures, dating networks and friendship networks. Most concrete networks involve connections of both types. If we do not have charity, we are nothing, for charity never fails. Therefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail, but charity is the pure love of God, and it will endure forever, and those whoso are found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with God. #RandolphHarris 3 of 9
Judging from the frequent occurrence of such words as power, influence, dominance, and submission, status, and authority, the importance of power is widely recognized. When I was in college and studying for my final examines, my grandmother asked me did I pray to God to help me on my exams. Even though I was raised in the church, I did not understand, at that time, how God could help me with my education. I did not yet see spirituality as a holistic concept. Nevertheless, I prayed to God and that semester in college I got a 3.83 grade point average, and the next semester God helped me earn a 4.0 grade point average and I was accepted into an honors program to attend college overseas. Each student had to have a 4.0 grade point average to be accepted. Power relations are frequently intransitive. The scriptures teach us that the righteous exercise of our ability is dependent upon our living the principles of kindness, charity, and love. By kindness, and pure knowledge, we shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile. Social structure is created, maintained, and changed through symbolic interaction, and once created is a constraining interaction. #RandolphHarris 4 of 9
If people do something anyway, there is no need to have a norm prescribing it. The norm is redundant. It is a waste of time prescribing things that people are going to do even if they are not prescribed. Let us examine our lives and determine to follow the Savior’s example by being kind, loving, and charitable. And as we do so, we will be in a better position to call down the powers of Heaven for ourselves, for our families, and for our fellow travelers in this sometimes difficult journey back to our Heavenly home. We have a deep tendency to create social ties through exchange of gifts. Exchange theory offers a soft interpretation of power. Exchange theory emphasizes mutually beneficial exchange rather than coercion. Therefore, power inequalities are seen to result from asymmetric or unilateral exchange. Stated differently, power inequality stems from unequal dependence. However, a person does not necessarily require a Church calling, an invitation to help someone, or even good healthy to become an instrument in God’s hands. Domination is usually found in institutionalized forms of power called authority, embedded in or deriving from a legitimate social order. Both weak and the strong party can gain through the yielding act of a weak person. #RandolphHarris 5 of 9
Power, like exchange, can be symmetrical and even equal. Domination can take purely coercive forms, but taken by itself, coercive rule is unstable and costly. Stable and enduring forms of domination are based upon claims of and beliefs in the legitimacy of domination (including the right to use coercive force). When legitimized, domination is called authority. Different bases for legitimacy generate qualitatively different systems of authority. Three pure types of authority can be analytically distinguished, deriving their legitimacy from rational-legal, charismatic, and traditional sources. Concrete empirical systems approximate those types in varying degree. However, none of the forms of domination can be conceptualized properly on the basis of exchange. Charity and love are the greatest principles in existence. If we can lend a helping hand to the oppressed, if we can assist those who are despondent and in sorrow, if we can uplift and ameliorate the condition of humankind, it is our mission to do it, it is an essential part of our religion to do it. When we feel love for God’s children, we are given opportunities to help them in their journey back to his presence. #RandolphHarris 6 of 9
Power and influence are based upon exchange processes, but domination and authority are not. There are two diametrically contrasting types of domination. Domination by virtue of constellation of interests (in particular: by virtue of a position of monopoly), and domination by virtue of authority. The purest type of the former is monopolistic domination in the World; of the latter, patriarchal, magisterial, or princely power. God has asked us to journey, go on missions, accept callings, invite someone to church, or help someone in need. The Lord will grant unto them a portion of his Spirit to go with the, and abide with them, that they might be an instrument in the hands of God to bring, if it were possible, others to the knowledge of truth. Do we really want to be instruments in God’s hands? If so, our desire will permeate our prayers and be for focus of our reality. It may be conformity with respect to a belief, an attitude, a value, a behavior; it may be conceptualized as deviance from one set of norms, that than adherence to another; it may be thought of as conformity to the norms of a group to which the individual aspires to belong rather than to those of one in which he or she currently hold membership. #RandolphHarris 7 of 9
What do all of these have in common in shaping of behavior, feeling, or thought in accordance with that of a referent, and to the extent that such attitudes and behaviors are organized around a particular social status (student, mother, father, teacher), the consequence of normative reference orientation is socialization or anticipatory socialization. It illuminates social mobility, acculturation, attitude change. May our minds be enlightened and the cloud of darkness lifted from us. Let us see with our spiritual eyes. Financial difficulty is a reality faced by millions of people. There is precious little money for the essentials—things like food, mortgage, rent, car repairs, and luxuries like dining out and going to the opera or theater. That is a reality in many households. However, fear not. God is there and he has already given you the key to prosperity: prayer. It is not just a matter of asking for money, there is more to it than that. God, we come to you with thanksgiving for all you have given us, and how you have blessed and sustained us for all this time. We lift up to you our finances and that you for your words and promises that you will supply all of our needs. #RandolphHarris 8 of 9
We pray that you will bless us with your provision now. Open the storehouse of Heaven and pour financial blessings up us. Give us wisdom as to how to handle all finances, and keep us from making any foolish decisions. Bless our work with success. Reveal to us how we can earn more and handle our finances more efficiently. Show us where we have spent unwisely and how we can reduce our debt and expenses. Show us if we are doing what you want us to do, or if you have other work for us. Open our eyes to see where we are not ling your way with regard to our finances. Teach us how to spend, save, invest and better organize our money and resources such a land, estates, travel, and other forms of capital. We know that our true treasure is found in you. Forgive us for any times when we have not fully loved out that truth. We choose to seek you, God, and your kingdom first and foremost in our lives, trusting that you will provide all we require. It is our glory that we may be an instrument in the hands of God, to bring some soul to repentance; and this is our joy. May our confidence in God increase. God treasures those who help his children (grown and youthful). Kindness is key to a celestial life. #RandolpHarris 9 of 9
Soul Food with Soul Doctors
Sometimes our enemies treat us like we are a physician and therapist, albeit a wrongheaded and mistaken one. This miserable affair has generated at least one desirable result for me, namely, that I would become personally aquatinted with you. Would you be kind enough to let me know when and where I might meet and talk with you, God? Heavenly Father, perhaps we could arrange this by telephone. In the pleasure of this expectations, I am your most devoted. Many of us would like to personally meet with God, and we can. When we pray with faith, we will feel God’s love as his spirit speaks to our souls. No matter how alone or uncertain one may feel, at times, we are not alone in this World. God knows us personally. As we pray, we will come to know him. As we study and ponder the scriptures, we will hear God’s voice, know his words, and come to have an intimate relationship with him. God will reveal his eternal truths to us, and his love and guidance will emanate from our very souls. On social behavior, exchange behavior should express or promote collective solidarity rather than individual benefit. We want our loved ones to learn to recognize the voice of the spirit. Our testimonies are strengthened as we talk about sacred truths. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
For as long as there have been households, there have been rules to direct household life. Most who are able to recall their teenage years, will remember their parents vehemently proclaiming, “As long as you live in my house, you will abide by my rules!” And the Earth is God’s household, so we must exercise proper conduct in the house of the Lord. God has taught us to give up our wicked ways and our Worldly desires and to live decent and honest lives in this World. The Holy Spirit, our comforter, helps us to behave. God’s spirit makes us loving, happy, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. Whenever people encounter one another in social interaction, communication is in progress; roles are being formed, enacted, and negotiated; attributions are being made, both to other and self; and identities are being validated or revised. Our goal is comprehensive know, we hope to gain intellectual orderliness within the narrow slice of reality we have chosen to acknowledge. Beneficial events of all kinds, whether they involve spirituality, money, good, smiles, or simple social attention, are valuable in exactly the same general sense: people for whom they are beneficial act in a way that tends to produce them. Such action is often called rational behavior. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
Worthiness is essential to becoming like God. All benefits have psychological and material properties. The capacity to provide some benefit to another is often called a resource. In generalized reciprocity, the reciprocal transaction starts with a noncontingent free-gift, and it can become one of a series of such transactions between two long-term partners. Once such an exchange relation has formed between two people, the paired contributions defining a transaction often lose their paired contingency. A helpful act is performed, not in response to any specific benefit received, but rather in honor of the social exchange relation itself, that relation being a series of reciprocating benefits extending into the experiences past and the anticipated future. Whether or not accounts are kept, in whatever form, is an empirical question given to the situation. A selfless person is one who is more concerned about the happiness and well-being of another than about his or her own convenience or comfort, and is willing to sacrifice, and purge from his or her mind and heart, personal wants, and needs, and feelings. Instead of reaching for and requiring praise and recognition for oneself, or gratification, the selfless person will meet the human needs for another person. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
People engage one another in two qualitatively different modes, a transactional mode in which each provides the other with benefit, and a mode called incorporation in which both (or all) parties contribute to collective gain. The two modes differ both in social process and in the typical motivation of the participants. Transactions involve reciprocal, but separate, benefits performed by persons motivated to enhance their own gains, as in bargaining over the units in a trading relation. Incorporation, by contrast, is based upon a special form of exchange in which separately obtained benefit is not possible. It takes two to dance the tango. If it is done well by both parties, both parties benefit from a single socially produced event. If either one fails to perform properly, neither one will benefit. Value is produced in the social process from behavioral contributions that have little or no value take by themselves. Sometimes the benefits of social exchange are immediately appreciated by all participants (though not necessarily in equal degree), and sometimes the productive process generates a tangible new resource that can be divided through acts of distribution. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
As a parent, can you take precious time to listen to your son or daughter tell you about what the young people are wearing, or what the teacher said? If you do, without interrupting, you may find they will talk to you even when they are really troubled because they have learned you listen. Human beings respond to principles of beneficial and negative feedback, or reinforcement. They tend to acts so as to optimize across a set valued (beneficial) inputs. What do people value? They value whatever it is they optimize. Human beings respond to principles of reinforcement. It is important to remember there can be no successful change in any of us unless we recognize a need to change. That must come first. With the recognition of the need to improve, may we now suggest as a part of the process of cultivating and nurturing the attribute of selflessness we begin to develop an attitude of service—the ongoing desire for the well-being of others. A beginning would be feeling empathy for those who need uplifting, then acting with caring thoughtfulness. Lord, please provide us with the knowledge and ability that we may see you in our fellow human beings. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
God, please provide us with great discernment that we may have sympathy for others, and open our hearts that we may love each other as you love us. Renew in us your spirit. Free us and make us one. God has compassion on those who sin, and he desires that we have that same compassion. He wants to turn our hearts of stone—as a result of hurts, betrayal, cynicism, or selfishness—into hearts of flesh that long to love God and make his love known to the World. As we go through our day, let us take some time to ask that God would give us a heart of compassion for the lost. Let us pray that through this heart of compassion, we will be moved to become a part of what God is doing to take the gospel to hurting people around the World. May God’s love be infused in our hearts and we spread kindness. This is the heart of God. By God’s grace, may it also be our heart. God will change our lives for the better, and make it possible for us to know him. We will discover peace with God. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
Randolph Harris II International Institute 