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She Bowed Like a Madonna, but She is Not Lost in Contemplation of the One!
I live on good soup, not on fine words. An empire founded by war has to maintain itself by war. The ideas that humans have about themselves both limit the and set them free. An individual can call oneself disabled and that is just what one will limits oneself to being. Or, a human can say one is a free thinker and adventurer and one can get to Neptune and beyond. Adepts not only seek the few who seek them but they also seek the fewer still who are qualified for them. The teacher does not lift the veil of Aaliayh for everyone one meets in the street but one will always lift it for those who ask aright. One cannot help all the millions of humankind. One can help only those who come into sympathetic and receptive contact with one or with one’s work. All the objects of human reason or enquiry may naturally be divided into two kinds, to wit, Relations of Ideas, and Matters of Fact. Of the first kind are the sciences of Trigonometry, Geometry, Algebra, and Arithmetic; and in short, every affirmation, which either intuitively or demonstratively certain. That the square of the hypothenuse is equal to the square of the two sides, is a proposition, which expresses a relation between these figures. That three times five is equal to the half of thirty, expresses a relation between these numbers. #RandolphHarris 1 of 20
Propositions of this kind are discoverable by the mere operation of thought, without dependence on what is any where existent in the Universe. Though there never were a circle or triangle in nature, the truths, demonstrated by EUCLID, would forever retain their certainty and evidence. Matters of fact, which are the second objects of human reason, are not ascertained in the same manner; nor is our evidence of their truth, however great, of a like nature with the foregoing. The contrary of every matter of fact is still possible; because it can never imply a contradiction, and is conceived by the mind with the same facility and distinctness, as if ever so conformable to reality. That the Sun will not rise to-morrow is no less intelligible a proposition, and implies no more contradiction, than the affirmation, that it will rise. We should in vain, therefore, attempt to demonstrate its falsehood. Were in demonstratively false, it would imply a contradiction, and could never be distinctly conceived by the mind. It may, therefore, be a subject worthy of curiosity, to enquire what is the nature of that evidence, which assures us of any real existence and matter of fact, beyond the present testimony of our senses, or the records of our memory. #RandolphHarris 2 of 20
This part of philosophy, it is observable, has been little cultivated, either by the ancients or moderns; and therefore our doubts and errors, in the prosecution of so important an enquiry, may be the more excusable; while we march through such difficult paths, without any guide or direction. They may even prove useful, by exciting curiosity, and destroying that implicit faith and security, which is the bane of all reasoning and free enquiry. The discovery of defects in the common philosophy, if any such there be, will not, I presume, be a discouragement, but rather an incitement, as is usual, to attempt something more full and satisfactory, than has yet been proposed to the public. The ultimate materials of imagination must consist of the primary parts of individuals, that is, of sense images, and at least some of their components and qualities. Imaginative activity is anchored in experience and restrained by experience. Further insight into the activity of imagination maybe obtained by examining our treatment of poetry. In its style—the rhythms, cadences, and tones of its language—poetry is restrained, but in all other ways is extremely free and licensed. In all things pertaining to its subject matter, it is dependent upon the imagination, which may at pleasure make unlawful matches and divorces of things. #RandolphHarris 3 of 20
In its poetical garb, imagination brings forth feigned history, which is but an imitation of history at pleasure, nevertheless, imagination work within those rational boundaries within which humans believe nature may be enlarged and corrected. Humans want a more perfect nature than pure reason, operating alone, can discover. In perfecting nature, poetry may even take the mind close to something divine: as the sensible World is inferior in dignity to the rational soul, we bestow upon human nature those things which history denies to it; and to satisfy the mind with the shadows of things when the substance cannot be obtained. For if the matter be attentively considered, a sound argument may be drawn to show that there is agreeable to the human soul [animae humanae as “the spirit of human.”] a more ample greatness, a more perfect order, and a more beautiful variety than it can anywhere (since the Fall) find in nature. And therefore, since the acts and events which are the subjects of real history are not of sufficient grandeur to satisfy the human mind, we are at hand to feign acts more heroical; since the successes and issues of actions as related in true history are far from being agreeable to the merits of virtue and vice, we correct it, exhibiting events and fortunes as according to merit and the law of providence; since true history wearies the mind with satiety of ordinary events, like another, we refresh it, by reciting tings unexpected and various and full of vicissitudes. #RandolphHarris 4 of 20
So that this we conduce not only to delight but also to magnanimity and morality. Whence it may be fairly thought to partake somewhat of a divine nature; because it raises the mind and carries it aloft, accommodating the shows of things to the desires of the mind, not (like reason and history) buckling and bowing down the mind to the nature of things. When the imagination thus acts, it creates narrative or heroical poetry. This species of verse makes its images such as might pass for real, yet it commonly exaggerates things beyond probability. The imagination sometimes goes quite beyond reason in dreams and visions. Perhaps it is acting irrationally also when it creates images like those of centaur, unicorn, mermaid, satyr, and Pan. These species of literature represents actions as if they were present. There may also be the implied observation that the imagination of a human in an audience is more easily stimulated or responds more intensely than is the case when one is alone. And certainly it is most true, and one of the great secrets of nature, that the minds of humans are more open to impressions and affections when many are gathered together than when they are alone. Hence the stage play can be a powerful instrument in moving humans to virtue. #RandolphHarris 5 of 20
Whenever you send a written communication, whether by regular mail or email, your writing style will be on full view. If you make any mistakes, they will reflect on you, so make a point of carefully reviewing everything you write, even informal notes. Want to impress someone? Send them a note, in the mail, handwritten, on nice stationary. They will be impressed. They will remember you. And they will think, “What a nice human being.” People often ask me, “Why should I write a note? Why not send an e-mail?” The answer is easy. If it is a choice between writing an e-mail or doing nothing, write the e-mail. However, if the choice is whether to send a handwritten note or an e-mail, then the handwritten note may just be the best idea. Think of it this way: With an e-mail, you type it, press Send, hope the e-mail makes it through any spam blockers, and then hope the recipient is interested enough by the subject line to actually read it. Once read, one closes it and hits the Delete button. With the handwritten note, after it is written, you place it in an envelope, address, place the correct and official postage stamp on it, and mail it. When the note arrives, the recipient invariably opens it. (Have you ever received a personal letter and not opened it?) Once read, it is placed on a tabletop, desk, or counter, or posted on a bulletin board or on your refrigerator with a magnet. It is seen again and again and each time it is seen, the recipient thinks of you. #RandolphHarris 6 of 20
When you receive and open a gift without the giver being present, please send a hand written thank-you note. In fact, even if the giver is present and you thank the individual, send a note anyway. The human will be really impressed. When you stay at someone’s house overnight, send a thank-you note. When you go to someone’s house for dinner, send a thank-you note. Other things to consider. Send a note saying congratulations for graduating or on a promotion or new job, or when a new addition to the family had arrived or a special anniversary or birthday is being celebrated. Nonetheless, one of the hardest notes to send and one of the most appreciated notes to receive is the bereavement note. We all experience the loss of a loved one or close friend and when we do it is devastating. The notes of sympathy and remembrance are a catalyst to helping get through the pain of the loss. It seems like such a small thing from the perspective of the sender. However, for the recipient those notes are a powerful comfort to help deal with the loss. Take some time to think about something short and heartfelt to say and maybe get a friend to review it to make sure it is received well. Now, what to say in a thank-you note. It is easy. When writing a thank-you note, keep it short and sweet. Just three to five sentences is all you need. #RandolphHarris 7 of 20
To highlight how to write a nice thank-you note:
Dear Tori, and Jill,
What a great weekend! The dinner party Saturday night could not have been better, and I enjoyed meeting all your new friends in Tofino, British Columbia. Hope we can get together soon, and I really enjoyed the shepherd’s pie. Hope we can get together again soon.
Thanks for making my visit such a pleasure.
Randolph
(Maximum time to write: ten minutes. Maximum benefit to you: incalculable.)
#RandolphHarris 8 of 20
To be someone’s disciple is to go farther in relationship than to be one’s student. What is the number of the house? What do I see? A public display of fancy articles. My beautiful stranger, it may be shocking on my part, but I am following the bright path. She has forgotten what happened—ah, yes, when one is seventeen years old, when one goes shopping in this happy age, when every single large or little object picked up gives unspeakable delight, then one really forgets. As yet she has not seen me: I am standing at the other end of the counter, far off by myself. There is a mirror on the opposite wall; she is not contemplating it, but the mirror is contemplating her. How faithfully it has caught her image, like a humble slave who shows his devotion by his faithfulness, a slave for whom she certainly has significance but who has no significance for her, who indeed dares to capture her but not to hold her. Unhappy mirror, which assuredly can grasp her image but not her; unhappy mirror, which cannot secretly hide her image in itself, hide it from the whole World, but can only disclose it to others as it now does to me. What torture if a human being were fashioned that way. And yet are there not many people who are like that, who possess nothing except at the moment when they are showing it to others, who merely grasp the surface, not the essence, lose everything when this is going to show itself, just as the mirror would lose her image if she were to disclose her heart to it by a single breathe. #RandolphHarris 9 of 20
And if a person were unable to possess an image in recollection at the very moment of presence, one must ever wish to be at a distance from beauty, not so close that the mortal eyes cannot see the beauty of that which one holds in one’s embrace and which the external eyes have lost, which he, to be sure, can regain for the external vision by distancing himself from it, but which one can, in fact, have before the eye of his soul when he cannot see the object because it is to close to him, when lips are clinging to lips. How beautiful she is! Poor mirror, it must be tormenting—it is good that you do not know jealousy. The master will teach with love what the student must learn with reverence. The zeal of the Master will by slow degrees permeate the heart of the disciple. Under the Sunshine of this encouragement, inspiration, and stimulation, the inner life expands. Only those who have themselves felt it can understand how one is able to exert such drawing power and arouse such fervid devotion in disciples. There is intimacy in the fellowship between teacher and disciple which is unique. There is an impersonality in this most personal human relationship which equally unique. No other relationship, whether familial or friendly, can compare with this relationship in depth or beauty or value. There is no bound so strong, no attraction so deep as that between Master and pupil. Consequently it persists through incarnation after incarnation. #RandolphHarris 10 of 20
It is a special kind of relationship, one which is less dependent on physical conditions than any other human relationship. If they never meet again, never see each other again, it remains unchangeably the same to the end. One must be eloquent when one unveils the symbolism of the Cross. One can only admire one’s reverence for the mystery which is revealed and the depth which one sees in it. And one can hardly resist quoting one at length again and again. Yet one feels a certain embarrassment. One can sense the impression of having discovered the fullness of the symbol of the Cross. One praises the Fathers who composed the Apostles’ creed for the fact that one of its great features is that in all-embracing second article it has enumerated symbols of subjection along with symbols of victory. Credit should therefore be given to them for reading the symbolism of the Cross and confessing its relevance to Christian faith. However, I see their confession only an anticipation: they anticipated the basic structure in which the universal significance of Jesus the Christ as the bearer of the New Being must be seen. Who fulfilled the anticipation, one is left to imagine. One thing is certain. The anticipation is not fulfilled by Christianity. #RandolphHarris 11 of 20
Christianity may be great. Whenever the hardness and the crust are broken through and the substance becomes visible, it exercises a peculiar fascination; then we see what we have now lost, and a deep yearning awakens in us for the departed youth of our culture. However, Christianity is consistently heteronomous. Refusing to place itself under the judgment, it implicitly rejects the Cross. It has abandoned the prophetic spirit which says “no” together with “yes” and “yes” together with “no.” Ecclesiastically limited Christianity, petrified and mechanized in its forms, is unable to place itself on the Cross and, through repentance and self-condemnation, to give itself a new life. Just as Jesus could not have been the Christ without sacrificing himself as Jesus to himself as the Christ, so must a Church sacrifice itself. The criterion of the truth of faith is that it implies an element of self-negation. Christianity professes no such element. Driven by this criterion, Protestantism has criticized the Roman Church. This Church has been led into forms of idolatry because she did not take seriously enough the Cross of the Christ. Only in Protestantism has the Cross been given its due place. Protestantism is not only a protest, it is also—and above all—Christianity. It is also and above all the bearer and mediator of the New Being manifest in Jesus Christ. #RandolphHarris 12 of 20
Protestantism is thus found wherever—even outside of Protestant denominations, even outside of professedly Christian groups—the boundary-situation is proclaimed to be the very situation of salvation; wherever the meaning of the Cross is announced; wherever the Christian substance is preached under the shadow of the Cross. The fact that this criterion is identical with the Protestant principle and has become reality in the Cross of the Christ constitutes the superiority of Protestant Christianity. Yet not all Protestantism is thus saved. The end of the Protestant era means precisely that institutional Protestantism is no longer the standard-bearer of the Protestant principle. It is merely on the defensive. If the protest against itself on the basis of an experience of God’s majesty constitutes the Protestant principle, it is evident that the Churches are not engaged in protesting against themselves. The basic problem of Protestant institutions is to elaborate beneficial forms of life while constantly denying their sufficiency. This is so difficult that my objection to institutionalism may be turned against me. If to institutionalize salvation often entails a withdrawal of the element of self-negation, an undermining of the meaning of the Cross, is not me myself transcending self-negation when I proclaim the superiority of Protestant Christianity? #RandolphHarris 13 of 20
This pride in superiority is as arrogant as the sacramental authority of bishops and priests has ever been. If a claim to superiority is clearly justified, a moderate pride in it may be forgiven. Yet how Protestant is Protestantism? The institutional Churches being partly discarded, what remains? There remain those who are, Protestant unawares. Where are the Protestants? They are wherever Protestantism appears as the prophetic spirit which lists where it will, without ecclesiastical conditions, organizations and tradition. Thus it will operate through Christianity as well as through orthodoxy, through freedom as well as through capitalism. The question is, Are the Reformers themselves among these disciples of the ground of being? It is by fidelity to the Cross that the God of Protestantism has no sacraments which can be divorced from the prophetic message and therefore no priesthood and no genuine cult. Two comments are pertinent. In the first place, how can Christian faith involve a true relation to God if it does not inspire adoration? And adoration means cults. In the second place, it has always been the Christian understanding of the Cross that the Cross was an expression, a symbol, of worship. This is why the Church Fathers saw in it the unique sacrifice of the Son of God. #RandolphHarris 14 of 20
Christianity has embodied this in its theology of the Eucharist, which is a re-presentation of the unique sacrifice of the Cross, of the cult offered by Jesus the Christ of the Father. The Reformers strenuously maintained that, in the words of the Confession of Augsburg, “The Passion of Christ was an oblation and a satisfaction.” That is, it was an act of divine cult. How Christ is both the Father and the Son—He will make intercessions and bear the transgressions of His people—they and all the holy prophets are His seed—He brings to pass the Resurrection—little children have eternal life. About 148 Before Christ. “And now Abinadi said unto them: I would that ye should understand that God Himself shall come down among the children of humans, and shall redeem His people. And because He dwelleth in flesh He shall be called the Son of God, and having subjected the flesh to the will of the Father, being the Father and the Son—the Father, because He was conceived by the power of God; and the Son, because of the flesh; this becoming the Father and Son—and they are one God, yea, the very Eternal Father of Heaven and of Earth. And thus the flesh becoming subject to the Spirit, or the Son to the Father, being one God, suffereth temptation, and yieldth not to the temptation, but suffereth oneself to be mocked, and scourged, and cast out, and disowned by His people. #RandolphHarris 15 of 20
“And after all this, after working many mighty miracles among the children of humans, He shall be led, yea, even as Isaiah said, as a sheep before the shearer is dumb, so one opened not one’s mouth. Yea, even so one shall be led, crucified, and slain, the flesh becoming subject even unto death, the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father. And thus God breaketh the bands of death, having gained the victory over death; giving the Son power to make intercession for the children of humans—having ascended into Heaven, having the bowels of mercy; being filled with compassion towards the children of humans; standing betwixt them and justice; having broke the bands of death, taken upon Himself their iniquity and their transgressions, having redeemed them, and satisfied the demands of justice. And now I say unto you, who shall declare one’s generation? Behold, I say unto you, that when one’s soul has been made an offering for sin one shall see one’s seed. And now what say ye? And who shall be his seed? Behold I say unto you, that whosoever has heard the words of the prophets, yea, all the holy prophets who have prophesied concerning the coming of the Lord—I say unto you, that all those who have hearkened unto their words, and believed that the Lord would redeem His people, and have looked forward to that day for a remission of their sins, I say unto you, that these are His seed, or they are the heirs of the kingdom of God. #RandolphHarris 16 of 20
“For these are they whose sins He has borne; these are they for whom He has died, to redeem them from their transgressions. And now are they not his seed? Yea, and are not the prophets, every one that has opened one’s mouth to prophesy, that has no fallen into transgression, I mean all the holy prophets ever since the World began? I say unto you that they are his seed. And these are they who have published peace, who have brought good tidings of good, who have published salvation; and said unto Zion: Thy God reigneth! And O how beautiful upon the mountains were their feet! And again, how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those that are still publishing peace! And again, how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those who shall hereafter publish peace, yea, from this time henceforth and forever! And behold, I say unto you, this is not all. For O how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of one that bringeth good tidings, that is the founder of peace, yea, His people; yea, Him who has granted salvation unto His people. For were it not for the redemption which He hath made for His people, which was prepared from the foundation of the World, I say unto you, were it not for this, all humankind must have perished. However, behold, the bands of death shall be broken, and the Son reigneth, and hath power over the dead; therefore, He bringeth to pass the resurrection of the dead. #RandolphHarris 17 of 20
“And there cometh a resurrection, even a first resurrection; yea, even a resurrection of those that have been, and who are, and who shall be, even until the resurrection of Christ—for so shall he be called. And now, the resurrection of all the prophets, and all those that have believed in their words, or all those that have kept the commandments of God, shall come forth in first resurrection; therefore, they are the first resurrection. They are raised to dwell with God who has redeemed them; thus they have eternal life through Christ, who has broken the bands of death. And these are those who have part in the first resurrection; and these are they that have died before Christ came, in their ignorance, not having salvation declared unto them. And thus the Lord bringeth about the restoration of these; and they have a part in the first resurrection, or have eternal life, being redeemed by the Lord. And little children also have eternal life. However, behold, and fear, and tremble before God, for ye ought to tremble; for the Lord redeemeth none such that rebel against him and die in their sins; yea, even all those that have perished in their sins ever since the World began, that have willfully rebelled against God, that have known the commandments of God, and would not keep them; these are they that have no part in the first resurrection. #RandolphHarris 18 of 20
“Therefore ought ye not to tremble? For salvation cometh to none such; for the Lord hath redeemed none such; yea, neither can the Lord redeem such; for He cannot deny Himself; for He cannot deny justice when it has its claim. And now I say unto you that the time shall come that the salvation of the Lord shall be declared to every nation, kindred, tongue, and people. Yea, Lord, Thy watch-people shall lift up their voice; with the voice together shall they sing; for they shall see eye to eye, when the Lord shall bring again Zion. Break forth into joy, sing together, ye waste places of Jerusalem; for the Lord hath comforted His people, He hath redeemed Jerusalem. The Lord hath made bare His holy arm in the eyes of all the nations; and all the ends of the Earth shall see the salvation of our God,” reports Mosiah 15.1-31. O God of Love, I approach Thee with encouragement derived from Thy character, for I am not left to feel after Thee in the darkness of my nature, nor to worship Thee as the unknown God. I cannot find out Thy perfections, but I know Thou art good, ready to forgive, plenteous in mercy. Thou hast displayed Thy wisdom, power, and goodness in all Thy works, and hast revealed thy will in the Scripture of truth. Thou hast caused it to be preserved, translated, published, multiplied, so that all humans may possess it and find thee in it. #RandolphHarris 19 of 20
Here I see Thy greatness and Thy grace, Thy pity and Thy rectitude, Thy mercy and Thy truth, Thy being and human’s hearts; through it Thou hast magnified Thy name, and favoured humankind with the gospel. Please have mercy on me, for I have ungratefully received Thy benefits, little improved my privileges, made light of spiritual things, disregarded Thy messages, contended with examples of the god, rebukes of conscience, admonitions of friends, leadings of providence. I deserve that Thy kingdom be taken away from me. Lord, I confess my sin with feeling, lamentation, a broken heart, a contrite spirit, self-abhorrence, self-condemnation, self-despair. Please give me relief by Jesus my hope, faith in His name of Saviour, forgiveness by His blood, strength by His presence, holiness by His Spirit: And please let me love Thee with all my heart. O God, Who although Thou art wholly present everywhere, and containest all thing with Thine own Majesty, yet hast willed that places suitable for Thy Mysteries should be consecrated unto Thee, that the house of Prayer should themselves stir up the minds of Thy suppliants to call upon this place, and show to all who hope in Thee the gift of Thine assistance; that here they may obtain both the virtue of Thy Sacraments, and the effect of their own prayers; through Jesus Christ our Lord. #RandolphHarris 20 of 20
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Women Swear and Men Gossip, Yet I Shall Attempt so Justice with Mercy!
At the beginning of the World Series, I experienced a completely new emotion, when the National Anthem was played. This time, I thought, it is being played for me, as much as for anyone else. This is organized major league baseball, and I am standing here with all the others; and everything that takes place includes me. Remember that day when you moved into the first place of your own? You were the king of your castle: nobody to answer to, nobody to share chores with. You could watch the TV shows you wanted to watch, eat the foods you wanted to eat, and clean up or not. What a great setup! It is also usually a very temporary state of affairs. One day—sooner than they might have imagined—most men wake up and find themselves married or living with a significant other or roommate. And whenever living space is shared, differences of opinion inevitably arise over the care and use of those spaces. If not handled thoughtfully, these differences can turn into conflicts. Fortunately, the complexities of thoughtful home sharing can be vastly simplified by thinking of your house as a series of discrete spaces—each with its own set of issues. Keep these key issues firmly in mind, and life will be blissfully peaceful on the homes front. The two rooms that have the most potential for conflicts are the kitchen and the bathroom. #RandolphHarris 1 of 20
When we asked women to identify the leading case of conflict in the kitchen, they gave one overwhelming answer: When it comes to cleaning up, especially after themselves, men do not do their share. If you go into the kitchen to make something to eat, clean up the mess before you start eating and do not leave any dishes in the sink because the kitchen is really the soul of Cresleigh Homes. It is where the family gathers and makes meals and often eats. It is the room that requires the most cooperation to keep it clean and functioning. Sincerity matters. If you say you will clean the dishes, then do it. Forgetting sets a pattern, and it established a precedent that your words is not good. In any relationship, the trust the grows out of keeping your promises is a cornerstone of its success. The bathroom is the one place where we all truly want to be private and comfortable. In an ideal World, everyone would have a bathroom that was theirs and theirs alone. In reality, however, most of us share a bathroom with a significant other, and perhaps with others family members or roommates. This overlap of personal space is where trouble starts. Women tend to be very particular about the bathroom. They do not like the toilet seat to be left up, no urine on the toilet seat, and no water or shaving stubble left on the counter. #RandolphHarris 2 of 20
Always makes sure you flush the toilet, and put the toilet seat back down. It is not sexist because we all have to sit down at sometime. In the middle of the night no one wants to fall in the toilet. If there is a fan in the bathroom, turn in on before you use the shower or the toilet and also makes sure to clean the bathtub out when you bathe. Try not to clean the bathroom with bleach because it could ruin someone’s clothes. When it comes to bathroom behaviour, it is almost always a good idea to be accommodating of your partner’s needs and desires. This delicate area is generally not the place to make a stand on some point of personal self-expression. And a closed door is an unspoken request for privacy, and it should be honoured at all times. There is no questions that I have got to be cleaned up: shaved, combed, dressed nicely, and smelling good by the time we leave the house or sit down at the dinner table. In the Middle Ages, knights in shining armour met each other encased from head to toe in metal. Often they simply could not be identified and had no idea if the other knight was friend or foe. So they took to lifting off their helmets to reveal their identities to each other. The servers at banquets in the Middle Ages were required to remove their hats as a mark of deference to the patrons. The removing of a head covering became a custom and evolved into the removal of a hat being a mark of respect. This action had remained a custom ever since. #RandolphHarris 3 of 20
When you enter a person’s home, removing your hat is a symbol of your respect for the owner. Likewise, as you enter a restaurant, taking off your cap is the right thing to do for the people you are with and for the other diners. Anytime you enter a place of worship, your baseball cap should come off. However, when you enter a store or other public space, you can keep your cap on. Each of us is responsible for the image we project. Taking that responsibility seriously is a clear signal of your respect for others. If you choose to go on a date without cleaning up first, you are responsible when your date decides she does not want to see you again. Pass gas, spitting, or let loose with a string of expletives when you are with a group of friends, and they may forgive one episode—but make it a habit, and you could quickly find yourself without friends. These are not random examples, many people responded that these are pet peeves. Failing to bathe, passing gas, and foul languages all emerged as major issues—as did smoking, chewing gum, and spitting. Clean hair and nails are a must; a well-groomed man is very attractive! Soap and water are affordable enough for everyone to be clean. Sometimes, especially when cigars are involved, men forget that their exhaled smoke is generally viewed as obnoxious, invasive, and annoying. #RandolphHarris 4 of 20
It is worth remembering that many people often have an especially visceral reaction to cigar smoke. If you choose to light up a stogie in a private home or a public place that allow it, check with everyone in your group first to make sure no one minds—then offer cigars to anyone who wants one, including women. However, do not forget that cigar smoke can linger in your clothes. Furthermore, people also have different opinions about what constitutes swearing. That is why I always try to keep colourful language out of my presentations; I do not want to risk offending any participants, and the use of swear words is not going to enhance my message one bit. Being careful to choose our words so we do not often our listeners is a lesson we all need to relearn periodically. Even when you are with a group of friends accustomed to using profanity, if you think that someone—anyone—in the group might be bothered by it, then be considerate and hold your tongue. And if you are not sure…hold it anyway. Just like we think men are the only gender that swears, we also think that women are the only gender that gossips. Well, it is not true. Women swear and men gossip. In fact, I am amazed how much some men gossip, even when live sports were being played, one can frequently hear men talking about other men more than anything else. #RandolphHarris 5 of 20
Unfortunately, gossip is insidious. Unlike a joke, which is a momentary thing, gossip lingers. It clouds our opinion of the people being gossiped about, but it also makes one thing less of the slanderer. So, whether it is on the golf course, at the water cooler, or over lunch, make the effort to put a stop to gossip when you hear it. At the very least do not contribute to it and do not repeat what you hear. A more proactive stance would include indicating you are uncomfortable with the conversation, offering a defense of the individual, and refusing to be part of gossip and make the proactive effort, women notice their willingness to stand up for another person, and they appreciate it. Also, when in your care, consciously work to be considerate of other people in your car and the cars around you. That is how to combat road rage. If you are upset, consider pulling off the road in a safe place. The prince Lestat in Anne Rice’s Queen of the Damned may have been a sadist, and he did not understand what it took to make a relationship work. Look at any relationship that is in trouble, and it is a good bet, if it is not because of money, a failure to communicate is the issue. Half of all communication is listening. So being a good listener is critical to the success of your communication with your wife, significant other, family, friends, strangers, and work colleagues. #RandolphHarris 6 of 20
Safe. That is what communication in a relationship needs to be. Out of that safety and sincerity grow trust, confidence, and a better, stronger relationship. Figure out how to focus on the other person. It is worth the effort for both of you and for your relationship. When you are trying to communicate, whether one on one or in a group setting, the skill of listening to others is just as important as your ability to express yourself. Besides paying close attention to what the other person is saying, make it clear that you are listening carefully by looking directly at the other person who is speaking. Do no interrupt until that person is done making his or her point. Then respond by asking questions and offering observations based on what is said. Make a habit of listening effectively, and you will find that your relationships will grow and deepen. Your voice communicates a lot about how you are really feeling. If your words indicate genuine interest but your voice is a monotone, what is the message you are sending? You really do not mean what you are saying: Tone. Anger, frustration, joy, concern. People react not only to your words but how they are said and the tone of your voice. When you were growing up, how often did you hear these words from your father or mother: “Do not take that tone of voice with me.” #RandolphHarris 7 of 20
Speed. Speed kills. In conversation, speed makes comprehension difficult, so slow down. The people or person you are talking with needs a little time to process what you are saying, especially if it is a serious, important subject. Speaking clearly. Mumbling, grunting—not only are you hard to understand, it sounds like you are trying not to be understood. Instead of contributing to the conversation you sound as if you are trying to avoid it. Accent. People come from different nationalities, even different areas of the United States of America. If you have an accent that is different from the person or people with whom you are talking, it may make it more difficult for them to understand you. In that case, speed is doubly problematic. And speaking clearly becomes even more important for you to be understood. Good listeners honour the person they are with by the way they focus on that person. Look them in the eyes. Eye contact is a key part of any interaction. Nod or say “Uh huh.” Simple nonverbal cues can demonstrate that your focus is squarely on the person and not somewhere else. Ask a question or repeat a point. Question and comments show you are really a part of the conversation and are hearing what the other person has to say. #RandolphHarris 8 of 20
Avoid nervous habits. Even if you are paying attention to what a person is saying, if you are playing with an object, it sends the message that you are distracted. Wait your turn. It is very annoying to be in midsentence and suddenly have the person you are talking to start talking right over you. A good listener waits for a natural break, that momentary pause before jumping in with a comment or question. The method of a philosophic teacher is not to make the decisions of the pupil for one but rather to lead one to make them for oneself. The teacher will outline the process of arriving at the correct conclusion, but one will not deprive the pupil of responsibility of trusting that process and accepting its outcome. The teacher may even make available information which will be helpful to the student in arriving at a decision, but beyond that one cannot go if the student is to arrive at a decision, but beyond that one cannot go if the student is to arrive at independence and maturity. The relationship which we find in mystical or the Old-World circles, which leaves the pupil completely or continuously dependent upon one’s guide and causes one to come constantly running hither and tither for advice as to what one should do next, will only increase the helplessness of the pupil. The philosophic way is to help one develop one’s own ability to dispose of problems and confront situations effectively. #RandolphHarris 9 of 20
The philosophic method is to lead one to a point where one requires no teacher. The mystical method is to lead one to the point where one cannot do without the teacher. The teacher who demands blind obedience from one’s pupil belongs to a vanishing age. The teacher who strives to make one’s pupil’s own mind understand each step of the way one travels belongs to the coming age. The first often ends by enslaving one’s followers, whereas the second ends by liberating them. The first is a dictator, the second a companion. The first creates nonentities, the second, humans. A wise teacher will no lecture to one’s students, will not try the superficial way of telling them every detail of truth. However, by discussion questioning and encouragement one will help them to elicit it for themselves and thus enable them to make it deeply and lastingly their own. The right way to teach humans is to propose truth, not impose it. A philosophic teacher often prefers to let the student make one’s own discoveries on the basis of clues provided rather than lead one into rigid imprisoning doctrines. The true teacher should stimulate thought and not stereotype it. If an aspirant is fortunate enough to get direct and personal guidance on this kind, one is fortunate indeed. The master gives a candidate the seeds and teaches one how to cultivate them: how to water, nourish, and tend the plants which sprout up from them. #RandolphHarris 10 of 20
The highest type of teacher does not want and will not encourage a blind unquestioning acceptance of one’s own views. The true teacher interprets the divine will for one’s disciple but does not impose it on one. Such a guidance may proffer advice and tender suggestions but one will never issue orders and dictate decisions. Instead of trying to deprive the student of one’s capacity to intuit truths for oneself, the disinterested teacher will try to create it. A genuine teacher will not seek to dominate the soul of a student, will not strive to impose one’s own will upon one. For the teacher desires to see a natural and not a forced artificial growth, to free humans and not to enslave them. The real master spiritualizes one’s disciple but does not debilitate one. The self-actualized who does not want to enslave disciples, will guide them to do what they themselves ought to be doing, but are weakly and foolishly expecting one to do for them. A prudent master prefers not to help people but to help them to help themselves. If you do not put into one’s hands the knowledge and equipment wherewith one can acquire strength, it is merely a mockery to admonish a weakling to become strong. It is the teacher’s duty to foster one’s disciple’s creativeness, not his imitativeness—to encourage the disciple to develop one’s own inspiration. #RandolphHarris 11 of 20
The average teacher takes from one’s own personal experience what helped one most or what one’s own teacher led one to, and passes it on to the student as being “the Path,” the only way to God, the sole method of arriving at truth—whether this particular way or method suits the individual type or one’s degree of development or not. One almost forces it on the student, even if it is contrary to the latter’s entire temperament or need. The poor student finds oneself imprisoned and locked up in one’s teacher’s personal opinions and practices, as if nothing good existed outside them. The wisest master lets the disciple develop in one’s own way, according to one’s own individuality. Such a teacher will be the student’s motivating influence while, paradoxically, encouraging one to preserve one’s independence. What the wise teacher does is to wait for the right situations to develop in which one’s own efforts can be most fruitful. One has waited for years, reserving the full expression of one’s powers until the crucial hour when the aspirant is ready to receive one. Until then, one must conceal one’s identity. One’s wisdom in refusing to influence the student’s decisions will not be apparent at first. Indeed it will be regarded as unwisdom—and one’s attitude will be felt as unsympathetic. #RandolphHarris 12 of 20
It is not the business of a master to save the disciple from suffering so much as to save one from the faults in oneself which create suffering. One may suggest and advise but never impose one’s will upon yours. One turns a lamp upon your problems but leaves you free to work the out for yourself. It seems that certain topics can dominate men’s conversations. The problem is some of those topics really are not particularly interesting to some people. What is inappropriate talk? Talk about pleasures of the flesh, bathroom business and finances. Jokes can be a great conversational gambit, but be careful about the kind of jokes you tell. Somewhat indecent or poor comments and jokes in poor taste may be funny when you are alone with your buddies, but they may be resented when in mixed company or in front of kids and may provoke an adverse and dangerous reaction. If you cannot be sure a joke or a question will be well received, then it is better to keep it to yourself. I was asked to give a seminar to the staff of a large ski area including the ski and snowboard instructors. One issue the company wanted to address was word choice. It turned out that some of the younger instructors were using a word that was actually costing the ski area business. Parents were writing comments indicating they were not going to purchase any more family lessons because they were fed up with hearing it. #RandolphHarris 13 of 20
The word: we cannot mention it. That word is extremely derogatory, and when said repeatedly over an hour it is awfully offensive to these parents. And that offensiveness was costing the company revenue. To the young instructors, the word was harmless—a normal part of their vocabulary and popular music—and they thought it was hip, witty, and trendy and should not elicit such a reaction. However, it did. Even though a particular word you use may be totally innocent or acceptable to you, if the person you are speaking to is offended by it, then perhaps you need to find an alternative. Also, nonverbal cues are important. When you are talking with someone face-to-face you are giving nonverbal cues that enhance what you are saying. Those cues can reinforce your words or belie them. When you are with another person, not only do the words you say matter, your image maters as well. You can roll your eyes and imply your disgust or frustration. You can purse your lips and suggest impatience or simmering anger. You can jiggle your foot or drum your fingers and communicate your nervousness. You can sit back, slouched, with your arms crossed and indicate your nonreceptiveness. When you say one thing and your body says another, you are not communicating effectively. #RandolphHarris 14 of 20
A master’s work is not to issue command which must be obeyed by enslaved disciples, but to formulate principles which must be understood by enlightened ones. It is not to create belief but to strengthen knowledge. King Laman dies—his people are wild and ferocious and believe in false traditions—Zeniff and his people prevail against them. About 187-160 Before Christ. And it came to pas that we again began to establish the kingdom and we gain began to possess the land in peace. And I caused that there should be weapons of war made of every kind, that thereby I might have weapons for my people against the time the Lamanites should come up again to war against me people. And I set guards round about the land, that the Lamanites might not come upon us again unawares and destroy us; and thus I did guard my people and my flocks, and keep them from falling into the hands of our enemies. And it came to pass that we did inherit the land of our fathers for many years, yea, for the space of twenty and two years. And I did cause that the men should till the ground, and raise all manner of grain and all manner of fruit of every kind. And I did cause that women should spin, and toil, and work, and work all manner of fine linen, yea, and cloth of every kind, that we might clothe our nakedness; and thus we did prosper in the land—thus we did have continual peace in the land for the space of twenty and two years. #RandolphHarris 15 of 20
And it came to pass that king Laman died, and his son began to stir his people up in rebellion against my people; therefore they began to prepare for war, and to come up to battle against my people. However, I had sent my spies out round about the land of Shemlon, that I might discover their preparations, that I might guard against them, that they might not come upon my people and destroy them. And it came to pass that they came up upon the north of the land of Shilom, with their numerous hosts, men armed with bows, and with arrows, and with swords, and with cimeters, and with stones, and with slings; and they had their heads shaved that they were naked; and they were girded with a leathern gridle about their loins. And it came to pass that I caused that the women and children of my people should be hid in the wilderness; and I also caused that all my old men that could bear arms, and also all my young men that were able to bear arms, should gather themselves together to go to battle against the Lamanites; and I did place them in their ranks, every man according to his age. And it came to pass that we did go up to battle against the Lamanites; and I, even I, in my old age, did go up to battle against the Lamanites. And it came to pass that we did go up in the strength of the Lord to battle. #RandolphHarris 16 of 20
Now, the Lamanites knew nothing concerning the Lord, nor the strength of the Lord, therefore they depended upon their own strength. Yet they were a strong people, as to the strength of humans. They were a wild, and ferocious, and blood thirsty people, believing in the tradition of their fathers, which is this—Believing that they were driven out of the land of Jerusalem because of the iniquities of their fathers, and that they were wronged in the wilderness by their brethren, and they were also wronged while crossing the sea; and again, that they were wronged while in the land of their first inheritance, after they had crossed the sea, and all this because that Nephi was more faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord—therefore he was favored of the Lord, for the Lord heard his prayers and answered them, and he took the lead of their journey in the wilderness. And his brethren were wroth with hum because they understood not the dealings of the Lord; they were also wroth with him upon the waters because they hardened their hearts against the Lord. And again, they were wroth with him when they had arrived in the promised land, because they said that he had taken the ruling of the people out of their hands; and they sought to kill him. #RandolphHarris 17 of 20
And again, they were worth with him because he departed into the wilderness as the Lord had commanded him, and took the records which were engraven on the plates of brass, for they said that he robbed them. And thus they have taught their children that they should hate them, and that they should murder them, and that they should rob and plunder them, and do all they could to destroy them; therefore they have an eternal hatred towards the children of Nephi. For this very cause has king Laman, by his cunning, and lying craftiness, and his fair promises, deceived me, that I have brought this my people up into this land, that they may destroy them; yes, and we have suffered these many years in the land. And now I, Zeniff, after having told all these things unto my people concerning the Lamanites, I did stimulate them to go to battle with their might, putting their trust in the Lord; therefore, we did contend with them, face to face. And it came to pass that we did drive them again out of our land; and we slew them with a great slaughter, even so many that we did not number them. And it came to pass that we returned again to our own land, and my people again began to tend their flocks, and to till their ground. #RandolphHarris 18 of 20
And now I, being old, did confer the kingdom upon one of my sons; therefore, I say no more. And may the Lord bless my people. Amen. The philosophic teacher leaves to the individual pupil how one shall apply these principles to one’s own life, and does not try to chalk out precise details of such a practice for one. One’s unwillingness to give specific advice on practical personal matters should not be construed as unwillingness to help, or as lack of interest in them. It is only that one wants the solution to come straight out of the student’s own being, so that the growth will be the student’s too. O God, I know that I often do Thy work without Thy power, and sin by my cold, heartless, blind service, my lack of inward light, love, delight, my mind, heart, tongue moving without Thy help. I see sin in my heart in seeking the approbation of others; this is my vileness, to make human’s opinion my rule, whereas I should see what good I have done, and give Thee glory, consider what sin I have committed and mourn for that. It is my deceit to preach, and pray, and to stir up others’ spiritual affections in order to beget commendations, whereas my rule should be daily to consider myself more vile than any human in my own eyes. #RandolphHarris 19 of 20
However, Thou does show Thy power by my frailty, so that the more feeble I am, the more fit to be used, for Thou does pitch a tent of grace in my weakness. Please help me to rejoice in my infirmities and give Thee praise, to acknowledge my deficiencies before others and not be discouraged by them, that they may see Thy glory more clearly. Please teach me that I must act by a power supernatural, whereby I can attempt things above my strength, and bear evils beyond my strength, acting for Christ in all, and having His superior power to help me. Let me learn of Paul whose presence was mean, his weakness great, his utterance contemptible, yet Thou did account him faithful and blessed. Lord, let me lean on Thee as he did, and find my ministry thine. Almighty and everlasting God, please bring us to the fellowship of Heavenly joys; that Thou mayest vouchsafe an entrance into Thy kingdom to those that are born again of the Holy Ghost, and that the lowly flock may reach that place whither the mighty Shepherd had gone before; through the same Jesus Christ our Lord. Please hear us, O Almighty God; and as Thou hast bestowed on Thy family the perfect grace of Baptism, so do Thou dispose their hearts to the attainment of eternal bliss; though Jesus Christ our Lord. #RandolphHarris 20 of 20
In the #DIY mood? Learn how to create your own raised vegetable planters in this week’s blog post up now! Link in bio. 🍅🌽🥦 https://www.instagram.com/p/CB6fAsOpl1v/
Love is Not Cancelled–Human Nature is so Well Disposed Toward those Who are in Interesting Situations!
We have learned that we cannot live alone, in peace; that our own well-being is dependent on the well-being of other nations, far away…We have learned to be citizens of the World, members of the human community. We need greater virtues to bear good fortune than bad. Getting past the “E” word is important. Etiquette is the conductive or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social official life. There are a lot of specific guidelines that dictate how people should react in a given situation. However, these guidelines exist for a purpose: to help smooth the way for beneficial interactions between people by prescribing the ways in which we are expected to act and react to people around us. When we use the manners that are expected us of, the Heavens do not part, and crowds do not applaud us; life just goes on smoothly, the way it should. Only when we do not use them does the importance of good manners becomes obvious. For example, one manner states that if you say “Hi” or “Good morning” to a person at work, that person should respond in a like manner, since this is the considerate thing to do. So far, so good. However, if you say “Hi,” and your coworker did not say anything in return, what happens? How would that make you feel? You would probably wonder something like this, “Did I do something to annoy him?” or “Does not anybody ever notice that I exist?” or even “Do I look too attractive?” #RandolphHarris 1 of 21
Manner matter. Use them, and you will make the best impression possible. Still, no one can possibly know all the manners there are or remember precisely how to apply them in every situation. Etiquette is governed by three principles: consideration, respect, and honesty. These provide the framework for defining every manner that has ever been formulated. Each of these principles is timeless. These principles transcend cultural boundaries, cross socioeconomic boundaries, and apply equally to all ages. Consideration is understanding how other people and entities are affected by whatever is taking place. Consideration is empathy. It helps us to assess how a situation affects everyone involved, and then act accordingly. Respect is recognizing that how you interact with another person will affect your relationship with that person, and then choosing to take actions that will build relationships rather than injure them. Respect helps us decide how to choose to act toward others. Honesty is being truthful, not deceptive. There is a critical difference, too, between benevolent and brutal honesty: “I have a problem with that” verses “That is a stupid thing to say.” Honesty ensures that we act sincerely. Etiquette is a code of treating people—and making choices based on—consideration, respect and honesty. #RandolphHarris 2 of 21
When you apply the principles of consideration, respect, and honesty consistently, etiquette becomes a tool that lets you build better relationships and be more successful in every aspect of your life. Etiquette is not about doing what is correct. Etiquette is about doing what is right. To be fair, most men’s inconsiderate or disrespectful behaviour is not intentional. Men frequently get lost in their thoughts and go to far-off places in their minds without even realizing the journey has started or considering the consequences. That is when they get in trouble. Men get it right some of the time, but they do not generally spend enough effort really thinking through how their actions will affect the people around them. And that is what good etiquette really is: thinking about what the considerate, respectful things to do would be, and then doing it. By thinking about our behaviour, we turn each action into a conscious choice. The more we practice making those choices, the more often we will make good choices—and the better our lives and the lives of our loved ones will be. And that is what makes etiquette worth the effort. Consideration for the rights and feelings of others is not merely a rule for behaviour in public but the very foundation upon which social life is built. #RandolphHarris 3 of 21
The first rule of etiquette—which hundreds of others merely paraphrase or explain or elaborate—is: Never do anything that is unpleasant to others. The art of etiquette really comes down to being thoughtful of the people you encounter in your everyday life. We all tend to associate “proper behaviour” with formal social events—but true etiquette involves behaving with consideration and respect for others in everything that you do, from attending a high-society soiree to simply hanging around the house. Seven key behaviours that are considered bad habits are adjusting, nose picking, swearing, spitting, smoking and chewing tobacco, sloppy dressing, wearing a hat where they should not. The smell of smoke and the health implications of secondhand smoke are bad enough. And the casual way smokers toss their cigarette filters on the ground causes fires that ravage the forests. One cigarette filter carelessly tossed out a car window could do immense damage and cost lives. Please, if you have just got to smoke, dispose of the filter appropriately and safely. Also, dominating the communication makes one look as if one does not listen well. The underlying goal of being respectful and responsible is to treat your significant other like an equal but not like one of the guys. #RandolphHarris 4 of 21
You love your significant other, you care for her, you share your life with her. So focus on the qualities that engender those emotions in you and then let her know by talking optimistically about her. The fact is, however, etiquette is not about momentous acts. It is about smoothing the way through life for ourselves and the people around us. Burping and passing gas: It is remarkable how often these came up. While both are bodily functions that sometimes escape without warning, for the most part, it is possible to delay the inevitable until you move away or retire to a restroom. The feelings of our heart, the agitation of our passions, the vehemence of our affections, dissipate all its conclusions, and reduce the profound philosopher to a mere plebeian. Preserving conversation is a discernment and delicacy which arises from polite letters. Humans are reasonable beings; and as such, receives from their science proper food and nourishment: However, so narrow are the bounds of human understanding, that little satisfaction can be hoped for in this particular, either from the extent or security of one’s acquisitions. Humans are a sociable, no less than reasonable being: However, neither can one always enjoy company agreeable and amusing, or preserve the proper relish for them. #RandolphHarris 5 of 21
Humans are also active beings; and from that disposition, as well as from the various necessities of human life, must submit to business and occupation: However, the mind requires some relaxation, and cannot always support its bent to care and industry. It seems, then, that nature has pointed out a mixed kind of life as most suitable to human race, and secretly admonished them to allow none of these biases to draw too much, so as to incapacitate them for other occupations and entertainments. Indulge your passion for science, but let your science be human, and such as may have a direct reference to action and society. The political implications of person-centered education are clear: the student retains one’s own power and the control over oneself; one shares in the responsible choices and decisions; the facilitator provides the climate for these aims. The growing, seeking person is the politically powerful force. This process of learning represents a revolutionary about-face from the politics of traditional education. What is it that causes a teacher to reverse the politics of the classroom? The reasons are multiple. First I cite my own experience. As my point of view in therapy became more and more trusting of the capacity of the individual, I could not help but question the approach. #RandolphHarris 6 of 21
If I saw clients as trustworthy and basically capable of discovering themselves and guiding their lives in an ambience I was able to create, why could I not create the same kind of climate with graduate students and foster a self-guided process of learning? So, at the University of Chicago, I began to try. I ran into far more resistance and hostility than I did with my clients. I believe this had the result of making me more defensively rigid, putting all the responsibility on the class rather than recognizing myself as a part of the learning group. I made many mistakes, and sometimes doubted the wisdom of the whole approach. Yet with all my initial clumsiness the result were astonishing. Students worked harder, earned more, did more creative thinking than in any of my previous classes. So I preserved, and improved, I believed, in my ability as a facilitator. Although I began to talk and write about my experience, and some of my students worked in similar ways with classes they were conducting, there was always the nagging doubt that perhaps this procedure worked simply because of something in me, or some peculiar attitudes we had developed in Counseling Center at Chicago. Consequently it was enormously supportive to find that others had gone through similar struggles, were adopting the principles we had outlined, and were having parallel—indeed almost identical—experiences. #RandolphHarris 7 of 21
However, sometimes the students who have been clamoring for freedom are definitely frightened when they realize that it also means responsibility. There is also a healthy skepticism as to the reality of the change. Let one not think the teacher brutal for pouncing on one’s faults. One of the first duties of a spiritual guide is to correct the beginner, show where one has mistaken one’s way, and expose one’s fallacies of thought, and conduct. A competent guide will be quick to perceive and fearless to point out these matters however unpleasant a duty it be and however unpalatable to the pupil. It is part of the task of a spiritual director to point out tactfully but firmly the faults and deficiencies of one’s disciples, to make them more aware of what is needed in their moral self-correction. The spiritual director who is over-sever in one’s correction of the aspirant’s faults, needs correcting oneself. The paternal spiritual guide who coddles one’s bleating disciples renders than a disservice. It is a common experience with abbots of monasteries in the West and with self-actualized beings in the East that attention given to one disciple may rouse the ego’s conceit in one and the ego’s envy in others. The guide who refuses to appease the ego of those who approached one, may nevertheless be eager to help them. Yet they will resent one’s counsel and feel rebuffed! #RandolphHarris 8 of 21
They do not see that one is trying to help them in a wiser way by showing them how to help themselves. Only longer time and further experience may bring them to their sense and show them the logic of one’s advice and the prudence of one’s attitude. Sometimes placing the power of choice in the hands of the student brings a totally different sense of responsibility, and much greater effort. There may be an increase in self-insight, and a growing sense of maturity. When there is a person-centered approach in the classroom, all of these are typical outcomes. “Because I disliked school, I was surprised to find out how well I can study and learn when I am not forced to do it.” “I have never read so much in my life.” “Various ‘free’ discussions have helped me a lot to understand myself.” “It was like I was an adult—not supervised and guided all the time.” Not everyone has been so fortunate in attempting a person-centered approach. Joann Lipshires took over the teaching of three high school seminars in Human Relationships. She had great difficulty working through the problem of negative feelings—her own and those of the students. She thought one of the seminars was “a disaster.” However, her department chair-person encouraged her to continue, and gradually she could say that “I believe that my efforts finally have been successful in providing young people with something they desperately need.” #RandolphHarris 9 of 21
When she restricted her seminars to fifteen students, provided a more relaxed and comfortable environment, and made a rule that put-downs or killer comments would not be tolerated, her seminars began to follow the patterns that have become familiar. Students were almost unanimously favourable. Her report adds two other aspects that are not always so well documented. She shows how the changes in the school atmosphere, including a greater self-respect, and an improved ability to listen to others affects the politics of the family. Here is one student’s report: “By listening to my mother at home I learned to care about her as well as the things she has to say. I no longer classify her ‘mother’ or ‘parent’ (which to me is a sign of authority which I would defy under any circumstances) but as another human being who deserves just as much love and attention as I or anyone else does. We do not try to change each other’s thoughts on life anymore but we try to change each other’s thoughts on life anymore but we try to understand them first.” A parent of a sophomore who had taken Human Relations had this comment to make: “As a parent of a child who has taken the course Human Relations I would like to recommend it for other students. This course gave my children a chance to think about herself in many ways. #RandolphHarris 10 of 21
“It made her realize why she said things and how she felt about others. Her sense of values seems to have taken on a more optimistic form. The honesty in dealing with one’s feelings makes for a better person. I believe this is the type of course that could be taught in grade school.” In addition Ms. Lipshires has the report of two observers—student teachers assigned by the Education Department of a nearby college—on the discipline in her seminars. The reports have a similar tone: “Not only do they enjoy the class, but the trust the teacher places in them is returned by the students’ efforts to keep the class going and orderly.” “Discipline is a problem for most teachers. It is always viewed as the students walking al over the teacher’s authority—‘these kids have no respect!’ In Human Relations there never seems to be any serious discipline problems or even any smaller troubles, like getting everyone’s attention in class. The teacher is the key: she always expresses herself in terms of honest and real feelings and had enormous respect for the feelings of her students.” There could scarcely be a clearer statement of the way discipline by external authority is changed to self-discipline. The spiritual leader who is always soft and sentimental may help some of one’s pupils but one would help them more if, at the same time, one were also hard and firm. #RandolphHarris 11 of 21
The first attitude will attract more to a teacher, but without the second to balance it, neither one nor they will get the proper view of life. A true teacher must warn one’s followers against false expectations and irredeemable promises. One of the first tasks of a philosophy teacher is to restrain the missionary fervour of one’s younger pupils and to impress upon them the need of caution, great discernment, and even secrecy in this matter. It is not enough that one has the penetration to perceive the truth; one must also have the courage to tell it to one’s disciples, even though one knows it will shock them. The self-actualizes whose ego still harbours vanity will find it flattered by every new disciple, will be endangered afresh by every widening of one’s personal influence. One finds that the disciples come to one for their emotional comfort, they do not come for their ego’s emotional quietus. They want to remain enclosed in its little circle, not to be taken completely out of it. The kind of master needed and sought after by those who are on the religio-mystic-occult path is one who will take a keen interest in their personal life as well as spiritual welfare, one who is always willing to help them with any and every problem, one who by virtue of residence or correspondence is always and quickly available to them. The philosophic master is not like this but of a different kind. #RandolphHarris 12 of 21
One is not a missionary telling others that they must follow the Quest but an educator telling them that they may follow it if they so choose. The title “leader” implies its corollary “follower.” However, a spiritual leader of the kind here described does not want a mass of followers trailing behind one in a partisan spirit. It is enough for one to give others a few inspirations, ideas, insights, and yet leave them free to work on the material as they wish, unobligated to join any movement. It is needful for you to understand that a philosophic teacher never really wants anyone to follow one but only to follow Truth. Sokrates humorously described himself as practising the same vocation as one’s mother who was a midwife—the only difference between them being that whereas she helped women to deliver themselves of infants, he helped people to deliver themselves of the true ideas with which their minds were in labour. His business, like that of all genuine teachers, was not to impart truth as something new and foreign but to assist the student to elicit it from within oneself. Every genuine teacher tries in one’s work to lead the student’s mind in such a way that one’s thinking gradually changes without one’s becoming conscious of the fact at the time, although one will recognize it in retrospect. #RandolphHarris 13 of 21
Sokrates makes students think for themselves; stimulates them to solve their own metaphysical, personal, and emotional problems; periodically gives an inner mystical impetus to their meditation practice; and points out the pitfalls and fallacies which lie in their life-path. Because his outlook is so disinterested, because his primary purpose is to liberate and not limit them, to give and not get, such a teacher’s services can never be bought by anyone—although they may be claimed by those who are prepared to cast off the shoes of conventional prejudice at one’s door and who are willing to refrain loyally from imposing upon one their preconceived notions of what characteristics the teaching, the teacher, and the quest should possess. Thus if one will not shackle them, they are in their turn must not shackle one. Such would-be disciples are rare, but such teachers who practise what they preach are rarer still. Jesus as the Christ is the bearer of the New Being in the totality of his being, not in any special expression of it. Various Christologies have concentrated on his words, and his deeds or his suffering. These are enlightening if not cut off from he being of Christ. However, rationalism separated his words, pietism his deeds, and orthodoxy his suffering from his being; these systems forgot that the being of Christ is his work and that his work is his being, namely, the New Being which is his being. #RandolphHarris 14 of 21
When theologians overlook the being of Christ they cannot place the New Bring at the center of their thought. Concentrating on one’s acts, they unavoidably distort their meaning and relevance. They then no longer relate the Christ to the universal quest for a conquest of estrangement. This makes the Christ himself a stranger in humankind. On the contrary, we should remember that the traditional symbols of “salvation,” “redemption,” “grace,” “atonement,” “meditation” as applied to the function of the Christ, emphasize the universality of his role. The New Being in the Christ has universal significance. It is universally expected. On account of this, “Jesus as the Christ is the Saviour through the universal significance of his being as the New Being. What is his significance? Simply that the revelatory correlation in which Peter acknowledged his Messiahship remains revelatory for every human. While Peter was directly thrown into it, being face to face with the Christ in the flesh, we are in a different position. It is the same situation, but the participants in it are removed from it in time and space. The original miracle, together with its original reception, is the permanent point of reference, while the spiritual reception by following generations changes continuously. A whole ecclesiology is evidently implied in this statement. #RandolphHarris 15 of 21
The Church will be the community in which one experiences the original revelatory correlation in which Jesus was acknowledged as the Christ. The main point here is that this revelatory constellation has universal score. In this sense it is final, not that no more revelations may take place, but that all other revelations will be subordinated to it. The revelatory event in Jesus as the Christ. He is the miracle of the final revelation, and his reception is the ecstasy of the final revelation. His appearance is the decisive constellation of historical (and by participation, natural) forces. It is the ecstatic moment of human history and, therefore, its center, giving meaning to all possible and actual history…But it is only for those who received him as the final revelation, namely as the Messiah, the Christ, the Man-from-above, the Son of God, the Spirit, the Logos-who-became-flesh, the New Being. “I, Zeniff, having been taught in all the language of the Nephites, and having had a knowledge of the land of Nephi, or of the land of our fathers’ first inheritance, and having been sent as a spy among the Lamanites that I might spy out of their forces, that our army might come upon them and destroy them—but when I saw that which was good among them I was desirous that they should not be destroyed. #RandolphHarris 16 of 21
“Therefore, I contented with my brethren in the wilderness, for I would that our ruler should make a treaty with them; but he being an austere and a blood-thirsty man commanded that I should be slain; but I was rescued by the shedding of much blood; for father fought against father, and brother against brother, until greater number of our army was destroyed in the wilderness and we returned, those of us that were spared, to the land of Zarahemla, to relate that tale to their wives and their children. And yet, I being over-zealous to inherit the land of our fathers, collected as many as were desirous to go up to possess the land, and started again on our journey into the wilderness to go up to the land; but were smitten with famine and sore afflictions; for we were slow to remember the Lord our God. Nevertheless, after many days’ wandering in the wilderness we pitched our tents in the place where our brethren were slain, which was near to the land of our fathers. And it came to pass that I went again with four of my men into the city, in unto the king, that I might know of the disposition of the king, and that I might know if I might go in with my people and possess the land in peace. And I went in unto the king, and he covenanted with me that I might possess the land of Lehi-Nephi, and the land of Shilom. #RandolphHarris 17 of 21
“And he also commanded that his people should depart out of the land, and I and my people went into the land that we might possess it. And we began to build buildings, and to repair the walls of the city, yea, even the walls of the city of Lehi-Nephi, and the city of Shilom. And we began to till the ground, yea, even with all manner of seeds, with seeds of corn, and of wheat, and of barely, and with neas, and with sheum, and with seeds of all manner of fruits; and we did begin to multiply and prosper in the land. Now it was the cunning and the craftiness of king Laman, to bring my people into bondage, that he yielded up the land that we might possess it. Therefore it came to pass, that after we had dwelt in the land for the space of twelve years that king Laman began to grow uneasy, lest by any means my people should wax strong in the land, and that they could not overpower them and bring them into bondage. Now they were a lazy and an idolatrous people; therefore they were desirous to bring us into bondage, that they might glut themselves with the labours of our hands; yea, that they might feast themselves upon the flocks of our fields. Therefore it came to pass that king Laman began to stir up his people that they should contend with my people; therefore there began to be wars and contentions in the land. #RandolphHarris 18 of 21
“For, in the thirteenth year of my reign in the land of Nephi, away on the south of the land of Shilom, when my people were watering and feeding their flocks, and tilling their lands, a numerous host of Lamanites came upon them and began to slay them, and to take off their flocks, and the corn of their fields. Yea, and it came to pass that they fled, all that were not overtaken, even into the city of Nephi, and did call upon me for protection. And it came to pass that I did arm them with bows, and with arrows, and swords, and with cimeters, and with clubs, and with slings, and with all manner of weapons which we could invent, and I and my people did go forth against the Lamanites to battle. Yea, in the strength of the Lord did we go forth to battle against the Lamanites; for I and my people did cry mightily to the Lord that he would deliver us out of the hands of our enemies, for we were awakened to a remembrance of the deliverance of our fathers. And God did hear our cries and did answer our prayers; and we did go forth in his might; yea, we did go forth against the Lamanites, and in one day and a night we did play three thousand and forty-three; we did slay them even until we had driven them out of our land. #RandolphHarris 19 of 21
“And I, myself, with mine own hands, did help to bury their dead. And behold, to our great sorrow and lamentation, two hundred and seventy-none of our brethren were slain,” reports Mosiah 9.1-19. O my Lord, let not my ministry be approved only by humans, or merely win the esteem and affections of my people; but do the work of grace in their hearts, call in Thy elect, seal and edify the regenerate ones, and command eternal blessings on their souls. Save me from self-opinion and self-seeking; water the hearts of those who hear Thy word, that seed sown in weakness may be raised in power; cause me and those that hear me to behold Thee here in the light of special faith, and hereafter in the blaze of endless glory; please make my every sermon a means of grace to myself, and please help me to experience the power of Thy dying love, for Thy blood is balm, Thy presence bliss, Thy smile Heaven, Thy cross the place where truth and mercy meet. Look upon the doubts and discouragements of my ministry and keep me from self-importance; I beg pardon for my many sins, omissions, infirmities, as a man, as a minister; please command Thy blessing on my weak, unworthy labours, and on the message of salvation given; please stay with Thy people, and may Thy presence be their portion and mine. #RandolphHarris 20 of 21
When I preach to others please let not my word be merely elegant and masterly, my reasoning polished and refined, my performance powerless and tasteless, but may I exalt Thee and humble sinners. O Lord of power and grace, all hearts are in Thy hands, all events at Thy disposal, set the seal of Thy almighty will upon my ministry. The Apostles’ Creed, scholars believe, dates from After Death 250 and is the oldest creedal affirmation to attain universal acceptance. The purpose of the Creed is to make a Trinitarian confession and to affirm our solidarity with the universal Church of the ages. To do this properly the Creed must never be recited, but confessed. That is, one’s heart and mind must work together to genuinely affirm authentic belief. The “Gloria Parti” (Doxology) is mean to draw us upward in music for the purpose for which we have come—to give glory to God. It should be sung with our whole heart. O God, Who restores us unto eternal life by Christ’s Resurrection, fulfill the ineffable mystery of Thy loving-kindness; that when our Saviour shall come in His majesty, as Thou hast made us to be regenerated in Baptism, so Thou mayest make us to be clothed with a blessed immortality; through the same our Lord Jesus Christ. #RandolphHarris 21 of 21
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The Spirit of Liberty is the Spirit Which is Not too Sure that it is Right and Seeks to Understand Minds
The great want which humankind labours under at this present moment is sleep. The World should recline its vast head on the first convenient pillow and take an age-long nap. Which is a more effective learning strategy: reward or punishment? This question is still undecided. At present, evidence for each side is about equal. The following guidelines, however, can be applied in teaching situations, especially those involving young children. In general, rewarding desired behaviours is more effective than punishing undesired behaviours—you can still catch more files with honey than with vinegar. If punishment is necessary, it is most effective if used immediately after the undesired response. For instance, if a child must be punished, it is best done right after the child has acted incorrectly. If one parents says to the child, “Just wait until your father (or mother) gets home—then, you will get it,” the child learns to fear the arrival of the punisher and, in the process, often forgets the offense for which he or she is being punished. If punishment must be used, the reason for the punishment should be explained. “I am only doing this for your own good,” or “This hurts me more than it does you,” is less likely to teach a child a specific behaviour than saying, “I am not letting you go to the movies because you socked your little brother. This hurts him and makes him cry, and I do not want you to do it again.” #RandolphHarris 1 of 23
If it is possible, combine reward and punishment. If necessary, punish the undesired behaviour, but also be sure to reward the desired behaviour. For example, do not just spank a child for playing in the street; also praise and reward the child for playing in the yard instead. Punish the undesired behaviour, not the behaver. For instance, communicate to a child that you feel his or her behaviour is “bad”—not that you think the child is bad. Most punishment do not work on very young children. Under about one year of age, children do not understand that some behaviours are acceptable and some are not and why this is so. They may think they are being punished just for being there, and more often than not they begin to associate the punisher with punishment. When you feel emotionally charged, especially if you are filled with rage, never, never, never punish a child. Adults often forget their own strength. Children are fragile and easily hurt. The only thing a child learns through abuse is hatred and fear. There is a great distinction between negative reinforcement and abusive punishment. In many cases, punishment only suppresses or limits the undesired behaviour; it does not really extinguish it. The self-actualized open to all qualified and eager seekers the mysteries and treasures of one’s own inner experience, that they may profit by one’s past struggles and present success. #RandolphHarris 2 of 23
The self-actualized brings revelations to meet our gropings, inspirations to meet our doubts. One becomes, for those docile enough to receive them, a bearer of grace and a vessel of truth, a bestower of comfort and a dispenser of confidence. Prophets and the self-actualized, teachers and saints receive the urge to share their knowledge and experience with others. Whence does this urge derive? Both lower and higher, personal and nonpersonal sources are possible. However, if from the highest, then we may say that God sends His messages to humankind through these channels. The self-actualized who starts a movement or puts one’s thoughts out, acts as a lighthouse which guides many a fumblings but aspiring soul. If one does not accept disciples individually it is because one serve humans otherwise. Those who try to get such acceptance and find themselves rebuffed may consider one selfish, cold, remote. However, they will be greatly mistaken. One can serve humankind—not each person separately but in groups or masses—and one may do this by lecturing, by writing or simply by directing one’s prayer in the appropriate way. For a writer’s books spread not only one’s ideas but also something of oneself. One can put thought on a high level but the way in which one does this depends upon one’s circumstances. #RandolphHarris 3 of 23
The self-actualized can put thought on a high level personally as a private teacher, impersonally as a public lecturer or writer, or anonymously as a proficient contemplative. All these people who have attained Reality inevitably leave a record for others or for posterity, but not necessarily with their name attached. Has anyone of the self-actualized ever vanished without leaving behind a trace of Power, knowledge, goodness, and inspiration? Even if not in words or deeds, something is left in the unseen atmosphere. They are not usually members of any sect, but circumstances or necessity may sometimes render it desirable that they be such. The self-actualized may or may not descend into the arena of action but if not one will still find ways and means to inspire, guide, or ennoble the actions of other people. One does this by teaching them and travelling among the, or by sitting still and meditating alone, or by disseminating writings among them. Even when one is unheard publicly one can help by the concentrated mind’s great power. One does what one can to introduce here and there into the consciousness of others, through whatever means one possesses, the seeds of higher ideas. These seeds may not grow and certainly may not fructify for many years, but that is not one’s affair. One knows that the vitality in these seeds and depth of mental ground in which they have been sown will inevitably lead to some result. It is enough. One has sown seed. #RandolphHarris 4 of 23
One does not have to wait for roots to form, stems to grow, fruits to appear. One’s work is done. In this momentous period the true self-actualized has special work to do in trying to protect the human race from its own folly. One way is intercessory prayer which may help to mitigate the effects of the World crisis. This requires solitude. It is an impersonal contemplation and must not be disturbed by those who break into it, either to unload their personal problems or to offer personal service which in the end has the same result. Yes, some of us are genuinely aware of the soul’s existence and intimately know its freedom and blessedness. Modesty has hitherto imposed silence upon us about the fact, although compassion induced us to break it on occasions. However, we mystics must now stand on our own dignity. It is time that the World, brough to its inevitable and by us expected materialistic dead-end, should realize at last that we are not talking out of our hats but out of a real and impeccable experience. It would be an unpardonable treachery to our duty in the final and terrible World-crisis of this materialistic age if, out of false modesty or fear of intimidation by a cynical society, we who daily feel and commune with the divine presence, who realize its tremendous importance for humanity’s present condition and future life, fail to testify to its existence and reality. #RandolphHarris 5 of 23
If today we venture to speak more freely and frequently, our ideas may drop into a few hospitable minds and sublimely penetrate their consciousness. It is not the self-actualizer’s function to tackle the Worldly problems which governments usually deal with: the social, political, economic, and technical ones. One’s particular work is concerned with, first, one’s ordinary duty of professional service through whatever skill one possesses to earn one’s livelihood, and second, making truth available. The mere existence of one who succeeds in identifying oneself with God benefits every sensitive person who meets one, even for a minute or two. Further, it inspires spiritual seekers who never get the chance to meet one but who hear favourably about one and respectfully receive what they hear. Finally, posterity benefits from the records left about one. Each teacher—if one is divinely commissioned—leaves a deposit of truth after he or she dies. The Master who leaves a record of one’s own climb, or a testimony to the goal’s existence, or a path pioneered for those who would follow, or an instructed disciple here and there, leaves something of oneself. Even where help may not directly and outwardly be given when difficult circumstances press on a human, it may yet be indirectly and inwardly given to one’s mind, which has to deal with, or endure, them. #RandolphHarris 6 of 23
One can awaken some persons to this divine presence within themselves, but not all. One may do this mysteriously by some unknown process, or one may do it deliberately and with the display of one’s technique. The abstract does not appeal to the masses, because it gives them nothing. However, an embodied human can be seen, heard, and touched, to that extent can be understood, to that extent one gives them something; one can be followed, admired, feared, reverenced, or worshipped. Secure as one is in one’s own peace of mind, it is inevitable that the more sensitive among those who meet one feel it too. However, those who come with hostility, personal or intellectual, will be avoided if possible or find their time cut to the shortest if not. Such a person has a catalytic action on the minds and even on the lives of those who come into sympathetic contact with one. Just by being oneself one makes the philosophic virtues real to others. One does not need to be conscious of a clearly defined mission before one sets about doing something for the enlightenment of others. There is always some means open to one, some little thing one can do to make this knowledge available or to set an example of right living. It is one’s duty to communicate what one feels there, what one finds there, to those who are excluded from it. #RandolphHarris 7 of 23
If at times, and with sympathetic auditors, one’s duty becomes one’s joy, at other times and with insensitive auditors it becomes one’s cross. Jesus exemplified this in His own history. The illuminate practices a wiser philanthropy than those who are presented as models of this virtue. One has no wish to take charge of anyone’s life or undertake the management of anyone’s affairs. One is not allowed by the code of ethics corresponding to one’s knowledge to make other people’s decisions for them. Hence one can say neither yes nor no to such highly personal questions. However, one can point out the consequences which are likely to follow in each case. Basically, people are just like children. They need attention. Sometimes people are really nervous when meeting people or dealing with new situations. And some of the troublemakers really just want your attention. The people-as-child analogy can be extended to cover sibling rivalry: You cannot play cards with just one person because the other people will get jealous. Think of unruly people just as you would think of a child and that will widen tolerance of them. If their needs are like those of a child, those needs are supposed to come first. The worker’s right to anger is correspondingly reduced; as an adult one must work to inhibit and suppress anger at children. #RandolphHarris 8 of 23
Should the analogy to children fail to induce the necessary deep acting, surface-acting strategies for handling “irate” can be brought into play. People are urged to “work” the customers name in, as in “Yes, Mr. Camdenski,” it is true construction of your new home is talking a little longer than expected.” This reminds the individual that he is not anonymous, that there is at least some pretension to a personal relation and that some emotion management is owed. Again, workers are told to use terms of empathy. Whatever happens, you are supposed to say, I know just how you feel. Lost your light fixture? I know just how you feel? Late for a walk though? I know just how you feel. Did not get that lot you were counting on? I know just how you feel. Employees reports that such expressions of empathy are useful in convincing people that they have misplaced the blame and misaimed their anger. Remember, to treat people like they are guests in your living room, and guests are to be made comfortable and their emotional outburst are expected to be met by support. Never get super angry with a customer, they are the source of revenue. Supervisors never speak officially of an obnoxious or outrageous customer, only of an uncontrolled customer. The term suggests that a fact has somehow attached itself to this customer—not that the customer has lost control or even had any control to lose. #RandolphHarris 9 of 23
Again, the common phrase “mishandled customer” suggests a bungle somewhere up the line, by someone destined to remain lost in the web of workers that stretched from curbside to architecture. By linguistically avoiding any attribution of blame, the idea of a right to be angry at the customer is smuggled out of discourse. Linguistically speaking, the customer never does anything wrong, so he or she cannot be blamed or made the object of anger. One time, a man was waiting for a special ordered light fixture, and one of the other home buyers sagged it and had it installed in her house. The builder responded by saying politely, “I notice this man’s light fixture was installed in your house.” The dirty deed was done, but, the implication was, by no one in particular. Such implicit reframing dulls a sense of cause of effect. It separates object from verb and verb from subject. The home buyer does not feel accused, and the builder does not feel as if he or she is accusing. Emotion work has been accomplished, but it has hidden its tracks with words. Company language is aimed not only at diffusing anger, but at minimizing fear. As in the case when a refrigerator was specially ordered and delivered to the wrong address. This was labeled an incident. The term incident calms the nerves. How could we be terrified at an incident? #RandolphHarris 10 of 23
Thus, the words that workers use and do not use help them avoid emotions inappropriate to a living room full of guest. Dealing with difficult people is part of the job. It makes us angry sometimes. And anger is part of stress. So that is why I would like to talk to you about being angry. I am not saying you should do this [work on your anger] for your corporation. I am not saying you should do it for the home buyers. I am saying do it for yourselves. The only question to be seriously discussed is “How do you rid yourself of anger?” From my experience in supervisory work I know that the problem of hopelessness is often not clearly envisaged by the analyst and hence not properly dealt with. Some of my colleagues have been so overwhelmed by the individual’s hopelessness—which they recognized but did not see as a problem—that they became hopeless themselves. This attitude is of course fatal to an analysis, for no matter how good the technique or how brave the effort, the individual senses that the analyst has really given him or her up. The same holds true outside the analytical situation. Nobody can be a constructively helpful friends or mate who does not believe in the possibility of the companion’s fulfilling one’s own potentialities. Sometimes colleagues have made the opposite mistake of not taking the individual’s hopelessness seriously enough. #RandolphHarris 11 of 23
They felt the individual needed encouragement and gave it—which is commendable, but quite insufficient. When this happens, the individual, even if one appreciates the analyst’s good intentions, is quite justified in being annoyed with one, since deep down one knows that one’s hopelessness is not just a mood that can be dissipated by well-meant encouragement. In order to take the bull by the horns and tackle the problem directly, it is necessary first to recognize from indirect indications like the ones cited above that the individual feels hopeless and the extent to which one feels so. Then it must be understood that one’s hopelessness is fully warranted by one’s entanglements. The analyst must realize and explicitly convey to the individual that one’s situation is hopeless only so long as the status quo persists and is regarded as unchangeable. In simplified form, the whole problem is illustrated by a scene from Chekhov’s Cherry Orchard. The family, faced with bankruptcy, are in despair at the thought of leaving their estate with its beloved cherry orchard. A man of affairs offers the sound suggestion that they build modest homes for rent on a part of the estate. With their hidebound views, they cannot countenance such a project, and since there is no other solution they remain without hope. They ask helplessly, as if they had not heard the suggestion, whether nobody can advise or help them. #RandolphHarris 12 of 23
If their mentor were a good analyst he would say: “Of course the situation is difficult. However, what makes it hopes is your own attitude toward it. If you would consider changing your claims on life there would be no need to feel hopeless.” The belief that the individual can really change, which means essentially that one can really resolve one’s conflicts, is the factor that determines whether or not the therapist dare to tackle the problem and whether one can do it with a reasonable chance of success. It is here that my differences with Dr. Freud come into clear relief. Dr. Freud’s psychology and the philosophy underlying it are essentially pessimistic. This is patent in his outlook on the future of humankind as well as in his attitude toward therapy. And on the basis of his theoretical premises, he cannot be anything but pessimistic. Humans are driven by instincts which at best are only to be modified by “sublimation.” His instinctual drives for satisfaction are inevitably frustrated by society. His “ego” is helplessly tossed about between instinctual drives and the “superego,” which itself can only be modified. The superego is primarily forbidding and destructive. True ideals do not exist. The wish for personal fulfillment is narcissistic. Humans are by nature destructive and a death instinct compels them either to destroy others or to suffer. #RandolphHarris 13 of 23
All these theories leave little room for an optimistic attitude toward change and limit the value of the potentially splendid therapy Dr. Freud originated. In contrast, I believe that compulsive trends in neuroses are not instinctual but spring from disturbed human relationships; that they can be changed when these improve and that conflicts of such origin can really be resolved. This does not mean that therapy based on the principles I advocate has no limitations. Much work remains to be done before we can clearly determine these limitations. However, it does mean that we have well-founded reasons for believing in the possibility of radical change. Why, then, is it so important to recognize and tackle an individual’s hopelessness? In the first place, this approach is of value in dealing with special problems like depression and suicidal tendencies. We can, it is true, lift an individual depression by merely uncovering the particular conflicts in which the person is caught at the time, without touching upon one’s general hopelessness. However, if we want to prevent recurring depressions it has to be tackled because it is the deeper source from which the depressions emanate. Nor can insidious chronic depression be coped with unless one goes to this original source. #RandolphHarris 14 of 23
The same hold true for suicidal conditions. We know that such factors as acute despair, defiance, and vindictiveness lead to suicidal impulses; but it is often too late to prevent suicide after the impulse has become manifest. By paying minute attention to the less dramatic signs of hopelessness and by taking up the problem with the patient at the proper time, it is probable that many suicides could be averted. It is not that collective talk determines the mood of the workers. Rather, the reverse is true: the needed mood determines the nature of the worker’s talk. To keep the collective mood stripped of any painful feelings, serious talk of death, divorce, politics, religion, and news is usually avoided. People want to forget about COVID-19 and feel safe in the modest castles, which they imagine to be in a storybook fairytale. On the other hand, when there is time for it, mutual morale raising is common. As one said: “When one sales agent is depressed, thinking, ‘I am ugly, what am I doing as a sales representative?’ other sales representatives, even without quite knowing what they are doing, try to cheer her up. They straighten her collar for her, to get her up and smiling again. I have done it too, and needed it done.” Once established, team solidarity can have two effect. It can improve morale and thus improve service. #RandolphHarris 15 of 23
However, team solidarity can also become the basis for sharing grudges against the homebuyers or the corporation. Perhaps it is the second possibility that manager meant to avoid wen in Recurrent Training they offered examples of “bad” social emotion management. One teacher cautioned her students: “When you are angry with a homebuyer, do not head for the galley to blow off steam with another sales representative.” In the galley, the second sales representative, instead of calming the angry worker down, may further rile him or her up; one may become an accomplice to the aggrieved worker. Then, as the instructor put it, “There will be two of you hot to trot.” The message is, when you angry, go to a trusted therapist who will calm you down. Consider calling him or her for a phone appoint so not to drive while angry. Even if you are not suicidal, but cannot afford a therapist, a suicide hotline may be worth trying out. Support for anger or a sense of grievance—regardless of what inspires it—is bad for service and bad for the corporation. Thus, the informal ways in which workers check on the legitimacy of a grievance or look for support in blowing off steam become points of entry for company suggestions. Corporations sometimes have Ghost-Buyers who occasionally Ghost-Buy a house, and there may be senior representative on the crew, the base supervisor, and the plainclothes company supervisors who occasionally monitor employee behaviour. #RandolphHarris 16 of 23
One homebuyer was asked to fill out a company-elicited passenger opinion poll and fill out a questionnaire, and the results were presented by letter to the workers. As one male sales representative, seven years with the corporation describes it: We get told how we are doing twice a year when we are sent homebuyer evaluations. They show how the builder is competing. Oh, the homebuyers are asked to rank sales representatives: “genuinely concerned, made me feel welcome. Spoke to me more than required. Wide awake, energetic, eager to help. Seemed sincere when talking to the potential homebuyers and confirmed homebuyers. Helped established a relaxed community atmosphere. Enjoying their jobs. Treated homebuyers as individuals.” We see how this builder is doing in the competition. We are supposed to really get into it. Supervision is thus more indirect than direct. It relies on the sales representative’s sense of what homebuyers will communicate to management, who will, in turn, communicate to workers. Supervisors do more than oversee workers. Even when people are paid to be nice at all times, and when their efforts succeed, it is a remarkable accomplishment. This is possible because of emotion work, feeling rules, and social exchange. #RandolphHarris 17 of 23
A profit motive is slipped in under acts of emotion management, under the rules that govern them, under the gift exchange. Who benefits now, and who pays? The lesson in deep acting—acting “as if the office is your home” and “as if this unruly homebuyer has a traumatic past”—are themselves a new development in deskilling. The mind of the emotion worker, the source of the ideas about what mental moves are needed to settle down an irate, has moved upstairs in the hierarchy so that the worker is restricted to implementing standard procedures. Of more general significance is the fact that the individual’s hopelessness constitutes a hindrance to the cure of any severe neurosis. We have to deal with a counterplay of meticulous and forward-moving forces, with resistance and incentive. Resistance is a collective term for all the forces within the individual that operate to maintain the status quo. One’s incentive, on the other hand, is produced by the constructive energy that urges one on toward inner freedom. This is the motive power with which we work and without which we could do nothing. It is the force that helps that individual overcome resistance. It makes one’s associations productive, there by giving the analyst a chance for better understanding. It gives one the inner strength to endure the inevitable pain of maturing. #RandolphHarris 18 of 23
It makes one willing to take the risk of abandoning attitudes that have given one a feeling of safety and to make the leap into the unknown of new attitudes toward oneself and others. The analyst cannot drag the individual through this process; the individual oneself must want to go. It is this invaluable force that is paralyzed by a condition of hopelessness. And in failing to recognize and tackle it the analyst deprives oneself of one’s best ally in the battle against the individual’s neurosis. The individual’s hopelessness is not a problem that can be solved by any single interpretation. There is already a substantial gain if, instead of being engulfed by a feeling of doom that one regards as unalterable, the individual begins to recognize it as a problem that may eventually be solved. This step liberates one sufficiently to go ahead. There will, of course, be ups and downs. One may feel optimistic, even overoptimistic, if one acquires some helpful insight, only to succumb to one’s hopelessness again as soon as one approaches a more upsetting one. Each time the matter must be tackled anew. However, the hold it has on the individual will relax as one realizes that one can really change. One’s incentive will grow accordingly. It may be limited, at the beginning of the analysis, to a mere wish to get rid of one’s most disturbing symptoms. #RandolphHarris 19 of 23
However, the incentive gains strength as the individual becomes increasingly aware of one’s shackles, and as one gets a taste of how it feels to be free. When we shall apprehend the meaning of life, we may discover that it provides its pre-self-actualized in such prodigies. The highest service one can render is in silent contemplation, which inspires so many aspiring souls to a higher life. This is the truth. If one is sensitive, reflective, and penetrative, the mere fact that these prophets, these light-bringers and way-showers have exited at all is enough to change a human’s life. Even if one does no more than open the human mind to its higher possibilities, one does enough. Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost—humans must pray and gain knowledge for themselves from the Holy Ghost. About 559-545 Before Christ. “And now, behold, my beloved brethren, I suppose that ye ponder somewhat in your hearts concerning that which ye should do after ye have entered in by the way. However, behold, why do ye ponder these things in your hearts? Do ye not remember that I said unto you that after ye had received the Holy Ghost ye could speak with the tongue of Angels? And now, how could ye speak with the tongue of Angels save it were by the Holy Ghost? Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the word of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do. #RandolphHarris 20 of 23
“Wherefore, now after I have spoken these words, if ye cannot understand them it will be because ye ask not, neither do ye knock; wherefore, ye are not brought into the light, but must perish in the dark. For behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do. Behold, this is the doctrine of Christ, and there will be no more doctrine given until after he shall manifest himself unto you in the flesh. And when he shall manifest himself unto you in the flesh, the things which he shall say unto you shall ye observe to do. And now I, Nephi, cannot say more; the Spirit stoppeth mine utterance, and I am left to mourn because of the unbelief, and the wickedness, and the ignorance, and the stiffneckedness of humans; for they will not search knowledge, when it is given unto them in plainness, even as plain as word can be. And now, my beloved brethren, I perceive that ye ponder still in your hearts; and it grieveth me that I must speak concerning this thing. For if ye would hearken unto the Spirit which teacheth a human to pray, ye would know that ye must pray; for the evil spirit teacheth not a human to pray, but teacheth one that one must not pray. #RandolphHarris 21 of 23
“However, behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform anything unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul,” reports 2 Nephi 32.1-9. Please send forth, O Lord, we beseech Thee, the Holy Spirit, to make these present offerings Thy Sacrament unto us, and purify our hearts for its reception. Privileges—O Lord God, please teach e to know that grace precedes, accompanies, and follows my salvation, that it sustains the redeemed soul, that not one link of its chain can ever break. From Calvary’s cross wave upon wave of grace reaches me, deals with my sin, washes me clean, renews my heart, strengthens my will, draws out my affection, kindles a flame in my soul, rules throughout my inner human, consecrates my every thought, word, work, teaches me Thy immeasurable love. How great are my privileges in Christ Jesus! Without him I stand far off, a stranger, an outcast; in him I draw near and touch his kingly sceptre. Without him I dare not lift up my guilt eyes; in him I gaze upon my Father-God and friend. #RandolphHarris 22 of 23
Without him I hide my lips in trembling shame; in him I open my mouth in petition and praise. Without him all is wrath and consuming fire; in him is all love, and the repose of my soul. Without him is gaping hell below me, and eternal anguish; in him its gates are barred to me by his precious blood. Without him darkness spreads its horrors in front; in him an eternity of glory is my boundless horizon. Without him all within me is terror and dismay, in him every accusation is charmed into joy and peace. Without him all things external call for my condemnation; in him they minister to my comfort, and are to be enjoyed with thanksgiving. Praise be to thee for grace, and for the unspeakable gift of Jesus. Although by the revelation of grace in this life we cannot know of God “what He is,” and thus are united to Him as to one unknown; still we know Him more fully according as many and more excellent of His effects are demonstrated to us, and according as we attribute to Him some things known by divine revelation, to which natural reason cannot reach, as, for instance, that God is Thee and One. For the images either received from sense in the natural order, or divinely formed in the imagination, we have so much more excellent intellectual knowledge, the stronger the intelligible light is in humans; and thus through revelation given by the images a fuller knowledge is received by the infusion of the divine light. #RandolphHarris 23 of 23
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