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A Performance Expectation–Live a Great Story!
Fifteen minutes a day, for one year adds up to over ninety-one hours. Lord, it is good for us to be here. It is good for all of us to have been here. We pray that the same sweet spirit which has prevailed will continue with us, and that our record of prowess and skill are forever safe, as the group is task-oriented, patient, caring, thoughtful, and good at listening. In the interior of our consciousness, each of us has a private hall of fame reserved exclusively for the real leaders who have influenced the direction of our lives. This means that the members envision future events or states of the World that their present activities may help bring about or prevent, and they define some possible future events or states of the World as success and others as failure. We need not assume they know exactly what constitutes success, merely that they assume that when the time arrives they will know whether they have succeeded or not and that their present activities are related to the future outcome. The leader whom we admit into this private sanctuary of our reflective experience is usually those who set our hearts afire with devotion to the truth, who makes obedience to duty seem the essence of humanity, who transforms some ordinary routine occurrence so that it becomes extra ordinary and we see the person we aspire to be. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
The group task is at least partially intrasystemic. This means that the standards for evaluating success or failure are developed within the group rather than being imposed from the outside. An ambiguous task (for example, writing a story to accompany a picture) is one case of an intrasystemic task, but even tasks for which there are clear objective standards may be intrasystemic, if the group is able to redefine the meaning of a particular outcome or the importance of the task (“he has a bad day,” “we really care about that after all”). The crucial point is that the rules for evaluating a task outcome are developed by the same persons who are part of the power and prestige structure. Adam, the first man to live upon the Earth is worthy of being in our personal Hall of Fame. Adam was obedient unto the commandments of the Lord. Adam qualifies. We want to be right for God. It is important to be virtuous and there are terrifying consequences for the alternative. It helps if we have a big imagination and can see further than the present moment, which means we have to have a clear sense of the consequences of our actions, even when we think no one is watching. The Church always preaches about God is coming, and what if you are in sin at the exact moment he arrives? That is a horrifying thought. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
The group members are collectively oriented. This has two components: one, that the group members are interdependent, that is, they need to take into account other member’s acts; and two, that it is legitimate to seek and give advice, to be influenced by or attempt to influence others. The term collective orientation as used here does not precisely mean cooperative orientation (all goals shared so that something that rewards one group member rewards all). People could have a collective orientation in some cases of competition; in fact, there are competitive elements in face-to-face groups, especially the competition for time and attention imposed by the necessity to limit talking to one person at a time. Because of time constraints and the unknown time when God will return to Earth, many people do not want the moment of sin and the moment of reckoning to be the same. What if the Rapture comes and you are left behind? The Lord has commanded us to live by his convents, and he shall prepare a way for us that we may accomplish them. Negative reactions often lead to disagreements, but not always, for groups sometimes try to avoid having to resolve conflict and simply ignore or redefine the issue. Influence is defined as the direction of the resolution of a disagreement; the person whose idea is accepted is said to have influenced the one who accepts it. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
People with the greatest desire to succeed will stand a greater chance of reaching his or her goal. The term influence is not synonymous with control; a person whose performance output is accepted without challenge has obviously exercised control over the group, but since there was no disagreement, influence has not occurred. In determined people, we can see the difference between knowing and doing. Those who really desire to reach their goals will do whatever they must do in order to achieve them. Let us not just talk about what we want to be. Let us not just dream about what we want to be. Take action to reach your goals, you may have to work harder than you ever have worked before in your entire life. God wants us to tell him, with all honesty, that we have worked harder than anyone else we know. That we have tried as hard as we can to live right, do good, and succeed. This desire should be enough to help us to improve a little or greatly. God sees everything, so we cannot lie to him. He knows what we are doing at all times. In whatever we want to improve upon, whether if it is a project at work, school work, or studying the scriptures, just give it a little extra time—every day. Even if it is just an extra fifteen minutes. Remember how well-spent time can add up. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
A performance expectation is a prediction about the quality of a performance output of a group member. Do not quit. We are all going to have hardships and setbacks. However, our Heavenly Father will not give us a hardship that we cannot overcome. An individual may hold a performance output of a group member. An individual may hold a performance expectation for his or her own behavior (a self-expectation) and/or the behavior of another (other-expectation). The value of an expectation is defined as high (prediction that the performance output will move the group toward success on its goal) or low (prediction that the act will move the group toward failure on its goal). As children of our Father in Heaven, we can have setbacks of sin. However, we must never quit or give up faith. Heavenly Father has provided a way to overcome spiritual setbacks through the great gift of repentance. God truly loves us and wants to forgive us. All we have to do is to go through the process of repentance, and we will triumph over our transgressions. It is important for us to set our goals very high, for if we do this, our intermediate goals will be easier to reach. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
Let us not settle for mediocrity. We should always try our best. The concept of expectations is basic in sociology, and its use as a fundamental building block of theory marks expectation states as distinctively sociological. Let us decide now what type of person we want to be, and when a difficult situation comes along we will be prepared to pass the test. Performance expectations are predictions of quality only, rather than including predictions about for or content of behavior. We must keep a proper perspective on our goals. Let us never lose sight of God and his words of wisdom in pursuing our temporal ambitions. We have signs enough that there is a God. There are testimonies from men and women of the church, and also all the holy prophets. There are the scriptures laid before us, and all things denote there is a God, right? Even the Earth, and all the things that upon the face of it, right? And the motions, yeah, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator. People know in their hearts that there is a God and they will testify that God exists. Dear God in Heaven, please bring your Kingdom to Earth and help heal our unobservable mental and physical states, and bless our dreams and goals so that they may come true. Thank you. The National Anthem is a song sung to God, and it is thought that his presence is near when it is sang. Therefore, to sit or kneel in the presence of God, without being told by a figure of authority, shows extreme disrespect for the Lord. After all, this is God’s House. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
It is a Wonderful Life
It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and reality of tomorrow. In many ways, culture has enabled us to transcend many of the limitations imposed on us by our biology. However, that biology was shaped during millions of years of evolution in environments very different from those in which most of us live today. Whether we will become a different species or become extinct as a species (remember, that is the fate of almost every species that has ever lived on Earth) is not something that we can predict. However, as long as new pathogens appear or new environments are introduced by technology, there is little doubt that the human species will continue to evolve, just as almost every other species on Earth has done. Culture has enabled us to transcend many limits imposed by our biology, and people who never would have been able to do so in the past are today surviving and having children. This in itself means that we are evolving. How many of you would be reading this if you had been born under the health and economic conditions prevalent 500 years ago? #RandolphHarris 1 of 5
Imagine if is we lived in a future society driven by eugenics where potential children are conceived through genetic manipulation to ensure the best hereditary traits of their parents. And people conceived outside of the eugenics program struggles to overcome genetic discrimination. Everyone is monitored through a genetic registry database, which uses biometrics to classify people who were genetically engineered as valids, and those who were conceived by traditional means and more susceptible to genetic disorders as in-valids. Although genetic discrimination is illegal, it is practiced in genotype profiling used to identify and segregated valids, and intermingling with in-valids is basically illegal and because of that they are limited to the types of jobs they can perform. This is the plot from Gattaca, an American Science fiction film that came out in 1997. It was written and directed by Andrew Niccol and it stars Ethan Hawke, Uma Thurman, and Jude Law. The film was very interesting because it deals with some themes we could face in the future with skyrocketing health costs, population growth, and economics. #RandolphHarris 2 of 5
Perhaps, people will choose to have genetically engineered babies to guarantee their health and success? Are we building lives of honesty and integrity? Are we following the counsel of our prophets, past and present? Are we covenant keepers? Do we hold our family home evenings and study the scriptures, trying to live the precepts we gain from them? Do we obey the Word of Wisdom? Are we good neighbors and loyal friends? Can we honestly say that we not only repent of our mistake, but learn from them? If we are not comfortable with the answers to these kinds of questions, we need to begin right now to build a more exemplary life so that those dearest to us will see of our good works, and glorify our Father which is in Heaven. We must confess that whenever our lives have failed to measure up to the standards of our forebears, it is because we have allowed Worldly priorities to take precedence over our spiritual ones. However, it is possible to redirect our goals and to put our sights on eternal values. Groups develop shared beliefs about who occupies what place in the structure, and the maintenance of the structure of inequality can become one of the groups goals. #RandolphHarris 3 of 5
Other things being equal, an individual’s position in a power and prestige structure is a function of his or her performance in relation to valued behavior standards of the group; the more likely other group members think it is that the individual’s position in the power and prestige structure. In this sense, we should say that the religious value with reference to the outer World manifests itself through the belief in the creation, with reference to the fellow-World through the belief in the revelation, and with reference to the inner World through the belief in the salvation. In this sense—the immediate values of life are to be coordinated with the true, the beautiful, and the good. The World is penetrated by the belief in God. The intensity and vividness and depth of the religious consciousness must decide how far religion succeeds in reaching the pure value of a perfect harmony of our values. The certainty of truth, or the perfection of beauty, or the dignity of morality must be each in itself complete—no value has to wait for sanction by a belief in God. The power of truth cannot arise from the fact that it harmonizes with beauty or morality. However, the harmony of the World attains its ultimate completion. #RandolphHarris 4 of 5
Friendliness, warmth, pleasantness, likability, intelligence, activity, and maturity are attributes more relevant to describe rational human beings. Our lives are touched for good, and we are both edified and ennobled as we savor the sweet blessings of association with dear members of the family. We must have a great spirit of cooperation. Lord, God, we come to you for protection; rescue us and save us from all who pursue us. Truth and love are your nature, and when something happens that betrays truth and love, you resist. We stand with you for truth and justice, in love. We are confident you will support us. We pray that you will right all the wrongs that take place in the World and vindicate those that are being treated unjustly. Keep us Father, from trying to take matters into our own hands, for vengeance is yours and you will replay—but Lord in your grace and mercy, we pray that you would give justice and peace to all those that have been cruelly and unfairly treated by their fellow people and may the injustice and carelessness that they have had to endure be the means to draw them into your saving arms of grace—we ask this in the name of you, God. #RandolphHarris 5 of 5
Your Own Resolution to Succeed is Most Important
We want our words to echo for eternity, and be looked up to as people who always strive to be honest as often as possible with people. It is important for us to examine our lives, determine where we are and what we need to do to be the kind of person we want to be. We come to know ourselves and qualities assigned to the internal environment because of our responses. Self-perception is perfectly compatible with usually socially defined. This arises from the continual pressures to attain perceptual economy, maintain stable orientations to the invariant features of variegated experiences, and ensure predictability of events. If we have to attend to the peculiarities of all stimuli manifestations that we encounter, that task alone would overload our capacities and leave us no time to process the inputs and coordinate responses to them. Furthermore, we would be stuck with a meaningless flux of unique and nonrecurrent events that would make anticipation impossible. Lately, I have reflected on many of the wonderful experiences I have had in my life. As I have expressed gratitude to my Heavenly Father for these marvelous blessings and opportunities, I have realized perhaps more than ever before, how critical the formative years of my life were. Many of the most important and life-changing moments of my life occurred when I was a young man. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
The lessons I learned over the past few years have formed my character and shaped my destiny. Without them, I would be a very different man and in a very different place than I am today. I know many great men and women. Although they have different backgrounds, talents, and perspectives, they all work diligently and persistently towards achieving their goals. It is easy to get distracted and lose focus on the aspects that are most important in life. It is important to prioritize values that are important to us so that we can keep our eyes focused on the aspects of life that really matter. Create inspiring, noble, and righteous goals that inspire your imagination and create passion in your heart and excitement in your soul. And then keep you mind constantly focused on your goals, working towards them consistently so that you can achieve your dreams. The imposition of constancy demands a rather sophisticated implementation of an interpretive system of relation judgments regarding distance, location, movement and so on. It is this categorization of stimuli into the objects with dispositional qualities and knowledge of the lawful relationships among the properties that enables us to progress to prediction. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
The Light of God helps us to discern right from wrong. When we allow temptations to drown out the still voice of our conscience—that is when decisions become difficult. Awareness of what things are is apprehension of how they fit into an orderly sequencing of events: the characteristics of objects are defined by the causal system connecting them. The advantage for prediction of events is obvious: active adjustment and manipulative intervention are facilitated. If we advance confidently in the directions of our dreams, and endeavors to live the life which we have imagined, we will meet with success. When it comes to temptation, say “No!” instantly and emphatically. Avoid temptations. Persons who occupy special status as sources of origins of activity attend to its apparent goal-direction. Activity sources in the inanimate World, such as volcanoes, may explode erratically, but the consequences of the eruption (for example, the lava flow) are grossly predictable and therefore avoidable. However, if a person explodes with anger over something we have done, avoidance of the ensuing harmful consequences is not such a simple predictive matter. An angry person many succeed in harming us in a number of alternative ways, any of which can be adjusted to take account of the avoidance activity we might take. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
Personal causality possesses equifinality. Equifinality means that there are many paths to the same end—there are multiple ways to reach a final goal. The means are varied, but the eventual goal is invariant. The dispositional imputations that permit us to predict this goal is invariant. The dispositional imputations that permit us to predict this goal and take adjustive action to adapt to contingently variable means depend upon our identification of the purpose and intents of the actor. Thus, the dispositional qualities that lend stability, coherence, and predictability to the interpersonal environment involve judgments of aims, wishes, desires, emotions, motives, and other qualities not imputed to the impersonal environment. We glean how the individual attributes dispositional characteristics to others. Symbolic interactions view the person as perceiver of one’s World. Role-taking provides a much clearer understanding of the impact of others’ presence (real, imagined, or anticipated) on an individual. Role-taking refers to a central process by which actors take into account the others’ responses to them. The actor needs to take into account, not only the dispositional qualities of the other, but the dispositions the other attributes to the actor. For this reason, an actor’s perception of the other takes on a reactive quality. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
We all possess spiritual gifts. Some are blessed with the gift of faith, others the gift of healing. The importance of others’ dispositional attributions becomes obvious if we think about the total reinforcement we in experience in our everyday lives. Much of it flows directly from other persons (acceptance, affection, approval, and so forth) and most of the remainder is mediated by them. During the developmental years this dependency is even more intense. It is during that period that, through the process of role-taking, the self emerges, and the person learns to control and evaluate his or her behaviors. In the same way, the person learns the processes that are effective in self-monitoring and self-evaluation. The importance of others’ dispositional attributions becomes obvious if we think about the total reinforcement we experience in our everyday lives. Much of it flows directly from other persons (acceptance, affection, approval, and so forth) and most of the remainder is mediated by them. It is during that period that, through the process of role-taking, the self emerges, and the person learns to control and evaluate his or her behaviors. In the same way, the person learns the processes that are effective in self-monitoring and self-evaluation. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
How do we know if we are wise or foolish? When we hear inspired counsel, we obey. That is the test of the wise or foolish. From our perspective the paramount thing learned through the process of role-taking is how the self will be responded to by others. As we have seen, others’ reactions are a function of the dispositional inferences they make about persons and their actions. Thus, it is evident that in order to anticipate, much less control and manipulate, these responses, the individual must come to view his or her own activity from others’ (dispositional) perspectives. Since the ultimate referents of these perspectives are internal qualities, it follows that individuals learn about their internal environment by the same reflexive process. In short, they learn to see themselves in the same dispositional terms and to view their activities and actions as expressing these attributes. The adoption of this perspective transforms mere behavior into conduct. Therefore, they separated themselves one from another, and went forth among them, every person alone, according to the word and power of God, which was given unto one. We give thanks to our Creator, God, for this wonderful life where each of us has the opportunity to learn lessons we could not fully comprehend by any other means. Lord, please let us meet our dreams, bring us success, justice and peace. Let us see your greatness in amazing ways. You are an amazing God. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
Listen to Many Speak to a Few
Love is one of the most powerful human impulses. We learn to love because God wants us to, as love is a power capable of uniting people. Love is an emotional experience of a variety of attempts to measure and distinguish between various kinds of beneficial sentiments. It is an appreciation of the socially desirable characteristics of another. Love is a sense of attachment to a person, the desire to draw close and be with the other; caring, concern for the welfare of the other; and intimacy, the desire for close and confidential communication with the other. When love turns to commitment, the sky becomes bluer, the days become sweeter, and most of all our respect for ourselves improves. God gives us the opportunity to show us what we love. Commitment can be viewed both as a process and as a state of mind. It involves the intention and an awareness of a moral obligation to remain in a relationship and to continue the same patterns of exchange that have come to characterize dependencies between the members of a pair. This involves both coming to terms with or becoming satisfied with the pattern of outcomes associated with the relationship and progressively closing off considerations of patterns of rewards that might be anticipated from alternative relationships. #RandolphHarris 1 of 5
Like self-disclosure, commitment not only increases outcomes and resulting attraction, but are also inherent in the development of power within a relationship. This helps explain why persons tend, at least in the early phase of a relationship, not to reveal a level of commitment in excess of their partner’s. To do so might not only depreciate in the eyes of the outcomes one is receiving, but, because commitment involves the giving up of potential alternatives, thus reducing a person’s power, until trust is established person are wary lest such a voluntary reduction in person invite exploitation. The more committed may be exploited, as explained by the principle of least interest. Persons with the least interest in maintaining a relationship; that is, the least committed, generally exercises the greater power. However, as you approach the area of the intimate relationship, you know who you are and what you are looking for. All you need is the willingness to look at yourself in your moments of vulnerability. By doing that you have learned that you are in good company, and that is terrifically liberating. Partners sometimes can reinforce or inflame each other’s patterns of behavior, but your differences in your visions of intimacy can help to sustain the commitment. #RandolphHarris 2 of 5
These include outcomes underlying task bonds that are a product of the symbiotic relation between persons represented in the division of labor that grows up between partners carrying on joint activities; those outcomes related to person bonds experienced vicariously as a result of the merging of selves, as well as the support for the self-concept that each provides the other; outcomes related to crescive bonds. Crescive bonds address later-life relationships and develop over times. They exist when an individual feels bonded or connected to another, when no other individual can be substituted, and when the relationship is expected to be ongoing. These bonds are contingent on interaction that enhances self-esteem, and are investments that each has in a shared future, as well as in the maintenance of a jointly construction social reality of the past; the unique interdependence coupled with reciprocal incapacity that has resulted from the partner’s interlocking roles; the sense of responsibility for each other, as well as for others affected by their relationship, for example, children in a marriage; and finally, the sharing in a depth of communication and a high degree of relaxation in interaction which the security of their relation allows. #RandolphHarris 3 of 5
Love plays a unique part in human life. Emotional security is one aspect that women and men want in relationships. People feel safe with partners who are emotionally available, honest, trustworthy, and authentic. It is important to also love yourself. Love for self should be so strong that one does not need to gain the acceptance of a third party by trying create a false role-identity. The situational demands and opportunities that influence role negotiations include much occurrence as those that encourage or provide an opportunity for a particular kind of role performance. These may be brief and episodic in character, as when the temporary aliment of one partner requires a more solicitous version of the friendship or marital role. It is important to make sure that our actions support our words without any need for excuses. The goal of every meaningful relationship should be to build mutual trustworthiness, not lay the basis for a double standard. When you are honest with your partner it shows that you respect them and being tactful shows that you also love them. However, being brutally honest lacks consideration for the other person’s feelings and can be downright cruel. Your mate needs to feel they can trust you without crushing their feelings. #RandolphHarris 4 of 5
Being reliable is also an important aspect of commitment and trustworthiness. We all have certain responsibilities in our relationship and if we cannot follow through, it is important to explain why not. It is also important to express confidence in your mate. When we are entrusted with someone else’s feelings and they express confidence in us as a person, it makes us want to do the right thing. It means that they feel that we are trustworthy and that they can rely on us. God, hear our prayer, may we find hope in the lights we have kindled on this sacred night, hope in one another and in all who form the work of peace and justice than spans that World. In the heart of every person in this Earth burns the spark of luminous goodness in all hearts there is light. God, open our eyes that we may see the needs of others. Let us not be afraid to defend the weak because of the anger of the strong, nor afraid to defend the poor because the anger of the rich. Show us where love and hope and faith are needed, and use us to bring them to those places. And open our eyes and ears that we may this coming day be able to do some work of peace for thee. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 5 of 5
Peter My Mink is Dragging on the Floor
A stunning first impression is not the same thing as love at first sight, but surely it is an invitation to consider the matter. We are drawn to people, inspired by them, and even strengthened by their examples. If first impressions are sufficiently favorable, persons will be motivated, when they begin to interact, to provide behaviors that will result in favorable outcomes to the other, and to the degree each is successful in this respect, they become progressively motivated to provide rewards that will maintain the relationship. Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. One of the most important rewards that persons exchange as a relationship develops is support for each other’s view of themselves as persons, their self-concepts. How do you and I become so converted to the truth, so full of faith, so dependent on God that we are able to meet trials and even be strengthened by them? A fundamental purpose of Earth is personal growth and attainment. We will have challenges, even difficulties, where decisions of great importance must be made so that we can grow, develop, and succeed in this mortal test. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7
Gratefully, God’s love is perfect. God has moved so deeply in the hearts of so many. Some people regard unconditional love is something that is real, and the most real things there is. The most consistent finding in the empirical literature on attraction is that persons are attracted to others whom they perceive as accepting them as they see themselves and who allow them to behave in a self-validating manner. Thus, in the early phases of interaction, each person begins tentatively to reveal one’s self to the other. The process of self-disclosure involves first, information about the self that each feels relatively confident about and relatively certain that the other will find acceptable. We may disclose information about our intellectual aptitude, or athletic abilities to see how we relate to others. This type of comparison helps us decide whether we are superior or inferior to others. Disclosures about abilities or talents can also make us more relatable to others. For instance, 80 percent of people find faithfulness as a top attribute they find attractive about a person. A sense of humor is important and it makes people seem more intelligent. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7
For long relationships, individuals tend to prefer others who are altruistic, kind, and do good deeds. Being involved in a charity is seen as a really attractive trait. Other studies have shown the people with dogs are generally more attractive also because they have a capacity to love and care for another being over a long term. We want to make ourselves open to others, through self-disclosure, but we also want to maintain a sense of privacy. If someone knows too much about you upfront, it might impede them from going further in the relationship because they see it as too much of a risk or hassle. Later in the process of self-disclosure, persons revel more intimate details about which they are less confident, hence in greater need of social validation, and which they are less certain will be regarded favorably. Revelations at this level play an important part in the process of self-creation. As a relationship develops, each person feels sufficiently secure to try out or tentatively display new elements of identity. Such displays may take the form of revealing hitherto private hopes and fears about the self, or more indirectly, of recounting to the other past or current episodes of behavior where the person behaved in a fashion viewed as confirming some nascent element of self. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7
Studies of the self-disclosure process generally find that, in the early part of a relationship at least, each person tends to pace the process of disclosure by revealing to the other information about the same level of intimacy. As in any other exchange, persons feel obligated to adhere to the norm of reciprocity. To the extent that one person’s revelations at progressively more intimate levels are increasingly rewarding in terms of signifying regard and trust to the other partner, the latter feels obligated to return revelations thought to be of equal rewarding value. However, disclosures that are too intimate often highlight character, personality, or other kinds of sensitivity information, thus decreasing congeniality. People who make intimate disclosures too early in relationships are often perceived as insecure, which further decreases someone’s interest in them. One time I was walking by a fancy Italian restaurant, and two guys in their forties were on what seemed to me as their first date, and one of them was telling the other guy about how painful his recovery from cancer was. The guy he was with replied, “Oh, gees,” and picked up a bread stick and ate it. He seemed rather pensive and I got the impression that it would probably be their last date. The process of self-disclosure contributes to another basic interpersonal process, the growth of trust, which in turn further facilitates more intimate disclosure. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7
While there is not complete agreement on a definition of trust, a key element appears to be a sense of certainty that the trusted person will not behave at some point in the future in a way that endangers anticipated favorable outcomes of the trusting person. When first dating, you want to make an individual feel good and talk about things that make them happy. It is like you are selling yourself in a sense. People have options and they do not want to get attached to someone who might drain them of their emotional or financial resources. Each person’s revelations of progressively more intimate details concerning one’s self, and their acceptance and confirmation by the other, give assurance that any resultant vulnerability will not be exploited, either because both partners are equally vulnerable or because each perceives the exchange of progressively more intimate details as a sign of increasingly close interpersonal ties. Generally, as the details get more intimate, that means that the emotional bond in the relationship is probably increasing. So, when the relationship seems to be getting more serious, that is a good time to tell a person sensitive information about yourself that might affect them wanting to have a long-term commitment with you, and that is only fair. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7
More than likely if a person cares enough and can deal with it, then they will likely continue in the relationship because they are already emotionally and somewhat financially invested. For instance, some people have commitment issues and cannot figure out whether they want to move to another part of the country or go back to school, or even just a plan to get a cup of coffee with a friend. One might be reluctant to disclose that he or she has problems making choices, from something as small as choosing what movie to see, to something more significant like signing a lease for house. The fact that persons perceive the intimacy of disclosure as indicative of attraction allows the self-disclosure process to function as a pacing device in the development of a relationship. By the depth of disclosure to another, a person may indicate one’s degree of emotional involvement in the relationship. While our emphasis so far has been on the manner in which self-disclosure allows for maintenance and creation of self-elements, an extremely important reward, self-disclosure provides each partner with information concerning other outcomes as well. Persons learn what kinds of behaviors have reward value to each other and which behaviors are costly. This information, in turn, can be used as a guide in arriving at mutually satisfying patterns of exchange that become a part of the structure of interdependence that constitutes the relationship. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7
As you get to now a person who seemed to be commitment issues, you might begin to understand that person has a lot going for one’s self, and just needed to meet someone who is trustworthy. That individual might be optimistic, loving, and a sincere individual who wants to settle down. People are capable of changing, but not until they are ready to understand how things are controlling their lives. It requires both willingness and openness to new insights and new activities before one is able to take the first step in successfully challenging relationship issues. God has given us the capacity to exercise faith, that we may find peace, joy, and purpose in life. However, to employ its power, faith must be founded on something. There is no more solid foundation than faith in the love Heavenly Father has planned. Lord, make us an instrument of your peace. Grant that we may not so much seek to be loved as to love. God, who from among all your angels, chose the Archangel Gabriel to announce the mystery of the Incarnation, mercifully grant that we who solemnly remember him on Earth may feel the benefit of his patronage in Heaven, who lives and reigns for ever and ever. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7
Love if the Greatest thing in the World
Love is the greatest thing in the World. Friends and romantic partners tend to have certain characteristics in common, such as age, education, and even intelligence. Similarity related to attraction has a long history of empirical support. As covenant-keeping men and women, we need to lift each other and help each other become the people the Lord would have us become. Generally, persons are attracted to others who are similar in social background characteristics and value. The idea that romantic partners or friends would be similar seems pretty intuitive. Studies of friendship suggests that people also have a preference for leisure activities with others who are similar to them. The degree of similarity with respect to opinions, personality traits, and social background characteristics of stimulus persons has for the most part supported the similarity-attraction relationship. Agreement with another leads the person to anticipate rewarding interaction, and where it actually facilitates joint pleasurable activities, it also can be expected to lead to attraction. Agreement in activity preferences, attitudes, and values not only ensures that persons will hit upon mutually satisfying activities, but that they will be able to carry them out with a minimum of friction. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
Next to inspiring talks, music, TV shows, food, and prayers that always touch our hearts, persons are attracted to others who agree with their opinions, but dislike others whose views are divergent. Agreement is rewarding and disagreement punishing, either because liking an agreeing other and disliking one who disagrees provides a balanced cognitive state—one that is psychologically pleasant and comfortable. Or because agreement satisfies a person’s affectance needs, the need to feel secure in dealing with the World. Another general explanation is the persons tend to anticipate that individuals who are similar to them will like them. Homogamy or similarity in social background characteristics and accompanying similarity in interests, attitudes, and values in marital partners is in part the result of structural aspects of society that favor higher rates of interactions among persons similar in these respects, leading to increased chances of their forming a relationship regardless of these similarities. It is important to help create an environment where the Spirit of the Lord can abide. We need to work together to lift each other up and the rising generation and help them reach their divine potential as heirs of eternal life. We should be able to rejoice with each other as we try to become our very best selves. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
There is so much more of happiness to be had when we can rejoice in another’s success and not just in our own. Similarity appears to have stronger effects in the early stages of a relationship because of the kinds of rewards and costs persons experience at later periods in their relationship. Similarity is a filtering device, as it influences each person’s anticipation of future rewards in general, and in particular the reward of being liked. One of the strongest associations on attraction is the correlation between liking and the perception of being liked in turn. People are insecure concerning their acceptance by others, similarity appears to be more powerful factor in influencing their choice of associates than when they feel more secure. We want to feel like we are a precious gift, and would like to express our love for our companions. Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity. Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity. Like all gifts which come from above, words are sacred, and must be spoken with care, and by constraint of the Spirit. Attitudes seem less important at later points in a relationship when there are other bases for reciprocity of liking. In the long run, the need for a relationship with someone we love is so strong that it overcomes differences. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
Physical attractiveness has been shown to have effects similar to central traits or master statuses when it comes to dating. Physical attractiveness accounts for a large part of the variance in dating partners’ responses to each other, including the desire to continue the relationship. Physically attractive people are liked. Attraction may result from the rewards of esthetic satisfaction. Persons may receive rewards from others as a result of their forming a relationship with an attractive other, either because this conforms with a cultural norm that persons toward whom one is attracted is supposed to be physically attractive or because one’s ability to form a relationship with an attractive or because one’s ability to form a relationship with an attractive other attests to one’s own desirability in the eyes of others. Studies have shown that for males at least, that a male romantically involved with an attractive female enhances his status. Both males and females attributed personality traits of higher social desirability to pictures of attractive persons than to pictures of those of average attractiveness or those judged relatively unattractive. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
Respondents also predicted that more attractive people would have more favorable life experiences, including higher occupational status, more successful marriages, and in general greater happiness. Attractive people are more likely to win election, attractive university professors get higher evaluations, and attractive people are usually treated more leniently in the legal system. Physically attractive people are also seen as intimately warmer and more responsive, illustrating the effects of selective perception and perceptual accentuation. Research has also suggested that the effects of the cultural stereotype of the physically attractive are often to bring about behavior on the part of the perceiver that, in the manner of a self-fulfilling prophecy, elicits behavior on the part of the perceived person that further enhances the attractiveness of that person. When people are told that someone is attractive, they are more likely to believe it. Research also shows that small babies prefer to look at attractive faces than less attractive face. Further, children tend to prefer attractive child. And adults think that attractive children are more intelligent and successful. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
These findings show that people often attach beneficial qualities to attractive people. This is sometimes called the physical attractiveness stereotype—the tendency for people to assume that attractive people possess other socially desirable traits in addition to their looks. To some extent, this is true. Some research shows that physically attractive people are more popular and out outgoing. However, these small differences may be due, in part, to self-fulfilling prophecies: because being physically attractive is socially desirable, attractive people may become more confident and outgoing and so may be more confident and outgoing and so may be more popular with others. Also, it is important to note that physical attractiveness has its drawback. In particular, more attractive people are often the subject of unwanted advances and resentment from less attractive individuals. Nevertheless, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. God, strengthen us in the power of your might. Guide us against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the Heavenly places. Protect our soul and grant us discernment to recognize your truth. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
I Remember Looking through the Tears towards the Sky
You go off and leave me here with nobody home. The concept of compromising in a relationship is something that many people have to do. However, there is an emphasis placed on the instability of relationship involving persons of different choice status or popularity, the more popular person tending to leave the relationship because of the availability of more attractive alternatives or, when remaining, tending to exploit the person of lower choice status which encouraged the latter to leave. Overall, people tend to be attracted to those of similar desirability, at least in terms of physical attractiveness. Middle-class individuals of the dominant group take into consideration the satisfaction of socioemotional needs as being central to the relationship of marriage. The core features of emotional development include the ability to identify and understand one’s own feelings, accurately read and comprehend emotional states in others, manage strong emotions and their expression in a constructive manner, to regulate one’s own behavior, to develop empathy for others, and to establish and maintain relationships. Spouses needs for trust, stability, communication, intimacy, and interpersonal sharing must be met. When these needs are cared for, the marriage can become purposeful beyond its own parameters. #RandolphHarris 1 of 8
Housing prices have increased on average nearly 50 percent over the last decade, so among working-class couples socioemotional needs may not be as important as they are with middle-class couples. Parents, younger generations and those living in lower-income households report higher levels of stress than American overall, especially when it comes to stress about money. As a result, people with lower-incomes may put up with more socioemotional instability because they are struggling to pay the bills, as is, and need their partner to meet their financial obligations. However, that does not mean that just because people are suffering from an economic disadvantage that they will put up with abuse. Studies also show that many low-income couples are unhappy because of the financial hardships they face, so it may not be a problem in the love department. Also, low-income people living alone have higher living costs, which can make them bloody miserable. It can be an utterly horrid lifestyle, which may seem like a punishment on the socially inept and inadequate. They cannot afford holidays, nor can they afford to live anywhere better than what some might describe as student hellhole flats, as they do not have a partner’s credit to draw upon and furnish their place to a polished enough standard. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8
Disabled people are the World’s largest minority and because of that they are very much misunderstood. Not all disabled people get around in a wheel chair, some have injuries that are not visible, which might be the result of an accident or illness or they may have been born that way. Individuals who have invisible disabilities face discrimination and microaggressions. Financial exploitation of adults who are elderly or disabled is an increasing problem. It is good to look out and to help those in our communities who are elderly or have disabilities. After all, it is everyone’s business to stop adult abuse, neglect, and exploitation. 16.3 percent of adults have a physical functioning difficulty. There are 77 million adults aged 18 and over with at least one basic actions difficulty or complex activity limitation. To make sense of the World around them, they build upon their individual experiences and knowledge. However, performing daily activities may be challenging for these individuals. These challenges may interfere with social well-being and cause distress. Young adults with physical limitations are less socially active and have fewer romantic relationships than their peers who do not have physical limitations. It is through hardships of life that we grow toward Godhood as our character is shaped in the crucible of affliction, as the events of life take place whole God respects the agency of humanity. #RandolphHarris 3 of 8
The physical impairments may limit the ability to participate in actives with others. And also, because young adults with physical disabilities are already suffering from problems, they often spend every day thinking about how will condition affect them as they age, and will their situations become too much for them to handle when they are senior citizens because they may not be as strong as they are not. Because of that, some people may feel frustrated, angry, or sad as a result of having a physical impairment, especially if they believe those impairments pose challenges to finding a significant other or living independently. Also, a person may not like the place they live, but because of their conditions, unlike most everyone else, they cannot go pick up more hours at work and earn more money to upgrade their lifestyle. And because these people are vulnerable and they may be good at certain things, unscrupulous individuals may use them for their talents, promising rewards, but give nothing in return. However, when the person with the physical limitation stops assisting the individual(s), they may then try to extort that person in order to keep receiving their services for free. People with disabilities do look for opportunities, but are sometimes taken advantage of. The journey through life has had bumps, detours, twists, and turns, mostly as the result of life in a fallen World that is mean to be a place of proving and test. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8
It is important to keep the commandments of God. With love and prayers with can help others learn the compassion and grace of God. Because they suffer from a disability and experience undue hardships and are sometimes are prevented from reaching their dreams, it causes some people to wonder why they are here? This is why we must teach people the love of God. When people really feel the love of God, even though they are experiencing a lot of difficulties, they will be truly happy to be alive. One young man said, “I may not understand why my life has turned out the way it has, and I have no idea where it will go, but serving God is really the best thing ever. There is nothing as wonderful as this. I am so happy. What a joy and marvelous light I behold; my soul is filled with joy as exceeding as is my pain.” As we accept our difficulties and trials with patience and faith and find joy in our covenant path, we are comforted in knowing the Lord knows us. He knows our struggles and concerns. God knows of our desires to serve him with devotion and ambition. And he will guide us and bless us as we do so. Please never feel that you are some kind of second class citizen no matter your limitations. In the Kingdom of God there are no second-class citizens. #RandolphHarris 5 of 8
People who have integrity of heart are people to be trusted—because trust is built on integrity. Earning the Lord’s trust is a blessing that comes through great effort on our part. Trust is a blessing based on obedience to God’s laws. When we keep our promises to the Lord, his trust grows. The rewarding internal state of enhanced self-esteem and the reward of approval from others are also involved in generating attraction in still another way. To gain and maintain the status of normality, persons are expected by others and themselves to have friends and intimate relationships. Regardless of the features of the relationship or characteristics of the persons involved, the fact of having a relationship, such as marriage, validates one’s personal adequacy, heterosexual normality, and personal maturity in the eyes of others as well as of oneself. Although recent trends toward greater acceptance of the single state for adults in our society may indicate a relaxation of normative pressures in this direction, they still exist. Whatever your circumstances or the reasons for them, how wonderful you are. Along the way, you will obtain compensatory blessings, even if they are not immediately apparent. However, we are reminded that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions. #RandolphHarris 6 of 8
Hold out the best hope for the World, including for your future happiness. Self-supplied rewards are not only involved in conformity processes influencing behavior in the early stage of a relationship, they are implicated in other ways as well. Contemporary social learning theory recognizes that persons can, through their control over their own cognitive processes, administer rewards and punishments by imagining certain consequences of their behavior. It is probable that persons contribute to early growth of a relationship by imagining future rewards and by recounting and, in a sense, replaying their imagination early pleasurable contacts with their partners. The considerable preoccupation of each partner with the other during the early stages of the courtship relationship probably involves a good bit of this self-rewarding activity. Although you often feel alone, in truth you are never totally on your own. #RandolphHarris 7 of 8 As you move forward in patience and in faith, providence will move with you; Heaven will bestow its needful blessings. Your perspective and view of life will change when, rather than being cast down, you look up. Feel the sense of greater acceptance of yourself and life, with an understanding heart, and deeper gratitude for what you have. Lord,we earnestly seek after you, we seek your kingdom, your will that Heaven may come to Earth and your presence would be known by all. We lay our plans before you, please rearrange them as you see fit, God. And lead us in everlasting way. We give you the desires of our hearts, our ambitions, and surrender them all to you. God, please anoint them for your purposes and glory. We give your our whole being, our gifts and our character, please come and sharpen our skills and transform our hearts this and every day. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 8 of 8
This is the Best Season for Falling in Love
While we strive for the virtue of tolerance, other commendable qualities need not be lost. Suppose you see someone you like in the supermarket, you might start off an encounter by asking them is $26 is too much to pay for eggs. The increasing emphasis on process and on a development approach to attraction has psychological and sociological approaches. Love is special because it is innocent and pure. People in a loving relationship will forever remember the hugs, cuddles, holding hands, sweet whispers, long drives, late night conversations and the romantic walks through the park. The sheer excitement of feeling love will engrave all the sweet moments in your mind forever, as you experience extreme range of emotional highs and lows that make love an epic experience. The growth of a relationship takes places in three stages: an early stage in which initial attraction is based on the stimulus characteristics of the persons, their physical characteristics, and so forth; a second stage where values consensus is explored and confirmed; and a final stage where the details of their roles within the relationship are worked out to the mutual advantage of the partners. Fortunately, for many people, they do not have issues like dear Samantha from Bewitched. You see, beautiful Samantha falls in love with the handsome New York advertising executive Darrin Stephens, and she feel like the luckiest woman in the World. Shortly after, they marry. However, Darrin later on finds out that Samantha is one of a secret society of powerful witches and warlocks and that she has magical powers. A few years go by, and Samantha and Darrin have words over if he would have married her or not knowing that she is a witch, and so they go back in the past, to begin with a precontact or preawareness stage in order to allow consideration of the factors to see if they would influence the relationship.
Things get complicated when Samantha tells Darrin she is a witch before the engagement. The awareness allows for an influence on his first impression of Samantha and the perceptual process and self-presentation disturbs Darrin when she uses her witchcraft manifest two different dinners in a fraction of a second. Although Darrin still asks Samantha to marry him, his boss Larry Tate also finds out that she is a witch and this leads to a role negotiation in the defining and evaluation of the relationship. Larry Tate wants to use Samantha to make their advertising firm the most successful in the World. So, Samantha feels like Darrin is just using her for her powers and to get a promotion to Vice President, and the discussion allowed for consideration of process to the maintenance of the relationship or its eventual dissolution. As a result, Darrin and Samantha almost do not get married. However, Darrin’s boss Larry Tate admits that he is the one who came up with the idea to use Samantha for her powers, and Darrin and Sam still get married, then they go back to the future and are happy that their love is true. No matter if she told him she was a witch or not, Darrin would have married her. Any explanation of the formation and growth of a relationship must start at some point prior to the time when the two individuals meet. Starting at a level of no contact and no awareness, there are various factors that two persons in a given populations will move at least to the stage of unilateral awareness. The crucial variables here are of two kinds. First, there is a variety of institutional structures and processes that determine the physical and temporal location of person. Social variables, such as social class, that affect residential, occupational, and leisure-time locations, along with the ecological process of differentiation and segregation that create distinctive location for types of persons and activities, influence the likelihood that persons will encounter each other.
These social and individual variables are implicated also in the development of social networks, another source of influence on the likelihood of contact between persons. When a person is linked to a particular network or web of acquaintances, one is more likely to know about and be introduced to others in that network. These variables and processes account in part for the general tendency toward homogamy in relationships because their effect generally is to increase the likelihood, frequency, and duration of contact between persons similar in social and, to some extent, personal characteristics. Structural and ecological influences are also related to attraction through their effects on propinquity. Mate selection deals with residential proximity of future spouses. Distance, as well as architectural features influence traffic patterns within and between buildings, affected acquaintanceship, and their can also be attraction among housemates. The beautiful Victorian house painted in whimsical colors, with its charming turrets, attic dormers creating cozy spaces on the third floor. The wide front porch, with pretty roses growing on a beautiful white trellis looked so stunning. And, beyond being a lovely place to linger, beautiful lush blooms in the rose garden create stunning scenery and waves of wonderful fragrance. Butterflies are numerous, birds and bees zip around the flowers. This happiness gets engrained in your mind forever. The blissful feeling of love can never be replicated because it is natural. There is a sense that your love will last forever, and you plan all of your hopes and dreams with your relationship. The beautiful memories of this once in a lifetime experience will linger in your heart and mind forever. Proximity is related in a variety of ways to attraction. Physical intimacy, like simply holding hands makes for a sweet, romantic moment. Love is pure attraction, led by mind and heart. In addition to the indirect effect of propinquity on attraction through similarity, physical closeness facilitates a number of processes that contribute to attraction. When interacting with those nearby, persons are likely to hit upon outcomes sufficiently satisfactory to discourage interaction with those at greater distance. The interactions with those physically close is much more apt to produce initially favorable outcomes for a number of reason. First, the physical and psychological costs are likely to be less in interaction. Whereas the low physical cost is obvious. Psychologically, normative expectations are such as to make interaction between persons spatially contiguous psychologically less costly than with those only slightly more distant. Also, if you are going out of your way to make contact with someone who you are attracted with, they will notice and wonder why you are contacting them when there is obviously someone closer you could have contacted instead. As you gradually learn to be more fully conscious in many aspects of your life—your breathing, your thoughts, your body—you will become increasingly good at noticing what is going on when you are engaged in interactions with others.
You will be able to observe yourself, noticing what kind of messages your mind may be giving you, or noticing how the other person responds to what you are doing or saying. By increasing your overall level of awareness through mindfulness practice, you will begin to feel much more capable of thinking and acting in new ways in difficult areas of your life, especially in your intimate relationships. Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially, possibly as friends or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a prospective partner in a more committed intimate relationship or marriage. Romantic relationships are important for our happiness and well-being. When building a relationship, it is important to be honest and take things slow. Tell a person you want to get to know them and wonder if they would like to join you for brunch. This way, one is establishing a foundation of appreciation and respect. Occasionally set aside time to check in with each other on changing expectations and goals. Makes sure that a person is interested in being more than friends with you before you make an intimate gesture. The goal in any relationship is to feel safe, supported, and respected. The degree that proximity encourages frequent observation and interaction, persons are able to predict each other’s behavior and avoid the cost of uncertainty and response conflict, reactions which are apt to occur in unfamiliar situations. And, frequent interactions not only increase the chances of discovering similarities as well as other rewarding characteristics of another person, but allows for the operation of social influences processes that may produce similarity. In addition, a variety of processes emerge in early interaction, that provides a certain momentum favoring a relationship already initiated over later alternatives. However, do not assume you are irresistible. You may not be someone’s type, they may already be in a relationship, or you may have to be charming and charismatic to get their affection. Nevertheless, our highest priorities in life are to love God and to love our family, community, nation and World. May our hearts be filled with sweet forgiving; may we learn tolerance and love and respect.
Sorry does Not Restore my Hindsight
At the beginning was the word, one who wants to make progress, even if by the smallest steps, must first liberate one’s self from the word, from the superstition of names, and from the tyranny of language. In addition, one of the important things learned in the acquisition of institutional roles is how to maintain self-esteem even under adverse organizational circumstances. Proper attitude in this crisis dominated World is a priceless possession. Never before has it been more important for all of us to move forward with pride. We may be behind, but we are not losing if we are moving in the right direction. God will not score our performances until the end of the journey. He who has made us expects us to be victorious. God stands by anxious to answer or calls for help and for us to praise and thank him. We must lead with good cheer, optimism, and courage if we are manifest the Kingdom of God. We should thank the Lord, our God, in all things with thankfulness and shall be made glorious. Thank God in all personal challenges. With God’s help, we can accomplish all things and be winners indeed in the processes of eternity. #RandolphHarris 1 of 8
No one really knows a language, not even one’s native language; indeed, there is no such thing as a language. In science, it is clear that only the knowledge of the history of an idea can impart a clear conception of the true nature of that ides. Since every word has its own history, for a thorough knowledge of a language one would need to be familiar with its whole history. This is completely unknown to most people. Even the philologist’s knowledge about it is quite superficial. It is a colossal delusion to believe that language is a property of humankind and that it is something inherently rich. If language were such a thing—sort of like a tool—then with use it would deteriorate and wear out. However, language is not an object, not a property, not a tool—but a usage. Language is simply language-use. This is not a play on words, but a fact. Angelical was supposed to have been the language God used to create the World, and then used by Adam to speak with God and Angels and to name all things in existence. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8
Language is a truly remarkable phenomenon—arbitrary and yet systematic, obviously learned but apparently on the basis of specific innate capacities, understood by small children, but infinite in its possible variations. After his fall from Paradise, Adam lost the language of Angelical, and constructed a form of proto-Hebrew based upon his vague memory of Angelical. This explains why the more language is used, the richer and stronger it grows. If we want to start seeing the power of God manifest in our lives, we will have to start paying attention to what we say. Words have power—more than any of us may realize, but we often speak of them as though they were meaningless. Because of that, mist believers at one time or another have been hurt by something a careless whisper. Every time an individual says something that they do not really means, it begins to numb the heart. Therefore, keep it down, voices carry. Human beings attain social goals through talk. That this gets done (with errors and violations of a magnitude sufficient ordinarily only to reveal the underlying patterns) is itself remarkable. What is even more remarkable is the substantial similarity in how it gets done in what at first appear to be very different cultures and very different modes of talk. #RandolphHarris 3 of 8
Language is so complex that children could not learn them if there were not genetically fitted to do so. Infants have some sort of innate capacity (sometimes called the LAD or Language Acquisition Device) which permits them to construct theories of their language on the basis of the speech data in the World around them. Children’s speech capabilities are both well developed and individually differentiated at fairly young ages (five years is frequently seen as a threshold); some investigators have therefore concluded that the LAD begins to atrophy at the point at which the fundamentals of language are mastered. Other investigators assert that language learning is a life-long process, and that adaption and modification of language is continuous. Children’s rapid acquisition of a wide range of grammatical (phonological, syntactic) skills is well documented. The parallel development of skills children acquire which allow them to use their developing linguistic skills effectively in social interaction, develop best in a World that is rich with sounds, sights, and consistent exposure to the speech and language of others. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8
Face, in a certain context, is a public self-image that every member wants to claim for one’s self. Philosophers have always been interested in meaning, and have contributed to much of the conceptual apparatus used in its discussion (sense, reference, connotation, denotation, intention, intension, and so forth). Problems of meaning are not simple, and for many years linguists seemed willing to let philosopher struggles with them. Investigators who have studied conversational exchanges in English have identified and described such features of conversation, as for example, sequencing (including placement of laughter), interruptions, self- (and other) corrections, and so forth, in order to explicate such conversational accomplishments as, for example, gaining and holding the floor, telling acceptable stories, extending invitations, making social categorization, and so on. The analysis is understanding of how conversations are successfully begun, carried on, and ended in rule-governed social interaction. Language is also used as a method of social control in talk than to more visible instances of manipulative acts involving named instrumentalities. #RandolphHarris 5 of 8
There are many ways of saying the same thing, depending on the age and culture of the person and also the location where what they are trying to explained happened. Some people do not always know how to accurately transform their thoughts into action, and such a mistake could get a person in a lot of trouble. Also, social control attempts are things we should pay more attention to. Some people try to manipulate the sound of words to convey a point on the sly, while others will make a statement so you can gather a social que and act in the manner they are suggesting. And Body language can be used to make statements as well. I do not think anyone would wish to deny the obvious—that we keep on learning more of our language in some sense as we get older. Language develops cognitive skills, fosters connections to international markets, preserves ancient traditions and histories, and cultivates a crucial understanding and appreciation of the World. When we can understand that culture in its language, and get a comprehensive view, we are immediately receptive to areas where conflict can be averted. #RandolphHarris 6 of 8
It is important to train global citizens and global leaders to have a transcultural literacy at a deep level. For some cultures, “Cooking fish,” does not mean preparing fish that you bought from the market for a meal to consume. Language is employed as a resource in social control and on the macrolevel those who control symbol control societies through their use in cultural reproduction and therefore in continuing class dominance. The greater an individual’s context independence in speech, through greater facility in these elaborated codes, the greater an individual’s ability to disengage from the immediate and the concrete (that is, to attain cognitive detachment), and thus the greater one’s autonomy and control over access to the environment is. Controllers are also used in different mixes of control modes and discretion in accomplishing different functions. For example, if you pick a friend up and she or he lives far away and they ask can they stay the night, but you do not want them to, you might say, “When do you think you will be ready to leave?” or “You will have to walk home if you stay.” Many people speak English, but different subcultures use certain words in a context, which might make you think you need to consult an ancient scribe. #RandolphHarris 7 of 8
Biblical thought and indeed the intellectual cultural traditions of most societies are communicated especially through languages. The choice and orchestration of the words provide a clue to what the meaning of the World is about. What is so perilous, then, in the fact that people speak and that their speech proliferates? Where is the danger in that? Philosophers, linguists, psychologist, and social psychologists as well, are deeply involved in questions of meaning and intent. Reading ancient text may not solve all of our problems, but it will give us a sense of whom we are talking to, of what fundamental social, cultural, and ecological realities we are facing, which we ignore at our peril. Latin, at the height of the Empire, was a sick language before it become a dead language. The cultural languages of our age are similarly sick, rotten to the core. We need to keep language strong and healthy. The languages of sophistication have all developed through metaphorization and we need to prevent them from all becoming childish as the meanings of the metaphors are forgotten. Sorry does not restore my hindsight. Now may the Lord, peace himself, give you his peace at all times and in every situation. #RandolphHarris 8 of 8
California’s Circle of Fear
The purpose of a career is so that leaders can shape a better World by strategically exploring, planning, and creating future paths, where their actions and choices also facilitate continuous learning and growth in the work force. The structural imperative of the job, requires values that give a wide range of psychological variables, especially intellectual flexibility. Empirical evidence is substantive that complexity of work beneficially affects the socialization and self-creation of the individual. More specifically, as jobs increase in status and prestige, they also increase the degree of autonomy, creativity, and discretion allowed in the worker. The career also tends to be more satisfying and rewarding. People in work situations that provide little opportunity for upward mobility tend to limit their aspirations, seek satisfaction in activities outside of work or alienation from work. These displaced workers will create strong peer associations in which interpersonal relations take precedence over other aspects of the job, and develop loyalties to the local unit rather than to the larger organization. The second dimension, being low in organizational power, also has negative psychological and behavioral consequences for the individual. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7
Individuals who are stifled at work become pettier, bossier, and more authoritarian; use subordinates for their frame of reference; and rely more on coercive than persuasive techniques of control. And the third dimension is when people are underrepresented in their career field, they find it harder to be taken seriously; are more isolated and excluded from informal peer networks, and may be oppressed. All of these dimensions represent behavioral consequences of disadvantaged position is the work force. Breaking these cycles of development is difficult because the tendency is for the individual’s competence, confidence, and power progressively to increase (or decrease); and the perceptions and expectations that others have of the individual become solidified. This model can produce a set of structural conditions that contribute to the development of self-actualizing or self-defeating people. Self-actualized people are motivated to try out new experiences. They will feel secure enough about one’s own personality—strengths, weaknesses, and uniqueness—to expand one’s horizon. In contrast, people who are self-defeating let external influences serve to frustrate, thwart, or destroy one’s own intention of interests by internalizing and letting negative forces dictate their abilities. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7
The structure of opportunity brings in the workers assessment of the future, via prospects for upward mobility, as a factor in present adjustments. People relate to the present in part in terms of their expectations and prospects for the future to be stuck is a very different work experience than being up and coming. There is ample evidence on work in American society to suggest substantial dissatisfaction and alienation of workers from their jobs. In a recent department of Health, Education, and Welfare report, only 43 percent of workers who perform professional jobs (doctors, lawyers, teachers) and just 24 percent of labor workers (construction workers, retail, manufacturers) reported that they were satisfied with their jobs. The socialization consequences of work settings can reflect either processes of relatively passive compliance and adaptation to external exigencies or process of self-determination and expansion. Therefore, a critical element of career philosophy is to support internal mobility. Internal mobility is the extent to which employees move into new careers within an organization, based on their performance. It is a measure of how well some corporations encourage employees to develop and stretch themselves so that they can advance and live a productive life. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7
Employees who are successful keep their skills and knowledge fresh and current. They show up to work on time, are professional, have good hygiene, maintain a reputation for being optimistic and adaptable. Highly competent employees develop and sustain meaningful professional relationships, and they stay informed about current trends influencing the corporation, economy, and their specific career field. Re-socialization can take place in various institutional settings established for this purpose, such as in peer groups, church, and compensatory education programs. The specific objectives of these contexts vary from political socialization (or brainwashing) to religious conversion to various types of reeducation such as workshops and meetings. Delinquency is seen primarily as a group phenomenon and the task of rehabilitation is one of changing the shared delinquent characteristics. Participation in some of these contexts is voluntary, and in others involuntary. Most of these contexts can be characterized as involving intense small-group interaction where the socialization ratio is large, and where the interaction environment is totalistic or closed. Under these circumstances, one’s sense of reality is most effectively restructured. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7
The Democratic Communist program used brainwashing as a source of reeducation. Along with the physical coercion, the lack of sleep, and various forms of psychological stress, physical and financial assault to weaken their target’s hold on past beliefs and identities. It was a process of identity casting used in the situation. From the beginning, it was made clear that the target’s life and rights did not matter, and that they must perish, and in one’s place must arise a new person, resurrected in the Communist mold. Often times that meant an individual was killed and their identity was given to a different person. The original person’s major status identifications, such as doctor, priest, teacher, as well as the individual’s name, were undermined and replaced by the identity of criminal. Perhaps the most significant assaults upon the now prisoner’s identity occurred during the process of confession. Confession, which was the major technique employed by the captors to involve the prisoner in the process of one’s own reform, required thorough and compelling self-examination of every action, attitude, and thought, and always from the people’s perspective. A series of denunciations of friends and associates was required as an essential part of the confession. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7
Making these denunciations not only generated feelings of guilt and shame in the prisoner, but it subverted the structure of one’s own life. Even when the prisoner was aware that one’s confession was wild and one’s denunciations invalid, one usually began to behave as if one were a criminal. If the prisoner would not, then the opposition forces would have someone impersonate the individual to act out the behavior the oppressors wanted to convince the public that the prisoner’s refashioned identity was emerging. This may be considered the rebirth. In this case, the boy’s initial situation was purposely amorphous: The prisoner is left on one’s own to figure out why authorities are doing what they are doing and what they must do to get out of trouble. The new conscript soon discovered that the only avenue for release was through participation in the delinquent peer group, which was the primary source of pressure for change. The main interactions took place in daily group discussion session. In these group sessions, the essential ingredients of identity assault included confession of past transgressions through a minute re-examination of the past, including one’s former identities, with the assistant of a reform vocabulary and the constant pressure of the peer group. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7
Usually these targets are easy to break because they are alienated from their past identity, unhappy with themselves or their lives, lack a strong sense of self and identity, and carry a burden of guilt. The main task for the group is to channel this discontent into the creation of the new self. Initially, the major technique used to make the prisoner receptive to change was fear. It was simply fear of physical punishment and harassment. However, as the effects of confession, self-betrayal, and group attack began to take hold, it became a fear of psychological annihilation (hitting rock bottom psychologically). There is also another strategy, which was to use love to manipulate the prisoner. Love is used as the most coercive and cruel power of all. Either love or fear was used to strengthen the group’s hold over the individual and make the individual more vulnerable to radical re-socialization. However, when a target is resistant, the program may fail. Although the individual may be physically weaker, psychologically they are stronger. And as the participants in the program group, the corruption becomes exposed because people hear about the torture and they start to see. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7
QUICK MOVE-IN | HOMESITE 67
New HomesCresleigh HavenwoodQuick Move-In | Homesite 67
Randolph Harris II International Institute 