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Claim God’s Blessing Instead of Just Longing for them!
Every calling is great when greatly pursued. Upon the subject of education, not presuming to dictate any plan or system respecting it, I can only say that I view it as the most important subject which we as a people can be engaged in. Every person should receive at least, a moderate education, and thereby be enabled to read the histories of one’s own and other countries, by which one may duly appreciate the value of our free institutions, appears to be an object of vital importance. There is also great advantages and satisfaction to be derived from all being able to read the scriptures and others works, both of a religious and moral nature. I desire to see the time when education, and by its means, morality, sobriety, enterprise and industry, shall become much more than at present, and shall be gratified to have it in my power to contribute something to the advancement of any measure which might have a tendency to accelerate the happy era. The dependent variable of interest has been global self-esteem. However, specific self-concept components may be still more strongly affected by social identity context. One of these is academic self-concept of the school pupil. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7
Although the data are not abundant, they suggest that racial dissonance may be somewhat more damaging to academic self-concept than to global self-esteem, despite the fact that several studies show that youngsters in desegregated settings perform better academically than those in segregated settings. Although underrepresented children in predominantly privileged schools obtained somewhat higher scores on standardized tests than those in substandard schools, nevertheless, for each group as the proportion in privileged school increases, the [minority] child’s [academic] self-concept decreases. Five studies showed the effect of contextual dissonance on academic self-esteem to be negative and only one study suggested it was beneficial; in two studies, no clear difference appeared. The chief reason, of course, is that dissonant racial context provides a damaging comparison reference group for minority children. Studies generally show that students who are a minority in a privileged school, tend to have marks that compare unfavorably, on average, with those of the majority group attending the same schools. It is thus understandable that their academic self-concept should suffer more than their global self-esteem under these circumstances. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7
Another self-concept dimension is stability. Although the data suggest that the effect of dissonance on stability is not a powerful one, some evidence indicates that those in dissonant contexts have more unstable, shifting, and uncertain self-concepts. In a study of an urban school system, disprivileged children in dissonant racial contexts were conspicuously more likely to have unstable self-concepts than disprivileged children in consonant contexts; this proved to be true even when self-esteem was controlled. The New York State study also examined the relationship of religious dissonance and self-concept instability controlling on self-esteem. Although contextual dissonance did not show an association to self-concept stability (independent of self-esteem) among Jewish adolescents, some association between these variables appeared among Protestant, and definite association appeared among Catholics. Why contextual dissonance should foster self-concept instability is not certain, but one possibility is that the dissonant context may fail to provide interpersonal confirmation for the individual’s self-hypothesis. Many self-attitudes require confirmation. Among the various types of evidence confirming or disconfirming a self-hypothesis, probably the most important is interpersonal: others must legitimate the individual’s role identity if one is to maintain a stable self-concept. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7
Thus, with regard to the racial context, the greater self-image instability of minority children in dissonant context may be attributed to the fact that privileged children and teachers in these settings do not provide sufficient confirmation for the minority child’s self-concept. While one may see oneself as physically attractive, mild in disposition, and honest, at least some proportion of the prejudiced privileged children may not appreciate one’s good looks and may act as if one is threatening, aggressive, or dishonest. Such behavior may be fueled by jealousy and competition, and could well introduce doubts and uncertainty in the child’s mind about who or what an individual is. And that is why it is important to teach your child that the only thing that truly matters is their relationship with God and being a good person. While it is nice to have friends and material objects, being good, and doing good is actually what matter. It is also important to have a support group, and the church is a great place to go to talk to someone who is actually concerned with your salvation and concerned about you as a God loving human being. It is great to keep a record, as God has done many miracles. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7
However, any kind of prejudice—prejudgment—including the excessively optimistic may cause individual to feel uncertain and doubt their ability, it could rob them of their kilter for determining their own value. Especially when people excessively and continuously try to target them as a problem, out of malice, when they know that child is a good person, and it could even lead to health problems like headaches, upset stomach, fatigue, and loss of pleasure in life. The liberal professor who publicly asserts how smart and cute and otherwise wonderful the minority child is, whether or not the child actually is like this at all, may generate equal uncertainty and insecurity in the child, thereby fostering an unstable self-concept. No country can sustain, in idleness, more tan a small percentage of its numbers. The great majority must labor at something productive. A capacity, and taste, for reading, gives access to whatever has already been discovered by others. It is the key, or one of the keys, to the already solved problems. And not only so. It gives a relish, and facility, for successfully pursuing the [yet] unsolved ones. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7
Social identity dissonance has also been shown to have a bearing on the salience of social identity elements. For example, at any given point, which of various social identity elements—race, religion, age, gender, occupation, and so forth—is at the forefront of attention? One answer to this question is that salience is likely to be governed by the distinctiveness postulate. The distinctiveness postulate implies that what is salient in a person’s spontaneous self-concept is the person’s peculiarities, the ways in which one differs from other people in one’s customary social environment. For example, a minority of a particular group of women is more likely to be conscious of her race; but if she is among men of her own race, she is more likely to be conscious of her gender. It has also been found that girls in classes in which boys were in the majority, and boys in classes in which girls were the majority, were more likely spontaneously to mention gender when describing themselves. Ethnic salience also tended to be higher in dissonant contexts. Similarly, study of American adolescents visiting Israel found that these youngsters were much more likely to be aware of themselves as American when in Israel than when in America. Because of the distinctiveness postulate, social identity components tend to be more salient in dissonant than in consonant contexts. #RandolphHarris 6 of 7
These data thus suggest that dissonant social identity contexts may have an effect—though not usually a very powerful one—on global self-esteem, academic self-concept, self-concept stability, and salience of identity components. Dissonant context may also have some advantageous consequences, but these are not generally related directly to the self-concept. Identity experiences are events or involvements that test, define, or challenge one’s sense of identity of self-hood, so that it is no longer taken for granted. The forces of the soul can regenerate the outer World. Where we awaken every morning provides the most immediate opportunity for awakening soul to the outer World. It does not matter if you live in an apartment or condominium rather than a house; the image of the house evokes archetypal, permanent aspects of Earth connected with the desire to feel at home in the World. The house is more than a box within which to live; it is a soul activity to be retrieved from the numbness of the World of modern life. God’s grace is given wonderfully, but not wastefully, we must entrust his care to everything we own. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7
Revolution of the Science of the Human Mind
Help! Save me from seeing, not from dreaming; and keep the thieves, away from my dreams. When I was a younger my grandmother would tell me that “Telling Stories” is a polite way of telling someone they are fibbing. When I was younger, my father used to make me go visit my grandparents, at the time, I did not want to because he would never go with me. However, now I am happy that I did visit my grandparents because it is nice to know where I came from. Recently, the Girl Scouts told the World not to make their children feel they would have to hug relatives if they do not want to. However, I was watching Bewitched ( popular television show from the 1960s and 1970s) and grandma Stephens came to visit her granddaughter Tabatha and Tabatha’s mother, Samantha, made her give grandma Stephens a big hug, and she coached her to do it before she opened the door and let grandma Stephens in. So, grandma Stephens was so impressed at how polite and loving her granddaughter was. And it just reminded me how it is necessary to teach our children to be loving, as it helps to strengthen bonds and makes family members feel loved and respected. Also, if you do not show your parents and grandparents that you cherish them, they will remember that on birthdays, holidays, and when they write their will. #RandolphHarris 1 of 9
The bearing of social identity elements as race, religion, or gender on the self-concept are varied and complex. Our understanding of these effects, however, has been appreciably advanced by recognizing that the self-concept is more than a random conglomeration of elements; it is, on the contrary, a structure whose elements are arranged in a hierarchy of salience. Some elements are at the center of the individual’s concerns, whereas others are more peripheral. For example, the position of a mother is generally more salient (prominent) to the woman than father is to the man. People are more likely to seek to play central than peripheral roes. If a tennis player ranks high in one person’s value hierarchy and low in another’s, then the former will be more likely to perceive a given situation as an opportunity to perform in terms of that identity. Thus, a scientist may begrudge every moment spent away from his or her laboratory, an athlete may champ at the bit in his or her eagerness to get out on the playing field, and so on. Also, as individual’s grow as people, they will learn how important it is to keep personal information private and to be honest. #RandolphHarris 2 of 9
There are a group of people involved in the American news industry and they have questionable ways of sourcing information. Some of them claim to be psychics and believe that they can sense the intent of a situation before it happens. These people often work with government agencies and law enforcement and are able to access personal information and records that are confidential and they often distort the material and lie for fun. Not only that, but they also invade your personal life and spy on you and that is very dangerous because they have been responsible for ruining lives, ripping families apart, getting people hurt and killed all to serve their objectives. To further highlight this illustration, Bewitched is a situational comedy that aired in the 1960 and 1970s. It starred a beautiful young lady called Samantha and she was married to a tall, dark, handsome advertising executive called Darrin who had really nice hair. On the episode called I Confess, which originally aired 4th April 1968, Darrin gets a glimpse of his life if everyone knew that Samantha was a witch. #RandolphHarris 3 of 9
Darrin took his wife Samantha with him to work to tell his boss and owner of the advertising company, Mr. Larry Tate, that Samantha was a witch. Darrin thought that Mr. Tate would be shocked and afraid, but instead he wanted to use Samantha’s powers of witchcraft to take over the World and make his firm the most successful advertising industry on the planet. After that Darrin told his neighbor’s that Samantha was a witch, and people were selling tickets to see her, watching her house, and it put her life in danger. Eventually, Darrin lost his wife and his daughter Tabatha because the military contacted them and told them it was no longer safe for her to life in public because there were so many threats against her life. Fortunately, however, thankfully it was just a dream (and is a television show), so when Darrin woke up he forgot all about it. The idea of true healing still has some meaning. Nevertheless, this fairy tale shows you the dangers of the news media having too much power and access to people’s lives and secrets. When the news is allowed to break the laws and not be punished they put real lives in danger. We should be concerned with the consequence of spiritual decay. #RandolphHarris 4 of 9
An industry, like the news media, that is built on exposing people and hurting people is very dangerous. To many of these reporters and journalists, we are nothing more than a news story waiting to happen. They do not care about the harm they may cause by leaking sensitive information, as our lives are meaningless to many of them. And, if an individual complains about them invading one’s life or personal business, they will often have an entertainment lawyer reach out and threaten to sue the individual complaining and have that individual arrested. Also, because the news is so powerful and they work with governors, mayors, and law enforcement, they could charge an individual with a crime for contacting them and asking them to leave one alone. The reporters are relentless in Sacramento, California and probably else were and spend years and decades terrorizing people looking for a story and nothing is done until the federal government sees there is a serious problem going on. Some people have been physically attacked by reporters and extorted and these reporters go unpunished. And when they are reported to their parent company or other regulatory agencies, they refuse to investigate and will say something like, “We have no affiliation with them,” or “We need more information.” #RandolphHarris 5 of 9
Anyone who can dream must have a passionate desire to protect the World of one’s dreams against intruders. With our roles in society, we are more likely to cultivate the skill or qualified relevant to the role performances of central statuses than of peripheral one. For example, an athlete may give full attention to ensuring that he or she is in peak physical condition but show far less concern with whether he or she is behaving properly as a nephew or brother. The pianist may practice endlessly to improve his or her musical ability, but make no effort to learn to perform home repairs. Role performance of central statuses may transfer or diffuse to other statuses. This process is called role-person merger. The person is consisting of all the roles in an individual’s repertoire. The question raised is whether the attitudes and behavior developed as an expression of one role carry over into other situations. For example, the professional who carries the office bearing and air of authority into family and community dealings have become to a considerable degree the professional role played at work. In these circumstances, a particular status moves to the top of one’s identity hierarchy; the role standard, or qualities expected of a status incumbent, become of primary concern to the individual, and these qualities generalize to other roles. #RandolphHarris 6 of 9
Under certain circumstances, in fact, a social identity element may become so important that it overwhelms the others. One expression of this idea is the labeling theorist’s concept of role engulfment. This concept suggests that the individual’s identification of the self with some labeled category, for example, homosexual, embezzler, or drug addict, may loom so large in his or her consciousness that all else pales by companions. His or her other statuses or characteristics, however, admirable, come to count for nothing in his or her eyes. Furthermore, global self-esteem is more likely to hinge on performance in central than in peripheral roles. This point has been felicitously by William James, “I am who for the time have stacked my all on being a psychologist, am mortified if others know much more psychology than I. However, I am contented to wallow in the grossest ignorance of Greek. My deficiencies there give me no sense of personal humiliation at all. Had I ‘pretensions’ to be a linguist, it would have been just the reverse.” Our supreme focus should be on the spiritual miracles that are available to all of God’s children. #RandolphHarris 7 of 9
Our sense of who and what we are tends to hinge more importantly on central than on peripheral identity elements. The woman who loses her identity as wife when her husband passes into Heaven, or a man who loses his identity as a carpenter or engineer upon forced retirement, may experience feelings of uncertainty about who or what he or she really is. The loss of peripheral identity elements, on the other hand, may have little effect. For some reason that is not readily evident, sociologists appear to have been more active in developing and elaborating the idea of social identity salience than in examining it empirically. That strongly valued traits have a particularly powerful impact on global self-esteem has been clearly supported by research. Differential social identity valuation would be expected to show similar effects. The dream is one of our most powerful weapons against the psychoanalysts who insist on interpreting it. The powerful dreamer, free of guilt, stand wholly outside this World. The only guilt one feels and for which one is prepared to atone is the guilt of others. In the healthy World of one’s pure spirit, there is no room for guilt. #RandolphHarris 8 of 9
The most important thing is to save the dream, this is the noblest attribute of an individual and artist, from destruction. We live in a day in which misinformation about our beliefs abounds. In times such as these, a failure to protect and deepen our spiritual foundation is an invitation to have then gnawed at by those who seek to destroy our faith in God, as they gnarl and buckle as us like a chain saw. Our dreams should not be interpreted by someone else. Instead, we should use our own dreams as an inspiration toward attaining precisely that knowledge of which the dreamer is deprived. Otherwise we may find ourselves bound by the advisory’s chains and being led carefully down forbidden paths. Our spiritual foundation goes deeper as sincere personal and family prayers becomes bastions of our faith as we repent daily, seeking the companionship of the Holy Ghost, and learn God and his attributes and strive to become virtuous. Dreams are a beacon of hope and do not let anyone steal your dream no matter how impossible they say it is. Pray for great things, expect great things, work for great things, but above all pray. We love you and thank you, God. #RandolphHarris 9 of 9
Are My Usual Thoughts and Present Actions Worthy of Eternal Life?
It is a wonderful feeling to conquer wrong practices and to be free and unencumbered from their detrimental effects, both physically and spiritually. We should all take a careful inventory of our habits. Change comes by substituting good habits for less desirable one. We mold our character and future by good thought and acts. Social identity elements refer to the groups, statuses, or social categories to which the members of society are socially recognized as belonging. The human being enters a named, classified World, and is immediately sorted into socially relevant categories. Scarcely has the infant entered the World than he or she is immediately classified according to race, sex, religion, nationality, and so forth. In due course, new socially recognized categories, some of his or her own choosing, are added. These are the fundamental bases upon which society, independent of the special and unique features of each individual, orders and arranges its members. The future we seek is a life motivated by good thoughts, expressed in good works, and sustained by an inner peace and determination of righteous doing. The destiny we desire is an inheritance in the celestial mansion prepared by our Savior for the faithful of God’s children. #RandolphHarris 1 of 8
We should become so involved in acquiring good quality traits and participating in character-building activities that there is no time to engage in anything worthless or harmful. No universally recognized classification of social identity elements is at hand. As children of God, we are given the privilege and opportunity of choosing which way of life we will follow—which habits we will form. The habits that direct our lives and form our character are fashioned in the commonplace of routine life, and they are acquired by practice. Social identity elements shape the self-concept in a number of ways. To an important extent they define for the individual what he or she is; the individual feels he is a male, lawyer, Protestant, father. Furthermore, if the social identity element is ambiguous (for example, is one an adolescent or a young adult? a music student or a musician?) the self-concept is correspondingly ambiguous. These identity elements, because of their associated role standards, represent criteria for self-judgment. A boy may condemn himself for a lack of courage which a girl may accept without a qualm. Conversely, a boy is unembarrassed at his inability to sew, a girl unembarrassed at her ineptitude at catching forward passes. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8
Am I setting my sights on eternal goals and working to obtain them? Role performances influence social action; this behavior, in turn, comes to constitute an important part of the content of the self-concept. The good habits of a child’s early training form the foundation for his or her future and sustain the individual in one’s life later on. The professor sees himself as a teacher or writer, but the doctor usually does not; the doctor sees himself or herself as a diagnostician or surgeon, but the professor does not. Furthermore, these actions may generalize to broader aspects of the self-concept. For example, it has been discovered that people whose work requires them to exercise autonomy, make their own decisions, and assume responsibility are more likely to emerge with higher global self-esteem. Although we do not always know what lies ahead, there is strength and safety in righteous conduct. Since social identity elements represent important bases of social evaluation, they may influence self-evaluation. We need to organize our lives based of virtue, and chart a right course as we journey toward eternal life. In the conduct of our lives, we learn that good character-building habits mean everything. It is by such behavior that we harvest the real substance and value of life. The way we live outweighs any words we may profess to follow. #RandolphHarris 3 of 8
In every society, people are characteristically ordered along a number of dimensions of stratification, for example, occupational, social class, racial, religious, gender, age, and ethnic. Occupations are arranged in a well-recognized hierarchy of prestige; ethnic preferences (including racial) are surprisingly uniform across broad segments of the society and persist over long periods of time; and so on. Since such stratified positions command unequal social self-esteem, social scientists have tended to take it for granted that those ranking lower in the various status hierarchies would have lower self-esteem than the more favored member of society. However, human beings destined purpose is to conquer all habits, to overcome the evil in humanity and to restore good to its rightful place. The ways of life acceptable to the people of the World are not always acceptable to God. We should conduct ourselves wisely before God and sin not. We should not yield to the persuasion of people with evil intent. The principle of reflected appraisals holds that if others look up to us and treat us with respect, then we will respect ourselves accordingly, but if they derogate or disdain us, then our self-esteem normally depends on the respect of others. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8
Social comparison is at the heart of social evaluation. Bad habits are a reflect of our thoughts and personalities, our behavior and conduct. They are degrading to the choice qualities which are our God-given spiritual endowments of faith, honesty, integrity, and uprightness. Human beings learn about themselves by comparing themselves to others. Evil tendencies destroy character and ruin lives. When first yielding to sin, one’s resistance, self-control, and character are weakened and further transgression usually result. With violation of spiritual laws and rejection of spiritual qualities, our powers of resistance are reduced. Eventually we seem to lose complete control of our ability to resist evil. Imagine the great misery suffered by a person who has practiced a vice for so long that he or she curses it, yet at the same time holds on to it. And that deprived expression of reality is seeking to define life with terrible inadequacy that will revenge itself unto the third and forth generations. Our great challenge is to learn how to control ourselves. We must learn for ourselves and act for ourselves, being careful not to follow those who are not divinely led. We have a responsibility to thwart the work of the evil one—not to assist or perpetuate its cause by yielding to the enticements of sin. #RandolphHarris 5 of 8
With good habits, we prepare ourselves for excellence. Judging the dead is a universal theme, in which evildoers are punished and the good rewarded. Every Ancient Egyptian hoped to be reborn in the afterlife in the image of Osiris, the God of the dead, and to be admitted into his kingdom. However, before this could happen, the deceased had to appear before a divine tribunal, which examined an individual’s conduct on Earth. In the judgment of the dead, the weighing of the heart ritual took place. The deceased was escorted into the tribunal and stood before Osiris, seated on a throne, and a jury of 42 Gods. In the center of the room was the balance, on which the heart would be weighed. First, however, the deceased had to make a negative confession, asserting that he or she had not committed reprehensible acts, was not guilty of evil deeds, or thoughts, and had not acted in defiance of Maat, goddess of truth and justice, or the divine order. The individual then had to repeat this confession before each member of the tribunal. As the heart was about to be weighed, the deceased pleaded with it not to betray nor condemn him or her, a prayer that was often inscribed on the scarab amulet buried with mummified bodies. #RandolphHarris 6 of 8
The heart was then placed on the scales to be weighed against the ostrich feather that symbolized Maat. If the heart brought the scales into balance, the deceased was allowed to access the afterlife. However, if heavy with sin, the heart failed to being the scales into balance, the deceased faced the open jaws of Ammut, the Devourer of the Dead, a netherworld creature that was part crocodile, part lion and part hippopotamus. While we are living, it is important to do good. One cannot truthfully say one is confirmed in his or her bad habits, sins, or weaknesses to the point that they cannot be thrown off and repented of. The human will is naturally inclined toward the right. We are spirit children of God and have born within us the power to overcome all evil practices. We have a gracious, kind, and loving Father in Heaven who stands ready to help us. And the Lord said, “I will bring forth out of darkness unto light all their secret works and their abominations; and except they repent I will destroy them from off the face of the Earth; and I will bring light all their secrets and abominations, unto every nation that shall hereafter possess the land. And now, my child, we see that they did not repent; therefore they have been destroyed, and thus far the word of God has been fulfilled. (Alma 37.26-26).” #RandolphHarris 7 of 8
An individual’s grief, insecure ego, inability to love, shattered dialogue, or entanglement in loneliness traps is also a collective problem for society. Living as we should, obedient and faithful, then we are on our way to the presence of God. Sometimes in life in feels like something is missing and we all want confirmation that we are doing the right thing and pleasing in these eyes of God. When we allow others just to be what he, she, or it is, without imposing our preferences or offering any resistance, the other is no longer something separate over there, apart from me. We are then free to meet and mingle with the other in the open field of awareness, where separate selfhood and otherness dissolve and fade away. Then we discover what it really means to love—to open to others as they are, without imposing our judgments or agendas on the. When the qualities that are desirable in individuals also become universal in the people of a nation, that nation also will have good character. It is a love and practice of all things that are true, honest, l lovely and of good report. #RandolphHarris 8 of 8
Get Out–They Poured Milk Down My Shirt and Put Ham in My Pants!
Improving humanity will happen by applying science to society. There are many prejudices and misunderstandings still lingering from the past. The castration of old days left behind it traditions of punishment, ignominy, and obloquy, at the least of a kind of shameful dishonor, and such notions, it is likely, still largely prevail among the populace and become attached to the new sterilization. How the attitudes of other people affect our self-concepts also depends on which self-concept component is under consideration. A tennis expert may be highly influential in determining our judgments of our tennis skill, but our parents and friends may be more influential in determining our global self-esteem. There is a difference between role-specific significant others (whose opinions are typically significant with regard to a specific aspect of the individual’s role-set), and orientational others (whose opinions are significant in general). To establish a perspective, index role-specific significant others who’s evaluation of you as a student or employee at your job or school concerns you most. Because people should only be evaluating your material and not you personally, although you are expected to be well-behaved and of good hygiene, they have no right to judge your personally to be involved in your personal life. #RandolphHarris 1 of 12
Therefore, the only thing they should have an impact on, when it comes to dealing with you, is your performance in school or work. Unless, of course, part of your job as a student or employee or corporation is to also be a good citizen. To reduce drama or the chance of getting anyone’s feelings hurt, it is important to evaluate these different types of relationships based on qualifying criteria. In an effort to reduce sexual harassment claims, employers usually do not allow employees to fraternize, as it might negatively affect the company and employees socially, financially, and legally. Therefore, it is important to have boundaries. Now, when it comes to orientational significant others, list those persons or groups of people whose evaluation of you as a person concerns you most. Generally, the results will show that, with regard to evaluation of the self in a professional context, respondents tend to mention faculty or manager first, with friends and family members following in that order. However, when asked about the views of others toward the self as a person, friends are most frequently mentioned, followed by family members, with faculty and employers in third place. #RandolphHarris 2 of 12
The impact of others also depends on the degree of crystallization of the self-concept component under consideration. If the component is firmly fixed, others’ views may have little impact; but f it is uncrystallized, we may readily accept the other’s view of ourselves. This point is most evident when bogus qualities are used. When the professors gives us the results of our performance on a test or on a project at work of contrast sensitivity or perceptual discrimination, informing us that we are deficient or superior in this regard, we readily accept the expert judgment of us. The reason is, of course, that we had no performance view of ourselves regarding these qualities. However, the same is true of real but uncrystallized self-concept components. Such is the case, for example, when subjects are asked how good they are at voice control or conveying meaning. Experts’ judgments are easily accepted with reference to qualities on which we have little or no preformulated opinions. It would be far more difficult to convince us, contrary to an established assumption, that we are a fascist or a moron. #RandolphHarris 3 of 12
There is intrinsic value to being. It is what we fundamentally are. Whether we accept the other’s view of us depends in part on whether or not we are motivated to accept it. Given the self-esteem and self-consistency motives, it is evident that we would prefer to internalize optimistic characteristics than negative, and consistent rather than contradictory, attitudes toward the self. There is evidence to suggest that, in the interests of self-esteem and self-consistency, people engage in selective perception of the attitudes of the other and selective attribution of significance. Discovering and eventually resting in this being brings a feeling of deep inner peace and freedom. As we become intimate with this still center within, we feel more connected to all of life. We experience our wholeness firsthand and become lovers of what is—of life as it appears. Our approach to life becomes increasingly less problematic as we accept what comes and allow what goes, grounded in something that feels unchanging in our core. The fluctuations of health, work, and relationships are held in a bigger and more connected space. Selective perception in the service of self-esteem characteristically involves the belief that others think more highly of us than they actually do. #RandolphHarris 4 of 12
There is, in fact, ample evidence of such a self-favorability bias. Virtually every study that has explored the issue finds that people tend to believe that others think more highly of them than these others actually do. Furthermore, the self-consistency motive contributes to people’s tendency to believe that others’ attitudes toward them are congruent with their own. Interpersonal congruency is said to exist when the individual perceives others as attributing to one a trait that one attributes to oneself. This theory was investigated in a study of thirty-one women in a sorority house. Subjects were asked to rank themselves on sixteen paired traits, such as warm-cold, mature-immature, dominant-submissive, and so forth. The subject was asked to indicate the adjectives she thought others would assign to her, those she assigned to herself, and those she assigned to each of the other women. The results showed that the subject overestimated the extent to which others saw her as she saw herself, and that this overestimation was strongest for those women whom the subject liked or interacted with most. People thus tend to believe unduly that others—particularly those they know best—see them as they see themselves. #RandolphHarris 5 of 12
Recognizing and consciously welcoming being into the conventional ritual of modern psychotherapy brings a feeling of shared spaciousness to the therapeutic exploration. People come to relate to their inner and outer lives with more compassionate acceptance and clarity. Selective significance is also enlisted in the service of the self-concept motives. Since significance to those who, we believe, think well (or congruently) of us and to withhold significance from others. The individual is more likely to be influenced by what one believes one’s friends think of him or her than by what one believes his or her nonfriends think of him or her. The net result of this interpersonal selectivity is to attribute greater significance to the opinions of those whose attitudes toward the self are more favorable. That is because our greatest suffering stems from our sense of separation and the feeling or being alone and disconnected from life. One of the beauties is being around people who love, accept, and respect us is that it directly addresses our core need, which is to be loved unconditionally. It also offers an intimate shared shape for us to explore our fears of being open to another being as well as to the whole of life. #RandolphHarris 6 of 12
What empirical research has made evident is that the principle of reflected appraisals, though fundamentally correct, is an approximation. Whether we see ourselves as others see us depends on who these others are; which aspect of the self is under consideration; and whether we are motivated to accept or reject their views. The self we see when viewing ourselves through the eyes of others is thus seen through a glass, darkly. As the old conditioning is gradually processed, integrated, and released, the transpersonal domains of the soul and spirit begin to unfold. Being together offers a simple and elegant way for the self to meet itself in the apparent other. In so doing, we are looking for ourselves in others. Looking for attributes that make us feel more comfortable and complete. However, it is true, and well recognized, that a large number of defective children are the offspring of parents who are not under restraint and approximate to the normal. These parents usually belong to neurotic groups like American gossip-journalism. They are moralist without character, noise-makers in the coffee house, and it is possible to recognize them and to bring social influences to bear on them. #RandolphHarris 7 of 12
Cases constantly occur in which to parents of this kind child after child is born in rapid succession, all more or less defective, one way or another, or even in the same way, as in a family of eight, all ambiguous meatheads and ding bats. A question of frequent debate is how far sterilization should be voluntary and how far regulated by legislation. My own prejudices in this matter have always been strongly on the voluntary side, then there would be no need for abortion or pills that make people gain weight, and they can be free to adopted some of these unwanted children in this overpopulated World. Some surgeons appear to have a nervous terror that if they sterilize they may be doing an illegal act, even if they do so at the wish of the patient, and some legal opinions seem to support it, though it is difficult to see who could dispute a voluntary sterilization, and on what grounds. A law to regulate sterilization, standing by itself, would look like class legislation and be in consequence resented by those who ought to feel, not that a punishment is being inflicted on them, but that a privilege is being brought within their reach. That result is best achieved by the free and open practice of voluntary sterilization among all classes of the community. #RandolphHarris 8 of 12
At the same time, provided that such voluntary sterilization is openly encouraged and practiced, I am now willing to admit that legal facilities may be desirable to bring this method within reach, not only for the poor, who otherwise would not have the means nor the opportunity to secure it, but of the insane and feeble-minded under control, who can legally only give their consent through their nearest relatives, but for whom, alike in their own interest and those of their possible offspring, procreation is undesirable. It is quite possible for such parents to have tolerably normal children, but, with our increased sense of social responsibility, we begin to realize that in so serious a matter no risks must be run here. It is in California that a sterilization law, not indeed entirely admirable, has been most effective, having been applied to many thousands of subjects and worked in a reasonable way. Heredity and eugenics are an extension of natural selection. Improving the genetic makeup of the human population will happen by specifically sterilizing people with genetic defects or undesirable traits, thereby keeping them from reproducing. #RandolphHarris 9 of 12
We need to establish an Executive Secretary of the American Social Hygiene Association. Their mission will be to use public education to promote premarital abstinence, and also promote sex education and birth control. We also need an Institute of Family Relations to bring marriage and family counseling so we can improve the race. Since the family often suffers problems which threaten its stability, we must treat those problems. In other words, we should establish a marriage counseling center where maladjustments might be brought, studied, classified—and helped is possible. Part of this counseling is to encourage fathers to take an active role in their lives of their children. By 2027, the Institute can employ 70 counselors and counsel over 300,000 men, women and children. This was a technique introduced by Dr. Paul Popenoe (1888-19790, he was a Sunday School teacher and a secular humanist. When he was 17, he fainted after eating a steak dinner and became a strict vegetarian long before it was popular. And true to his Victorian roots, he did not believe in any kind of sex outside of marriage, and he was a virgin on his wedding night. He became the marriage counselor to the stars and sessions maintained privacy. #RandolphHarris 10 of 12
In total, 20,108 people were sterilized in the state of California prior to 1964. California had by far the highest number of sterilization in the United States of America (33 percent of all sterilization nationwide). Men and women were sterilized. However, because of the sensitive nature of sterilization records, many are difficult to access or have been altered. This suggests that the total known number of sterilizations may be conservative compared to actual number. Eugenicists in California saw sterilization as a tool with a broad range of applications, all of which were applied to prevent the procreation and overcrowding of state institution and to alleviate fiscal constraints on the state. It has been estimated that the sterilization of 10 percent of the population would produce an appreciably beneficial eugenic effect on the whole nation. Experimental Evolution was a product of the Eugenics Record Office, the first building to be devoted solely to the study of human evolution or race biology. Dr. Charles B. Davenport believed that we needed a social movement that would embody the impulses of racial regeneration and genetic editing to prevent the nations of the World from going bankrupt. The aim: how can we now replace the aim quantity by that of quality? #RandolphHarris 11 of 12
When we grasp that problem in all its branches we see that it is most intimately bound up with our personal lives. And when we recognize how the problem presents itself today we shall realize from the wider human standpoint, having more quality people over quantity is the most vital problem of society. “Behold, I am laboring with them continually; and when I speak the word of God with sharpness they tremble and anger against me; and when I use no sharpness they harden their hearts against it; wherefore, I fear the lest the Spirit of the Lord hath ceased striving with them. For o exceedingly do they anger that it seemeth me that they have lost their love, one towards another; and they thirst after blood for revenge continually. And now, my beloved children, notwithstanding their hardness, let us labor diligently; for if we should cease to labor, we should be brought under condemnation; for we have a labor to perform whilst in this tabernacle of clay, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness, and rest our souls in the Kingdom of God (Moroni 9.4-6).” Grief can take care of itself, but to get full value of a joy, you must have somebody to divide it with. #RandolphHarris 12 of 12
I Have Been Struck by the Way that Most People Finally Say Good-Bye!
The final good-bye does not involve words, almost as if words lone are insufficient to communicate their true feelings. The ideas that people gather over time about what a couple is supposed to be like is derived from overt messages and less direct influences from their family, neighborhood, school, ethnic community, racial, religious, and class identity. Management of feeling and expression enhances the functioning of groups by allowing continuity of action, building solidarity among members, and indicating status differences. Expressive control allows collective action to continue without the situation becoming redefined as the interrupted action or novelty that emotional arousal implies. To further highlight this illustration, expressive control suppresses the potential embarrassment in intimate examinations by a medical professional. Nonemotional voice tines and other nonintimate gestures suppress stress, giving the interaction a routine, technical meaning. A similar display rule in public settings shields onlookers from intimate gestures that would disrupt civil comportment. Kissing, fondling, and other gestures between lovers are normally prohibited in public settings. Intimate expressions remind onlookers that they are being excluded from a desirable relationship. Violators of this display rule are usually the young, tourists, and others who disregard public sensitivity. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7
The most simple and direct type of human communication does not need words. Let us awaken tomorrow with all our zest and seal by embracing and creating life. Sentiment management can build group solidarity. The disruptive effects of envy are controlled universally by belief systems that proscribe envy, and by norms that diminish conditions for envy. These norms require that enviable goods be concealed from observation, that people show humility over good fortune, and that enviable objects or events be shared symbolically or materially. Solidarity can also be enhanced by evocation of humor. Laughter and humor among hospital patents has been observed to be invitations to decrease social distance, emphasizing shared experiences and common definitions of the situation. The liberating effect of joined laughter consists in the consensus that it brings about in a brief span of time. As soon as humans discovered the existence and function of the heart, they recognized that it was influenced by human companionship and love. Most of us have, at one time or another, felt our hearts beating rapidly when we are close to those we love or, occasionally, when we have been offended by others. Many of us have felt our heart sink, as if pressed by some crushing weight, after the loss of loved ones. #RandolphHarris 2 of 7
The psychological impact of suddenly finding oneself a patient in a hospital can be devastating. Lying in bed with needles in one’s arms, tubes in one’s chest recording every heartbeat on a television screen, being forces to use a bedpan, threatened with imminent death, rendered totally helpless and dependent on others—the experience is shattering. As his heart blips ominously on a television screen next to his bed, a patient’s life is reduced to a few essentials. What does it all mean? Is he going to die? Would he have done anything differently? The World of the patient’s wife or children or loved ones is also reduced to a few stark essentials, for the man or woman they visit in such a unit may not be alive the next time they come back. What do you say in such circumstances—what can you sat to help—what is important to communicate? The very existence of units that house people faced with the imminent possibility of death helps outline in stark simplicity certain elementary facts about life. One of those is our basic need to communicate. We ought always to thank God for you, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing. #RandolphHarris 3 of 7
God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you, and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. Assumptions are ideas which one holds to be true without any proof that they are true—things that are taken for granted. Some people are more gifted at living than others. They do have an effect on those around them, but the process stops there because there is no way of describing in technical terms just what it is they do. Expression management is a continual affirmation of a group’s structure of status and deference. We may claim statuses by displaying affective coolness when greater involvement would ordinarily be expected. Some male groups admire men who can attract and conquer a beautiful woman without becoming involved, or who can engage in homosexual prostitution while displaying affective detachment. Business managers are expected to control their emotional reactions, in contrast to ordinary workers who are not believed to be able to do so. The value of humanistic psychology is not limited to the mentally unwell. Its techniques can be useful in your life, but they should not be used to manipulate other people. Psychology can be most useful in helping you to become more fully human. #RandolphHarris 4 of 7
High status includes the power to elicit beneficial and optimistic gestures from subordinates and to inhibit their hostile expressions. Smiling and laughter are usually offered upward in statues hierarchies, ostensibly indicating pleasant, egalitarian relations and concealing status differences temporarily when the later have invited a decrease in social distance. In traditional Far Eastern cultures, a subordinate is expected to conceal anger or sulk when criticized, and to mask these feelings by showing pleasure at being corrected. In contemporary New World societies, women are more likely than men to smile, even when angered or frustrated. Women’s initial facial expression of anger is masked or covered up instantly. Groups manage sentiments through the kinds of information they allow to enter open awareness. Growing numbers of physicians now recognize that the health of the human heart depends not only on such factors as genetics, diet, and exercise, but also to a large extent on the social and emotional healthy of the individual. A fully human person values human beings above material goods, and feels strongly that human rights are far more important than material rights. These also recognize they have a capacity for enjoyment and pleasure, and they try to be real and open in their relationships with others. #RandolphHarris 5 of 7
People who are fully human are willing to risk another person’s reaction to his or her open expression of feelings. They use openness and authenticity, not to manipulate or control, but to share knowledge of oneself with others. Hatred is sustained by emphasizing an enemy’s perceived negative qualities, overlooking or explaining away anything favorable, and then directing hatred toward this contrast conception. Love between parents and their grown children may be strengthened by limited contact that allows earlier conflicts to be forgotten. Generational gaps in attitudes and behavior are accentuated by accurate knowledge about each other, weakening love bonds. Selective recall is sometimes a conscious feeling-management technique. College men reported control over jealousy by prohibiting any mention of their girlfriends’ previous lovers. The couple jointly censured anyone who indiscreetly disclosed information about the woman’s earlier relationships. Sentiments are managed by sensitivity and avoidance within the social framework of memory. “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you to, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders so that you will not be dependent on anybody (1 Thessalonians 4.11).” #RandolphHarris 6 of 7
When faces with danger or the threat of danger, human beings can derive an enormous sense of comfort from their fellow humans. Whether the danger is artificially contrived in a laboratory or part of the infinite variety of real life stresses, human beings instinctively seek out each other’s company in adverse circumstances. In all our distress and persecution, we are encouraged about you because of your faith. For now, we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord. How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you? Night and day, we pray most earnestly that we may see you again and supply what is lacking in your faith. Now may our God and Father himself clear the way for us to come to you. May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you. May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and virtuous in the presence of our God and Father. When someone’s life is in mortal peril, the medical effectiveness of proper care is well documented. Incidence of sudden death dropped by 56 percent in hospitals that are trained to properly treat a person’s symptoms and offer emotional support. Also, it is clear that the heart of human relationships and human love ultimately moves belong anything that can be objectively described or measured. #RandolphHarris 7 of 7
Love and Virtue—Joy to Continue Living Together
God did not call us to be impure, but to live a virtuous life. Therefore, those who reject this instruction does not reject humanity but God, who gives us this virtuous Spirit. For each unsuccessful or incomplete relationship in your past, there are also moments for you to honor. Effective social communication does not require feelings to be consistent with expressive gestures. Displaying a gesture in the absence of any corresponding feeling is a form of obeisance to society, showing that one recognizes the appropriate sentiment even if he or she does not feel it. Mouring is not a natural movement of private feelings, but is a duty imposed by the group. It is a ritual attitude one is forced to adopt out of respect for custom, but which is, in large measure, independent of one’s affective state. While people do feel the loss of an individual when they pass into Heaven, and it can take years to let go of the pain from their departure from Earth, even a lifetime for some, certain cultures are also made to mourn publicly to show respect. For instance, after the passing of her daughter and husband, Mrs. Sarah Winchester was celibate and never remarried, nor did she allow men, who were not her employees, into her mansion. She also wore black and abstained from social functions and kept to herself, she did not even allow photographers or painters to reproduce her image out of respect for her husband. #RandolphHarris 1 of 9
We have been taught by God to love each other. People learn more about themselves from each missed connection, bruised feeling, or wounded heart. These situations are valuable building blocks in the creation of our whole self. The aim of learning through soul is to increase porosity on the side of giving out and to reduce it on the side of taking in. This is not an abstract process, but something that can be seen in the World. Our Sun is the best instance of porosity that gives out and does not take in. Our Sun is a star, and all the stars gives out without taking in, until they die and become a blackhole. Life is the most beautiful and precious thing upon the Earth and has the power to pull down kings and princesses. Western civilization has been described as the gradual domestication of impulsive expression—an increasing tendency to self-consciously check our behavior and mold it to group standards. Public expression of affect has been controlled by an intensifying range and rigor of restraints since the Middle Ages. Violations of display rules are met with shame, embarrassment, and disgust in an ever-broadening scope of situations. People are free and all things are given to them which are expedient to humanity. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through God. #RandolphHarris 2 of 9
For middle-class parents, deviant and immature temper may signal serious difficulty in an individual’s attempt at self-mastery. Colonial Americas believed that feeling can be channeled, but its basic nature cannot be altered. Social control was directed at regulating behavior, rather than at shaping inner impulses. A belief that emotion is disclosed involuntarily and inevitably became widespread in the nineteenth century. If a person were genuinely moved, the feeling would show beyond any power of the person to conceal it. Withdrawal from feeling itself became the only recourse, if one’s feelings were not to be read by others in public through gestures, slips in speech, and other cues. Suppression of both feeling and gestures made them consistent. These cultural values and beliefs are reflected in expression and feeling management when we indicate their meaning to the social self. And not choose eternal death, according to the will of the flesh and the evil which is therein, which gives the spirit of the adversary power to captivate, to bring you down to hell, that he may reign over you in his own kingdom. Soul learning does not consist of the internalization of knowledge, the determination of right mean, the achievement of accuracy, but is to be found in what sounds right. #RandolphHarris 3 of 9It was discovered in ancient psychology that the soul sings. At one time, it was possible to hear celestial sounds as one viewed the aurora borealis, which the solar particles blown into the Earth’s magnetic field more than 60 miles above the Earth’s surface. The movement of the planets in their relation to each other could be heard. We manage our feelings and gestures after indicating to ourselves the probable meaning that they would have for other people. We transform feeling and expression according to their implications for our self-conception, our more stable, continuous, unifying idea of the real me. A self-conception is a working compromise between one’s ideals and values and the self-images one infers from how others react to one’s feelings and behavior. Some self-images will be accepted as representative of one’s self-conception, but other images will be rejected as spurious or unrepresentative of one’s real, deeper identity. In situations and relationships that we value in relation to self, we pursue credit for optimistic images, and seek to avoid responsibility for feelings and acts that generate negative self-images. #RandolphHarris 4 of 9
We manage expression and feeling by taking our self-conception into account in at least three ways: assuming or avoiding responsibility for a sentiment, detecting social support for the meaning of a sentiment, and committing oneself to a relationship. Our-self image in a situation reflects the appropriateness of our feeling; we feel proud or guilty about feeling a certain way. The incongruity between a trifling event and a deep sense of shame can evoke a double shame; we are ashamed because of the original episode and shame because we feel so deeply about something so slight that a sensible person would not pay any attention to it. If we do not modify our feelings into an appropriate quality and intensity, it becomes merged with our moral reaction to it. For example, we may feel guilty love if, as in traditional Japan, love marriages are defined as selfish. Even in modern Japan, individuals who have contracted love marriages are often reported to feel considerable guilt about it. However, keep in mind, you are the author and can go back to check out all the separate parts of your story when you need to. Reviewing old relationships is hard work emotionally, no matter how carefully one has been trying to use the past as material to study in the service of creating a healthier present. #RandolphHarris 5 of 9
Society requires us to undertake many actions for which we do not want to assume full responsibility. These actions may have uncertain outcomes, or conflict with our predispositions not to perform them. Feeling management that intensifies feeling can facilitate these behaviors while shielding the self from responsibility. A functionally determined emotion carries one through the situation, such as the bitterness which enters into the divorce process and so often disappears just afterwards. The institutionalized irrationality of romantic love overcomes self-restraint in courtship and guides lovers into marriage, although rational self-seeking might dictate against this certain commitment. A socially structured and legitimated passion conquers doubt and gives behavior spontaneity, while exempting the self from full responsibility for its outcome. How does this intensification of feeling occur? Emotion is the experience of passivity, during which we interpret our behavior as being beyond our control. Deeply internalized desires and aversions erupt as compelling passions. The soldier for whom fury or courage has become second nature rushes into combat in spite of its dangers. #RandolphHarris 6 of 9
Overwhelmed by emotion, we enact socially prescribed punishment even through other norms forbid aggression. The self is not held responsible for violating those norms, however, because it was passive within the experience of emotion. The passive self may be an important interpretation we make within romantic love, jealousy, indignation, and other intense sentiments. For example, a study found that students who believed that life events are generally caused by external forces beyond their control reported falling in love more often than others, and viewed love as a mysterious, emotional experience. However, there are consequences. Samantha, for instance, learned her lesson about lack of self-control. She grew more self-blaming when she began to watch herself distancing from Darren. She had fled from her first marriage to escape the burden of being forced to be a mother to her husband. Her leaving reinforced her growing image of herself as hard-hearted and unfair. However, she had not adequately resolved her decision to leave her first marriage, so her self-blame became almost immobilizing as she felt herself pulling away from Darren. Moreover, the self also enters into feeling and expression management by restraining sentiments that we anticipate would not be validated meaningfully by a particular person or group. #RandolphHarris 7 of 9
By fully engaging in almost any form of group or community, we will have more people to learn from, people whose actions and ways of being can teach us a lot about relationships. This can be particularly helpful when one has been stuck in a narrow, little emotional room filled with our solitary thoughts about closeness, or when we have been limiting oneself to the thoughts and beliefs contained within our couple relationship. In some cultures, jealousy is nothing short of a crime. Some societies have a code, and if one is hurt in these light affairs, one must expect no sympathy. So, if one falls in love, one conceals it from one’s friends as best one can. Our self-indication of a sentiment’s meaning to others may lead us to segregate it from another sentiment that an audience would see as being incompatible. For example, Samantha and Darren were undergoing marital separation, and much like others, they desired to re-unit, at least temporarily, but they also wanted to express anger against one another. A common pattern that has been observed was couples would meet secretly to express affection, concealed from the social circle of kin and friends who had observed the bitter rivalry in the couple and would not understand the contradictory sentiment. That is why it is best for us to stay out of people’s business when they have a dispute. #RandolphHarris 8 of 9
Feeling management may reflect the self as a commitment to a relationship the supplementary character of faithfulness is directed toward the continuance of the relationship, independently of the original forces that brought it about. Communes, families, fraternal organizations, and other groups require love as a voluntary, responsible commitment to enhance the lives and growth of other persons. Groups foster love by eliminating sources of seduction, subversion, and competing loyalties. Love is routinized to promote steady, unrewarded care, effort, and self-sacrifice. People withdraw from commitments by rationing or restricting feeling. Women, more than men, report diminishing their love consciously in faltering relationships. Women also identify more problems in their heterosexual relationships, and women’s scores on a longitudinal measure of love predict relationship outcomes better than do the love scores of their male partners. The more vulnerable and emotionally perceptive partner is likely to modulate feeling more consciously in response to relationship trends. “It is God’s will that we should be sanctified: that we should avoid sexual immorality; that each of us should learn to control our own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like a heathen, who does not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong their family nor take advantage of them. The Lord will punish people for all such sins, as we have already told you (1 Thessalonians 4.3-4).” #RandolphHarris 9 of 9
Keeping His Covenant to Love a Thousand Generations
We evoke, suppress, and transform our sentiments. It reminds me of that song by 24hrs called What You Like. “I would not mind if you stay the night. Send your first and last name for the flight. Don’t confuse me with all the hype. I’m your type, I know what you like. On the Instagram I see all the likes.” Instagram is a social media site where people post pictures on like a rotisserie, and as you move along the rotisserie of pictures, you can scroll past or like them. If you are not readily curious about other people, be patient with yourself. There are powerful reasons why you have not been able to protect and develop your natural capacity for curiosity. As we become more aware of ourselves as individual, in noncouple relationships, this allows us to develop awareness about ourselves in how we connect with friends, family, children, parents, siblings, coworkers, and others and this is an important part of learning who we are successfully. Be just and walk uprightly before God; and observe to do good continually, keep the commandments of the Lord our God. God never made a promise that was too good to be true. Know that God is faithful, keeping his covenant to love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments. #RandolphHarris 1 of 5
Expression management is the intentional display of gestures that differ from inner feeling. Feeling management modifies the cognitive and somatic experience of a sentiment. Both types of affective control are guided by normative and strategic considerations in social relationships. For example, a wife may believe that she no longer loves her husband as much as she thinks she should. She may increase her expressions of affection toward him so as to conceal her loss of feeling (individual expression management), or may try to regenerate her love feelings by thinking about his virtues and his love for her (individual feeling management). If she tells him that her love is waning, they may decide to just keep up public appearances of affection (collective expression management), or may attempt to revitalize love by seeking new experiences together (collective feeling management). Expression management is guided by conscious strategies to convey a certain impression of ourselves to a social audience, and by our more habitual following of display rules, cultural norms for appropriate expressions in a given situation. #RandolphHarris 2 of 5
Expression control can be observed even in one-year-old children, who make visible efforts to hold back tears or who smile as a social greeting. Four-year-olds can pose facial expressions upon request and are soon able to explain many norms about situational appropriate affective expression. We often qualify a facial expression by adding a further expression as a comment on the first, such as blending a smile into an angry look. We also modulate a facial expression, show more or less intensity than we actually feel. We falsify our facial expressions in several ways. We may simulate a feeling when we have none. We may show an impassive, neutral face to conceal an inner feeling. Finally, we often mask an expression that we do feel with another expression that we do not feel. This typology may be extended to the analysis of nonfacial gestures, voice tones, postures, and other expressive cues. Failures to communicate successfully in past relationships can cause people to set up rigid rules for their new relational efforts. This can happen when someone feels inadequate, attacked, or betrayed in an earlier relationship. We modify our interpretations of a relationship and may also alter our bodily sensations and reactions to the person. #RandolphHarris 3 of 5
Affectivity versus affective neutrality is a choice faced by individual and groups in forming a given relationship. When should impulses be gratified freely, and when should they be subordinated to social interest? Normative and strategic considerations induce us to reflect upon feeling and alter it. In an experimental study, subjects used strategies of cognitive detachment or involvement to self-regulate their affective reactions to filmed stressful situations, and thus altered their bodily reactions, such as heart rate and skin conductance. We all have certain images of ourselves or stories we tell to ourselves and others about who we are. Usually, this is a combination of who we want to be and who we really are. Sometimes, we also tell the story of ourselves in a very negative light, emphasizing what we cannot do, or what we always do wrong, or the mistakes we have made and cannot let go of. Perhaps many of us do not know what we are feeling in our conscious mind, but our body tell us by creating physical pain, jumpiness, numbness, or others signs of distress. However, our bodies are also designed to let us know when we are starting to get comfortable with a new idea or behavior or interaction. This may be indicated by a pleasant sensation of our muscles relaxing, or an overall sensation of lightness. #RandolphHarris 4 of 5
Feeling rules are social guidelines that delineate a range of appropriate feeling for a situation or relationship. For example, a brother should love or like his sister, but should feel neither hatred nor romantic passion toward her. We discuss our feelings as if rights and obligations apply to them, and react with approval r disapproval to signs of each others’ feelings. We try to make our feelings coincide with feeling rules by doing cognitive, bodily, or expressive work. If we have no reason to feel ashamed in front of a person, for example, we may try to change our imagination of how they thing of us (cognitive), or try not to wince inside when we see them coming (bodily), or try not to look away or blush as they pass us (expressive). Some people use an idealized past relationship to keep all the possible later partners at a distance. This is often the case when one person finds another person like oneself, and experiences playing hard to get maneuvers as a way to stay safe and because it is tantalizing. Both during and after the relationship, the couple may idealize everything about the former partner, and the relationship without recognizing that what they are idealizing is the perfect mirror image. God will finish what he started and it may be a good idea to hold on and wait for your gold standard. #RandolphHarris 5 of 5
Life is but a Walking Shadow
Beauty is no quality in things themselves: It exists merely in the mind which contemplates them; and each mind perceives a different beauty. One person may even perceive deformity, where another is sensible of beauty; and every individual ought to acquiesce in one’s own sentiment, without pretending to regulate those of others. One will notice that the psychological state of a person in an attitude of reflection is entirely different from that of a person who is observing one’s psychic process. In reflection there is a greater play of psychic activity than in the most attentive self-observation; this is shown even by the tense attitude and the wrinkled brow of the person observing himself or herself. Facial, gestural, and postural expressions of certain emotions are universal and biologically determined, the product of human evolution. These expressive acts formerly had functional utility as internal adjustments needed in emergencies and as signals to one’s own species, enemies, and prey. For example, clenching one’s jaw in anger is a preparation for, and a warning of, biting. Emotional expressions are basically continuous between human beings and lower animals, but have lost their functional utility for humans and survive as remnants of evolution. #RandolphHarris 1 of 7
An emotion is a sequence of cognitive appraisal, feeling, impulses to act, and overt behavior that has evolved to cope with the environmental stimulus that triggers the emotion. Destruction of barriers is enhanced by anger, for example, and the avoidance of harmful substances s promoted by disgust. All species have the same basic emotions behaviorally, but the subjective element increases in higher species. Basic emotions combine into mixed emotions. Thus, contempt is a mixture of anger and disgust. Embarrassment also protects social norms. Wen norms conflict, a person’s embarrassment draws blame onto oneself and away from the norms. This temporary sacrifice of identity shows that one is perturbed about one’s current performance, promises to improve, and recognizes the norms. Sentiments should be analyzed for the adaptive functions they serve for groups and for individuals within a group. An emotion is the outcome and not the cause of bodily reactions. Bodily changes directly follow the perception of the exciting fact, and our feeling of the same changes as they occur is the emotion. This is the spirit that beauty must every induce: wonderment and a delicious trouble, longing and love and a trembling that is all delight. #RandolphHarris 2 of 8
Each emotion is distinguished in our awareness by its unique physiological correlate, a distinctive pattern of change in the heart, lungs, tear ducts, and other organs. We do not tremble because we are afraid; rather, we are afraid because we tremble. Visceral changes do contribute to emotional intensity. The face not only expresses emotion, but also stimulates a corresponding feeling. Unlike the viscera, facial expressions could therefore stimulate differentiated and immediate emotions. Evidence currently suggests that facial expression can influence emotional intensity, but, as with the viscera, discrete qualities of emotion are not produces. Facial expressions also have been studied for evidence of an innate, universal set of human emotions. In a typical study, photographs of posed facial expression representing selected emotions are shown to subjects in different cultures. Subjects agree substantially in matching each photograph with a label chosen from a short list of emotions. There are distinctive facial expressions for anger, disgust, fear, sadness, happiness, surprise, and possibly other emotions, researchers conclude, and each emotion is expressed the same universally. #RandolphHarris 3 of 8
Is Heaven a physician? They say that God can heal; but medicine posthumous is unavailable. Is Heaven an exchequer? They speak of what we owe; but that negotiation I am not a party to. There is not one special kind of purposive activity in which we expect a person to engage just because the individual is overjoyed or embarrassed. There are typical overt expressions of these emotions such as broad expansive movements and squirming, respectively. However, it seems that American society is becoming to loose and relaxed, and even mature adults in some industries are not as professional as they used to be. With the globalization, it is important that we try to be more careful with the messages that we send out. We should encourage peace and dialogue. Also, the cartoon faces in electronic messages is concerning. Certain hand gestures or contorted faces might be offensive to some cultures, as they are not necessarily universal. Also, in kindergarten, it might have been normal to give a student a simile face sticker or a star sticker on an assignment they did well on, but that might be considered condescending to do the same thing when sending a message to an adult. When we doubt whether the intensity or quality of our emotion is situationally appropriate, we define it by comparing ourselves with how others in a similar situation are reacting. #RandolphHarris 4 of 8
As often happens, it is small things—small yet significant—which enables us to grasp the reality of change. It is the minute points which fascinate us, for they enable us to realize profound differences in the attitude of other people compared with our own. When people lack an explanation for their sensations, these subjects tend to feel and behave emotionally according to emotional cues displayed by another person in the situation. We interpret our emotion reactions not only be seeing how other react, but also by observing our own behavior. However, with collective behavior, a group of people can come together, who are misfits because they have deviant behaviors, and become the norm, and the people who fit (with the national goal) end up becoming minorities because a counterculture has taken over. Competitive relationships, where each person or group poses an obstacle to others’ goal attainment, often generate disjunctive sentiments such as a strong dislike. Sometimes when people communicate and define social unrest, which develops over disturbances in their usual form of living or from events that cannot be explained by existing cultural definitions, sentiment take on greater significance in guiding behavior. When a family’s task bonds are ineffective, love rises into mutual awareness, often sustaining the relationship until other bonds can once again stabilize the attachment. #RandolphHarris 5 of 8
Relationship beginnings are characterized by high levels of stimulation. We are highly conscious of the other person and the sentiment that is developing toward him or her. Beginnings of romances, for example, pose a choice among alternative love partners. Anxious tension accompanies each new romantic involvement, contributing to passion. In order to infer that I am jealous, I must perceive that I feel aroused, attribute this feeling to someone’s threat to my love relationship (and not to some internal cause or other external cause), and decide that a twinge of jealousy is normal and appropriate in this situation. All human activities lead to personal growth and creativity are accompanied by a type of tension or excitement. Physiological studies have revealed certain disturbances in normal bodily functioning as regular features of emotional states. These include increased adrenalin secretion, increased heartbeat, alteration of the distribution of blood to various parts of the body, changes in patters of respiration, suspension of digestive activities, and increases in red corpuscles in the blood. It is these changes which are manifested in the involuntary overt expressions of emotion which have long been noted—paling, blushings, panting, trembling, and so on. And it is the sensation of these changes or some of their results which constitutes the felt disturbance or perturbation characteristic of emotion. #RandolphHarris 6 of 8
Because the ideology surrounding romance describes anxious tension as part of the experience, the sentiment is recognized when these sensations occur. Passionate feelings can be stimulated by sources other than direct attraction, such as guilt, loneliness, and sharply lowered self-esteem. These increase arousal which is attributed to the potential romantic partner in the same setting. Arousal may be interpreted as undeniable evidence for the continued vitality of a sentiment. We learn that romantic love requires frequent reiteration of its intensity to self and the partner. This testing for latent feeling may also occur in other passionate sentiments such as hatred, jealousy, and religious feeling. Heightened self-monitoring may itself generate or intensify arousal, as an anxious tension accompanying the repeated search for spontaneous feeling, but mainly when one expects to find heightened arousal. Love may be validated by shared excitement, quarrels and reconciliations, intimacy, and other episodes of intense feeling. Parental opposition to their college-age children’s love affairs was found to be associated with more intense attachment between the lovers. Emotional turmoil may have contributed to the lovers’ passion. Jealousy may be interpreted as evidence of a partner’s continued love. #RandolphHarris 7 of 8
A study found that woman were told to avoid situations which might make her husband jealous, but to interpret his small expression of jealousy as evidence of his love. Arousal is not simply the source of a sentiment, then, but also a criterion by which its continuity can be validated. Dear Lord in Heaven, please wrap us in your love. Snuggle up tight, warm with forgiveness, safe in your light. Draw near to us and hold safe in your arms, melt any resentment, protect us from harm. Refining these impatient ores with hammer and with blaze, until the designated light repudiates the forge. How many Legions overcome? God, please completely take us under your wing, come and transform us and teach us unending love, pure truth, and sweet promise. Please heal all the hurt and pain until we become soft in your presence again so that we may give love and find love and freedom again. Dear God, loving essence of all there is. Please fill us with your sacred presence. Grant us your love and guidance and blessing as we explore the deep reaches of our hearts. We ask for your assistance in releasing that which stands in the way of true love. Our hearts our pure, our intentions are clear. Please bring us to our perfect partners. “And also, the Lord will remember the prayers of the righteous, which have been put up onto him for them (Mormon 5.21).” #RandolphHarris 8 of 8
Faith Loves and Knows the One Who is Leading
Dimly swings this atom of a World, and far beyond all reaches the infinity of God! Necessity compels us to be earnest. We do not simply feel and express a sentiment, but also interpret, socialize, evaluate, and modify it according to our beliefs and assumptions about it. A sentiment is a general feeling, attitude, or opinion about something. The goal is to awaken us to that which is more than we can comprehend, for all that we will never fully understand it. We must be like immortals insofar as possible and do everything toward living in accordance with the best thing in us. Love is the name given to the desire to seek out that which we sense we lack. A sentiment vocabulary also provides culturally meaningful categories for interpreting one’s own sensations and behavior. Sentiments are explanations in self-perception, as well as for other people. A vocabulary of sentiments facilitates and limits the kinds of meanings we can experience for our sensations, gestures, and social relationships. A correct judgment avoiding all distant and high enquiries, confines itself to common life, and to such subjects as fall under daily practice and experience, leaving the more sublime topics to the embellishment of poets and orators, or to the arts or priests and politicians. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
Tease me all you want for being sentimental. I think some souls have a way of connecting without our knowledge, and that is why you cannot meet someone for the first time, but inside you just know. You know it is not the first time you have ever felt them. A vocabulary of sentiments is a selection from the entire potential range of emotional experiences by specialized emphasis. The name for a sentiment is a kind of sensitizing concept. In German Schadenfreude, or malicious glee over another’s misfortune, is more easily recognized as a common feeling by virtue of the presence of them. The vocabulary defines our sensations and gestures by naming them, showing us what these mean to other people. Ideological beliefs about a sentiment are linked with its name in the vocabulary. Like an ideology, these beliefs protect the social reality of a sentiment as a meaningful category, explaining and justifying particular instances of interaction in terms of popular knowledge about the sentiment. For instance, how does one recognize envy? Or what are the rights and obligations of friendship? Is shame natural or learned? Does romance inevitably fade into companionate love? Is it possible to conceal real grief? One who has been wandering in a maze of false conceptions, and upon whom, at length, has burst the truth of God’s paternity, opens one’s Bible as a new book. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
The word of God will spread around one a firmament of sudden glory, and reveals to one’s eyes unexpected riches. Pains from the moral source are the pains derived from the unfavorable sentiments of humankind. These pains are capable of rising to a height with which hardly any other pains incident to our nature can be compared. No sentiments can be beautiful without being proper; that is, suited to the character and situation of those who utter them. It is not contended that people learn precise definitions or complex formal principles about each sentiment, but they do learn informal theories or folk wisdom. Communication about the sentiment in terms of these popular beliefs preserves each sentiment as an available resource for explaining interaction. More elaborate ideologies surround some sentiments than others. Romantic love has an extensive popular ideology, and religious doctrines explain and justify guilt, reverence, and compassion. In contrast, shame and pity seem to be relatively undefined in our society at present. The vocabulary also includes evaluative beliefs about each sentiment that influences how we express, label, and identify sentiments. Is pride a mark of self-worth, or one of the seven Christian sins? Depending on social group, esthetic feeling may be a sign of personal cultivation or aloof snobbery. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
Our response to a person who reveals or claims a sentiment depends partly on evaluative beliefs about the feeling. People are encouraged to interpret certain mixed feelings as love because our culture insists that certain reactions are acceptable one if one is madly in love. In contrast, envy may be a universally condemned and feared sentiment that few people seriously admit. The vocabulary within which we communicate about sentiments places boundaries on affective experience, confining it largely to socially significant, shared meanings. The vocabulary within which we communicate about sentiments places boundaries on affective experience, confining it largely to socially significant, shared meanings. Reason, utility, fear of punishment and love of praise may all lead us to behave in appropriate ways, but they are not definitive of human nature. We do not attribute to the springs of a watch its coming into being or ability to keep good time. These belong to the watchmaker. Similarly, the wisdom of God, rather than human reason or social learning, is the origin of human nature and the ultimate purpose of human life is nobler than the simple maintenance of social order. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
The administration of the great system of the Universe is the care of the Universal happiness of all rational and sensible beings, is the business of God and not of humans. To humans is allotted a much humbler department, one much more suitable to the humbleness of one’s powers, and to the narrowness of one’s comprehension. Sentiment is a different combination of a social relationship and cultural beliefs with emotional sensations and gestures. Social factors determine which component is most salient at a given time. We become highly aware of bodily sensations when we are physiologically aroused. A set of spiritual exercises is designed to incite dedication to moral purity among humanity. Sensations may also become problematic by their absence. Gestures become salient when their meaning is challenged, when we are being socialized into expression, and when we must express deliberately what is not spontaneously felt. How do compassion, sorrow, and other sentiments in a cultural vocabulary become capacities and resources of the individual? The deeper our moral life and the keener our spiritual vision, the clearer appears his truth. Wisdom, justice, truth, and power—it kindles in the soul a loftier and serener spirit of devotion, touches spring of penitence, and makes us good because God is good. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
We may thank God that we can feel pain and know sadness, for these are the human sentiments that constitute our glory as well as our grief. Another process is the management of expression and feeling according to norms and other social constraints. How do people suppress, magnify, and alter their gestures, feelings, and interpretation of a sentiment? If God is the beginning of all things, he is, in a peculiar sense, the beginning of our religion. Our highest endeavors after virtue will be attempts to imitate him. Our decisions upon specific questions of right and wrong will be governed by our conceptions of the Divine nature. We shall religiously cherish the sentiments of which God is the absolute expression. It is what we say to God alone, of ourselves, upon the revelation of his Fatherhood, and with our thoughts fixed in contemplation of his attributes. The father has swept away all the barriers of distance, it has streamed into our soul through all the glories of the Universe, it has touched us with the intimate nearness, the infinite condescension of God, and gathered into that one name all that is venerable with all that is lovely. Let us habitually avail ourselves, then, the privilege made known to us. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
That there is an Invasion of my Privates
A new high in lowness. Prejudice is a social attitude propagated among the public by exploiting class for the purpose of stigmatizing some group as inferior so that the exploitation of either the group itself or its resources or both may be justified. People are generally exploited in hard economic times or competitive economic situations or in periods of major socioeconomic change—bringing special trouble; and corporations or individuals may have profited (commercially, agriculturally, economically, legally, and so on) at the expense of an underrepresented group or individual. The structure would produce the kind of alienation from human identity (alienation of human from human) that is expressed not only in economic terms and not only among the subjugated classes. The person is also estranged from the essential source of identity and if purpose for the human species by making one concerned for their safety and unable to trust former connections or new ones, as they tend to be frustrating and unsatisfying. Scapegoating (the practice of singling out any party for unmerited negative treatment or blame) is used to explain the flow of hostility toward the underrepresented individual under conditions of economic stress. #RandolphHarris 1 of 6
A wishing of misfortune upon an individual, is one step short of hating them. Ill will can manifest emotions like contempt, jealousy, envy, and schadenfreude (the emotion of taking pleasure in others’ suffering). When one is carrying ill will toward another, they may not look aggressive, but feel it and emanate it (however subtly), reducing the target to something less than human. Relative deprivation is another oppressive method used by oppressors. They make sure the person has a lack of resources to sustain the diet, lifestyle, activities and amenities that the individual is accustomed to or that is widely encouraged or approved in the society to which they belong. That makes the person not only feel alienated, but as if they not worthy because no matter what they do the individual cannot seem to advance in life. So, an individual is not only enduring poverty, but also facing social exclusions. Relative deprivation has important consequences for both behavior and attitudes, including fear, stress, political attitudes, and participation in collective action. People generally operate so as to maximize their own self-esteem. The individual’s sense of personal mastery over life circumstances is one important ingredient for the achiever. #RandolphHarris 2 of 6
The sense of low self-control is generated by extensive prejudice and discrimination and is a significant element in mobility behavior. One can have control over themselves and gain empowerment by having faith in God, and putting actions behind what one believes in. Demonstrate your faith by knowing that you are a child of God and no matter what circumstances you are facing, you are still worthy of life and worthy of achieving your dreams. God will open doors and create new opportunities and you will have the strength to do what you could not always do. God will show you his favor in unusual ways. Find the dreams in your heart, and keep them in mind every day knowing that they will become a reality. Know that God will comfort your souls, and give unto you success and also those who are with you will experience success. God will grant the strength to bear afflictions, whether they be internal or social. Our souls are precious to God and many people have things in common with us and we will eventually be encouraged and empowered in society. There is a natural power that comes from being a human being. Find your voice and authority to exercise the empowerment that you naturally have. #RandolphHarris 3 of 6
Keep a healthy attitude about life so that you have the requisite competence and clarity to make successful decisions. As we exercise our faith in God, he will lift us up and carry us through all our trials and, ultimately, save us in the celestial kingdom. Do not be sidetracked from achieving your new goals. Harness your faith in God and adopt a healthy lifestyle. The human mind is an exception to otherwise Universal natural laws, as a thing that is conscious, that is capable of good and evil, or that can be an uncaused cause of action. Humans strive to experience their desires, human freedom, and the expressions of the power of God. Patience preserves pace of the mind in the face of injury, suffering, and sadness. It prevents us from being discouraged—from losing courage. The patient person, therefore, possess a great freedom. One is free to stay in course with one’s life and fulfill one’s responsibility, even when things are difficult. Courage enables us to persist firmly against difficulties. The power of the subconscious mind, when it becomes aware of one’s goal, it provides the means to reject a particular characteristic or adopt it, if it is consistent with our goal attainment. #RandolphHarris 4 of 6
Our natural drive to achieve, along with our urge to move forward and be out front on the issues, tends to appeal to those who are leaders and bearing responsibility for their own visions, goals, objectives, and expected outcomes. Have a willing commitment, communicate with confidence, courage, and obvious intelligence characterized by determination and resilience. People are born with traits that can be cultivated in the direction of leadership. However, there is no doubt that leadership can be cultivated. The characteristics of leadership, necessarily has to have certain decisiveness and confidence comes from knowledge based on studies and training. The fundamental thing is your basic knowledge, the development of your mind, and your ability to apply this knowledge as you go along in life. There are no mistakes in life; there are only lessons. Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great. With internal discipline there goes together a whole set of moral traits, among others perseverance, conscientiousness, and planning one’s actions. Perseverance enables one to reflect—at length strenuously, and patiently—on some selected issues. This reflection helps to overcome discouragement, apathy, self-indulgence, or laziness. #RandolphHarris 5 of 6
Be mentally awake! Every work – and especially a scholarly one—calls for a rationally thought-out regularity, planned action, correctness, order and harmony, to avoid sliding into chaos. Exactness and conscientiousness is important so one can finish all details without leaving any gaps or bundling, and as such is the opposite of superficiality. Dear God, thank you for all of our blessings and help us to welcome challenges in our lives. Please give us the strength to persevere in them. When we are feeling weak, tired or discouraged, please help us to remember we depend on you, God. God, also please bless this great nation, for its people and government as well. Bless humanity and the beautiful creatures and environment you have created. May we take better care of ourselves and our planet. We ask for forgiveness for any disobedience, laziness of spirit and lack of faith. God remembers the dreams he placed in our heart. Get your passion back and know that things will work out to your favor. God is going to finish what he started. Forgiveness is the economy of the heart. Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits. Bless it be. #RandolphHarris 6 of 6
Randolph Harris II International 