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It is a Wonderful Life
Early love is frequently ambitious in choosing its object. People may love you for your body or name, but your face and eyes are the beautiful talents that brought you to fame. You are thunder and lightning before the rainstorm. Although it is a glimmer, it arouses my courage to wrestle with wind and rain. Glorious histories do not limit you today. Ages do not become your constraint for your aims for the far future. We are not wise in the contempt of others, but in calm approbation of ourselves–it shows the wisdom and tolerance of the star. The most perfect being, you are, and with love life will bloom. Never judge the heart of a wit by the tongue. Be wise, and that wisdom shall be a God unto thee; be contented, and that is thy Heaven. I see a crystal-like heart through your blue eyes and blonde hair. When I stumbled and required supporting, who told me beautiful stories and walked me through the park, kissing my hurt—you. It takes years and maturity to make the discovery that the power of faith is nobler than the power of doubt; and that there is a celestial wisdom in the ingenuous propensity to trust, which belongs to honest and noble natures.
May my blessing be your clean spring for your thirsty heart on this voyage, sweet comfort when you have trouble and beautiful flowers at your victory meeting. With your love and my affection, we will build an impeccably happy life. There is still beauty in the World. What you do not see in yourself, others see in you, you do matter. You will remember today as your darkest day, and tomorrow better, and the day after better still, you will go on. Let the Sun and blue Sky, clouds wake up the hidden memory, several words in the letter bring my regards to the faraway lover. In this silvery World, the white snowflakes are my missing and blessing for you, the angels of the snow. How brilliant and tender is the moon on the night when you bid the moon a goodnight. Only someone with a tender heart would say such a kind thing to the diamond in the sky. May your life be filled with happiness and ecstasy. The World was made for you. In this society, we must have something to endure, as well as to enjoy. My affairs are in the hands of him who guides the planets in their course, and who causes the Sun to shine.
They first think of the Sun when the people surprise at bright color of rainbow. I first think of you when I open my eyes. Divine understanding attends me on the way, and I shall not be hindered in my work. My affairs are controlled by perfect intelligence, and cannot be hindered from expression. I know that all that I do is done from the one motive: to express life; and love will be expressed in and through me. I cannot hinder it. I am controlled by intelligence. We are all very much alike when we are in our first love. Perfect love has a breath of poetry which can exalt the relations of the least-instructed human beings. Love is a stronger passion than vanity. I am inspired in my work from on high with lofty ideals, and my thought is illumined by the all-knowing one. May your Christmas be filled with special moment, warmth and happiness, the joy of loved ones near, and may the blessing of the day last throughout the year. Love dissolves all fear, casts out all doubt and sets the captive free. The poems are the words I want to speak to you. I am missing you silently. Keep the best things in memory and give you my blessings. I wish you a happy New Year and a merry Christmas. Love is in all things a most wonderful teacher. We have been so blinded by thinking and feeling that we have never seen the World. The purer the beauty, the more it will be out of the World. Endless love and blessing for you. You are the most cherishable Christmas present and everything to me forever.
Secrets and Lies—Never Mind Love
Love is involuntary. He was a man who might be loved; –but he was hardly a man for love. Why do people fight battles that they cannot win? Why do people persist when the odds are against them? Ben Crawford is expected to fail; he is given little hope of victory. Usually, when people are facing challenges, support for them increase, expect if they are accused of a crime. What inspires Ben Crawford to stand up for what he believes in, while staring death in the face? One night when Ben awakes on the couch, Scott Murphy is standing above him and threaten to kill him if he does not go to prison. Many people feel empathy for Ben and want to see his named cleared because they feel like he is a victim of injustice. When Ben, Dave and his family are setting up the Christmas lights in the house, Ben goes to the truck, and finds a flashlight with blood on it and he hides it in his garage. To hide the flashlight, Ben wraps it in a gift box like a Christmas present. This is an attempt to hide evidence out of fear that he will be punished. Individual at the preconventional level judge the morality of an action by its direct consequences. Ben’s primary motive is to conceal the evidence, as he is being framed for murder, and buy time to figure out who killed his son, Tom Murphy. Those are heroic-seeming actions because this is not just to avoid punishment, but to give an innocent soul peace. Ben Crawford is confronted with how long a person can tolerate oppression and suffering. Despite the threats of death, suffering, and lack of compassion, Ben has found a cause worthy of elevating his courage, convictions, and virtues. His purpose is to serve the greater good. Meanwhile, detective Cornell confronts Ben about how he called Jess, Tom Murphy’s mother, the night Tom was killed. Ben admits he mistakenly called a wrong number and left an ominous voicemail, now in detective Cornell’s possession. To make matters worse, Ben cannot remember what he did the night of Tom’s death.
What are the specific strength and virtues of psychology that can be attributed to standing against tyranny at all costs, and are these character strengths exhibited by Ben Crawford? Two significant qualities exhibited by Ben are both courage and humanity. Ben receives a threatening text message from an unknown sender, after the word guilty is scratched into his car, and a trail of blood leading to his garage. He discovers dozens of flashlights carefully placed in rows inside. Detective Cornell offers him police protection, but Ben declines. A second character value and virtue that may help explain why people Ben Crawford continues to fight the opposition in the face of mounting defeat is humanity. After being Kidnaped and tortured by Kevin, Ben’s neighbor. Regardless of pain, suffering, or loss, Ben Crawford will not stop helping and caring for others regardless of the risk to his own live. Detective Cornell visits Ben to show him a video from the taxi he took to Jess’s house the night Tom died. Dave confesses that he drugged Ben’s drink the night of Tom’s death, while they were at the bar. That night Ben was waving around a picture of his terminated baby, which is why detective Cornell thought he knew Tom was his son. Ben finds Tom’s tooth in his pocket, which leads him to remember everything that happed that night. He also remembers the call he placed that night, to Jess, was to let her know he was sorry if Christy confronted her about the affair they had on the 4 July, when Christy had an abortion.
Ben Crawford admits that he went to Jess’s house the night of Tom’s murder because he saw Tom’s tricycle laying in the driveway and moved it. Ben sees that Jess is in the house sleeping and lets himself in. Tom awakes because he had lost a tooth, so Ben puts him to bed, tells him he wishes he was his dad, and takes the tooth for the tooth fairy. Psychology often is associated with cultivating happiness in a person’s life, courage, humanity, and altruism which provides a strong foundation for the bound to a cause worth fighting for even against tremendous odds. Perhaps there is no greater fear among most human beings than the fear of suffering and death. When given the opportunity, most individuals take steps to escape, avoid, or reduce the likelihood of death. Ben Crawford is so caring and loving and brave. Although he looks guilty of the murder of his son, it is hard to believe that he would kill the boy. Ben fights against all odds to find out who ended this boy’s life because he metaphorically sees this as his own death, and so fear ceases to exist. Life is so precious that I hope you all find an appreciation for your life and the lives of others. Ben Crawford loses someone he really values, and he is guided by his moral reasoning to find justice, courage, and humanity. He has resolved his own fear of death. Regardless of the outcome, Ben has what it takes to keep fighting despite the odds being stacked against him, that is how deep his love is for this boy. Love is better than a pair of spectacles to make everything seem greater which is seen through it.
The Great Escape–Reach for the Sky!
Among the most important values that children of God must adhere to are altruism, mindfulness, and a connection with love. However, sometimes in life people will do things just to hurt you. Although altruism, or selflessly helping others, is related to improved mental health, it can also hurt you. I met someone who was having a hard time in life, and wanted to help this person for only 30 days. Then person ended getting attached and putting a guilt trip on me. This person promised that if I kept being supportive, that they would eventually return the favor. So then this situation no longer became altruism, someone ended up taking advantage of my courage and dedication for helping others.
I am sometimes driven by my ambition in an addictive sense. I see progress and refuse to stop. Research on altruism suggest that people who remain mindful and true to their values of helping others are more likely to experience good emotions such as love and joy while helping others, but that is not always true. I personally have been having a little bit of a challenge dealing with a few people for a while, but things got kind of complicated this weekend. Someone I love and care about very much passed away 11 years ago, last Friday, 4 December 2015. It was such a shock to me, I had known him all of my life. My sister and I were at a wedding reception, and we got the call the someone close to us was sick, he went to the hospital, and then three days later he died.
So on Friday, for some reason, I guess because the anniversary of his death came up, I got lonely, and went to a friend’s house. We had a couple of drinks and then someone started talking about the passing of my loved one—we never talk about it anymore. And he just kept going and would not stop, I went numb and was not sure how I was going to react, so I left. And then I got home and I was so sad, I felt a void, and I felt how temporary life is and how when someone leaves the Earth, they do not return. Research on mindfulness (noticing the experiences in the in the present moment rather than fixating on the past or the future) suggest that people who practice mindfulness are more likely to be altruistic and to exhibit better mental health.
However, just a few days ago, I was talking about how I am too old to cry. Yet, I cried so many times this weekend, and then had a few bottles of wine to myself, that I was concerned about my own well-being, this is so out of character for me. Then my neighbor told me another one of my friends passed away just a few days ago. So it really left me feeling floored. Then last night, I went for a walk, as I usually do, and the person I have been interested in, for a while, just walked right past me. And I was like, okay, well, nice to see you. Came home and had a few more drinks. Although it seems like I may be developing a problem, I recognized that before anyone else noticed. People who are mindful and those who follow their values are less likely to develop PTSD and are more likely to recover from addiction, depression, anxiety, and chronic pain.
when you are kind of an anchor in people lives, it would really hurt them to see you suffer and go down a blackhole. My body is a temple of God and I refuse to abuse it, so I have to remove the toxic elements from my life. Then I woke up at 3am, and cried again. And it was because of some things that happened to my sister, and I just do not understand how these things can happen? So then I went online and the person I was interested in was posting on social media how they were out with this other guy and the two of them are posting pictures of each other sharing a chair together and sitting extra close in the car, and I am like okay…it is time for me to let this go.
People who are impulsive are more likely to be driven by immediate gratification, are more likely to struggle with their academic commitment, and may be more likely to struggle with regulating their emotions. I have seen other people, like my sister, be mistreated by guys, and I tell her, “You are too young and too pretty, and can do better,” and I really mean it. So I got to thinking, I do not want to end up in the hospital from alcohol poisoning or potentially over dosing on a substance like others have, so I am going to stop being so understanding. This person I am kind of seeing has been doing nothing, but upsetting me for the past six months and things are not going to change, nor get better. I cannot control life, but I can control myself and move on.
When people know that you are having a hard time, and do nothing but add to it and never do anything sweet, they are toxic. Recently, I wrongly misjudged Jennifer Lawrence and called her a bitch because of how she acted toward someone, and also because she said that guys treat her bad. I was also upset that she selected her career over a relationship, and I could not comprehend it because I want a loving relationship. However, sometimes relationships are abusive and maybe guys are mean to Jennifer Lawrence and picking her career, over a relationship, may have saved her life. One of the principals of being a good Christian is not to judge others because God will make you understand their choices and decision by putting you through the same situations. I had become just like the people I say are foolish for staying in bad relationships. `
Secrets and Lies—Cape Fear River Blood Trails
Rising in eerie silence amid the lonely community of Wilmington, North Carolina, USA is the Crawford mansion. The ornate structure located in the seemingly quiet cul-de-sac of Chelsea Bay Drive—a montage of Gothic and Victorian architecture complete with window’s walk and classical columns—has stood vacant since mid-2014, a ghostly reminder of a colorful past. There is no shortage of secrets and lies in the neighborhood. The old house, now vandalized and dilapidated, was built in 1887 by Ben Crawford’s great grandfather, a German immigrant who amassed a fortune farming and shipping grain, and became one of the founding fathers of Wilmington. Six children were born and grew up there is apparent happy prosperity. The grandfather arrived in this county with $4 in his hand, died in the house—a very wealthy man. The house was eventually inherited by Ben Crawford, and once again it was a social mecca. Between the concert appearances with the Wilmington Symphony Orchestra, the Crawford’s entertained lavishly. The gala era ended with the death of an unknown guest in 2007, and the townspeople gathered and burned an effigy of one town resident. However, before the effigy was buried, it was found that Liberty still had a pulse, and celebration ensued. The house was then a focus of a series of disputes. Should the place be demolished, relocated or refurbished? Christy Crawford, Ben’s wife, reported she felt an energy in the house. The sound of crying late at night, lights that flashed on and off, uncanny cold drafts.
One night she came home and allegedly all the lights were off, as she approached the front door, it was 2am in the morning, and she heard the piano playing, then went back to her car and through the window saw a play man playing the piano in the dark. During the night, Mr. and Mrs. Crawford would be awakened by a child crying, but upon investigation they would find their children sound asleep. “Finally, I just came to believe that there was something in the house that I could not understand,” Christy Crawford admitted to detective Cornell, who was investigating her husband for a murder. Through the Crawford’s grew accustomed to their unseen housemates, friends did not. No one knows what part they played in the long history of the old mansion. The time came when no one would live in the house. Once a showplace, the windows were boarded up. Whether this was to keep the living out or the dead in, nobody was quite certain. What to do with the vacant, frequently vandalized home, was debated. Numerous schemes were formulated over the years. Jess Murphy secretly got pregnant with Ben’s baby, while Christy was away and planned to ruin their marriage and use the baby as ransom money to acquire and renovate the house. In an effort to find out what was behind the strange happenings, Christy Crawford held a séance in the house. Almost immediately she was confronted by the apparition of a hawk-faced man, the same man she saw playing the piano. One leg had been severed in a farming accident, the other crippled by arthritis. He was bitter, angry….
When researchers electrically stimulate the amygdala, individuals can immediately experience a fear response and demonstrate all the symptoms of fear, including sweating and a rapid hears rate. Human beings require the fear response especially when living in caves with lions, tigers, and bears as their adversaries. With the fear response, heart rate goes up, breathing quickens and becomes shallow, the stomach starts to turn, as blood flow moves to the area where it senses danger, placing one in a ready state to defend themselves. In the physical body’s effort to survive, it will attempt to control the external environment in any way possible even if that requires jumping out of the way of a car, fighting off a perceived attack, or seemingly levitating. In an increasingly stress-filled World, people’s bodies often invoke the fight-or-flight response as the biological self perceives an existential threat despite the absence of such a threat. Examples of this can include selling a haunted house and sneaking away to take a test that can result in sheer panic. An underlying propensity for anxiety or perfectionistic style can fuel the fight-or-flight response and makes one believe in the little “brain myths” that can cause us to think we must control variables that are far beyond our control. Stressed brains seek control over stressors, real or imagined, and that is why Christy Crawford seems too frigid. Apparently, she has some senses or intuition no one else is tuned into.
Christy and Ben Crawford are intriguing because as characters, they situations and formulations have that urgent, irrefutable quality that we call mythic; hence their presence affords a sense of spaciousness or wholeness. They become inviting and compelling, exactly like Biblical myths; we think easily of modern Job, Noah, and the Virgin Mary plays, of Satan figures in the miniseries, of the enlarging presence of the Cain and Adam motifs. The stories in Secrets and Lies become mythical and are wound into modern plots, these are the more comprehensive; they offer wider realms in which we move closer to totality. We come, then, to another matter in which the function of the Secrets and Lies miniseries has an affinity with the religious. With Ben Crawford, we have a perennial problem. When looking at his life and family, we are getting from a smaller to a larger sense of life. It is a human habit to be always, as we move from age to age, drifting into new constrictions; every new liberating perspective, like abortion, an extramarital affair, childbirth, and divorce imposes its own rigidities; in Secrets and Lies we flee from one half-truth through a wide-open for that turns out to lead us to another half-truth or brain lie. We run from the excessive spirituality of Charmed and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the nineteenth century) to the excessively physicality of the Secrets and Lies which could be set in the twentieth century. From hyper-genteel to the self-assured vulgar, from a strong sense of the unmentionable to the inability to stop mentioning it, from tiptoeing over the surface of life to being unable to get up to the surface from Cape Fear River. We are always influx, trying now this strait and now that.
Fortunately, there is help. Fear and the requirement to control external events repeatedly arise in Ben Crawford’s personality. He fears for his wife and feels the requirement to solve this murder of Tom Murphy to free her from social isolation. He also fears the loss and potential death of his daughters, after all, the killer is lurking in this Cape Fear River town. Ben Crawford embarrassingly challenges and reprimands detective Cornell so that this investigation will remain focused on not simply closing a case, but actually finding out who committed the crime to prevent it from happening again and again. Anger and frustration are clearly evident in Ben’s face. His heart is with Christy and cannot also be with Jess Murphy, his mistress. While Christy is “away” Ben Crawford loses sight of the mission because of his loneliness and fear from Christy’s safety. However, a real man is supposed to release his fear and not allow emotions to cloud his judgment. At every turn, Ben demonstrates his core fear and unreasonable goal setting. He repeatedly experiences the pull to save others to prevent bad things from happening. Ultimately, the variables that he strives to control grow into the most grandiose goal of all: the establishment of peace and righteousness throughout the community and World. As Ben attempts to control seen, unforeseen, and imagined tragic life and communal events, he experiences failure time and time again.
Ben Crawford fits the model of the pervasive perfectionist. He increasingly responds with anger and ultimately rage. He perceives himself as having failed his family by not having saved his son from the killer. Ben’s response to this perceived self-imposed failure is to react with rage in an attempt to seek moralistic justice by ripping the town apart until the killer is found. More failures ensue as Ben is exposed for having an affair with the neighbor, and this builds on his lack of control. Instead of looking inward, focusing on his emotions, and being mindful of the moment and his purpose, Ben externalizes and emotionally reacts with little thought to his underlying fears and anxiety. Over and over, he runs into variables he cannot control, and this plants more seeds of anxiety, doubt, and fear. Ben Crawford grew up in an abusive household, where he would be physically attacked for even minor infractions. For a child struggling to see the best in people, finding coping mechanisms, in the midst of his upbringing, was incredibly difficult. As an adult, living in the Victorian house, having a family, and being part of a once peaceful community, which he helped create, were the only things that made his life worth living. The familiar relationship between Tom Murphy and Ben Crawford is the most tortured I could imagine. Ben went from loving this boy as his own son, to being accused of his murder, and then finding out the boy is his biological child. The drive Ben Crawford displays to find the killer of his son and save his family has been a teary-eyed catharsis for me. The bond a father has with his lifeless son, even pervades death.
A letter from Ben Crawford (Ryan Phillippe) to his mythical son: It took me a while to translate why Ryan Phillippe also known as Ben Crawford has always been one of my favorite actors (characters). I remember seeing that movie Cruel Intentions, and my friend Nicole joked and said, “Look, someone has been spying on you and Heather and made a movie about your lives.” I felt a connection with Ryan Phillippe, and just dismissed him as a face that would remain unattainable, so why even focus on him? However, once I tried to put the puzzle together, it made sense. I just wish I would have had someone there to point it out to me sooner. That is why I tell this story often, to show that Secrets and Lies and Ryan Phillippe helps. And for the little boy I used to be, it was the only help I had. With love, fish is able to swim in the water and birds are able to fly in the sky and nights are as clear as days. Without love, life will be like a harp with broken strings and an antique crystal chandelier without gas, and it is cold even in Summer. Although my appearance is not beautiful, I am the tenderest person to you. I cannot forget your curved smiling eyebrows, which accompany me during the night. Years go by, but sincere love is left. How can I call you? Those withered trees in the Winter have sprouted the branches of Spring for they believe Spring comes and larks have sung songs—how can I call you? And although you seem not to know, it is I who has gotten you through these dark days, I have watched you all of your life. May we be stars in the sky of youth scattering whiteness and ever-lasting glory together. Our sincere love is smooth water of Cape Fear River, shining the Sun and the Moon in our hearts. A little regard, a deep missing, a thick love and a sweet memory. I am waiting for you the time you return silently. The person of one’s heart, the heart of a person. Even flowers and birds will be infatuated.
Secrets and Lies—the First Gay Teenager
Father and son myths attract huge audiences, the story of God, the creator of Earth and the Milky Way Galaxy, the Father of Christ is one of the World’s most ancient tales know to humans. God wanted desperately to bond with a son he did not know, who was taken away from him. Join me and we will have peace on Earth is what God told his son. The most magnificent and beautiful flowers in the World is youth and life. Dear son, may our youth and life glow as splendid light, and God created and Sun and the Moon. In this World, successful people are those who strive for the opportunity they want. If we cannot find any opportunity, we will create them for ourselves. You have infinite wisdom like spring and industrious hands. Dear son, luck and happiness will accompany you no matter where you are. Let us open the door of puzzles with the golden key of wisdom, and force our way into the palace of creation. The prowess of a sail shows all the more in storms and waves and the fun of life in ups and downs. May you sail through storms and waves and blaze a trail up to the summit! It is not the setback that is dreadful but the despair in failure and repentance. All can start a new, and hope lies just ahead. On the voyage of our life, everything will be old expect time. There is a red Sun greeting you everyday.
It is another promising day, please cherish it! On the long voyage of our life, every step is a test. However, making clear of one’s direction and aim, knowing one’s potentiality and stepping forward resolutely are more important. A river consists of many brooks and a high mountain piles up by thousands of tons of stone. Absorb nutrition from knowledge extensively. May we be as grand mansions as high as a mountain and as deep as a big river. Viewing Secrets and Lies for the first time was and is for many people a life-changing experience. Without a word, Ben Crawford’s mere presence bleeds ultimate power and fear. The moment you see his golden blonde hair and blue eyes, you knew you liked Ben Crawford. Ben Crawford is aspirational in his goal of community stability and peace. As the miniseries progressed, he went from being a God, to being more and more human. As a little boy, I could not understand what I was sensing about Ben. As my dad and I left the mansion that night in March of 2014, he held my hand. Squeezing it, he looked down and me and said, “You know that Ben Crawford was pretty cool.” I looked into his eyes, and hugged him, and agreed. Ben was cool. The actor, Ryan Phillippe, was in a movie called 54, and he inhabits my apartment sometimes as a testament to that coolness. One night he left his underwear.
How cool is it a murdering, planet-creating, prince-torturing (his son, I might add) machine of a man be cool? Cool is probably not the right word, but more important, I do not believe Ryan Phillippe was evil. Ryan Phillippe was not a bad guy. He was just very scared. Living under Hollywood rule has to be stressful. Freedoms are being undermined, the public is frantic, the existential threat of death is unleashed, and the knowledge that his character’s son has been killed or expelled offers little to no hope. The tiny rebellion has little chance against the Ryan Phillippe or the regional governors who holds his son captive in the basis of fear. Other threats are ever present from the community, bounty hunters, slavery, and bribery. Stress is omnipresent under the law. As Ryan Phillippe tells Randolph, there had been a sense of safety and hope when he was considered his guardian, they had peace and justice in the old days, before dark times…before they moved to Sacramento. In the present day, we may not be living in castle, but we could be living under another, more sinister menace that is walking among us every day. I require you to live with me so we can protect and support each other. In my private life, as a psychologist, I see a lot of scared kids and parents. More accurately, I sever the requirements of a lot of anxious people. As a community, we are working harder in our jobs now than at any other time in history. Levels of anxiety are the highest every reported. Individuals are reporting that 40 percent more stress is a reality in their households, and you worry and panic now more than when you had me in your life.
With me being under such intensive pressure and stress, the life of you—my son—is similarly under mounting pressure. Living in such conditions on an ongoing basis raises levels of anxiety to dangerous levels. People are simply trying to upset you to channel your anger so they can insult you. You are required to experience deeper human emotions like love and hugging, you must not always have been alone, you require my attention, the love awaits. You do not have to worry about it, I will never leave you alone. Chasity is a great virtue in a man. Last week, I went with you to the Tower, to see the crowns, and wild beastis; and there was a monstracious lion, with teeth half a quarter long; and a gentleman bid me not go near him, if I was not with my son; being as how he would roar, and tear, and play the dickens. Now I had no mind to go near him; for I cannot abide such dangerous honeymils, not I—but, you would go; and the beast kept such a roaring and bouncing, that I thought he would have broke his cage and devoured us all; and the gentleman tittered forsooth; but I will go to the ends of the Earth upon it, I will, that my son is as good a firchin, as the child unborn; and, therefore, either the gentleman told a fib, or the lion ought to be set in the stocks for bearing false witness against his neighbor.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is an approach to psychological treatment that alters thinking patters and often times behavior as well, in people’s lives. CBT is used in an attempt to reduce anxiety-based negative thoughts and behaviours that interfere with successful living. CBT is the state-of-the-art tool for anxiety reduction. Anxiety can be paralyzing. It can make you feel that you are under an existential threat, but CBT can help. Then Ryan Phillippe tells me that he is my father, he created, and Secrets and Lies was about how he thought he lost me forever. Before beginning CBT session, my most frequently used too was an introduction to the true nature of Ben Crawford. As he is one of the best-known characters in World history, the majority of his followers, even little five-year-olds suffering from head trauma, have a good understanding of his story. The first episode of Secrets and Lies, anxious and fearful viewers being with a foundational question: “There is only one difference between Ben Crawford and Tom Murphy. What is it?” The most common answer to the question is, “Ben Crawford is God and Tom Murphy is his son.” However, I argue the point that Ben Crawford really loves this boy. His actions are clearly those of a father and he should be characterized as such, and those actions are motivated by something else. He is driven by a magnified emotion we all experience to one degree or another. Ryan Phillippe plays the role of Ben Crawford so well because he is motivated as he believes this is art imitating a portion of his life when he allegedly had a son while he was playing Billy Douglas on One Life to Live, in 1992.
Therefore, the correct answer to the question about Ben Crawford and Tom Murphy is where they place their sense of control. Ben Crawford attempts to control everything external to him, whereas Tom Murphy strives to demonstrate self-control and allow for humans to have free will. Ben Crawford wants peace and justice throughout the community and Milky Way Galaxy. He aspires to an admirable goal for sure. Ben Crawford so much desires and believes in a peaceful family and galactic future that he implores his son to join him on his quest to heal the Earth. Ben Crawford actually wants the same goal as Tom Murphy, but he pursues that goal in a manner that leads him down a frustrating, failure-ridden, and dark path. Ryan Phillippe, loved playing the role of Billy Douglas on One Life to Live. He said in real life when he tried to come out to his father about being gay, that his dad told him, “How could I understand something that is not possible, someone made you think you’re gay, where did you get this crazy idea? You aren’t gay, you can’t be, do you understand?” There is also claim made by Brandon Voss the guy who played Ryan’s boyfriend held his hand once or twice, and he felt lucky to play the first gay teenager on television, period. He and his mother used to get fan letters and read them together. People said they found Ryan Phillippe to be a gay icon, and one young man said that he had considered suicide before seeing a character like him and being accepted.
In his own words Ryan Phillippe says, “I also heard from a father, a mechanic, who hadn’t spoken to his son since he came out. When our show came on in his shop, it gave him some insight and understanding as to who his son was, so it opened up communication between them. As much as you can write off how silly the entertainment industry can be, it can affect change and make people see things differently. That’s beautiful. I’m aware of my gay following and I thank God for that. I’m very aware and appreciative because I started my career playing a gay teenager on One Life to Live when I was very young, I’ve always had a heightened sensitivity to that response, and I’m definitely considerate of the audience. That’s a beautiful creation; he’s mine.” Experiencing so many early life stressors must be very hard on young Ryan. His time on One Life to Live probably reinforces within him a deep-seeded sense that he is controlled by life circumstances. His Ultimate Phillippe unconscious conclusion could be that he has little control of his own destiny, and may reinforce his desire to seek control of his own destiny. Control of future events drives him. In its response to being controlled by so many factors, Ryan Phillippe’s nature is to attempt to control as much as possible, even things far outside his ability to control. When under stress, people tend to seek ways of gaining control, sometimes even using magical thinking. Before he leaves his mother to train as an actor, we get a clear glimpse into Ryan Phillippe’s heart, as he says, “I will come back and free you…I promise. If the heart is near, a long journey will be shortened; if you can free a heart from grief, your life will be well worthwhile.” Although the sentiment is beautiful, we are able to see the pressure this 16-year-old child places on himself. No child should feel that he is responsible for saving a little boy.
Perfectionism has been described as a kind of neurosis that pushes someone to achieve severe and exacting goals. A subtype of perfectionism in teenage boys has been identifies as “pervasive perfectionism.” Such individuals are very well organized and tend to set incredibly high personal standards. However, these individuals often react strongly and very negatively to mistakes in a way that results in angry outbursts or meltdowns. Pervasively perfectionistic teenage boys, like Ryan Phillippe, tend to have parents who have high expectations of them or are often very critical (think about Billy Douglas’s father with unreasonably high expectations). Having such a perfectionist manner of thinking leaves a person with unavoidable failure as nobody can be perfect, not even one who expected to bring balance to the life force. Having repeated experiences of failure and never feeling a sense of perfect completion can manifest and leave one feeling defeated, shameful, and guilty. Ryan Phillippe, as he turns to the dark side, surmises his dichotomous manner of thinking by saying, “I just thought about the gay friends I have and how potentially offensive that whole direction would be to them. I don’t feel there was any malice behind it, though, and I know Jay regrets it. We ended up going to a gay bar there, but I don’t even think anyone noticed me, I was kind of shocked. Maybe my gay fans are just better behaved than my straight fans. Who cares about being consider gay, man, in this day and age? Not like I’m going to fall in love with my son at a gay bar!” I am not math major, but what is Ryan Phillippe hiding from us and where is it? Ryan tells us for Christmas, he does plan to Reclaim what was taken from him so many years ago.
Call Me When the Cross Turns Over
Love and friendship know nothing of justice. The value of love is that it overlooks faults, and forgives even crimes. The World imagines those to be at our nature’s depths who are impudent enough to expose its muddy shallows. The dredging of natures is the miry form of art. Analytical psychology is an approach to studying mental health and personality development by investigating consciousness and unconscious processes. Personal development involves a process of individuation, growth as an individual, in which each person can better understand both themselves and aspects of a universal level of the subliminal cognitive state. Many of us are on a noble quest. We spend each moment of every waking hour focused and reflecting on mystery we are trying to solve. Life is about trying to protect the peace the community after an intrusion by outside forces, which we are not akin to. The person who is very determined and on a righteous journey, in the midst of the chaos and deceptions around one is a person who is connected with God, and this allows us to remain strong and peaceful.
Individuation refers to the effort to become a fully human person and to grow into full consciousness. The process of becoming fully human and totally conscious is to understand the good, bad, light and darkness, and it is not an easy choice. The journey to individuation is a lifetime journey. Some people choose to protect their compassion nature with cynicism and apathy because they do not want to feel vulnerable nor uncertain. It is by far more easy for people to pretend like they do not care than to face heartbreak or disappointment. Some people put up barriers because they feel threatened by potential rejection and want to live a painless life. However, by blocking people out who care about you, not only are you hurting them, but you are also hurting yourself. No matter what, life is fluid and while you may think you have a person where you want them, you may lose them while you are not looking. A lot like parking your car in a lot and leaving it unattended. You think it is secure because it has an alarm system, you are constantly watching it, but if someone wants it, they will find a way to get it from you.
When people lose things they care about because they did not cherish them, a feeling of revenge starts to brew, and while they thought they were protecting themselves, they really start to feel the pain of loss, and this can turn into a vengeful rage. Your shadow represents the individual’s discordant desires, instincts, or shortcomings. This is why we are facing so many shootings and violence, people are living fake lives and hurting inside. On Wednesday, 2 December 2015, in San Bernardino, California, USA one to three suspects committed a massacre, killing more than 20 people at the Inland Regional Center, a facility that cares for people with developmental disabilities. This shows you that no targets are off limits, people are killing anyone they want without any regard. Because the conscious ego can only know itself, the contents of the mind and the dark shadows residing inside are unknown to others. Mass shooters are no longer adapting to the outer reality that we all share, but rather to an inner reality. They have a split with reality because there are elements of themselves that are forgotten, repressed, or ignored. To avoid these type of situations, we need to be kind to people and accept others for who they are. We have to learn to surrender, relinquishing part of our own desires and be guided by God to care for others who are having hard times.
We have to learn to train our mind, body, and spirit to be disciplined. In life, everyone faces trials, and just because some are smiling and happy, it does not mean that their life is better than yours, it simply means they are better able to control their emotions. While some people take relationships for granted and are running around trying to get attention and be popular, their loved ones may be in the process of letting going and moving on. A person should contemplative as the spirit converse and assimilates with the unconscious. As one progresses through individuation, actions may change, as the body now acts in congruence with the mind and spirit. When you recognize distressing feelings, the first step is to acknowledge them. If you remain in denial or in a one sided relationship, you will remain discontented and ignorant for the rest of your life. Being alone and uncertain of your future can be a painful and frightening experience, but remember to walk in faith and not by sight. Before examining our own hidden qualities, we may be in complete denial of our shadow elements, yet what we deny in ourselves can often easily be spotted in others. A person may despise another’s quick temper while at the same time fervently suppressing a wish to respond with anger.
The first step in making the acquaintance of a person’s own shadow is admitting that the scary, annoying, or irritating qualities found in others are often the qualities in that individual that evoke the very same responses. For example, if you are dating someone who is in their 40s, who is still going out to nightclubs and trying to be hip, you may despise that aspect of them and you need to eradicate that person from your life. Staying in unhealthy situations disavowals one’s own characteristics and it may be dangerous. The more you suppress yourself, the more darkness and unhappiness grows inside of you, and it will take over your life entirely. The goal in life is to develop a reciprocal relationship. Everyone knows when you are in your 40s, you are too old to be going to nightclubs and trying to look cool. So if you are dating someone, who is older than you, and this is how they behave, break it off and enjoy life so you do not end up like them. Art may disguise complexions, but never improve them. Sometimes people are placed in our lives so we can see what we do not want to become. This shadow holds a message that it may be wise for you to heed. These are messages that may come from your subconscious content, particularly if the vision includes a character that is the same gender as the person with the vision. By paying attention to the message, or the vision, the encounter with the shadow becomes collaborative, rather than hostile in nature.
As unbelievable as it may sound, this shadow is still part of you. You should accept it, attune to it, guide it, and control it. Be mindful, strive to stay mindful and aware of anger and other shadowy feelings, as well as paying attention to your thoughts. Sometimes you go through a lot of the same type of relationships to help you grow. On the path to individuation, a person examines events are meaningful expressions of the collective unconscious. So, let me take that back, if you are dating someone who is immature, as long as they are not harming you or taking anything from you, allow them to be in your life. This could be your spirit testing you to see if you can hang on when things get rough. Let them think they are still the love of your life, and when someone else comes on, they will realize you have left them in the shadows. We have the innate capacity to walk a path through the park that leads us to our true selves. We gather strength from every situation, and allow this to bring you peace, balance, and wholeness, but to benefit from this wisdom, we must first learn to feel the variety of emotions. It is amazing, when you change the way you look at people, and start looking out for them, it is impressive how much better they treat you.
Nothing is Surer [than] the Heart
Our hearts are often larger than our wills. There are those who like not to be detected in the possession of the heart. Can you feel pain and suffering? Most people can feel pain, so why is it that many like to hurt others instead of making them feel loved and accepted? When people are apparently being tortured others marvel at how well they endure the suffering, and to justify the inhuman behavior, some might convince themselves that other members of the human population are not human, or they do not have a soul, and because of that it is okay to abuse them. And if these beings are soulless, the abuser believes the creature does not deserve any consideration when it comes to how it is being treated. Many of us are but sorry hosts to ourselves. Some hearts are hermits.
Some people live lives that are not their choice and have to deal with unbelievable circumstances. And everyone they interact with, consistently, is not necessarily nice to them. They live isolated lives and are working hard to overcome their burdens. Some of these people who are striving to be successful have worked hard than many you know and they invest every dime of their saving into their business, without know if it will ever be successful. Every time they make a purchase for themselves, it kind of makes them depressed. You cannot always decide for yourself whether your own heart is cold or warm. So it is important to be loving, kind, considerate, and humble to everyone you meet.
Some people have goals that are independent of their culture, and as a result they may face shame; amusement; feelings of superiority, annoyance, ambition; and aims of self-preservation and increasing power. These people are capable of intelligence, goals, emotions, and pain. And they also care about other people and the environment. However, it seems no one cares about these extremely motivated people, even though they display enormous care, love, and loyalty towards others. When others are hurt, extremely motivated people are disturbed, shocked, and depressed by these maladaptive behaviors. The first mistaken impulse of an undisciplined heart.
However, when the tables are turned, and these highly motivated people are punched, strangled, and hit in the head no one seems to care, and this can trigger deep psychological reactions in the participants that makes them feel like they are toys, not human, or somehow less valuable. Extremely motivated people are highly evolved or have been very well educated. They think more deeply and deliberatively. Often times watching scary movies disturbs them because they care about the feelings of the people in the film, and think to themselves, “This could be real, look at how good the emotions are, they are better actors in this film, than most people are in real life.” Their brains react to stimuli the same way it would if the events were actually happening in front of them.
Yet, many people tend to keep these highly motivated people at somewhat of a distance, they hold back from them as if they are not human. As a result, they live in casual abandonment, and this makes them have excessive worry and fear; because of that no one ever really gets to know them. When they are hurt, the general public seems to display laughter and joy, not the horror of injury or death. It is as if people think, “We do not care about them so it is okay to hurt and kill them.” When these outsiders are on the edge and others think they may be contemplating suicide, groups of people are more likely to bait them or try to hurt them so they destroy themselves. Nonetheless, research indicates the people actually like the pictures of these non-human, fake people, more than real humans. Overall, these fake people are not disliked more than others, nor do they appear to be very realistic, but there is something about their genetic code that drives some people crazy.
Because of the way they are treated, these highly motivated people feel more anonymous, some wear sunglasses all the time, or tend to avoid large crowds. However, they are easier to kill, and it is easier for people to watch them being killed, but no one will march or put on demonstrations for them. Scientist say this is because they keep their faces partially covered and you do not see them often so you have no idea they are suffering. You cannot see their emotions and typically see no bruises nor broken bones, and they appear to be happy, so it does not register to others that these fake humans are being hurt and feel pain. These fake humans are not out in public hollering and screaming, nor do they fight with others.
So the question is, how do we make people care about these toy humans? Why should they be mistreated? Well, some think that if we push religion and more people learn to believe in God that it will foster more concern for people that are looked at as outsiders. Blessed are those who have regard for those who are delicate; the LORD delivers us in times of trouble. The LORD will protect you and preserve your life; God will bless you in the land, and not surrender you to the desire of your foes. The LORD will sustain you on your sickbed and restore you from your bed of infirmary. God knows the secrets of the heart. I do not know what heart means. I sometimes fancy that it is a talent for getting into debt, and running away with other men’s wives.
Hostages Seized and Killed in Attack on Radisson Hotel
No child is born hostile or aggressive. It becomes so only when its desires to be loved and to love are frustrated, that is, when it expected satisfactions are thwarted—and the thwarting of an expected satisfaction is the definition of frustration. I entertain the hope that in our venturing we shall get addicted to wonder and know the joy of constantly feeling something a little new. Grief can take care of itself, but to get full value of a joy, you must have somebody to divide it with. We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another. In Bamako, Mali—an unknown number of Islamist militant gunmen stormed a Radisson Blu hotel on the morning of 20 November 2015 in Bamako, the capitol of the West African nation of Mali, taking at least 170 people as hostages, and killing an estimated 3 people. Because of all of the terrorist attacks, many people are wondering if Muslims and Islamist are religions of terror?
Over the centuries, churches, synagogues, and mosques have had a number of important socializing effects on their participants as well as on society as a whole. In the main, these have to do with an individual’s approach to how to answer certain important questions about life, death, how to deal with people, and the structure of one’s value system. Perhaps the most important socializing effect of many churches is to teach members that there is an answer to every important question—and that leading a good life consists of learning these answers and following them to the letter. In effect, people were provided with a whole code of ethics and set of rules for living. Many decisions were eliminated. All the devout person had to do was find the church’s view of the answer.
Many people are learning to abuse religion. Because God forgives anyone of any sin, people use this as an excuse to partake in bad behavior, and then pray to God and ask for forgiveness. Even if you are evil and bad your entire life, you can ask God to forgive you on your death bed, and he will. So people have no incentive to behave. This position, too, has seen and experienced much change. Churches today are more inclined to encourage individual responsibility. For some, this has contributed considerably to the amount of anxiety in the World over the number of unanswered questions “running around loose” in each person’s head. Much of the popularity of the Back to Jesus movement may be due to the desire for renewed certainty—the feeling that the Bible and the church have a certain answer for every difficult question. And those who do not participate in such religious experiences may look elsewhere for that sense of certainty—whether in drugs, astrology, political ideology, or even psychology.
Many people have left organized churches because of difference between what the church teaches and what goes on in the real World. Others left because their religion insisted on dividing people into believers and unbelievers, teaching hatred and rejection for those with different beliefs. Many young people have begun to borrow ideas from oriental religions like Buddhism, Taoism, and Indian meditation cults. It seems to me that if we are going to live sanely, then we must respect and be sensitive to differences, realizing that no two individuals are alike, and that is we really understand someone, we understand how they differ from us. Freedom in religion, freedom in life, asks one fundamental overriding questions: Who do you want to be? It does not tell you who you must be, not even that there are some real and productive laws of your being that you were destined to become. Religion asks you never to forget how each day can be described by the possibilities it contains and how tomorrow shall be as well. All freedom can do is to illuminate the possibilities that can be opened to us and toward which we can steer ourselves by making our choices real.
Flags of Our Fathers
The worst of our evils we blindly inflict upon ourselves. Selfishness is so predominant, that when most people hear of benevolence, they consider it a curiosity. Doc is a young man who has not have many good things in life. Both his mother and father worked hard and long hours but never seemed to be able to get ahead. There were four children in the family, and Ben often went unnoticed, somehow lost in the shuffle. He very often got very little to eat, and shared his bed with his two brother and often did not get enough sleep.
His clothes could hardly have been called stylish; his family could not afford new ones, and handed the old ones down until they literally fell apart. In school, did was not the best student, was shy and withdrawn, and was not good at sports because he was tired all the time and never got enough to eat. Most of the time, as he grew up, his parents were not home, and there was not one to take care of him when he was sick or injured.
The day after he managed to graduate from high school, Doc joined the Navy. If you talk to him today, his eyes gleam with pride as he tells you how much he loves it. “Being in the Navy was the best thing that ever happened to me! It seems that throughout life I was looked down upon and set up to fail, but I took charge of my life and made something of it. Now that I am more mature, people often wonder how I made it.”
Some people believe the whole story of motivation is coded in our genes, those inherited bits of cellular stuff: we are born a certain way and what we do is determined exclusively by these genetic factors. However, not a soul on board of us knows whiter we may be gliding—not even the commodore himself; assuredly not the chaplain; even our professor’s surmisings are vain. On that point, the smallest cabin boy is as wise as the captain. Heaven has kindly closed from our eyes the book of future events, that we may not be guilty of repining at its ordinations.
We do know that some of our behavior is caused by factors that are part of our physical existence. However, the most important lesson the World has learned in the past fifty years is that it is not true that human nature is unchangeable. Human nature, on the contrary, can be changed with the greatest of ease and to the utmost possible extent. If this lies huge potential danger, it also contains some of the brightest hopes that we have for the future of mankind.
If you encounter an issues of life, think of lawful, honest, and ethical ways that you can make a difference or make it better, and it will always come to you. There is no set time, but it will happen. It is astonishing how large a hole a woodpecker makes with a small beak: it is owing to successive impressions. Great works are reformed, not by strength, but perseverance. My good is mine now, and I can see it and feel it and know it.
From far and near my own shall come to me. Even now it is coming to me and I receive it. My own is now manifesting itself to me, and I see and know its presence. My own shall respond to me. Felicitate thyself then upon thy defects; which are evidently thy principal perfections; and which occasion thee a distinction which otherwise thou wouldst never have. Life always was and evermore shall be a World without end. All the power there is, is mine now. All the life, truth, love of the Universe is not and forever flowing through my body.
The all good cannot change. I shall always have access to my eternal God within me. Perseverance is the surest road to success. The first step leading to perfection, and real activity, is to wander through the World unknown, and subject t few wants. You must not forsake the ship in tempest, because you cannot rule and keep down the winds. Remember, attention, love, admiration, cannot be always kept at the stretch. The light of life is full within me and around me. A ship is not counted strong by biding one storm, go forth and bless all who come to you, light within.
Randolph Harris II International Institute 