Many view aggression not as innate, but as a disposition fueled and governed by personal and cultural conditioning. According to social learning theory, aggression is a self-serving learned behavior: we assume we need or deserve something, and we find that we can get it—and sometime even more—through being aggressive, whether directly or indirectly (as when we manipulate another into acting out our aggression). This starts very early in life. Very young children can get aggressive simply though seeing others getting what they want through being aggressive. Not surprisingly, aggression is commonly imitated when it seems that it is justified. Such justification can be very primitive, being no more than a matter of “I want it; therefore it should be mine.” The  logic is starkly simple: if you have it and I want it, and I can take it from you through being aggressive with you, then I will. This type of rationalization can be very dangerous. The experience of women who were raped by their partners differed not only by the type of violence they suffered but also in terms of the frequency of the incidents. For a few women in this sample, rape was a relatively rare occurrence. For example, Abigail was married to her partner for 25 years and was raped once early in the relationship. Other women were raped so frequently they lost count. Debbie was raped as often as three times a say over a period of 8 years. Most women (55 percent) were raped frequently—more than twenty times during the course of their relationship. Also, 50 percent of the women in the ample were raped more than twenty times. Although there is a wide range of experiences represented in this sample, rape was not an infrequent occurrence but the norm for most women. #RandolphHarris 1 of 18

Women who are raped by their husbands experience not only vaginal penetration but a variety of unwanted, forced sexual acts. In fact, marital rape survivors are more likely to experience unwanted oral and anal intercourse than women who are raped by acquaintances. About 57 percent of the women in my sample were vaginally raped by their partners. However, 40 percent of the women reported at least one incident of anal rape, and 33 percent have been forced to perform oral sex on their partners. Thus, we see considerable variation in the type of sexual violence women experienced and the frequency with which they were raped by their partners. The women in this sample offered many explanations for the rapes inflicted on them by their partners. However, it is significant to note that these explanations were offered after they had ended the violence. While the relationships were ongoing, many of the women said, they blamed themselves for the violence. In retrospect, they were more likely to hold their husbands responsible for sexually abusing them. One of the most popular explanations women offered was that their partner believed that he had the right to sexual intercourse on demand; when refused, he had the right to take it. Such thinking is created and perpetuated, not necessarily by the patriarchal family structure, but because of hierarchical or status seeking behavior in youth. When this type of aggression is supported by parental and social rewards, it becomes innate. Also, this type of aggressive behavior that some men impose on their wives can be part of social modeling. #RandolphHarris 2 of 18

Social modeling can play a huge role in the arising and development of aggression, as shown through research indicating that witnessing physical abuse between one’s parents is more strongly correlated to later involvement in marital violence than being hit by one’s parents. The glorification of aggression—admiring those who claw their way to the top, blitz the opposition, run over the competition—makes non-aggression seem bland, flat, not very pleasurable, and not very manly. Patriarchal society is unfairly blamed for all the ills in society. However, most patriarchs are not deviant. Also, the first thing people who when something grows wrong in the how is that there was not a strong role model. So, no matter what men do, they are seen to be at fault for everything that goes wrong. Nonetheless, the ideal of sex as a conjugal right is particularly evident among men who rape their wives. Research reveals that some men feel a sense of entitlement to their wives’ bodies and thus do not regard forced sex as rape. The majority of women in this sample indicated that their husbands felt a sense of ownership that gave them the sexual rights to their wives’ bodies at all times. For example, Wanda remembered that her husband tole her repeatedly “That’s my body—my ass, my tits, my body. You gave them to me when you married me and that belongs to me.” Similarly, Emily recalled that on the night her husband raped her, “he was saying something like I’m his wife and I’m supposed to have sex with him and by law I was his or something like that—his possession.” #RandolphHarris 3 of 18

When several of the women in this study informed their partners that the act they had committed was rape, the men still adamantly denied this because of their sense of sexual entitlement. For example, Rhonda’s husband told her, “You’re my wife—this ain’t rape.” When Terri confronted her partner, he said, “Girl, I didn’t rape you. How can I rape my own woman?” I have often heard other men express these kind of ideas, but they also tend to not be the most highly educated people. Often times, these ideas are shared by men who view sex as their duty and mission in life. In fact, many of us think that men who have like eight kids before the age of 40 are being reckless and making mistakes. However, they, in some cases, are doing this on purpose. Getting women pregnant is a for of control. Furthermore, the Christian Bible tells men to procreate. Also, as Dr. Darwin explained, it could also be about survival of one’s race. So not only may men get women pregnant as a form of control, it could also have something to do with their biological function. Whereas other men have different socializing. They want to be fathers, be their for their children, take care of them and establish a career, so they will usually be more careful about the number of children they produce to make sure they can afford them. There are people in society who believing in saving up for their child’s education. They want to rely as little of the government as possible. Whereas others may need government assistance or feel they are entitled to it. Nonetheless, even after eight of the women in the sample filed criminal charges against their partners for sexual assault, the majority of the men continued to deny that their actions could legally be rape. #RandolphHarris 4 of 18

When they were forbidden, for medical reason, to have sex with their partners, several women in this study said that their risk of being raped increased because their partners’ sense of entitlement was challenged. In one of the most brutal examples in my study, Stacy returned home from having a cesarean section to have this encounter with her husband, who was a physician: “I told him [my husband] I couldn’t have intercourse, and he told me ‘Skin heals in 72 hours.’ I’ll never forget that. Then he kneeled with a knee on either side of my shoulder and smacked his penis across my face and said, ‘You suck me, b*tch.’” Stacy’s husband reasserted “his rights” by forcing her to have an oral intercourse, after which he sodomized her. This sense of entitlement often lasts even after the couple is separated or divorced, as was the case with 20 percent of the women in this sample. For example, after she was separated, Lisa was raped frequently by her partner when he showed up to give his child support payments. She said, “I dreaded the weekends. It was like clockwork, and he would jut make me do it, and I knew it was coming and that made it worse.” When they are separated or divorced, women are particularly at risk of being raped because despite the dissolution of the marital bond, this sense of entitlement and the belief that their (ex) wives are their property live on. Several of the women in my sample believed that the sexual abuse was their partners’ attempt to punish either their loved ones or the women themselves. For example, Sally recalled the following exchange that occurred one night, just before her rape: “I think he thought I was his wife, and he could do anything to me, and if he wanted sex, he got sex. And he could do anything and do no wrong and I belonged to him. Like one night when my daughter came back from her date, he flipped because the boy didn’t shake his hand, and he screamed, ‘She’s never going out with him again.’ And he went on and on and said, ‘Now it’s time for you to pay. It’s time to pay up like you did the other night.’” #RandolphHarris 5 of 18

Sally was punished for the actions of her daughter’s boyfriend. Other women were raped as punishment for their own “sins,” as Natalie described here: “A lot of times it [rape] happened because he was so jealous. He always thought tht I was looking at other men. Like the time my brother and his friend—who I grew up with—were over, and he thought I was looking at his friend, and he was really mad. He started hitting me and then forced me to have sex.” Tanya remembered a similar linkage between punishment and rape: “He [her partner] would try to choke me, and then I would pass out. Then he would rape me. He would put me to sleep and then rape me. Sometimes when we were out somewhere, and he didn’t like something I did, he would ay ‘You wanna go to sleep?’ and laugh like it was real funny. It was like a punishment.” Like Natalie and Tanya, several women in this study recalled tht their partners force them “to pay” sexually as punishment. Ultimately, these women perceived the assaults as their partners’ attempt to control their behavior. The majority of women in this sample saw the sexual violence as their partners’ way to assert power and control over them. As Pam told me, “The more control he thought he was losing, the worse it got. If I got a job or I was doing good, he would take it away. He would beat me up and force me up and force me [to have sex] just to get that control back.” Nine of the women told me that their partners, in an ultimate attempt at control, raped them in order to impregnate them so they would not leave the relationship. In five cases, their partners’ efforts were successful. For example, Annabel said, “We had five children. I think he raped me to keep me pregnant all the time because he knew I would never leave the kids.” #RandolphHarris 6 of 18

Whereas some partners used pregnancy to control their wives, several women told me that their husbands were angered by their pregnancies, possibly because this represented a loss of control over them. Indeed, three women in this study talked about their partners’ attempts to make the “lost the baby” through increased violence and/or coerced abortions because they believed that their wives had been unfaithful to them. For example, Wanda recalled that her husband, “tried to force me to have an abortion because he didn’t believe it was his child….When I refused to get an abortion, he took me to [the] women’s clinic, and I was on the table and I was far enough along that the doctor said he couldn’t do it.” Although he was not successful in forcing his wife to have an abortion, her husband continued to sexually and physically abuse her throughout her pregnancy, Wanda said, possibly with the hope that she would lose the baby. In this sample, pregnancy was a factor that appeared to place women at a higher risk of being both physically and sexually abused. Researchers have noted that there is a correlation between battering and pregnancy. Women who were sexually abused by their partner were also more likely to be abused during pregnancy. One third of the women in my sample spoke about the increase in physical and sexual violence they experienced during pregnancy. The women who were raped during their pregnancies were traumatized, not only by the sexual assaults but also by the fear of how their unborn children might be affected by their partners’ violent behavior. However, most of the women felt that there was little they could do to stop the sexual abuse and their husbands’ attempts to dominate them in this way. #RandolphHarris 7 of 18

We see that there are a variety of explanations offered by women to explain the sexual violence in their lives. Furthermore, it is clear that the sexual violence the women in this sample experienced varied greatly. Indeed, no stereotypical depiction of the “average wife rape” emerges from their description. Despite individual differences among the participants’ experiences, there were similarities in how these women managed the sexual violence. Aggression is not just a matter of physiology or social conditioning, but a result of biological, psychological, and social factors operating in conjunction. Biological reductionism (assigning biology and genetics too much responsibility for bad behavior) leaves unchallenged our habit of overlooking or vastly underestimating the power of our conditioning to determine or aggressiveness. This can easily lead to an overreliance on medication to deal with aggressiveness, as if all we needed to do to truly reduce our aggressiveness was to take some pills. Where biological reductionism looks at aggression and sees not much more than “chemical imbalance” (a questionable concept that is started to lose its moorings), environmental reductionism (assigning external factors, such as family structure and cultural conditions, too much responsibility for bad behavior) looks at aggression and sees not much more than something simply requiring behavioral modification. Aggression cannot be reduced to physiology, nor to behavior, nor to cognition, nor to socialization, for it arises for each of us from a uniquely evolving weave of all these. #RandolphHarris 8 of 18

In the midst of aggression, we have an opportunity to experience the instinctual and the conditioned, the reflexive and the reflective, the biological and the biographical, all happening at the same time. We can begin with facing our aggressiveness; then unearth the anger that underlies it, developing more and more intimacy with that anger, eventually feeling deeply empowered, simultaneously vulnerable and filled with a healing courage. There is undeniable growth in such work, requiring both a keenly discerning awareness and a full “yes” to passion, bringing together heart, guts, and head in ways that sever our highest good. It is important to come to terms with the strong and powerful feelings we experience. Something is usually always very much alive in us of the pain we know. Each time some individuals try to speak of the pain they feel inside, they chock and the words never come out. It can be a struggle to say farewell to a World that one has known from the beginnings, a World of tenderness and caring, to know that with the end of a relationship, this World may never exist again. While offenders may have a chemical imbalance that causes them to abuse their wives, the life she provides for them may be the only comfort they know and that could be a reason why they fight so hard to keep it. Even though abuse does not justify their behavior. They too fear that loss of human support being sharply and suddenly gone. However, offenders need to deal with the shattering awareness that abuse is not acceptable and seek professional help to deal with the darkness and uncertainty. #RandolphHarris 9 of 18

We all have to find joy and fulfillment, and create that World on our own. It can be hard to live with this truth, with all the barriers and obstacle that others put before us. In relationships, love is supposed to flower between two individuals. We should be able to cherish one’s music, one’s joking ways, how one enters a room and stands, one’s quickness, one’s putting everything one has into what matters to that individua, and how one has been able to grow through steady persistence. This is what allows a coupe to enjoy what they share. Love should be here all the time. It should enrich one’s life, making sense of the absurdity, bringing light into the darkness, contributing to one’s life as a human being. This love goes with you into that unknown World we face everyday and comforts us with a steady presence when we face the problems and issues of living and it shines like a beacon to light one’s way back home. What is meant by growth of knowledge and growth of being? The growth of knowledge means a transition from the particular to the general, from details to the whole, from the illusory to the real. Ordinary knowledge, or what is called knowledge, is always a knowledge of details without knowledge of the whole, a knowledge of the leaves, or the veins and serrations in the leaves, without a knowledge of the tree. Real knowledge not only shows a given detail, but the place, the function and the meaning of this detail in the whole. In our ordinary knowledge there are times which bring us near to real knowledge. For instance, in the ordinary system of notation any number not only defines the power but shows the place of this power in the series of powers from zero to infinity. All real knowledge is of this nature. #RandolphHarris 10 of 18

Real knowledge comes from higher mind, that is, from the minds of men who have attained the fullest development possible for men. It is called objective knowledge, as distinct from the knowledge of ordinary men, which is called subjective knowledge. Objective knowledge is always school knowledge, that is, knowledge acquire in a school. A man cannot arrive at it with his own mind or get it from books. One of the first ideas of objective knowledge is that a knowledge of the real World is possible, but only on the condition of being able to make use of the principles of relativity and scale and then knowing of the fundamental laws of the Universe, the law of three and the law of seven. The approach to the study of objective knowledge begins with the study of an objective language. The next step is the study of oneself which begins with the understanding of man’s place in the Universe and the study of the human machines. The knowledge of oneself is both an aim and a means. A man who has not had school teaching, that is, a man of a subjective way of thinking, lives surrounded by illusions, first of all about oneself. One thinks that one has will and the possibility of choice every moment of one’s life; one thinks that one can do; one thinks that one has individuality, that is, something permanent and unchangeable; one thinks one has an “I” or an Ego likewise permanent and unchangeable; one considers oneself a conscious being and supposed that one is able to arrange life on Earth by following the indications of reason and logic; one’s usually state of consciousness, in which one lives and acts, one calls clear consciousness when in reality it is sleep. #RandolphHarris 11 of 18

In this sleep, one lives, writes books, invents theories, carries on wars, kills other sleeping people and dies oneself without even suspecting for a moment that one can wake. One does not realize the possibility of development or growth. One ascribes to oneself that which one does not possess. However, one does not know how much it is that one could acquire it. If one is a man of scientific views, one does not admit the possibility of any individual evolution of man beyond the limits of ordinary intellectual development during life. Instead one acknowledges the possibility of the evolution of man as a species and one considers such evolution to be entirely mechanical, that is, not dependent upon anybody’s will. If one is a religious man, one believes in a future life and that one is guided for one’s own good by higher powers with whom one can have intercourse by means of prayer. If one is familiar with theosophy, one believes in the law of Karma and in reincarnation; one considers that one has an astral body, a mental body and a causal body, and that through an inevitable evolution one will attain to the very highest degrees, if not on Earth, then on some other planet. If one has already understood the inadequacy and the illusory nature of scientific, religious and theosophical ideas and realizes the necessity for inner change in man, one does not realize the difficulty of this, one does not realize the necessity for lengthy and systematic efforts which are impossible without a knowledge of the human machine. It seems to one that what can come must come. However, in reality, nothing comes of itself. #RandolphHarris 12 of 18

A person must free oneself from illusions and then work to attain another being. This work requires long and systematic efforts and knowledge. In the post-apostolic period this manifested power of God continued in varying degrees, rising and subsiding. Then the forces of darkness gained, and, wit intermittent intervals and exceptions, the professing Church sank down under their power, until, in the darkest hour, which we call the Middle Ages, sins having their rise through the deceptive workings of the evil spirits of Satan were as ride as in Canaan before its conquest. Moses had written by the command of God: “Thou shalt not learn to do after the abominations of those nations. There shall not be found with thee…one that useth divination, or that practiceth augury, or an enchanter, or a sorcerer, or a charmer, or a consulter with a familiar spirit, or a wizard, or a necromancer” (Deut. 18.9-11). However, even as in Old Testament times, this admonition was again often ignored. Why Christendom in the present century doe not universally recognize the existence and workings of evil supernatural forces can only be attributed to its low condition of spiritual life and power. Even at the present time, when the existence of evil spirits is recognized by the heathen, this is often looked upon by the Western missionary as “superstition” and ignorance. Actually, such ignorance is on the part of the shepherd who is blinded by the prince of the power of the air to the revelation given in the Scriptures concerning these satanic powers. #RandolphHarris 13 of 18

The “ignorance” on the part of the heathen is in their propitiatory attitude to evil spirits. They seek to appease the spirits because of their ignorance of the gospel message of a Deliverer and Saviour sent to “proclaim release to the captives” (Luke 4.18), and who, when He was on Earth, went about healing all who were “oppressed by the devil” (Acts 10.38). He also sent His messengers to open the eyes of the bound ones, that they might “turn from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God” (Acts 26.18). If missionaries to the heathen recognized the existence of evil spirits, and that the darkness in heathen lands was caused by the prince of the power of the air (Eph. 2.2; 4.18; 1 John 5.19; 2 Cor. 4.4), and then proclaimed to the heathen the message of deliverance from the evil hosts they know so well to be real and malignant foes—this in addition to the remission of sins and victory over sin through the atoning sacrifice of Calvary—a vast change would come over the mission field in a few brief years. When it comes to brinkmanship and strikes, before an old contract expires, the union and the firm begin the negotiations for a new labor contract. However, there is n sense of urgency during this period. Work goes on, no output is sacrificed, and there is no apparent advantage to achieving an agreement sooner rather than later. It would seem that each party should wait until the last moment and state its demand just as the old contract is about to experience and a strike looms. That does happen sometimes, but often an agreement is reached much sooner. In fact, delaying agreement can be costly even during the tranquil phase when the old contract still operates. The process of negotiation has its on risk. There can be misperceptions of the other side’s impatience or outside opportunities, tensions, personality clashes, and suspicion that the other side is not bargaining in good faith. The process may break down despite the fact that both parties want it to succeed. #RandolphHarris 14 of 18

Although both sides may want the agreement to succeed, they may have different ideas about what constitutes success. The two parties do not always look forward and see the same end. They may not have the same information or share the same perspective, so they see things different. Each side must make a guess about the other’s costs of waiting. Since a side with a low waiting cost does better, it is to each side’s advantage to claim its cost is low. However, these statements will not be taken at face value; they have to be proven. The way to prove one’s waiting costs are low is to begin incurring the costs and then show you can hold out longer, or to take a greater risk of incurring the costs—lower costs make higher risks acceptable. It is the lack of a common view about where the negotiations will end that leads to the beginning of a strike. The situation is tailor-made for the exercise of brinkmanship. The union could threaten an immediate breakdown of talks followed by a strike, but strikes are very costly to union members as well. While time for continued negotiation remains, such a dire threat lacks credibility. However, a smaller threat can remain credible: tempers and tensions the union does not really want it to. If this bothers the management more than it bothers the union, it is a good strategy from the union’s perspective. The argument works the other way around too; the strategy of brinkmanship is a weapon for the stronger of the two parties—namely, the one that fears a breakdown less. Sometimes wage negotiations go on after the old contract has expired but without a strike, and work continues under the terms of the old contract. #RandolphHarris 15 of 18

This might seem to be a better arrangement, because the machinery and the worker are not idle and output is not lost. However, one of the parties, usually the union, is seeking a revision of the terms of the contract in its favor, and for it the arrangement is singularly disadvantageous. Why should the management concede? Why should it not let the negotiation spin on forever while the old contract remains in force de facto? Again the threat in the situation is the probability that the process may break down and strike may ensue. The union practices brinkmanship, but now it does so after the old contract has expired. Time for routine negotiations is past. Continued work under an expired contract while negotiations go on is widely regarded as a sign of union weakness. There must be some chance of a strike to motivate the firm to meet the union’s demands. When the strike happens, what keeps it going? They key to commitment is to reduce the threat in order to make it credible. Brinkmanship carries the strike along on a day-by-day basis. The threat never to return to work would not be credible, especially if the management comes close to meeting the union’s demands. However, waiting one more day or week is a credible threat. The loses to the workers are small than their potential gains. Provided they believe they will win (and soon), it is worth their while to wait. If the workers are correct in their beliefs, management will find it more affordable to give in and in fact should do so immediately. Hence the workers’ threat would cost them nothing. The problem is that the firm may not perceive the situation the same way. If it believes the workers are about to concede, then losing just one more day’s or week’s profits is worth getting a more favorable contract. In this way, both sides continue to hold out, and the strike continues. #RandolphHarris 16 of 18

Earlier, we talked about the risk of brinkmanship as the chance that both sides would fall together down the slippery slope. As the conflict continues, both sides risk a large loss with a small but increasing probability. It was this increasing exposure to risk that induced one side to back down. Brinkmanship in the form of a strike imposes costs differently, but the effect is the same. Instead of a small chance of  large loss, there is a large chance, even certainty, of a small loss when a strike begins. As the strike continues unresolved, the small loss grows, just as the chance of falling off the brink increases. The way to prove determination is to accept more risk or watch strike losses escalate. Only when one side discovers that the other is truly the stronger does it decide to back down. Strength can take many forms. One side may suffer less from waiting, perhaps because it has valuable alternatives; winning may be very important, perhaps because of negotiations with other unions; losing may be very costly, so that the strike losses look smaller. This application of brinkmanship applies to the bargaining between nations as well as that between firms. When the United State of America tries to get its allies to pay a greater share of the defense costs, it suffers from the weakness of negotiating while working under and expired contract. The old arrangement in which the Americans bear the brunt of the burden continues in the meantime, and the U.S.A. allies are happy to let the negotiations drag on. Can—and should—the United States of America resort to brinkmanship? #RandolphHarris 17 of 18

 Risk and brinkmanship change the process of bargaining in a fundamental way. In the earlier accounts of sequences of offers, the prospect of what  would come later induced the parties to reach an agreement on the very first round. An integral aspect of brinkmanship is that sometimes the parties do go over the brink. Breakdowns and strikes can occur. They may be genuinely regretted by both parties, but may acquire a momentum of their own and last surprisingly long. In China, wall campaigners were a traditional First Wave tool of protest in China. Early in 1989 campaigners began showing up on the walls near Beijing University, asking for more representation so they could be more like the privileged children of the party’s top leaders. Urging for broadened democracy, students thanked Premier Li Peng and others for their leadership and requested to speak with them. By late spring, that other First Wave communications team, the crowd, came into play. Using the memorial service for the late Hu Yaobang, a reformist Communist Party leader, students from Beijing universities politely asked for freedom of expression. The peaceful crowds were assured that the request would be met and thanked the government. They returned to classes. The World was impressed with how civil, kind and peaceful China was and Asian culture became more popular in America, as well as America’s interest in China. Today, the Second Wave mass media still exert enormous influence. As the World speeds deeper into the Powershift Era, the Second Wave tools of mind control, once so overwhelming, will themselves be overheled by the subversive media of tomorrow. #RandolphHarris 18 of 18

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