Flowers have expression of countenance as much as humans and animals. Some seem to smile; some have a sad expression; some are pensive and diffident; others again are plain, honest and upright, like the broad-faced sunflower and the hollyhock. The greater thing in this World is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are going. Leaders know that while their position gives them authority, their behavior earns them respect. It is consistency between words and actions that builds a leader’s credibility. What matter most is not so much in what exterior events one has been involved, as what interpretation one’s conscience has given them. The genesis of thought should reveal the intentionality of its product. This product may indeed misrepresent the underlying intention. It acquires a life of its own, which may cut many of the strings that tie it to its origin. This may be the fault of the author. One may have been unfortunate in the expressions that one chose. Yet it may also be the responsibility of one’s readers. They have not paid one enough attention; they have misread one’s words; they have understood one’s writings in a situation that was totally foreign to one’s own. They only way to check the accuracy of our judgment is to trace the growing process in which one’s doctrine was shaped. #RandolphHarris 1 of 19
Counseling seems to have an effect on the way our clients experience their family relationships. The client discovers, often to one’s great surprise, that a relationship can be lived on the basis of the real feelings, rather than on the basis of a defensive pretense. There is a deep and comforting significance to this. To discover that feelings of shame and anger and annoyance can be expressed, and that the relationship still survives, is reassuring. To find that one can express tenderness and sensitivity and fearfulness and yet not be betrayed—this is a deeply strengthening thing. It seems that part of the reason this works out constructively is that in therapy the individual learns to recognize and express one’s feelings as one’s own feelings, not as a fact about another person. Thus, to say to one’s spouse “What you are doing is all wrong,” is likely to lead only to debate. However, to say “I feel very much annoyed by what you are doing,” is to state one fact about the speaker’s feelings, a fact which no one can deny. It no longer is an accusation about another, but a feeling which exists in oneself. “You are to blame for my feelings of inadequacy” is a debatable point, but “I feel inadequate when you do thus and so” simply contributes a real fact about the relationship. #RandolphHarris 2 of 19
However, it is not only at the verbal level that this operates. The person who accept one’s own feelings within one’s self, finds that a relationship can be lived on the basis of these real feelings. Sometimes we may feel that we are negatively affecting a person and their dependence on us may make us feel that we are being dominated and controlled. This could lead one to see that the part one is playing is cowardly. However, as one begins to better understand one’s self, one will come to an inward conclusion to try to live in the relationship according to what one believes is rights, rather than in terms of the other individual’s wishes. As a result this may lead to a stupendous discovery that as we accept ourselves more, we are much more able to meet some of our own needs as well as the needs of others. One can do the things one wants to do without allow others to hold them back by coming to an understanding that there are other people who can also share the responsibility of taking care of our loved ones. Yet it is unnecessary to allow our new found freedom to allow us to become callus and selfish. We should to be affectionate towards our loved ones and make a point to try to understand what they are saying and feeling. By listening and taking advantage of our freedom, one may actually be able to enjoy their loved ones more. #RandolphHarris 3 of 19
When they feel they have no rights of their own, people become resentful of their family. It may seem as though nothing but difficulty could result from letting these feelings exist openly in the relationship. Yet one will notice that by tentatively permitting them to enter the situation one will find one’s self acting with more assurance, more integrity. The relationship improves rather than deteriorates. Most surprising of all, when the relationship is lived on the basis of the real feelings, one finds that resentment and hate are not the only feelings one has toward one’s family member. Fondness, affection and enjoyment are also feelings which enter the relationship. It seems clear that there may be moments of discord, dislike, and anger between members in a family. However, there will also be respect and understanding and liking. Family members will seem to have learned what many other clients have also learned, that a relationship does not have to be lived on a basis of pretense, but can be lived on the basis of the fluctuating variety of feelings which actually exist. From our discussion, it may seem that it is only negative feelings which are difficult to express or live. This is far true. Mr. Schneider, a young professional man, found it fully as difficult to discover the beneficial feelings which lay beneath his façade as the negative. A brief excerpt will indicate the changed quality of his relationship with this three-year-old daughter. #RandolphHarris 4 of 19
Mr. Schneider says, “The thing I was thinking about as I rode down here was—how differently I see our little girl—I was playing with her this morning—and—we just, ah, well—why is it so hard for me to get words out now? This was a really wonderful experience—very warm, and it was a happy and pleasant thing, and it seems that I saw and felt her so close to me. Here is what I think is significant—before, I could talk about Jill. I could say good things about her and funny little things she would do and just talk about her as though I were and felt like a real happy father, but there was some unreal quality…as thought I was just saying these things because I should be feeling this stuff and this is the way a father should talk about his daughter but somehow this was not really true because I did not have these negative and mixed up feelings about her. Now I do thing she is the most wonderful kid in the World.” Therapist: “Before, you felt as though ‘I should be a happy father’—this morning you are a happy father.” Mr. Schneider: “It certainly felt that way this morning. She just rolled around on the bed…and then she asked me if I wanted to go to sleep again and I said okay and then she said well, I’ll go get my blankets and then she told me a story about three stories in one, all jumbled up and it just felt like this is what I really want. I want to have this experience. #RandolphHarris 5 of 19
“It felt that I was, I felt grown up, I guess. I felt that I was a man…now this sounds strange, but it did feel as though I was a grownup responsible loving father, who was big enough, and serious enough, and also happy enough to be the father of this child. Whereas before I did feel weak and maybe almost undeserving, ineligible to be that important, because it is a very important thing to be a father.” Mr. Schneider has found I possible to accept his warm and loving feelings toward himself as a good father, and to fully accept this warm love for his little girl. He no longer has to pretend he loves her, fearful that some different feeling may be lurking underneath. I think it will not surprise you that shortly after this he told me how he could be much more free in expressing anger and annoyance at his little daughter, also. He is learning that the feelings which exist are good enough to live by. They do not have to be coated with a veneer. Experience in therapy seems to bring about another change in the way our clients live in their family relationships. They learn something about how to initiate and maintain real two-way communication. To understand another person’s thoughts and feelings thoroughly, with the meanings they have for one, and to be thoroughly understood by this other person in return—this is one of the most rewarding of human experiences, and all are too rare. #RandolphHarris 6 of 19
Individuals who have come to us for therapy often report their pleasure in discovering that such genuine communication is possible with members of their own families. In part this seems to be due, quite directly, to their experience of communication with the counselor. It is such a relief, such a blessed relaxation of defenses, to find oneself understood, that the individual wishes to create this atmosphere for others. To find, in the therapeutic relationship that one’s most awful thoughts, one’s most bizarre and abnormal feelings, one’s most ridiculous dreams and hopes, one’s most evil behaviors, can all be understood by another, is a tremendously releasing experience. One begins to see it as a resource one could extend to others. However, there appears to be an even more fundamental reason why these clients can understand members of their families. When we are living behind a façade, when we are trying to act in ways that are not in accord with our feelings, then we dare not listen freely to another. We must always have our guard up, lest one pierce the pretense of our façade. However, when a client is living in the way I have been describing, when one tends to express one’s real feelings in the situation in which they occur, when one’s family relationships are lived on the basis of the feelings which actually exist, then one is no longer defensive and one can really listen to, and understand, another member of one’s family. One can let oneself see how life appears to this other person. #RandolphHarris 7 of 19
All seeking and finding of spiritual instruction through a spiritual teacher becomes real, in the end, on a mental plane only. Therefore one should direct one’s efforts in that direction with complete faith. The difficulty which you mention about finding a teacher need not be overrated. You have within yourself a ray of God, which is your own soul. If you pray to and beseech it constantly for guidance, it will surely lead you to all that you really need to know. Those whose quest of God through a master has failed them should take this very failure as instruction on the quest itself. Let them remember that God is everywhere present, that there is no spot where God is not. Therefore, God is in them too. This indwelling presence of the Soul. Let them turn to it directly, no longer seeking someone else to act as an intermediary, no longer running here and there in search of one. Just where they are now is precisely where they may establish contact with God through their own Soul. Let them pray to it alone, mediate on it, obey its intuitive behests, and they will not need any human agent. From this moment they should look to no one else, should depend on their own forces. However, since these are lying latent within and need to be aroused, the aspirants need to exert themselves through physical regimens that will provide the energies needed for this great effort. #RandolphHarris 8 of 19
If you can find someone whose person attracts you most, or whose teachings appeal to you more than those of others, or whose writings inspire you above all other people’s writings, then make one your spiritual guide. You do not have to apply for one’s permission for it is to be done within the privacy of your own inner life. You are not dependent on one’s personal acceptance or rejection for the idea of one which you believe in and the image of one which you form to become alive and effectual. However, you will object, is not the whole process a self-deceptive one and does it not lead to worthless hallucination? We replay, it could become that if you misuse it and misinterpret it results, but it need not if you work it aright. For telepathy is a fact. Your faith in, and remembrance of, the other being lays a cable from your inner being to one’s own and there will follow back along it a response to your attitude. However, sometimes many people naively expect their teachers to be what one cannot be; too many look for a materialization of a highly imaginary fairy-tale figure of their own creation; too many wrongfully demand a miracle-working, supernaturally saint-like and sentimentally loving creature from another World. They unreasonably and unrealistically want one to look like a spectacular Angel and behave like a god untroubled by human needs. It is a surprise that they are disappointed when they find one to be just a human being, a real person. #RandolphHarris 9 of 19
A vision without a task is a dream. A task without a vision is drudgery. However, a task with vision can change the World. All problems concerning the relation of love to power and justice, individually as well as socially, become insoluble if love is basically understood as emotion. Love would be a sentimental addition to power and justice, ultimately irrelevant, unable to change either the law of justice or the structures of power. Most of the pitfalls in social ethics, political theory, and education are due to a misunderstanding of the ontological character of love. On the other hand, if love is understood in its ontological nature, its relation to justice and power is seen in a light which reveals the basic unity of the three concepts and the conditioned character of its conflicts. Life is being in actuality and love is the moving power of life. In these two sentences the ontological nature of love is expressed. They say that being is not actual without the love which drives everything that is towards everything else that is. In human’s experience of love the nature of life becomes manifest. Love is the drive towards the unity of the separated. Reunion presupposed separation of that which belongs essentially together. It would, however, be wrong to give to separation the same ontological ultimacy as to reunion. For separation presupposes an original unity. Unity embraces itself and separation, just as being comprises itself and non-being. It is impossible to unite that which is essentially separated. #RandolphHarris 10 of 19
Without an ultimate belongingness no union of one thing with another can be conceived. The absolutely strange cannot enter into a communion. However, the estranged is striving for reunion. In the loving joy about the other one the joy about one’s own self-fulfillment by the other is also present. That which is absolutely strange to me cannot add to my self-fulfillment; it can only destroy me if it touches the sphere of my being. Therefore love cannot be described as the union of the strange but as the reunion of the estranged. Estrangement presupposes original oneness. Love manifests its greatest power there where it overcomes the greatest separation. And the greatest separation is the separation of self from self. Every self is self-related and a complete self it completely self-related. It is an independent centre, indivisible and impenetrable, and therefore is rightly called an individual. The separation of a completely individualized being from any other completely individualized being is itself complete. The centre of a completely individualized being, and it cannot be made into a mere part of a higher unity. Even as a part it is indivisible and it is as such more than a part. Love reunited that which is self-centered and individual. The power of love is not something which is added to an otherwise finished process, but life has love in itself as one of its constitutive elements. #RandolphHarris 11 of 19
It is the fulfillment and the triumph of love that it is able to reunite the most radically separated beings, namely individual persons. The individual person is both most separated and the nearer of the most powerful love. God is in all things by His presence. He is in all things by His essence. Therefore, God is in all things by His power, inasmuch as all things are subject to His power; He is by His essence, inasmuch as He is present to all as the cause of their being. God’s substance is present to all thing as their cause. Knowledge and will require that the thing known should be in the one who knows, and the thing willed in the one who wills. Hence by knowledge and will things are more truly in God than God in things. However, power is the principle of acting on another; hence by power the agent is related and applied to an external thing; thus by power an agent may be said to be present to another. No other perfection, except grace, added to substance, renders God present in anything as the object known and loved; therefore only grace constitutes a special mode of God’s existence in things. There is, however, another special mode of God’s existence in beings by union, which will be treated in its own place. If appetite among physical things is of this nature, it clearly includes the mechanism of sympathy and antipathy. All concords and discords of music are (no doubt) sympathies and antipathies of sound. And so likewise in that music which we call broken music, or consort music, some consorts of instruments are sweeter than others… as the Irish harp and base viol agree well…organs and the voice agree well. #RandolphHarris 12 of 19
As we become keenly aware of the phenomenon of sympathetic vibration, in which one vibrating body will set a similar body into vibration, we will start to equate this sympathy with similitude. It seems, both in ear and eye, the instrument of sense hat a sympathy or similitude with that which gives the reflexion for as the sight of the eye is like a crystal, or glass, or water; so is the ear a sinuous cave, with a hard bone to stop and reverberate the sound; which is like to the places that report echoes. Such useful and sound inferences as may be drawn from observing the resemblances of objects in motion might well be handled as consents and aversions. Operations that are deeply hid, as sympathies often are, invite superstition and abuse by magicians and alchemists. I am almost weary of the words sympathy and antipathy on account of the superstitions and vanities associated with them. Furthermore, what are called occult and specific properties, or sympathies and antipathies, are in great part corruptions of philosophy. Strife and friendship in nature are the spurs of motions and the keys of work. From them are derived the union and repulsion of bodies, the mixture and separation of parts, the deep and intimate impressions of virtues [exempli gratia, innate forces and strengths], and that which is termed the junction of actives with passives; in a word, the magnolia nature. #RandolphHarris 13 of 19
The power of correlative forces—what is active is potentially passive and what is passive is potentially active—was widely accepted, and is to be seen among the presuppositions of grammar, logic, and the nature of the intellect. There cannot be, however much hope of discovering the consent of things before the discovery of Forms and Simple Configurations. All natural bodies exercise a sort of choice in receiving what is agreeable, and avoiding what is hostile and foreign. The magnet attracts iron, the body assimilates food and rejects wastes, humours and juices course up and down the body, the heart and pulse beat—all thee and many other things are done without sense. Some bodies and substances near each other seem to feel or perceive each other’s presence. They move in relation to each other only if a reciprocal perception precede the operation. A body perceives the passages by which it enters; it perceives the force of another body to which it yields; it perceives the removal of another body which held it fast, when it recovers itself; it perceives the disruption of its continuity, which for a time it resists; in short there is Perception everywhere. These illustrations of perception are also illustrations of consent, and we focus on the aspect of experience that is at least close to touch and feeling. It is difficult to see that perception calls attention to anything that has not already been described under sense activity, consent, and appetite. #RandolphHarris 14 of 19
Certainly, we cannot mean to endow all nature with universal sensation, for we censure persons who, with perception in mind have gone too far, and attributed sense to all bodies. “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” reports Romans 8.32. The fact that God deals with His children on the basis of grace without regard to merit or demerit is a staggering concept. It is opposed to almost everything we have been taught about life. We have been generally conditioned to think that if we work hard and “pay our dues” in life, we will be rewarded in proportion to our work. “You do so much, you deserve so much” is a commonly accepted principle in life. However, God’s grace does not operate on a reward for works basis. It is much better than that. God is generous beyond all measure or comparison. The Scripture says, “God so love the World that he gave his one and only Son;” and Paul spoke of this as God’s “indescribable gift” (John 3.16, 2 Corinthians 9.15). God’s inexpressible generosity, however, does no stop at saving us; it provides for all our needs and blessings throughout our entire lives. As Paul said in Romans 8.32, “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” Paul used the argument of the greater to the lesser to teach us God’s generosity. #RandolphHarris 15 of 19
Paul said if God gave His Son for our salvation (the greater), will He not also give us all blessings (the lesser)? No blessing we will ever receive can possibly compared with the gift of God’s Son to die for us. God demonstrated Hid gracious generosity to the ultimate at the cross. And Paul based the assurance that we can expect God to meet all our other needs throughout life on the fact that God has already met our greatest need. Note that Paul said God will graciously or feely give us all things. Just as salvation is given freely to all who trust in Christ, so all blessings are given freely to us, also through faith in Christ. Just as you cannot earn your salvation but must receive it as a gift, so you cannot earn the blessings of God but must receive them also as gifts given through Christ. When a man commits himself to love his wife “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” he will ever be faithful to her. One thing the Church can count on is the fidelity of the Bridegroom. And this is the one thing a wife whose husband loves like Christ can rest on. Above all let him [the groom] preserve towards her an inviolable faith, and an unspotted chastity, for this is the marriage ring, it ties two hearts by an eternal band; it is like the cherubim’s flaming sword set for the guard of paradise. Chastity is the security of love, and preserves all the mysteriousness like the secrets of a temple. Under this lock is deposited security of families, the union of affections, the repairer of accidental breaches. #RandolphHarris 16 of 19
The word of God shall stand forever. There is something eternal to which we can cling: Be not afraid, the Lord God shall come with strong hand. So the wave rises, and then again it falls: the nations are as a drop of water and a piece of dust; all the nations are as nothing before God, they are counted as less than nothing. Again the wave rises: God stands above the circle of the Earth, above all created things, above the highest and the lowest! And when once more the wave falls and the servant of God complains that one does not receive justice from God, the answer is that God acts beyond human expectations. He gives power to the faint and to one that hath no might God increaseth strength. God acts paradoxically; He acts beyond human understanding. “I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this World, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect,” reports Romans 12.1-2. We all want to know God’s will, but this text is telling us we cannot unless we present our bodies, including our soul and minds, to the Lord for transformation and renewal! By “presenting our bodies,” Paul means we must be available to do the hard work of understanding what God has said in His Word and take the time to study it in order to have our minds transformed. #RandolphHarris 17 of 19
Hear us, O never-failing Light, Lord our God, our only Light, the Fountain of light, the Light of Thine Angles, Thrones, Dominions, Principalities, Powers, and of all intelligent beings; Who has created the light of Thy Saints. May our souls be lamps of Thine, kindled and illuminated by Thee. May they shine and burn with the truth, and never go out in darkness and ashes. May we by Thy house, shining from Thee, shining in Thee; may we shine and fail not; may we ever worship Thee; in Thee may we be kindled, and not be extinguished. Being filled with the splendor of Thy Son our Lord Jesus Christ, may we shine forth inwardly; may the gloom of sins be cleared away, and the light of perpetual faith abide within us. “O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this bread to the souls of all those who partake of it; that they may eat in remembrance of the body of thy Son, and witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son, and always remember him, and keep his commandments which he hath given them, that they may always have his Spirit to be with them. Amen,” reports Moroni 4.3. O Father of Jesus, help me to approach thee with deepest reverence, not with presumption, not with servile fear, but with holy boldness. Thou art beyond the grasp of my understanding, but not beyond my love. Thou knowest that I love thee supremely, for thou art supremely adorable, good, perfect. #RandolphHarris 18 of 19
My heart melts as the love of Jesus, my brother, bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, married to me, dead for me, risen for me; God is mine and I am His, given to me as well as for me; I am never so much mine as when I am his, or so much lost to myself until lost in him; then I find my true humanity. However, my love is frost and cold, ice and snow; let His love warm me, lighten my burden, be my Heaven; may it be more revealed to me in all its influences that my love to Him maybe more fervent and glowing; let the might tide of His everlasting love cover the rocks of my sin and care; then let my spirit float above those things which had else wrecked my life. Make me fruitful by living to that love, my character becoming more beautiful every day. If traces of Christ’s love-artistry be upon me, may he work on with his divine brush until the complete image be obtained and I be made perfect copy of Him, my Master. O Lord Jesus, some to me, O Divine Spirit, rest upon me, O Holy Father, look on me in mercy for the sake of he well-beloved. O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee, in he name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify our souls, so that we make remember Christ and his Spirit always be with us. May we truly repent of all our sins and be cleansed by the power of the Holy Ghost. And God keep us in the right way, keep us continually watchful unto prayer, relying alone upon the merits of Christ, who is the author and the finisher of our faith. #RandolphHarris 19 of 19
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