Wait till I get finished with this place, I will have electricity everywhere. And these windows will have properly fitted glass. Maybe they will have screens as well. And these plank floors will be covered with marble tiles. No, this shall be a small Roman palace, what with even more elaborate Roman furniture, and the stove, I shall get a new stove. And then if I am trapped out here, I will have delicious pillows on a couch on which to sleep, and plenty of books to read by fine lights. At the age of seventeen, and in time of war, one does not join a revolutionary movement which is persecuted by the government, unless one’s motives are serious. I grew up in a mountainous district of southern Italy. The phenomenon which most impressed me, when I arrived at the age of reason, was the violent contrast, the incomprehensible, absurd, monstrous contrast between family and private life—in the main decent, honest, and well-conducted—and social relations, which were very often crude and full of hatred and deceit. Many terrifying stories are known of the misery and desperation of the southern provinces (I have told some myself), but I do not intend to refer now to events that caused a stir, so much as to the little occurrences of daily life. It was these commonplace minor events that showed up the strange double existence of the people among whom I grew up, the observation of which was one of the agonizing secrets of my adolescence. #RandolphHarris 1 of 13

I was a child just five years old when, one Sunday, while crossing the little square of my native village with my mother leading me by the hand, I witnessed the cruel, stupid spectable of one of the local gentry setting his great dog at a poor woman, a seamstress, who was just coming out of church. The wretched woman was flung to the ground, badly mauled, and her dress was torn to ribbons. Indignation in the village was general, but silent. I have never understood how the poor woman ever got the unhappy idea of taking proceedings against the squire; but the only result was to add a mockery of justice to the harm already done. Although, I must repeat, everybody pitied her and many people helped her secretly, the unfortunate woman could not find a single witness prepared to give evidence before the magistrate, nor a lawyer to conduct the prosecution. On the other hand, the squire’s supposedly left-wing lawyer turned up punctually, and so did a number of bribed witnesses who perjured themselves by giving a grotesque version of what had happened, and accusing the woman of having provoked the dog. The magistrate—and most worthy, honest person in private life—acquitted the squire and condemned the poor woman to pay the costs. #RandolphHarris 2 of 13

“It went very much against the grain with me,” he excused himself a few days later at our house. “On my word of honor, I do assure you, I was very sorry about it. But even if I had been present at the disgusting incident as a private citizen and could not have avoided blaming him, still as a judge I had to go by the evidence of the case, and unfortunately it was in favor of the dog.” “A real judge,” he used to love to say, sententiously, “must be able to conceal his own egotistic feelings, and be impartial.” “Really, you know,” my mother used to comment, “it is a horrible profession. Better to keep ourselves to ourselves at home. My son,” she used to say to me, “when you grow up, be whatever you like, but not a judge.” I can remember other typical little incidents like that of the squire, the dog, and the seamstress. However, I should not like to suggest, by quoting such episodes, that we were ignorant of the sacred concepts of Justice and Truth or that we held them in contempt. On the contrary; at school, in church, and at public celebrations they were often discussed with eloquence and veneration, but in rather abstract terms. To define our curious situation more exactly, I should add that it was based on a deception of which all of us, even the children, were aware; and yet it still persisted, being built on something quite apart from the ignorance and stupidity of individuals. #RandolphHarris 3 of 13

I remember a lively discussion one day in my catechism class between the boys who were being prepared for confirmation and the parish priest. The subject was a marionette show at which we boys had been present with the priest the day before. It was about the dramatic adventures of a child who was persecuted by the devil. At one point the child-marionette had appeared on the stage trembling with fear and, to escape the devil who was searching for him, had hidden under a bed in a corner of the stage; shortly afterward the devil-marionette arrived and looked for him in vain. “But he must be here,” said the devil-marionette. “I can smell him. Now I will ask these good people in the audience.” And he turned to us and asked: “My dear children, have you by any chance seen that naughty child I am looking for, hiding anywhere?” “No, no, no,” we all chorused at once, as energetically as possible. “Where is he then? I cannot see him,” the devil insisted. “He’s left, he’s gone away,” we all shouted. “He’s gone to Lisbon.” (In our part of Italy, Lisbon is still the furthermost pint of the globe, even today.) I should add that none of us, when we went to the theater, had expected to be questioned by a devil-marionette; our behavior was therefore entirely instinctive and spontaneous. And I imagine that children in any other part of the World would have reacted in the same way. However, our parish priest, a most worthy, cultured and pious person, was not altogether pleases. #RandolphHarris 4 of 13

We had told a lie, he warned us wit a worried look. We had told it for good ends, of course, but still it remained a lie. One must never tell lies. “Not even to the devil?” we asked in surprise. “A lie is always a sin,” the priest replied. “Even to the magistrate?” asked one of the boys. The priest rebuked him severely. “I am here to teach you Christian doctrine and not to talk nonsense. What happens outside the church is no concern of mine.” And he began to explain the doctrine about truth and lies in general in the most eloquent language. However, that day the question of lies in general was of no interest to us children; we wanted to know, “Ought we to have told the devil where the child was hiding, yes or no?” “That is not the point,” the poor priest kept repeating to us rather uneasily. “A lie is always a lie. It might be a big sin, a medium sin, an average sin, or a little tiny sin, but it is always a sin. Truth must be honored.” “The truth is,” we said, “that there was the devil on one side and the child on the other. We wanted to help the child, that’s the real truth.” “But you have told a lie,” the parish priest repeating. “For good ends, I know, but still a lie.” To end it, I put forward an objection of unheard-of perfidy, and, considering my age, considerable precocity: “If it’s been a priest instead of a child,” I asked, “what ought we have replied to the devil?” #RandolphHarris 5 of 13

The parish priest blushed, avoided a reply, and, a punishment for my impertinence, made me spend the rest of the lesson on my knees beside him, “Are you sorry?” he asked me at the end of the lesson. “Of course,” I replied. “If the devil asks me for your address, I’ll give it to him at once.” It was certainly unusual for a discussion in such terms to take place in a catechism class, although free discussion was quite frequently in our family circle and among our friends. However, this intellectual liveliness did not even create a stir in the humiliating and primitive stagnation of our social life. This vicious circle formed by the various implications of the neurotic need for affection may be roughly schematized as follows: anxiety; excessive need for affection, including demands for exclusive and unconditional love; a feelings of rebuff if these demands are not fulfilled; reaction to the rebuff with intense hostility; need to repress the hostility because of fear of losing the affection; the tension of a diffuse rage; increased anxiety; increased need for reassurance. Thus the very means which serve to reassure against anxiety create in turn new hostility and new anxiety. The formation of a vicious circle is typical not only in the context in which it has been discussed here; generally speaking it is one of the most important processes in neuroses. #RandolphHarris 6 of 13

Any protective device may have, in addition to its reassuring quality, the quality of creating new anxiety. A person may take to drinking in order to allay one’s anxiety, and then get the fear that drinking, too, will harm one. Or one may become involved of the pleasures of the flesh alone in order to release one’s anxiety, and then get the fear that drinking, too, will harm one. Or one may become involved in solo pleasures of the flesh in order to release one’s anxiety, and then become afraid that solo pleasures of the flesh will make one ill. Or one may undergo some treatment for one’s anxiety, and soon grow apprehensive lest the treatment harm one. The formation of vicious circles is the main reason why severe neuroses are bound to become worse, even though there is no change in external conditions. Uncovering the vicious circles, with all their implications, is one of the important tasks of psychoanalysis. The neurotic oneself cannot grasp them. One notices their results only in the form of a feeling that one is trapped in a hopeless situation. This feeling of being trapped is one’s response to entanglements which one cannot break through. Any way that seems to lead out drags one again into new dangers. The question arises as to what ways are open, despite all the internal difficulties, for the neurotic to obtain the affection one is determined to have. #RandolphHarris 7 of 13

There are really two problems to be solved: first, how to obtain the necessary affection; and second, how to justify to oneself and to others the demands for it. We may roughly describe the various possible means of getting affection as: bribery; an appeal to pity; an appeal to justice; and finally threats. Such a classification, of course, like all such enumerations of psychological factors, is not rigidly categorical but is only an indication of general trends. These various means are not mutually exclusive. Several of them may be employed simultaneously or in alternation, depending on the situation as well as on the entire character structure, and depending on the degree of hostility. In fact the sequence in which these four means of obtaining affection are cited indicates an increasing degree of hostility. When a neurotic attempts to obtain affection by bribery one’s motto could be described as, “I love you dearly therefore you should love me in return, and give up everything for the sake of my love.” The fact that in our culture such tactics are employed more frequently by women than by men is a result of the conditions under which women have lived. For centuries love has not only been women’s special domain in life, but in fact has been the only or main gateway through which they could attain what they desired. While beings grew up with the conviction that if they wanted to get somewhere, they had to achieve something in life. #RandolphHarris 8 of 13

Some women realized that through love, and through love alone, they could attain happiness security and prestige. This difference in cultural positions has had a momentous influence on the psychic development of man and woman. It would be inopportune to discuss this influence in the present context, but one of its consequences is that in neuroses women more frequently than men will use love as a strategy. And at the same time the subjective conviction of love serves as a justification for making demands. Persons of this type are in a particular danger of falling into a painful dependency in their love relationships. Assume, for example, that a woman with a neurotic need for affection clings to a man of a similar type, who withdraws, however, as soon as she approaches him; the woman reacts to such rejection with intense hostility, which she represses for fear of losing him. If she tries to withdraw herself he will again start to court her favor. She then not only represses her hostility but covers it up with an intensified devotion. She will again be rejected and again react, eventually with enhanced love. Thus she will gradually become convinced that she is possessed by an unconquerable “grand passion.” #RandolphHarris 9 of 13

Another device that may be considered a form of bribery is the attempt to win affection by understanding a person, helping one in one’s mental or professional development, straightening out one’s difficulties, and the like. This is in common use by both men and women. A second means of obtaining affection is by appealing to pity. The neurotic will being one’s suffering and helplessness to the attention of others, the motto here being, “You ought to love me because I suffer and am helpless.” At the same time the suffering serves as justification for the right to make excessive demands. Sometimes such an appeal will be made quite openly. A patient will point out that one is the sickest patient and therefore has the greatest right to the analyst’s attention. He may be scornful of other patients who present a surface appearance of better health. And he resents other persons who are more successful than one in using this strategy. In appealing to pity more or less hostility may be intermingled. The neurotic may make a simple appeal to our good nature, or one may extort favors by radical means, as by involving oneself in a disastrous situation which compels our assistance. Everyone who has had anything to do with neurotics in social or medical work knows the importance of this strategy. #RandolphHarris 10 of 13

There is a great difference between the neurotic who explains one’s predicament in a matter-of-fact way, and the one who tries to arouse pity by a dramatic demonstration of one’s complaints. We may find the same trends in children of all ages, with the same variations: the child may either want to be consoled for some complaint or may try t extort attention by unconsciously developing a situation terrifying to the parents, such as an inability to ear or urinate. The use of the appeal to pity presupposed a conviction of inability to obtain love in any other manner. This conviction may be rationalized as a general disbelief in affection, or it may take the form of a belief that in the particular situation affection cannot be had in any other way. In the third means of obtaining affection—the appeal to justice—the motto can be described as: “This I have done for you; what will you do for me?” In our culture mothers will often point out that they have done so much for their children that they are entitled to unflagging devotion. In love relations the fact of having yielded to wooing may be used as a basis for claims. Persons of this type are often overready to do things for others, with the secret expectation that they will receive in return everything they wish, and they are seriously disappointed if the others are not equally willing to do something for them. #RandolphHarris 11 of 13

I am referring here not to persons who are consciously calculating, but to those whom any conscious expectation of possible reward is entirely foreign. Their compulsive generosity can perhaps more accurately be described as a magic gesture. They do to others what they want others to do to them. It is the inordinately sharp sting of disappointment which indicates that expectations of a return were factually at work. Sometimes they keep a sort of mental bookkeeping account, in which they give themselves inordinate credit for sacrifices that are really useless, such as lying awake all night, but minimize or even ignore what has been done for them, thus so falsifying the situation that they feel entitled to demand special attention. This attitude leads to repercussions on the neurotic oneself, for one may become extremely afraid of incurring obligations. Instinctively judging others by oneself, one fears that others might exploit one if one accepted any favors from them. Now let us recall the words of God in the story of the Flood: “I am sorry that I have made man.” They introduce a new element into our thinking about humans and the Earth—an element of judgment, frustration, and tragedy. There is no theme in Biblical literature, nor in any other, more persistently pursed than this one. “And thus Satan did lead away the hearts of the people to do all manner of iniquity; therefore they had enjoyed peace but a few years,” reports 3 Nephi 6. 16. #RandolphHarris 12 of 13

 The Earth has been cursed by beings innumerable times, because she produced him, together with all life and its misery, which includes the tragedy of human history.  This accusation of the Earth sounds through our whole contemporary culture, and understandably so. We accuse her in all our artistic expressions, in novels and drama, in painting and music, in philosophical thought and descriptions of human nature. However, even more important is the silent accusation implied in our cynical denunciation of those who would say “yes” to life, in our withdrawal from it into the refuges of mental disturbance and disease, in our forcing of life beyond itself or below itself by drugs and the various methods of intoxication, or in the social drugs of banality and conformity. In all these ways we accuse the destiny that placed us in this Universe and upon this planet. “Thou dost crown one wit glory and honor,” says the psalmist. However, many of us long to get rid of that glory and wish we had never possessed it. We yearn to return to the state of creatures, which are unaware of themselves and their World, limited to the satisfaction of their animal needs. “Some were lifted up in pride, and others were exceedingly humble; some did return railing for railing, while others would receive railing and persecution and all manner of afflictions, and would not turn and revile again, but were humble and penitent before God,” reports 3 Nephi 6.13. #RandolphHarris 13 of 13