If you think that I am going to explain to you how this was done, or anything about it, you are wrong. Psychologists have traditionally been much more interested in psychological illness than in psychological health. Many people focus heavily on mental illness, but few shed light on what a picture of mental health looks like. People do not seem to really be interested of dealing with mental health, but they tend to love to focus on mental illness more. Of course, this greater attention to disease and malfunction is not just an oddity of the psychological profession. Most of us pay little attention to our health when it is good, just as we pay little attention to our automobile as long as it is running well. It is when we are physically ill tat our body comes to our notice, and it is usually when we are a bit upset and anxious that we become self-conscious; wen we are just being our natural self we are in good health mentally. In brief, disease is more vivid and more noticeable than efficient functioning, and consequently has had more scientific attention paid to it. This natural tendency to give more notice to the pathological resulted in a relative neglect in psychological theory of the conditions and characteristics that define psychological health. However, we should also look at the more heroic human reactions to terrible stress and look at the beneficial sides of human nature and the unusual vitality of human beings rather than just focusing on disease. #RandolphHarris 1 of 10

Psychological health has always been defined so negatively, in terms of what is present when health is absent. Clearly ineffective persons usually possess traits which display confusion and uncertainty. However, people who are competent tend to be conscientious, well-behaved, and responsible. Effective subjects are also independent and fair-minded. However, we must avoid any implication that the healthy person psychologically must necessarily be a good person morally. For the most part it is probably a healthy thing to be well behaved, and as a rule we are in better health when we are cool and collected than when we are agitated. However, there are times when it is a sign of greater health to be unruly, and an implication of greater inner resources to be able to upset one’s own balance and to seek a new order of selfhood. The ability to permit oneself to become disorganized is in my judgment quite crucial to the development of a very high level of integration. Because we are capable of reflecting upon ourselves, we are committed, willy-nilly, to an artistic enterprise in the creation of our own personality. By our very nature as intelligent beings, we are compelled to make an image of ourselves which will be coherent and of enduring recognizability, to us and others. One judges the degree of success of this inevitable reflective act by precisely the criteria with which one judges a work of art, or a scientific theory at that level of generality where science and art alike are concerned with problems of universal validities. #RandolphHarris 2 of 10

A person may be said to be most elegant, and most healthy, when one’s awareness includes the broadest possible aspects of human experience, and the deepest possible comprehension of them, while at the same time one is most simple and direct in one’s feelings, thoughts, and actions. Certain fact concerning temporary upset and agitation in especially healthy or potentially healthy persons can this be explained in terms of the creative act necessary in order to achieve integration at the most complex level. A certain amount of discord and disorder must be permitted into the perceptual system if a more complex synthesis is to result. Usually, of course, some discord is brought in by new experiences that are common to all of us. At some time in life there arises also what might he called the crisis in belief, in which it becomes necessary to re-examine the basis of one’s religious or philosophical beliefs, and to come to some sort of explanation for oneself of what the Universe is all about and what life itself signifies. The choice of a life work and the choice of a life mate are two other nearly Universal crises. The more energy a person has at one’s disposal, the more fully will one become committed to the most complex possible integration. In this connection I think it is important to remember that intelligence is a form of energy. The capacity to symbolize, to create a valid image of reality, is the peculiarly human energy, the triumphant form of energy in the living World. #RandolphHarris 3 of 10

The image of the self is a complicated pattern, an artistic endeavor, as I have suggested, to which we are committed whether we will or no. In psychological sickness our image of ourself blurs, the colors run, it is not integrated or beautiful.  We become conscious of its existence momentarily, and hence awkwardness ensures. However, in health there is no awkwardness, for the moment of health is the moment of conscious creative synthesis, when without thinking about it at all we know that we make sense to ourselves and to others. In the most elegant cases, this synthesis involves a tremendous interpenetration of symbols, drawn from pleasures of the flesh, our philosophy, and the meaning of our work, with complex overdetermination of actions and feelings which are themselves expressively simple. When such simplicity and complexity has been achieved, I think that two new and mist important affects come into existence in the individual’s experience. One of these is the feeling that one is free and that life and its outcome are in one’s own hands. The other is a new experience of the passage of time, and a deeper sense of relaxed participation in the present moment. All of experience is consequently permanent at the very moment of its occurrence, and life ceases to be a course between birth and death and becomes instead a fully realized experience of change in which every single state is as valid and as necessary as every other. #RandolphHarris 4 of 10

It is one of the more puzzling facets of human existence that we often avoid those experiences that we most desire. We long to give and receive expressions of love, but at the critical moment we frequently back away. And in a similar way we frustrate ourselves in many of our strongest desires, such as our wish to be free and spontaneous in our actions. Our avoidance of longed-for experiences is rooted in fear. We are, as we shall see, afraid of freedom, afraid of pleasures of the flesh, and afraid of being ourselves with other people. And the most basic of all these fears is our fear of emotional closeness with others; in a word, live. Most of us would like to find more satisfaction and less frustration in our personal and family lives. If we can become more aware of our fear of love, the role it plays in our loves, and where it came from, this awareness can help us begin to move in that direction where we find more satisfaction in life. If we can discover that our other fears are the handmaidens of our fear of love, adding and abetting our avoidance of the experience of intimacy, it will also help us to return to an equilibrium. At the first glance the idea that we are afraid to love does not seem to make sense. And while it may not be easy to understand it intellectually, it is even more difficult for many of us to become emotionally aware of this fear within us. Yet there seems to be no better explanation for the fact that moments of feeling very close to another person are rare and short-lived. #RandolphHarris 5 of 10

Sometimes the previous warmth may be replaced by emotional distance, and could even appear to have been supplanted by coldness. Why do such experiences occur? The answer appears to be that the experience of love frightens us, even though we may not be aware of our fear. This fear of closeness is felt so intensely and is present in all of us, although some of us are less frightened than others. And if we can become aware of the fear of intimacy within ourselves, a good deal will have been accomplished, for awareness of ourselves and of our fear of love is a step in the direction of emotional health because it opens the door to the possibility of dealing creatively with the fear rather than being blindly enslaved to it. Why does emotion closeness to others frighten us? The explanation is possessed in the fact that caring always involves vulnerability. When we open ourselves and permit another person to know that we love him or her, we risk being hurt. And because we know how it feels to be hurt, this risk is frightening. Everyone has probably experienced feelings similar to those of someone in throes of marital difficulties who declares, “I do not ever want to care for anyone that much again! It just hurts too much.” The vulnerability of the lover is inescapable in every sphere of human relationships. #RandolphHarris 6 of 10

So striking is the relationship between love and vulnerability that it can be stated almost mathematically. The closer we are emotions to another human being and the more openly we express our caring, the more open we are to the possibility of being hurt by that person and the more intensely the hurt will be felt. And it is this possibility that frightens us and keeps us wary about establishing close relationships. The probabilities are that we will experience some of the hurt that we fear when we risk love. If we established significant and close relationships, we will sometimes be disappointed by those we life. If we share confidences, we will sometimes be betrayed. If we count on people, they will sometimes let us down. If we express warmth, others will sometimes seem indifferent or even cold. It works the other way, too, of course. It is inevitable that we will sometimes hurt those who love us, even though we also love them. Sometimes we will be fully aware of what we are doing and yet seem unable to stop ourselves. At other times we will not recognize, at the moment at least, the fact that we are inflicting hurt. What it comes down to is that all of us appear unable to enjoy very long periods of closeness. The vulnerability of it is so frightening that one or the other of us finds some way of interrupting it. At such times it is almost as though at some deep level of our beings we find it necessary to say, “Sooner or later I am going to be hurt by this one whom I love, therefore I must hurt first!” #RandolphHarris 7 of 10

We of course do not mean that hatred or resentment in themselves are good things, or that the mark of the healthy person is how much one hates. Nor do we mean that the goal of development is that everyone hates one’s parents or those in authority. Hatred and resentment are destructive emotions and the sign of maturity is to transform them into constructive emotions. However, the fact that the human being will destroy something—generally in the long run oneself—rather than surrender one’s freedom proves how important freedom is. Because hatred and resentment do not fit the ideal picture of the benign, self-controlled, ever-poised, well-adjusted bourgeois citizen, as a consequence, these emotions are generally repressed. Now it is a well-known psychological tendency that when we repress one attitude or emotion, we often counterbalance it by acting or assuming an attitude on the surface which is just the opposite. You may, for example, often find yourself acting especially politely toward the person you dislike. If you are relatively free from anxiety, you may be saying to yourself in this formal politeness, quoting from St. Paul, I treat my enemy well in order to heap coals of fire on one’s head.” #RandolphHarris 8 of 10

However, if you are a less secure person who has to confront more difficult problems in development, you may try to persuade yourself that you love this very person you hate. It is not unusual that a person who is excessively dependent upon a dominating person or authority figure, for example, will act toward the other as through one loved the individual to cover up one’s hatred. Like a boxer in a clinch, one clings to the very one who is the enemy. In real life one does not get rid of hatred and resentment this way; one generally displaces the emotions on other people, or turns them inward in self-hate. It is thus crucial that we be able to confront our hatred openly. And it is even more essential that we face our resentment, since that is the form hatred generally takes in polite and civilized life. Most people in our society, on looking into themselves, may not be aware of any particular hatred, but they no doubt will find a good deal of resentment. Perhaps the reason that resentment is such a common, chronic corrosive emotion in this age for information of individual competitiveness is that hatred has been so generally suppressed. Furthermore, if we do not confront our hatred and resentment openly, they will tend sooner or later to turn into the one affect which never does anyone any good, namely self-pity. Self-pity is the reserved form of hatred and resentment. #RandolphHarris 9 of 10

One can then nurse one’s hatred, and retain one’s psychological balance by means of feeling sorry for oneself, confronting oneself with the thought of what a tough lot has been one’s, how much one has had to suffer—and refrain from doing anything about it. Many people rebel against the denial of freedom but never can get fully beyond the stage of rebellion. Middle classes are shot through with suppressed resentment, and it emerges indirectly in the form of morals. Resentment is at the core of our morals. Anyone in our day who wishes an illustration of so-called morality motivated by resentment need look no farther than gossip in small town. No one can arrive at real love or morality or freedom until one has frankly confronted and worked through one’s resentment. Hatred and resentment should be used as motivations to re-establish one’s genuine freedom: one will not transform those destructive emotions into constructive ones until one does this. And the first step is to know whom or what one hates. To take, for an example, people under dictatorial government, the first step in their revolt to regain freedom would be their shifting back their hatred to the dictatorial powers themselves. Hatred and resentment temporarily preserve the person’s inner freedom, but sooner or later one must use the hatred to establish one’s freedom and dignity in reality, else one’s hated will destroy oneself. The aim is to hate in order to win the new. #RandolphHarris 10 of 10