My holy of holies is the human body, health, intelligence, talent, inspiration, love and the most absolute freedom imaginable, freedom from violence and lies, no matter what form the latter two take. The phrase essential need is meaningless, because in practice people need what they want. Needs are determined less by the biological requirements of Homo sapiens than by the social environment in which a person lives and especially that in which one has been brought up. The members of a given social group generally come to desire, and consequently develop a need for, whatever is necessary for acceptance in the group. The good life is identified with the satisfaction of these needs, whatever their biological relevance. The difficulties of a love relationship stem largely from too little experience with loving, starting within the family. A growth in the ability to love comes from more experience with loving. When an individual has achieved some freedom, has begun to recognize the self one wants to become, and is able to influence one’s growth toward that self, one also has begun to understand the nature of love better, if only because one’s relationship with one’s self has become warmer and more accepting. One thus is better able to experience love. Owning our uncertainty makes us kinder, more creative, and more alive. #RandolphHarris 1 of 5

Love for humanity still carries with it the characteristics and prerequisites of love in general, but its participants and expressions are specialized. A love for humanity occurs between equals, peers, or those who can give and take in somewhat the same way and in about equal shares. The child learns much about living life as one interacts with one’s own siblings. From older brothers, both boys and girls learn much of what it means to be male, just as sisters indirectly teach younger children about femaleness. Because a child may be scaled down more to one’s size or level, one may learn more naturally from a brother or sister than from a parent or teacher. Certainly the skills of communication and play are learned in this kind of interchange. Although the only child is not automatically doomed to a tragic life because one does not have such built-in playmate-teachers, one does seem to have more difficulty acquiring some of the social skills. Many people report that what goes on between or among their children scarcely resembles loving behavior. They see mostly good communication, cheerfulness, encouragement, sharing, understanding, and some uplifting advice. Therefore, there are benefits to have a close family bond. The ordinary play in children and young adults involves the testing and trying out of the self that will enable the self to grow and mature. #RandolphHarris 2 of 5

Youth is a good laboratory in which the individual can get some idea of what it is like to be a fully functioning adult, especially a social adult. Even when there is disagreement and on rare occasions some quarreling, it can prepare an individual for some of the hostile and competitive interaction that our particular society seems to prize, or at least need. One of the fortunate by-produce of family living and the love it shares is a sense of kindship, of fellow-feeling. This feeling is one of the important attributes of the self-actualizing person. Developed by experiencing it with the ones around us, kinship gradually becomes a broader, more inclusive experience of identification and empathy with others. The love God speaks of is the kind that enter our hearts when we awake in the morning, stays with us throughout the day, and swells in our hearts as we give voice to our prayers of gratitude at evening’s end. This is the inexpressible love Heavenly Father has for us. It is this endless compassion that allows us to more clearly see others for who they are. Through the lens of pure love, we see immortal beings of infinite potential and worth and beloved sons and daughters of Almighty God. #RandolphHarris 3 of 5

Not all of our motives are inborn physiological needs, or even physiological/social needs, however. Many of our motives are based on social-personal-situational learning experiences, especially needs for affection and achievement. If there is one characteristic that seems to distinguish humans from other organisms, it is the way in which the human brain is organized. We see that the higher up the evolutionary ladder we go, the less concentration there is on antiquated brain functions (instincts, drives, reflexes—though we cannot live without these!). What augments or replaces these more primitive functions are the functions of the new brain, the cortex: learning, memory, imagination, abstract reasoning, and the other cognitive skills. Therefore, we must find other explanations for why people do what they do. Youth is a time when people need more love and appreciation than ever before, and they may not always seem very lovable. Praise is necessary, though, and so are material rewards—medals, trophies, rings, pins, gold stars, cash bonuses, and so forth. However, more important tan any of these are the approval, support, and encouragement of the people the youth considers important. Some of us are intensely sensitive to the people around us, constantly checking out just how much influence they have on other people and situations. What may appear to be a strong need for dominance, risk-taking, leadership is actually a need to test out the emerging and growing sense of self.  #RandolphHarris 4 of 5

People who fail to experience enough success and whose self-concept fails to develop may grow into adulthood with gaps in their personality. However, for those who seek, allow, and live for it, the dawn of faith, sometimes gradually will come or can return and overpower deficiency-motivated behavior. Have you ever had opportunity to do something for which you felt unprepared or inadequate but that you were blessed for trying? In healthy people, adulthood is characterized by a variety of new challenges. All tings denote there is a God. There is joy in imagining, learning, doing worthwhile new things. This is especially true as we deepen faith and trust in Heavenly Father and his Son, Jesus Christ. We cannot love ourselves enough to save ourselves. However, the Heavenly Father loves us more and knows us better than we love or know ourselves. We can trust the Lord and lean not unto our own understanding. Self-actualizers tend to be impatient with trivial and nonsensical rules. They will be bound by a rule if it makes sense to them. They seek novelty, stimulation, challenge, rather than safety. In their job, they will not be so much tempted by a larger salary as by a chance to do something wee, to experiment. We rejoice in the invitation to devote our whole souls to seeking higher and holier ways to love God and those around us. It is important not to seek perfection but to discover the joy that comes from integration of both strength and weaknesses—to freely skate between all potentials. #RandolphHarris 5 of 5