Come to me. A life founded upon suffering, upon reparation. I could not bear it, I had to touch it, enclose it, save it. As we move further into the exploration of the World of significant selfhood, it becomes obvious that the journey is not a solitary one. We are not the only ones traveling through the highs and the lows, the hills and vales, the dark and the light. No, one of the most sobering facts we can present is that each of us must travel into realms of danger and delight, agony and ecstasy, victory and defeat. We are social beings, and each of us share with every other human being the same kinds of goals and experiences. Yet, in the struggle to establish one’s identity, no one can really help, no matter who they are or how many times they have made the trip. It is a solitary and often lonely route. However, we have God to guide us and as we stand on the right path, the reward at the end of life’s journey is well worth the moments of adversity we experience along the way. Our Heavenly Father wants our lives to be joyful and lead us back to his presence. The decisions we make now will determine much of what will follow during our lives and throughout eternity. And the older we get, the quicker time seems to pass. The patterns we establish in our youth may accompany us throughout the rest of our mortal lives. #RandolphHarris 1 of 13

By making the right choices now, we will be able to take the path that will help us to endure the coldest and bleakest moments later in life. We should choose a road that leads to cleanliness in thought and word and action so that we can enjoy the companionship of the Holy Ghost. One of the most important ingredients of successful communication is rapport. Whether our communication is with one person or several hundred, to be effective and get the outcome we want, harmonious relationship is essential. Our Heavenly Father gives credit to ourselves for our happy state. However, no matter how similar two people may be, each of them is unique. Like with fingerprints, no two people have the same brain anatomy. The uniqueness is the result of a combination of genetic factors like individual life experiences. Even identical twins, having comes from the same fertilized ovum, are only close to being the same. If a person shares many things in common with one or more other people, we can say they are similar or alike in many respects, but we cannot say they are, the two of them, One. Even the minutest differences between two people will cause certain significant experiences to take place, therefore producing two different people. This sounds obvious. #RandolphHarris 2 of 13

Let us stay with identical twins a minute. Identical twins develop from the same zygote, the fertilized cell produced by the union of the male sperm with the female ovum. When a zygote divides into two cells, as in the case of identical twins, each cell separately goes on to form an embryo, fetus, and finally, an infant. Since each cell has the same genes as the original zygote, the heredity of the twins will be almost absolutely identical. Of course, identical twins must be off the same sex, since each has the same sex chromosomes as the original zygote. Because identical twins have virtually the same heredities, any differences between them must be explained on the basis of differing environments and experiences. Environment is an overworked and much abused term. We understand it deserves to be used correctly. Actually, it means the surroundings, the neighborhood. In everyday speech we limit the term to the physical surroundings: air, residence, community. However, in truth we have several environments, and each one is important for its own sake. The first environment is our prenatal environment. In the uterus, our first mortal World, we are highly protected as we undergo the developmental process that prepare us for birth and for the rest of life. #RandolphHarris 3 of 13

The developing child, encased in the amniotic fluid-filled sac that is protected by the spongy flesh of the uterine walls, which in turn are shielded by the pelvic bones covered with the fatty tissues of the mother’s hips, is never again so well protected. The baby will probably never again be so comfortable, so easily taken care of, nor so free to just grow. In one’s prenatal World the child does experience, in microcosm, a foretaste of some of what one can later expect on the outside. For, as protected as the child is, cushioned by so many layers of tissue and separated from actual physical involvement with the mother’s body by the osmotic processed of the placenta, one can still experience a great deal. Many shocks and bumps will not be cushioned—for example, a severe twisting or wrenching of the mother’s truck during a fall or automobile accident. Certain substances, like morphine and possibly nicotine and caffeine, can be assimilated through the placenta and be absorbed by the fetus. Then, too, certain emotional experiences of the mother can produce changes in her body chemistry which will affect the development of the fetus. “Teach children to walk in ways of soberness,” declares Mosiah 4.15. #RandolphHarris 4 of 13

The World we create today is the World our kids will inherit in the future. If we make our choices healthy now, we make our World healthy for them later. Half of all pregnancies in the United States of America are not intended. And one’s health long before one gets pregnant can determine the future baby’s health. The weight of creating a healthy baby does not rest on the mother alone. The father’s sperm not only affect whether you will get pregnant, but it can also determine if your pregnancy will be healthy. Sticking to a healthy diet is also important for the health of a man’s sperm. One should eat a diet that contains a good mix of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, grains, and dairy, and fitting in physical activity on most of the days of the week can help him also. Folic acid is not just important for mothers-to-be. Men who had lower levels of folic acid in their diet had a higher rate of abnormal chromosomes in their sperm. Further, it takes two to create a healthy embryo, so if women should take prenatal vitamins, so should men. Men should start taking these supplements six months before conception to set the stage for their sperm to be strong, healthy, mobile, and less clumpy. It is recommended to take vitamin: B12, C, E, Zinc, and Selenium. #RandolphHarris 5 of 13

Some many are concerned with living their best life, but there is also no downside to being your healthiest self while and after trying to conceive with your partner. We are told that women who want to become pregnant, who eagerly desire the child, who enjoy the physical changes in their bodies, who love and are well-loved by their husbands often have less morning sickness, less excess weight, less severe labor, and healthier babies. It is also important for men to be absolutely sober. Smoking, marijuana, or other illicit drugs can damage the sperm and women are more likely to miscarry. Men do not have to give up alcohol completely to avoid sperm abnormalities, but it a good idea for men to limit their alcohol intake if they hope to become a dad. Alcohol has been shown to reduce sperm production and cause sperm abnormalities. Stress can increase abnormal sperm and reduce its concentration. Sleeping and eating well, exercising regularly to work off pent-up energy and tension, making time to hangout with his guys friends (or sit in front of the television and enjoy a program) and other activities that he finds enjoyable or relaxing can help keep his stress under control. A future father should also talk to a doctor about his concerns and medications and supplements he is taking. #RandolphHarris 6 of 13

Now back to what makes people different. The second environment is the physical environment of the outside World. This includes the air we breathe, the Earth, the geographical location of our birthplace, the kinds of trees, bushes, foods, buildings, cities, and all other physical factors in the World about us, each of which interacts with our senses and our nervous system. We experience the physical surroundings and they become part of our conscious and even our unconscious. Further, we become part of the physical World even our unconscious. Further, we become part of the physical World and attach meaning to items and experiences. In the interaction between our physical surroundings and ourselves there is created an event, an experience, not possible without the interaction of the two factors. The physical provides us with many of the raw materials with which we design and build. They also provide inspiration and encouragement and goals and challenge. As we attach meaning to a chair it also gives some meaning to us, as sitters. We continually interact with the World within us and the World outside. We react to the external World and also respond to it. Similarly, the physical World outside us reacts and responds to us. The pattern is called Gestalt, which means, roughly, a holistic configuration. #RandolphHarris 7 of 13

The Gestalt psychologists tell us—and this is basic to the phenomenological approach of the Existentialists and Humanists—that our perceptions take the form of figure-and-ground patterns. Each unit that we observe is seen as a figure in or against the ground of its context. For instance, if we look at a tree, it is the figure. The ground is the Earth below it, the Sky behind it, the other trees around it, and the attitude we have toward trees. The figure-ground relationship is an important concept, because it colors our perceptions. We never really just see the tree. We bring to the perception our whole mental set and emotional context. So, in truth, we are seeing a whole pattern of things, in all relationships. We cannot say we are just looking at the Moon, for example. We also see the Sky behind it (which is just as much a part of the entire picture as is the Moon) and we have a whole set of attitudes toward the Moon and a concept of Moon-ness. So the physical environment is affected by us and we by it. It is probably a lot more important than we have really thought. The new science of Ecology is trying to tell us that our physical surroundings form an important part of our lives, and there is a symbiotic relationship—a state of mutual interdependency—between us and the environment. #RandolphHarris 8 of 13

And when one considers the impact of smog and plastic and water pollution and loss of trees and pesticide poisoning have on our daily lives and the fact that they exist or are being destroyed because of our impact on the environment, the mutual interdependency becomes a living reality. The third factor is the social environment, the other people in our World There is nearly eight billion people on this planet, each of them struggling to live, to stay alive and to find personal significance. We are related to each to other human being first by sharing the same biological classification, Homo sapiens, the same basic physical nature. Secondly, we share the same physical and social needs. In spite of differences in skin coloration, hair texture and color, body build, and culture, humans are all bio-social creators. Thirdly, we have a mutual economic and cultural interdependency which as definite social consequences. The inter-group conflict affects the life styles and group relationships that are so important to our on-going living. The final environment to be discussed is the cultural environment. Culture is usually defined as an organization, handed-down style of life shared by a particular group of people. #RandolphHarris 9 of 13

This cultural life style includes ways of thinking and speaking, idea-formation, attitudes, beliefs, and governmental, educational, economic, familial, and religious patterns. Although we draw national boundary lines around cultural groupings, one nation usually includes several cultural sub-groups. There is actually no one American culture, although we often talk and act as if there were. In reality, America is made up of hundred of sub-cultures, each blending into the overall culture to a certain extent but retaining many of its own unique patterns. If America is a cultural melting pot, it is a pot in which ingredients have not been fully stirred or blended. Some people think that each culture should give up its uniqueness and merge with the others, so that we can truly speak of one American culture. Others think it is possible for each group to co-exist, side by side, in a cultural pluralism, wherein each group can retain many of its unique features and do its own cultural thing without infringing on surrounding cultural groups. This latter pattern is the more difficult one. Some groups cannot tolerate the cultural differences they find in others and imply in one way or another that co-existence means “Do it our way!” #RandolphHarris 10 of 13

Therefore, there are at least four environments that matter deeply to each individual. Identical twins are different because of these four differing environments. We suspect that experiences having an effect on the brain interact with the genetic make-up so that over the course of years every person develops a completely individual brain anatomy. Identical twins are different because of these four differing environments. They may experience different prenatal environments, though this is rare. It is unlikely but possible that one twin and not the other would be harmed if the mother were to have an accident. Both twins would be born into the same physical environment, but each would have one’s own unique relationship to it. For instance, one twin could fall from the obstetrician’s grip during delivery and be hurt. One twin could be given a slightly different feeding formula than the other. The mother (or father, or nurse) might react differently to one twin than to the other, thus providing slightly different social environments. If a mother really did not want twins, as sometimes happens, she might favor the first-born and subtly, but significantly, neglect the other twin. And some people actually have triplets, but lose one of the babies and cherishes the surveying twins because they were a miracle.  #RandolphHarris 11 of 13

Nonetheless, here is an illustration of one shared  twins: Identical twin girls were born to a young family. The mother, fragile and was on a strict diet, did not have the energy to take care of both girls all by herself. So a division of labor took place from the beginning. When the babies cried in the middle of the night, the mother would feed girl A, and the father would prepare formula for girl B. The same thing occurred with diaper changing, holding, and playing with the twins. Gradually, girl A became much closer to her mother, and girl B became closer to her father. After the girls grew larger and were more autonomous, the earlier pairing-off was not forgotten, and girl A tended to be more like her mother, while girl B, in spite of the strong genetic pull of her female-ness and the similarity of genes to her twin, tended to identify more with her father. The twins, identical in every physical respect, soon differentiated, even in the clothing they wore. In spite of many similarities and many shared behaviors, there was a clear-cut difference between the two girls. #RandolphHarris 12 of 13

A final effect of the surroundings could occur in terms of the culture’s attitude toward the twins. In some societies, twins are bad fortune for the parents and are sent back to the premortal World at birth. In others, twins are good fortune and are treated as special people. In America multiple births are rare enough that special treatment is accorded them. The Dionne quintuplet of Canada were given inordinate amounts of publicity and were showed with gifts. Further, we find that twins, especially identical ones, are often confused with each other, dressed alike or not, and that there can emerge an identity crisis in which neither twin feels he or she as a unique identity apart from the other. All of these factors can create the differences that do show up in the behavior of twins, no matter how close the statistical correlations between their behaviors may be. Kindness is powerful, especially in a family setting. In so many relationships and circumstances in life, we must live with differences. “Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all people. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life,” reports 2 Nephi 31.20. #RandolphHarris 13 of 13

 Where vital, our side of these differences should not be denied or abandoned, but as followers of Christ we should live peacefully with others who do not share our values or accept the teachings upon which they are based.